Weight Loss Support - Frustrated and need support

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01-08-2014, 03:02 AM
I have always been active, but have a bad habit of mindless eating. I had ankle surgery in August and I haven't been able to work out much until recently. I went through a period of time where I felt really lonely and turned to food for comfort. I have gained about 15 lbs since the surgery. Before that, I had gained about 15 lbs after a bad breakup. I sometimes feel lost and lonely and I just need some support to help me get to where I want to be. Does anyone have good tips on what to do when all you can think about is eating the bad thing you crave? Sometimes the food I crave is literally all I can think about and I almost always give in :( Help!

01-08-2014, 03:50 AM
I understand where you're coming from and it is indeed a bit of a tricky situation. Craving closeness, even if perfectly natural, can be quite painful when there's none to be had. You know that food is only going to bring temporary relief to a feeling that is also temporary. It's not going to last forever, nothing does. Instead of trying to suppress the uncomfortable feeling, just allow it to happen. Mentally step back for a moment and observe yourself when you feel lost and alone. Allow yourself to feel those feelings, instead of pushing them away, and just be compassionate towards yourself. The painful feelings will dissipate.

There's a practical angle to this as well, besides not gaining weight through eating when you're sad. When you work on your feelings and allow them to happen and allow yourself to be who you are, then something rather magical happens. The void within will start to fill without the external things like food and relationships (that never were able to fill it anyway), and you'll stop clinging onto those things for emotional support. When you don't need them for that purpose, you can build a healthy relationship with food and with other people. It's funny how especially in relationships, the more we try to hold onto something, the more it will want to go away, but when we don't need it and just be happy with ourselves, then others will flock around you. It's kind of a cruel paradox, I admit.

What ever you do, just please try to be compassionate towards yourself and don't have a shaming internal dialogue. It'll only make things worse. Eat nutritional foods, don't starve yourself, so that you can minimize the physical cravings. Then when you crave food for other purpose than getting energy, just stop for a moment and pay attention to what it is that you feel. What is it that you really need, because it's not food. Then just accept that and try to treat yourself with kindness. It will feel uncomfortable, but trust me: being able to live with the uncomfortable feelings will get much easier, and after that you will have so much inner strength, it will change your life.

01-08-2014, 10:11 AM
This is a great source of support, so I'm glad you found this site! A lot of us here have incredibly difficult challenges and turn to food, just like you...so really, you are not alone in that respect. One of the obstacles to weight loss is identifying what triggers you to overeat and you have already figured out the cause, so that's actually very helpful. The next step is for you to figure out how to manage this issue and how to find alternatives to food when you need comfort.

It takes time to make changes and for your body and mind to accept a new habit as part of your life. I think it's about 4 weeks, but as you practice your healthier life style, it will get easier with time. There will be ups and downs but the key is to commit because motivation comes and goes but commitment can be forever. If you slip, don't dwell on it...find out how you can avoid a slip next time.

Have a list of things you can do when you feel that sense of loneliness and urge to overeat. Here's my list, but you can make one for yourself.

Go for a walk or workout or just do crunches/push-ups/burpees/squats
Volunteer at a food bank/hospital/school, etc.
Hike, take a belly dancing class, etc.
Dance to favorite song as you do your housework or just for fun
Do some karaoke (youtube has lots of options)..it's silly but what the heck! ;)
Read success stories on the Goal section of this site
Drink hot tea
Chew gum
Have a large pot of vegetable only soup which is low calorie but gives you a sensation of fullness.
Call someone
See a movie
Watch a documentary on weight loss (Netflix)
Organize a drawer or a closet
Get involved in a book club
Paint your nails
Massage your feet
Take a bath
Watch a TED talk about happiness...there are quite a few great ones.
Write in a journal or start a blog.
Put a treatment mask on your face
Meditation has been found to be as helpful as antidepressants... 30 min. a day for the same effects http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2534957/Meditation-works-just-anti-depressants-Half-hour-day-offers-relief-tablets.html

Finally, have a plan. Make changes every week. Start with something simple like not drinking any calories so no juices or fancy coffees with lots of calories..those are just ideas, but you get the picture. Another week, you could focus on getting the right amount of calories or protein. The next week, you could increase your exercise...a simple way is to get a pedometer and aim to get 10,000 steps a day. If you're still not able to do that with your ankle, then find activities you can do without hurting yourself.

Change the negative soundtrack in your mind. In stead of saying I'm lonely, I need to eat, say I'm so excited about my new lifestyle, I can do this! Try watching The Secret on youtube...or read about Louise Hay...it's not for everyone but there's a lot to it, in my opinion.

I hope to see you around here soon and that you'll find a way to not only overcome but to persevere.

01-08-2014, 12:32 PM

01-08-2014, 03:20 PM
Thank you guys so much for your kind and helpful words. I am new to this site, but I can tell it's going to really help me. My mom has been telling me that it would help me to find a support group, because my family and close friends can only do so much. It's nice to know that there are so many people on here that are just here to support each other and help each other out! Today will be my first of many very healthy, happy days. I have all the tools, I just need to DO IT!

01-08-2014, 08:52 PM
Hi Ellamina, just wanted to say Hi and keep coming back and look around, there are all sorts of groups and threads that can help and inform. Believe me I've been coming here for years.


01-09-2014, 12:16 AM
I'm so happy to hear that this is the right place for you to find support! Way to go on getting started! :)