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Quiet Ballerina
02-04-2014, 07:56 PM
A friend posted this on facebook and I wanted to share. I hope it's allowed?
Really nice blog post.

http://ericamillard.com/?p=1566


underanalysis
02-04-2014, 08:35 PM
Posts like this are a bit of a pet peeve of mine, and maybe I'm outing myself as a rude person, but I know other friends feel the same way...

I think it's disingenuous to say "no one is judging you at the gym". They are. I totally judge people at the gym. Not in the way the post specifies (that I think they should just go home because they're so out of shape), but here's a few ways I've judged people at the gym lately:

1. OMG her gym clothes are so cute, I wish I could afford nice gym clothes.
2. Man, her workouts are so serious. She must think the rest of us are mice in comparison.
3. Why is she reading a magazine on the hip adduction machine? Is she here to read or exercise.
4. That lady just came in to shower after her workout, but she's not sweaty at all and she's still in full makeup. What the heck was she doing out there?

People look at you at the gym. People look at what you buy at the store and make assumptions about you. Don't hide from it, FACE it and DEAL with it because guess what? You do it too.

Anyone who says they've never looked in someone else's cart or at someone's clothes or at someone's muscles and made an assumption about them is lying, and that is judging whether the assumption was negative or positive.

TheSecondHalf
02-05-2014, 09:50 AM
Posts like this are a bit of a pet peeve of mine, and maybe I'm outing myself as a rude person, but I know other friends feel the same way...

I think it's disingenuous to say "no one is judging you at the gym". They are. I totally judge people at the gym. Not in the way the post specifies (that I think they should just go home because they're so out of shape), but here's a few ways I've judged people at the gym lately:

1. OMG her gym clothes are so cute, I wish I could afford nice gym clothes.
2. Man, her workouts are so serious. She must think the rest of us are mice in comparison.
3. Why is she reading a magazine on the hip adduction machine? Is she here to read or exercise.
4. That lady just came in to shower after her workout, but she's not sweaty at all and she's still in full makeup. What the heck was she doing out there?

People look at you at the gym. People look at what you buy at the store and make assumptions about you. Don't hide from it, FACE it and DEAL with it because guess what? You do it too.

Anyone who says they've never looked in someone else's cart or at someone's clothes or at someone's muscles and made an assumption about them is lying, and that is judging whether the assumption was negative or positive.

And this is my pet peeve anytime this comes up: I think it's important to realize that not everyone thinks or acts exactly as you do. Just because you're checking in people's carts and second-guessing their work out, that doesn't mean everyone else is doing it. It just means you spend so much time doing it that it's hard for you to imagine other people don't.

I don't see how it's helpful to tell someone who is already feeling self-conscious that yes, everyone is judging you (because they're not) and don't you DARE be blissfully unaware of it for even one second.

I don't. I have plenty of my own stuff to think about and my thoughts to stray far from me, my kid, what I'm going to make for dinner, if I'm about to hurt myself, should I cut my hair, would I look better as a red head, what am I going to get my husband for Valentine's Day, wouldn't it be nice to go to the beach, I should really look into some beach houses, wonder how much vacation time my husband has, when is Spring Break, OMG, how long have I been on this machine, AM I REALLY WEARING BLACK SOCKS WHO LET THAT HAPPEN??? And I think I have a wedgie.

Also, some people are just really positive. I have a gym rat friend who regularly tells me about the obvious new mom he saw on the running trail or some old guy huffing and puffing in the pool and how motivating it is to see people just starting out. I'm not that person because again, I am just doing all I can to keep up with me, but I know other people are kind and generous even in their brains, where no one can hear.


LilDazed
02-05-2014, 10:07 AM
Some people judge at the gym, but really, I think the majority of people inside are supportive and honestly judging others in a good way. They scope out the newbies, the gym rats, the people that make a LOT of noise while working out..... O.o Some people got some lungs! Hah.

But really, if people can see that you're trying at the gym, even if you can't run very far, or lift much weight, you're there TRYING. The people that claim they got dragged to the gym and are whining or complaining or making a huge deal out of being sore or sweaty.....ok, maybe they're getting judged a little harshly. =P *shrug*

Wannabeskinny
02-05-2014, 10:38 AM
I feel supportive of people too. I don't go to the gym but I love going to the track at my neighborhood park. I love seeing the older people there, getting in their workout. I love to see the tai chi groups, the martial arts groups, the boot camps clubs, the joggers, the mommies pushing their running strollers, the guy doing jumping jacks, the personal trainers with their newbie clients, the guy running up the bleachers, the people stretching at the entrance of the track, the bike riders, the people carrying their tennis rackets. I draw a lot of inspiration there, it's such a happy place to be, I just love lingering on the thoughts that "we're all here for our health and wellbeing!"

I do admit though the people I don't draw a lot of inspiration from are the overweight women that are on the track. Not because I don't think they should be there, not because they're not doing the right thing or anything like that. Since I'm the type of person that absorbs the energy around me I feel like they walk with false determination - like "I have to do this, I have to lose the weight, I've failed so many times." It's a good mindset but because I'm there so often I see the same folks day in and day out. Most of the time though I never see those women again. Who knows, maybe they come at a different time of day than when I'm there but usually when I see an overweight woman I usually think to myself "how long will she be coming here, will she be here tomorrow?" I hate to see people give up on themselves.

sept2012
02-05-2014, 10:39 AM
I actually really enjoyed reading that post – reminds me that we are all just human and those who do judge regarding anything; have issues with themselves. In some respect judgmental people know no better, but with time, age and experience hopefully they learn what is really important in life and that is to love and respect people for who they are and the biggest lesson is to treat people how you want to be treated and that does not just mean to their face – it means in your thoughts as well.


At any rate there were parts that spoke to me and then others not so much. I think that is the important part of reading. You do not have to take every word literally. I experienced some of those emotions just last night in a spin class, but the old me (the one who used to be fit and was an athlete) took over and focused on what I was doing. I have been on both ends of the spectrum at the gym and in life so it is humbling. I have been a runner and I have breezed through an hour and a half spin class when I was lighter and fit. Today I find myself right back at point A wondering how I will ever get to the old me back and reading things like this reminds me that it is a lot of hard work that I have to put in to get there again. But most importantly it reminds me that I don’t have time to sweat at the small stuff. I cannot take the time to worry about what someone else thinks about me and my spandex pants .

Vex
02-05-2014, 11:46 AM
Even if people are judging you, who cares? Everyone has judged or been judged somewhere at some point in their life. You can't let fear of being judged hold you back from anything.

What's that saying? "What other people think of me is none of my business."

krampus
02-05-2014, 12:58 PM
I found the piece to be kind hearted but a bit hokey. It also confirms the fear that people notice overweight/new women at the gym. When i was brand new to exercise in public more than anything I just wanted to be invisible and not be noticed by anyone. I'd be mortified if someone saw me struggling and wrote about it.

smashlers
02-05-2014, 05:45 PM
I'm with you Vex. I could give a rats a$$ what anyone is thinking.

Chardonnay
02-05-2014, 05:58 PM
I don't care what others think of me at all, especially at the gym. But I do admit that I judge other people negatively when they don't seem to be taking it seriously. The annoying person chatting away loudly on her cell phone while on the treadmill bothers me. The person who doesn't observe gym etiquette and plants herself on a busy machine while she texts a friend during her time in between sets. The sloppy person who won't bring a towel to sit on or at least mop up the sweat on the machines. Or the woman who forgets to wash off her overpowering perfume...

But new people who use the gym for its purpose and follow the rules don't bother me at all. I was new at one point in my life too. And even when I switch gyms, I have to acquaint myself with the new machines.

grneyedmustang
02-05-2014, 06:23 PM
Or what about the overweight-yet-not-new girl at the gym? Is she being judged? "Something she's doing must not be working...I mean, she's working out and she's still overweight..."

(I'm one of them).

Just a point for discussion...

My thoughts on it - frankly - at least I'm here and not on the couch! :D

CutsieMina
02-06-2014, 04:36 AM
"Anyone who says they've never looked in someone else's cart or at someone's clothes or at someone's muscles and made an assumption about them is lying, and that is judging whether the assumption was negative or positive."

Bull roar. (LOL I was watching Reck it Ralph earlier)

On another note, I liked that post very much. Alot of people have to work, to get to where they are. Yeah it's alot, and you'll have to step out of your comfort zone. I found that letter/message/blog- what ever it was- very inspiring.

There ARE people in this world who are good, and who don't judge (for good, or bad) Not every one is the same. :)

BettyBooty
02-06-2014, 08:45 AM
I thought the sentiment was sweet, but I think we do all judge. Not all of our judgments are negative, though.

After I had my first baby, I started running to get back into shape. We have 2 dogs, and they love the exercise, plus they are good about hounding me to do it (pun intended). Anyway, when I first started, I couldn't even run for a quarter mile without stopping to catch my breath. I had that moment of fear that the neighbors were in their homes, seeing me out their windows and laughing at the fat girl trying to run. But I decided to keep doing it anyway, despite my fears. After a while, I convinced myself no one was even paying attention to me and maybe no one had even noticed I was running. After I'd lost over 30 lbs and was talking to one of my neighbors one day, she commented how she and her husband had been watching me run over the past few months. I felt my cheeks flush and my stomach drop and my eyes begin to well a tad with tears. And she followed it up with compliments on how amazing I was and that I looked fabulous. Other neigbors said pretty much the same thing at other times after that. So, yeah, people were watching me, but not to laugh.

This time around, I am totally aware that they are watching. And it really doesn't bother me one bit.

TheSecondHalf
02-06-2014, 09:52 AM
"Anyone who says they've never looked in someone else's cart or at someone's clothes or at someone's muscles and made an assumption about them is lying, and that is judging whether the assumption was negative or positive."

Bull roar. (LOL I was watching Reck it Ralph earlier)

On another note, I liked that post very much. Alot of people have to work, to get to where they are. Yeah it's alot, and you'll have to step out of your comfort zone. I found that letter/message/blog- what ever it was- very inspiring.

There ARE people in this world who are good, and who don't judge (for good, or bad) Not every one is the same. :)

I guess I can honestly say that until I came here and starting seeing the comments on what other people ate and bought, it never occurred to me that anyone would care what anyone else was buying at the grocery store. The only time I'm checking out someone else's cart is if I'm about to get behind them in line - and I'm looking for quantity, not quality ;-)

pixelllate
02-06-2014, 11:24 AM
Its funny - I switched from a fancy-bodybuilding/fit people gym to a "nogymintimidation Planet Fitness...and I found that Planet Fitness had a far more "invasive" feel. Constant reminders of the "Lunk" alarm - which is so irritating because my old gym was filled with the bodybuilder types and they were pretty much all respectful, left everyone alone, focused on themselves etc. Men at PF grab my one weight that I've only had for a few minutes, incessantly ask me questions while I'm trying to breathe correctly during deadlifting (so disrespectful!). I'm saving money at this new gym, but finding that the reverse is happening - open stares, getting bugged all the time etc. Its all fine, I don't mind the stares, but I do feel a lot more comfortable and left alone in my old "lunk" gym.

doingmybest
02-06-2014, 12:25 PM
My experience at the gym was not good. I always go to workout with a positive spirit; I don't judge or pay any attention to anyone else. I mind my own business. I wanted to be left alone in peace to complete my workout.

However, the staff at the gym CONSTANTLY made comments about my weight. One trainer was trying to get me to sign up for special workout sessions. (Of course, to make more money). Another trainer gave me a lecture about the importance of exercise after I missed a couple of days due to illness. While in a large yoga class, the instructor looked at me and, in front of the entire class said "if you are obese, this is how to modify the pose". They made me so upset and uncomfortable, that I started telling them to stop. When the comments continued, I complained to management. I told them that I am fully aware of my weight problem and I don't need to be lectured like a child. Nothing changed, so I changed gyms.

I absolutely agree with everyone that says not to care what others think. I just don't want to be harassed while I am trying to do something positive for myself.

krampus
02-06-2014, 12:49 PM
That's f#@ked up, doingmybest. Those trainers were doing everything possible to drive business away.

doingmybest
02-06-2014, 01:05 PM
Thanks, krampus! I completely agree. Not just rude, but very bad for business.

Arctic Mama
02-06-2014, 09:36 PM
I guess I can honestly say that until I came here and starting seeing the comments on what other people ate and bought, it never occurred to me that anyone would care what anyone else was buying at the grocery store. The only time I'm checking out someone else's cart is if I'm about to get behind them in line - and I'm looking for quantity, not quality ;-)

I know, right? Who has the mental energy to care what other people are doing? I have enough to worry about without giving a flip over whether someone is looking at me or my belongings and purchases. I try to think thoughts about people that I wouldn't be ashamed to say to them out loud, if and when I catch myself noticing things, but by and large my brain is too full to spend much time looking around :)

Brooklynn
02-06-2014, 10:15 PM
I have to say sometime I understand peoples judgements when they see someone who is very over weight. I am sure we have all assumed something about someone at first glance from time to time, but REALLY .... REALLY? you are going to bust on a girl who is doing what she can to be healthy and you think making her feel bad about it is going to what?? Motivate her? I would love to know what gym this is so I can tell every one I know to never go there call the news and do a story or something just to expose these Aholes for what they really are! I am so sorry you had to deal with this! Don't that these FERS slow you down YOU GOT THIS!

Mad Donnelly
02-06-2014, 11:13 PM
Who knows, maybe they come at a different time of day than when I'm there but usually when I see an overweight woman I usually think to myself "how long will she be coming here, will she be here tomorrow?"
Thanks for your honesty. I have to say that seems pretty judgey because that's exactly what I HOPE people aren't thinking at the gym. That bothers me more than thinking that people are looking at my huge spare tire. But I do have some of the same thoughts as underanalysis because, yes, I do look around comparing myself to others (I have yet to see someone with a bigger spare tire than me and that's no joke) or to see how everyone dresses here (we just joined) but mostly comparing myself to them in terms of keeping up (in classes, not on the treadmill. I could care less about that).

But I would never think, Oh, I'll never see that person again. No, I'm more thinking, Crap, there's people here. I wanted the place to myself.

Wannabeskinny
02-07-2014, 12:53 PM
We all think what we think. I don't do it in a negative manner, I certainly don't wish that I don't see them tomorrow. I think it has more to do with the expression on their face, somehow it's easy to read when someone is working out because they're unhappy. Of I see someone who is working out because they're forcing themselves to or punishing themselves with a workout then yes, those are the people that don't stick around. I work out whether it helps me lose weight or not. I do it for fitness and the people who stick it out usually do so because they find an appreciation for it, it gives them happiness.

grinchygirl
02-07-2014, 01:50 PM
I'm at a university. So I don't really judge people based on fitness. I don't care what shape you are in, and I've found the gym very unintimidating. However, I will admit to judging the girls who come in whining about working off the beers they had that weekend. I judge them for their drinking not their fitness. Because I just think it would be simpler to cut out the nasty-for-you alcohol.

If you hate the gym so much, don't do things that make you feel obligated to go :*/, but that may just be me.

So yeah, dear gym newbies, old returnees, and every person in America. Get yo *** in here.

Mrs Snark
02-07-2014, 03:06 PM
IHowever, I will admit to judging the girls who come in whining about working off the beers they had that weekend. I judge them for their drinking not their fitness. Because I just think it would be simpler to cut out the nasty-for-you alcohol.

If you hate the gym so much, don't do things that make you feel obligated to go :*/, but that may just be me.

Well. Then you'd certainly judge the fact that I sometimes shout RED WINE RED WINE RED WINE!!!!! during the final few minutes of my 5k on the treadmill, which is fortunately located in my home so as not to completely freak out all other human beings. A good hard run always makes me feel like I can squeeze in a glass of wine, and I admit that some of my running is aimed at mitigating my cocktail habit. :)

Silverfire
02-07-2014, 04:04 PM
I judge people. All the time.

http://data1.whicdn.com/images/63368881/large.gif

For all sorts of things. Not always good, admittedly. They are my thoughts, in my head and they do no harm to anyone else inside there.

I like to people watch. I enjoy eavesdropping. Sometimes I like to pretend I can figure people out like Sherlock does :)

I love to check out other people shopping carts. You can tell a lot about a person by what they put in their cart. I don't go around looking for people with carts laden with junk, nor seek out those only stocking up with veggies and good stuff. I observe the things that people are doing around me, and then think about it. To me, it is interesting. Perhaps I don't have enough going on in my own life that I have this free time to observe the world around me! ;)

At the gym, I like to watch for regulars so I can smile and nod to them. I see the girls who come in pairs who, as far as I can tell, have only come to visit with each other. I judge them. I think to myself, "Come on girls, if your going to make the effort to go to the gym, make some effort in the gym! get your sweat on ladies!!!". Or sometimes I will see some really large folks and think to myself "Boy, I'm sure glad I started now". Sometimes I look for someone similarly sized to myself, and race them in my mind. (I almost always win too!)
I see the super fit guys and girls and think to myself. "Damn, they have got their sh!t together! jealous!" or " damn, I gotta watch how they do that _insert crazy workout move here__" Often I just lust for their cute workout clothes

Anyway - the original post is a nice thought, but is far from realistic IMO.

What the new girl at the gym really needs to know is:


EVERYONE feels awkward their first few times at the gym, this will pass so just get over it!

The things that you can do, are not going to be the same as the things other people can do. Until you learn how to do them.

Hold your head up and be proud that you are there in the first place. Staring at your shoes, the floor, or your phone constantly isn't helping anything :)

Sweat like you mean it! Sweat is just fat crying right? ;)

Find yourself worrying about the people around you and what they may be thinking? F-em! Focus on yourself, the reason you are there and get you @ss in gear!

Clean up your sweat!

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY - It doesn't matter what other people think of you - if you make the choice to make positive changes for yourself, that is all that matters!

Wannabeskinny
02-07-2014, 04:47 PM
@Silverfire, will you be my new best friend?

I made my own saying. Or maybe someone said it before but I don't, I think I made it up. It goes "I don't compare myself to others anymore because nobody compares to me"

Kat117
02-11-2014, 05:16 PM
Wow - reading all these comments makes me even happier that I don't go to a public gym! It is sad that there is no tolerance. You don't know me, you don't know if i am unhappy or not - you don't know what I have illnesses that I am combating while trying to get healthy. I might be looking unhappy because my fiance just passed away - and exercise helps fight the depression, but I am not going to be f'ing giggling while I do it.

Worry about your own backyard before you start looking at and judging your neighbors.

This post reminds me that I am much happier going to a physical rehab facility where everyone encourages each other, even if it is just one sit up or managing to get across the room without help or doing a full 30 minutes.

Mad Donnelly
02-11-2014, 06:16 PM
I'm too busy judging myself in the mirror as I'm working out. And hopefully I'm too busy rocking out to my headphones and making sure I'm in my target HR to judge people because that makes the cardio go by.

I am not really worried about being judged in the free weights, but I'm still intimidated because I feel the same way whether anyone's there or not. So I'm gonna get with a trainer just to make sure I know how to use and do everything so I can walk up whether anyone's there or not.

Radiojane
02-11-2014, 06:47 PM
Yeah, I never looked at another person's grocery cart until I heard about it here. Now, I don't look, but I'm paranoid about being the fat chick seen with anything unhealthy in my cart. I had a panic attack over buying seafood dip. Seriously.

The gym in our leisure center (where I swim, and where I could work out on the same pass as often as I want) is all glass windows, so anyone going to the library, the art council office, the pool etc, can see in. I just cannot bring myself to do it. I know mentally that most people are in their own sphere - my mom always said "you'd be surprised how little time others spend thinking about you", but it's a personal shame thing. I FEEL like I'm being watched. It's something I have to work on.

For some reason I have no problem swimming, and I go to lane swim at the same time as my roommate's co worker. He made the comment to my roomie that he sees me all the time and that he couldn't believe how much I'd lost. Not the "man, she's the worst swimmer I've ever seen" that I was expecting.

Again, I think we judge ourselves more than anyone else judges us.

Doingmybest What you described - shaming by staff - is a huge issue in both the beauty and the fitness industries. It's designed to guilt people into spending money ("man you have bushy eyebrows" when you go for a hair cut etc), and it's not okay by any stretch. Definitely vote with your dollar and leave!

katerina11
02-11-2014, 07:50 PM
i've judged the bros who curl all the time and never squat. just being honest.

of course, they judge me bc FATZ!!!

every time i see a woman lifting, i get stupid excited. and wish i could go talk to them.

judging happens. not necessarily how you would think.

and someone upthread talked about bodybuilder gym vs planet fitness. i totally agree with you. i have found people who are serious about their workouts are the ones who just arent giving anyone any crap. and the mfing lunk alarms. UGH. i hope an angel drops some money on you, so you can get out of planet fitness!

Sasha29
02-12-2014, 12:31 AM
I'm glad I work out at home after reading these comments. When I've had a gym membership, I never paid attention to other people working out, unless I want to try what they are doing. Mostly, I just hope they aren't looking at me, thinking some of the things expressed here.

As for the overweight women on the track who supposedly look miserable, how do you know what they are feeling? Before my mother had knee replacement surgery, the only thing she could do was walk on the track or treadmill. She looked miserable because her knees were killing her, not because she wasn't committed. I find it so strange that someone would be judged for walking the track. Who cares?

shcirerf
02-12-2014, 01:01 AM
Dear new girl at the gym.

Some of us have always been fit, some of us not. I'm of the NOT group.

It does not matter.

You are here for your own reasons. You are paying for it. What we do, does not matter, what does matter, is what you do!:D

You do not need our opinion or approval, you only need your perseverance and dedication!;)

Wannabeskinny
02-12-2014, 08:24 AM
Worry about your own backyard before you start looking at and judging your neighbors.


I suppose that's addressed at me. Sorry your fiance passed away, no I don't think you should have to giggle while you work out. And I don't judge anyone for the reasons they work out. Sometimes when I see someone punishing themselves with exercise I know it because I was one of those people at one time. And whatever vibe they're giving off is a sad reminder of how I was and can still feel sometimes. Like I said, it's not a judgement it's an observation and for whatever reason exercising if very emotional for me. I process emotions while I exercise and I consider myself an extremely empathetic person (which means I somehow absorb the emotions going on around me) so it does affect me when I see someone unhappy exercising for whatever reason.

And it is my backyard, it's where I go on a daily basis, I'm allowed to see the things that are going on around me and have an opinion on them. It's not like I stop anyone and tell them so, or that I go up to them and tell them to go home, but part of exercising in public has always been about observing and receiving the energy around me... I can't exercise alone in my house.

Furthermore, I fully expect that someone is going to look at me and have some sort of opinion about me. It does not bother me in the least because I'm quite proud of myself for working out even if I don't look like a victoria's secret supermodel while I do so. I suspect that people who are upset or angry about other people having eyesight are victims of their own insecurities.

Munchy
02-12-2014, 11:21 AM
Yeah, I never looked at another person's grocery cart until I heard about it here. Now, I don't look, but I'm paranoid about being the fat chick seen with anything unhealthy in my cart. I had a panic attack over buying seafood dip. Seriously.

I have been embarrassed to eat in public since I was 11 years old because I feared being "the fat chick eating." I finally ate an item at lunch every few weeks when I was a senior in high school. I was 116lbs at the time, so maybe I felt "okay" enough to be seen eating. Most of that has passed, but...

About 5 years ago I was grocery shopping and there was a man behind me who I felt was looking too intently at my groceries and I immediately felt self conscious. You could literally pick my foods (plenty of fresh fruit and veggies, reduced fat dairy, whole grains) from my ex husband's foods (frozen pizza, frozen burritos, snacks). I was so self conscious that I actually turned and pointed at the unhealthy food and said "my husband is fat." The man said something along the lines of "and you love him." I actually didn't - I was about to leave him - but I digress. I never said anything like that ever again.

My own insecurities really just backfired on me and I worked hard in therapy to overcome a lot of that. I cringe at what I said. It was so judgy.

PatLib
02-13-2014, 07:46 PM
Sorry if this has been asked. I didn't read all the posts in the thread.

But has anyone noticed that as they lose weight they have become less judgmental at the gym?

When I was at my heaviest I use think people were giving me dirty looks, I would roll my eyes at the girls wearing make-up or fancy gym clothes, etc. But now that I have lost weight I just don't notice any of it now.

That happen to anyone else?

Wannabeskinny
02-13-2014, 07:54 PM
Sorry if this has been asked. I didn't read all the posts in the thread.

But has anyone noticed that as they lose weight they have become less judgmental at the gym?

When I was at my heaviest I use think people were giving me dirty looks, I would roll my eyes at the girls wearing make-up or fancy gym clothes, etc. But now that I have lost weight I just don't notice any of it now.

That happen to anyone else?

That's interesting because I do believe there is a corrolation between making judgements and confidence. When we don't feel too good about ourselves we're in a negative state of mind and maybe it makes us feel better to point out other people's faults. Weightloss doesn't necessarily make people better but it makes them feel better and have less reason to exhibit negative behaviors.

PatLib
02-13-2014, 08:04 PM
That's interesting because I do believe there is a corrolation between making judgements and confidence. When we don't feel too good about ourselves we're in a negative state of mind and maybe it makes us feel better to point out other people's faults. Weightloss doesn't necessarily make people better but it makes them feel better and have less reason to exhibit negative behaviors.

I agree, it not about being a better person because the truth is when I do notice things like people who are large I usually "think I'm glad I'm not that big anymore." What I mostly feel though is sort of indifference of other people at the gym which is sad in whole other way. But I think, in retrospect, no one was giving me dirty looks they were probably just indifferent sort of like I am now.

AwShucks
02-17-2014, 09:52 PM
I was running/walking (Couch25K) on the indoor track the other night, and there was an exercise class meeting on the track for their workout -- only 2 women and about a dozen men -- sweating like crazy and jumping rope, running at top speed, lifting free weights, sit-ups -- all in timed intervals, and it looked like murder! And, I had to run through it. I just kept running round and round -- dodging the jump ropers (scary!) and stepping around the ones doing sit-ups -- for 30 minutes! And, you know what? They weren't bothered by me. In fact, the beefiest guy there gave me a high-five as I passed him on my rounds! I loved that! He acknowledged me -- I belong there as much as he does!

That's the first time anyone has really approached me and acknowledged my workout-- other than fellow class participants chatting and commiserating when we're all tired after class.

If we weren't both so busy and so sweaty, I would've hugged that guy. He made my day, and possibly my year! I'll never forget his encouragement.

As far as judgmental folks go... it takes all kinds. There are always going to be judgy people everywhere. I just hope they keep their judgement of me to themselves.