Weight Loss Support - A curse called February




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thirti4thirty
02-06-2014, 10:29 PM
My best friend just met someone. She asked me if I was happy for her. I am. It's just that it's a mixed feeling.
She came back from a trip and since then has never called/texted me which was very unusual, given that we communicate almost every day. So I asked her and she said she had met someone. Even if I'm happy for her (I've tried to get her hooked before), I have that mixed feeling that loneliness is looming ahead for me again. This is the typical case of something that will send me to the kitchen every 15 minutes...
And it always happens in February.
In Feb 2012 I got my new job, moved to another area and stopped going to my gym. I had lost 20 pounds and after that I gained it all back.
In Feb 2013, I had a "massive heartbreak" . A real story of Love Gone Wrong. IT is still affecting me. Prior to that, I had succeeded in losing 20 pounds. I gained it all back and added 10 more.
And now this. Since I always start dieting at the end of the year (go figure why) I don't know why February has decided to be an all time defeater.
I'm going to suck it up and continue my diet.
It's my first sleepless night in two weeks, ever since I started taking sleeping pills. I took one before bed but I still cannot sleep. I needed to talk about this. Thanks for "listening" to me. :halfempty:stars:


hhm6
02-07-2014, 02:59 AM
Hi thirti!

We are quite similar in situations we have dealt with.

Is it a situation where she's spending time with her SO and talks to you less since? I know that feeling all too well :( I'm dealing with it right now with a friend who frequently does this. I don't think she does it intentionally but it's sucks to feel neglected all of a sudden, but don't fall off the wagon!! You've lost weight and you can continue!

The other thing we have in common in the heartbreak, I broke up with a guy I thought I was going to marry after 6 years and when we did, it's what spiraled my weight issues, before that I was much healthier/thinner.

Here I am now 12 years later still battling my weight. Looking back I always wish I took care of the problem earlier, so I really think the best you can do for yourself is to stay on your plan! You will be so happy you did in the future. Building that resistance also gives me a very empowering feeling :)

You should look at this February 2014 as a new way of looking at February and focus on your health and really kick it into gear! I don't know if looking at photos helps you but when I feel like binging/cheating on my diet or just depressed/bored I start looking up instagram accounts of weight loss, the goal thread here is fantastic too! It really helps to see other people who were in your spot once and now they're a new person. It really gets me going!

Anyway, sorry for the novel! Just wanted to let you know you're not alone with these issues and you can overcome them :)

Daimere
02-07-2014, 04:34 AM
This is the year to kick February to the curb! You can find buddies on here to check in, especially when you feel like you need to go into the kitchen every five minutes. For me the last two weeks have been so hard for me on plan wise. I'm hoping that will change soon and I can restart with more motivation this month! And you can do that too. I started losing weight a few weeks before Christmas! But you know what it felt nice knowing I wasn't GAINING like everyone else around me. :) But you can do this!


thirti4thirty
02-07-2014, 04:37 AM
hhm6Thanks for the encouragement,. It comforts me to know that there's someone who understands my feelings.
I got really close to this person for the last few months because we share a lot of things and we have a lot in common. The mere fact that she could push me aside so easily in itself is already really hurtful. And since I have no other close friend, it makes me feel quite lonely.
May be I should just wait for it to sink in. May be it's just the novelty of the situation. But it has happened to me so often these years! I get close to someone who meets a SO and forgets all about me. I never complain because I don't want to be labelled as selfish or anything of the sort.
Thanks for understanding me.
Daimere Thanks for your kind words. They really lift me up.

caldawg89
02-07-2014, 05:53 AM
Hi Thiriti! I too have been in your situation, last year in fact. I was dumped via text message about a month before Valentines Day. I was sad for a bit, and it was hard for me to see people sharing the love I so craved, however one day, I woke up, and woke up to myself. I could continue to sit around and be sad, or I could celebrate all who I was, and ust enjoy myself. What I am trying to say is, you have so much to celebrate! So be happy for your friend, and dont dwell on what she is doing, I know its hard, but you have to do this for you. Also, stick to your plan; throw any frustration/anger/hurt into your workout and make your feelings pay dividends for you in your workout rather than bingeing. You deserve it! And one day, when the Universe decides you are ready, someone incredible will come into your life and you will see why it never worked out with anyone else :) Dont ever let what is going on around you drive you to food. You deserve the best, and you can do it! I hope this helps!

VermontMom
02-07-2014, 08:31 AM
I'm really sorry this is happening between you and your friend, you sound very thoughtful and considerate in that you don't want to say anything to make things uncomfortable..but it does suck to feel like you've been pushed aside or temporarily forgotten .

I 'get' having a Bad Month also..we've had dog deaths, an accident involving brain injury, ugh. But my past Bad Month was clear! so there is hope :D

I applaud you for being able to lose those pesky 20 pounds before...you can do it again! come here for support :)

thirti4thirty
02-07-2014, 01:33 PM
Hi Thiriti! I too have been in your situation, last year in fact. I was dumped via text message about a month before Valentines Day. I was sad for a bit, and it was hard for me to see people sharing the love I so craved, however one day, I woke up, and woke up to myself. I could continue to sit around and be sad, or I could celebrate all who I was, and ust enjoy myself. What I am trying to say is, you have so much to celebrate! So be happy for your friend, and dont dwell on what she is doing, I know its hard, but you have to do this for you. Also, stick to your plan; throw any frustration/anger/hurt into your workout and make your feelings pay dividends for you in your workout rather than bingeing. You deserve it! And one day, when the Universe decides you are ready, someone incredible will come into your life and you will see why it never worked out with anyone else :) Dont ever let what is going on around you drive you to food. You deserve the best, and you can do it! I hope this helps!

Your message brought tears to my eyes, especially this part:"And one day, when the Universe decides you are ready, someone incredible will come into your life and you will see why it never worked out with anyone else :)" I'm going to write that somewhere I can see it often.

And thanks again for your great support, Vermontmom. It's really not easy but I'm so truly blessed to be here with all this encouragement. I really means a lot to me.
HUGS

caldawg89
02-07-2014, 08:36 PM
We are all here for the same reason, to support each other while we try to be the best version of ourselves, learning to be fitter and healthier people. You are most welcome Thirti, losing weight and changing that area of your life is a selfish journey as it means you are doing something positive for yourself, and are putting yourself first, which many people struggle with. So focus on putting yourself first for a while. People used to tell me "You cant expect to love someone else, and have them love you, if you dont love yourself first". As people, we are flawed, but there are many many good things about us that we should cherish and focus on. You lost 20 pounds, and that is an awesome achievement! You can do it again! Learn to love and care for yourself, and watch the changes people notice in you. You will be pleasantly surprised. I made the effort to be a little more selfish recently and people have been telling me how happy I look, how I look really unstressed and just better. I feel all those things too. So get selfish girlfriend! You deserve to do this for you!

thirti4thirty
02-11-2014, 12:42 PM
Thanks caldawg. U're such a sweetheart!!!

caldawg89
02-15-2014, 09:27 AM
I try hard :) we are all here for each other, and I know there will be times where I will need cheering up, so I try to pay it forward :)

thirti4thirty
03-05-2014, 03:08 AM
Thank y'all for the support. Just wanted to update and proclaim for all to hear that I survived February!!!!
I always start dieting around december-january and always quit in february. Not this time.lol
We're in march, my month of birth and I'm still going, still doing strong. With my friend, we haven't come back to how close we were, but at least we still have a quite good relationship.
I'M PROUD OF MYSELF. I should have posted this in mini goals. lol!