Weight Loss Support - Confessions and struggles...help




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Stopquitting
02-10-2014, 03:28 AM
Hi everyone,

I've been a long time lurker of this blog, probably the last 10 years or so? I've always wanted to come post here, but decided not to since I don't want people to figure out who I am (although I don't know how they would)

Here I am 10 years later finally posting! Feels very liberating. If I may ask help from you all, I'm a 26 years old girl, 175 lbs at height 5'1 and so tired of being fat. I swear I've been trying to eat better, but I keep cheating. I make up reasons to cheat and it makes me think that maybe, just maybe I don't want it badly enough. What do I do? What do you guys do to keep going?

I see people on here who are overweight and accomplish so much, and they're mothers and fathers with families and jobs, I'm just a student and I can't even handle this? It makes me wonder if I am just meant to be this way.

I also have confession to make, I buy a lot of snack cakes, hide them and eat them while I'm "dieting", everyone around me thinks I'm doing well, and I get to satisfy my cravings and I never lose weight. I'm always letting my cravings be satisfied. Why do I do this?! What does it take for me to be diligent with my diet?!

I also have many other issues I struggle with. I live with my parents while finishing up classes (im hoping to apply to pharmacy school one day) so I don't work, and my parents always tell me to eat healthier and better, they're very supportive, but I have friends who don't understand that i can't have parties/alcohol parties or let them sleepover at my house until late ordering junk food (they've asked to pay for their food with MY parents credit cards!!-they're so rude and take advantage of my parents i feel). My parents are old, and I'm living here at 26 years old, rent free, I'm going to respect everything they've done for me, it's their house and i will abide by their rules, and even if I didn't, it's completely disrespectful of them to ask for such things, I know they wouldn't do it at their own, but they constantly ask me. But my friends don't have obligations, their parents don't care when they go out, when they're home, and it stressed me out and makes me turn to eating. I've been distancing myself from them and I feel better, I'm a loner, but I feel they wouldn't treat me this way if they respected my views and my parents. I wouldn't never do such a thing to them. Food in many ways is what I turn to for comfort, and ever since it has brought me nothing but grief. My medical tests show that I have high cholesterol, I have dark inner thighs, armpits, which my doc says could be from insulin resistance. I just feel and look ugly since I've gained so much weight.

My extended family tells me I'm unattractive, they compare me to other girls my age at cultural events, they tell me I might not get married, maybe won't be eligible too when I have lost weight, basically I'm a lost cause. I try to respect them and ignore it, but sometimes when I hear these things, I want to cry. Cry for myself and the fact that everyone else can see the same things I see wrong with me. I feel like people can usually mask these things, but I've gotten so fat, that my struggles are on display for everyone to see and ridicule. Sometimes I wonder what kind of world we live in where people can judge us based on looks, I haven't treated anyone badly yet I'm flocked with negativity everywhere. I remember telling a friend who I trusted very much my weight because I wanted help from her, and when I said "175" she looked at me up and down and said " wow I could've sworn you weighed more, good job!" I don't even know how to take that? I thought it was rude. I had an uncle tell me when I was sick and couldn't eat, " a snail eats to the snail size, the elephant for the elephant's size, so don't be shy and eat more"...these comments make me so sad. It crushes me, when my uncle said this, I told him it was rude, he said "did we force you to eat to become like that (looking at me)" so i left it alone, 3 years later I have never gone back to that house.

I'm sorry for the long post, if I posted this in the wrong place, please let me know and I can repost it in the right place. Thank you for listening 3fc, you don't know it, but reading your posts have been my savior at times when I felt I had no one understood the struggles I've been going through. Thank you and please if you have any advice for someone like me, please let me know. :hug: I want to be able to have a good life, while I'm young even though I feel old already, I want to wear cute clothes like girls my age do and feel pretty, and wear makeup and all that. But my first concern is my health, and well even if I can't be 120 lbs, being healthier is something I wish to work towards. Thank you again for listening, and my apologies for my grammar errors.


thirti4thirty
02-10-2014, 03:51 AM
:welcome:, stopquitting. It's a good decision you took. And yes, don't worry. No one can figure out who you are. You seem to have, just like many of us on here a main weight problems with weight related side problems. The little time I've spent here has shown me that we are rarely alone in such cases. You can post your doubts and problems in different sections and get the help and support you need. It is better than fighting on your own. Finding people who go through the same and yet make efforts to continue their struggle will motivate you.
I'm relatively new too. I didn't lurk that long but I also hesitated before joining the dieting family. I haven't regretted it. There's so much to take and give on the forum!
We're body twins and I'm struggling with my eating habits too. I'm 29. Let's partner up if you agree. What are your goals? Mine is to lose 60 pounds by 31/12/2014. I gave myself so much time because I'm really battling with emotional issues and I have a REAL problem with food.

xxniightmareex
02-10-2014, 04:01 AM
I am new as well. This breaks my heart because I can relate to you. It is very hard to be positive around such negativity. As I am surrounded by it as well . I will look at photos of myself and wonder why I let myself gain so much weight. I've been depressed for a very long time due to family issues and stuff I'd rather not talk about at the moment. I am also guilty of hiding away snacks to satisfy my cravings. Its all a big mess and sometimes I give up no matter how far I have gotten. :/ I just found this site a couple of weeks ago and finallt decided to post. Hoping maybe I can find someone to talk to.. Seeing as I have pretty much given up. I literally have no friends I'm just a loner too.


doingmybest
02-10-2014, 04:31 AM
Welcome! :welcome2:

I am very sorry that you are going through all of that. I went through all of the same experiences so I completely understand. :hug:

Of course, the most important thing is our health, physically and mentally. After spending most of my life overweight, here are a few things that I have learned:

1. As much as you can, minimize contact with negative people in your life. Whenever anyone starts talking negatively to you walk away. Being around critical people only made me eat more. I let go of many negative people and have been much happier. Find friends who support you and it will make a huge difference in your life. You can find many friends right here on 3FCs.

2. I believe that when someone is in their young adult years, this is a critical period in everyone's life. It is the time to discover yourself, pursue education, become established in a career, possibly find a life partner, maybe have children etc. Don't miss out on all the wonderful experiences in life by focusing on one problem. I made the decision in my 20s that no matter what my weight was, I was just going to do what I love. I focused on developing myself instead of limiting myself because others don't like how I looked.

3. I was told by my parents that no one would ever want me because I am fat. I was overweight when I met my husband. We have been married and best friends for 35 years. You are a valuable person and deserve someone who recognizes your wonderful qualities.

4. As much as you can, reduce or eliminate sugar from your diet. I recently cut out sugar completely and I feel better physically and mentally. At Weight Watchers, the leader once said "sugar wants sugar". Eating sugar makes me lose control. Don't bring it into the house and it will be easier to resist.

5. I hope you can find an eating plan and exercise program that is just right for you. Start with small changes and periodically give yourself a non-food reward.

Good luck! Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Stopquitting
02-10-2014, 04:33 AM
Oh my gosh, you two have brought tears to my eyes! Happy and sad ones, happy in that in I don't feel alone, but sad that we have these issues. :hug:

But I have hope for us! I am aiming for 10lbs a month, does that sound ok? My cousin lost 14 lbs in a month, she went from 124 to 110 and she's my height. How her body works i don't know, but i know it's much harder for me. I can't even lose 3 lbs water weight sometimes, and I wonder if she did it in a healthy way. I get compared to people like her, and then they see me and wonder why 10 lbs is so hard for me to lose.

I think we could pool our thoughts on this thread and keep each other motivated? I don't use social media is any form, I really am not a fan. I had it once and saw there were groups were body building guys who talk about "fatties" and it disgusted me so I never went back. I already feel motivated! Thank you both for responding.

How do you limit your calories? and cravings? I always feel like I deserve the cheat, I deserve that "happiness" does it make sense? I have kept these thoughts bottled up for so long, this is really liberating to get out finally. I go to class at night, and come home, study, sleep, work at a daycare, then school, repeat every 5 days. I don't have money either so I can't afford to buy many fancy things sometimes, I will just eat unprocessed stuff my parents buy, which is still good, but I wonder if it is enough? My main problem is with snacking with my hidden snacks. One day i threw them away and felt awful because of the money i lost. then there are days I can eat a box entirely and not even feel gross, there is a very big problem with that!

Stopquitting
02-10-2014, 04:36 AM
Welcome! :welcome2:

I am very sorry that you are going through all of that. I went through all of the same experiences so I completely understand. :hug:

Of course, the most important thing is our health, physically and mentally. After spending most of my life overweight, here are a few things that I have learned:

1. As much as you can, minimize contact with negative people in your life. Whenever anyone starts talking negatively to you walk away. Being around critical people only made me eat more. I let go of many negative people and have been much happier. Find friends who support you and it will make a huge difference in your life. You can find many friends right here on 3FCs.

2. I believe that when someone is in their young adult years, this is a critical period in everyone's life. It is the time to discover yourself, pursue education, become established in a career, possibly find a life partner, maybe have children etc. Don't miss out on all the wonderful experiences in life by focusing on one problem. I made the decision in my 20s that no matter what my weight was, I was just going to do what I love. I focused on developing myself instead of limiting myself because others don't like how I looked.

3. I was told by my parents that no one would ever want me because I am fat. I was overweight when I met my husband. We have been married and best friends for 35 years. You are a valuable person and deserve someone who recognizes your wonderful qualities.

4. As much as you can, reduce or eliminate sugar from your diet. I recently cut out sugar completely and I feel better physically and mentally. At Weight Watchers, the leader once said "sugar wants sugar". Eating sugar makes me lose control. Don't bring it into the house and it will be easier to resist.

5. I hope you can find an eating plan and exercise program that is just right for you. Start with small changes and periodically give yourself a non-food reward.

Good luck! Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Thank you!!! Thank you for writing this, the sugar wants sugar quote really stuck with me, eliminating it will be my issue. I guess I should not try moderation then correct?

Maybe I will try one day and see how I do, I really want to be healthier and happier! I'm such a gloomy, tired, mess all the time. I want to be free, i feel like my weight ties me down with everything in life, but also because I let it. I need to be like you and not let it define me, thanks for your kind words!

Dogma
02-10-2014, 01:09 PM
Hello,
I relate to your story. I am 5'3" and was 120 lbs. When I was 23, I gained 30 pounds in 6 months (and it kept going up until I hit 170lbs), needless to say I was a mess. It prevented me from feeling pretty, going out, being happy... I was never enjoying the moment because I felt ugly, and worthless.
There is one thing I learned in the past years that changed everything and I wanted to share it with you: Losing weight is not the goal, it's a happy lateral damage. The goal is being happy and healthy.

I am sure you're wandering "what is she saying??", let me explain:
If you feel good about yourself, you'll take measures to be healthier. Simply because you care more about yourself. So you wont overeat, and you will hit the gym. it's a vicious circle, I lost weight (the big portion of it) because I felt better about myself. And I stopped thinking that I needed to lose weight to feel happy.

1- Focus on your classes: There is more to life than being pretty, I found accomplishing something brings me joy and. Professional satisfaction was refreshing. Please don't misunderstand me, professional success can be as simple as being a barista who smiles when making a good coffee. You dont have to be a NASA scientist to feel successful.

2- Please take your time: losing weight is a battle, sometime it works in months, sometimes it takes years. and it's ok. I feel prettier, healthier, more attractive (I am 36) than I was 10 years ago. I am enjoying life now, even with the extra 20 pounds left! I am still trying to lose those pounds, (again and again :(), but it's ok. I am happy anyways.
Good luck, I know you can do it.

xxniightmareex
02-10-2014, 02:00 PM
The sugar wants sugar quote is really good. It makes me not want to buy anything with sugar and have it in my home. I had breakdown last night my husband asked me to make him somethinf to eat and when I tried . I couldn't I felt sick to my stomach when I approached anything that was food. I had it stuck in my head that I shouldnt be near food That I was fat and well.. I started to bawl my eyes out. My husband had to stay with me the whole night and comfort me. :/ I hate to feel like this. It really eats me up inside. But nonetheless I am determined to start excersising and eat healthier. You all are really an inspiration I hope I can finally get back up on my feet and do this.

Stopquitting
02-10-2014, 10:44 PM
Today, I decided to throw it all out, everything in my house that is not even good in moderation. Snack cakes, diet sodas, etc. I feel a little scared of throwing out the money, but I guess if I keep it I'll have to spend money on the Lipitor I've eventually be prescribed, so maybe this is good? My parents don't use it either, so I know who will end up eating it.

Today I ate well in the morning, some oat bran with yogurt, lunch was soup, but then I ate those snack cakes and felt sick to my stomach and threw it out.

Tomorrow is going to be a new day, I've made vegetable soup to eat for lunch, and I'm making oat bran roll with egg for dinner, oat bran with yogurt for breakfast. I have a huge exam tomorrow night as well so I have eat well and go.

Thanks for all the replies, it's so nice to come on here and just write away. I've been bottling these emotions for so long. My friends haven't contacted me in almost 2 weeks, I guess they don't care since I told them not to bombard my parents home like they used to, but I think it was the right thing to do, they weren't very nice people anyway. I was 177 today sadly, but hopefully by the end of this month I will be 167? Big jump so I have hope.

Stopquitting
02-10-2014, 10:53 PM
Also, for those of you who are losing weight

I went to this site called BMI calculator (couldnt post link it said i need more posts)

and it said my bmr was 1580.75., so do I eat this to maintain correct? and to create a deficit I eat under? How much lower should I go? Like 1200? When I measure out healthy food, I feel like I can eat more of it, than a little of the fatty stuff, so 1200 would be good? I don't like to subtract exercise calories because i dont have machines that show me how much im losing.

Please let me know what you think.

xxniightmareex
02-10-2014, 10:55 PM
That's awesome. Starting off new is great I am too starting to watch what I eat and not indulge on evil little snacks . If you ever need someone to talk to Message me or I can give you my email. I'm a great listener (:

Stopquitting
02-10-2014, 11:42 PM
Thank you!! yes please feel free to message me as well! I think we have a great support if we keep each other updated. :)

novangel
02-10-2014, 11:51 PM
Go to Myfitnesspal.com to track and log your food. Start there. Track every single thing you eat making sure you don't go over your allowance and don't eat under 1,200.
Eventually incorporate exercise but relearn how to eat first. That's the most important part...and stick around 3fc. :wave:

thirti4thirty
02-11-2014, 07:19 AM
Hi body twin! How are you doing? Keep me posted.

KYgirlinSC
02-11-2014, 07:52 AM
I too am struggling stopquitting, good luck. I am struggling myself. Instead of loosing weight I am gaining...and my body type is very similar. I am dealing with some negative issues as well...and that probably doesn't help. I need to take doingmybest's advice and get rid of the negativity too.

carter
02-11-2014, 07:54 AM
Also, for those of you who are losing weight

I went to this site called BMI calculator (couldnt post link it said i need more posts)

and it said my bmr was 1580.75., so do I eat this to maintain correct? and to create a deficit I eat under? How much lower should I go? Like 1200? When I measure out healthy food, I feel like I can eat more of it, than a little of the fatty stuff, so 1200 would be good? I don't like to subtract exercise calories because i dont have machines that show me how much im losing.

Please let me know what you think.

BMR is how much you would need to maintain if you lie in bed all day and never moved. I mean that literally - any lifestyle at all, even a sedentary one, burns some calories over and above your BMR.

Google TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) to find some calculators that show different estimates of how many calories you actually burn in the course of your day.

A good place to start with calorie counting is to eat AT your BMR, or alternatively at 20% below your TDEE. I recommend you do that for a couple of months, see how it feels, see how much weight you lose, and adjust from there.

Finally I strong recommend that you NOT set an expectation of losing 10 pounds by the end of this month. Some people can lose that quickly when they first start but most do not, and anyway it is out of your control. Set goals based upon your actions - a goal to eat on plan each day this month, to avoid snack cakes for the rest of this month, etc. Set action-based goals and the weight loss will follow.

Good job throwing away the snack cakes. Every time you feel the impulse to buy them, set the money aside that you would have spent on them. When you finish your first month without them you can use that money on something you want. :)

Stopquitting
02-11-2014, 04:51 PM
Hi everyone!

I didn't weight myself today but so far it's lunch time, and I have not eaten any junk that I usually have by this time. I also have a big exam coming up so maybe that's why? I did use powdered creamer but i measure it and made sure to not go over 100 cals for it.

Breakfast- oat bran (2tbsls +greek yogurt) + poached egg
lunch -cofee with creamer + fish filet (made at home with olive oil +parsley) + 1 celery stick with 1.5 tbls peanut butter

so far this is 800 calories, too much? I feel very satisfied and no binging cravings at all!

I also wanted to let you guys know, I like to use the hip2save site now and then to save money on groceries. They posted an offer today for Lane Bryant, if you text MOBILE to 23705 they sent you a mobile coupon for $10 off a $10+ purchase! I feel excited to go buy something as a treat for staying on plan, maybe looking at new clothes will give me motivation? (and i'm using a coupon so it will really cheap and something small!) I would post the link but it says I'm not allowed to yet, if you girls shop there def google it and try it!

Hope everyone is doing well! I feel so great to have this thread to come on and talk to!

Does anyone hear recommended those polar ft4 watches? I've been saving my bday money from the last two years to buy clothes, but i never lost the weight, would this be a good investment? or unnecessary?

Thank you all for your responses, I read every one of them!!:hug:

Stopquitting
02-11-2014, 04:54 PM
BMR is how much you would need to maintain if you lie in bed all day and never moved. I mean that literally - any lifestyle at all, even a sedentary one, burns some calories over and above your BMR.

Google TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) to find some calculators that show different estimates of how many calories you actually burn in the course of your day.

A good place to start with calorie counting is to eat AT your BMR, or alternatively at 20% below your TDEE. I recommend you do that for a couple of months, see how it feels, see how much weight you lose, and adjust from there.

Finally I strong recommend that you NOT set an expectation of losing 10 pounds by the end of this month. Some people can lose that quickly when they first start but most do not, and anyway it is out of your control. Set goals based upon your actions - a goal to eat on plan each day this month, to avoid snack cakes for the rest of this month, etc. Set action-based goals and the weight loss will follow.

Good job throwing away the snack cakes. Every time you feel the impulse to buy them, set the money aside that you would have spent on them. When you finish your first month without them you can use that money on something you want. :)

That is a very smart plan!! thanks!

You're right, I should focus on trying to eat on plan each day instead, good advice, thank you!!

Stopquitting
02-11-2014, 04:58 PM
On a rather sad note, my cousin came home to visit us last night and I was complaining about my phone about the keypad being unresponsive (when my cheek hits the touch screen the call ends because it hits the end call button) so I was telling her that my phone has probably reached its time (had it for almost 4 years now!) and she tells me "i'm sure it's you fat cheeks and not the phone's fault"....completely rude!!! I told her directly I could lose a ton of weight and still have a "fat face" it's just how my face is! she looked devastated and said sorry but ugh I feel like if I don't step up and tell people when they say stuff like this, me being silent will be accepting that kind of rude talk.

What do you guys think? I finally need to grow some tough skin i think.

freelancemomma
02-11-2014, 06:33 PM
I was telling her that my phone has probably reached its time (had it for almost 4 years now!) and she tells me "i'm sure it's your fat cheeks and not the phone's fault"....completely rude!!!

It's not only rude, but makes no sense (even by rude logic standards). It's like saying the car isn't starting because the dog pooped on the floor.

F.

HuggerBunny
02-11-2014, 08:44 PM
Hi Stopquitting! Welcome to the forum! I just read this thread and would like to comment.

First of all, there's not a magic answer to what will motivate you or make you feel committed to losing weight. It seems like people who successfully lose weight have a specific thing that's motivating them. Maybe something that happened, or something their doctor told them, or for whatever reason they decided enough was enough and they decided they were ready to lose the weight.

As for losing 10 pounds a month, I think that is too lofty of a goal. 10 pounds is quite a bit! It COULD happen, but I think it would be unwise to set that as your goal because if you "only" lose, say, 7 pounds, you will probably feel disappointed and discouraged and that could cause you to throw in the towel. Remember that slow and steady wins the race. You need to make long term, sustainable changes in how you eat, and that takes time to develop and adjust to. If you do manage to drop 10 pounds a month and 4 months from now are at your goal weight, but got there by completely depriving and maybe even starving yourself, you may be more likely to gain the weight back since you didn't actually develop healthy, sustainable eating habits.

A goal of maybe 5 pounds per month might be wiser because it is attainable. That would allow you to lose weight in a healthy, slower way. You may end up losing more than 5 pounds in a month and the same 7 pounds I mentioned above would then be a bonus because you lost more than you planned for. This is my approach, at least.

One last tip- I suggest finding healthy foods that you really enjoy. I've lost 30 pounds since the end of October and have not once eaten something that I don't enjoy during that time. If you don't like it, don't bother eating it, because it may make you feel unsatisfied and want to reach for less healthy choices.

Oh and I really like the idea of saving up money you would have spent on unhealthy snacks! Get yourself a jar and put the money in there. What a cool idea!

Good work on throwing out all the unhealthy foods. I think that was a good idea for you since you seem to have a difficult time resisting them. This is controversial, and doesn't work for everyone, but I personally allow myself one meal a week where I can eat whatever I want. That usually involves pasta of some sort, a drink (usually orange juice, I'm very predictable), and a cookie or a brownie or something. So far this has really worked well for me. If I really want a food I shouldn't have, I just tell myself I can have it when my free meal rolls around. Again, this is what has worked for me, I understand that having one meal a week (or a snack or whatever) where you can have whatever you want does NOT work at all for some people and it sets off extra cravings. For some people, it works best to completely cut out the foods you have problems with or that are not good choices for you. You'll have to see how it works out for you. If you wanted to try this and chose Twinkies or whatever for your dessert, you should probably just by the small package with 2 Twinkies in it that will be all gone after your free meal is over.

So all of this is completely my opinion, feel free to disregard of course!

2jellybelly
02-11-2014, 10:14 PM
For Stopquitting. I just joined 3 fats chicks - just now, because of you. You have motivated me. I cannot believe your lack of support & love from your family - although I totally understand it. I, myself do not get much support from my family, & I myself do not really have any friends either. I am a single Mom with kids, but, really understand where you are coming from. I have more weight to lose than you. I am a type 2 diabetic. I am on lovastatin (which I would love to be off of). Maybe we can support each other. I need support. I live in the Pacific Northwest (Oregon). Exercising is not easy for me - the weather can be cold & brutal. You should have love & support. You were right to kick those friends to the curb - they were not really friends if that is the way that they felt. Thank You for listening.

Pattience
02-11-2014, 10:43 PM
You sound like such a lovely girl. I really hope that you will be able to sort this out for yourself sooner rather than later.

First off about the weight and cravings. I think you may be giving in to your cravings for two reasons. The first is maybe you are trying to cut back too hard and so you get hungry. And when you can't hold off on the hunger anymore, you get weakened and ravenous and just give in entirely. I've done that in the past. I am familiar with how one goes when one gives in to a craving and lets go completely. I also know how hunger if left too long can cause a craving.

So try to prevent the craving arising. Of course you should resist any passing little thoughts about food. And for that you have to find a degree of commitment and resolve for your diet. But second to avoid the gnawing hunger that won't be ignored, don't cut back so much. Just eliminate all the problem foods and don't go near them. e.g. cakes. Promise yourself not to eat them even if you get hungry. Eat a sandwich instead, the type with wholegrain bread that will satisfy you and is not full of oily salad creams and junk like that. Keep it a simple sandwich. Salad is best. This will satisfy your hunger and prevent a craving taking hold.

Second eat your meals closer together. Don't leave your evening meal til late and don't make yourself starve before lunch time. I eat three meals reasonably close together and if i get a bit hungry between times i will have fruit or something else that is healthy and will satisfy me.

Also, don't cut back your calories so hard. Using a fitness pal calculator or similar, work out your maintenance calories. i.e. how many calories can your at to maintain your current weight. Try eating like that for a week so you at least know what that feels like. Eat those calories in healthy nutritious foods. Then the following week, cut back your calories. When i put my calculations into the computer i asked that i lose half a pound a week or 1/4 kg per week. I said i wasn't' doing any exercise and as i don't have an active life, i just put in sedentary. This gave me a total of 1650 calories i can eat per day and still lose weight. I do not get hungry on this diet. I do have plans to exercise but i am not quite ready yet. When i am ready i will be very very careful about increasing my calories.

So by avoiding hunger in these ways you maybe able to avoid cravings.

If you are eating for emotional comfort, that's a different matter and you will have to address that by other means. But at least you can start off with optimism and that may be enough to give you the resolve to not eat for comfort. I have noticed though that sometimes when we get that depression food thing happening, there seems to be a sudden change in our brain that might be more of a chemical reaction to a negative stimulus. as a chemist you could look into this and may find it interesting. I won't go on about it but its food for thought. isn't it.

As to your family, maybe if you broke down and cried when they are being so hurtful they might feel bad and stop being so cruel. If you burst out with something like, well if you'd stop saying such hurtful things which undermine, i might be able to lose weight. Put some of it back onto them. Keep repeating that should not talk to you like that. That its cruel and they should have a bad conscience for being such beastly people. Go overboard. You've got to get them to see they not helping and make them feel like they should also change their behaviour. Eventually they may stop and if they don't, avoid them.

About those friends. You will make better ones. You don't need people around you who are going to sponge off you.

And if you find your need other sorts of support, find a counsellor at your university for support. Its good to have someone on your side. Spending time with a counsellor, over time, will make you stronger emotionally. Give you more tools and teach you how to set boundaries with your family.

Keep a food log like i do. Have a read of mine - its in the link below. Be flexible, not rigid with your calories. Forgive yourself if you slip up. Don't cry over every ounce on the scales. They fluctuate a lot daily.

When people are horrid to you, tell them they are a nasty person and walk away. It will make them think.

Pattience
02-11-2014, 11:18 PM
Further, now that i've read the thread right through i have a few things to add.

Your lunch you described. I think you can improve on that. Skip the peanut butter. Its very very high in calories. You might as well eat all that cake. Notice how many calories in a tbsp of peanut butter then compare it to something more healthy like bread and salad or eggs or pasta or rice and see how much quantity you can eat of that for the same calories. That amounts to greater satisfaction. Also peanut butter is full of salt and sugar. Its got everything. Even the oil is added and not just what comes naturally from the peanuts. In Australia we have vegemite. Its made from a yeast biproduct and although salty is low calorie. You would have similar things over there like promote or marmite. If i get caught out at a bad time being hungry i will have a piece of toast with vegemite and a bit of butter. and i find this stuff really takes the edge of my appetite.

Also eat more vegetables and fruit. One piece of celery is not much. You can eat 2.5 cups of vegetables per day. Five different sorts is ideal. I eat fruit and veggies as much as i want. You can eat a lot and they fill you up, especially vegetables.

These are the foods that help you avoid cravings: fruit, veggies, beans, meat and fish.

Things that you could be likely to overeat are highly salted foods and highly oily foods. So do not get into habits dependent on them. Cheese is an example. Keep foods like cheese and even nuts as a garnish to a dish. do not eat them on their own. I put 5 walnut halves in my salads and they make it delicious.

herbs, parsley and other little tasty things added to dishes make it interesting as does a little bit of good quality oil, vinegars, and so on.

I even use cream sometimes, and mayonnaise but i am careful with them and don't use them often.

But i use on sandwiches but try to keep it to a minimum. I avoid jams, honey, all sweets. Everything except fruit.

I do add a pinch of sugar to my cornflakes and don't eat any highly sweetened cereals.

I find in my current diet which i've been on for two months now and have done before in the past, i can eat anything i want to, except at this stage, no sweet foods. I would eat fries if i wanted to but only because i know they are not a problem food for me. If i had a habit of eating takeaway foods, i would skip that altogether because i've noticed while these foods are highly flavoured they are not particularly satisfying.

When i am in the city, i go to a decent restaurant and avoid food courts because the quality of food is low in the latter. Even the japanese food is covered in salad cream.

Its great to read that you have made progress.

Oh yes i wanted to add that 1200 calories is far far too low. You haven't told us your height and weight so i can't make any guesses what it too low for you. Lose weight slowly. Don't match goal weights to times. Just steady as she goes and take it as it comes.

Don't get into the reward thingy. Sticking to your plans is its own reward. You will find yourself happier and more beautiful as you go on. When you get slim you will need all that money for new clothes. Or basically you will need that money as you go down in weight anyway.

Also, i don't throw all my fat clothes out. I keep some for hiccups and the future so i don't have to go and spend a whole lot of money again. I don't aim to get fat again but i've lived long enough to know whats possible. I don't keep many. Just a couple of key things.

Its easier to get skinny than it is to maintain skinniness for a long time.

shcirerf
02-11-2014, 11:27 PM
:hug:

Welcome to 3fc!:carrot:

A couple of things I've learned!

1. I deserve to treat myself well.

2. It's ok to be selfish, when it comes to treating myself well.

3. Balance! On plan most of the time, but keep in mind, some days life will throw you something. Be flexible.

4. While maybe last, it might not be the least. We need to quit beating ourselves over the head. This is not a battle or a fight or a punishment. That's all negative! This is a positive! There is nothing wrong with living a lifestyle that is full of healthy and yummy foods, regular exercise, and it's ok to say NO! But sometimes, it's ok to have a small slice of wedding cake, or drink.

Avezy44
02-12-2014, 12:30 AM
I must say I can relate! When I was in school I had the hardest time losing weight. What really struck home for me were your friends. I have been keeping my distance from my "friends" lately because I grew tired of paying for everything and being taken advantage of... some of them make more money than me (and I don't make much). It's so selfish.. and it really does take it's toll. However, I think you have made a good decision coming on here and confessing to the things you feel are holding you back. One thing that has really really helped me is I have stopped allowing myself to talk about/look at myself in a negative light. It's helped me stay motivated and happier. I honestly am not pleased with how I got to where I was when I started. Oh! and one thing that really helps with the cravings is finding healthier replacements. I ALWAYS crave chocolate and oddly enough, peanut butter usually satisfies me and keeps me away from it. Your extended family probably (hopefully) mean well... my dad used to constantly tell me I needed to lose weight... it was the most painful thing... I always got so upset from it... and he really didn't mean to hurt me by it. It's really hard to tune that stuff out when it comes from the people your love (close family, friends).. But at the end of the day.. what they think is not you. You can succeed at this! Welcome to 3fc! :)

Stopquitting
02-12-2014, 02:50 AM
It's not only rude, but makes no sense (even by rude logic standards). It's like saying the car isn't starting because the dog pooped on the floor.

F.

Haha thank you for that! I agree. I am not a confrontational person at all, but I really had to say something when I heard that comment.

Hi Stopquitting! Welcome to the forum! I just read this thread and would like to comment.

First of all, there's not a magic answer to what will motivate you or make you feel committed to losing weight. It seems like people who successfully lose weight have a specific thing that's motivating them. Maybe something that happened, or something their doctor told them, or for whatever reason they decided enough was enough and they decided they were ready to lose the weight.

As for losing 10 pounds a month, I think that is too lofty of a goal. 10 pounds is quite a bit! It COULD happen, but I think it would be unwise to set that as your goal because if you "only" lose, say, 7 pounds, you will probably feel disappointed and discouraged and that could cause you to throw in the towel. Remember that slow and steady wins the race. You need to make long term, sustainable changes in how you eat, and that takes time to develop and adjust to. If you do manage to drop 10 pounds a month and 4 months from now are at your goal weight, but got there by completely depriving and maybe even starving yourself, you may be more likely to gain the weight back since you didn't actually develop healthy, sustainable eating habits.

A goal of maybe 5 pounds per month might be wiser because it is attainable. That would allow you to lose weight in a healthy, slower way. You may end up losing more than 5 pounds in a month and the same 7 pounds I mentioned above would then be a bonus because you lost more than you planned for. This is my approach, at least.

One last tip- I suggest finding healthy foods that you really enjoy. I've lost 30 pounds since the end of October and have not once eaten something that I don't enjoy during that time. If you don't like it, don't bother eating it, because it may make you feel unsatisfied and want to reach for less healthy choices.

Oh and I really like the idea of saving up money you would have spent on unhealthy snacks! Get yourself a jar and put the money in there. What a cool idea!

Good work on throwing out all the unhealthy foods. I think that was a good idea for you since you seem to have a difficult time resisting them. This is controversial, and doesn't work for everyone, but I personally allow myself one meal a week where I can eat whatever I want. That usually involves pasta of some sort, a drink (usually orange juice, I'm very predictable), and a cookie or a brownie or something. So far this has really worked well for me. If I really want a food I shouldn't have, I just tell myself I can have it when my free meal rolls around. Again, this is what has worked for me, I understand that having one meal a week (or a snack or whatever) where you can have whatever you want does NOT work at all for some people and it sets off extra cravings. For some people, it works best to completely cut out the foods you have problems with or that are not good choices for you. You'll have to see how it works out for you. If you wanted to try this and chose Twinkies or whatever for your dessert, you should probably just by the small package with 2 Twinkies in it that will be all gone after your free meal is over.

So all of this is completely my opinion, feel free to disregard of course!

Not at all, I love hearing advice, it's really great to see different things work for different people! I think I'm one of those people that needs to go cold turkey and not be reminded of those foods. You know how some people after a while dont like the taste of bad food? I have never had that happen to me. I was in my home country for one month, ate very healthy food, lost 6 lbs! but as soon as i came back here, the junk food tasted good, but today I didn't cheat!!! I still had sugar in my coffee and creamer but no store bought little cake packages!!!

For Stopquitting. I just joined 3 fats chicks - just now, because of you. You have motivated me. I cannot believe your lack of support & love from your family - although I totally understand it. I, myself do not get much support from my family, & I myself do not really have any friends either. I am a single Mom with kids, but, really understand where you are coming from. I have more weight to lose than you. I am a type 2 diabetic. I am on lovastatin (which I would love to be off of). Maybe we can support each other. I need support. I live in the Pacific Northwest (Oregon). Exercising is not easy for me - the weather can be cold & brutal. You should have love & support. You were right to kick those friends to the curb - they were not really friends if that is the way that they felt. Thank You for listening.

HI 2jellybelly, we should defintely support each other, I know we can do this, just have to approach in a way which is sustainable, that is something I have never learned how to do. Thank you for saying that about my friends, it's been hard to not have friends, but when I think of how I would make up excuses to not see them, or get out of having the drive them places, or them telling me to be the DD while they could do whatever they want, I feel like I was so blinded by how they treated me. They would come to my house and tell me "how nice I am" and ask to use my printer for their school work, but instead they would print out flyers for frat parties. I never thought people like them existed but they do. I just had enough of it. I'm old enough to be able to keep the good people close to me, and bad ones away.

I will keep updating this thread with how I'm doing and you should too! We can message and keep each other on track :) Thank you for making an account too, I feel like it's the best thing I've done for myself in a long time.

Further, now that i've read the thread right through i have a few things to add.

Your lunch you described. I think you can improve on that. Skip the peanut butter. Its very very high in calories. You might as well eat all that cake. Notice how many calories in a tbsp of peanut butter then compare it to something more healthy like bread and salad or eggs or pasta or rice and see how much quantity you can eat of that for the same calories. That amounts to greater satisfaction. Also peanut butter is full of salt and sugar. Its got everything. Even the oil is added and not just what comes naturally from the peanuts. In Australia we have vegemite. Its made from a yeast biproduct and although salty is low calorie. You would have similar things over there like promote or marmite. If i get caught out at a bad time being hungry i will have a piece of toast with vegemite and a bit of butter. and i find this stuff really takes the edge of my appetite.

Also eat more vegetables and fruit. One piece of celery is not much. You can eat 2.5 cups of vegetables per day. Five different sorts is ideal. I eat fruit and veggies as much as i want. You can eat a lot and they fill you up, especially vegetables.

These are the foods that help you avoid cravings: fruit, veggies, beans, meat and fish.

Things that you could be likely to overeat are highly salted foods and highly oily foods. So do not get into habits dependent on them. Cheese is an example. Keep foods like cheese and even nuts as a garnish to a dish. do not eat them on their own. I put 5 walnut halves in my salads and they make it delicious.

herbs, parsley and other little tasty things added to dishes make it interesting as does a little bit of good quality oil, vinegars, and so on.

I even use cream sometimes, and mayonnaise but i am careful with them and don't use them often.

But i use on sandwiches but try to keep it to a minimum. I avoid jams, honey, all sweets. Everything except fruit.

I do add a pinch of sugar to my cornflakes and don't eat any highly sweetened cereals.

I find in my current diet which i've been on for two months now and have done before in the past, i can eat anything i want to, except at this stage, no sweet foods. I would eat fries if i wanted to but only because i know they are not a problem food for me. If i had a habit of eating takeaway foods, i would skip that altogether because i've noticed while these foods are highly flavoured they are not particularly satisfying.

When i am in the city, i go to a decent restaurant and avoid food courts because the quality of food is low in the latter. Even the japanese food is covered in salad cream.

Its great to read that you have made progress.

Oh yes i wanted to add that 1200 calories is far far too low. You haven't told us your height and weight so i can't make any guesses what it too low for you. Lose weight slowly. Don't match goal weights to times. Just steady as she goes and take it as it comes.

Don't get into the reward thingy. Sticking to your plans is its own reward. You will find yourself happier and more beautiful as you go on. When you get slim you will need all that money for new clothes. Or basically you will need that money as you go down in weight anyway.

Also, i don't throw all my fat clothes out. I keep some for hiccups and the future so i don't have to go and spend a whole lot of money again. I don't aim to get fat again but i've lived long enough to know whats possible. I don't keep many. Just a couple of key things.

Its easier to get skinny than it is to maintain skinniness for a long time.

Hi Pattience,

Thank you for your detailed response! I do have to be better about the peanut butter, it was probably the most calories for the amount I was eating, so that definitely has to change. oh and my height is 5'1 and weight is 177 (im usually 175 when i checked a day ago it was 177 though)

I also want healthy more than I want skinny. Thoughts of being skinny are what motivate me though, that and the prospect of not being on medication. My family is no obese at all, but they all have heart problems, I feel being overweight in my case, puts me at even a higher risk for these diseases. My mom is on medication, aunts, uncles, I don't want to do that! I'm applying to pharmacy school now and the drug industry is a vicious cycle once you start on medication, I will try to avoid it by making healthier choices.

I ate the 1 piece of celery because it was the last vegetable I had at home to eat, I made a soup and forgot about it since it was in the freezer, it's vegetable packed so I will probably eat that! I put very little salt in it too. I need to find ways to incorporate more variety so I don't get bored. I feel that may be a problem.

:hug:

Welcome to 3fc!:carrot:

A couple of things I've learned!

1. I deserve to treat myself well.

2. It's ok to be selfish, when it comes to treating myself well.

3. Balance! On plan most of the time, but keep in mind, some days life will throw you something. Be flexible.

4. While maybe last, it might not be the least. We need to quit beating ourselves over the head. This is not a battle or a fight or a punishment. That's all negative! This is a positive! There is nothing wrong with living a lifestyle that is full of healthy and yummy foods, regular exercise, and it's ok to say NO! But sometimes, it's ok to have a small slice of wedding cake, or drink.

I must say I can relate! When I was in school I had the hardest time losing weight. What really struck home for me were your friends. I have been keeping my distance from my "friends" lately because I grew tired of paying for everything and being taken advantage of... some of them make more money than me (and I don't make much). It's so selfish.. and it really does take it's toll. However, I think you have made a good decision coming on here and confessing to the things you feel are holding you back. One thing that has really really helped me is I have stopped allowing myself to talk about/look at myself in a negative light. It's helped me stay motivated and happier. I honestly am not pleased with how I got to where I was when I started. Oh! and one thing that really helps with the cravings is finding healthier replacements. I ALWAYS crave chocolate and oddly enough, peanut butter usually satisfies me and keeps me away from it. Your extended family probably (hopefully) mean well... my dad used to constantly tell me I needed to lose weight... it was the most painful thing... I always got so upset from it... and he really didn't mean to hurt me by it. It's really hard to tune that stuff out when it comes from the people your love (close family, friends).. But at the end of the day.. what they think is not you. You can succeed at this! Welcome to 3fc! :)


Thanks for the responses from everyone! I look forward to coming home and reading this thread every night :) Today was my big test, it was rough, but I didn't buy anything from the vending machines or snack stands at school. I usually always buy something as a treat, but I decided I got through 11 hrs of the day without cheating, so why lose all that time! and if i'm going to cheat i dont want to pay vending machine prices! (honestly at school a snickers bar is $1.99!) so today was my first "clean" day in months, not much but a start?

I think all of you who are also in similar situations should come and update on this thread. I'm positive with the help of others who have lost weight we can change our minds about food choices and do better :) Apart from my parents, I don't have much support in terms of friends or extended family, I've honestly received more support from this thread than I ever had from my friends in the last 12 years. School is one place where I feel I have some freedom, professors see how I study and help me, and people in class ask me for help, but I only have that twice a week for 2 hours, it's not much.

I think I'm going to try 3 days eating clean as my goal, then maybe 5 days, then 7, then incorporate exercise, which will be walking or maybe an exercise cd? I have no money to go to a gym, even my school one charges since I'm not a full time student there.

What do you guys think of the ft4 watch? I am contemplating what to spend my old bday money on. Been saving it to buy weight loss clothes, but I would like to buy something that would motivate me, not sure if it's useful though or worth the money.

Thank you again for the replies, you are all truly wonderful people!

HuggerBunny
02-12-2014, 06:55 AM
Stopquitting, good job on avoiding your problem foods today! That is an accomplishment :) If you think it will work best for you to go cold turkey on your problem foods, by all means, do that! I wish you much luck :) For me I have found that some foods I enjoyed before no longer appeal to me. Either I just don't like them anymore, or I don't like them enough that I want to use my once a week free choice meal on them. Let me think. I haven't eaten rice, packaged cookies (or snack cakes either, actually), muffins, or chips other than plain tortilla chips at all over the past 3 1/2 months. It's not that I don't like those things, I just don't like them enough that it's worth my while. One thing that I doubt I'll ever feel inclined to have again is Kraft Mac and Cheese. I love macaroni and cheese of all varieties and have eaten the Kraft kind since I was a kid. A couple of months ago, I decided to have some Kraft Mac and Cheese for my free choice meal and ended up thinking it was pretty gross. So it can happen! Also, I've always enjoyed fruit, but love it so much more now. Even apples, which I'd always thought were kind of boring before (not bad at all, just boring).

Is there any way you can go visit a doctor and get their advice on what you should do to lose weight? You mentioned before that you have darkened skin in areas, which can be a sign of impending diabetes. My doctor is concerned about diabetes with me because I have PCOS and my blood tests showed messed up insulin levels (or whatever it is that measures that). She told me to cut out everything with added sugar, and all grains and starches. It's not low carb per se because I can have fruit (though I limit it to 1-2 servings a day, and no canned fruit or juice) and I drink milk and eat beans and lentils, all of which have quite a few carbohydrates. Really though, it would be best if you talked to a doctor and had blood tests and the like before deciding to cut out most carbohydrates.
So far I've lost 30 pounds over 3 1/2 months, including 3 big, food laden holidays.

I keep an eye on how many calories I consume, but do not worry too much about fat. Most days I have at least one serving of peanut butter, cheese, nuts, or eggs, all of which have a lot of fat. Avocados, too. For many people, consuming fat (from healthy foods like the ones I mentioned- you can get natural peanut butter or almond butter) helps make them feel full so they don't eat as much, and it helps them feel satisfied so they aren't tempted by other foods. Of course you need to keep track of how many calories you consume from fatty foods, but if they're healthy fats, many people see no reason to avoid them, as long as you also eat a lot of veggies and lean protein and have a well rounded diet.

There are so many different approaches to losing weight and being healthy, and no individual person's approach is the best for everyone!

Pattience
02-12-2014, 08:46 AM
Its true there are many approaches to losing weight. That's why its important to choose one that's sustainable for you. There's a great deal of false "facts" out there about nutrition and diet even many doctors are blinded by the false facts e.g., the australian official diet advice about things like PCOS and diabetes is not to quit grains and starches at all. In fact you don't need special foods for these conditions. You just need to eat clean, as they say around here which means not processed foods or refined foods and to eat fewer calories. Also even the science isn't completely clear. There's a lot of unknowns still about many of the subtler issues but all the basics are well understood e.g. how to avoid diseases like scurvy, berri berri and malnutrition. That to lose weight you need to burn more calories than you consume.

Anyway i wanted to add something else to your response above.

I didn't read this whole article but i think you should since its about underarm darkening and all the possible conditions. Your doctor is probably right about the insulin resistance thing and if i were you i would get him to test your for all these possible serious things. You can have your blood glucose levels tested as well the addison's disease condition. At least talk it all over in depth with your doctor. You need to take these potential conditions really seriously and watch monitor your health with it. The diabetes thing, i happen to know that its very common in a indians as they have a genetic tendency towards it. So if you are indian, you do have a very real potential to get this disease so you must be vigilant against it and look after your health properly. And you've already said your family has a tendency towards heart disease. What better incentive is there for losing weight and getting a bit fitter. You really don't need to do a great deal of fitness. Walking regularly will make a great difference. They say that one hour of walking per week (not in five step blocks) has a statistically significant improvement in the risk of getting breast cancer. So you see you don't need to go and kill yourself in the gym. But its good to try to make a physical activity part of your regular life. And its a great way to make new friends too. Doing a team sport is a good way to knock off these two birds with one stone.

http://health.howstuffworks.com/skin-care/underarm-care/problems/underarm-darkening.htm

IN the article, they talk about skin lightening creams for the pigmentation. I would not get hung up on this until you have any underlying disease issues sorted out. I know that in india skin lightening creams are all the rage these days but i don't think anything you buy off the shelf is going to make much difference. I used to work in a cosmetic clinic. I did see results from very strong treatments and lotions but in freckles, not on naturally dark skin, although it should work on that too if its from the sun or hyper pigmentation. It wouldn't work on your natural underlying skin colour. Personally i just think you have other priorities and as you say you don't have so much money for stuff. So save it till you are actually ready to wear a bikini or something like that before spending your money.

AT least these are my recommendations.

Oh an i wanted to say, i'm a bit like you. Cold turkey and total abstinence works best for me with things i have trouble with.

Sorry for going on so much.

2jellybelly
02-12-2014, 02:16 PM
"Thank You" for your friendship. I will value it. I'm glad that you had a really good day yesterday. Keep up the good work. I was doing well, until a phone call with some bad news. One of my childhood friends died unexpectedly. Needless to say, I didn't have such a good day. But, I will do better today. What type of plan are you on? I have spend many years on the Atkins program, however being over 200# - obviously hasn't seemed to help me. When I started Atkins years ago, I was about 170#. Very frustrating. I want to just be normal, do you know what I mean. I'm not looking to be a model, just a normal size person - with some energy would be nice. Now, if I could just find some exercise that I enjoy - urrggghhhh!!!!! I hate exercise & I hate sweating - lol.
Let me know what you are doing & how you are doing. Continue to be yourself, & don't let other people change you. Life is too short....:hug:

Stopquitting
02-12-2014, 04:21 PM
Hi Pattience,

I am mixed (Mauritian and indian) but yes i've heard that there is a tendency for darkened areas. My doctor has done blood tests and told me my only worry really was cholesterol, sugar was controlled, but my weight and cholesterol were immediate concerns. I wonder if they go away with weight loss? He didn't have much of an answer for me except to try creams but primarily losing weight is the reason they start darkening. Thank you for the suggestions, I will look into it. I have a very simple treadmill at home that I will use to walk, it only shows distance and speed, so that should be ok i think.

2jellybelly-My deepest condolences to you at this time. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, those things are always difficult to deal with. I hope you give yourself time to grieve, I think that's really important.
I'm basically calorie counting and staying away for white carbs (cakes/pasta/rice) even wheat since i don't care for the wheat taste. I basically eat veggies and a side of protein for every meal, minus breakfast. I eat oat bran and flaxseed (it's kind of like oatmeal) but it keeps me full for awhile and only around 200 calories.

I know exactly what you mean! I have been 200 lbs too, I could barely walk without being tired and I'm short too. I lost a bit here and there after leaving college but i haven't gotten down from 175, and i still am very unhealthy, but I was 175 today 2lbs down from 177lbs. Good start I think? Are you following any specific diet right now? I got some of my meal motivation from this girl

http: // instagram. com/ myweightlossfr

She has lost so much weight, I know we can do this too! It's just getting through day by day. It's amazing what motivation does, last week I was so down in the dumps and after this thread I have more support than I can imagine. I think with resources here we can really do it :hug:

How about just walking in place? You know I've been reading this forum for years and I know people have lost weight without exercise. I would rather incorporate something little though, just because I am really really weak!

HuggerBunny- I can't until the day comes where I don't crave/desire junk food! My doctor as of now told me cut down my carbs and increase my vegetables. My good cholesterol is low and bad is very high, so I also have to incorporate exercise. Funny you mentioned apples, apples make my throat itch like crazy, but I do like bananas and blueberries? I can eat more vegetables than I can fruits though, not much of a fruit person.

Today I have eaten oat bran+ flaxseed for breakfast -200 calories
Lunch -grilled chicken with side of green beans-350 cals I also had some potato wedges though :( but I measure them out and it was 60 calories, and my coffee which was 130 calories, so I'm at 738 as of lunch time.

I'm planning to eat steamed green beans and tuna for dinner, and keep some almonds around for snack. It's also crazy how much more money I spend on healthy food! almonds, green beans all cost so much more than I would spend on boxed packaged foods, but i know it's healthier! Thank you again for letting me vent away on this thread, hope everyone is having a good week. 2jellybelly dont lose hope! check the instagram link i posted, she is amazing motivation! (i had to put spaces because it wouldn't let me post the link directly!)

Stopquitting
02-12-2014, 05:37 PM
Hi again,

So I measured out how much sugar I put into my coffee, and I fit 2 cups of coffee in my mug, and add 2tsps NESCAFE dark roast, and then add 2tbsp sugar, is that too much? I'm adding so much more sugar than I am coffee!

2jellybelly
02-12-2014, 05:44 PM
Yep, I hate to say it - but 2 tablespoons per mug of 16 oz coffee? That does seem like a lot of sugar, at least to me. I use stevia in my coffee. I get it at Trader Joe's in the powdered form. It's not cheap, but, supposedly it is not suppose to have any side effects. Thank You for your kind words in regards to my childhood friend. It has been tough. I am trying to eat healthier & make healthier choices. Seem like the Atkins & Weight Watchers that I have been on through the years (mainly Atkins) - have really done & taught me nothing. I did check out the website that you sent me. That gal is amazing. I guess I need to tighten the reins of how I live. Cut more veges at one time & store them in the fridge & freezer. Have a great day... :dizzy:

Stopquitting
02-12-2014, 06:08 PM
Yep, I hate to say it - but 2 tablespoons per mug of 16 oz coffee? That does seem like a lot of sugar, at least to me. I use stevia in my coffee. I get it at Trader Joe's in the powdered form. It's not cheap, but, supposedly it is not suppose to have any side effects. Thank You for your kind words in regards to my childhood friend. It has been tough. I am trying to eat healthier & make healthier choices. Seem like the Atkins & Weight Watchers that I have been on through the years (mainly Atkins) - have really done & taught me nothing. I did check out the website that you sent me. That gal is amazing. I guess I need to tighten the reins of how I live. Cut more veges at one time & store them in the fridge & freezer. Have a great day... :dizzy:

I actually have stevia at home, but I find it tastes weird. I think I should add almond milk or something instead huh? I googled how much sugar per coffee cup and most people put around 1 tsp, I'm really overdoing it. :(

She is right? Yes, I think you've got a great plan there, come back and update :)

2jellybelly
02-12-2014, 06:30 PM
Well, I know that some people add dark chocolate cocoa powder in their coffee. I tried the Unsweetened Vanilla almond breeze in my coffee & I thought it was horrible. Just some FYI. I love my coffee too. Maybe Splenda? Although it is not natural, it has to be better for the weight loss than sugar? Or better yet, maybe you could ween your yourself from a tablespoon. Go down a little every other day, until you reach a much less amount?? Hope you stay healthy today. I know that we need to take it one day at a time. I am getting ready for a trip to California for my friend's funeral. I will just try to do the best that I can do & not beat myself up for it...:o

HuggerBunny
02-12-2014, 10:16 PM
Stopquitting, I agree, 2 tablespoons of sugar is a lot. Is there any way you would feel comfortable giving up the coffee, or do you really need the caffeine to get through the day? If you need the caffeine, have you tried drinking black tea? It doesn't have as much caffeine as coffee, but you could just try drinking more of it. The only way I can handle coffee is if it's "watered down" a ton with milk and sugar, like a mocha or iced coffee. Too bitter otherwise and I absolutely cannot stand it. I drink some form of coffee maybe every 2 months. However, I can enjoy black tea with nothing added just fine. Maybe that would work for you :)

Pattience
02-12-2014, 10:32 PM
Hi again,

So I measured out how much sugar I put into my coffee, and I fit 2 cups of coffee in my mug, and add 2tsps NESCAFE dark roast, and then add 2tbsp sugar, is that too much? I'm adding so much more sugar than I am coffee!

2 TBSP SUGAR!!! You are mad! and its the indian in you. I am joking i hope you know. Indians do bury their coffee under a pile of sugar. Yes that's about 4 times as much as the average australian puts in their coffee.

See if you can learn to like coffee without sugar at all. I have stopped and started sugar in my tea and coffee a few times in my life. Its not difficult. But i do put milk in. Normal milk, not creamer or cream or anything else. Just full cream normal whole milk. It tastes good to me.

Its not so much because of the calories but because it keeps your sweet tooth alive and strong. So knock off the sugar in your drinks and and everywhere else and you will adjust to the unsweetened life.

For cholesterol, i have been told that beans as in lentils and kidney beans and chickpeas and things of that kind help lower cholesterol. Even if its not true, these beans are good for you, high in fibre, high in protein and in traditional indian cuisine many wonderful dishes are made and you are probably familiar with them. I try to eat a lot of beans.

For anyone who does not like exercise, if the weather is fine, go out for a walk in a nice neighbourhood or a park. Go where there are nice things to look at. Or walk to work. Get off the train or tram or bus earlier than usual and walk 30 minutes to get there. Same on the way back. You will notice the difference very quickly. Of course if the weather is miserable, its less fun.

Or get a bicycle, ride it to work.

Or do yoga such as iyengar yoga which won't make you sweat but will build up your muscles, make you puff a bit. Having bigger muscles increases your metabolism.

Also other similar types of exercise to that is tai chi, qi hung. Or take up dancing. Do a class. Many larger women take up with belly dancing. This is a nice one because it addresses femininity and gets you to enjoy your body.

ohiofreespirit
02-13-2014, 12:38 AM
Hi stopquitting,


I just wanted to say good luck in your weight loss. I too, was stuck for years and just became happy with being fat. I came to terms with my body and that I wasn't ever going to be skinny.

Well, today, I was weighed and I have lost 8 pounds. I was shocked. Now I know I can actually lose weight. Now I know that my body is capable of losing pounds.


I wish you the best of luck in your journey in weight loss.

Stopquitting
02-13-2014, 03:50 AM
HuggerBunny- To be honest, I think it's sometimes psychological, like I've done it for so long I feel I need it, but there have been so many times where i want to fall asleep right away after drinking coffee. I think it's just the taste I'm addicted to, I think this is something I have to lay off too. It also doesn't settle well with my stomach at times. I actually drink tea much more often and can tolerate it without the sugar too! I put in crushed ginger and then drop a tea bag in it, it's really good!

Pattience-It is definitely the indian in me! haha that made me laugh. I'm going to have to lay off it soon. I dont feel as if I need to have it, more just a ritual as a college student, it's almost like a comfort food to me at times! but it does curb sweet cravings.

Ohiofreespirit-thank you for your kind words! and that is wonderful wow 8 lbs! Losing weight like that is such a great feeling, I once lost 6lbs without purposely dieting and it was so great! It's very easy to become comfortable with this lifestyle, being happy that food is there, but it's when I get to the outside world that I see how unhealthy it is, and when I go to the doc and get a reality check of what I'm doing to myself. But thank you! I hope I can be healthy at some point in my 20s! that's my aim now.

As of today I have not cheated! I did have two coffees but other than that, 2 servings of vegetables, protein, I did have a promax bar though =( It was better than the oreo pack I usually buy but I was starving at school, and the store only had pretzels (which i hate with a passion), yogurt raisins, chips, and promax bars, I need to pack better snacks for school too. that's 2 days without cheating. Each day I'm learning new things to change, yesterday it was basically not cheating, tomorrow it will be to lower my sugar intake in coffee, or see if I can get by with my ginger tea instead :) Hope you all are doing well!

Stopquitting
02-14-2014, 12:01 AM
hi guys,

Just my daily update here, I was 174 today!

I'm trying to not get too excited, good chance it might be water weight since, from what i hear that's what comes off first?

I didn't eat quite well today. I made some sweets for some family coming over and ate quite a bit in the process of making them, so I feel guilty, I'm thinking to go exercise soon to hopefully make this day better :)

Hope you all are doing well.

2jellybelly
02-14-2014, 01:33 AM
Ohiofreespirit - Fabulous on your weight loss. Especially when you weren't really expecting it. You MUST be doing something right. Keep up the fabulousness...:carrot:

Stopquitting
03-05-2014, 05:49 PM
Hello everyone!

Haven't commented here in sometime, hope you all are doing well. I am going strong so far, hoping it continues.