20-Somethings - my boyfriend called me out




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alabama
03-03-2014, 05:16 PM
so i've been wanting to get back on track with eating for a few weeks now, i've been exercising but my eating hasn't been the best (i'll snack too much after work, generally. or have too many cokes [nasty habit, i know]).

the other night my boyfriend called me out on my excessive snackage. it hurt my feelings so bad and we got into an argument about how he needs to not tell me what to do and how to eat or how not to eat (i get defensive... :shrug: ). of course in his mind it was totally not a big deal because he didn't mean it maliciously, just like "stop eating everything, you're being ridiculous." but i took it personally. and now i totally realize he was right, i was totally off the chain snacking. i was so offended at the time but i'm kind of glad he did it now because it made me want to take eating-things way more seriously.

thus why i am back, i always do way better when i'm back here regularly. so here i am. and i live with my boyfriend so hopefully he can help and remind me (more tactfully next time, i hope) to quit eating everything in the apartment.


2feelbetter
03-03-2014, 05:22 PM
I know the feeling ( as I'm sitting here munching on pretzels) I do the same thing when I come home I start to munch ....

This board will help you a lot so just keep posting.

Now, go and take a walk, or dance to some music. Just keep moving.

I'm going to the gym.

alabama
03-03-2014, 05:31 PM
i'm sitting here avoiding work. i am sitting here eating an apple. and finding workout videos i wanna do when i get home. compared to compulsively refreshing instagram, i'd say that's some progress right there.


amandie
03-03-2014, 05:35 PM
Heck yea, progress for sure! I'd be hurt as heck if my boyfriend called me out too. I'm snacky too! Hang in there, you're doing great so far.

EnglishMcTeach
03-04-2014, 11:35 AM
I snack a lot too! Sometimes I snack too much on unhealthy things I buy when commuting (walking home from work.) I don't know if my situation is similar, but I'll share what I learned in case it can help someone.

Usually, I snack when my breakfast & lunch has been way too small. Because I'm focused on cutting calories I'm not necessarily considering if a breakfast or lunch meal is too small, and then I wonder why I go home in the evening and snack on chips. When I started eating bigger meals at breakfast and lunch, however, the problem was solved. (I make all my own meals, and I can plan out the calories the night before. If I don't finish all my lunch, I save it to eat later in the afternoon.)

IsobelRose22
03-05-2014, 11:45 AM
I have no helpful advice for you. But I can sympathise. My meals are healthy and I exercise regularly (4/5 per week hard workouts) but my snacking lets me down, some days it can end up being 700+cals in snacks alone. I even keep it a secret from my boyfriend by doing it when he's out the house or when I'm at work, just so he doesn't call me out on it, like your boyfriend has done. I know full well my reaction would be just like yours. Finally I would like to thank you for posting this as reading it, and writing my response has helped me nail down the root causes of my snacking. Boredom and rebelliousness. I do it as I know people would disapprove. How ridiculous does that sound as it harms me not anyone else. So thank you Alabama. I hope everything goes well for you :)

alabama
03-05-2014, 01:02 PM
i feel ya there, IsobelRose22, i totally have a weird issue with authority and/or people trying to tell me what to do. like, he called me out and i had to stop myself from shoving more food in my mouth while staring straight at him because i'm just an a-hole like that sometimes. and yeah, it just hurts us, i know, too. but i'm just so contrary when it comes to people telling me what to do. just asking nicely changes all of that (boyfriend has yet to learn this)

IsobelRose22
03-05-2014, 01:53 PM
Hi Alabama-Yep that sounds about right. I spent my childhood being asked whether or not I should be eating certain things, and it was always followed by 'the look' that raised eyebrow, superior, questioning look. Boyfriend has learned not to even mention it now. I imagine that with time yours will also learn the same lesson. He accepts that it's my issue not his and that I deal with it better by myself without anyone else's input. Bit harsh maybe, but that's the truth of it. I find that if people directly challenge me that it all goes horribly wrong, but if it is said nicely, as constructive criticism or an alternative suggestion I respond better.

canadjineh
03-05-2014, 02:08 PM
Tell your boyfriend that the next time he sees you doing the chain snack, to nicely ask you to go for a walk with him and hold his hand. I know it sounds corny, but it will get you away from the fridge and cupboard and actually bond you together. He has to actually be 'man' enough to hold your hand though, lol. Go for a 30-45 minute walk and when you come back you will feel waaaay better. It worked for us.
Only problem is guys his age aren't usually blessed with much insight, they just shoot straight from the hip - and do not put brain in drive before engaging mouth. :foot:
Liana

Radiojane
03-05-2014, 03:26 PM
I've been called out on several occasions by my boyfriend, and I get uber defensive and pissed off. For him (and most men), it means nothing more than them being helpful, but as women I think we turn it in to an attack on our self worth, an attempt to control us, and on and on.

Sometimes bringing the issue out into the open is all it takes. Good luck!