Weight Loss Support - I feel like I keep starting over.




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winningbylosing
03-17-2014, 02:59 PM
Not sure if this is in the right board. Pretty new to this site as a member but have lurked for a while.

I have about 120-130 pounds to lose. I have been overweight my whole life.
I have been eating healthy consistently ish for about two and a half months. Exercise is not so consistent. Some weeks I go 4 or 5 days and some weeks I only go 1 or 2.

I am busy: I have a job and I go to grad school full time but I know much busier people can make it work

My problem is I always feel like I'm starting over. For example, this past week it was TOM so I overrate on Healthy food and didn't work out

This kind of thing happens a lot and I feel like I'm losing and gaining the same couple of pounds.

Anyone have any advice for staying consistent?


Locke
03-17-2014, 03:09 PM
When I have a big goal to undertake I find it helpful to just take things one day at a time. Don't worry about the past or think about the future. Just do the best you can with the time that you have and don't give up.

nlauah
03-17-2014, 04:33 PM
Hey you are not alone here for sure.. Keeps happening to me as well.. I need to lose around 40lbs and I feel like I always keep moving up and down in the 180s and never lower.. Just hang in there and keep doing the best you can.. It will eventually have to come off.. It is like getting it off and winning.. Thats what I keep telling myself.. Hope it helps!!! and I certainly feel the same way u do about jus losing the same pounds again n gain


lin43
03-17-2014, 06:44 PM
I see something positive in your post: You've been eating well for two months. Yes, you may have eaten too much or not exercised consistently, but you've still made a positive change. Real, lasting change often takes a long time. As long as you're not in a rush, I wouldn't worry about it. Eventually, just try to get more days on-program than off, and weight loss should follow. Try to incorporate more exercise into your daily routine. I know it's been said/written ad nauseum, but little changes like parking farther away, biking around town if weather permits, etc., really do add up. I've been maintaining my weight loss for almost 2 1/2 years now, and when I started, I would vigorously clean my house for an hour and enter that into my smartphone app as exercise (I worked up a sweat AND I got something accomplished). Although I do more than that now, it was nice to start with something less "formal."

TamTam
03-17-2014, 07:29 PM
I see something positive in your post: You've been eating well for two months. Yes, you may have eaten too much or not exercised consistently, but you've still made a positive change. Real, lasting change often takes a long time. As long as you're not in a rush, I wouldn't worry about it. Eventually, just try to get more days on-program than off, and weight loss should follow. Try to incorporate more exercise into your daily routine. I know it's been said/written ad nauseum, but little changes like parking farther away, biking around town if weather permits, etc., really do add up. I've been maintaining my weight loss for almost 2 1/2 years now, and when I started, I would vigorously clean my house for an hour and enter that into my smartphone app as exercise (I worked up a sweat AND I got something accomplished). Although I do more than that now, it was nice to start with something less "formal."

Great words ! I LOVE your ticker! Great idea to do it in clothes size and not in pounds!!

Wannabeskinny
03-18-2014, 10:54 AM
I've been thinking about the same concept as you, starting over... and over.. and over. Every Monday, every New Years, every spring, etc. I love new starts, but I hate starting over especially when it gets me nowhere.

Now that I'm doing IE I no longer feel that way. I never have that feeling of "I messed up today, tomorrow is a new day" because I don't berrate myself anymore for eating what I want to it. Instead, I try to hone the skills I'm learning. I pay attention to my hunger signals and satiety levels before and after I, I focus only on assessing my eating habits, not judging them. I'm taking away the "good food/good person" mentality and trying to be objective about my cravings without criticizing myself. Remarkably, taking away the guilt of eating puts me in a much better position to make food choices, all that stress and angst and unhappiness was just driving me to binge.

So yea, now I'm realizing this method has worked really well and I no longer feel like I need to amp things up or rework my diet or start over, ever!

Mumof 2D
03-18-2014, 02:36 PM
That is why I named my motivation group JUST START NOW! Because I felt like I was always restarting! I keep thinking of things like this...every day is a new beginning. If I didn't have a great day then I have the whole day to make it better tomorrow!!!

Arctic Mama
03-18-2014, 03:25 PM
As far as I can tell you're not starting over. You've been at this for two months and worked hard.

This isn't some streak of perfection or failure, whereby the chain is broken by one poor choice or even ten. If that was the case, despite being committed to losing weight for almost six years I would only be two weeks into a 'successful' diet because I went off plan two weeks ago. And yet, somehow I've failed off over 120 pounds ;)

Reframe your thinking - this isn't pass/fail, moral superiority or sloth, or anything other than what it is - a decision you have made to increase your health and well being through the things you choose to eat and how you choose to live. Every good choice is good, regardless of what comes after it.

This isn't zero sum gain here!

Focus on taking it one choice at a time and when you make a choice that doesn't move you toward your goal, stand right back up and make the next choice one that does! It's that simple. Not easy, granted, but simple enough to understand. And that mindset makes a WORLD of difference in how you view your life and body.

Dollydimple
03-19-2014, 06:22 AM
If it is any help, here's my bit of advice. I have a great deal of weight to lose. So much, that if I looked at the whole amount I would be so daunted I'd fall off the wagon, or probably not even start. So I'm just concentrating on a bit at a time. I am focusing on 2 stone (28lb) chunks, lose that then another 28lbs. It is a realistic amount to lose and I won't get disheartened.
I don't see how you are starting over at all. Like me you have a big load to lose and it will take us some time. We aren't two robots, we can't realistically stick to a spartan regime and we will, because we are human, have hiccups along the way. But the important thing is, that we are still hanging in there.

Pattience
03-19-2014, 07:19 AM
Not sure if this is in the right board. Pretty new to this site as a member but have lurked for a while.

I have about 120-130 pounds to lose. I have been overweight my whole life.
I have been eating healthy consistently ish for about two and a half months. Exercise is not so consistent. Some weeks I go 4 or 5 days and some weeks I only go 1 or 2.

I am busy: I have a job and I go to grad school full time but I know much busier people can make it work

My problem is I always feel like I'm starting over. For example, this past week it was TOM so I overrate on Healthy food and didn't work out

This kind of thing happens a lot and I feel like I'm losing and gaining the same couple of pounds.

Anyone have any advice for staying consistent?

This is what i would do if i were you.
Given that i don't have complete information its still a bit of a stab in the dark. First off is being really organised. And allow serious time off regularly. you know the occasional weekend away and things of that kind where you can chill out and regroup.

1. height, weight, age, what's your maintenance calories? work that out on a calorie calculator.

2. start by eating well at that calorie range. Get to see what it feels like. Monitor your weight daily. obviously you will have to count calories to get this right. And make sure that your proportion of proteins carbs v fats is in order. It should be something like 25% 55% 15%. It can vary a bit but protein should not go below 15% and fats should not go higher than 30%. Make most of your fats vegetable fats not saturated fats.
After you've' done that for a bit, reduce your calories as little as possible whilst still noticeing in weight reduction. I mean if you find you are stable at the recommended weight, then lower it by 200 calories per day or pick some other number but not too much. Just a slight reduction. This will help you avoid hunger, keep you well nourished and minimise the chances of plateaus and hunger rebounds. You will need to readjust your calories downwards from time to time.
Don't be in a hurry. Focus on your studies and just try to have a good solid diet plan so you can have more time for your studies because generally most of us when we diet seem to need a lot of time thinking about all that.

3. Avoid your danger foods completely. if you binge, quit the foods you binge on like high fat take aways, and high refined sugar type foods. cheese if its a problem. Down the track you may be able to bring them back but for now, give them up. Give up sweets because these seem to trigger bad eating behaviours. Quit bags of potato chips, anything highly salted and processed. Maximise unadulterated and home cooked foods. Develop a mindset of resolve against breaking your rules. It helps to have fruit around and other foods that you won't feel guilty or worried about later. I mean if you eat a salad sandwich outside of your meal plan, you are not going to feel bad about it. But if you find your self starving and all that's around to eat is cake, then you eat you will probably feel worried or guilty about it. I mo not saying you should feel guilty about it but lots of people do and once they start to go down that path, they find they are doing it more and more often and then back to square one again or off the wagon.

4. don't forget to factor in alcohol. count the calories in that if you drink.

5. Don't bother with formal exercise unless the mood takes you. Instead wear a pedometer and monitor your steps. You may find you are doing a fair bit of walking throughout the course of your day anyway. When you have time for recreation make it stuff that is fun and active as much as possible. A bush walk. trip to skating rink, you know that sort of thing. Or just don't bother with it if you are not interested in that sort of thing. Yoga on the other hand has dimensions to it not found in gym and a lot of other types of exercises so considering a weekly class of yoga or tai chi or one of those types of exercise which include mind training and awareness. These things teach you skills like relaxation and self awareness and so on. Or when you get to a point where you think yo can do it, join a sporting group a team sport.

6. when you are have TOM, go easy on yourself. Its ok. You are hungrier. Your body will hold more water. You are more moody or emotionally fragile so don't try to force yourself into some model that considers you to be in optimum condition all the time.

7. Get lots of sleep. After dinner at night, set a time for when you must be off the computer. you need time to wind your mind down in order to go to sleep easily and its better to go to bed a bit earlier than pushing yourself into the wee hours. Apparently without eight hours sleep a night, the body isn't as efficient as processing your food and losing weight so make sure you get your sleep.

8. Make avoiding unnecessary stress a priority. REcognise when you are stressing and learn how to deal with it. Cognitive behaviour therapy skills are worth knowing for this. You can learn from books. I know when studying there will be stress. That's why yoga and meditation and things of that kind can help. Be really organised and include time to de-stress.

9. When people say they are eating healthy, we've only ever got your word for it. Your healthy might not be my idea of healthy. But even though i think i know a lot about nutrition and what is healthy, every time i start a diet, i learn more stuff about nutrition and tweak my meals to make it more balanced and healthy. More nutritious. More natural. CAse in point. some people think bread is not healthy. Others think gluten free is more healthy than wheat. Some people think bacon is healthy. Others disagree about whether dairy should be low fat or full fat. Some think you've got to eat super foods and then go and eat a whole load of other obvious crap but somehow they think its still ok.

10. you have a problem, get seek help asap from a counsellor. Or if its about a difficulty with your studies, see your lecturer.

don't be in a hurry with all this. You will get better at is as you go along.

11. EAt your meals fairly close together e.g. breakfast before 9am, lunch between 12-1pm. Dinner finish before 7pm but start at either 5 or 6. I usually have a glass of wine around 5pm and sometimes 4pm. It helps me leave dinner to 6pm other wise i wouldn't make it. Or work out some other schedule that you think should work for you but if you know you can't get dinner in early, consider a bigger lunch and think about where you are going get some good food in before you get home for a lighter supper later on. Or something like that. anyway work out a style of eating that you think will work for you and your routine.

This is my list of healthy and regular foods.
any fruit or vegetable even potatoes and aim for a variety of both every day.
Any dairy but butter and cheese in small quantities only. I use small amounts of strong flavoured cheese like fetta, parmesans and hard cheddars to make my salads and other meals more interesting.
seafood
low fat meats - but i don't eat them cause i try to be a veggo
beans lentils and things of that kind which i try to eat a lot more of now.
eggs
nuts and seeds in small quantities. I add them to my meals rather than snack on them.
spaghetti and other pastas but not in unlimited quantities
wholegrain bread but not in unlimited quantitates
basmati rice and other rices and again all these sorts of things can be limited by increasing the amount of vegies in the meal
extra virgin olive oil is my mainstay of oils. It tastes the best in my view.
Red wine and balsamic vinegars. Make salad dressings yourself using these two and olive oil as your base but keep it to minimum quantity.
herbs and spices fresh and dried.
any other condiments like soy sauce, fish sauce tomato sauce, all are ok since only small amounts are used.
asian noodles are also ok.


Things i avoid at all costs: peanut butter, jam, honey, any sweets that are industrially made, all ice-cream. My out clause for this stuff is this: if i am out at restaurant with with other people i can have dessert. Or if i am out at someone's house or an event and someone offers me home made cake or pie or dessert of some kind then i can have one piece. If i'm at an event and i am not committed to one piece, its better to have none. I haven't done any of that yet but its an option. sushi from sushi train restaurant is off my list. All sorts of smoothies from public eateries because they have added sweeteners and are basically junk food. All sorts of flavoured milk drinks.

things that are safe for me to eat occasionally: any other sort of takeaway since i am not a big takeaway eater. I've never been a burger eater. But i haven't been tempted on any of these things and am generally avoiding them. Fruit juices. If i was a big juice drinker they'd be on the list above. A daily hit of alcohol (wine) is permitted and more than one glass on social occasions). Anything that comes already prepared in a packet or can is only an occasional food and is not ok on a regular basis. I will eat less of these while i'm in weight loss phase than i would be able to afterwards but they will never be a big part of my life. If they were a risk, i'd ban them until i thought they were no longer a risk. I have learnt that sweets foods will always be a risk for me that's why i intend to never even try again to eat them in moderation. I've learnt i can't.

This is basically what i mean to eat for the rest of my life.

I am sure i can think of more stuff but this is what i would do for starters. Take what you want. Good luck.

Hotaruchan
03-19-2014, 10:31 AM
If you're busy, I find that I'm a lot more likely to stick to things if I make it really easy for myself...I usually spend some time on the weekends making a batch of things that work with whatever plan I'm on at the moment. I plan things out on the weekend so that hopefully during the week I won't succumb to "meh, it's easier to just order a pizza."

I know it sounds fad-y and silly, but mason jar salads are actually really great for this. I chop up all my vegetables on Saturday or Sunday morning, assemble salads, and just grab one out of the fridge in the morning when I'm going to work during the week. As long as the dressing doesn't touch the greens, they stay crisp longer than you would expect. (Some people use pumps to vacuum seal and everything, but I just make sure the top's screwed on tightly). Crockpots are fantastic too. I've got a freezer full of mostly veggie-based things that I just need to thaw and toss in the pot to cook while I'm at work all day. If you run a search for crockpot freezer cooking you'll find a ton of results bound to fit any dietary restrictions you might have.

I don't carry cash at work so that I'm not tempted to go to the vending machine and try to convince myself that it's just silly to use a card for a $2 coffee at Dunkin Donuts (caramel swirl is my kryptonite).

carter
03-19-2014, 11:02 AM
Focus on taking it one choice at a time and when you make a choice that doesn't move you toward your goal, stand right back up and make the next choice one that

I agree with this completely - very well said, also.

I just said something similar on another "starting over" thread - when I am struggling (as I have been lately), I sometimes feel I am starting over with each choice I make - that is because each choice is decoupled from the one that went before it. Whether the last thing I ate was on-plan or off-plan, the next thing I eat will be. There is no "I blew it today/this week/this month" or "I'll start again tomorrow/Monday/after my birthday." There is only the very next choice I make.