20-Somethings - Annoyed with some friends...




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hhm6
02-04-2014, 04:35 PM
Hey guys,

So I've had a string of complaining threads recently (my apologies!) but something really irked me today. So I used to live in Vegas, I had a lot of friends who were club promoters and we went out now and then. I'm not into the club scene as much as they are, but it's very obvious when you go and you're out of place. Anyway, lately I've seeing posts on their wall like this

http://i.lolthis.com/lt/000/058/907/58907.jpg

and it really bothers me, bothers me so much that I can't help but what wonder what they thought when I went clubbing with them. When I went, I always heard comments of the "bigger" girls ruining it for the hot girls, and it bothered me, not at but other girls. I don't care for that scene but it sucks that the culture is like that in the Vegas area. It almost makes me feel embarrassed for going, since I have no idea what other people thought, not that I should care, but why be so rude?

I guess I'm worrying about a problem that is pointless, but I just feel like it's insensitive when people post things like that :shrug:


Chardonnay
02-04-2014, 04:51 PM
Well, the world can be a heartless place right? Those types of jokes will always be around. Whatever gender, race, religion, height, weight, age etc....there is always going to be an insensitive joke about it. And people who we thought were friends will make such jokes maybe not realizing that it seems we are the target of the joke. Best not to take it personally at all. But it's a good way to weed out the insensitive people in your life too.

Riestrella
02-04-2014, 05:48 PM
When I used to go clubbing I was 30-40 lbs heavier. I would go with my friends who are all slim and gorgeous. Not once did they ever make me feel like the odd one out, they always encouraged me to have fun and enjoy the moment. Friends are supposed to support each other, to bring out the best in one another, to have the best fun they can together! These friends sound toxic and I think you don't really trust them. Find people who bring out the best in you and don't make you doubt yourself or hurt your confidence.


JayZeeJay
02-04-2014, 05:54 PM
When I saw that, my first thought is that it's a pun - the "clubbing seals" gag that is going around right now (see image). However, that is not to say that it cannot be interpreted as a hurtful comment...

all4meh
02-04-2014, 06:07 PM
I dont think that is suppose to be taken as a comment towards bigger people clubbing, but about clubbing seals. That was my first thought on it. Theres a whole thing about clubbing baby seals.

Pattience
02-04-2014, 06:31 PM
I don't think it necessarily meant anything about how they felt about you. But you would know if you fitted in with that crowd or not.

Anyway try not to dwell on things like that and just keep focussed on what you want for yourself. Stay away from people who say hurtful things. Although sometimes i have to admit, its the hurtful things that can prompt us to action for the change.

Keep your chin up. Life is not easy for most of us. We just have to find ways to let go the hurt and stay true to the good stuff.

hhm6
02-04-2014, 06:32 PM
Well the reason I thought it was clubbing was because it was an opening of a new club, so promoters who bring in the "hottest group" of girls essentially get paid more, or something along the lines of that, seeing the photo made me think it was related to not bringing in girls who were overweight.

They're never directed anything to me like that, I don't really bring up the topic with them at all tbh. It just seems insensitive, but meh I think I've over it now. I'm glad I'm not in Vegas or part of that lifestyle.

Quiet Ballerina
02-04-2014, 06:59 PM
Another vote that I thought it was about clubbing seals.

Avezy44
02-05-2014, 01:42 AM
When I saw that, my first thought is that it's a pun - the "clubbing seals" gag that is going around right now (see image). However, that is not to say that it cannot be interpreted as a hurtful comment...

That's what I got from it too. I do completely understand though... I don't really like going clubbing for any reason other than the opportunity to dance and dress up... my friends motives are more superficial. I actually don't really hang out with those friends anymore since I started losing weight for that reason. I think you should just feel happy that you're not around what makes you uncomfortable anymore. I'm sorry you feel annoyed though, it's not fun feeling that way towards friends.

hhm6
02-06-2014, 04:30 PM
Hey guys,

Just thought I would update, there were quite a few comments under the post that got flamed responses, so I think the intent was directed at a weight issue. (But LOL at the other image!)

Quoting one of the comments "If you girls think you're actually HOT, now is the time to put it to the test, get into Drais without a cover charge, you're hot. Fatties no you can't pay off or -------- the bouncers to get in"

The other comments are quite vulgar, I almost feel like deleting these people on my Fb, since they aren't friends (more like acquaintances) and I have little respect for people who like this about other people. :( But it also makes me feel so relieved to not be around that industry when I'm working so hard to lose weight now.

JulesMarion
02-06-2014, 04:48 PM
Totally thought that was referring to clubbing seals (which is very sad), but after reading your comment, and their responses... I hesitate to say otherwise. People like that are no one's friends, and delete them ASAP. No one needs that in their life. If they aren't friends, DELETE them. Facebook was not meant to demean and put down, it was meant to network and socialize - that's just harassment.

They may not be saying that to you, but the fact that they are saying it all to anyone is despicable. The depiction of what "beauty" is, is fleeting, and what you can count on is the heart behind someone. We can lose weight, but you can't change someone's attitude or the intent of their heart. (IE - I can lose weight, but you can't lose an ugly personality)

hhm6
02-06-2014, 05:19 PM
Totally thought that was referring to clubbing seals (which is very sad), but after reading your comment, and their responses... I hesitate to say otherwise. People like that are no one's friends, and delete them ASAP. No one needs that in their life. If they aren't friends, DELETE them. Facebook was not meant to demean and put down, it was meant to network and socialize - that's just harassment.

They may not be saying that to you, but the fact that they are saying it all to anyone is despicable. The depiction of what "beauty" is, is fleeting, and what you can count on is the heart behind someone. We can lose weight, but you can't change someone's attitude or the intent of their heart. (IE - I can lose weight, but you can't lose an ugly personality)

Yes clubbing seals is really sad :( I was referring to a post someone posted about seals on the dance floor.

I just deleted them, I had about 15 promoters as friends on here. I think I gave them a lot of business by getting people on their guest list, but I don't think they'd even wave at me if they saw me in public. They cater to a certain clientele (I can see the type of things they like on fb, it's just all very superficial) not referring to all promoters here just those who are on my fb.

The sad thing is, these guys/girls aren't models either (not to say if you're model status you can talk this way about people) but it's ridiculous to me how they feel so entitled to speak this way, and it just makes the whole Vegas environment seem so condescending towards women in general. :( But anyway, thanks for letting me get my rant out :hug:

Avezy44
02-06-2014, 06:02 PM
I know exactly the type. I have a couple of friends that are like that.. that is just toxic. The best thing to do is what you have done. Just don't ever feel like they are right because in this instance, they are the ones with the problem. Kudos for cutting them out!

canadjineh
02-06-2014, 06:19 PM
I just deleted them, I had about 15 promoters as friends on here. I think I gave them a lot of business by getting people on their guest list, but I don't think they'd even wave at me if they saw me in public. They cater to a certain clientele (I can see the type of things they like on fb, it's just all very superficial) not referring to all promoters here just those who are on my fb.

The sad thing is, these guys/girls aren't models either (not to say if you're model status you can talk this way about people) but it's ridiculous to me how they feel so entitled to speak this way, and it just makes the whole Vegas environment seem so condescending towards women in general. :( But anyway, thanks for letting me get my rant out :hug:

Way to go hhm6! :cheer2: Those people are not 'friends' so good on you for losing them. Just remember those of us who have/are modelling aren't all like that either. Peoples' personalities really have nothing to do with their body size. Skinny pricks are still pricks if they gain weight and vice-versa. I'm sure you have much better friends with more developed personalities to concentrate on and it will be a positive upbuilding experience for you from now on. Keep on goin...

hhm6
02-07-2014, 02:22 AM
I know exactly the type. I have a couple of friends that are like that.. that is just toxic. The best thing to do is what you have done. Just don't ever feel like they are right because in this instance, they are the ones with the problem. Kudos for cutting them out!

Thanks Avezy!! It really is, and even though they don't think they're doing anything wrong, I can't imagine who they're hurting as they have 2000+ friends on fb.

Way to go hhm6! :cheer2: Those people are not 'friends' so good on you for losing them. Just remember those of us who have/are modelling aren't all like that either. Peoples' personalities really have nothing to do with their body size. Skinny pricks are still pricks if they gain weight and vice-versa. I'm sure you have much better friends with more developed personalities to concentrate on and it will be a positive upbuilding experience for you from now on. Keep on goin...

Thanks canadjineh! I completely agree with everything you said! I actually met an EXTREMELY fit guy at Target a while back who told me something I was buying wouldn't help with my obesity (so rude omg I wanted to cry at that moment I remember), and I've had family friends who aren't in the best shape ask me why I'm not worried about my looks at my age, meh what are you gonna do? It's ok though I have a small group of friends and 3FC to go to :carrot:

Pattience
02-07-2014, 02:59 AM
Hey guys,

Just thought I would update, there were quite a few comments under the post that got flamed responses, so I think the intent was directed at a weight issue. (But LOL at the other image!)

Quoting one of the comments "If you girls think you're actually HOT, now is the time to put it to the test, get into Drais without a cover charge, you're hot. Fatties no you can't pay off or -------- the bouncers to get in"

The other comments are quite vulgar, I almost feel like deleting these people on my Fb, since they aren't friends (more like acquaintances) and I have little respect for people who like this about other people. :( But it also makes me feel so relieved to not be around that industry when I'm working so hard to lose weight now.

Delete them.

vealcalf2000
02-07-2014, 04:47 AM
Are these truly friends or "frienemies" who allow others to post things like that? When someone is a friend they love you for you and you'd have no doubts of their intentions.

I know you're young and going out is fun, but this doesn't sound fun at all if you have to wonder about the intentions of these people. Find a new group of friends and go out! Doesn't sound like you were much into clubbing, so why not find other things to do? Don't keep yourself in this negative situation!

hhm6
02-07-2014, 04:44 PM
Yup I deleted them (mentioned it my last comment but it's on the previous page) Feels so MUCH better to not see that stuff anymore :)

Avezy44
02-08-2014, 09:31 AM
hhm6 -- Unfortunately some people are super insensitive for reasons we can't understand. I used to sing professionally and would get "feedback" from random people everywhere about my appearance. I had an old man tell me after an open mic that I "would never get anywhere being as fat as I was" and at that point in time I was only 170lbs. Don't let them bring you down. It's definitely easier said than done but to look on the bright side.. You know what they are saying is unfair and hurtful so that automatically makes you a better person than them.