Chicks in Control - Binge Free In March




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mainecyn
03-02-2014, 06:31 PM
We made it thru February! Thank goodness it was a short month. I hope everyone is doing ok. I Haven't been on much, but Ive been thinking about the thread and how we are doing constantly.

I am still binge free. Its crazy, but its true..no binge eating.

However, while not binge eating I have found that no weight is coming off, and in fact I'm positive Ive gained. I notice things that weren't there before, extra poof above belly button that wasn't there. I haven't dared step on the scale. In all honesty I am afaird to weigh myself because if the weight is up like I think, I'm afaird I will resort to old habits and it will send me off into eating.

I don't know what to do with myself. :?:


LittleMissNiki
03-02-2014, 07:56 PM
We made it thru February! Thank goodness it was a short month. I hope everyone is doing ok. I Haven't been on much, but Ive been thinking about the thread and how we are doing constantly.

I am still binge free. Its crazy, but its true..no binge eating.

However, while not binge eating I have found that no weight is coming off, and in fact I'm positive Ive gained. I notice things that weren't there before, extra poof above belly button that wasn't there. I haven't dared step on the scale. In all honesty I am afaird to weigh myself because if the weight is up like I think, I'm afaird I will resort to old habits and it will send me off into eating.

I don't know what to do with myself. :?:

hi uv done so well-congrats on ur acheivments so far!iv managed to do 7days binge free but have wanted to eat junk badly-literally just tryin to find things 2do to distract myself from cravings!its weigh in tomorro morn so will c what my result is after gaining 6lb last week from my binge wknd-so frustrating that it taking so long to reach my goal this time around...things could b worse i suppose..mainecyn-i admire u for being binge free for so long :-)

mainecyn
03-02-2014, 09:14 PM
hi uv done so well-congrats on ur acheivments so far!iv managed to do 7days binge free but have wanted to eat junk badly-literally just tryin to find things 2do to distract myself from cravings!its weigh in tomorro morn so will c what my result is after gaining 6lb last week from my binge wknd-so frustrating that it taking so long to reach my goal this time around...things could b worse i suppose..mainecyn-i admire u for being binge free for so long :-)

7 days! That is wonderful, you are doing so well and working so hard. I still want to eat garbage at times, I really do. The more stressed out I am the worse that feeling is. I try to just ignore the thoughts but they are always there, sometimes just louder than others. I keep trying, at times its hour to hour, maybe minute to minute to be honest. I find myself freaking out at the idea that I have continued to gain.

In my mind I always told myself if I could just stop the binge eating the weight would drop off.:?: Its not doing that at all. All I keep doing is looking in the shower or mirror at the saggy skin, the butt, my waist, my legs, I swear I can feel the inches add up every couple seconds. Thank you so much for the encouragement, really. I am ok binge wish, but self esteem wise and depression, well its setting in and I don't know what to do. I keep having thoughts of so many different things, exercise, diets, surgery, anything. That is so sad.

41 days, I think? Well, its an accomplishment, that's for sure..but I thought I'd feel better about myself, I really did.


LittleMissNiki
03-03-2014, 09:28 AM
7 days! That is wonderful, you are doing so well and working so hard. I still want to eat garbage at times, I really do. The more stressed out I am the worse that feeling is. I try to just ignore the thoughts but they are always there, sometimes just louder than others. I keep trying, at times its hour to hour, maybe minute to minute to be honest. I find myself freaking out at the idea that I have continued to gain.

In my mind I always told myself if I could just stop the binge eating the weight would drop off.:?: Its not doing that at all. All I keep doing is looking in the shower or mirror at the saggy skin, the butt, my waist, my legs, I swear I can feel the inches add up every couple seconds. Thank you so much for the encouragement, really. I am ok binge wish, but self esteem wise and depression, well its setting in and I don't know what to do. I keep having thoughts of so many different things, exercise, diets, surgery, anything. That is so sad.

41 days, I think? Well, its an accomplishment, that's for sure..but I thought I'd feel better about myself, I really did.

that is amazing!u deffo should feel good but i know its easier said than done...no one can really understand what different ppl go thru no matter if experiences r similar-just remember tho-41 days-U ACHEIVED THAT and no1 can take that away from u-whether u losing weight or not u still havent given in which is the main thing to b happy about :-) do u follow any sort of eating plan to lose weight?i follow my own one that i adapted to suit me after yrs of trying diff ways to lose weight as being type1 diabetic affects weight loss-with following my diet prop this week i managed to lose 9lbs and 2inches from my waist which is good but really iv lost 3lbs as i gained 6lbs last week from my food binge last wknd but its progress anyway-im on the right track now so its given me incentive and i even enjoyed my workout this morn and i hate exercise but it always makes me feel better after!im now hopin to lose 3lb a week till my target but that might b a bit unrealistic,so watever i lose now im happy-as long as ur happy dont let anyone bring u down-we can do it!stay positive :-)

MeganTheMushroom
03-05-2014, 08:24 AM
I haven't been coming on here as much as I should, but I've been doing well.
I made it to day 7 when I decided to start back from Day 1 due to mindless after-dinner snacking. I wasn't binging, or if I did, I would stop myself before anything got too crazy. It was just getting messy, and i felt like I was letting too much slide and letting myself off easy.
The past couple of days have been really good though. I've lost about 5lbs of water weight since the weekend too, and am now back to my normal weight when I'm not binging.

mainecyn- I know how scary stepping on the scale after you know you've gained can be, but I suggest you go for it. Of course everyone is different, but I've learned with myself that if I'm not weighing myself regularly, I will eat too much and not care if I gain because there's no way to really tell. When I'm on a binging streak or a mindless snacking phase, I often won't be weighing myself because I don't want to see the damage done. But if I'm weighing myself, I often make better choices, like dragging my butt to the gym (I really do need to do this)

orangesmartie
03-05-2014, 04:05 PM
Hi All,

I'm still binge free. I should go and work out how many days. Its not been on my mind so much, but it is still there, but i am ignoring it.

I also have less opportunity as I am currently living with my partner and just got a new job, so we'll see how things go.

Cyn, you're doing amazingly well, so keep at it!

LittleMissNiki
03-06-2014, 01:57 PM
well done to every1 4ur acheivments!im now on day 11 binge free and weight is coming off so im happy and motivated which is good!still craving lots of food but just trying to get past it-im goin till mothers day and taking mum 4 dinner so that will b my 'treat day' then providing im at my target weight,i will b doin some days diet and some treat days to try and maintain-and will b doin my workouts all the time!taking it 1day at a time and not stressing myself out about reaching targets,just setting goals as an incentive-hopefully this is a good strategy..!time will tell!well done again everyone :-)

jendiet
03-07-2014, 11:16 PM
Well February is gone. I did not make all the goals I set for myself. But my new mantra is "progress not perfection". I did fairly well considering my life is hectic and my emotions are everywhere with relationship problems and stress from my teenager.

AlyssaFit4life
03-08-2014, 12:31 AM
Hi would you guys mind if I joined in? I need help controlling my binges :(

mainecyn
03-08-2014, 02:28 PM
Well, still binge free.

i went into the dr yesterday due to a cold and ended up being told I had gained more weight. 186.However, he thinks the extra few pounds are due to the fact that my blood pressure has gone way up.He asked if I had noticed any changes and then remembered that for over a week my rings haven't come off my fingers, ankles swollen etc. Dr says that is the new extra few pounds, however my overall weight is still up 30 lbs from a year ago. I go back on the 13th, if still high he will add a blood pressure med until it comes down.

For me the extra weight is what always causes it. I have a family history of high blood pressure so when I get heavier:( the weight comes on and the blood pressure goes up. He isn't too upset weight wise but mentioned it several times telling me to watch it, my blood sugar levels are continuing to go up as well. Before I lost all the weight I had in the past i was on meds for blood sugar and pressure.

I was a mess and I'm heading that way. I can't keep gaining. I don't understand why I am. I did bring up to him that I haven't exercised really all winter, my back injury has been horrendous the last couple of months, no walking at all, so I'm basically just working and occasionally going to the store . I usually walk all year long but I am in so much pain all I am doing is running to the chiropractor lately.

I am trying not to focus on the weight or the way I look to much but it is depressing to be honest to see that saggy butt and thighs now, it wasn't that way before. I try to not dwell on it and remind myslf that it will go away and not get worse, then that voice in my head gets going and I try to ignore it, no eating wont feel better no matter what it says to me, I have to believe what I know is true and not what that voice tells me..but the weight just keep piling on.

mainecyn
03-08-2014, 02:34 PM
now on day 11 binge free and weight is coming off so im happy and motivate

That is awsome!~ You should be so proud of yourself. I'm glad you are seeing the results as well. It is easier to be motivated when the weight goes down as well.


Hi would you guys mind if I joined in? I need help controlling my binges

Please do. We all need support and encouragement. I have learned so much from what everyone shares. I thought i was alone for so long.

I am battling this respiratory infection and feeling miserable. Guess one thing about being sick is you really don't think much about food, right? I keep telling myself not to think about it but after watching my eating so much, and doing so well, I can't help but think about no weight loss. I mean March 19 will be here soon and its several months without binge eating.:?:

"progress not perfection".

This sure sums up what we all need to focus on. Every minute of every single day is progress, right?

orangesmartie
03-09-2014, 08:16 PM
Hi All,

I'm still doing well, its been about 3 weeks now. Don't really know whats changed. But i now have a new job, which i start next week and I am moving in with my partner on Friday. So we'll see how things go.

Keep up the good work Cyn, i know you're not seeing losses yet, but just keeping binge free is such an achievement.

Hi Alyssa :)

Great mantra Jen :)

worththeeffort2
03-09-2014, 08:30 PM
Still binge free after four months. Sometimes it seems such a monumental accomplishment, I just want to cry. Sometimes the effort to stick to my program seems overwhelming. Sometimes, I'm living moment to moment. Sometimes I feel fiercely angry and just want to scream. Sometimes, I feel the tranquility of satisfaction. 55 pounds gone, 77 to go until I reach my first goal.

MeganTheMushroom
03-10-2014, 12:07 PM
Today is Day 2 for me!
I've been doing really well lately. Though, Saturday I decided to take a cheat day and wound up eating too much peanut butter with bananas and lo mein. I made up for it yesterday by spending a few hours snowshoeing and eating pretty lightly. Today is busy, I just need to make sure to eat something super nutritious for lunch :)
Good luck this week everyone!

ShaMac
03-10-2014, 03:10 PM
Hello, I would like to join you all. I have decided that binging is no longer a part of my diet. It's only the second day since I made that decision, so I sure hope it sticks.

LittleMissNiki
03-11-2014, 06:26 AM
nice to c everyone doin well and to c everyones experiences-it really helps :-) iv now done 15days binge free thats not been easy but just trying to look ahead and think of what im acheiving for myself-and iv lost 10lbs so far so hoping it wont take long to lose the last 8.6lbs but not going to worry about it-wen it goes it goes!
wen i do reaxh my goal i then need to work out how to maintain my weight-anyone got any advice on that?
thanks everyone and glad we can help each other :-)

ShaMac
03-12-2014, 01:52 PM
Last night I caught myself before I let things get out of hand. I was feeling some type of way when I left the gym that put me in a not so good mood. Anyway I probably ate more than I should have but I didn't binge. I also noticed that I was full after dinner but not stuffed, so I'll call it a victory but it was hard not to cram all my emotions down my throat, then I thought about having to start all over and changed my mind.

PintSizedTerror
03-12-2014, 09:57 PM
I'm going to join in, if that's ok. I'm really struggling and it's packing on the pounds like mad.

mainecyn
03-13-2014, 02:05 PM
I'm going to join in, if that's ok. I'm really struggling and it's packing on the pounds like mad.



You sure can. Glad you found us.

Dr yesterday and two more prescriptions one a mega antibiotic and a steroid..these I add to the steroid nasal spray and this new antibiotic to do what the last couldn't..I will take it for 10 days. Ive been ill since last Friday, home and off work. I was getting worse instead of better and finally yesterday went back to Dr after 5 days of being sick...phenomena (walking) and an intense sinus infection...yucky tonsils and swollen lymph nodes..I had practically. Lost my voice the day before and was coughing blood. Husband said GO BACK TO DR. So, after my Dr first told me it was a viral type issue and a cold, turned out to be a major illness within a few days.

I am still binge free, ok bit get this. In the 5 days since seeing the Dr I weighed in almost 3 pounds heavier. :?: I'm lost, I don't get it anymore. I'm sick and depressed. How is this happening? When I binged I would gain and then lose it. Now, I don't binge and I keep gaining, and I'm eating healthy. If I felt better I might dwell on it and start eating badly but. I'm trying to forget. Advice? The Dr had already lectured me last week over all my gaining, the 30 lbs, and then to gain MORE I wanted to hide.

Lets see, this week ive been off, bills going thru roof, x still not working g and no child support since Dec. My husbands child support has been raised so our income dropped even more, my kids needed shoes, I had to pay for my two Dr visits and tx thank goodness insurance helped, and daughter tested me during the afternoon the over day asking if I knew why her dad was in jail? Typical week..hes serving out the last of a Dui sentence after he failed probation...hes been off from work due to injury since Dec and has argued for months that support was taken out of his workers comp then it was all his case workers fault and he had been calling her etc..Friday he tells me its not his fault because he had been trying to reach his case worker for weeks and wont call back..then in the next breath he says well I found out I don't have a case worker..make up your kind. Then he wanted me to sign a letter for chide support saying he had been paying support directly to me outta his workers comp money..told him no. Well, I wasn't his best friend anymore after that, gee he even promised to pay me the support eventually all I had to do was sign the letter. I don't think so.. no, no stress this week.

ShaMac
03-15-2014, 09:14 AM
Wow Mainecyn you have a lot going on right now. I certainly hope you feel better soon and I'm so glad you didn't fall for signing that letter:). As far as your weight I can't understand why you would be gaining if your eating healthy. Are you snacking throughout the day or maybe keeping your portions in check?

As for me I haven't been doing so well with the binging:(, but I will not give up. I will keep coming here to feed off all of you guys inspiration. Hopefully one day real soon I will have it under control.

mainecyn
03-15-2014, 11:00 AM
Wow Mainecyn you have a lot going on right now. I certainly hope you feel better soon and I'm so glad you didn't fall for signing that letter:). As far as your weight I can't understand why you would be gaining if your eating healthy. Are you snacking throughout the day or maybe keeping your portions in check?

As for me I haven't been doing so well with the binging:(, but I will not give up. I will keep coming here to feed off all of you guys inspiration. Hopefully one day real soon I will have it under control.


I have been trying to find a happy medium, most days since I work there is no snacking at all. I will eat something either in the a.m. or lat morning early noon for lunch..then there is nothing till dinner. When I gained on that, I purposely tried eating three meals and two snacks (veggies or fruit), and I still gained..no grains, flours, or sugar. I am hoping my body "comes out" of this at some point. I figure I have totally screwed up my metabolism leaving my body unsure of what is going to happen? I am eating low carb again (all this week), no fruit, plenty of veggies, lean protein. I also have cut out my coffee with cream. I have cheese left, thats about the only other thing I could cut. I am in ketosis (burning fat) the strips say. So, I guess I am doing something right, just no results yet.

As for me I haven't been doing so well with the binging, but I will not give up. I will keep coming here to feed off all of you guys inspiration. Hopefully one day real soon I will have it under control


You will! I am still counting my days and not at all sure how I did get this far, Jan. 19th the 1st binge free day, and here it is almost March 19th. I suppose eventually weight will come off, my body will adjust, and I wont turn to food for stress or emotional relief.

worththeeffort2
03-15-2014, 11:07 AM
Mainecyn, it sounds like you're going through a lot but congratulations for not giving in the ex's request to basically sign off on receiving any child support. He sounds like a real tool. Keep the pressure up on him. His child needs shoes. Just keep reminding him of that.

Sorry to learn that you've been so sick. I had something similar that went on 4 weeks before the antibiotics finally took hold and I started feeling better. I've lost weight mostly because I've lost a lot of water. It sounds to me like the fluid in your lungs maybe part of what is registering as a weight gain. You're retaining fluids, that's all. Once the fluids are absorbed and processed through by your body, what looks like a gain on the scale will be gone again.

You have so much going on in your life, just staying focused and sticking to your program is tough, I'm sure, but you're doing a good job. Keep reminding yourself of that, each time you make a good choice. Give yourself that positive affirmation that you need.

I have been sticking to my program, though my calorie intake has been up by 150+/- calories over the last week. No increase in carbs but I've been relying on higher-fat meats and nut butter for not feeling like preparing salads and other vegetables. I need to get back to low-fat meats and stop eating almond butter. Now that my sinus infection has cleared up and I feel better, I'll start my workout routine again this weekend and spend time prepping low carb vegetables for the week ahead. With any luck, that will boost my weight loss over the coming week.

LittleMissNiki
03-16-2014, 06:25 AM
mainecyn sorry to hear bout tough time ir goin thru-but that makes me admire u even more 4 bein so strong and staying binge free!im now on my 21st day binge free from junk but still not cut down completely on having too much fruit!but my theory is that better than chocolate isnt it..?!im slowly reducing my portions of fruit to no more than 2 servings a day as i find anymore than that can make me gain or not lose anything-i assume thats my type 1 diabetes-which is a shame as i love fruit!
try not to worry about gaining as if ur still binge free ur still acheiving a lot in my opinion and i sometimes hit a plateu which is so frustrating where i dont lose lbs but then suddenly i get a good result so it makes me carry on and not fall off the wagon-its all worth it in the end i really do believe u will get there just dokt give up!
i dont know if u ever have anytime free to urself but for exercise and stress relief-put on ur favourite song full blast and "SING LIKE NO ONES LISTENING AND DANCE LIKE NO ONES WATCHING"!also if u have time to workout and u gain muscle then that will start to burn fat and u will c results-theres lots of 10min workouts available now 2!

anyway just keep goin cos ur doin so well and its ppl like u and everyone on here that i look up 2 for support!thanks you :-)

mainecyn
03-17-2014, 04:42 PM
Mainecyn, it sounds like you're going through a lot but congratulations for not giving in the ex's request to basically sign off on receiving any child support. He sounds like a real tool. Keep the pressure up on him. His child needs shoes. Just keep reminding him of that.

Sorry to learn that you've been so sick. I had something similar that went on 4 weeks before the antibiotics finally took hold and I started feeling better. I've lost weight mostly because I've lost a lot of water. It sounds to me like the fluid in your lungs maybe part of what is registering as a weight gain. You're retaining fluids, that's all. Once the fluids are absorbed and processed through by your body, what looks like a gain on the scale will be gone again.

You have so much going on in your life, just staying focused and sticking to your program is tough, I'm sure, but you're doing a good job. Keep reminding yourself of that, each time you make a good choice. Give yourself that positive affirmation that you need.

I have been sticking to my program, though my calorie intake has been up by 150+/- calories over the last week. No increase in carbs but I've been relying on higher-fat meats and nut butter for not feeling like preparing salads and other vegetables. I need to get back to low-fat meats and stop eating almond butter. Now that my sinus infection has cleared up and I feel better, I'll start my workout routine again this weekend and spend time prepping low carb vegetables for the week ahead. With any luck, that will boost my weight loss over the coming week.


I can relate, the sinus infection issue is awful. I have the last of that clearing up, as well as the lungs. What is odd is even with antibiotics, and as time passes, I've noticed that sinus wise some days are better than others, how about you? I have alot of "drainage" at times during the day while I'm active, then at night before bed my head gets stuffy again, the headache comes and I find myself in the shower again trying to let the steam and heat help. My son has major sinus pain and headache going on with the last of his cold as well. The sinuses can lead to so many issues and it seems to take a long time for it to clear up.

Great idea on getting some prep work done. I know I can eat more veggies if I pay attention to having them on hand and easy to grab. I broke down last week and purchased a bag of fresh broccoli florets. I don't normally buy them in the bag all prepared like that, but I knew if I did I would actually eat them and not leave it in the fridge to spoil. I like taking a large handful of the broccoli and I dip it in Cesar salad dressing like chips and dip. This way I am getting my veggies, fiber and vitamins. The salad dressing helps to give it some kind of taste, and the added fat helps. I could eat plain veggies 24 hours a day and they don't do much for me as far as controlling appetite or taste good without a dip. Since I eat a lower carb diet, the dip and fat are allowed. I also use pea pods, and baby carrots. I can eat the carrots by the bag full, plain, if I'm not careful.


Some of the weight gain could be more and more water weight, your right. I know I couldn't get my rings off my fingers before, and still can't. I have upped the amount of water I am drinking today and hoping it might help. Who knows. I like to think so. I have not let myself get onto my bathroom scale and analyses my weight because I know its a horrible idea. The entire weight and eating thing are tied together-if the scale goes up I am more likely to eat and binge eat out of depression.

X, well thats a subject that never gets better. I know a lot of people complain about X spouses, or how terrible they are, how crazy or self centered they are etc, but in my case it is true. I spend years in silence with mental abuse, and unfaithful husband, his substance abuse and him running all over the place at all hours of the day and night with my kids and I at home. I can remember the judge in court saying how worthless, self centered, and manipulative, he was. Lets put it this way, his mother and grandmother volunteered to speak on my behalf on why he shouldn't have unsupervised visits, or custody. When he walked out, it was 6 months before heard from him again, he also "left" his parents etc. no contact with them either. There has been very limited contact with him until now that he wants something and needs someone to take care of him. I get stressed and ticked off. He needs someone to take him everywhere..43 years old and he hasn't had a car that runs in months. I am to the point of wanting to tell him you know what, I'm not bringing the kids to you anymore. I take them to him and pick them up.

I had to spend time around X yesterday at a birthday gathering at my former inlaws last night. I was so ready to leave, listening to his crap, how he knows everything even tho the info he gives is incorrect, and his obnoxious laugh. ugh..Anyway, I sat thru this for almost 2 hours, didn't over eat, didn't obsess over it..my kids and I wished their grandmother happy birthday and headed home. I was a little stressed when I got home but I made myself really pay attention and not let the idea of eating be an answer. I always turn to food, and I can't seem to just naturally turn to anything else. I was grumpy and emotional last night even hours later and I'm afraid it kind of came thru last night with my husband.

Another few days of not binge eating. I will take it. I thought I'd really feel stronger as time goes on but I still don't trust myself. Does anyone else feel like this? I hope that eventually food wont be the very first thing that pops into my mind as an answer-happy, sad, mad, stress, etc.:?:

im now on my 21st day binge free from junk but still not cut down completely on having too much fruit!but my theory is that better than chocolate isnt it..

It is! If you have to pick I would think it is much better to eat something healthy compared to eating anything with processed sugar, right? You are doing great, 21 days. I know so many people that can not make it thru the day without eating some kind of sugar or salty fat stuff like chips etc. My husband is skinny, but he has a "sweet tooth" and eats some form of candy, ice cream, donuts, etc each and every day. What upsets me is how is it someone like my skinny husband can eat this type of garbage and a dr doesn't tell him he shouldn't or should limit it? If he was over weight they would harp on him to stop eating these things-also have you noticed socially that people are way quicker to judge people like me or other over weight people if you see them with donuts, candy etc, yet if you are skinny no one ever thinks anything about it..if I went work every day with a donut like my husband does you know for a fact that someone would think to themselves "no wonder she is over weight look at what she eats"..but my husband, every day a doughnut, sugar laced coffee, and then candy at night or dessert..

Long morning at work today as I am trying to catch up on a weeks worth of things I have sitting on my desk, and keep up with the current work as well. I worked 5 hours, then took my lunch break. I ran to the store to pick up soup for my daughter and a few items, then came home and got started on preparing dinner so it can just go into the oven when my husband gets home. I prepared a large pan of pan fried potatoes to go with it (for them), unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the counters, gathered laundry, and now I'm getting ready to go back to work.

Valkyrie1
03-17-2014, 08:42 PM
MainCyn, you are doing great. You are binge free, and that's what counts.

It was my birthday last weekend, and I binged all weekend, so today is day 7 binge free for me. It is very hard not to turn to food when we are upset, isn't it?

I had a crappy day today, and I am proud of myself for "drowning my sorrows" with sugar-free, fat-free home made hot chocolate. Wow. I can really party, can't I.

LittleMissNiki
03-17-2014, 10:09 PM
mainecyn thanks again for the encouraging words :-) i know wat u mean about ppl judging non skinny ppl and not thinking skinny ppl r unhealthy wen eating junk-thats wat ppl dont realise-being thin doesnt mean ur healthy!
my boyf eats junk all day and does no excersise at all-to me he is not overweight but the statistics say he is-i dont personally go by official statistics,if i feel good in general and fit etc and eating healthy food getting nutrients etc-so basically happy then thats better than goin by a reading on a scale!
talking of numbers i had a good result this week-lost 3lbs and 1/2 inch off my waist so im glad that im managing to make progress!shame my boyf wasnt v supportive-as usual-about my good result tho-he had a go at me about making sure wen i reach my target i stay there and dont binge to gain weight-he thinks its easy to just not eat-he dont get that everyday i want to eat what he has and more and not have to count cals etc-just told him not to b so patronising and that its my health and my body!he cant expect me never to eat treats ever again in my life!of course i dont want to binge and i know i need to learn how to enjoy food in moderation but i know for me thats goin to take time to work out...but we will all get there :-)

LittleMissNiki
03-17-2014, 10:15 PM
valkyrie1-well done on a week thats brill!and hope u enjoyed ur bday celebrations!
ur doin great so keep going!i know wat u mean-as soon as i get stressed i think of food and wat i want to eat!im stocked up with lots of different flavour teas that i have throughout the day to curb my cravings!:-)

Valkyrie1
03-17-2014, 10:56 PM
You're doing great, LittleMissNiki! Tell your bf to "stuff it" for me. :devil:

mainecyn
03-18-2014, 04:49 PM
I had a crappy day today, and I am proud of myself for "drowning my sorrows" with sugar-free, fat-free home made hot chocolate. Wow. I can really party, can't I.

It sounds wonderful. I wish I could do that kind of stuff. I have learned these past few months that it really doesn't matter if it is sugar free, fat free, etc. anything that is "chocolate", candy, or "healthy" chip type things, I eat and eat. I dont' know what the issue is except that it is the TASTE it has to be, the food itself. I have the same reaction, I want more and it kind of "wakes up" the urge to eat. I have tried for years to conquer that response, but it doesn't happen.

I have tried also just to focus on "healthy" types of sweet tasting things like fruit. I still binge on them. I don't know what it is about the sweetness but I can sit and eat an entire package of strawberries, raspberries, or blueberries, several even. I dont know what is wrong with me except if you want to get scientific maybe it is the actual sweet receptors on my tongue, the taste buds? Is that even an option? That they are oversensitive to sweetness?

my boyf eats junk all day and does no excersise at all-to me he is not overweight but the statistics say he is-i dont personally go by official statistics,if i feel good in general and fit etc and eating healthy food getting nutrients etc-so basically happy then thats better than goin by a reading on a scale!

I am blessed, or curses if you look at it that way, to have my husband who can eat anything, no matter what it is, no matter how much, candy and sugar every day, and he wont gain. The man is like a humming bird, can not keep weight on. I love the man with all my heart.

I feel totally accepted by him, loved by him, and respected by my husband. It hasn't mattered to him what my size. When I first started losing weight I can still remember my the first time my husband hugged me from behind, and his arms circled me and he could lace his fingers. He stood there holding me and said "Wow, I can remember when I couldn't do this, wrap both arms around you and hold you"..he was right. In our wedding pictures his hands were all resting on my hips, he could hug me from behind and he couldn't get all the way around me. I was always self conscious about my weight and size, but he never ever mentioned. So, I was shocked when my husband began mentioning little things like that, I never thought he "saw the weight".

While I love my husband and believe that he loves me no matter what my size I myself am overly self conscious and embarrassed by our size difference, still. He has no body fat, none whatsoever, and there is no saggy skin, stretch marks, or flab anywhere. At 53 he is still "firm" no gravity going on at all. I can't help but compare myself to him, and feel I am "less" than he is. At times my husband will come up and hug me, rub my back, or even touch my bottom and the first thing I do is think does he notice how flat and saggy my bottom is? Let me stand up straight or at an angle so he cant feel the back fat going on. Is it horrible to feel this way, to feel almost trapped, that I can't hide these imperfections from him?

I worked til lunch, ran to the store, came home to take care of my daughter that is home sick. I got laundry going, unloaded groceries, and began dinner. I put chicken Marsala on for dinner, browning the boneless chicken thighs, making the sauce, tossing in the mushrooms, its all in a pyrex dish waiting to go in the oven when I get home. I'm making rice in the rice cooker right now, everyone else will be eating that with their chicken. I have learned it is so much easier just making most of dinner the afternoon during lunch. It saves me time, and makes the time after work less stressful and I wont snack after work with dinner all ready to go.

I have to find something to eat for lunch and go back to work. I haven't eaten yet. It just dawned on me that I hadn't eaten yet today. I'm not hungry, but I better since I haven't eaten anything since dinner last night.

No binge eating, no over eating, no cravings so far for chips, candy, chocolate, etc. I am doing this. I am focusing on the positive and reminding myself that the reaction to anything is my own. If I get upset I get upset first. It is what happens after I get upset, the decision to deal with these feelings, or to immediately turn to food. I hope it this type of behavior will eventually just be a normal reaction. I want to "untrain" myself and change the behavior. I do remember this much from the brain over binge book saying that you really can change your brains reactions, that eventually those areas that respond with binge eating will fade, that those connections decrease until they eventually disappear. I don't know, sounds too good to be true.

I am not sure if it is really doing anything but I am trying to keep myself busy during "down time" at night. Last night we watched a dvd, Nebraska. Tonight, we will watch another movie, and my rule has been (for myself) no snacks during movies or tv. This is new for me. If my husband is taking a bath I no longer allow myself to eat anything at all, this used to be time I would find myself binge eating. So, if he isn't in the bedroom with me I now try to play cards on my kindle, or occupy myself somehow with anything but food. I don't want to start eating alone, it is too much like "hiding" what I am eating and not being accountable for whats going in my mouth. I know I wont over eat or binge eat with my husband in the room, never have and never will, its all about the privacy during that act of binge eating.

I hope everyone has a great day today and we make it thru the week. We can do this, right? We are doing this, right now!

LittleMissNiki
03-19-2014, 06:43 AM
thanks valkyrie1 lol iv just learnt to ignore his silly comments now and just find myself something to do as a distraction whereas as b4 i would just raid the cupboards!i know deep down he does care for me-i think he thinks im punishing myself for eating healthy-he dont understand that it benefits me and i enjoy healthy food and i dont need to eat junk that is nice at the time but not with the aftermath of weight gain,guilt,high blood sugas etc...im sure it will all work out!

mainecyn once again by sharing ur experiences u hage helped me to turn on a lightbulb in my head and i really appreciate that!thanks ever so much and pleas do believe that ur r an amazing person and ur husband loves u no matter if ur thin,short,fat tall whatever and u should try loving urself the way he loves u :-)
u said u like to have fruit-have u ever tried eating frozen fruit?my trick is i hage either a weighed out portion of grapes or strawberries from the freezer-they take longer to eat so more satisfying and u dont eat as much!

hope u have a brilliant day!and believe in urselves!i believe in u!:-)

mainecyn
03-19-2014, 03:54 PM
u said u like to have fruit-have u ever tried eating frozen fruit?my trick is i hage either a weighed out portion of grapes or strawberries from the freezer-they take longer to eat so more satisfying and u dont eat as much!

hope u have a brilliant day!and believe in urselves!i believe in u!:-)

Great idea. I haven't tried frozen fruit since last summer. I used to put it in my water or just suck on frozen berries. I had forgotten all about it. I also think it would be a better alternative than the fresh fruit. Why, because if the berries are frozen I can only eat one or two at at time, suck on them till they thaw and fall apart. This really gives you the sweet fruit taste for a long long time. This way, I'd really only be able to eat a smaller amount instead of grabbing berries by the handful and eating them (like I do right now). I bet it would work, thanks.

Well, I did step on the scale this morning. Its been a LONG time since I weighed myself. Basically after the first week of being binge free I got so depressed, seeing the numbers still going up, I stopped. Well, if my scale is correct I have LOST. I don't know how accurate my scale is anymore, compared to the drs, but after my shower this morning I got on the scale and it read BELOW 180. The scale read 175/7 something like that. Either way, regardless if my scale isn't as accurate as the dr's, it still registers a LOSS. Because, when I weighed myself before I was able to read over 185 when I looked.

Yeah, my husband loves me, is attracted to me no matter what. I often think back to when we were first together and how big I was. I used to get funny looks when we first dated because he was so "small and thin". I can even remember a co-worker who knew both of us tell me "You, you and skinny Brian?" She wasn't trying to be mean, but in all honesty we were a very odd couple if you went on looks. He was slim and very athletic. I was 248 lbs, slow and not active.

Anyway, I can remember when I lost my weight the first time and got down to the 150's a comment my husband made trying to give me a compliment, he said "Well I definitely traded up, everyone is going to wonder how a 50 year old man ended up with such a young sexy wife". He used to really really try years ago to make me more confident, would buy me books about self esteem etc. Brian never ever brought up the subject of my weight and never really noticed the looks from family and friends. When we first dated I met his siblings, at different times. His brother was polite, but you could tell how shocked he was when Brian brought me home to met him, his sisters as well. Thankfully for me, my husband judged me by more than my looks.

Well, working late again tonight, till 6. I have leftovers in the fridge for everyone to eat for dinner. I am not bothering to cook.

Daughter is still home from school today, sick.

I got off work for lunch, ran to the library to drop off items and then to the mall. I don't' shop often but I had received my "reward" cards from the department store here in town and decided to treat myself to a reward of my own. I used to really look forward to food as a reward, need to find something else. I treated myself to a new perfume, mascara, foundation, and didn't feel guilty about spending the money on myself for a change. I do have to admit I question if rewarding myself for not binge eating is a good idea? I guess its the entire "reward" aspect I might be having trouble with, regardless of which behavior I am rewarding.

I seem to really ramble lately, I don't post on any other threads consistently. This thread seems to be a daily diary of sorts. I have learned these past couple of months that "getting it all out" seems to help me. If I keep all these thoughts, feelings, etc. inside the binge eating happens.

just learnt to ignore his silly comments now and just find myself something to do as a distraction whereas as b4 i would just raid the cupboards!

You are doing so well. You are handling the stress. Its very simple to retreat to the cupboards to sooth feelings or handle stress, your "retraining" yourself just like I am. Gaining or losing weight really directly affects your relationship. I am glad you are secure in how BF feels, but promise if he does say anything negative etc ,or hurts your feelings, you stand up for yourself.

LittleMissNiki
03-20-2014, 06:37 AM
thats great well done on ur loss result!determination always pays off in the end!keep going!

at the end of the day as long as u r both happy and healthy and ur children r safe happy and healthy,then no1 else matters imo!if ppl want to waste there time judging ppl whether they know they r doing it or not then they have a big problem and just need to get a life!!

i think its good to treat urself 4 doing well-i do,4 eg if i have a good weight loss one week i might paint my nails to give me insentive!that way if i reach a goal i have pretty nails too!its the little things..!and this xmas i got clothes vouchers to spend in clothes shops which i have been saving,so wen i reach a specific weight i can treat myself to some new clothes!looking 4ward to that one..!think my next treat im planning will b a nice haircut..:-)

posting on this thread deffo helps me and its so nice hearing about each others progress-and i really do appreciate the help!

i seem to b on track so far and still got bout 2weeks till ill b taking mum out 4 mothers day and the boyf out 4his birthday-that will b 2 nice meals out in 1 week...im bit scared of ruining my hard work but my theory is as long as i dont go crazy on the other days and stay healthy then any weight gained will b lost soon enough fingers crossed-just need to stay in a positive mindset and remember that it can b fixed so trying not to get 2 stressed about it..!last summer i had a lot of weddings etc that i attended so would b off diet 4 say a wknd then go back on my plan-so id gain about 7lbs then take a few days to lose it again so in a way i was still on track...just with some bumps along the way..!does that even make sense..?!

hope today is a good day 4u and enjoy some frozen fruit!:-D

LittleMissNiki
03-20-2014, 06:40 AM
ps hope ur daughter feels better :-)

mainecyn
03-20-2014, 11:52 AM
hope today is a good day 4u and enjoy some frozen fruit!:-D

I am going to do this tonight. I dug thru the freezer and I already have a bag of blueberries, and a bit of raspberries, so thinking it might be a good treat. Last night, broke down and sliced up an apple and had it with some crumbled blue cheese. I like the tart apples, they still seem a little sweet, but the tany and crunch really is something I like. Also, since I slice them in wedges, and "dip" them in the cheese, it takes a while to eat them. I kind of think of it as the same type of physical and mental "procedure" as chips and dip. I loved it. I had looked at those apples for a couple of weeks, the kids weren't eating them. So, I did :o

I did notice this morning getting dressed that the band on my underwear no longer rolled a bit in the front, and came up more on the hips. They had fit perfectly when I bought them-30 lbs later I couldn't deny they didn't fit right. While they still are not fitting like they used to its a big improvement!

Well, today is about 57 or 58 days binge free. I honestly thought that even after two weeks the weight I had gained from the week long binge eating episodes would just fall off. I was wrong. It has taken a long time to even drop 5 pounds. It has taken twice as long it seems as normal. But, there is a positive in all of this. I used to binge 2-3 days, gain 7-10 lbs, then spend two weeks dropping the weight, and gaining a pound or two as new binges came.
This time, I have lost some weight, and not added any NEW weight thru binge eating. So, while I haven't drop 20 lbs or anything, I have come out of this so far with some control, the binge eating monster is not banging on my door or bursting thru.

I am learning some coping skills, food is not the first thing on my mind when I go to sleep, or the last thing I think of at night. I am no longer "ruled" by my drive to binge, the addiction part. I know the binge issue is still there but it feels more like recovery right now, true progress and results, instead of shaky and unsure I am developing some confidence that I am in control, not my need for food, my addiction to the binge.

Almost 60 days, it is a miracle. I haven't been this far in years. I am really also working on the other parts of the binge eating, not just forcing myself to "give" up the foods, but trying to figure out what things get me in trouble, like the eating alone, sneaking things. I have to stop that because that is part of the control.

I hope we are all having a good week, its Thursday already, wow. This week has gone fast.

Husband woke up this morning with the cold that daughter had earlier this week. He is bummed out as his school has a field trip scheduled today. They are taking the students skiing today. I tried to get him to ski last week, it was pay day so he could afford it, but he decided to wait till this week as its the last week his school makes this ski trip for the winter. Unfor. husband looked like a little kid who dropped their ice cream cone, all sulky and upset. He said he guess he will just have to stay in the loft, read books, and keep warm. :( The man never gets sick.

I am doing better. I have two days of antibiotics left to take and the pneumonia really seems to have responded to it. I still have a heaviness in the chest and lots of drainage going on, but better.

LittleMissNiki
03-20-2014, 03:46 PM
yum apples sound nice!and i love blueberries and raspberries!

isnt it great when u notice clothes fitting better!

i so admire u-nearly 60 days!that is amazing!its crazy how before i thought i was the only person in the world that went thru the viscous cycle of binge/gain/lose/binge/gain.... slower weight loss is always better in the long term as u have seen and ur doing great overall-i hope i can be as positive in the future weeks to try an also learn to enjoy treats without consuming everything in sight..!my first experience will b mothers so will c what happens then and go from there...

iv been getting a lot done today which is good-sorted out my car insurance etc so glad thats all sorted now!that keeps me busy so im not thinking about food!
im looking forard to one of my favourite meals tonight-prawn salad with walden farms thousand island dressing!i love walden farms-i order stuff online as i live in the uk!have u ever had their products?now uk as to produce sugar and fat free ice cream and ill b happy!!

i hope u all feel better soon and have a good day :-)

davina
03-22-2014, 06:06 PM
i've been binge/compulsive overeating free for 2 weeks now or so. this is the longest in years so I am keeping fingers crossed.

worththeeffort2
03-23-2014, 11:10 AM
Still binge-free but this was a tough week. My car was hit by a school bus while I was stopped at a stop sign. She cut the corner too sharp and hit the front, driver's side of my car. At first, I didn't think she was going to stop but I guess the kids on the bus told her she hit someone. It stirred up my PTSD. Without my typical reaction of sugar-bingeing to numb my emotions, I had to ride the emotional wave. It still isn't past but I'm continuing to make smart food choices and exercising when the nervous stress mounts. Needless to say, I'm a bit twitchy right now but I'm determined to make it through this experience without falling back to old habits. Just one pound lost this week but a pound down is far better than a pound up! :^:

LittleMissNiki
03-23-2014, 04:57 PM
congrats on ur acheivment so far davina thats brill!keep going!:-)

worththeeffort2 sorry to hear about ur trouble :-( ur being strong and not giving in which is great-i find myself things to do to take my mind of food cravings,even puzzles as i like them!i love herbal teas so i drink them all the time!

well i got a busy week ahead next week-various docs appts and takin my car 4 a medical!im gradually packing as me and the boyf r now going abroad to work for the summer!we leave in 3 weeks so got a few things to look 4ward to which is good!its week countown from tomorro till ill have 2days off my eating plan to take mum 4 mothers day meal and going movies ans 4food for my boyfs bday the day after that-then ill b straight back on diet plan till we leave for the summer!fingers crossed i wont gain too much for those 2days but whatever-i intend to enjoy it!

have a good day everyone!:-)

mainecyn
03-25-2014, 03:41 PM
Still binge-free but this was a tough week. My car was hit by a school bus while I was stopped at a stop sign. She cut the corner too sharp and hit the front, driver's side of my car. At first, I didn't think she was going to stop but I guess the kids on the bus told her she hit someone. It stirred up my PTSD. Without my typical reaction of sugar-bingeing to numb my emotions, I had to ride the emotional wave. It still isn't past but I'm continuing to make smart food choices and exercising when the nervous stress mounts. Needless to say, I'm a bit twitchy right now but I'm determined to make it through this experience without falling back to old habits. Just one pound lost this week but a pound down is far better than a pound up! :^:

Glad your ok. I've driven a school bus for 10 years, at times the corners can be difficult to navigate but if you have driven for a while you know what your bus can/will do. I bet you were scared. I was hit a year ago, in my bus, by a mini van that ran a stop sign. Even in my big bus I ended up with injuries:( I also have PTSD, I was hit in my car by a semi a couple years ago. Anytime a car or truck gets close to me I break out in a sweat, get upset stomach, mind and blood pressure races. Well, one thing is sure, any damage to your car should be covered by the school district insurance policy, thank goodness.

You are doing incredible with your eating, be proud. I know that any kind of accident can send a person into an emotional state. When I get nervous or obsessive, it can set me over the edge to where I start roaming for food. Any kind of comfort food, but in all honesty its usually chocolate.


I haven't posted much lately, I haven't had time to, and its starting to bother me-no input from others, no support system. You guys are the only ones I talk to about this part of my life.

I am still BINGE FREE, going strong. I have developed an obsession, so to speak, for Jazz apples. I had two yesterday. I still need to really watch the amount of fruit I eat. I sliced up two apples last night, my train of thought saying one isn't enough, and really they taste too good-sweet since I haven't had sugar. After eating the first one I was full. But, instead of stopping, I had that thought cross my mind, don't waste it, and since its sliced up it will turn brown and not be any good, so eat it. I should have STOPPED, but my taste buds were in charge. It is a slippery slope, the apples themselves were no real problem but it is the mindset that popped up, the same thing I used to do with foods I shouldn't eat, and that voice saying eat more when my stomach says I'm full. I am going to remind myself again that 1 is enough, and stop.

I haven't noticed any real difference weight wise, haven't checked. However, I am still having some progress on how underwear are fitting. Instead of being tighter on the hips (hip huggers) and curling down a little, they are "staying up" and in place. So, maybe some progress? I am afaird to step on the scale. Again, the reason behind the fear is what if I step on and the scale hasn't moved, or even worse, moved UP when I haven't binged in all this time? :?:

've been binge/compulsive overeating free for 2 weeks now or so. this is the longest in years so I am keeping fingers crossed.

Congratulations! 2 weeks is a long time and you should be proud of yourself for the accomplishment!

i so admire u-nearly 60 days!that is amazing!its crazy how before i thought i was the only person in the world that went thru the viscous cycle of binge/gain/lose/binge/gain.... slower weight loss is always better in the long term as u have seen and ur doing great overall-i hope i can be as positive in the future weeks to try an also learn to enjoy treats without consuming everything in sight..!

We are here, or "out there" I had never ever met anyone else with this eating disorder in my entire life. I felt like I was the only one, that no one understood just how crippling this was, or understood that it wasn't just occasionally over eating. My eating disorder is just as serious and life affecting as any other. Its a compulsion, it is life changing, it has left me helpless, powerless, and destroyed my self esteem and health. No one understands the amount of food, the emotions, etc.

LittleMissNiki
03-26-2014, 04:48 AM
good to hear from u mainecyn!glad ur still doing good and binge free!having 2 apples is deffo more beneficial than just giving up and going 4junk in my opinion-iv managed to cut down on my fruit now,im only eating it if my bloodsugars r low otherwise i have a herbal tea instead!
there was actually a segment on tv yday morn about binge eating and how u should seek professional help 4it-my boyf dont believe it is a prob and all in my head and that theres no excuse 4 not stopping after '1bar of choc and a packet of crisps/chips'-which is wat the girl on tv said she binged on last night-in my previous binges iv had at least quadruple that amount!he dont understand it and refuses to believe its an addiction...thats fine tho ill try get thru it on my own...now done 30days straight binge free so pleased with that!and iv lost 14lbs in that time so have been able to treat myself by going shopping with some gift vouchers i been saving!iv had a few days where i nearly gave in 2cravings but overcame them thank goodness!
looking forward to next mon and tues as going 4 meals with mum and boyf 4mothers day n his bday-bit scared about going off healthy eating 4 2days but im goin back on food plan straight after to lose watever i gain...then a week and a half after that we both going abroad 4summer to work so will have a few days off then as holiday then will work hard 4 any damage done-my theory is that surely as these treat days r planned im in control so its better than an unexpected emotional binge..?iv done this kind of regime b4 with goin to weddings etc wen i been on a diet so fingers crossednit all works out..!no harm in looking 4ward to enjoying myself with my loved ones!

have a good day everyone and stay positive :-)

worththeeffort2
03-26-2014, 09:22 PM
I have gone from wearing size 26 pants to wearing size 22 pants. I wore a pair of my new slacks to work today. It felt so good to not be wearing the same old baggy pants that I've been wearing since January. I cleaned six pairs of slacks out of the closet last night and have a few more size 26 slacks left to clear out. They'll be taken to the thrift shop that supports a soup kitchen.

Despite marking that success, I'm having a very low period. My self-esteem and self-worth are at the bottom of the barrel these days. No binges but I don't seem to be able to leave the almond butter alone. The counselor told me to skip days having the nut butter this week to prove that I can choose not to eat it. So far, I'm scoring a major fail at this task.

LittleMissNiki
03-27-2014, 05:11 AM
I have gone from wearing size 26 pants to wearing size 22 pants. I wore a pair of my new slacks to work today. It felt so good to not be wearing the same old baggy pants that I've been wearing since January. I cleaned six pairs of slacks out of the closet last night and have a few more size 26 slacks left to clear out. They'll be taken to the thrift shop that supports a soup kitchen.

Despite marking that success, I'm having a very low period. My self-esteem and self-worth are at the bottom of the barrel these days. No binges but I don't seem to be able to leave the almond butter alone. The counselor told me to skip days having the nut butter this week to prove that I can choose not to eat it. So far, I'm scoring a major fail at this task.

thats great well done on ur success!
even just trying to limit ur portions of almond butter would be progrss,so dont cut it oit completely at first just gradually have less so u still get ur fix then go from there..!worth a try!and ur obvioisly doing something right with ur results so far so believe in urself more-u can do it!:-)

pghchick
03-27-2014, 10:07 PM
I've never posted on this thread before but since I am around here I had might as well utilize the support. So I have to confess....
First I will say that March has had the least # of binge days since 2012. I am doing better and trying to be nice to myself because i know that the harsh inner critic is like a prerequisite for binging behavior. I have been more of an IE style but I try not to be the IE police because I sure do know how to make strict rules that kick me in the butt later.
Anyways, I did have a binge last night...specifically in the middle of the night. I did stop without making myself physically ill but it is the loss of control and self-sabotage that makes me feel bad. I did recover today and really fought the urge to just continue because why wouldn't you use food to soothe yourself for feeling bad for binging?! It only makes sense (insert sarcasm).

Though I would have liked to have not binged at all, at least I know that i can stop myself from entering the multiple day emotional eating behavior. Anyways, I will check back in here again soon. Wishing you well over the last few days of March!!

Shannonsnail
03-28-2014, 11:36 AM
I'm new here....yesterday was my first binge free day in a while....just wanted to acknowledge that, thanks!

LittleMissNiki
03-29-2014, 05:48 PM
well done pghchic and shannonsnail!:-D

worththeeffort2
03-29-2014, 08:11 PM
Still binge free. Went for a 2 mile walk-jog today but then ate an extra tablespoon of almond butter after supper. I ate one tablespoon at noon and was suppose to stop there. I'm still within my calorie range but disappointed that, once again, I could not seem to stick to the choice to not eat the second tablespoon.