General Diet Plans and Questions - Intuitive Eating: March 2014




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Wannabeskinny
03-05-2014, 10:07 AM
Hope nobody minds a monthly IE thread.

So how goes it everyone? I've been having a rough time the past few days. I've put my scale in the basement and itching to get on it but I haven't yet. I'm almost completely certain I've gained a pound or two and I just know that getting on the scale will make me want to beat myself up over it. No, better not!


carolr3639
03-05-2014, 01:41 PM
We used to wait till we got to 500 posts but a monthly one is ok too.

SouthernMaven
03-06-2014, 09:06 AM
I think the monthly thread is a good idea. In the past I've seen people post that they are interested in IE but are a bit overwhelmed with all the posts. For some reason they feel compelled to read all of them!

Yesterday was the first day of Lent, and I have made the decision to give up wine for the duration. I'm not thinking of it as a restriction as much as a penance, and I will allow myself to have it when Lent is over.

I ate a very small breakfast yesterday morning (about 8:00 a.m.) before going to my new job. It was only yogurt and a banana. I only worked 5 hours (10-3) and we just take a short break. We can take a longer break if we want and go out to eat, but what's the point? I mean, it's only 5 hours, so I just bring my coffee & drink a cup during my break.

I'd already told my husband I wanted to go to a local restaurant that was having a 25% discount on all their fish and seafood items, so we did that around 4:00 p.m. We ran a short errand before that and by the time we got there I was famished! Truly & completely hungry. He'd only eaten a small lunch and was pretty hungry as well. We both got the fish & chips, something that's not even on the menu but was mentioned on the 25% off email offer I got. Even the waiter didn't know they had it! It was fried tilapia filets, french fries, and cole slaw. Man, it was delicious - and I think the fact that I was soooo hungry made it even more so.

It is really nice to be able to eat what you want when you are truly hungry. And in the past I would have been freaking out to let myself get that hungry because of my fear of "overeating." I ate both filets (probably about 7 oz total), most of the cole slaw and about half of the fries. When the waiter asked if we wanted a dessert we declined. No way; I was completely full. And the best thing was that I didn't want or need another thing to eat before bed. Here's where giving up the wine makes such a difference - even one glass will find me looking for a salty snack to eat with it.

I can imagine all the low-carb people here would think "BREADED FISH??? and FRENCH FRIES?? HORRORS!!!" But it was absolutely delicious and completely satisfied me. Had I eaten baked fish, salad, and string beans I'd have been scrounging all night for something else to eat.


Wannabeskinny
03-06-2014, 09:22 AM
Thanks for chiming in SouthernMaven. I don't fault you at all for eating that fish. You got so much enjoyment out of it and all for the price of a few calories? Well done.

I'm learning how to enjoy food so much more now. The experience of eating is more complete now than it ever has been before. There is a beginning, there is a middle, there is an end, and then there is the aftermath of enjoying a full stomach but not so full that I can't do anything. Before I was doing IE I was eating till exhaustion. I was overeating without realizing it, just by finishing everything in my plate. The edge of a plate is not a very good parameter to go by though is it?

So now after dinner I have energy enough to do dishes. wha???? Before I was always piling them in the sink and leaving them for morning when I had energy. Now I wake up in the morning to a clean kitchen and I must say what a nice orderly feeling that is.

I'm also doing some hard work on not berating my appearance. I've set up a praise jar - each time I find myself starting to say something nasty to myself "look how fat I am" for example - I stop myself and scold that nasty voice and then give myself a compliment. And I put a bit of change or a dollar in the jar. I don't know when and what I'll do with that money though.

Last night my mother visited me in my dream to tell me how fat I've gotten. I woke up feeling awful. This is a difficult battle and now it's manifesting itself in my dreams, is there no escape lol!?

CountryLiving
03-06-2014, 10:07 AM
Hi all,
I'm new to this forum but not new to IE. I've gone back and read many of your IE threads. WannabeSkinny...your posts could be mine as I related to you a lot!

I discovered IE about 1.5 years ago and read several of the books. I've tried many times to implement it and ended up back to dieting. Low Carb seems to be my go to diet. Sadly I've tried LC a zillion times and never last on it even though it gives me much energy which is why I always felt the need to try it "just one more time". Last week I had tried to give LC a go again and failed again and after a "mental" breakdown about dieting and what a failure I am at it and how I'm heavier now than I have been in the last 10 years I've come to terms with it all and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I AM DONE DIETING. All they have done is make me fatter and destroyed my self esteem.

I got my Overfed Head book back out and have be rereading it and it's so so so freeing. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders and wonder why I have been torturing myself all these years with diet after diet when the answer is just eat when hungry and stop when full. I know the answer is not so easy but just not having to plan the food and think about every morsel that goes in my mouth whether it's allowed or not is freeing!

I have been at IE for about 4 days now. I have been stepping on the scale just to see what is happening and it is going down. I really need to put the scale away though as I can easily turn IE into another diet if I let it.

I'm glad to join you all here on this journey!

Barb

Wannabeskinny
03-06-2014, 10:24 AM
Welcome and thank you for joining us! How did you find us can I ask?

I hear that people go back on diets with IE and I don't blame you, low carb has been my go-to form of self torture for long enough to recognize why. It's hard to let go of the mindset more than the other types of diets. At this point I'd rather binge than do a diet. Learning to let go that way is not easy, but I'm learning to be much gentler on myself.

IE is a very different type of approach and if I were to objectively observe where've you've gone wrong I'd say that it's only because you lack compassion for yourself. In order for IE to work you have to be really nice to yourself and work very hard at aleviating your stress and anxiety. You have to lock up that dog in the room otherwise it will be all over you! Of course it's impossible to keep stress at bay for long, but it helps me to do some chi gong and meditating. I've also been reading a journaling book called Beautiful You and it gives guided journaling exercises every day geared towards self acceptance. I find that it helps me alot.

CountryLiving
03-06-2014, 12:19 PM
Well I've been to this site many times checking out the LC forums and just happen to see the IE forum while browsing around.

You are very right about having self compassion. I've hated my body for so many years even though it has given me 3 precious children and tolerated all I've put it through. Working on loving me for me and stopping the negative self talk have been areas I know I need to work on.

I just ate an early lunch because I am hungry! Before I would make myself wait until 12 because that's when you "should" eat lunch and then I'd overeat because of being so hungry. I'm also dealing with a headache today. I think it's a hormonal one. In the past I've always tried to deal with them by eating everything around me knowing it wasn't going to take it away. Today I will try other remedies other than food!

Barb

SouthernMaven
03-06-2014, 12:53 PM
Hi all,
I'm new to this forum but not new to IE. I've gone back and read many of your IE threads. WannabeSkinny...your posts could be mine as I related to you a lot!

I discovered IE about 1.5 years ago and read several of the books. I've tried many times to implement it and ended up back to dieting. Low Carb seems to be my go to diet. Sadly I've tried LC a zillion times and never last on it even though it gives me much energy which is why I always felt the need to try it "just one more time". Last week I had tried to give LC a go again and failed again and after a "mental" breakdown about dieting and what a failure I am at it and how I'm heavier now than I have been in the last 10 years I've come to terms with it all and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I AM DONE DIETING. All they have done is make me fatter and destroyed my self esteem.

I got my Overfed Head book back out and have be rereading it and it's so so so freeing. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders and wonder why I have been torturing myself all these years with diet after diet when the answer is just eat when hungry and stop when full. I know the answer is not so easy but just not having to plan the food and think about every morsel that goes in my mouth whether it's allowed or not is freeing!

I have been at IE for about 4 days now. I have been stepping on the scale just to see what is happening and it is going down. I really need to put the scale away though as I can easily turn IE into another diet if I let it.

I'm glad to join you all here on this journey!

Barb

Barb - Welcome!

Substitute calorie counting for low-carb and your post could have been mine. Calorie counting was always my go-to diet and when I think back on the mental gymnastics I went through every day to stay within my calorie range I am amazed that I even participated in such self-torture. It was all about the calories, you know - not whether or not I was hungry and what I was truly hungry FOR. As long as I stayed within the all-important allotment I was being so good. And when I ate more than I should have for that day - likely because I was downright STARVING - the self-flagellation was intense.

How insane it all is, really. It is so nice to finally let go of all that.

carolr3639
03-06-2014, 06:42 PM
think the fact that I was soooo hungry made it even more so.Exactly.

Wannabeskinny
03-07-2014, 06:16 PM
I'm at the part of Overcoming Overeating Where I have to stock up on foods. Just thinking about it makes me anxious. I'm ashamed to go out and buy all that. What will my husband think? I'm going to gain weight for sure. I'm feeling a lot of stress over this and doubting if I can go through with it. I'm going to binge for sure. Has anyone gone through with this and come out the other end unscathed??

CountryLiving
03-07-2014, 06:38 PM
I stocked up on all sorts of junk lthis past Monday. Donuts, Oreos, ice cream, etc. my kids were in heaven! My kids are IE naturally so they can eat a little of it and be satisfied. It's amazing how you don't crave all the junk when you give your self permission. I told myself all week if I wanted to eat nothing but donuts for lunch that was ok.....but that never sounded good. You really have to be honest with yourself and give full permission. Good luck!

SouthernMaven
03-07-2014, 06:43 PM
I'm at the part of Overcoming Overeating Where I have to stock up on foods. Just thinking about it makes me anxious. I'm ashamed to go out and buy all that. What will my husband think? I'm going to gain weight for sure. I'm feeling a lot of stress over this and doubting if I can go through with it. I'm going to binge for sure. Has anyone gone through with this and come out the other end unscathed??

Wannabe, I've always had a fair amount of my favorite foods around, mainly because they are also my husband's favorites. So I really didn't have to do what she suggests as most of my favorites are already here.

When I read that, however, I thought - that's going to be difficult for a lot of people to do. I am not surprised it causes you stress. Frankly, I don't really think it's necessary, and I've never seen that suggestion in any other material I've read about IE.

I am still of the opinion that each person has to approach IE in their own way. For example, I love the Overfed Head, but I don't pay any attention to Rob Steven's hunger/fullness chart. Doesn't work for me at all. Love Susanna Dee's book but I refuse to journal. Lots of people LOVE Geneen Roth's books on IE, and I think they are pretty much worthless.

If you're not comfortable with stocking your house, I don't see any reason to do it. Perhaps you can revisit that idea at a later date.

SouthernMaven
03-08-2014, 10:36 AM
I stocked up on all sorts of junk lthis past Monday. Donuts, Oreos, ice cream, etc. my kids were in heaven! My kids are IE naturally so they can eat a little of it and be satisfied. It's amazing how you don't crave all the junk when you give your self permission. I told myself all week if I wanted to eat nothing but donuts for lunch that was ok.....but that never sounded good. You really have to be honest with yourself and give full permission. Good luck!

This is something I've experienced a lot lately. Upon reflection, I think that perhaps this is what they are aiming for in OO when they tell you to stock up on your favorites. If everything is there, it becomes your responsibility to decide what - if any - of these foods are going to be what you REALLY crave in order to satisfy hunger.

When I'm really, truly hungry there are things that STILL will not satisfy me. Most of the time I need some type of protein. Things like donuts, cakes, cookies, etc won't do the trick. I've found myself opening and closing the pantry and/or refrigerator door and walking away, truly puzzled as to what I want to eat. If everything is available, and nothing is off-limits, it's surprising how often I reject the very items I craved when I was dieting.

Locke
03-10-2014, 12:38 PM
Hello IE'ers,

I'm back to IE once again. Went through a few weeks of dieting craziness. I went full on ketogenic, then no oil whole foods vegan, then paleo. I was so frustrated and angry at myself for not having control and bingeing after restricting my calories down to 1200/day. It didn't help that my doctor recommended 1200 per day. I weigh around 375 and am quite active for my size... I walk over an hour every day for my commute, put in 12 hour days, etc.

1200 calories per day DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. Neither does restricting the types of food that I eat. It's so easy to fall into the dieting mentality of CARBS = BAD or MEAT = BAD. I'm so sick of it. So I went to the grocery store and told myself I can buy whatever I want: no meticulously crafted menu that is controlled for calories, micronutrients, or macronutrients. I just went to the store and picked what looked good. It turns out about 90% of the foods I picked were nutritious. The rest were treats.

I put the candies and trail mix treats that I bought in their own separate cupboard so they're not always on display with the other stuff in the pantry. I know they are there and I can have them whenever I feel like it. I had two small pieces of chocolate and about a tablespoon of trail mix over the weekend. It turns out that I tend to like just have a bite of something when I have a sweet tooth.

Last night I made dinner for my roommate and I. Pork chops, fresh corn bread, and brussels sprouts with real butter. I made up a small plate for myself and ate until I was satisfied. I was a little hungry when I went to bed but I didn't feel the need to eat anything more. I'm always a little bit amazed when I do this way of eating. It's so neat to be able to trust myself. When I'm dieting I can't have candy, cookies, or munchie stuff in the house. I'll lose control and eat everything then hate myself. I just need to remember this feeling so I don't go back to being a diet dictator and causing real harm to myself and my body.

carolr3639
03-10-2014, 01:32 PM
Once again.

A repeat that helps me.

This is a guest post written by Skwigg. This girl is a walking dictionary of food and nutrition facts, has read and tried MULTIPLE fitness plans, and every time I check, she’s read another “hot of the press” diet book. And, she tells it like it is.

skwigg

Well, it took like 25 years of trial and error, but I am a happy eater. I follow no rules. I count no calories. I’m completely over nutrient ratios, meal timing and measuring cups. Plus, as an added bonus, I’m not fat. Any time I’ve flirted with this “intuitive eating” stuff before, I’ve quickly become too fat for my little pants. This time I’m gradually losing. I’m 5’8″ and weigh 135-137 most days. I don’t know my percentage of body fat. It’s possible that I’m losing muscle and brains. I’m not concerned enough to get out the calipers. My Tanita scale tells me that I’m between 14% and 24% body fat. Helpful, eh? It’s like asking a Magic 8 Ball. The readout may as well say “Concentrate and ask again.” Or “Signs point to yes.” All I know is that my yoga pants are loose! Woohoo!

So, why did intuitive eating work this time when it’s destroyed my abs so many times before? I’ve been trying to figure that out. I know that in the past I’ve used intuitive eating as an excuse to binge. I’d turn to it after a bout of really restrictive dieting, or when I couldn’t face my nutrition software, or when I wasn’t accountable to a trainer. My “intuition” would tell me to eat boxes of glazed donuts and sheets of cookies. I’d gain weight, scoff at the total lameness of this “embrace your inner cow” intuitive hoody-hoo, and go right back to obsessive dieting, tracking and measuring. I wrote down every single thing I ate or drank for TWO YEARS. That was not fun, and actually not helpful.

I’m more relaxed now. I don’t make food decisions from a place of frustration and panic. My intuition really likes strawberries. I eat chocolate every day. I like bagels. I like to eat out. I’m not limiting myself to dieter food but I’m very aware of portions. I eat one Cadbury Egg, not six. I eat mini-bagels, not those bakery bagels the size of my head. I understand that a typical restaurant serving is enough to feed four people.

Last time I tried intuitive eating, portion control was my downfall. I believed those books that said to eat as many cookies as I wanted and that eventually I wouldn’t want as many. Right!! Weeks later, I still wanted every cookie that had ever been baked. I was reeling out of control on a blood sugar rollercoaster. The more junk I ate, the more junk I wanted. I was never able to pull it together enough to even maintain my weight, much less lose.

Some things that really helped me this time:

- I weigh myself every day. If you’re not going to count calories or measure your food, you’d better be keeping an eye on something. It could be weight, waist measurement, a caliper pinch, a pair of jeans, but you need some kind of objective feedback. If you choose not to track your food and not to look at any of your measurements, then you’d better go buy some fat pants.

- I eat what I want but I always control portions. Generally, the more I want something, the more I need to watch out. I can play fast and loose with spinach but I’d better take my ice cream in a single-serving container.

- I share. I never used to share before. Sharing is the greatest thing ever! You get to eat whatever you want and make everyone around you fat. Try it! Order the double-fudge super cookie dough caramel delight. Eat three bites and watch your dining companions devour the rest of it like hungry hyenas. Share your French fries. Split the sandwich. Order three tacos and only eat one of them. It’s exhilarating! Plus, I always have great leftovers.

- I strike a nice balance of healthy food and treats. You can’t eat an all-treat diet and look or feel very good. I eat loads of fresh fruits and vegetables every day. I love whole grains. I eat nuts and seeds like I’m a squirrel. I’m a sucker for a big salad. I enjoy lean protein as long as it’s not forced upon me every 2-3 hours. I eat a lot of healthy whole foods but I like to add a Pop Tart or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup for good measure.

- I don’t eat six times per day, or three times per day, or three meals and two snacks. I don’t follow anybody else’s rules because how does the book or the calculator know what I’m doing or when I’m going to be hungry? It doesn’t. So, I eat when I feel like it. On an active, hungry day I might eat 5-6 times. On a lazy day with restaurant food, I might eat 2-3 times. I’m no longer dumb enough try to force three more meals after lunch at The Cheesecake Factory.

- I grasp the importance of good nutrition. I’m not knocking diet plans or nutrition programs, especially if you’re trying to achieve a sports performance or body comp goal. A little bit of structure can be good. I base my eating on the healthy principles I’ve learned but I don’t allow myself to become a slave to the details. And don’t believe that I can eat as many cookies as I want and still lose weight. Big derrrr there!

- I flow. That’s significant because I used to battle. I battled my weight. I struggled with willpower. I waged a war against fat. I fought with the numbers. I kicked myself when I slipped. My mindset was one big bloody massacre. My fitness goals were always at odds with what I really wanted, which was to relax and eat Cheetos. Now, if I want to relax and eat Cheetos, I do so immediately. No struggle. No stress. No guilt. I know that for my next meal I’ll choose something a little more ab-friendly.
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CindySunshine
03-10-2014, 02:37 PM
Thanks, Carol what an excellent and insightful post. I so agree and identify with a lot of it, if you just eat it now you avoid the mind battles and yes sharing is great! I love to order dessert just like that get a few bites then settle in with my coffee while my husband eats the rest (and he has no weight issues so it is guiltless). Also agree wholeheartedly that it is personal and you take what works and reject the rest.

Hang in there Wannabe ultimately you know this is the path and it is the patience to work through these early weeks to get to a calm and strong point. Think how much happier you will be by summer if you press through.

And Maven I agree on choices for food and proteins role. If I eat well and healthfully the cravings for the other things go way down. I totally enjoy a small serving of dessert after a healthful meal, but that brownie for breakfast makes me feel terrible.

SouthernMaven
03-10-2014, 03:11 PM
Welcome back, Locke!

I totally understand about the temporary revert to dieting. It's easy to fall into that trap - I've done it myself. And I see a few people who have been on the IE thread in the past who are now back on the diet roller-coaster. Everyone has to experience it, I think, for the IE concept to burrow its way into our subconscious for good. Just like Skwigg.

Carol, thanks for that repost. It's a great reminder of what we always need to keep in mind...IE doesn't mean eating junk all day, every day. We do need to listen to our bodies, and if we're honest, our bodies do want and need healthy foods. For me, yesterday it was fruit and today it's string beans. I have some cooking right now. And she's so right about portions as well. A scoop of ice cream here and there is fine; eating a half-gallon a night - well, not so much. :dizzy:

Locke
03-10-2014, 03:48 PM
And she's so right about portions as well. A scoop of ice cream here and there is fine; eating a half-gallon a night - well, not so much. :dizzy:

Portion sizes have been so important for me. I find that if I serve myself a small portion I tend to eat that and be satisfied. I constantly tell myself that if I'm hungry when I finish my plate I can have seconds. The plate set that I have has two different sizes of plates: 12 inch and 8 inch. I always used to fill up a 12 inch one full of food. Now I use only the 8 inch ones and I make sure that I make multiple items for dinner. So before I'd just make a bunch of spaghetti and eat a whole big plate full. Now I have a serving of spaghetti, a little salad, and a piece of bread. I've found that this helps with my distorted view of portion sizes.

This week I bought granola and yogurt for my breakfasts at work. I know that yogurt and granola are calorie dense foods so portion size is important. The first day I ate it I measured out what the manufacturer listed as a serving size so I could have an understanding of what a serving looked like. Each day afterwards I served myself an approximation of that initial measured out serving. I find that I can be truly satisfied on very little (but tasty!) food. It's a whole new world.

This morning I stopped by my favorite bagel place to get breakfast. I was so happy to eat a bagel and cream cheese. I texted my mom saying how much I love the food that they make there. She remarked that I was very chipper for the day after the time change. It's so cool that I can get pleasure and not guilt from food. Thank you so much everyone here for your support. I keep coming back to IE for a reason- it really helps build a healthy relationship with food.

SouthernMaven
03-11-2014, 09:19 AM
I stumbled across this early this morning so wanted to share it with all of you.

http://www.refinery29.com/the-anti-diet-project
(Scroll to the bottom of the page to start reading her posts from the beginning).

Looks like she started this project in November of last year. I haven't read all of it yet but what I have read certainly resonates with me.

I've also shared this under the thread http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/293423-ie-sadness-letting-go-diets-1.html#post4960969 in the Chicks in Control section.

Wannabeskinny
03-11-2014, 10:34 AM
I stumbled across this early this morning so wanted to share it with all of you.

http://www.refinery29.com/the-anti-diet-project
(Scroll to the bottom of the page to start reading her posts from the beginning).

Looks like she started this project in November of last year. I haven't read all of it yet but what I have read certainly resonates with me.

I've also shared this under the thread http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/293423-ie-sadness-letting-go-diets-1.html#post4960969 in the Chicks in Control section.

Thank you so much for sharing this! I just read through all the blog posts and look forward to keeping up with her progress! Something about her being here in nyc makes me feel super connected, like I'm not alone!

SouthernMaven
03-11-2014, 10:47 AM
Thank you so much for sharing this! I just read through all the blog posts and look forward to keeping up with her progress! Something about her being here in nyc makes me feel super connected, like I'm not alone!

I had a hunch you might relate! ;)

CountryLiving
03-11-2014, 11:24 AM
SouthernMaven- thank you so much for posting that link. I started reading it. I have already found myself slowly slipping back into the diet mentality this week. Last week I found myself weighing every morning. Days when I felt I ate IE I felt like the scale should have gone down the next day and when it didn't...the diet bells started ringing. I know IE isn't all about weight loss. I really need to get rid of the scale as I find it can define my whole day.

Locke
03-11-2014, 11:42 AM
I love this blog! It's good to be reminded that IE is a process- an art. I'm trying to apply my usual perfectionist approach to it; staring at the remains of my breakfast wracking my brain to figure out whether I feel satisfied or not.

Wannabeskinny
03-11-2014, 11:58 AM
I initially lost 2lbs, and have gained 4lbs. I'm heavier now than I started IE. I'm feeling the pull of the diet of course but I'm really happy I'm not dieting after all. I feel more comfortable around food than I have felt in years. I am starting to trust myself around food more. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is a process driven goal, not a goal driven process.

CindySunshine
03-12-2014, 07:30 AM
Good morning gals, I too, really enjoyed that blog the article on bagels was great and so true. Also like her insights on working out.

My thoughts the last couple days have been on of all things, fruit. I really love fruit and have never restricted it. I know lots of people do especially the carb counters but for me it was always essentially a *free* food. I'm especially fond of watermelon, grapes, mango, bing cherries, honeydew and cantaloupe, raspberries. I buy and eat lots of it.

But what I'm noticing is I think it is still a diet rules thing albeit a free part. I don't drink enough water which is I think part of the problem and when I come back from a workout that bowl of watermelon hydrates me where a big glass of water with lemon would be a better place to start. I find myself in the evening eating a lot of fruit and probably I needed a more substantial meal.

Anyway my first strategy is to try to do better on the water and then make sure if I crave fruit I'm not subbing it for a meal if that's what I need. Not sure if this makes sense or if anybody else has any similar experience. I've always believed fresh fruit is a really wonderful part of eating healthfully but enough is enough and it feels vaguely out of control want to fix that and come up with a more balanced nutrition. I don't tend to want other carbs much so I don't have a lot of bread, pasta, rice, potatoes but lots of carbs from fruit.

CindySunshine
03-12-2014, 08:17 AM
One more thing, I ran across this post from the Tribole and Risch Intuitive eating site and thought it a really wonderful way to break out of those low days!


Self-fulfilling Prophecy & Intuitive Eating

Posted by angie o on March 3, 2014 at 6:25pm in Introduce Yourself to the Intuitive Eating Community

"Charles Duhigg, describes how philosopher William James suffered a long bout of self-doubt and depression, including thoughts of suicide.

Two months later, James made a decision. Before doing anything rash, he would conduct a yearlong experiment. He would spend twelve months believing that he had control over himself and his destiny, that he could become better, that he had the free will to change. There was no proof that it was true. But he would free himself to believe, all evidence to the contrary, that change was possible... ‘I will assume for the present—until next year—that it is no illusion. My first act of free will shall be to believe in free will.'

Over the next year, he practiced every day. In his diary, he wrote as if his control over himself and his choices was never in question…

Later he would famously write that the will to believe is the most important ingredient in creating belief in change. And that one of the most important methods for creating that belief was habits. Habits, he noted, are what allow us to “do a thing with difficulty the first time, but soon do it more and more easily, and finally, with sufficient practice, do it semi-mechanically, or with hardly any consciousness at all.” Once we choose who we want to be, people grow “to the way in which they have been exercised, just as a sheet of paper or a coat, once creased or folded, tends to fall forever afterward into the same identical folds.”

If you believe you can change—if you make it a habit—the change becomes real. This is the real power of habit: the insight that your habits are what you choose them to be. Once that choice occurs—and becomes automatic—it’s not only real, it starts to seem inevitable..."

For the past twelve days I haven't been in the best place intuitive eating-wise. It started the Saturday 9 days ago. I'd gone home for the weekend after a stressful week of exams. That stress, combined with the girl scout cookies my sister had purchased, plus being at home (binging on cookies while at home during holidays is something I've been doing since I was ten, so it was a pretty triggering situation), just didn't mix well, and I ended up overeating a lot that weekend.

I tried to shake that lingering sense of "failure" over the following week but it persisted no matter what I did. It felt really tough for me to continue eating intuitively like I had been a few days prior. Now, I felt more anxious about food, diet-like thoughts were becoming more frequent, and my eating was becoming more and more haphazard as a result.

Today was probably the height of it. I ate a ton, to the point of discomfort, and then even more. But what was the most disturbing were my thought patterns. Before and during today's binge eating, all I could say with certainty was that I felt discouraged & indifferent. My thoughts were all along the lines of, "There's no point. You're just going to fail again. If you don't binge now you're really just resisting the inevitable. Just give in. You're not a normal eater and you never will be."

After my binge, I came across the article that excerpt was from, and it spoke to me resoundingly. It reminded me that a few weeks ago, I experienced similar feelings & thoughts to the ones I'm having now, and I, too, did something similar to the man in the article. I didn't know exactly why I was feeling so negative & discouraged and helpless, and the more I thought about it the worse I felt. So instead, I decided to just pretend.

I told myself, alright. I currently feel negative, discouraged, and helpless. I don't feel like I'm capable of succeeding. But let me just pretend that I am capable. In fact, let me pretend, that at this present moment, I am 100% a normal eater. My relationship with food is pleasant and normal. I do eat when I'm hungry and cater to my emotional needs in other, non-harmful ways. I am confident and fearless around food, and eat whatever appeals to me with ease. I love and value myself & take care of myself at every opportunity.

I told myself I'd only pretend for the next 30 minutes, just to see if my mood would change, but my entire day turned around at that moment. And for the next week and a half, I embodied those exact words. At any given moment, whatever I imagined "normal eater me" would do, I'd do. It quickly began to feel natural, and effortless, exactly like the article said.

Until finding this article, and then re-reading my journal entries from that day, I had totally forgotten that such a thing - thinking myself out of my helplessness - was possible. Now I've been reminded that it IS. I invite any of you guys who might be struggling right now as well, to join me. You don't have to commit to a year like that guy did, or even a week. But just tell yourself for the next 30 minutes, that instead of focusing on what you're not, you'll mold your thoughts & actions to those of the confident, relaxed, normal eater you want to be. You'll not just "think positively" about where you are, but instead temporarily adopt the mindset that you already ARE where you want to be. And witness the changes happen.

SouthernMaven
03-13-2014, 09:05 AM
Good morning, everyone!

CountryLiving, I can't recommend highly enough that you get rid of the scale. Believe me, I know how hard it is. But it can be so disconcerting to get on it when you think you've lost weight and to see a gain. Ultimately it means nothing. So for me it became an instrument of torture. My life is so much better without it.

If you can't see your way clear to get rid of it altogether, perhaps you can promise yourself that you will only weigh once a month.

Locke and Wannabe, you are both so right - IE is most definitely a process! On a diet, we are programmed to feel like a failure every time we go "off plan," overeat or binge. In IE, everything we do that might otherwise make us feel like we failed is in reality a "teachable moment." We have to keep in mind that even those people we know who eat intuitively and have never struggled with weight sometimes eat when they are not hungry.

They aren't perfect in their eating patterns - why should we expect ourselves to be?

Cindy that was a GREAT article and definitely food for thought. It sort of reminded me of the "Just for Today" poem that a lot of 12-step programs use, which are wise words for everyone - regardless of their struggles.

Locke
03-13-2014, 11:56 AM
I had a set back yesterday. I came home from work and I was hungry. I had picked up a loaf of good bread and cheese at the store. I started eating bread, cheese, and honey for dinner. I reached the point of satisfied, but I still had one more piece of cheese that I had cut. "One more piece of cheese won't hurt"... but of course I had been eating cheese on top of bread with honey so I cut myself another piece of bread with honey... fast forward and I had eaten the last of the cheese and felt stuffed. Then I threw it up (I've struggled with bulimia before but not so much recently) because I felt sick and ashamed of how much I had eaten.

My thoughts immediately afterward were "Well, you can never eat cheese, honey, or bread again..." Then I stopped myself. I chose to keep eating even though I was no longer hungry. The type of food doesn't matter. I could just as easily have overeaten chicken and broccoli. I also tried to think about how I felt immediately afterward- sick to my stomach, too full, and heavy. I have enjoyed how light and alive I have felt recently. It's amazing how you can feel if you haven't stuffed yourself full of food. So anyway I hope this can be a learning experience going forward. I didn't eat anything for the rest of last night but I started again with IE this morning.

CindySunshine
03-13-2014, 01:17 PM
Locke it really does sound like last supper eating where you know the party will be over soon. Also once you start overeating I find it so hard to break out of. I get like carb frenzied and so out of control feeling after a few hours and that fear of hunger thing sets in? Before menopause I used to get migraine headaches and the only good thing about them was I would stop eating for the duration and it would break the over eating pattern. **** to pay and it was the ONLY good thing about migraines.

Does the pretending approach resonate with you at all? What I like about it as that gal said was it seems like something you could mentally handle when you feel weak and discouraged and hopeless. I'm sure if you over use it the impact would drop off, but might work to jump start through a bad day.

Wannabeskinny
03-13-2014, 01:33 PM
I had a set back yesterday. I came home from work and I was hungry. I had picked up a loaf of good bread and cheese at the store. I started eating bread, cheese, and honey for dinner. I reached the point of satisfied, but I still had one more piece of cheese that I had cut. "One more piece of cheese won't hurt"... but of course I had been eating cheese on top of bread with honey so I cut myself another piece of bread with honey... fast forward and I had eaten the last of the cheese and felt stuffed. Then I threw it up (I've struggled with bulimia before but not so much recently) because I felt sick and ashamed of how much I had eaten.

My thoughts immediately afterward were "Well, you can never eat cheese, honey, or bread again..." Then I stopped myself. I chose to keep eating even though I was no longer hungry. The type of food doesn't matter. I could just as easily have overeaten chicken and broccoli. I also tried to think about how I felt immediately afterward- sick to my stomach, too full, and heavy. I have enjoyed how light and alive I have felt recently. It's amazing how you can feel if you haven't stuffed yourself full of food. So anyway I hope this can be a learning experience going forward. I didn't eat anything for the rest of last night but I started again with IE this morning.

Boy have I been there. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with bulemia. Eating disorders are nothing to kid around about and all the low-carb, calorie counting, and "lfie style changes" don't help eliminating an ED. I do suggest finding someone to talk to, therapy can be very helpful as an outlet. In my experience it doesn't cure anything, but the outlet is indispensable.

Based on this post I would say that your approach to IE needs to be tweaked. We can only focus on one thing at a time and that thing for you should be to absolve yourself of the sins of eating. Stop trying to feel good about what you eat or how you eat. Create a distance of emotion from your behavior. Observe it, but don't judge it. You have nothing to feel guilty about, you ate some cheese some bread and some honey (YUM!!). You didn't cause WWIII, you did not hurt anyone or yourself, you did not steal money, you probably didn't even gain an ounce from it so stop making it such a big deal. We make every little choice into such a big deal and it's not. If you like what you're eating then deserve to feel ok after eating it. Take hold of that instead of guilt.

Yesterday for lunch I ate chips and dip. I loved every second of it. I don't feel about it, I also have ZERO interesting in eating that for lunch today. It's over. It happened. I liked it. So what? Now that I'm starting to have these responses to my eating (even binging) I feel much comfortable around food and eating less. You have to stop judging yourself so much, that's getting you nowhere. Love love love, accept accept accept, and you'll start to naturally feel less inclined to eat.

Locke
03-13-2014, 02:05 PM
@Wannabeskinny,

Yeah I definitely need to tweak my approach. This whole concept of "no foods are bad or good" is brand new to me. For my whole life I've been told to steer clear of certain foods- sodas, cookies, candies, pastries, burgers, fries, etc. because they will make me fat. I'm used to scowling when I see advertisements for chicken and waffles because they're dangerous, deadly foods that will give you diabetes. I'm just now learning that this whole idea is what has caused my poor relationship with food.

I'm actually quite happy with my ED behavior progress over the past few years. I've been working on the method from the book Brain Over Binge. I've seen therapists in the past for lots of different things- substance abuse, ED, self harm, etc. Therapy doesn't work that well for me- I find that I'm much more level headed when I'm not in therapy. Last night was a bit of a wake up call- it reminds me that I need to be very mindful when I eat- it didn't help that I was cramming food into my mouth while trying to play a video game with friends.

What happened last night wasn't a full on binge. When I eat in a totally uncontrolled bulimic way I can stuff thousands and thousands of calories into my stomach at a time. I honestly just overate a little bit. Since I started IE I don't let my stomach feel full- satisfaction happens before I can "feel" food in my stomach. I didn't feel absolutely stuffed like I have before- just the feeling of food in my stomach was enough for me to feel like I overate. I feel like this in itself is progress, even though my emotional reaction to it was not healthy.

I'm hopeful today- progress is happening. :)

Wannabeskinny
03-13-2014, 02:09 PM
@Wannabeskinny,

Yeah I definitely need to tweak my approach. This whole concept of "no foods are bad or good" is brand new to me. For my whole life I've been told to steer clear of certain foods- sodas, cookies, candies, pastries, burgers, fries, etc. because they will make me fat. I'm used to scowling when I see advertisements for chicken and waffles because they're dangerous, deadly foods that will give you diabetes. I'm just now learning that this whole idea is what has caused my poor relationship with food.

I'm actually quite happy with my ED behavior progress over the past few years. I've been working on the method from the book Brain Over Binge. I've seen therapists in the past for lots of different things- substance abuse, ED, self harm, etc. Therapy doesn't work that well for me- I find that I'm much more level headed when I'm not in therapy. Last night was a bit of a wake up call- it reminds me that I need to be very mindful when I eat- it didn't help that I was cramming food into my mouth while trying to play a video game with friends.

What happened last night wasn't a full on binge. When I eat in a totally uncontrolled bulimic way I can stuff thousands and thousands of calories into my stomach at a time. I honestly just overate a little bit. Since I started IE I don't let my stomach feel full- satisfaction happens before I can "feel" food in my stomach. I didn't feel absolutely stuffed like I have before- just the feeling of food in my stomach was enough for me to feel like I overate. I feel like this in itself is progress, even though my emotional reaction to it was not healthy.

I'm hopeful today- progress is happening. :)

Good I'm glad you're not letting this derail you.

We have to be watchful of how we judge ourselves when we eat. Just like we shouldn't punish ourselves with negativity when we eat "bad food" we should also be careful not to get smug when we eat a salad. That's just the other side of the coin. There's no need to teeter totter between good and bad, and in my case when I feel too good about what I've done then I always crash afterwards. Seriously I have no need to be patting myself on the back when I've eaten all my veggies, it's just food no matter what it's value.

Locke
03-13-2014, 05:58 PM
I've been doing much too much reading on 3FC today. There are so many people working so hard at losing weight. Counting all sorts of things, eating only at certain times, cutting out whole macronutrient groups. The wisdom of IE is so simple yet so opposite of the thinking that most people engage in when they're dieting. Eat when you're hungry. Stop when you're satisfied. I'm feeling grateful.

Wannabeskinny
03-14-2014, 11:20 AM
I stumbled across this early this morning so wanted to share it with all of you.

http://www.refinery29.com/the-anti-diet-project
(Scroll to the bottom of the page to start reading her posts from the beginning).

Looks like she started this project in November of last year. I haven't read all of it yet but what I have read certainly resonates with me.

I've also shared this under the thread http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/293423-ie-sadness-letting-go-diets-1.html#post4960969 in the Chicks in Control section.

After binge reading the whole blog I got up the nerve to contact the blogger's nutritionist. She responded and we had a very interesting phone conversation and I ended up making an appointment with her. I never thought of seeing a nutritionist before because I always assumed they would put me on a restrictive diet but it seems like she does not believe in diets and is a proponent of IE. I'm super nervous wish me luck!

Locke
03-14-2014, 12:45 PM
After binge reading the whole blog I got up the nerve to contact the blogger's nutritionist. She responded and we had a very interesting phone conversation and I ended up making an appointment with her. I never thought of seeing a nutritionist before because I always assumed they would put me on a restrictive diet but it seems like she does not believe in diets and is a proponent of IE. I'm super nervous wish me luck!

That's so awesome! Let us know how it went. I actually searched for IE nutritionists in my area but there aren't any that are close to my side of the bay.

CindySunshine
03-14-2014, 12:57 PM
Wow is that cool. I can't wait to hear How it goes.

Wannabeskinny
03-14-2014, 01:06 PM
I guess this means I'm pretty serious about IE doesn't it. It sure is going to cost a pretty penny. I can't help but think of the hundreds if not thousands of dollars I've saved by not joining a gym or taking any classes and focusing my workout efforts at home from youtube videos or hitting the pavement outside. I'm worth it, no?

Locke
03-14-2014, 01:08 PM
I'm worth it, no?

Definitely. :yes:

Mad Donnelly
03-14-2014, 01:12 PM
Def. love a monthly IE thread. IE is probably the single-most helpful component of this last and final attempt of mine at being who I'd like to be. Largely because none of it had ever occurred to me before. Stop when full? Can it be? You mean I shouldn't eat as if I'm a bear preparing for hibernation? Why, I never heard of such a thing. LIGHT.BULB.

CountryLiving
03-14-2014, 05:07 PM
WannabeSkinny that is so great you'll get to meet with an IE nutritionist! Can't wait to hear how it goes for you!

Still working at being mindful. Really battled the diet mentality this week. Even resorted back to LC for one day only to tell myself again how it's crazy! It's so hard to "unlearn" things!

Barb

Locke
03-14-2014, 05:37 PM
WannabeSkinny that is so great you'll get to meet with an IE nutritionist! Can't wait to hear how it goes for you!

Still working at being mindful. Really battled the diet mentality this week. Even resorted back to LC for one day only to tell myself again how it's crazy! It's so hard to "unlearn" things!

Barb

Yeah I've been fighting that today. I've been really wanting to count calories, even though I feel great, sane, and have lost weight doing IE all week. Old habits die hard!

CindySunshine
03-14-2014, 06:47 PM
I love the commitment to resolving the food issue once and for all what a milestone for the future. You have come a long way already, Wannabe, from those early posts. Cheering you on and really looking forward to hearing about it.

carolr3639
03-14-2014, 07:51 PM
I'm super nervousYou'll do fine.

Wannabeskinny
03-14-2014, 10:18 PM
Thank you all for the support and encouragement **blush*** I'll be share to share anything valuable I learn.

SouthernMaven
03-15-2014, 09:44 AM
I'm late to the thread, but wow, Wannabe! That is incredible news.

Good for you for taking that step. I think we will ALL be interested in hearing about what this nutritionist has to say about IE.

Congratulations!

Locke
03-16-2014, 02:26 PM
I realize a few people here have banished the scale, but I just wanted to share that I lost 5lbs this week doing IE. This is the longest I've ever stuck with it without switching to a "diet". I guess I didn't believe that I could listen to my body and lose weight. I can feel my mind starting to change in the way that I approach food. I didn't eat breakfast yesterday because I wasn't hungry- the impulse to eat breakfast was there but I listened to my body. I can separate that "want to eat" feeling from hunger now. Before it all felt the same, now I realize I feel like I want to eat a lot but I'm not truly hungry that much.

My eating patterns have changed. Instead of three big meals a day I find that I would rather just have a small amount of food every 3-4 hours. "Dinner" last night was a protein bar at 6pm and a piece of cornbread at 9pm- I had a good sized lunch at an Indian food restaurant with meat, soup, salad, and rice. I ate the meat and salad but I didn't feel like eating the rice. My house is full of food of all sorts- treats, healthy, in-between, etc... but I found that I was just craving a protein bar for dinner. *Shrugs*.

My dinners are simpler than they used to be, too. I used to think meat + vegetables + carbohydrate was necessary to make a full and healthful meal. Now I find that I'd rather just have a piece of bread, a yogurt, or a bowl of cereal. I don't like feeling full anymore- I like to just make the hunger go away. I've found myself fuller at a few meals than I'd like to be but then it just takes longer for me to get hungry later. I'm still having obsessive thoughts about food but I've been having those for twenty years and I figure it will take more than a week for them to go away.

Guys, I'm really really happy today. Thanks for everything.

SouthernMaven
03-16-2014, 02:36 PM
Guys, I'm really really happy today. Thanks for everything.

That says it all, Locke! Congratulations on the weight loss and more importantly, on your ability to avoid the dreaded "diet pull." It sounds as if you are really getting in touch with what your body truly needs.

I like what you said about not eating breakfast, because - next to the anti-carb freakazoids - nothing can get me going like those who insist that you MUST eat breakfast - and what they mean by that is that you should eat within an hour of waking.

In reality, breakfast is the first meal you eat after waking, regardless of what time it is or what it is that you eat. It is break-fast, after all. :dizzy: I wish the so-called "experts" would get that through their heads.

Locke
03-16-2014, 02:57 PM
I like what you said about not eating breakfast, because - next to the anti-carb freakazoids - nothing can get me going like those who insist that you MUST eat breakfast - and what they mean by that is that you should eat within an hour of waking.

Haha I know exactly what you mean. I read an article on a weight loss website about the 10 habits of thin people. I thought that it might contain some intuitive eating insights- nope. Thin people EAT BREAKFAST. Thin people EAT HIGH PROTEIN SNACKS. It was the same diet advice that you see everywhere, just written like it's what thin people do.

I may be fat but I've had my share of thin relatives and friends. You know what thin people don't do? They don't eat when they're not hungry. They don't eat HIGH PROTEIN SNACKS, they eat whatever the **** they are hungry for. My roommate weighs 85 pounds- she eats one meal per day, usually chicken nuggets or cereal.

Most truly thin people I know who don't count calories don't eat healthy at all. They eat candy, chicken nuggets, french fries, frosting, and chips. They eat whatever the heck they want and then stop eating when they're done. You know who eats high protein snacks at extremely frequent intervals? Fat people who are trying to get thin. I've never known a naturally thin person who eats low carb. Only fat people eat tons of cheese and meat thinking they are doing themselves a favor.

CindySunshine
03-16-2014, 03:25 PM
Cheering you on Locke!

Wannabeskinny
03-17-2014, 10:52 AM
Wow, are you me? I could have written this post myself. It's awesome to see someone coming to terms with their eating self. Making a break from the food police is thrilling. Kudos!

I realize a few people here have banished the scale, but I just wanted to share that I lost 5lbs this week doing IE. This is the longest I've ever stuck with it without switching to a "diet". I guess I didn't believe that I could listen to my body and lose weight. I can feel my mind starting to change in the way that I approach food. I didn't eat breakfast yesterday because I wasn't hungry- the impulse to eat breakfast was there but I listened to my body. I can separate that "want to eat" feeling from hunger now. Before it all felt the same, now I realize I feel like I want to eat a lot but I'm not truly hungry that much. Crucial! Learning to decipher between mouth hunger and stomach hunger and the need to eat vs. the want to eat is a beautiful step. It's also a skill that can't be unlearned, like riding a bike. You can hone your skill, make it stronger and have it be a useful tool throughout your life. This is the skill that will make a different LONG TERM, not diet tips!

My eating patterns have changed. Instead of three big meals a day I find that I would rather just have a small amount of food every 3-4 hours. "Dinner" last night was a protein bar at 6pm and a piece of cornbread at 9pm- I had a good sized lunch at an Indian food restaurant with meat, soup, salad, and rice. I ate the meat and salad but I didn't feel like eating the rice. My house is full of food of all sorts- treats, healthy, in-between, etc... but I found that I was just craving a protein bar for dinner. *Shrugs*. I can totally identify with this. In fact it feels a little chaotic. To eat or not to eat. But it's not dinner time, but I had a big lunch, these have all become such different points to consider now.

My dinners are simpler than they used to be, too. I used to think meat + vegetables + carbohydrate was necessary to make a full and healthful meal. Now I find that I'd rather just have a piece of bread, a yogurt, or a bowl of cereal. I don't like feeling full anymore- I like to just make the hunger go away. I've found myself fuller at a few meals than I'd like to be but then it just takes longer for me to get hungry later. I'm still having obsessive thoughts about food but I've been having those for twenty years and I figure it will take more than a week for them to go away. I too am still having obsessive thoughts about food. I'm noticing the food signals around me, I pass by Wendy's and I think of those little chicken nuggets and it makes me salivate. I run into a friend eating a bagel and I want one too. I think about when I will eat next and what I will eat. I do hope that subsides. I still feel guilt over eating carbs. Sometimes I tally up my calories at the end of the day. It's hard to unlearn that stuff.

Guys, I'm really really happy today. Thanks for everything.

Wannabeskinny
03-17-2014, 11:05 AM
Later this week I will be meeting with the nutritionist that was featured in the Anti-Diet Project that SouthernMaven posted. We spoke on the phone and she sent me some preliminary work to complete before our first meeting. It includes a questionnaire about my self-nurturing habits (like do I sleep 7-9hrs a night and do I spend time with people I enjoy, do I watch more than 2hrs of tv a day etc). I also have to keep a food log and have to write down the time, food/portion, my level of hunger 1-5 and my level of fullness post meal 6-10. I also have to write my assessment of what I ate in terms of my self/talk, food rules, rationalizations and emotions at the time of eating.

Furthermore I've taken it upon myself to approach my immediate good friends and family to ask them about what their sense of hunger feels like. Since I've been trying to discern it myself and sometimes get stuck between the sense of true hunger vs the compulsion to eat and I need all the help I can get in understanding this thing.

I know I've said this before but I'm so glad I've found IE. Trying to curb my appetite and follow dieting rules always felt like hitting my head against a wall and it always left me unsatisfied and naturally I care about myself much too much to allow myself to to be unsatisfied. I finally feel like I'm working with my true self rather than against myself. I'm finally working on the source of my disordered eating and realizing that I AM the solution, no revolutionary diet will ever get credit for fixing me lol.

Locke
03-17-2014, 12:57 PM
Good morning,

@Wannabe- I'm way excited for you. It's courageous to ask your friends and family those questions.

Last night I realized that I had no idea what I was going to eat for lunch today. Before I always planned my meals out ahead of time, even if I wasn't dieting because part of me was always looking forward to when I could eat again (because I couldn't because my stomach was too full). I usually cook on Sundays for lunches for the week. I don't know how I became so worried that I wouldn't get enough to eat if I didn't plan for it. Last night it was late and I realized I hadn't cooked any food for the week because I hadn't thought of what I was going to eat this week.

I also noticed that my experience with food is starting to change. Last night I had a piece of chocolate after dinner- it was just a piece of chocolate. The thrill of eating something forbidden is gone. I would say the experience was "meh". The piece of chocolate was kind of bland and salty. The bagel I ate this morning was just... a bagel. Lol. I can see now how it's possible to eat healthy and still follow your body's cues. I was more excited about the mandarin orange that I ate with lunch than I was about the chocolate. It tasted better. This is a strange experience.

P.S.- I changed my avatar because I'm trying to get away from the idea that I'm on a "weight loss journey". I'm trying to find myself and love my body unconditionally. This is about finding who I truly am, and my former avatar was representative of my former dieting paradigm.

CountryLiving
03-18-2014, 10:15 AM
Locke ... you're giving me hope!

Wannabeskinny
03-18-2014, 11:17 AM
Sounds like you're on a role Locke, nice work!

Something I've realized from another thread is that with IE I no longer feel the pull of starting over. It's just one decision at a time, being mindful before/during/after I eat, releasing my debt to guilt and proceeding as if it's just food and nothing more. I don't feel the need to hanker down on monday morning to make up for whatever I ate over the weekend. I don't feel like I need to hurry and lose a few pounds before summer! (though wouldn't it be nice?), there's no time table, no pressure, no guilt. Just one meal at a time, assessing how I felt afterwards and that's it.

Remarkably this also leave me a lot of time to think about other important things like my kid, my job, my business, my hubby, my friends, shopping, exercising, etc!

Locke
03-18-2014, 12:43 PM
Today I've been struggling with wanting to do calorie restriction. I don't think I've been eating enough for the past day or so. I definitely went to bed hungry last night and was tossing/turning all night. It's also that TOM which usually means that I need to take in more food because my metabolism goes up. My hunger last night was weird- my stomach didn't empty but I definitely feel irritable, low energy, etc. This morning I felt a little bit more energy and still no stomach hunger but I know that achey/weak feeling means that I need food. I really didn't feel like eating anything, though and I really want to push through the hunger. *Shrugs*

Wannabeskinny
03-19-2014, 10:39 AM
Pushing through hunger can be useful sometimes but only in order to learn what it really feels like. Otherwise, what's the point? For me anyway, too much hunger can and has led to binges.

Has anyone ever not felt like being mindful? Do you allow yourselves these times? The day before yesterday was really hectic and I remained mindful about eating the entire day. It was quite an unfulfilling day food-wise because I was on the run, on the road, and had a lot to deal with at home and at work. So my food intake consisted mainly of snacks all day. A banana here, a handful of nuts, a few bites of my salad that I didn't have time finish, a couple of pretzels, half a sandwich I didn't have time to eat most of, etc. all day I was on a little verge of hunger but never ravenous or starving.

So the next day when I had some time for a proper lunch I told myself "I'm just going to eat, no restrictions!" I sat down to a big corned beef and coleslaw sandwich on a bun with a handful of chips. I tried not to zone out while eating and quite enjoyed it. I finished all the food. Afterwards I did not feel guilty, I did not feel overly stuffed, I felt full and satisfied. I didn't think about food again until 6hrs later when it was dinner time and had a completely mindful and healthy dinner of grilled chicken and roasted veggies.

The sandwich fiasco, it was not a binge. It was perhaps a little break from the constant emotional deprivation I felt the previous day in terms of food intake. Though I didn't spend my day entirely hungry, I was never really full or felt especially nourished. All in all my whole lunch was probably only around 600cal (I still tally up calories at the end of the day in a general sense) and I was still well below an acceptable amount for the day and it did not lead to further bouts of food intake. So what do you think about this phenomenon, it was not a binge, but a solid I'M GOING TO EAT NOW AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA STOP ME sort of feeling.

CindySunshine
03-19-2014, 12:37 PM
Wannabe I think what you did was absolutely normal soulful satisfaction eating and to be applauded! Then you waited until your body had enjoyed and digested it before eating again. That is what it's all about. I did so,etching very similar with a chicken salad sandwich on grilled white with provolone and tomato a few weeks ago. Ate and savored every single bite, didn't feel guilty as a matter of fact felt totally energetic all afternoon.

In the past after an overeating day guidance would be to get "back on track" so I felt like I should eat whatever breakfast I was supposed to when the body rightfully can adjust by waiting a bit for the next meal. It's natural.

Last night I had eaten and was getting a drink out of the fridge and staring at me was the box of French macarons my son had brought for the family weekend. I selected one and just enjoyed it completely, went to bed no desire to touch any more. That felt normal and natural as well.

CountryLiving
03-19-2014, 02:26 PM
Well right at this moment I'm really struggling. I just ate a satisfying lunch and am not hungry but there is a bag of Resces chocolate eggs in the kitchen and it is taking some white knuckling not to devour it. I allowed myself one and it was good. I am giving myself permission to go eat them but honestly I know I could eat the whole bag while being mindful. Ughhh. It's times like this I resort back to LC because cutting out sugar takes away cravings but in return gives me a deprivation feeling. Never ending battle

Barb

CindySunshine
03-19-2014, 05:58 PM
CountryLiving for what it's worth I did get off sugar and carbs a couple weeks before embarking on IE. I know it not what the book recommends but I feel stronger and more in control and was ready for IE at that point. I had been overeating on crunchy snacks, sugar, nuts, and too much wine and really went clean to protein and vegetables and fruit and when I hit a point a few weeks later ,, then I re-read the IE book and was very ready for it.

I would have a very hard time with a bag of Reese's eggs on the counter, too. Hope you made it through with some measure of success one way or the other.

Locke
03-20-2014, 01:59 PM
I've been home sick the last few days and it has really derailed the pattern I had gotten into with IE at work. I am still feeling guilt in relation to what I am eating, like I feel fat when I eat bacon and feel skinny when I eat salad or fruit. I've also been struggling with the urge to get back on a diet. /sigh. I also think my body is struggling with the deprivation from not eating enough for a few days. I had a big lunch yesterday and only had a few pieces of candy in the evening. I am sick and it's also throwing me off because I usually go by how "well" a meal makes me feel. So yeah I'm frustrated right now. I don't know whether I am hungry or not a the moment. I also threw out a bunch of candy in a rage because I was angry at myself for eating them. Growing pains? Maybe.

Wannabeskinny
03-21-2014, 10:28 AM
I had a very long meeting yesterday with the nutritional therapist I told you all about and found out some depressing things. She asked some prying questions and I was surprised at the answers I gave out loud. I must have sounded completely crazy. The words "normal people" surfaced quite a bit. When I was asked to describe "normal people" who eat my answers sounded bizarre even to me. Apparently I think normal people don't actually eat, that they're selfish because they take in food at the first sign of hunger, and that I fee resentment towards them because they don't want to eat as much as I do. Ugh, I can't tell you how pathetic I feel.

I felt like I got more done in one appointment than I did in 2yrs of therapy. She cut to the chase and speculated that I have a difficult time nurturing myself and that I'm afraid to be hungry because I don't deserve to nurture myself or something like that. I'm totally sad. It's a lot to take in, and when I got home and took a look at the itemized bill she gave me it was right there in black and white : Eating Disorder, non specified. She was able to read into my food log and see patterns I hadn't seen, like I don't allow myself to get truly full, and that on days that I eat a big breakfast I eat less throughout the day. And apparently I'm my own carb police judging by the amount of scolding I put myself through every time I eat a freaking potato.

The good news is that she thinks that I'm making a lot of progress already with Intuitive Eating. She thinks I'm doing the right thing to try to foster my hunger signals because she agrees with me that my hunger/fullness is a completely broken system. She is urging me for the next 3 days to eat eat eat with complete abandon, go to Disneyland and eat 27 funnel cakes if that's what I fancy. Beyond the 3 days I have to eat a good full breakfast and continue eating mindfully.

She expressed excitement, she thinks I'm doing really well. But I feel like crap. I am hopeful though and I want to break through my ED once and for all.

CindySunshine
03-21-2014, 01:57 PM
Wow Wannabe. You are so brave to push through all this and I am so glad you are on your way. Did this nutrition gal give you any kind of background on how common the issues are? I suspect very if she popped them right off like that.

Locke
03-21-2014, 04:26 PM
Wannabe I feel so close to you, I just wanted you to know that. I've been reading Overcoming Overeating for the last day or so and I've found that I do the same things. I haven't been honoring my hunger but trying to push through it. What your therapist recommended is exactly what the authors of OO recommend. I've been trying to mimic how thin women eat- I'm 375 pounds of muscle, bone, and fat. If I tried to eat like a skinny person I'd go crazy! What I'm trying to do right now is to honor my hunger and cravings- I just ate chocolate ice cream at 11am- after eating yogurt and berries at 10am. I was hungry for it and it feel great right now- truly free.

I'm trying to nurture myself. I was caught by surprise when you were talking about how angry, lonely, frustrated, etc. that you feel. You have a husband, a baby, and live in NYC. I looked at your life and was jealous because I'm single and childless. The truth is that even if I magically had everything I wanted it wouldn't stop my self hatred. That isn't caused by stuff outside, but by stuff inside. Instead of feeling angry or fat because I ate ice cream I'm trying to look at it as what it is- I'm working on undoing all the damage of dieting and self loathing that I've experienced during my 27 years of life.

I'm going to do what OO and your therapist recommends. I'm giving up the scale, giving up the diet mentality completely. I'm going to work on loving my body and sucking the marrow out of life. Life is too ****ing short to worry and push myself about losing weight. I'm going to focus on the process and not the results. Don't feel bad about yourself- IE isn't a diet you can fail. Love yourself and honor your body's signals. Tell your brain to shut up! :)

P.S. - OO has this to say about 'normal': "We define 'normal' as eating when you're hungry, what you're hungry for, and stopping when you've had enough." It seems entirely based on you and your body rather than anybody else. Hope this helps.

Wannabeskinny
03-22-2014, 09:48 AM
Wow Wannabe. You are so brave to push through all this and I am so glad you are on your way. Did this nutrition gal give you any kind of background on how common the issues are? I suspect very if she popped them right off like that.

I feel anything but normal... that's the whole problem. I have this big secret that I can't let on in the world.

I'm totally out of my comfort zone, and the meeting with the nutritionist was definitely a trigger of some sort. I'm out of sorts, like I've lost my equilibrium for the moment. I know I'll get out of that and be fine, but it's a sudden earthquake in an emotional sense. I'm just trying to find my footing. She told me to eat with abandon for at least 3 days and suddenly I don't know how to do that. I kind of don't feel like eating at all. Am I supposed to binge? I guess I'll email her to clarify. Eating with abandon means what exactly? To me it means going out for secret binges. Does she mean eat in broad daylight for my friends and family to witness? I'm uncomfortable.

So yesterday I decided to honor this by eating exactly what I wanted when I wanted. I wanted 2 donuts. This has secretely been a binge pleasure, I pick up the donuts and eat them in private. But yesterday I went into the dunkin donuts and ordered my 2 donuts and ate them right there. I can't tell you how many fears about this I had. My mind immediately thought that everyone would judge me. That I have no right to be eating donuts. That everyone would know that I'm an..... EATER! And they would judge me. But I did it. I went in and ordered a lemon donut and a boston kreme. And some guy standing next to me said "boston kreme is the best." It ignited terror in me that he said that. I was noticed! I was caught! But I went on with it. I sat down and ate my 2 donuts and it was good. They were very fresh. Afterwards I looked around and saw a bunch of people sitting around eating donuts and coffee. Lots of women too. I didn't feel amazing, but at least I didn't feel like an alien, I doubt anyone actually judged me. I judged myself. It was good. I wasn't hungry for anything else the rest of the night but I ate anyway, because I thought I had to.

Wannabeskinny
03-22-2014, 09:51 AM
Wannabe I feel so close to you, I just wanted you to know that. I've been reading Overcoming Overeating for the last day or so and I've found that I do the same things. I haven't been honoring my hunger but trying to push through it. What your therapist recommended is exactly what the authors of OO recommend. I've been trying to mimic how thin women eat- I'm 375 pounds of muscle, bone, and fat. If I tried to eat like a skinny person I'd go crazy! What I'm trying to do right now is to honor my hunger and cravings- I just ate chocolate ice cream at 11am- after eating yogurt and berries at 10am. I was hungry for it and it feel great right now- truly free.

I'm trying to nurture myself. I was caught by surprise when you were talking about how angry, lonely, frustrated, etc. that you feel. You have a husband, a baby, and live in NYC. I looked at your life and was jealous because I'm single and childless. The truth is that even if I magically had everything I wanted it wouldn't stop my self hatred. That isn't caused by stuff outside, but by stuff inside. Instead of feeling angry or fat because I ate ice cream I'm trying to look at it as what it is- I'm working on undoing all the damage of dieting and self loathing that I've experienced during my 27 years of life.

I'm going to do what OO and your therapist recommends. I'm giving up the scale, giving up the diet mentality completely. I'm going to work on loving my body and sucking the marrow out of life. Life is too ****ing short to worry and push myself about losing weight. I'm going to focus on the process and not the results. Don't feel bad about yourself- IE isn't a diet you can fail. Love yourself and honor your body's signals. Tell your brain to shut up! :)

P.S. - OO has this to say about 'normal': "We define 'normal' as eating when you're hungry, what you're hungry for, and stopping when you've had enough." It seems entirely based on you and your body rather than anybody else. Hope this helps.

An eating disorder can afflict anyone, even a married mother living in the most exciting city on the planet. Problems are everywhere and in everyone. It's easy to look at someone and think they've got it all, but that person is looking at someone else and thinking the exact same thing. We're all miniscule and plagued by our own demons. L'Wren Scott had a great career, a famous boyfriend, lots of money and was a model. She committed suicide. No matter what we have, we all have to live within the confines of our inner selves and those look alike more than what our outsides do.

CountryLiving
03-22-2014, 11:58 AM
WOW Wannabeskinny! Please know you are not alone in your feelings at all. Your posts are soooo my thoughts exactly. I pat you on the back for being able to eat those donuts in public because at this point that is something I could not do. My mentality...they are a forbidden food that fat people should not be eating....if I eat one I should do it privately because I don't "deserve" one. Yeah, I have a lot of issues as well.

Thank you sooo much for posting how your meeting went. It's so good to know I am not alone. This IE stuff is hard work for sure!

Barb

Locke
03-22-2014, 05:01 PM
I wasn't hungry for breakfast today. For lunch I ate homemade antipasto salad with salami, prosciutto, and mozzarella. Then half an hour later I realized I was still hungry so I ate a bowl of fruit loops. I'm learning that my body is a weirdo, lol.

The scale says I lost weight this week. A lot of weight. I was shocked. I'm not making weight loss a priority, I'm just trying to feed myself mindfully and listen to my body. I guess that even though I'm satisfied I'm eating a lot less than I used to. I don't feel like I'm eating less; I feel like I'm pigging out because I'm eating "fat" foods... but I must be eating less. So yeah this is wonderful and I'm trying to be kind to myself and love my body. It's hard but I think it's worth it.

CinnamonApples
03-23-2014, 07:23 AM
Hi all! One more girl in the club :) I am new to 3FC and Intuitive Eating. I have experimented with it before, but never stuck with it. I used to approach it more like a legal way of binging and overeating than a lifetime change. But, I am back for good. I stocked up with lots of restricted foods for the first time in...well many years. Previously, I would throw everything out after the binge was over and promise myself to never do it again. I guess, you've been there too. Anyway, my first few days were not very good - I was eating cookies for breakfast, sweets for lunch and deserts after a meal when I already felt full. I hope it is just a phase and I will soon get over it. I have been spending a lot of time at home recently, which does not help, but will be back to work in a week and then I know that the routine will help me. I made a mistake yesterday - I had a glass of wine with dinner and then another one and another one... Not only it increases my appetite, it also makes me more likely to binge the next day. And so today I started with breakfast of mango, cookies, halva and some trail mix. Definitely ate too much, but I am trying not to beat myself and just wait until I get hungry. In theory I should simply not get hungry for longer. The hard part is to actually stay calm and not start eating because it is time for lunch or just because I want to. Wish me luck :)

CindySunshine
03-23-2014, 08:53 AM
Good morning ladies. I have been doing a fair amount of surfing and ran into another very interesting blog on the IE topic. I can't post links but you can search on the gal and find it Isabel Foxen Duke is her name. With all the discussion on what is "normal" here is her take in it extracted from the blog entries...

What does “normal” eating even mean?



So the first question that usually comes out of people’s mouths when I say the phrase “normal eating,” is something along the lines of “what does ‘normal’ eating even mean?”

Like, most of us “get” that there are people in the world who
don’t really think about food,
and just eat what they want,
and naturally end up eating an “appropriate” amount food without really trying,
because they don’t really care about food that much to begin with.

but we don’t understand how.

“What are they doing that I’m not?!”
“I don’t understand people like that!”

It took me a really long time to understand and emulate “normal eaters,” and that’s because I was approaching “trying to be normal” in all the wrong ways.

I was trying to control myself, trying to do something different with food, trying to “eat when hungry and stop when full” or whatever other way I was trying to “do” normal eating.

But the reality of the situation is, “normies” aren’t doing “normal eating.”
There’s no “way” they’re eating, that you haven’t heard of before.
There’s no “trick” they’re employing, that you’ve never heard of.

They’re not doing anything.

“Normal eating” isn’t something a person does, it’s something a person thinks. Furthermore, “normal eating” is not defined by how or what a person eats, but rather, by how one feels about themselves.

If you’re “okay” with how you’re eating, how you’re eating is “okay.”
Conversely, If you’re “not okay” with how you’re eating, how you’re eating becomes “not okay.”

(And we all know what happens when we cross that line of “not okay.” All **** seems to break loose.)

The point is, it’s how you feel about what you’re eating that makes the difference, not what you’re eating in and of itself.

When you judge your performance around food — when you decided that there’s an imaginary line in the sand where “okay” ends, and “not okay” begins — you will inevitably cross that line, and probably lose your ****.

“Normies” don’t have a line to cross. If they eat a big dinner, they eat a big dinner. No big deal. If they have a cupcake in the middle of the day for no reason, they eat a cupcake and move on with their lives. If they eat an entire bag of chips in a sitting, they eat the bag and then think “ughg I need water,” and get over it.

What they eat has NO bearing on their self-esteem. It means nothing.

THAT is the difference between “Normies” and Emotional Eaters — it’s not what their doing, it’s how they feel about what their doing.

Wannabeskinny
03-23-2014, 09:36 AM
Welcome CinnamonApples, I hope you find the support you're looking for here.

Thanks for posting that blog CindySunshine, it's here http://isabelfoxenduke.com/ and I'll scope it out myself today :)

CountryLiving
03-23-2014, 10:02 AM
Glad to have you here CinnamonApples. It's a wealth of info and so nice not to feel alone in our thoughts and feelings.

Great post CindySunshine. Something to think about for sure.

Barb

Locke
03-23-2014, 01:17 PM
Welcome CinnamonApples. When you eat meals are you doing so in a distraction free environment? I find it is much harder to overeat when I am simply eating my food and enjoying it- slowly and mindfully.

CinnamonApples
03-23-2014, 04:22 PM
Thank you all for welcoming me :) I am glad I decided to join!

@Locke - I am working on that. I do have a tendency to eat in front of my laptop, but I am trying to stop doing that and just focus on the food. Usually it is much better when I am very busy and don't have much time to munch all day long, but whenever I am alone and especially if I have to do something I don't like, I opt for eating. Then eating without distractions is still better than doing something boring. Well, not that it is really better, just more pleasurable in that moment. Funny how awareness is not enough to change one's behaviour. Isn't it silly? Knowing what is best for you and still not doing it? Rhetorical question :)

Locke
03-23-2014, 06:40 PM
Thank you all for welcoming me :) I am glad I decided to join!

@Locke - I am working on that. I do have a tendency to eat in front of my laptop, but I am trying to stop doing that and just focus on the food. Usually it is much better when I am very busy and don't have much time to munch all day long, but whenever I am alone and especially if I have to do something I don't like, I opt for eating. Then eating without distractions is still better than doing something boring. Well, not that it is really better, just more pleasurable in that moment. Funny how awareness is not enough to change one's behaviour. Isn't it silly? Knowing what is best for you and still not doing it? Rhetorical question :)

Yes I've been home for the last several days because I haven't been feeling well. I've also been trying to make revisions to my master's thesis. It's amazing how thoughts of candy bars and ice cream can distract me from my work. Yes, writing always feels a little bit better with chocolate ice cream but then again what doesn't? For me it's hardest when I'm just getting a little bit hungry. When I'm satisfied I don't find the fact that there are chocolates and snacks around distracting but when I'm just getting a little bit hungry I keep having to think "Am I hungry now? Is this just mouth hunger? My tummy just gurgled and I want chocolate but I don't know..." etc. etc. I've also been finding that my body doesn't feel good when I eat too much sugar. Sure that bowl of chocolate ice cream hits the spot now but then a little while later I can feel my heart start to beat faster from the sugar and I just don't feel well. It's like I'm a toddler and learning how to eat all over again. Baby steps!

CinnamonApples
03-23-2014, 07:21 PM
Yes I've been home for the last several days because I haven't been feeling well. I've also been trying to make revisions to my master's thesis. It's amazing how thoughts of candy bars and ice cream can distract me from my work. Yes, writing always feels a little bit better with chocolate ice cream but then again what doesn't? For me it's hardest when I'm just getting a little bit hungry. When I'm satisfied I don't find the fact that there are chocolates and snacks around distracting but when I'm just getting a little bit hungry I keep having to think "Am I hungry now? Is this just mouth hunger? My tummy just gurgled and I want chocolate but I don't know..." etc. etc. I've also been finding that my body doesn't feel good when I eat too much sugar. Sure that bowl of chocolate ice cream hits the spot now but then a little while later I can feel my heart start to beat faster from the sugar and I just don't feel well. It's like I'm a toddler and learning how to eat all over again. Baby steps!


I swear I could have written this! I am also working on my thesis! And the sugar part too. I hate how I feel when I eat sugar. Sleepy, anxious, heart racing... awful! Yet somehow not bad enough to put me off for good. I did quit sugar before, but recently started to binge and then...well, here I am :) The more I eat it the more I want, but I am afraid to say no now, because it would be a restriction and we all know how restrictions end. Just need to focus how good it feels to eat well and how bad it feels to eat poorly so that we Want to eat well instead of trying to eat well, because that's what we Should do. Hang in there sister! :)

Locke
03-23-2014, 09:04 PM
@Cinnamon

Yes I'm starting to find that the "mouth" cravings that I get aren't my body telling me what it needs. I've been having mouth cravings for chocolate all day (chocolate raspberry jelly sticks in particular, omg). The true needs are so much more subtle and nonspecific. I was hungry just a few minutes ago and I thought about different sorts of foods and combinations. I got stuck on two roasted chicken breasts (leftovers from another meal) and a little bit of cottage cheese. Cottage cheese or chicken alone wouldn't have done the trick. I guess I needed some more fat and protein- this makes sense because I've been eating a TON of carbs lately. Last night for dinner I had a big bowl of mixed vegetables. So it seems like things are balancing out over time.

Wannabeskinny
03-24-2014, 11:19 AM
After some food journaling for the past week my nutrition therapist has concluded that I don't allow myself to get full. Perhaps I'm still not quite sure what fullness is supposed to mean or what is the right amount of fullness. But apparently I'm not getting full enough, especially at breakfast and when I don't eat a good hardy breakfast I set myself up for overeating the rest of the day. So I'm currently working on having a good breakfast... GOOD = enjoyable, plentiful and unrestricted. Wow, good used to mean something else entirely. I'm so good!

CountryLiving
03-24-2014, 01:06 PM
I put my scale away over the weekend. I have been weighing myself everyday, sometimes several times a day, for the past several months. It really determines my mood and how I'm going to eat for the day which is really crazy. It has me nervous not having it. I feel like I'm going to step on it one day and be completely shocked I weigh so much. Today I have felt like I have to be "good" so the scale will move in the right way. I know I'm looking at all this as weight loss but the thought of weighing more than I do has me scared. I am giving myself permission to weigh 1x/week. It's so crazy how a scale and a stupid number can really rule your life.

Over the weekend I tried sticking to just 3 meals/day. I got this idea after reading about the No S diet. (no snacks, no seconds, no sweets except on S days Sat Sun). Pretty much eat 3 good meals/day. I can't do the no sweets as it would stick me in deprivation mode but I am a grazing snacking queen! So I ate 3 full meals each day and it was interesting how I never got hungry between. I'm not going to be restrictive about it and if I was starving between I'd eat for sure but it really helps me judge whether I'm hungry or not.

Wannabeskinny...maybe I never eat until I'm completely full either but knowing I am only going to have 3 meals/day makes me eat a full meal.

Barb

CindySunshine
03-24-2014, 01:25 PM
Hey guys couple random thoughts this rainy Monday morning.

So just quick review I'm one of this yo-yo dieters who goes up and down 15 pounds all the time and like Southern Maven I turned 60 last year you would think by now I would have figured it out. I retired in December from a busy stressful career and really had the past 3 months to get my act together. I wasn't working and my husband goes back and forth to the Florida house so I had a fair amount of time to be able to be alone and get in touch with myself. Really my only goal since January has been to relax and get my eating and exercise in positive motion.

Anyway I'm two weeks from heading back north and feeling really good. I spent a couple weeks kind of getting myself off the holiday overeating cycle but after that turned to IE that had worked for me so well in the past. I read the Tribole book 15 years ago and had great success for about a year and then things got stressful and I gave up on it.

This time I have been taking care of my soul and doing things like yoga it has been a real improvement for me and when I am calm and present the rest of everything goes better.

I haven't weighed myself but I have dropped a couple sizes and can fit into all my favorite clothes again. I went shopping the other day and went through my classic wishing I was a few pounds thinner dressing room ritual, but I have absolutely resisted the urge to restrict eating. And the draw was so there to do it but darn it I am much happier at this sustainable size and refuse to go back to the yo-yo place. If the darn styles would just get rid of this skinny jeans thing it would help!

I really love good healthy food and I like to cook (plus we have a big vegetable garden in our house in Illinois). It helps me a lot rather than focusing on restricting eating to relish eating so I regularly peruse recipe sites like Epicurious going through the healthy recipes and add a half dozen things that look good to my recipe box and make sure I have ingredients for a couple of them. Then I make something really good and sit down with a pretty plate and enjoy it. If I don't eat a meal and sort of graze through the day I'm never satisfied regardless of how much I eat.

The other thing I started recently was weight training to supplement walking which I've done since I was 20 (admittedly with some breaks when I was in a bad place but I'd come back to it). I am working on doing real stuff with heavier free weights. I don't see exercise in a negative calorie way but I do think you look better at any size and it's something to focus on if you feel the need to do something rather than restricting food.

Anyway it is proof AGAIN to me that IE is absolutely the way to go. I don't miss logging calories one little bit, either. And I sure as heck am not going to miss the binging and regain cycle. So I'm only a few months in but so hopeful.

Locke
03-24-2014, 01:35 PM
After some food journaling for the past week my nutrition therapist has concluded that I don't allow myself to get full. Perhaps I'm still not quite sure what fullness is supposed to mean or what is the right amount of fullness. But apparently I'm not getting full enough, especially at breakfast and when I don't eat a good hardy breakfast I set myself up for overeating the rest of the day. So I'm currently working on having a good breakfast... GOOD = enjoyable, plentiful and unrestricted. Wow, good used to mean something else entirely. I'm so good!

Good for you! I find that if I don't eat a large breakfast I have to eat a few hours later, which means that I just get hungry for little nibbles every few hours. I find that way of eating for me kind of stressful- I wish I could go for just three meals a day rather than eating every few hours. I'd rather not think about what I want to eat and I find meal times pretty boring when I'm being mindful. I just want to be done so I can resume other activities.

Last night I ate chicken and cottage cheese for dinner. I wasn't hungry for several hours after that. I'm going to try incorporating more protein into my meals and see if that keeps me satisfied longer. I'm honestly getting a bit tired of the refined carbohydrates at this point. I just want fruit, vegetables, and quality protein.

Koalifornia21
03-25-2014, 07:40 PM
Hi Everyone,

I'm new to the whole IE thing, but I'd really like to join this community!

short intro about myself, I'm 20 and in college. Last year I gained the typical freshman weight, but I spent the past year counting calories and restricting to get to my goal weight.

I reached my goal weight a little over a week ago, but it just hit me. I couldn't live being obsessed, weighing food, feeling starving all the time anymore. I was going a little crazy, and I want to live and eat in a way that's healthy for the rest of my life.

I read through all the IE posts and Overfed Head, so I'm going to dip my feet in and move away from calories to hunger. I'm so happy to have found this group as a support source!:)

Koalifornia21
03-26-2014, 04:11 AM
Do any of you struggle with feeling full, or knowing when to stop with a meal? I felt in tune with my body's hunger this morning, wasn't really hungry when I woke up, so I didn't eat until I felt hungrier at lunch time.

However, this night when I got hungry I started eating and had to keep asking myself "am I hungry or am I just enjoying the way this food tastes?" I think it was probably more of the second than the first, but after restricting for so long I just allowed myself to keep eating until I felt satisfied....am now feeling kind of guilty

How have you learned to differentiate between feeling full and just enjoying the food?

CinnamonApples
03-26-2014, 06:56 AM
Hi Koalifornia21! Yes, I struggle all the time. For a long time I relied on eating low cal foods, so I could stuff a lot and still not gain a lot of weight. So for me to stop when I am not hungry any-more is hard, I still want to eat for the taste of it. I think if you have to question yourself whether you are hungry or not, then you are probably not. At least for me, when I am hungry it is clear, I don't need to check if I am hungry, it is quite obvious (I mean I feel hungry). When I have to question, then it is more often when I wish I was hungry so that I could enjoy the food. Kinda "Am I hungry yet?....Am I hungry yet??....I wish I was hungry now!".

I can think of two options:

When you think you may be full - stop. If you feel hungry 10 minutes later - eat.

Or just eat to your heart's content, but then still wait until you get hungry again to eat.

I am very new to this too, but I think I will try the second one myself, because when I stop before I feel full it still feels like deprivation. And, if I overeat a little, it should simply mean that I will not get hungry that soon.

CindySunshine
03-26-2014, 08:15 AM
First off yes this is hard and yes it does get eaiher. I agree with Cinnamon completely it does not have to be perfect and either approach works. My husband totally is the second type and he wants to EAT to over fullness but then he waits forever to eat again and he totally responding to his body signals, has never been overweight and is very naturally intuitive. But that doesn't work for me at all and I really don't like that stuffed feeling anymore.

I think it is hard to gauge hunger if you are either too hungry to start with or you are eating really light things. So if I'm starving, I'm going to just really eat and go into a food coma for awhile. And if I'm eating something like a huge salad or popcorn, it is also difficult. Plus much of the time after you've done it awhile, at home I find I've gotten pretty good at simply putting the right amount of food on my plate for my hunger level and rarely leave much behind (but sometimes I do).

The whole thing is more applicable for me now when I'm in a restaurant and you get the proverbial huge portion. It's clear when they set it down it is too much and the question is where are you going to stop. In the original book the authors talk about the "last bite" signal and I really like to think about it that way so after you've gotten through those initial bites that taste just so fabulous I start to sort of side brain monitor myself and really do find I get to a point where a mental switch says ok you are completely satisfied, I do not want to ruin this lovely meal being overfill and that is the "last bite". At that point I set down my fork and like the book says I will nudge the plate back a smidge and sit back in my chair take a sip of water or wine as the case may be and focus on chatting. My husband knows that is his signal to dive in and eat anything he wants that I have left behind LOL. I certainly have been known to go back for a few more bites but usually not much.

But honestly it doesn't need to be perfect just neither leave yourself hungry nor get overfull to discomfort and then wait til you are hungry again and do it over at the next meal.

Wannabeskinny
03-26-2014, 09:31 AM
Do any of you struggle with feeling full, or knowing when to stop with a meal?

after restricting for so long I just allowed myself to keep eating until I felt satisfied....am now feeling kind of guilty

How have you learned to differentiate between feeling full and just enjoying the food?

Welcome to the forum. You'll find that IE can specifically help with calming your anxiety and obsession around food. Any kind of diet at all can make food a virtue rather than nourishment and when we scrutinize every food decision we make it can cause a lot of angst so good for you for wanting to address that now.

Have you read any of the IE books?

When it comes to fullness/hunger you have to remember that this is a skill. It's not something you do or don't do. It's not something you did successfully or something you failed to do well. It's something that you can work on a little bit at a time and like any other skill it's possible to go 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Sometimes it's easy to identify hunger and other times it's not. And sometimes you won't care at all about hunger and want to eat anyway and THAT'S OK TOO! As long as at some point during your day you acknowledge your hunger and fullness then your body will start paying more attention to it because your body craves to be nurtured by you, have some faith in it and it won't let you down.

So this is how I approach it. I ask myself if I'm hungry and if I'm not sure I wait a bit and ask myself again. Once I've established that I am hungry I set out to eat what I want to eat. At first my eating is impulsive, so I allow it to be. I remain mindful but I make sure that the first few bites are quick so that I get rid of that urgent initial hunger - but I do try to eat slowly enough so that I swallow one bite before taking another... it's amazing how quickly people put food in their mouth before they're even down chewing the previous bite and I'm no exception! After the urgency is calm I slow down considerable. I put my fork down between bites. At some point, usually about halfway through I leave the table. I'll do anything to take a solid 2minute break from eating. I may go to the bathroom, I may go get a glass of water, I may do some little chore, anything to get away from the food. When I go back I tell myself that I'm allowed to eat as much of it as I want... honestly though when I return I'm so level headed and so aware of how full I am that I know exactly how many bites I want to eat if any at all. This has helped me the most and it's getting easier!

Locke
03-26-2014, 01:03 PM
Hunger and fullness are the hardest part of IE for me to master. I've been doing IE for about three weeks and my techniques of feeding myself have evolved even over that amount of time. At first I was very weight loss oriented so I really wanted to make sure I didn't overeat at any meals. I constantly left the table more or less satisfied- I was no longer hungry but I wasn't satisfied, either. This meant I would be hungry in a few short hours and it began driving me nuts.

Now I eat until I'm full but "full" means different things for different people. For me it's not based on how my stomach feels. I can feel full without feeling food in my stomach, or conversely I can still feel hungry and feel like my belly is sticking out. It's this very subtle point of complete satisfaction. It's the point at which I don't need any more food. A good way to know when I'm approaching this point is that food stops tasting as good. The first few bites of food that you eat when you are hungry are incredible- I start salivating and it is very pleasurable. Then as my body reaches satisfaction that feeling goes away. What I've learned is that I still may be hungry for more even after that feeling of bliss goes away- and that's okay.

I have only "stuffed" myself once since beginning IE. I was playing a computer game with friends and shoving food in my mouth quickly. After I was done I clearly knew I had eaten to much. My stomach felt uncomfortable full and I felt yucky. I try to remember that feeling so that I don't get too much anxiety over whether I'm full or not. It's amazing to me that I used to feel that way after every meal. I try to remind myself how far I've come from just mindlessly eating ALL THE THINGS. My body actually does a pretty good job alerting me to hunger and fullness after all these years of dieting, overeating, and bulimia. I'm actually quite surprised how intact my signals are.

Wannabeskinny
03-26-2014, 01:36 PM
...My body actually does a pretty good job alerting me to hunger and fullness after all these years of dieting, overeating, and bulimia. I'm actually quite surprised how intact my signals are.

This is what the meaning of self-love really means. Trust yourself and cultivating the gifts you were born with. Hunger is not scary.

Koalifornia21
03-26-2014, 09:13 PM
Thanks for all of the feedback everyone! I really appreciate it.

Even though I've only been doing this for a couple of days I'm amazed at the relief I've felt around food! It's amazing actually. I had gotten to the point where if I nibbled on a cracker I would feel anxious until I looked up the calorie content of said cracker, guessed what proportion of it I had eaten, and then logged it. Needless to say I was getting a little crazy about it. I felt like food and thoughts of food were ruling my life!!

However, these past few days, after I've given myself permission to eat WHATEVER food I'm craving, I've been surprised to see how much less time I spend thinking about food. I know it will be a long time before I relegate food to its normal place, but it's nice to not feel like it's hanging over my head all day. The thread about not being afraid of hunger really struck a chord with me.

So fat I've read Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Trioble and the Overfed Head. To be honest I had a difficult time with Intuitive Eating book, but Overfed Head really impressed me. It was really eye-opening and just relieving to read. I don't want to be on the dieting/nondieting cycle for the rest of my life!

One thing I'm really surprised about is the odd times of day I feel hungry. So far I've found out that I don't wake up hungry, it hasn't come until later in the day...Were any of you surprised by the randomness of the times you're hungry at?

Again, this is such a great community and I feel so lucky to have found you all! My mom is really big on "health" and "nutrition" (she was a personal trainer for years, has restricted to low carb for as long as I've known her) so this isn't something I can talk to her about. She repeatedly tells me I'll never be able to rely on my hunger/fullness to maintain my weight, but hearing from you guys has really given me hope!

Locke
03-27-2014, 12:16 AM
Koalifornia,

I'm glad you're finding relief in this way of eating. I found that I had immediate results, too, with a few bumps along the way. One thing I found in the first week or two was the urge to get back on a diet. I'm very overweight and I have joint pain when I walk so it's hard for me to be patient and do things intuitively sometimes. I just want the pain to be gone NOW. Well I'm dropping weight and feeling better and more mobile each day so I'm less worried about that now.

I too have found that I'm hungry at odd times but I've become more attuned to my body and I sort of expect it now. I know that on weekend mornings I'm not usually hungry for breakfast. I think this may be because of abundant sleep or the fact that I don't wake up early and start walking/commuting to work. I also sometimes want a snack before bed time, especially if I eat an early dinner. All these feelings were frightening at first because I wasn't used to demand feeding myself. I just stuffed myself at each meal so I didn't need to snack in between.

Wannabeskinny
03-27-2014, 10:03 AM
I did very poorly yesterday. I ate breakfast and lunch and was attuned to my cues and ate accordingly. Then at dinnertime I made fried chicken that hubby's been asking me to make for a while now. As I was fixing dinner I knew that I was not at all hungry, not at all! But I never eat friend chicken and never ever make it! I knew that if I waited an hour or so that I would get eventually hungry but I decided to eat anyway because how often does one get to eat chicken right out of the fryer??

My lack of hunger cues were very strong, my body was explicit - do not eat! And I did it anyway and you know what, once I started eating I had no problem continuing. This is bad. Thumbs down on honoring my hunger!

CindySunshine
03-27-2014, 05:31 PM
Heck Wannabe I would have eaten that fried chicken, too! Sounds delicious!!

It really is ok, life is about compromise and we have to live in a world with those we love and enjoying meals with them and letting them live peacefully with us is part of our own satisfaction, albeit a departure from our own signals.

Wannabeskinny
03-28-2014, 10:34 AM
Heck Wannabe I would have eaten that fried chicken, too! Sounds delicious!!

It really is ok, life is about compromise and we have to live in a world with those we love and enjoying meals with them and letting them live peacefully with us is part of our own satisfaction, albeit a departure from our own signals.

Thanks you're right. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. I'm going back to writing down all the things I eat and rating my hunger/fullness and writing out my self-talk and emotions about eating. I did that for about a week before meeting with my nutritionist at her request and I enjoyed it. The appointment was triggering for me so I've felt a little off balance since then and hoping that getting back to writing down my level of hunger is helpful in forcing me to identify it.

Locke
03-28-2014, 03:02 PM
Wannabe,

The OO approach recommends acknowledging that you are overeating and trying to think about the emotions or circumstances that led you to it. Then forgive yourself and move on. It sounds like you did the first part but now it's time to let it go. :)

I myself have been doing okay. I was really irritable yesterday. Every little thing got on my nerves. I got angry, frustrated, and those familiar thoughts of self hatred and worthlessness crept in. I tried to distract myself the best I could. Crying helped. I'm going to attend a zen meditation center orientation tomorrow- I think meditation will help me learn to sit and accept my thoughts rather than trying to purge the feelings away.

I'm feeling rather settled into IE in the last few days. I think it's becoming a habit rather than something I have to constantly think about. That's nice because I'm getting tired of the "Am I hungry? Should I eat? Should I not eat?" thoughts. My eating has settled into a nice schedule since I began eating until truly satisfied at meals. Instead of eating every few hours I now comfortably eat 3 meals a day that I get truly hungry for. Sometimes I'll eat a snack in between but that's not too often.

I've been focusing on the hedonic aspects of food and eating. Eating food is much more pleasurable when you're hungry so I make sure I'm good and hungry before eating. Sometimes I find myself thinking "Gosh, I wish I would get hungry faster so I can eat!" Lol I just have to laugh at that sort of thing. It sounds like something my grandmother would have said. I also will not eat something that I don't enjoy. I threw out a frozen shepherd's pie that I had heated for lunch because it had a weird taste to it. I ate some berries and an avocado instead. I'm embracing the picky foodie within! :)

pghchick
03-29-2014, 08:10 AM
I'm feeling rather settled into IE in the last few days. I think it's becoming a habit rather than something I have to constantly think about. That's nice because I'm getting tired of the "Am I hungry? Should I eat? Should I not eat?" thoughts. My eating has settled into a nice schedule since I began eating until truly satisfied at meals. Instead of eating every few hours I now comfortably eat 3 meals a day that I get truly hungry for. Sometimes I'll eat a snack in between but that's not too often.


Thats awesome! Habits that are easy to execute are the most sustainable. Different things work for different people but I feel so much better removing the obsession over calories and eating when I am hungry. I don't follow IE strictly but I definitely love eating exactly what I want when I am hungry and IE HAS TAKEN THE ANXIETY OUT OF EVERY FOOD DECISION. I have been counting calories and binging for over a decade and for the first time I can eat a meal and not feel guilty or deprived.

SouthernMaven
03-29-2014, 01:22 PM
Thats awesome! Habits that are easy to execute are the most sustainable. Different things work for different people but I feel so much better removing the obsession over calories and eating when I am hungry. I don't follow IE strictly but I definitely love eating exactly what I want when I am hungry and IE HAS TAKEN THE ANXIETY OUT OF EVERY FOOD DECISION. I have been counting calories and binging for over a decade and for the first time I can eat a meal and not feel guilty or deprived.

So true, pghchick! Well-stated.

SouthernMaven
03-29-2014, 04:21 PM
MY PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH KICK

I've probably eaten a half-dozen PBJ sandwiches since Tuesday night.

It all started at work; I worked Tuesday evening with another new co-worker at the store (that I just loved working with!) for whom this is a second job. This means that she brings something to eat in the evening, and she mentioned that she had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Until Tuesday night, I had not eaten a PBJ in YEARS. In fact, until we had our two snows a while back I didn't even have any jelly in the house and had only bought a jar to have in case we lost power. We never did, but I did use the jelly a time or two on biscuits or toast, but I never even thought about a PBJ. But when she mentioned that's what she had it must have triggered something in me and I couldn't WAIT to get home and fix myself a PBJ.

And I did.

Boy, did I enjoy it! So much so that I had TWO on Wednesday - one for lunch, one for dinner.

And another one on Thursday.

And another on Friday.

And one today for lunch.

Yep, that makes six PBJ's since Tuesday night.

And I enjoyed the he** out of every one of them. Because they were EXACTLY what I wanted to eat each and every time I had one.

I ♥ Intuitive Eating!

CindySunshine
03-29-2014, 04:45 PM
LOL Maven you go girl!!

You know I was reading that thread about the girl whose boss brought donuts to work and her struggle to not eat them. Wannabe's response was right on point for the intuitive answer, too. If you are hungry eat one and enjoy it and if you aren't then skip it you can get a really great one and ENJOY it when you can enjoy it.

Makes the whole thing so much easier.

I have been thinking about how in diet rebound mode you are not only miserable gaining weight but you aren't even enjoying it one little bit. From here forward at least if I'm going to gain weight I want to enjoy it. Darn it I'm going to enjoy every calorie that goes in my mouth and I agree with Locke on the pickiness factor. Life is too darn short.

I have this book for the strength training routine that I've been working on but I just tune out on the diet suggestions, I am not drinking some protein shake I'm just not. Rather have scrambled eggs or a nice protein rich lunch.

And I also agree about eating out in the open and making it social. That's another thing, even if I'm by myself I plan to eat in a way I'd be happy about if I had people eating with me. I like that thought.

Funny about the PB&J is I haven't had any for a long time either and I was giving my dog a pill today and found the peanut butter to slather over the thing so she'd eat it and was thinking it sounded good, yep I need some, too. :)

SouthernMaven
03-29-2014, 05:53 PM
You know I was reading that thread about the girl whose boss brought donuts to work and her struggle to not eat them. Wannabe's response was right on point for the intuitive answer, too. If you are hungry eat one and enjoy it and if you aren't then skip it you can get a really great one and ENJOY it when you can enjoy it.



Oh, I'd seen that thread but NOT Wannabe's response so I went right to it and as usual, she hit the nail on the head! It was so strange because I'd just had that doughnut experience I described.

I don't read a whole lot of threads other than those dealing with IE but sometimes when I do - like that particular one - it helps to reinforce just how dangerous the diet mentality can be.

It's really true - I'm not a huge doughnut fan. I probably eat one every few months. I never buy them in the grocery store but there's a doughnut shop right across from the Y where I walk and every once in a while I'll have a "hankering" for one. And just one. Yesterday I didn't even particularly crave a doughnut but was just trying to eat something quickly before work, and that seemed like just the thing to keep me going. And it was.

I had a hair appointment Thursday at 11:30 am and was scheduled to go into work at 2:00 pm. I stopped at the Waffle House and had a nice big breakfast before my 11:30 am appointment. I then went to the bank and then to work at 2:00 pm and got off at 8:00 pm. I had a sudden craving for popcorn but knew I didn't have any so ran to the grocery store and got one of the boxes of individual servings of popcorn along with a few other items. Got home around 8:30 pm and the popcorn urge was completely gone, replaced by a need for - you guessed it! - another PB&J sandwich! (the popcorn remains unopened as of this writing)

I ate that PB&J around 9:00 pm & it occurred to me that I had not eaten since about 11:00 am! That big breakfast really stuck to my ribs. I was hungry when I ate the PBJ but not so much that I felt the need for more than one. I had a few chips with it. And that was it for the day.

The freedom to eat whatever I want whenever I want it has brought me more peace and tranquility in my life than I've had since I started gaining weight (and then dieting!) with the onset of menopause. How I wish I'd known of IE then; I'd be 30 pounds lighter now if I'd had.

But better late than never; better 30 lbs than 50, or 75, or 100. Because I'd have continued to diet and gain back had I not started IE. I'm as sure of that as of anything.

Koalifornia21
03-29-2014, 06:05 PM
It sounds like all of you are doing great with IE, I wish I could say the same for myself.

Last Saturday I was up 5lbs from a week of on and off bingeing, For a week I have been practicing IE and today I weighed myself and I'm up another 2 lbs!! So within two weeks I have gone up 7lbs!

I'm honestly freaking out a bit. I know I can't ever go back to calorie restriction, but it took me months..months to lose those 7lbs, and I gained it all back in 2 weeks! Is this a sign that I'm not respecting my fullness? I have been trying really hard to only eat foods that appeal to me ( cupcakes, cookies, all the things I haven't eaten in over a year) so I'm wondering if I gained because I was listening more to my appetite than to my hunger? Or perhaps some of it is water gain after so long of a restriction?

Just feeling a little down....

CindySunshine
03-29-2014, 06:42 PM
First off you have not gained 7 pounds. If you ate lightly for a day the water would flush and you'd be down substantially. But you need to get off the scale it will drive you absolutely crazy and you can't try to tie a few days eating IE especially when you first start with weight loss.

I know it's hard.

Are you overeating past fullness? Are you feeling your hunger and eating generally to satisfy it? Hang in there....it is hard to get started....

SouthernMaven
03-29-2014, 07:00 PM
It sounds like all of you are doing great with IE, I wish I could say the same for myself.

Last Saturday I was up 5lbs from a week of on and off bingeing, For a week I have been practicing IE and today I weighed myself and I'm up another 2 lbs!! So within two weeks I have gone up 7lbs!

I'm honestly freaking out a bit. I know I can't ever go back to calorie restriction, but it took me months..months to lose those 7lbs, and I gained it all back in 2 weeks! Is this a sign that I'm not respecting my fullness? I have been trying really hard to only eat foods that appeal to me ( cupcakes, cookies, all the things I haven't eaten in over a year) so I'm wondering if I gained because I was listening more to my appetite than to my hunger? Or perhaps some of it is water gain after so long of a restriction?

Just feeling a little down....

It's not at all uncommon to gain weight when you first start IE. That said, it's imperative you get off that scale. I know how hard it is to let go of it, but it's holding you back.

You simply cannot think of IE in terms of weight loss. If you do you'll not succeed. Jumping on that scale is a part of the diet mentality, and you HAVE to let it go.

Right now you just have to concentrate on legalizing food, ALL food. If that means eating nothing but cupcakes for six weeks, so be it. Just make sure you are truly HUNGRY when you eat them. This is one of the most difficult things for people who are coming off the diet-go-round to discern, and it takes practice.

Be patient with yourself. And more importantly, be KIND to yourself.

Remember - Intuitive Eating is not - I repeat - NOT - a diet.

It is all about learning to trust yourself and your body to tell you what it needs.

Koalifornia21
03-29-2014, 09:43 PM
Thanks Cindy and Maven for being voices of reason. I know that I need to give up the diet mentality, but I'm afraid that if I completely stop using the scale then I have no way to keep myself in check. I guess I'm slightly afraid of "letting myself go" and reaching a point where my jeans don't fit anymore or something like that.

I've really been trying to feel my hunger, even if that means waiting longer between meals. However, I have noticed that my fullness comes in a little bit after I eat. I may be eating and still not fill completely full, but if I stop and wait and do something else I'll feel my fullness and realize that I overate past it.

I really want to trust IE, but I guess I'm kind of afraid I'm going to pack on all this weight and not fit my clothes anymore.

SouthernMaven
03-29-2014, 10:14 PM
Thanks Cindy and Maven for being voices of reason. I know that I need to give up the diet mentality, but I'm afraid that if I completely stop using the scale then I have no way to keep myself in check. I guess I'm slightly afraid of "letting myself go" and reaching a point where my jeans don't fit anymore or something like that.

I've really been trying to feel my hunger, even if that means waiting longer between meals. However, I have noticed that my fullness comes in a little bit after I eat. I may be eating and still not fill completely full, but if I stop and wait and do something else I'll feel my fullness and realize that I overate past it.

I really want to trust IE, but I guess I'm kind of afraid I'm going to pack on all this weight and not fit my clothes anymore.

It takes a while for the fullness signals to reach the brain, which is why it is so important to slow down and savor your food as much as possible. Even then it may be awhile before you really reach satiety. Eating too fast and/or mindlessly doesn't let our body signal our brain that we are no longer hungry. It's really better to stop BEFORE you feel full. If you are truly hungry your brain will let you know it, and then you can eat some more later if necessary.

Most importantly, do not FEAR hunger. It's not the boogie-man many people make it out to be. Even true hunger can come and go. But if your body really needs food it eventually becomes very obvious and can no longer be ignored. We all know those signals; the kind that says "FEED ME! I don't care WHAT it is!!"

CindySunshine
03-29-2014, 11:32 PM
Anybody else a fan of TED? The nonprofit group under the slogan Ideas Worth Spreading gets some awesome speakers and thought provoking, entertaining talks.

I just read about this one given in June of 2013 by a neuroscientist relating her personal IE experience and tying it to the brain -it isn't overly technical but it reinforces much of what we are discussing. I haven't had luck getting links into posts, but you can search and easily find it, talk is about 12 minutes.

Filmed June 2013 at TEDGlobal 2013
Sandra Aamodt: Why dieting doesn't usually work

Wannabeskinny
03-30-2014, 09:28 AM
Wow SouthernMaven, what a PBJ kick!

It sounds like all of you are doing great with IE, I wish I could say the same for myself.

Last Saturday I was up 5lbs from a week of on and off bingeing, For a week I have been practicing IE and today I weighed myself and I'm up another 2 lbs!! So within two weeks I have gone up 7lbs!

I'm honestly freaking out a bit. I know I can't ever go back to calorie restriction, but it took me months..months to lose those 7lbs, and I gained it all back in 2 weeks! Is this a sign that I'm not respecting my fullness? I have been trying really hard to only eat foods that appeal to me ( cupcakes, cookies, all the things I haven't eaten in over a year) so I'm wondering if I gained because I was listening more to my appetite than to my hunger? Or perhaps some of it is water gain after so long of a restriction?

Just feeling a little down....

The beginning stages of IE while liberating can also be very scary. You're facing yourself possibly for the first time and putting all the power in your own hands. You're not listening to some guru who says "eat this this and not that," you're not following a schedule, you're not following any food rules and you have to consciously ignore some ingrained food thoughts such as "carbs are bad" or "sugar is evil." And then you see a slight gain on the scale and immediately doubt your ability to do this. This is all very frightening and it makes you want to reach out to the nearest diet life vest to gain some control. The fact is that you finally do have control of yourself. It's up to you to decide what you will eat but most importantly, how you treat yourself afterwards is the key component here. Be kind, be compassionate and view it as a minor decision.

Your hunger and fullness cues are there. They just have to be honed like a skill. Everytime you honor your hunger with fullness you are one step closer to being the real you. Fullness is a bit tricky. What works for me is to eat slowly, and get slower as you eat. At some point I put the fork down and leave the room. I will do anything to get my mind off the food for a couple of minutes, make a phone call, check your email, fold some laundry, whatever! And then I allow myself to go back to my plate and have as much as I want. For some reason when I return to the plate I'm fully aware of how much I need to eat if any at all.

Wannabeskinny
03-30-2014, 01:15 PM
Anybody else a fan of TED? The nonprofit group under the slogan Ideas Worth Spreading gets some awesome speakers and thought provoking, entertaining talks.

I just read about this one given in June of 2013 by a neuroscientist relating her personal IE experience and tying it to the brain -it isn't overly technical but it reinforces much of what we are discussing. I haven't had luck getting links into posts, but you can search and easily find it, talk is about 12 minutes.

Filmed June 2013 at TEDGlobal 2013
Sandra Aamodt: Why dieting doesn't usually work

I love Ted Talks but this one in particular is the worst! Ugh, I heard this one before I did IE and it was a total turn of to IE. I just listened to it again and ugh, I hated it even more.

Dear Debby Downer, what's with the 10lb weight loss miracle? For those of us who are obese and struggling to lose weight it DOES NOT HELP to tell us that our body has adjusted to this weight as a set point. So there's no hope for us ever! I just don't feel she does anything to really promote IE. It's just a bunch of sad facts and "life is unfair" and her voice grates on my nerves and that little tskst sound is godawful and her sour face are despicable. Ok rant over. I don't think this Ted talk is inspirational or informative in any way.

CinnamonApples
03-30-2014, 02:13 PM
Hey all! So many threads on IE I am not sure where to post :D I see so many of you got success immediately after quitting dieting. I wish I could say the same. My problem is emotional eating. And I am not sure if it is possible for me to do well with IE until I manage to overcome my emotional eating. I am not hungry, I know I am not hungry, but I want to eat. I know I want to eat not because of hunger, but because I am lonely (sad, anxious, etc.). I know that food will not solve the problem, but I don't know how to solve the problem and just want to numb the pain. I know that changing a few things in my life (moving and job) may make things better, but I have to stay where I am for a while, so I need to find a way to cope with my feelings now. Did you have problems with emotional eating? Any advice? Taking a walk or a bath or writing down my feelings won't help - the urge to eat down my feelings is always stronger than rational ideas. So I need something more, well, more radical maybe. Something I could not read in a magazine for fitness superstars who just have a minor craving for something sweet but still have enough willpower to take the ****ing walk instead. Thanks ladies!

Locke
03-30-2014, 03:36 PM
Yes I have problems with emotional eating. I don't usually reach for something when I'm overwhelmed with emotion. Typically if I'm really sad or angry I completely lose my appetite. My problem is more subtle emotions like boredom, or eating to distract myself from work that I should be doing. I have found help in the last few days with zen meditation. I used to do it more often but I sort of forgot about it in the hectic mess of my life in the past few years.

Meditation is relaxing and it makes me realize how much mental chatter I have in my head at all times. When I meditate I concentrate on listening to everything going on around me but not reacting to it emotionally. I hear my thoughts, little noises outside, people moving around my apartment building, the sound of the refrigerator, and the background hum that you hear when there are no other sounds present. After several minutes of doing this and focusing on my breathing I find that my thoughts take on the same emotional impact as the birds singing outside- they are present and I hear them but they don't carry any meaning.

It's ironic that as a religious studies grad student I've lost my connection to my own spirituality through the years of stress and strain. I'm now consciously trying to work on my own spiritual connection to the world. I've found that it helps tremendously.

SouthernMaven
03-30-2014, 03:46 PM
Hey all! So many threads on IE I am not sure where to post :D I see so many of you got success immediately after quitting dieting. I wish I could say the same. My problem is emotional eating. And I am not sure if it is possible for me to do well with IE until I manage to overcome my emotional eating. I am not hungry, I know I am not hungry, but I want to eat. I know I want to eat not because of hunger, but because I am lonely (sad, anxious, etc.). I know that food will not solve the problem, but I don't know how to solve the problem and just want to numb the pain. I know that changing a few things in my life (moving and job) may make things better, but I have to stay where I am for a while, so I need to find a way to cope with my feelings now. Did you have problems with emotional eating? Any advice? Taking a walk or a bath or writing down my feelings won't help - the urge to eat down my feelings is always stronger than rational ideas. So I need something more, well, more radical maybe. Something I could not read in a magazine for fitness superstars who just have a minor craving for something sweet but still have enough willpower to take the ****ing walk instead. Thanks ladies!

Hi Cinnamon!

I do indeed understand exactly what you're going through. I suspect most everyone who practices IE has suffered with emotional eating; I know I have. And I also understand how difficult it is to do something other than eat.

We've all read the advice - take a walk, take a bubble bath, read a book, call a friend, yadayadayada. So easy to write, so difficult to do when that food is calling your name.

I can honestly say that now that I am no longer dieting, is is MUCH easier to ignore those food calls. Why? Because I know that I CAN eat the hamburger, chips, peanut butter cups, you name it. There is only one requirement that must be met - I must be hungry.

And if I still want that hamburger, those chips, that peanut butter cup, or anything else you can name, I must sit down, eat it slowly, savor it, and stop when I am no longer hungry.

When you first begin eating "intuitively," chances are your body will "intuitively" tell you to eat all those things that you have been programmed to believe are bad foods. This is where so many people feel IE won't work for them...they are convinced that they will stuff their faces with every conceivable type of "junk food" (the diet industry's words, not mine) and never come up for air. But if they really start focusing on their hunger/fullness cues as well as listening to what their body is telling them to eat, generally they will find themselves moving toward those foods that do provide better nutrition. Wannabeskinny can expand on that further, as she is experiencing that right now.

If you read my post about the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, you will see what I'm talking about. Even when I began IE I don't ever recall eating the same thing 5 days in a row (twice in one day) as I did with the PBJ episode. That was triggered by my co-worker mentioning that she had one for supper. I cannot TELL you how much I enjoyed those PBJ's. I couldn't wait to get home to eat them, I prepared them with care, I savored them. I enjoyed the he** out of them. But I'm finished with that - for now, anyway.

I'm typing this and I'm pretty hungry. Not ravenous, but hungry. And I want a salad - more specifically, a spinach salad. I don't have any spinach in the house so I'll be going to Le Madeleine (a regional chain) to get their salad sampler. I'll have the spinach salad, a scoop of either chicken or tuna salad (whatever strikes my fancy when I get there) and a bowl of their tomato soup. Yum!

This is my body telling me it's time for some leafy greens. It's saying - "Enough with the PBJ's already. You've satisfied that craving, so let's move on." And I'm paying close attention to what it's telling me.

You can do that too. It does, however, take some practice - and yes, a little discipline. I don't think it's anathema to the practice of IE to use the word "discipline." We're just using it in a different context.

Instead of using discipline in the diet context - aka "willpower" - to RESIST a certain food - we discipline ourselves to savor our food and to listen to our bodies & acknowledge their messages. Most of all, we listen to our bodies to determine when we're no longer hungry. Notice I didn't even say "full" - I said "no longer hungry." This is probably the hardest part of IE - has been for me, anyway.

Because for me, full has always meant stuffed. It may not mean that for others, but it did for me. I'm not a big snacker, but I always ate far more at each meal than I needed. In restaurants, I almost always cleaned my plate. At home, I almost always went back for seconds.

Now I actually ask for my "to go" box when I order my meal when dining out, and I rarely have a second helping of anything when eating at home. I try to leave a little of everything on my plate, but I don't always succeed. If I'm still really hungry I'll eat it all.

This is SUCH a personal journey. IE is the anti-diet, so each person has to approach it in his or her own way. And it takes practice. You won't be perfect right out of the gate, and you won't be perfect 10 years from now. Naturally thin people sometimes overeat, and they also sometimes eat when they are not hungry. The difference is - it's rare for them, and when they do, they naturally compensate for it by eating less the next day. They don't even have to think about it.

So Cinnamon, try very very hard to postpone any eating until you're hungry. Then eat what you want - without guilt. Once you get in the habit of this, it gets easier and easier.

Locke
03-30-2014, 03:51 PM
Thought I'd check in with you guys today. Weighed myself on Saturday. Weight is up a lot, enough that I know it must be water weight. Yuck. I seriously need to consider monthly weigh-ins rather than weekly. This morning I've felt the urge to restrict calories again. It's probably because we're in the middle of a series of rain storms and my joints are HATING me right now. I also just feel fat. I've been overeating a little bit this weekend- a bit of candy here and there, sugary drinks when I'm not hungry at all. I know I shouldn't but I feel bad about it. I've resisted the urges to throw out the "bad" foods and stock the fridge with chicken breasts, green vegetables, and fat free cottage cheese. I'm just trying to take this one day at a time and focus on how much I've changed for the better. I still haven't binged since I started IE which is amazing. I've had all my old "trigger" foods in the house and I haven't lost control and eaten all of it. I haven't had to really exercise control at all in a sense.

Southern Maven I envy you that you can go so long without eating. My body feels hungry a lot. I'm constantly saying "I can't believe I'm hungry I've eaten like a pig all day..." I have to remind myself that eating until satiety every 4-5 hours isn't being a pig. I keep realizing again and again that this is really a psychological battle. My body's biological signals are all there and good- it's the mental battle that's tough.

CindySunshine
03-30-2014, 04:19 PM
Wannabe I hear you on that talk and the gal was pretty nerdy, I kept trying to figure out what the necklace was about looked a bit like it came for a Harry Potter movie where you could see your future in the crystal ball. I mostly found it interesting that TED covered the topic.

My own view on setpoint is that it applies most when you get to the vanity fashion range and it takes tremendous effort to stay 10 pounds thinner and a size or two smaller when the body wants to settle in more comfortably a bit higher. I don't think it applies as much to being considerably over weight. From the looks of that gal and having lost 10 pounds that's about where she settled.

Personally as much as I have yo yo dieted for so long when I get up about 15 pounds a switch just goes off in my brain ENOUGH and I really just can't eat anymore. It is a blessing but I think it a sort of upper setpoint for me but who knows.

Cinnamon the only other thing I can add to all the great advice is that IE is absolutely not eating the same as what you did before or especially in the regain phase after a diet. That always gave me hope that I wouldn't just fall into an old bad pattern and IE was just giving up.

But the bottom line is if you have been regularly overeating past fullness / binging before you will likely lost weight. If you weren't you probably won't lose very much. That's the weight facts but the gift is the joy of lifting the burden and obsessive behavior. And as Maven so eloquently related it creates deep comfort and satisfaction.

I do think it doesn't hurt to make sure you are getting enough exercise and maybe do some strength training. You will inevitably look and feel better no matter what you weigh.

Locke
03-30-2014, 06:29 PM
Just had a big ugly binge/purge. I haven't done that in a while. I'm under stress trying to get a chapter revision of my thesis done and I just want to eat *all the things*. It wasn't a huge one like in the past but it was definitely a binge- eating quickly, not listening to satiety, just stuffing lots of stuff down and then making it all come back up because of the shame and the possibility of weight gain from it. /sigh. I'm trying to stay positive about it. These are ingrained habits that are hard to change. I've had a bit of a rough week. I can't wait for the work week to start- weekends stuck inside writing my thesis are definitely a hard time for me.

I'm not going to hate myself over this. I'm not going to starve myself because I was bad. I'm not going to throw out all of my delicious, nutritious food in favor of bland diet food. I'm going to wait until I'm hungry again, eat what I would like to eat, and stop when I'm full. I'm going to love myself and my body no matter what. :)

Koalifornia21
03-30-2014, 07:43 PM
Just wanted to post and say through I feel like I've had a breakthrough! Today I was craving oats for breakfast so I made my usual half cup serving. I really ate slowly and focused on my body and waiting for it to signal that I was no longer hungry -not full per se, just no longer needing food. I found out that I was done after half of the bowl! I felt satisfied but not full, and my hunger was gone.

I think paying attention to my bodies subtle cues is really the key!

Koalifornia21
03-30-2014, 08:24 PM
Just had a big ugly binge/purge. I haven't done that in a while. I'm under stress trying to get a chapter revision of my thesis done and I just want to eat *all the things*. It wasn't a huge one like in the past but it was definitely a binge- eating quickly, not listening to satiety, just stuffing lots of stuff down and then making it all come back up because of the shame and the possibility of weight gain from it. /sigh. I'm trying to stay positive about it. These are ingrained habits that are hard to change. I've had a bit of a rough week. I can't wait for the work week to start- weekends stuck inside writing my thesis are definitely a hard time for me.

I'm not going to hate myself over this. I'm not going to starve myself because I was bad. I'm not going to throw out all of my delicious, nutritious food in favor of bland diet food. I'm going to wait until I'm hungry again, eat what I would like to eat, and stop when I'm full. I'm going to love myself and my body no matter what. :)

I think that's the right spirit to have! Starting this whole IE thing is really hard, but it's OK to make mistakes! It sounds like you learned from yours and that's the important part anyway. As long as you move forward and don't beat yourself up about it, that's what counts!

CindySunshine
03-31-2014, 11:54 AM
Hey gang, I have been doing some browsing reading on this big forum and read quite a bit on the Maintainers forum. Sometimes I think that is where we all ought to start in the first place.

But anyway there is a thread in the sticky section at the top called Some Answers About Genes, Environment, Obesity and Maintenance that Meg started I think in 2008. The basics there are that once you are obese, you are forever changed in your metabolism. But if you read toward the end, there are a number of people who disagree.

I don't know that my experience is the same as those that have been heavier at one point, but they also used to so yo-yo dieting destroyed your metabolism but lately I heard that isn't true either. I don't think it is for myself. For short periods I seem all out of whack but over some weeks and letting things settle in and accounting for normal slowdowns as we age, I feel like I'm the same even after all the bouts with yo-yo's, they have made me emotionally miserable but not impacted my base metabolism or at least I don't think so.

Any thoughts on this from the intuitive sense?

Locke
03-31-2014, 12:50 PM
@Cindy

I honestly don't think we (human beings) know enough about how metabolism actually works to come to these conclusions yet. These are all speculative answers to the question "why can't most obese people lose weight and keep it off?"

I personally feel like my metabolism is fine but I haven't spent years yo-yo dieting like some. The longest I've stayed on a diet was maybe a month or two before giving up. Right now I'm eating a TON of food. More food than a thin person would eat but my body is truly hungry for (most of) it. If I compare it to what I was eating mindlessly when not on a diet it's a drastically smaller amount. I'm still quite skeptical that I will drop weight on IE or get anywhere near what I feel is a healthy body weight.

The only thing keeping me on IE right now is the dread I feel when I think about counting calories. My doctor wants me to eat 1200 calories per day. I feel like s**t if I eat that little fuel. At least with IE I'm not feeling sick from eating too few or too many calories. I hate feeling stuffed and lethargic and I hate feeling fatigued and lightheaded. IE seems like the middle way of sanity compared to those extremes.

Wannabeskinny
03-31-2014, 01:33 PM
Hey gang, I have been doing some browsing reading on this big forum and read quite a bit on the Maintainers forum. Sometimes I think that is where we all ought to start in the first place.

But anyway there is a thread in the sticky section at the top called Some Answers About Genes, Environment, Obesity and Maintenance that Meg started I think in 2008. The basics there are that once you are obese, you are forever changed in your metabolism. But if you read toward the end, there are a number of people who disagree.

I don't know that my experience is the same as those that have been heavier at one point, but they also used to so yo-yo dieting destroyed your metabolism but lately I heard that isn't true either. I don't think it is for myself. For short periods I seem all out of whack but over some weeks and letting things settle in and accounting for normal slowdowns as we age, I feel like I'm the same even after all the bouts with yo-yo's, they have made me emotionally miserable but not impacted my base metabolism or at least I don't think so.

Any thoughts on this from the intuitive sense?

Being obese for a very long time has consequences. I know and understand some of the physical consequences. For example, the skeleton of someone morbidly obese changes as there is so much pressure put on the joints. Some of that damage can't be undone. Metabolism however, I don't know and have not researched it. I don't think I understand metabolism well enough to speculate. But I like to think that it is possible to repair the damage done as long as we stay true to our hunger/fullness issues.

I too don't feel like my metabolism is messed up. I have never yo-yo dieted. I'm a big time failure when it comes to diets, I really can't stick to them. I've tried them all but only for very very very short bursts of time. I have not lost large quantities of weight and regained them. I've basically gained steadily over the course of my adult life, never really losing much. My body responds well to caloric restriction and exercise so I don't feel scared that I won't lose weight. What has plagued me for years though is the diet mentality, my eating disorder, and the constant state of guilt for not being able to stick to a diet. It's all mental mental mental.

Wannabeskinny
03-31-2014, 01:42 PM
I'm still quite skeptical that I will drop weight on IE or get anywhere near what I feel is a healthy body weight.

The only thing keeping me on IE right now is the dread I feel when I think about counting calories. My doctor wants me to eat 1200 calories per day. I feel like s**t if I eat that little fuel. At least with IE I'm not feeling sick from eating too few or too many calories. I hate feeling stuffed and lethargic and I hate feeling fatigued and lightheaded. IE seems like the middle way of sanity compared to those extremes.

I'm sad to hear this but I also sympathize. I have good days and bad days with IE. I still beat myself up over carbs but I'm dead scared to restrict them for fear that I will binge, I'm not doing any binging now which is great, I feel really great about that. I keep reminding myself that this is just one step at a time, one day at a time. I was reading in OO that everytime I honor my hunger/fullness I'm making a deposit into a savings account and my savings account is accumulating! There have been times where I over eat or eat for reasons other than hunger, but doing so does not make withdraws from my savings account, understand?

What's most important to me at the moment is building a trusting relationship with myself around food. Sure I'd like to get in a bikini by June, who doesn't??!!! But whether I do or not cannot alter how I conduct my day, and I approach every bite knowing that I am nurturing myself and cannot punish myself for it. The world will have to wait. The big reveal is happening on my inside, not my outside... Confession: I've probably lost a couple of pounds since starting IE in early February. But I feel so much calmer, so much guilt-free and happy to be addressing issues that will make me a better me to myself.

Wannabeskinny
03-31-2014, 03:43 PM
I craved a tomato!!!

Something is dawning on me about the food I eat. I have developed a list of safe foods, or foods that make me safe that I continuously go back to to aleviate my emotional eating. Precisely fast food drive thrus, potato chips, cheetos, cookies/cake, potatoes, bread, pasta, butter/oils. Any combination of these. I hardly ever eat cheese, I hate ice cream, I hardly ever eat pizza. What I mean to say here is that I have my go-to foods and I don't mess with them. They're safe foods and I cannot deter from their preparation. I feel that now I am starting to figure out that they're not that powerful. And this is giving me a bit of freedom. When I ask myself "what do I want to eat right now" I have gone to these go-to foods. But slowly and SURELY I am deviating from them too. I'm testing the waters to see if I can enjoy other foods without feeling like i've gone into "good food" territory.

It's not always clear what I want to eat when I ask myself "what do I feel like eating." Today it was very clear though, I wanted a tuna sandwich. My tuna is basic. Canned tuna, mayo, salt, whole wheat bread. It's a go-to feel good safe food. For some inexplicable reason though I imaged that a few slices of ripe red tomato would go well on this....but I hate tomato!!! I was like "nah, I don't like tomato." But then I shrugged and went with it, I could always pull it off if I didn't enjoy it. So I made it, it looked really pretty too, a nice change from the boring brown/beige colors. I took a bite and was like woohooo!!

This is not quite the same thing as SouthernMaven's PB&J kick but it was certainly an aha moment. I'm so thankful for eating something that I like, and feeling good about eating it and it was nice to have some healthy fresh veg on it too. I'm so thankful for being one step closer to meeting my own needs and trusting myself to take care of myself.

Locke
03-31-2014, 04:32 PM
@Wannabe

It's hard for me to have patience. That's probably why I've never been able to stick to a diet plan for very long in the first place. Like you I drop weight quickly when I restrict my eating but I can't stick with it for very long.

That's awesome about the tomato. I had a few weird cravings over the weekend. Sunday morning I wanted lamb so I got a lamb sandwich at a local deli. I'm still eating a lot of bread and cheese but I find it satisfying. Last night for dinner I had a thick slice of sourdough bread, some runny french cheese, pepper jelly, a small slice of salami, and a mandarin orange. I left about half the bread on my plate. It was what I wanted, it filled me just right, and it made me feel good.

I've been craving poached chicken lately and I'm going to indulge in that tonight. Not baked, grilled, or fried- poached with a nice warm kale salad. That's fine with me! :)

CindySunshine
04-01-2014, 11:25 AM
I love this talk about really figuring out what you want and then eating it. Totally feels so darn good.

I read a piece yesterday on a blog site (jimminy Christmas there are a lot of those out there these days) but one article really struck a chord and not a comfortable one with me. It's when you replace the soothing of eating with a shopping trip and especially for clothes. This is definitely me as part of my yo-yo mode. Get with the program, get my eating cleaned up, exercise really hard and to reward the improvements, go shopping.

I am in the base case a fashionista always have loved pretty clothes and my mother used to spend a lot of time with me finding things and putting outfits together, it's got nice memories and I just love the thrill of dressing up in a new outfit that makes me feel good.

But I definitely get a shoppers high and when that wanes out as it ultimately must, then it's sort of part of the top of the yo-yo and I'd eventually turn to food again and so the cycle goes. I really am type A, perfection tendencies, and like things planned out. It served me well in my career, but not so much for other things where more grey is needed.

I've always been a walker but it doesn't give me a high, probably really ought to try running again but it has never appealed to me. Walking feels wonderful but in a slow happy way not that same high.

It is clearly time for alternative things to busy and reward myself with. I am going back north next week and will be very busy with my yard and garden and settling I to the different routine, but I have had a real aha moment with the high aspect of what I've been doing and I am going to work on it big time.

My diet is fine I eat nearly all healthy things but don't feel the need to avoid anything. I feel better by far on lean proteins, vegetables, fruit, some whole grains but not a lot. All this talk about donuts, I used to just LOVE them but I finally really decided how absolutely awful they made me feel when I ate the on an empty stomach for breakfast or even as a snack. I much prefer a few bites of something sweet now after a meal and then it's not a lot. Same thing with bread, I eat a piece when we go out, but usually quit at one, It just makes me feel better that way.

Anyway I will be turning to a different page next week and I want to stop reading all this internet stuff on IE and food at least for awhile, but it's been a great 3 months and I feel ready to "settle" with other priorities.

SouthernMaven
04-01-2014, 03:05 PM
Anyway I will be turning to a different page next week and I want to stop reading all this internet stuff on IE and food at least for awhile, but it's been a great 3 months and I feel ready to "settle" with other priorities.

I did that for awhile and it really helps. Sometimes we just need to walk away from all of it. We'll miss you here if you decide to leave us for awhile, but I completely understand!

Koalifornia21
04-02-2014, 02:22 PM
I feel like I'm starting to get a better gauge of my hunger and fullness, it's been really empowering!

But a quick question for you all. How do you plan ahead for meals with IE? There are some days where I have class and work for 6 hours straight (10 - 4). Should I bring a lunch with me even though I'm not hungry after breakfast. I know that I'm supposed to eat the food I'm craving, but I have a hard time thinking of any when I am full. I'm not sure if it's better to wait until I feel really hungry again and then just eat after work. Or if I should bring a snack or something.

exquisitern
04-02-2014, 03:08 PM
I never heard of IE before, but I think that's what I've been doing. About a year ago, I started losing weight and I wasn't really trying, I just saw it on the scale at the doctors (I have hypothyroidism). The next time I went to the doctor, I had moved and my bedroom is on the second floor and I had quit taking snacks to bed with me, I had lost again. Amazing, Right!!!!!!!!!! So then I thought, I'm going to try to not eat late or take food to bed with me and make better choices and learn when I am hungry. Boy, I know what hungry feels like now!!! But if I wanted something, I would eat it!, Chocolate, fried food, whatever, just not pig out! When I went back to the doctor again, I had lost weight! Wow, this was trend!!! Amazing that I was losing weight, eating what I wanted, just not overeating or eating late night meals. I took a sabbatical from about 11/15/13 to 1/15/14 and gained 1 lb. Well, I go back to the doctor on 4/23/14. I am still doing what I have been doing, but I've added a magic piece to my pie. I've started walking! My right hip is a little grumpy, but it's all good. Once I get in the zone and start walking, I'm good for 50 minutes!
Well this is my story, not sure it's IE, but it's working!! I love hearing all of you and plan to try and stick around for awhile. The last time I was on 3FC's was over 2 years ago. I always loved this site! I find a lot of support here.

Locke
04-02-2014, 03:42 PM
@Koalifornia-

Yes pack a lunch. When I first started IE I was confused by the "eat what you crave" part, too. I work a busy schedule and I can't just stop and go to the store or a restaurant whenever I want and pick something. I also can't afford to eat that way all the time. What I've been doing is to pack a variety of foods- fruits, vegetables, protein bar, bread, cheese, meat, etc. Then I pick at it and eat what I want. Remember that these aren't hard and fast rules- you're not "cheating" if you are hungry for a steak and you eat a salad. They are principles to follow the best you can.

@Exquisitern- it sounds like you are naturally doing IE. That's great! Some of my favorite books are Overcoming Overeating, Overfed Head, and Intuitive Eating if you are looking to supplement your knowledge on the subject. I'm also getting into reading about mindfulness and eating. Exercise is great- it makes me feel so good.

We've started a new April 2014 Intuitive Eating thread. Please join us there!

RareandUnknown931319
04-02-2014, 03:47 PM
Best to get on the scale the same time, same day, same place, every 2 or 3 weeks, otherwise your just being paranoid and drive yourself crazy over it until you obsess over it.:)