40-Somethings - curiosity

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03-02-2014, 04:59 PM
I have been losing weight for four years. I have lost over 80 pounds. And still when I look in the mirror all I see is a fat person. I saw a therapist for eight months while losing weight and she told me it could take a long time to reprogram my brain. Does anyone else have this experience?

03-02-2014, 05:29 PM
I have a lot of experience going up and down in weight, and that happens to me almost every time. While I am gaining weight, my mind is behind the time and I feel like I am thin (and see thin in the mirror). When I am losing weight, I am much more aware of my lumps and bumps and see myself at a higher weight. It's pretty crazy.

It's a problem in both directions. It makes it harder to avoid gaining weight during maintenance and harder to feel happy with my accomplishments and know when to stop when losing weight. When I was thin for a long time, my mind did have a chance to catch up with my shape, but I'm not usually at the same weight for long enough.

03-02-2014, 05:50 PM
It's a problem in both directions. It makes it harder to avoid gaining weight during maintenance and harder to feel happy with my accomplishments I totally relate to this.

OP, I've been overweight since childhood. I understand what you're saying. I've lost 50, 75 and 100+ lbs before in my lifetime, and I never really "felt thinner" -- don't get me wrong, I know I was able to move differently, but to me I didn't feel I looked any different than when I was 300 lbs. It's a total mind game. I do find that the few photos I have at this weight fascinate me. So, I'd recommend having some photos taken that you can focus on to really see yourself.

Usually, I immediately began to bounce back up from my lowest weight, and have never maintained for any length of time. This time I've maintained a 135 lb loss (more or less) for around a year. But, it's all consuming. I still feel "deprived" and as if I'm having to try so hard just to maintain. It's discouraging to be so "into it" yet not losing. There's no payoff there, know what I mean?

I had a doctor tell me once that if I couldn't "see" my weight loss that I was doomed to regain it. And, I would say that for the most part that has been true. This time, I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails. I still want to lose more, but don't want to sacrifice more to keep losing. Hang in there!

03-02-2014, 08:22 PM
I feel thinner until I see photos then, bam! I am fat. At 5'4" I am 152-3, 145 is normal BMI. Yet I can see exactly where I could lose 45 more
Lbs from. So crazy.

03-02-2014, 08:59 PM
Shouldn't you be putting your photos up in sequence to see how much weight you've lost. Then at least you could acknowledge how much weight you've lost.

I'm only slightly taller than you and at 152 pounds i'd also still be seeing a fat person and see that i still have some way to go. But whereas once i would want to be as skinny i possibly could, now i am more accepting of imperfections. Certainly you should get used to your imperfections because you will always have them.

Are you at least able to acknowledge that you have made good progress and feel good about it?

This time around, i've so far lost about 20 pounds and i am feeling soooo much better about how i look. I don't want to stop here though.

Also have you done any toning exercise to build muscle. Maybe a form of exercise like yoga would be good for you since it works on the mind as well as the body. And take up mindfulness meditation. This should help you become more accepting and learn how to understand yourself better.

A good one for toning and body awareness is iyengar. You could mix it up with Ashtanga for a more of a cardio work out.

I like iyengar because you work on perfecting the pose which maximises what you can gain from it, the teachers are highly trained and qualified. Strength and flexibility seem to be the key elements but even standing on your head is quite a cardio exercise if you ask me. Although still you have to work quite hard to maintain the pose.

Ashtanga, the class i went to was fast paced and you just have to learn by keeping up and keeping going. So its the antithesis of the former but still no doubt good for you.

Most yoga classes are 1.5 hours long. They usually finish with a 10 minute relaxation-meditation session at the end. This part is good in many ways and makes you come out feeling wonderful.

03-03-2014, 03:45 PM
I don't have this problem so much because I've become much more active. I'm still waaaay overweight, but all I can think of is 'wow, now I can run for the bus!' Or climb stairs, keep up with my kids, whatever... And I'm a lot less jiggly from lifting dumbbells.
Also, I spent about 15 years fat but not dieting, learning to accept my body- this might be why I see it kind of clearly now?

I might have a different answer in another year when I'm closer to 'normal,' though...

Chubby mum
03-03-2014, 09:56 PM
I think getting fitter will help too. Then it becomes all about what your body can do.

I'm the opposite to you all - when I'm chubby after babies I still think of myself as slim and get really surprised when I see photos. When I'm back to normal I feel like "myself" again. I have very little that fits me at this weight so the thought of wearing my normal jeans etc is very motivating.

03-09-2014, 01:13 PM
Added some movement. Went out and bought a dress for a party. It was a size 10, which 4 years ago I was a size 24. I could see a hint of collar bone. I was very excited.

03-09-2014, 05:29 PM
Fantastic! Have fun!!!

Martha L
04-12-2014, 08:34 PM
And always say "I love you (your name here).

Martha L
04-25-2014, 06:14 PM
I'm here again because I find that talking about my eating problem helps. I'm curious about this web site. I will use it to tell you everything I need. If you want me to go to another place, I will. I don't want to frustrate anyone. Love ya!

Martha L
04-26-2014, 12:25 AM
Hello. Martha L here again. I have to share my thoughts right now. I am still in the dark about this website but I am doing what I need to do. I want to eat more almond cookies! I'm okay now.

04-26-2014, 01:39 AM
A weight battle is a hard one but keep focused and use this site for support.

05-03-2014, 12:39 AM
I'm still expecting my behind to knock stuff off the table or counter, but am slowly getting used to being able to squeeze through smaller spaces and curl up in a chair.

Not to scare you, but sometimes now I look at photos and say who's that old lady, I don't look like that :lol:

the trouble with photos is they can lie just like statistics. There's so much that can be from the angle, the lighting, etc.

I'm a size 10, too Abbi and close to your height, a little heavier, of course we're all built differently, I've been working on fitness goals such as c25k, 12 week exercise program, etc, it's really helped with feeling better, healthier and stronger.

I just finally bought a belt today because I see myself in the windows at work and realize I need to tuck my shirt in, not hide under it...

Wishing you the best :sunny:

Mrs Snark
05-03-2014, 09:51 AM
Not to scare you, but sometimes now I look at photos and say who's that old lady, I don't look like that :lol:

Me too, gah!

05-03-2014, 11:30 AM
I've had a hard time seeing that thinner person. Even seeing before and afters of myself I was more inclined to see the "before" picture as someone completely different (sounds crazy but my face looks SO different after losing weight I look like a different person) anyway...I think what really opened my eyes was seeing myself in a group shop. The shot included friends who are all happy normal sized gals and I was shocked to see...well...I was a happy normal sized gal too! I still have 15 lbs to lose but I finally realized that I'm no longer that morbidly obese girl I had been most of my life.

05-06-2014, 12:09 AM
I just constantly see all the fatness... Slowly but surely it's getting better but still very difficult adjustment.

Mrs Snark
05-06-2014, 07:40 AM
I wish you could see all the hotness! You've worked so hard for it!

05-06-2014, 09:46 AM
Thanks! My mom suggested I do one of those boudior photo shoots. I am considering that as my 100 lb reward.

05-07-2014, 02:29 AM
I am close to you in height and weight and I still just see the flab. I fit into a size 8 jeans and still look down and see jiggly legs or a flabby waist! I have to be reminded of how far I have come. Yes there is still work to do mentally and physically. My personal trainer wants an "after" pic and I think you must be kidding! I'm not "after" yet! Sometimes I think your mind sees your body that way because it's what it's used to. It's an odd thing. But just keep reminding yourself how far you have come because you have done very very well! Fight those negative thoughts! It's hard but look what you've accomplished already!

05-25-2014, 08:05 PM
Last day of my girls weekend. They took me shopping bad picked out my new outfit. Feeling good and back on track in the morning. 7 more lbs!

05-25-2014, 10:27 PM
Hot stuff! ;)

05-25-2014, 11:10 PM
You look awesome!

05-25-2014, 11:48 PM
Thank you :)

06-08-2014, 11:04 PM
Me 95lbs ago

06-08-2014, 11:06 PM
5 more to the 100 gone for good

06-09-2014, 10:33 AM
Wow! You have come a long way and look great!

06-09-2014, 04:37 PM
Awesome Abbi!! (Hm, new name?)

Mrs Snark
06-10-2014, 02:11 PM
Whoo hooo! Gorgeous pictures!!! Fantastic!

06-10-2014, 03:44 PM
I had the opposite problem with accepting your weight. for the 3 years i have been looking in the mirror and saw there a slim girl i used to be((( The time should pass for your to accpet your body that is true! For me the great help was an old clothes. Maybe you need to try clothes that were too tight for you. when you understand that those clothes look great on you now, you can change your mind