Depression and Weight Issues - Feeling Hopeless
01-08-2014, 05:32 AM
I posted here a while back, and received a lot of good advice. But unfortunately I still haven't had much luck with losing weight. And it's starting to become an obsession of sorts with me. I honestly think about losing weight every single day, yet... I'm not losing.
I lost 93 pounds a few years ago, then very quickly gained every pound back. Last year I resolved to lose the weight again, plus even more. I never did, due to my fiance cheating on me and leaving me, a spell of depression, and my anxiety acting up. It was something I thought about daily.
Now I don't know what to do. I struggle with binging, sugar addiction, and I get extremely anxious thinking about how long it would take for me to lose weight. I've also felt depressed because so many people in my life are losing weight, while I feel completely stuck, like I have no self-control or will power.
I just don't know what to do, or why I'm failing so hard at this.
01-08-2014, 08:40 AM
I think you are putting yourself under too much pressure which is going to have the opposite effect of what you want.
When you go on a diet, its good to have an idea of your final goal but its not helpful to get stressed and anxious about losing it fast. Or about competing with other people. Or worrying that you didn't lose a gram today. And don't getting into a habit of jumping on the scales more than once a day. Weight fluctuates a great deal all the time due to water.
You will be more successful in the long term if you can take a relaxed, creative, and accepting approach to your diet. There will be good days and bad days. There will be stops and starts. There will be easy and tough times. You have to be willing to take it all. And try not to get so flustered about it.
If you can practice acceptance you might be able to let things go and relax a bit more.
Think about the concept of letting go more often. Maybe read some books on mindfulness. Learn what its all about and try to develop a practice of it. Its meditation, a particular sort of meditation that is used by psychologists and all sectors of society now. Its simple but requires some discipline so its not easy to do if you are not very motivated or have to do it all on your own. But just reading about it and learning about it and trying to practice it in anyway you can you can still learn a lot and change the way you think about everything.
You can stop anxiety by taking some slow deep breaths, recognising your mind is going bonkers and call it to a halt. Just drop the whole bag of messy thoughts and focus on something else. You do have that capacity. There is an excellent TED talk about how regular breathing can change your heart rate and settle you down so much. But you must also be willing to let go all those exciting and disturbing thoughts. You probably want to learn how to do that with a meditation teacher or a psychologist.
I have always had a sugar and binging problem too. I am much less upset about it than i used to be when it happens. But i still try to tackle it from time to time as in when i do a diet like i am now. And then at such times i find it easiest to deal with by eliminating sugar from my diet. I don't miss it when i don't have it through the day or around me. I set up a whole lot of tricks and rules to help me stick to the plan.
For your sweetness experiences, stick with fresh fruit.
I would suggest you start off your diet by coming up with a bit of a plan about how you are going to go about it. What are your rules. And then just start by instituting a three meal a day regime. With maybe a piece of fruit or something small for when you get hungry between meals. Don't plan in the snacks though. Try to go without them and only eat them if and when you get hungry. Use water as your first resort.
Start by trying to keep your calorie intake at what it should be for your height and current weight. Do this for maybe a one week. See how it feels. When you are ready, start reducing your calories. There are lots of tools around to help you. Don't reduce your calories too radically.
Ask if you don't know what they are.
Start keeping a food log in a thread or somewhere public or private it doesn't matter. You do need to be a bit obsessive about a diet when you start i find. It helps.
A bit further on, you can start to think about exercise. There is no hurry to lose 300kg in one month. Thinking about it all in terms of developing a new habit of good eating and lifestyle instead of so much focus on your weight.
Work on your mental health consistently.
I have had a lot of depression through my life and periods of anxiety. I've been working on my personal growth since the late 90s. Its a lifetime thing but there is improvement.
I'm trying to think of a nice book for you. It was a bit basic for me when i read it but as you are new to the whole subject, you could start with Martine Batchelor's book called Let Go. Its about breaking or changing habits.
01-10-2014, 05:36 PM
I think if you think of this as a personal journey and don't compare to anyone around you it will be easier. Believe me I have been there. I was about 150lbs most of my life and now bigger than I have ever been. Depression, anxiety, PMDD, giving up smoking and binging has contributed.
The mind is a poweful thing and it can really be your enemy too. If you don't lose weight with the correct mentality then the actual problem never gets solved.
Using a journal to track your thoughts, feelings and to go back from when you were little to find the triggers will help. Once you find out how and why you got to where you are then you can start to make better choices for you. :hug:
01-15-2014, 08:55 PM
You sound a lot like me. Honestly, I had to get to the "rock bottom" where it was live a healthy and happy life, or die slowly as an obese depressed, sad, stuck-in-a-rut sub-human. It's easy for me to describe it as such now because I got out of it, but the depression just brings me back all the time and I have to find the strength to fight it. Getting healthy is about an attitude change because it's not about giving up what we love, it's about getting rid of what is pulling us down that we *think* we love.
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