Weight Loss Surgery - Food Funerals and gaining before surgery

02-26-2014, 04:57 PM
Hello to all! I am new. My WLS journey has been a good 2-3 years in the making. DH and I always seem to be on different pages. He watched his mom have RNY when he was in his early teens. She lost 80 lbs, but gained all and more back. He has always had a negative view of WLS. A few years ago I started a job and one of the ladies near my desk had the lap-band. Another lady next to me was in the middle of the process for the RNY. They discussed stuff all the time and I got interested and excited. DH on the other hand was just not ready. Now the tables have been turned. DH works with several guys who have had or are in the process of having WLS. He's getting excited, encouraged, and is ready!

So (baring no complications with our EGD or pre-op testing) we are having the Sleeve on March 14. We went back and forth, pros and cons, of doing it at the same time. But ultimately we wanted to walk thought it together, side by side.

Here's the problem: food funerals

Me "what do you want to do for dinner tonight?"
DH "idk, how about Chinese, because we really can't have our favorite chicken fried rice and crab ragoons that after the surgery"
Me "ok..." (like he really has to twist my arm)

Now I've gained a few lbs. Nothing major, but I'm concerned. We cannot keep up this habit. But it's so hard! All I want to do is eat rice and bread and chocolate since those things are pretty much no-nos post-op.

I guess I didn't expect to be dealing with head stuff pre-op :(

03-23-2014, 03:11 PM
How did it go?

03-23-2014, 03:55 PM
wow quiltn. that's A LOT to be dealing with - two people in the same house having surgery at the same time with ALL that it entails?

here's my two cents. you don't need to have food funerals. And using the surgery as an excuse about making food choices isn't, ummm, necessary. healthy. in your best interests. helping either of you in your journey.

see, it's like this. the head stuff needs to be addressed NOW - and waiting until after the surgery to even start it will make the path that much more difficult.

Try thinking about the surgery a little differently. As my surgeon said, it's NOT a punishment for eating badly, but it was about my body wearing out in terms of dieting. That makes things a bit different, doesn't it?

Basically, we get a chance to literally hit the re=set button on everything we ever knew - or thought we knew - about food, and what it means in our lives, and how we use it. It's a very very emotional topic, as you well know.

So, any work you and DH can do NOW to start thinking about food differently and breaking the emotional connection with food will only help you after the surgery.

And besides, although you're not going to be able to eat large amounts of crab rangoon afterwards, you will be able to have SOME after awhile. not immediately, but you will be permitted to eat pretty much anything after about 12-18 months.

there's no need for food funerals. honest!

and one more thing - some surgeons won't do the surgery if there's a weight gain. please check SOONER rather than later....

03-23-2014, 09:42 PM
I saw a guy on YouTube that addresses the food issues you are having or had before surgery (hope it all went well).

It is "The Emotional First Aid Kit": Life after bariatric surgery. Maybe worth your while.... it also addresses when you have surgery with your partner.... and the obstacles you may face together.