Chicks in Control - Binge Free and Over Eating in January




mainecyn
01-01-2014, 06:52 PM
I didn't see a thread for the new month, or new year, so started one.


I am back to the very beginning again, one day. I am sure I am not the only one that is in need of this thread. I do well if I come here daily and check in, I know I will not do as well if I don't. So, why do I hide? I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I binge and just can't bring myself to come to the thread during the binging, yet being here is just what I need, before the binge begins, and maybe during it to help stop.

The book Brain over Binge has been recommended several times and I have downloaded a sample of it from Amazon. I am going to attempt reading it, and might look at the library for the full book if they have it and if I find some answers in it.

Once again, I am reminded that vacation is a horrible time for me. I can't handle all the events in the house, all the people, all the stress from the kids, and no way to escape. Eating is that escape. Its a comfort and a curse. I can make myself feel better for a brief moment and then the guilt piles on making things worse.

I have never had a period of binging so bad as this Christmas vacation. I am escalating and becoming for daring with the binge, eating foods out in open at times, leaving evidence in my car, half eaten bag of potato chips. I am becoming lazy and I feel at times like i want to be caught and want my husband to understand just how bad this habit is-that it is not easy to stop and is a disease.


Sasha29
01-01-2014, 08:14 PM
I totally understand. I've tried to tell my husband and friends that it's not easy for me. I can't just have one chip and put down the bag. They don't understand that I can't stop, even when I want to. Food is my escape from stress, too. :(

I've had a really bad few months with bingeing and weight gain. It seems like this winter is hitting me harder than normal. Starting today, I am back on the wagon. I'm sure I'll slip up and binge, but I need to learn how to pick myself up and move forward.

mainecyn
01-01-2014, 09:04 PM
I understand what your saying about needing to gain control. In the course of three weeks Ive gained 15lbs. Ive been binging constantly with no control, getting reckless and crashed in a ball of fire after falling off the tracks it was more than falling off the wagon. The sad thing is that each binge just gets bigger and bigger, last longer, and causes more damage. I don't know what made me go down this path, what made my ocassional over eating into a huge addiction of binging but I wish I could go back. I Hate myself and what ive become, disgusting, horrible, I don't know if I'm ever going to over come this.


amerrylife
01-01-2014, 09:31 PM
I'm with y'all. It's been a few days for me but since it's a new year it feels like day 1. It feels good to be in control so I'm hoping it lasts. I'm tired of winter and bing eating and all of it.

Jubilee77
01-02-2014, 12:39 AM
I understand what your saying about needing to gain control. In the course of three weeks Ive gained 15lbs. Ive been binging constantly with no control, getting reckless and crashed in a ball of fire after falling off the tracks it was more than falling off the wagon. The sad thing is that each binge just gets bigger and bigger, last longer, and causes more damage. I don't know what made me go down this path, what made my ocassional over eating into a huge addiction of binging but I wish I could go back. I Hate myself and what ive become, disgusting, horrible, I don't know if I'm ever going to over come this.

Mainecyn: I absolutely know how it feels to have bigger and bigger binges. I started leaving things out, too, before I stopped binging at the end of November. I really wanted my husband to start questioning me about my behavior. My husband said to me that it seemed my eating situation was darkest before the dawn. I pray that it goes similarly for you, too.

YOU are NOT disgusting and horrible; although, I know why you say so. It was hard for me to not believe that I was disgusting and horrible when I would go digging through the outside garbage for parts of binges I had previously thrown out in a desperate effort to STOP EATING. In high school, I would dig through the garbage cans IN THE HALLS to find sweets that non-addicted eaters had thrown out. I'm serious. As embarrassing as that is to reveal, I just really want you to know that I empathize with you and hope you will continue to come here (even during a binge, as you say) to share what's going on for you.

:hug:

Take care of yourself.

J.

laceyj
01-03-2014, 12:50 AM
Mainecyn-You are not alone! There are a lot of us out there. I actually gained about 15 pounds in the last couple of months and it hasn't been pretty. I had a really terrible binge on 12/28 and kinda/sorta overate yesterday. However, the binges have been becoming further apart. Once you can start getting a few days under your belt you'll slip less. Just think of these slips as aftershocks! I've decided to log everything in MFP, even when I'm "bad." This way it tempts me to binge less and I also don't want to see all the crap that I ate! Do you have time to exercise? I got a FitBit for Christmas. I've found that if I at least get 10,000 steps in I don't feel as bad if I don't make it to the gym. It's also a motivator to take detours often!

Good luck to you. Remember, this too shall pass.

Allisgirl
01-03-2014, 11:48 AM
Wow I have not seen this thread and it feels so good to read that other people are having the same problem. With my vaca in Nov and the all the baking and Christmas I have gained 12 lbs. Yesterday I decided this was it I was going to get back on my Ideal Protein I get up get on my elliptical wear off 350 calories did great until 3:30 then all H broke loose I ate Carmel's, bowl cereal, chips crazy!! This has been a real hard time in Iow weather is very cold do not feel like going outside and my husband has had to travel a lot so I have been home alone a lot which I am not used to so I get bored and maybe a little depresses and turn to food.

Anyway thanks for this thread it has made me feel better reading other struggles and hope by sharing mine we can support each other.

MeganTheMushroom
01-03-2014, 12:53 PM
The holidays are always tough. I'm surprised how well I did though. I haven't been in a baking mood at all this winter break, and because of it, there were very few vegan desserts for me.
I had a minor binge about a week ago, but nothing serious. Today is Day 6. I had a good breakfast and an early lunch after an hour of shoveling snow which made me hungry! I'm still a little bit hungry, but I think I'll wait until I digest my soup and bread before I snack on some pineapple or persimmon.
It's so tough being home all the time, only going out to workout and walk my dog. I've been doing so well with not binging to pass the time though! :)

mainecyn
01-03-2014, 02:38 PM
Mainecyn-You are not alone! There are a lot of us out there. I actually gained about 15 pounds in the last couple of months and it hasn't been pretty. I had a really terrible binge on 12/28 and kinda/sorta overate yesterday. However, the binges have been becoming further apart. Once you can start getting a few days under your belt you'll slip less. Just think of these slips as aftershocks! I've decided to log everything in MFP, even when I'm "bad." This way it tempts me to binge less and I also don't want to see all the crap that I ate! Do you have time to exercise? I got a FitBit for Christmas. I've found that if I at least get 10,000 steps in I don't feel as bad if I don't make it to the gym. It's also a motivator to take detours often!

Good luck to you. Remember, this too shall pass.

Laceyj; thank you for responding. I am currently on day 3 of non binge type behavior, and not over eating. I know the longest I went was her on this thread, lasted around 20 days. I was feeling strong and did very well, then don't know what happened, what I did. I had even tried studying myself while I was binge free to really learn what triggers them and what helps with control. Nothing. My issue seems to be that when a binge starts the actually binge gets longer and longer..I will eat for days and days..over vacation i suffered from that by having a great deal of physical discomfort.I had gone 20 plus days binge free then I binged, and for 9 days I did nothing but eat over and over binging each day and eating from morning till night. I am noticing as well that I am gaining and not able to drop the pounds I've gained from the previous binge before I binge again and gain more weight..its getting dangerous.

I seem to live in a world where no one really understands the binge eating, that it isn't normal. I often think if I was bulimic, actually vomiting instead of just binge eating, someone might understand. There have been several times when I've tried to explain it to my husband, the addictive and not in control part, he doesn't get it, no matter what. I often just get the same line from my husband about me being a strong person and I'll stop OVEREATING when I want to.:dizzy:

I have been there, I have dug things out of the trash after changing my mind. I often thru things away, hoping it would help, or buying things I don't like as much, I still would either dig it out of the trash, or go buy something. I also have a draw full of candy that I say I am saving for the kids..its a precaution, that drawer where I open it and just look at whats in there and promise myself that this candy isn't in this drawer for me, but its a security blanket in case a binge hits. Unfort. I often binge on candy, chocolate, etc. I had to buy stocking stuffers twice this Christmas as I at every piece of candy I had bought (we are talking bags here) for all 5 kids and my husband.

I'm doing ok today. I just keep trying to tell myself that before I know it I will get a full week behind me. I am eating a great deal of protien, really focusing on that right now trying to break whatever it is inside me that turns on that binge switch.

davina
01-03-2014, 05:43 PM
I lasted for about 6 days on my binge free/weight loss plan and it went downhill fast.
Oh well can't give up entirely, gonna try again one of these days coming up.

Though the entire time I was consumed with thoughts of food or next meal.
It's like either binging/overeating or not everything revolves around food.

Fiona W
01-03-2014, 10:29 PM
I don't have anything special to report today, except for the fact that Kathryn Hansen, the author of Brain Over Binge, posted my story about using her technique to her blog: you can read it here, under "Tips for Beginners...Continued (Inspirational Testimony)" (http://brainoverbinge.blogspot.com/). I think the technique I describe would be useful not just for binge eaters, but for anyone who struggles with cravings and urges to overeat. Enjoy!

Navywife12
01-04-2014, 12:44 AM
I'm so glad I stumbled on this thread tonight! Everything you all have said is exactly what I have been going thru and it's time to get it under control for me. I binge at night after everyone is asleep. It's progressed so bad that 2 days ago I drove to Taco Bell in the middle of the night while everyone was asleep and no one even knew I was gone :(
I can relate to the feeling disgusting and ugly. I relate to not being able to eat 1 chip instead of eating the whole bag. I feel as tho I have spiraled and should be able to control my eating, but I can't. I feel like I let everyone down being this fat, my husband, myself, and most of all my 2 young girls who see everything I do. I don't want them to become me someday. That was my awakening point as I ate my 2 bags of tacos the other night. I have to learn to control this so I don't "give" it to my daughters.
I'm all in for this month in not binge eating or over eating. I'm going to check in here every night until you're all annoyed with me, but this will be my motivation. This is day 1 of not eating in the night :)

ILoveVegetables
01-04-2014, 05:09 AM
Just got back from a holiday out of town and am pretty happy to note that I haven't gained any weight. On the downside, I've been stuck at the same weight for months now. But the new year has started, and along with that came a new burst of motivation, so here's hoping this month (and year) will be a good one.

Allisgirl
01-04-2014, 09:14 AM
I just started reading Brain over Binge yesterday and it is so interesting and it makes such sense. Thank you Fiona for telling me about this book.

nextphase
01-04-2014, 09:37 AM
Hi, new to this thread but not to 3FC. I had to delete my old user account due to a hacking issue. Anyway, I totally struggle with night binging. Last night was a real struggle, but I stayed in bed and went to sleep. It didn't help that I think I was legitimately hungry, so I *almost* got up to have something but I knew it would not just be a banana.

What's helping, I think, is having a green smoothie around 11. It really keeps me satiated for a long time and then I eat one large meal for an early dinner, instead of one lunch and one dinner. It seems like this is exactly the wrong thing for someone who binges at night, but it seems to be working!

I also wrote down my goals for the year and binging & overeating simply don't fit into them.

Navywife12
01-05-2014, 12:51 AM
I did good last night, and so far tonight. Fingers crossed for the next 8 hours though (getting nervous thinking about it)

mainecyn
01-05-2014, 07:45 PM
I did better yesterday than today, probably due to the fact that I was out of the house and busy. I haven't binged, but I've eaten more than I had been and I'm not hungry.:( I could feel it sneaking up on me last night, i can't explain the feeling but it was coming. Generally, I ignored it most of last night but this morning and afternoon it was harder to. I started off eating what was purely allowed, and by late afternoon was crossing over into some questionable stuff that I generally don't eat but found myself wanting too. I was bored with the choices I had and also that binging feeling is coming. I'm frustrated, bored, upset, anxious, and just don't know whats gonna happen next. At least Monday is here soon and it means I will be gone back to work so not here at home with thoughts of eating things to deal with stress or when I'm upset or angry.

Navywife12
01-05-2014, 08:22 PM
How about a walk in the snow mainecyn? I'm assuming since you're in Wyoming there's now :). If I get out of the house even to take a walk the temptation subsides for a bit

Navywife12
01-05-2014, 11:11 PM
I did good last night. I'm about to get in bed and hopefully I stay put! We can do this!

ILoveVegetables
01-06-2014, 01:41 PM
Did well today. I'm finding more and more that it's easier to just skip a meal and then have a big dinner (that's what I did today) because even if I'm really hungry by dinner time, if I eat slowly then I don't overeat. I don't know if this is healthy or not though. I'm finding it tougher and tougher to manage my portions if I'm having 2 or 3 meals per day.

nextphase
01-06-2014, 09:17 PM
I came really close to binging tonight. My work schedule got messed up, so I'd planned out my day to be at work from 4-7. Instead, I was home. So, the big meal I ate at 2:30 was not going to cut it for the whole night. I didn't want to make a whole dinner, so I had a little snack of a few crackers. Bad idea! The kitchen is supposed to be closed!

I made the executive decision to eat something healthy but high in fat to satisfy my hunger and keep me feeling full. I ate a whole avocado with balsamic vinegar. 280 calories. And, now, I feel great. Disaster averted.

Navywife12
01-06-2014, 11:29 PM
I survived last night! That's 3 nights down and counting of not binging. I thought that paired with burning 550 cals each day at the gym my number on the scale would of moved but it didn't :(
Tonight hopefully I can get right to sleep and not enter the kitchen at all. I'm locked and loaded with a giant glass of water to drink to keep me feeling full.

ILoveVegetables
01-07-2014, 05:39 PM
Did well today, but it's 3 am and I'm fighting to avoid a binge right now. I ate lunch and dinner like normal, but I feel like eating something really badly, and I know I shouldn't. I can't sleep either, which makes it worse. I'm just posting here in an effort to alleviate the urge.

mrslosingit
01-07-2014, 09:21 PM
I'm stuggling on day 7 of not binging.how do I change this weight tracker?i can't figure it out

geoblewis
01-07-2014, 09:57 PM
Okay, I'm back. Holiday distractions, yada yada.

My issue is overeating. Today, I've done really well, except I ate some French fries when I wasn't really hungry. I think I actually stopped being hungry about three fries in, after I had an In-n-Out double-double protein-style. But I kept mindlessly eating. And I even noticed the fries were cold and no longer felt good in my mouth. Ick. Why did I do that?!!

I did it because I mentally checked out of my meal experience. I was edgy. Someone was talking to me and I was really done listening to him, but he kept going on and on. And he wouldn't leave! So I ate fries. Hmmm.

mainecyn
01-08-2014, 04:45 PM
How about a walk in the snow mainecyn? I'm assuming since you're in Wyoming there's now :). If I get out of the house even to take a walk the temptation subsides for a bit

While not a great deal of snow the last couple of days, there is extreme cold. We have been in the negative degrees temperature wise for a long time this summer. I don't do well with exercise in the winter, spring, summer, and fall, I like to walk. I tried to keep busy and get my mind off the wanting to binge. I did well, I ate, but didn't binge. I keep saying I need to find a winter exercise to do that I physically can do, but I'm one of those that hate exercise and always push the idea back.

I am doing ok these past few days. I haven't binged, broken "diet" but I have noticed night time wanting to eat, snack. I need to find something late at night to eat, acceptable. I honestly am wondering if I am not eating enough fat or protien at dinner time and that is why I find the need to eat something at 9 pm or later.

Last night I got up and wandered thru the kitchen, looking and trying to find something to eat. I was hungry but not overly hungry, just enough that I knew I'd be thinking about eating all night. I am going to try to eat more at dinner tonight and see how I do. I just am not hungry from lunch time till dinner. I find myself not eating much at all during the day while I work, and after preparing dinner I don't always want to sit down and eat what I make :(

Tonight, we are having hickory smoked turkey breast. I will have salad with it, plenty of Cesar salad dressing, some crumbled bacon, and I will also find a veggie to have with some butter for fat. I haven't really been paying attention to the amounts of protien or fat I'm eating and admit that its probably part of my problem. I will eat something, small salad with a bit of protien, feel neither full or hungry, then later on I get hungry and have cravings.

Emotionally, not good or bad. I've been busy and while I stay busy I do seem to do well and productive. However, I've noticed that I do have moments of ups and down emotionally at the oddest times...I can have doubts, or worries, creep in and then have a gloomly feeling come over me and other times I am ok. It happened today. I was great all thru work this morning and afternoon..I came home for lunch time and have spent it preparing everything for dinner tonight, doing dishes, vacuuming, and cleaning in general.

I was doing really well and feeling good, then I had an anxious or sad type feeling in the pit of my stomach come over me..like a disgusted feeling or "bad taste" in the mouth. I suddenly found myself thinking of bills and expenses, and then my mind wondered to my own personal feelings of inadequacy towards myself as a person, and then towards work as well. I dont 'know why i do it but I know it is related to why I binge. Does it make sense> anyone else go thru something like this?

I took my son to the dr again yesterday. My youngest is always prone to being sick, born that way and has stayed that way. His ear dr decided that he will have a new set of tubes placed in his ears next Wed. I am hoping that it finally will have Zak well, and not miss more days of school. I am battling the school over absences and stress dealing with teachers, worrying about my sons grades, etc.

I have things I want done here at home. I have a bathroom shelving unit I purchased two weeks ago. My son put one of them together for the kids bathroom, the other I bought for my bathroom is still sitting in the living room in the box. I keep hoping my husband will put it together and he hasn't..it started me down the line of should I ask him or not..then the other things I have wanted to ask him to do and haven't also ran thru my head...and I felt bad again. Its like I cant ask or expect him to do things without feeling bad. I want that shelf put together, I want the bathroom fan in the kids room fixed, and a few other things...he doesn't do them and isn't going to anytime soon-its been years.

Fiona W
01-09-2014, 12:13 AM
mainecyn, congratulations on your 8 days binge free! The more days you accumulate, the easier it gets...

By the way, y'all, I wrote a letter to Kathryn Hansen that she posted on her Brain Over Binge blog (brainoverbinge.blogspot.com). Check it out: you may well find it helpful. =smile=

HuggerBunny
01-09-2014, 09:45 AM
Mainecyn, I think you should gently ask your husband to assemble the bathroom shelving unit and fix the fan! He probably doesn't realize how much you want those things to be taken care of and would hopefully want to do it if he knows. Also, good job on 8 days binge free, how have the past couple of days been? :)

I've been gone from the thread for a while. Ended up enjoying Christmas food a little more than I'd intended (both in amount and how many days, it's tough when you have visitors!), but didn't do badly and am down 6 pounds since a month ago. Kind of relieved that there won't be anymore holidays until Valentine's Day and then my and my husband's birthdays 2 weeks later. Suppose I could have lost more weight the last month, but I'm happy with how things worked out. I really, really enjoyed Christmas. My goal is for my current way of eating to be long term and sustainable so I don't get burned out, and I think it's going well so far.

Tiny victory- on Monday, I was in a hurry and did not get any food before work. Got out of work at 3:30 and was very hungry and thirsty and knew it would be about an hour and a half before I got home. Decided to get a bottle of water from Subway. When I got in there, I felt even hungrier than before. Instead of getting a sub (I LOVE sandwiches), I got a salad with my water. It was really good, too! Lettuce, spinach, tomato, cucumber, bell pepper, olives, peperoncinis, a little shredded cheese, tuna, and their chipotle southwest sauce. Basically, my favorite sub without the bread and with spinach added.

Navywife12
01-13-2014, 10:29 AM
After 10 days of not binging at night, I fell off last night and I think I consumed about 800 calories :(
But today is a new day and after reading the posts on here from the weekend, I am not going to beat myself up. I am going to the gym for the 12 in a row today and getting back on the horse to kick my arse and put last night behind me. And I will not cry even tho I want to because I'm so disappointed.

mainecyn
01-13-2014, 05:02 PM
Things have not gone well. I have been eating everything I shouldn't, even planning it before i get out of bed. I also noticed that yesterday I actually ate things I shouldn't at my sons bday, no one said anything no one asked anything. I have been over eating so much but didn't over eat in public. I think it honestly was a cry for help, have someone ask something, say something, know that something is wrong...nothing.

I am trying to figure out how to do this, how to control this, and how it has become so bad..so life altering. I know I went downhill after falling off intermittent fasting..I wouldn't eat all day and then would eat at 5 pm...After I stopped doing that it has become uncontrollable...the binging. Im not hungry, my stomach says nothing and I don't need to eat but I am stuffing a bag of chips in, or eating cheesecake for breakfast. I don't know.

I am at day one again of trying to control what I am eating...who knows. I have been very busy at work this week, lots of stress, and I also haven't been online much because i haven't had time or haven't made time. I know I do better when I visit her, I control my eating, less likely to binge. I have cut myself off from a bunch of online friends, find that I also would rather not be around anyone...everyone gets on my nerves or even visiting is a chore. I don't know whats wrong with me..but its all tied together these symptoms and the binge eating.

pixelllate
01-13-2014, 06:00 PM
Mainecyn I've done the same thing last winter. Sometimes I find that just not really trying to do anything helps, and over time a calamity comes to me and it feels easier to be "back to normal" again. Depending on how I feel, no habit that I try to incorporate sticks, and sometimes I just need to look at it like a cloudy period that passes. This thought sadly never stuck with me (I was so hard on myself), but I hope that it does for you - that we all care for you and are here for you and value you no matter what you do or don't eat!

Navywife12
01-13-2014, 11:27 PM
I've done good tonight and am currently laying in bed. As long as I can keep myself glued here I should be good to go for the night. But it's a long 8 hrs especially when insomnia hits

ILoveVegetables
01-13-2014, 11:33 PM
I'm doing this stupid thing at the moment, which is sabotaging my own attempts at weight loss.

After being stuck around 210 for weeks and weeks, last week I had a little whoosh and went down to 205/206. But every time I see the scale moving down, I tend to get overconfident that 'this time my efforts are paying off', and suddenly decide to go eat. Yesterday I was 205, the lowest I remember myself being since I started. This morning when I woke up, I told myself to just go have an egg, but instead I had some fried snacks. I know just one cheat isn't the end of the world, but I always do this, and I'm posting here in an attempt to get myself to really wake up and stop being so silly about it. I just really want to get out of the 200s in the next few weeks, but if I binge every time I lose a few lbs, that's never going to happen.

Locke
01-14-2014, 01:09 PM
Hey all,

I just wanted to check in and say that I haven't binged since Saturday. :3 I'm not quite sure who recommended it, but I've been reading Brain Over Binge and it's a game changer. Thanks for your support.

mainecyn
01-14-2014, 04:14 PM
Mainecyn I've done the same thing last winter. Sometimes I find that just not really trying to do anything helps, and over time a calamity comes to me and it feels easier to be "back to normal" again. Depending on how I feel, no habit that I try to incorporate sticks, and sometimes I just need to look at it like a cloudy period that passes. This thought sadly never stuck with me (I was so hard on myself), but I hope that it does for you - that we all care for you and are here for you and value you no matter what you do or don't eat!

It is exactly what you are describing, no matter what habit I try to stick to to help me cope with this fails. The back to normal periods are getting less and less, day or two, with the binging lasting weeks. Its never been so bad, been so self defeating. I always find myself saying I want to stop eating, stop binging, yet it continues. That defines "helplessness" or "addition" in my book. I have told myself many many times that I am someone who suffers from binge eating but haven't really addressed the addiction part that directly. I am wondering if facing the binging as an addiction makes it any easier, less emotional, easier to handle. I don't know. I am wondering if anyone has had any success ever, if you can beat this.

Im so tired. I just don't know how to handle things..It seems everything makes me binge, happy, sad, lonely, happy, nervous, anxious, bored..there is emotional reaction that can't make it happen..then there are also the times when I am in a normal emotional sense and I find myself thinking of binging, planning it, buying food to binge on, and looking forward to it an "itchy" feeling that needs to be scratched, or a pressure that needs to be released..doesn't matter what you call it, it happens.

Today is day 2 again of eating correctly and trying to remain focus. I wish I could tell myself during times of binging or thinking of binging, stop, remember how you feel, remember your promises, anything that could stop if...yet I've tried all of these and it doesn't stop me.

I have a board meeting tonight an hour or so after work today. My son has surgery tomorrow, and I am busy trying to pay bills. I finished a project at work this week that did help with some of my stress level..just keep going. If I can get thru today, I can face tomorrow, right?

I do think about everyone here and know I'm not alone, but I've found it difficult to make myself get back on line and check in, to post, to get support..I went from being ok, to hiding..that alone feeling.

I hope everyone has an easier day today and lets try to get thru it.:hug:

arzu1991
01-16-2014, 12:03 PM
Hi everyone. Hoping I can just join this thread. The last time I binged was Tuesday the 14th. Sometimes I let my stress take over me and eat away my emotions.

I subscribe to a positive-themed mailing list type thing, and the woman who made it actually struggles with overeating. She recommended a book she found helped with those struggling. It's called "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth. I checked it out from the library. So far, it has helped me. I didn't binge last night, and I am feeling okay today. Obviously it's too early to tell. Maybe it's something you guys want to check out.

@Locke Brain over Binge sounds like another great book.

@mainecyn My heart goes out to you. Maybe read the book I suggested or the one Locke did.

Jubilee77
01-17-2014, 05:03 PM
Hi everyone. Hoping I can just join this thread. The last time I binged was Tuesday the 14th. Sometimes I let my stress take over me and eat away my emotions.

I subscribe to a positive-themed mailing list type thing, and the woman who made it actually struggles with overeating. She recommended a book she found helped with those struggling. It's called "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth. I checked it out from the library. So far, it has helped me. I didn't binge last night, and I am feeling okay today. Obviously it's too early to tell. Maybe it's something you guys want to check out.

@Locke Brain over Binge sounds like another great book.

@mainecyn My heart goes out to you. Maybe read the book I suggested or the one Locke did.

Hi Arzu1991! Lots of good information and support here. :)

orangesmartie
01-19-2014, 03:24 PM
Hi, I hope its ok for me to join in the thread. I'd really like a place where i can keep track of how many days I go without binging and somewhere to turn when i struggle. The support and encouragement and even being called out on excuses and held accountable on this forum is great.

I've been reading the thread for a while but only just got the courage to register and join in. I'm currently reading the Brain over Binge book and finding it really useful.

So i'm only 2 days binge/over eating free but hoping for many more.

HuggerBunny
01-20-2014, 04:09 AM
Bluh. It's been a kind of rough few days, for some reason none of the things that are fine for me to eat sound appealing, I want CARBS. Popcorn, pizza, pasta, at the moment sweet and sour chicken. I've managed to refrain, but it's no fun to eat only things that don't appeal to you :( Fruit and raw veggies (not cooked, ugh) are the only acceptable things that sound good, but the only fresh fruit we have right now is apples and I finished the last tomato yesterday. Tomorrow we'll be going to the store and loading up on produce. Regardless, I really hope this grip that carb laden foods currently has on me will lift soon! I'm now almost 3 months into this new way of eating and it's gone pretty well, but seriously, the past few days have been the hardest. I really hope it will pass soon and isn't indicative of things to come!

neelia
01-20-2014, 07:46 AM
I have joined slimming world and know what I have to do. It is my third week so far just lost 1 and a half pounds. I do great during the day and then in the evening I fall totally off the wagon. Three candies put me right over the top and the other evening 2 pitta pockets added my daily syns to 23!!!! Please someone help me to stop doing this!:?:

mainecyn
01-20-2014, 02:58 PM
I binged all weekend. I can remember standing at the counter in the kitchen and actually talking to myself and siding with binging. I had gone all week eating well, taking care of myself, and then I lost it. I ate bags of chips, cartons of cookies, bowls of cereal, a peanut butter and honey sandwich (which I've never done before), tortilla chips (bag) with sour cream, cheese, salsa, and guacamole, bowl of fruit, a bag of leftover Christmas candy, and so many other things I can't remember..all of it with in a couple of hours.

I have been trying to focus today and get past the feelings, the horrible self hate and embarrassment that has followed. I keep trying to find ways to convince myself into behaving like I used to, what worked, what did I lose and how did I lose it? Did I start to binge and then the feelings come, or did the feelings come and then the binging started? After years of success, losing a great deal of weight and keeping it off, keeping the binge eating at bay, it came back with a vengeance I have never seen.It comes across as a determination to damage myself, hate myself, sabotage myself. Does anyone else have the same types of feelings, or observations of themselves? I feel as if I am somewhere in my mind telling myself I can not succeed, like myself, be happy with who I am and how I look. I've tried to use guilt, tell myself imagine my husband seeing me acting on these binges, how disgusted he would be and not able to contain his revolt. Would the thought of embarrassment make me stop? The idea of showing my worst side, my deepest dirtiest thoughts and actions..

I have controlled my eating today, made myself a "sandwich" using green leaf lettuce leaves, two stips of bacon, a bit of turkey and ham..I had gotten to the point of feeling sick, also shaky, none of which happens when I stick to a low carb eating plan. I am feeling ill, all due to the binges.

Valkyrie1
01-20-2014, 07:45 PM
Mainecyn, I was complaining about bingeing and a friend who is a social worker wrote that we keep repeating addictive behaviors (like binges) because in some way they work for us.

I was thinking about my most recent binge (candy at the movies...lots), and I thought to myself, of course I planned this binge. I knew bingeing on candy would provide a temporary blast of quick pleasure.

I am going to have to brainstorm other healthier activities which work as we as bingeing. The new activities need to bring just as much instant pleasure as candy.

There are some activities such as sunbathing on rocks by a stream that I love as much as candy or bingeing. I need to make sure I am getting enough of those.

mainecyn
01-20-2014, 09:10 PM
Mainecyn, I was complaining about bingeing and a friend who is a social worker wrote that we keep repeating addictive behaviors (like binges) because in some way they work for us.

I was thinking about my most recent binge (candy at the movies...lots), and I thought to myself, of course I planned this binge. I knew bingeing on candy would provide a temporary blast of quick pleasure.

I am going to have to brainstorm other healthier activities which work as we as bingeing. The new activities need to bring just as much instant pleasure as candy.

There are some activities such as sunbathing on rocks by a stream that I love as much as candy or bingeing. I need to make sure I am getting enough of those.


I agree that binge eating is a type of addiction, I've known that for a long time, I have all the symptoms of any other addict, just substitute the work food for any other drug. I have been trying to battle the addiction but still haven't had much luck because the cycle just continues. If I could quit cold turkey and never have to touch food again, like giving up smoking, then it would be so much easier.

Valkyrie1
01-20-2014, 09:38 PM
Sometimes I will go without bingeing for quite a while if I can stay away from sugars and flours and simple carbs. My eating plan allows two desserts a week, and those can set me off if I'm not careful.

mainecyn
01-21-2014, 09:27 AM
I stepped on the scale this morning and I have binged my way up to 182 which is an all time high in years since first lost weight.

orangesmartie
01-21-2014, 09:41 AM
I stepped on the scale this morning and I have binged my way up to 182 which is an all time high in years since first lost weight.

Some of that will be water weight. But use it as a kick start, or a kick up the bum for you to take control. You CAN get a grip on this. Tell yourself that every day, every hour. It is difficult to do and there will be slips on the road, but your overall progress will be forward.

mainecyn
01-21-2014, 04:15 PM
Some of that will be water weight. But use it as a kick start, or a kick up the bum for you to take control. You CAN get a grip on this. Tell yourself that every day, every hour. It is difficult to do and there will be slips on the road, but your overall progress will be forward.

Thank you so much. I have gained back 12 pounds after being so excited to drop it a couple months ago. I am trying to focus on each second and not dwell on upcoming meals. I still do not know what works for me as nothing has in years. I have to find it at some point, right? I had done great for years and stayed carb free and binge free while I lost 82 pounds. I hit a stall that lasted almost a year, then the carb creep happened..slowly adding more and more healthy carbs back in, then adding more and more, and then turning to bad foods. I had broke free of the carb and binge addiction, or at least had it in control, remission. Now, its back as strong as ever.

I made it thru yesterday, very difficult. I felt miserable physically due to sugar/carb withdrawal. I've never had such headaches, acid reflux, and such. It is winding down right now. In the past I used to focus on just how awful I would feel after a binge..that worked for a while to keep me from doing it. But, eventually, the high from the binge, that great feeling, that excitement, that acceptance, I get from binging won over again.

I have been looking for advice on line and have found this info that might help others here. It is an article that claims to have 20 tips for Breaking Free From Binge Eating
found this article while I was looking around online to help control the binge eating habit I have. I also posted it in the January Binge Eating thread. While it is a very long article I wanted to share. It did help me come to the realization that most of my binge eating occurs because I stuff my anger, I get mad and then instead of dealing with that person or action that makes me angry, I binge to release all the emotions and tension..

Breaking Free from Binge Eating
These tips are not listed in any specific order.

1) Another diet is NOT the answer

There’s a good chance that a diet is what spiraled you into binge eating in the first place. I know that was the case for me. In the past I have experimented with several diets: low fat, low carb, and numerous others. And I kept looking for the diet that would end all of the confusion and allow me to escape the binge eating behaviors I had developed.
But thankfully I finally realized that another diet is not the answer.

In my experience, strict diets, especially those that revolve around limiting or completely eliminating foods, food groups, or macronutrients only add fuel to the binge eating fire.

The solution is not found in a diet, so don’t search for one.

2) Think ADDITION instead of RESTRICTION

This tip comes from David Dellanave and he posted it to his Twitter account a while back, and I think it’s so intelligently simple.

”In general I tell people to add instead of remove. When you add something, something else naturally has to fall away. Plus you’re focusing on an action you CAN do versus trying NOT to do something you’re already in a strong habit of doing.”

Don’t think about foods you should limit. For example, I love ice cream and I know it’s not something I should eat every day. But, instead of thinking, “Oh, I better not eat ice cream every day” I instead choose to focus on the foods I get to eat every day, and I make an effort to include a wide variety of foods into my eating regimen.

Restriction –> Binge Eating –> Guilt –> Restriction –> Binge Eating –> Guilt

As you can, a focus on restriction just leads to a vicious cycle of binge eating and guilt. Don’t think about restriction because it only makes things worse.

So ask yourself, what are you some foods you can ADD to your meals? You can even make an effort to choose a food from multiple food groups such as veggies, fruits, meats, dairy, nuts, etc.

Make sure you choose foods you like or new foods you want to try.

3) Stop trying to be perfect

I was once told that people who are self-proclaimed perfectionists are more likely to develop disordered eating behaviors, and I think they were right.

I’ve been a perfectionist most of my life. I even managed to get straight A’s in college, and I refused to settle for anything less.

As a result I applied this same attitude towards my nutrition, which I believe also led me to develop disordered eating habits.

Before I became a compulsive binge eater, I demanded perfection and only ate “the best” foods. My diet was “squeaky clean”, whatever that means.

If I messed up, I gave myself **** and demanded better.

All this ended up doing was making me miserable. I didn’t allow myself to enjoy meals, my favorite foods, or even family get-togethers filled with my favorite homemade meals because they weren’t “clean” enough for me.

After a while, all of this got to me. That’s when I really started binge eating.

I couldn’t take it anymore. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t be perfect all the time.

So I started to say, “Screw it!” and cut loose. That’s when I’d binge eat anything in site.

I still remember the first time I lost control and experienced my first binge.

It was scary. Little did I know it was the first of many.

“Perfect is the enemy of good” is a quote by Voltaire that basically claims that striving for perfection often results in no progress at all.

I also believe that to be true. Once I finally stopped trying to be “perfect” I was able to relax. Don’t look at things as if they’re black or white.You don’t have to be “perfectly on plan” or “completely off”. There can be a balance. Learn to find, and live in, that balance. Ditch the thought of perfection. You’ll be happier and much less stressed.

4) Stay off the scale

Many people who battle binge eating also weigh themselves frequently.

Get off the scale. That number does NOT indicate your self-worth. That number does not tell you what’s really going on with your body. It does not indicate your success.


5) Ditch cheat days

Some people claim a cheat day is the answer to their binge eating problem.

They’re “good” during the week and then one day, usually on the weekend, they go crazy and eat any and everything they want for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks.

I think this only contributes to the binge eating cycle. Because you’re only allowed to enjoy “forbidden” foods for that single day, you’re more likely to over eat AND eat foods you don’t even care for because of the fact they’re “off limits” every other day of the week.

Many people I’ve spoken to who have done the whole “cheat day” thing say they usually feel horrible that day, and after, from eating so much food. In my opinion, cheat days can also promote binge eating because you’re left thinking, “This is the only chance for a whole week I’ll have to eat these ‘forbidden’ foods.” As a result, people gorge themselves.

They end up eating foods they don’t even like and cramming as much food in their bellies as they can manage. In my opinion, stay away from cheat days.

6) Celebrate ALL victories and don’t dwell over minor set-backs

My binge eating habits were so bad I would binge every single day. I think I went a month straight where I would binge at least once a day.

But when I finally committed to being kind to myself and taking things slowly, I remember the first day I went without binge eating in over a month.

And I celebrated this victory.

Sure, I ended up binge eating the next day, but I still celebrated that victory.

Eventually I made it two days without binge eating. Then three.

Then I’d slip, binge, and start back from zero.

But the point is that I celebrated every victory. Whether it was going a day without binge eating, being kind to myself, or engaging in positive self-talk I would meditated on the good things and not dwell on the negative.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Celebrate whenever possible, even if it’s something very small.

And when you do slip up, don’t dwell on it.

I know it’s easier said than done, but when you do binge, don’t dwell on it for hours or even days afterward.

Just move on. Focus on something POSITIVE instead.

7) Ditch the rigid rules

Ditch rules about what foods to eat, what not to eat, when to eat, and any other rigid rules.

Instead, learn to listen to your body.

You don’t need a book to tell you what foods to eat or even when to eat.

I encourage you instead to eat real, whole, natural foods most of the time. Eat when you’re physically hungry and learn to do something other than turn to food when you’re gripped by emotion and want to eat.

It may take some time, but relearn your natural innate cues of physical hunger.

If you’re not hungry but want to turn to food, make an effort to do something else. An idle mind is often hard to combat, so try doing something physically active, get out of the house, go for a hike, or have a good conversation with a friend.

We’ll talk more about listening to your body in a moment . . .

8) Food may be fuel, but it should also be enjoyed

“Food is just fuel for the body,” some people exclaim. As a result, some people don’t care how their food tastes because they’re eating exclusively for the fuel aspect.

I’m not one of those people. I love food.

And I tried the whole “food is just fuel” approach in the past, and as a result I ate “healthy” foods I strongly disliked. I forced myself to eat them because they were good for me.

Likewise, many of my binge episodes consisted of foods I didn’t particularly like.

I’d eat any junk food that was around because I thought it was “forbidden” or “unclean”, and so I’d binge on it. I ate so many cookies, cakes, candy bars, and other processed foods I didn’t even think tasted good.

So the solution is simple – only eat foods you enjoy, whether it’s real, whole foods or some of your favorite not-so-healthy-but-delicious foods.

Food should be enjoyed. No matter what you’re eating, make sure it’s something you like.

9) Put the focus on what your body can DO

In the midst of my binge eating habits, working out was a chore. It was something I did to punish myself for eating so many calories.

And I began to dread every single workout.

But, when I was applying some of the tips on this list to my eating habits, I decided to overhaul my approach to strength training.

I put the focus on what my body could DO, and nothing else.

My sole purpose and focus at the gym was getting stronger and becoming more awesome. Adding more weight to the bar. Performing more challenging bodyweight exercises.

And this was a tremendous help to me. It allowed me to be proud of my physical abilities. To be proud of what my body could accomplish instead of obsessing over how it looked.

I appreciated my body for what it could do and what it was capable of.

I now focus on, and am proud of, my strength and what my body can DO

10) Have positive support

For the longest time I didn’t tell anyone about my binge eating habit.

But I knew I needed help, and so I confided in someone close to me. Someone I thought would help me and be understanding.

Boy, was I wrong.

I was basically presented with a, “That’s not a big deal. Why don’t you just stop binge eating and get over it?” sort of response.

Oh, wow! There’s an idea! Why don’t I just stop?

Don’t make the same mistake I did. Tell someone you know you can trust and who will support you. Don’t surround yourself with jerks who basically make fun of you and claim you’re blowing things out of proportion.

Years later as my binge eating got worse, I took the plunge and confided in someone else.

This time, it went incredibly well. This person didn’t judge me and was understanding and supportive, and this made a HUGE impact on me.

It was nice having someone to talk to who would listen without being condescending.

Find someone you can trust, and talk to them. You can always begin with a counselor or someone who is qualified to help with disordered eating habits.

11) Focus on ACTIONS, not outcomes

Proclaiming, “I want to stop binge eating” isn’t enough.

You’re far better off focusing on ACTIONS you can take, consistently, that will lead you in that direction.

Come up with some actions you can perform on a weekly basis.

Here are some examples:

Stock your house with real, whole foods you enjoy
Perform 3 strength training workouts per week and focus solely on what you can DO Engage in a fun activity 1-3 times per week
Focus on eating your meals slowly
Say one positive thing to yourself every morning and evening
Eat slowly and savor your food

Write down these action goals and any others you can think of and strive to complete them each week.

12) How to handle binge foods?

Different things work for various people, but what worked for me was keeping the foods I’d most likely binge on out of the house.

Now these foods were not “off limits” by any means. I learned to listen to my body and if I truly wanted a common binge food, such as ice cream, then I’d go out and buy a pint, bring it home, and enjoy it guilt free. This is important — learn to eat your favorite foods with zero guilt.

So my solution was to keep common binge foods out of the house, but go and get them when I truly craved them.

If you live with someone who likes having a ton of snacks or other foods that tempt you around the house, then try talking to them. Hopefully they’ll understand and jump on board with you.

This tip was very helpful for me, and over time, I was able to have previous binge foods in the house at all times without being tempted.

13) Stay away from “rapid fat loss” approaches

As a result of my binge eating problems I gained quite a bit of extra fat. And it devastated me. On several occasions I turned to “quick fix” approaches because I was freaking out and wanted to lose the excess weight immediately.

All this did was make things significantly worse.

You must lose the “quick fix” mindset and avoid these methods at all costs.

It sounds pathetically cliche, but you must take this journey one day at a time.

Remember to focus on daily ACTIONS you can control such as engaging in positive self talk, cooking homemade meals with new foods, focusing on your performance with your workouts, confiding in a friend, and other actions.

This is not about a quick solution. It’s about taking the time to heal and adopting a sustainable lifestyle approach that’s enhances your life and doesn’t dominate it.

You want to slowly develop eating habits you can sustain long-term.

14) Be patient

This isn’t a fun tip, but it’s important.

Throughout this process you must be patient. Don’t expect overnight results, and don’t give up either.

It’s going to take some time to break the binge cycle in addition to other bad habits such as negative self-talk.

But learn to be patient. That brings us to the next important point . . .

15) Be kind to yourself

You’re going to slip up. And when you do, you must be kind to yourself.

Berating yourself when you binge or slip up only makes things worse.

Instead of calling yourself a “failure” or something similar, be kind to yourself. Realize it’s just a tiny mistake. Give yourself a break because you are trying your very best.

You are absolutely wonderful, and you need to know that.

You’re awesome and strong. Be kind to yourself. Furthermore, this was mentioned in the positive social support tip, but make sure you’re surrounded by people who are kind to you, and people who know you are an amazing person.

Here’s a great quote:

Being around people who are negative or put you can can only make things worse for you.

Make sure you surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. If you’re not, then it’s time to make a change.

16) Know that you’re amazing as you are, at this very moment

My friend, you are not flawed. You don’t need to be “repaired” in any way.

Know that you are amazing as you are this very moment.

You don’t have to completely break free from the binge eating cycle before you can be amazing, because you already are.

Know that. Embrace it.

17) Learn to listen to your body

We touched on this already, but it’s something that really helped me.

Learn to listen to your body. Relearn how to identify physical hunger.

In the midst of my disordered eating habits, I couldn’t identify physical hunger. I lost that ability for well over a year, even when I started to recover from binge eating. But I was patient and became more intune to my body’s signals.

Learn to identify physical hunger. And when you eat, eat slowly and savor your food. Listen to your body’s signals and identify when you’re satisfied. Make an effort to stop eating when you’re satisfied, but not overly stuffed.

Know that you don’t have to binge because you can eat again when you’re physically hungry.

Again, this probably will take some time, but be patient and consistent.

Likewise, don’t look to diet books to tell you what foods to eat and what to avoid – listen to your body.

Eat the foods that make you feel best and cut back on those that don’t. You don’t need anyone to tell you what to eat. Your body is smart, so learn to listen to it.

18) Stop focusing on fat loss

Chances are one of your primary goals is to lose fat. And if that’s the case, I’m willing to bet the way you eat and work out revolves around thoughts of losing body fat.

Well, it’s time to stop thinking about fat loss and adopt a more positive mindset and focus.

This was another important tip that helped me break out of the binge eating cycle, and I highly suggest you give it a shot. Click here for more information on this topic (but please finish the rest of this article as well).

19) Engage in positive self-talk

We commonly, and unfortunately, use words like “hate” and “don’t like” when referring to our bodies.

It’s time to change that. Erase those words from your vocabulary and adopt positive, motivating, uplifting words instead.

Learn to compliment your physical abilities, personality, and even things you love about your physique. Focus on these things.

You may have to apply the fake it ’til you make it approach, but it’s an important step nonetheless.

First thing in the morning say, and mean, something positive to yourself. It can be about a body part you like, a physical ability, or anything else. Just say something uplifting.

20) Be confident

I know how discouraging it can feel when you’re battling disordered eating habits. I asked myself more times than I can count, “Will this ever get better? Will I ever be able to go a day without obsessing over food and binge eating?”

Admittedly, there were times I thought I’d never break free, but then I changed my perspective.

I knew I could defeat this. I knew some day I could use that horrible experience for something positive.

And that’s why I’m writing this article.

It’s my sincerest hope this helps at least one person. If it does, then I’m grateful for the battle I fought, and won.

And I know that you can win, too. Be confident. It will get better.
Your Turn to Break Free

How exactly you choose to implement the tips above is up to you. I do suggest, however, beginning with the tips that will be easiest for you to employ.

Don’t try to do everything all at once. Choose a few tips that sound the easiest and apply them. Do your best to apply those tips consistently for a few weeks, and then add another tip or two. Remember - be patient and be kind to yourself.

Focus on ACTIONS you can take on a daily basis.

all content nia shanks 2013





This article had numerous ideas that all of us could apply. It sure points out the cycle of binge eating, not only are there the physical issues after the eating it is the emotional issues that binge eating cause.

I have been very busy and stressed the past couple of days, work, family, etc. I am trying to make myself re-group and allow time for myself to focus on me, what I want and need..not in a "selfish" way of demanding items from others, but of asking for what I need emotionally. I know for a fact that a huge trigger for me are the step kids and the stress that occurs when they are here, the yelling, the mess, the craziness, staying up til 1 a.m. or how everything else disappears when they are here. I noticed the first binge over the weekend occurred while I was in the kitchen with them here. I had made a huge meal for everyone, they all attacked it, leaving an even bigger mess. My husband sat in the living room laughing and playing with the kids, video games, etc..while I fumed. I looked at that mess and running thru my head was am i am slave? I made a huge meal, now I have to take care of all the leftovers myself, gather the dishes etc..I became angry and "ticked" off with my husband. I told myself that how could he not even notice how mad I was and offer to help-I was slamming cupboards and making lots of noise. But no, my husband was oblivious to my anger and so were the kids. No one noticed or cared, or offered to help..I remember that feeling of FINE, and needing to find a way to relieve the stress that had built up, the anger. It was the same attitude and feelings of the old "I'll show you" yet of course no one knew and it was all for me..a way to internalize the anger and the fast eating, binging, helped release steam and anger..I spent the rest of the night stealing food from the pantry while no one was looking..and I ate and ate. By the end my stress was released and I stopped seeing red. I know this is my own fault. I also have dissected the past and noticed that this is a general trigger for me. I keep telling myself how is my husband supposed to know what I want or need if I don't tell him, well as a wife my emotional attitude is well he should just know, he should see me doing things and just come to help, it shouldn't be something I have to ask for..I'm that way, you never have to ask. I'm one of those spouses that get up to go to the kitchen and say "Do you need anything, a drink" etc. I make special trips to the store to pick up items he needs and never forget anything he ever likes, wants, or needs. I know it is all just differences.

I spoke (ok text) with a male friend last night. We have been friends since my x and I separated, no other anything between us. I share details with him about things I could never tell anyone else, embarrassing things. He lives in California so its easy to say I'll never see him face to face and be embarrassed. We both seem to have this issue of not asking what we want or need, it bothers his wife because she feels he's indifferent to things and her.

I on the other hand view my husband not jumping up to help at times, just going ahead and offering help when it looks like I need it without me asking, as he just doesn't care and doesn't want to help. My friend told me actually, for him and most men, things such as helping take care of dinner, etc. do not run thru his mind either..not because he feels his wife should do it or that he doesn't care, but because shes never once brought it to his attention and said hey would you please help me take care of dinner since I cooked. Its the little details such as those that he says we need to "speak up" and tell or ask.

I am telling myself that the anger or resentment I feel during times such as this, wanting my husband to notice what I need, or the kids, is not because of what they don't automatically do, but because I HAVE NEVER ASKED THEM TO IT FOR ME. It makes sense. Instead of confronting, speaking, or asking for anything, I just stuff it down. I have always been this way as an adult..it came from a 15 year relationship that was confining, abusive, neglectful. I remember I wasn't allowed to feel anger or be upset with my X and to deal with those feelings, along with sadness, I ate, and ate. I seem to be carrying this behavior over, doing what I know will work for me, binge. Binge eating is one of those all encompassing things, and it is an appropriate response to every single emotion or issue that comes up in my life, happy, sad, mad, depressed. I mean when has chocolate or cake not made a difference?

I remember telling myself after the disintegration of my marriage that i would never ever let myself keep my anger or disappointment inside myself anymore. I told myself I would speak up, ask for what I need, demand what I want. All of which I couldn't do. Well, where did that go? I am again dealing with emotions and binging. It all goes to the same place, deep inside me where it builds, the hurt, the need, the anger, the stress reliever. I sure miss smoking. I hadn't really made the connection that my binge eating returned after I quit. I think it was my own stress relief.

I am sorry for such a huge post, the rambling. But, Im one of those that thinks best as I get it out and typing my feelings and responses out really helps. I have been avoiding this site and this thread where I used to come and lay myself bare..it helped. I became too embarrassed to show myself here, admit that I had gave into the binge eating again after 21 days of being successful and so positive.

I hope my rambling, might be of use for some one else. I also hope that this article offers some insite for all of us hear, some ideas, and some new ways of thinking and reacting to our binge eating. I am going to print it out at work and paste it to my notebook and maybe I will also save it to my computer at work so I can read it when I really need it.

When I feel the need to hit that vending machine because I am hurt, angry, or afraid, I can say, have you read what it says about being positive, celebrate each success, etc. It might help, couldn't hurt right? I hate to think that the voice in my head wins and the horrible comment I made to myself some time ago "If I could just make myself purge and be bulimic there would be no problem" how could I think that about myself and want to put myself there? Yet, I did, I thought it, plain and simple. Yet unlike bulimics that want to empty themselves and rid themselves of that pain (purge), I want to stuff that pain and myself down to the bottom under everything (binge). Again, sorry for the ridiculously long post.

Locke
01-21-2014, 04:26 PM
I wanted to check in with you chicks. I haven't binged since reading Brain Over Binge, which was 10 days ago. That book has truly changed my life. :)

mainecyn
01-21-2014, 04:41 PM
I wanted to check in with you chicks. I haven't binged since reading Brain Over Binge, which was 10 days ago. That book has truly changed my life. :)

Wow, ten days, congratulations. I read a small amount of the book, a free preview from Amazon, and I didn't connect with it. I am figuring that they didn't offer the best parts of the book as a sample. I am glad that you have found some techniques that work for you. I keep strolling thru our libraries in search of books that might help me. they don't have Brain Over Binge, and I don't want to buy the kindle edition in case it just isn't what I am looking for.

pixelllate
01-21-2014, 04:44 PM
Mainecyn - MAJOR MAJOR HUGS to you and please don't feel sorry about posting - no matter what, I think that our posts are helpful to those who post or just lurk - that we aren't alone in our feelings. You are definitely handling a lot of stress. I too was that state of "trying but can't stop" when I was dealing with a lot of stress. Fortunately, I ended up making decisions that helped put me in a better situation which subsequently helped with the binge cycle and it sounds like to me like you are also finding solutions to the sources of your stress as well.

Locke
01-21-2014, 06:17 PM
Wow, ten days, congratulations. I read a small amount of the book, a free preview from Amazon, and I didn't connect with it. I am figuring that they didn't offer the best parts of the book as a sample. I am glad that you have found some techniques that work for you. I keep strolling thru our libraries in search of books that might help me. they don't have Brain Over Binge, and I don't want to buy the kindle edition in case it just isn't what I am looking for.

I'm not sure about Wyoming, but our libraries in California have a program called Link+ which is a very fast interlibrary loan program. If my local library doesn't have a book on the shelf I can search a database of books from around the country and it will usually arrive at my library in 3 business days. That's something you can look into to get a hold of books that you want to read but not purchase.

mainecyn
01-21-2014, 09:14 PM
I'm not sure about Wyoming, but our libraries in California have a program called Link+ which is a very fast interlibrary loan program. If my local library doesn't have a book on the shelf I can search a database of books from around the country and it will usually arrive at my library in 3 business days. That's something you can look into to get a hold of books that you want to read but not purchase.

Yes, we have a program like that with our library systems. You can request an "inter library loan" from all over the county, and state. I do it often with other books, cd's, dvds, that I want. I did the search and the book wasn't available. I should say that one library had the book, but it is a reference book not able to be checked out of their library. I may try searching again, or try to come up with another book option.

Thank you for the support pixelllate, I need it.

ILoveVegetables
01-22-2014, 02:04 AM
After reading so much on these forums about Brain over Binge, I finally downloaded it. I'm leaving for a 4 day vacation tonight, and I'm thinking about putting it on my tablet and reading it today and on the way there.

I'm stuck at 94 kgs (207 lbs), and while I'm going down really slowly, I'm ok with it as long as I don't go up. I'm hoping that this holiday doesn't get the better of me. Thankfully, the place where I'm going is known for its seafood (and I absolutely love seafood), so I'll be eating that almost exclusively. I'm making myself a promise not to drink much or eat between meals too much. We'll be on the beach all day, so it's super tempting to sit with friends in one of the beach shacks and snack on fries and beer all the time. Anyway, just to try and keep myself accountable, I'm going to hereby promise to:

1) Not drink more than one glass of any alcohol per day
2) Have maximum 2 fried foods throughout the trip, but try to order grilled, poached, braised, etc instead. As long as it doesn't have too much oil
3) Limit snacking between meals
4) Do a lot of swimming and walking

If I stick to this, I hopefully won't end up gaining much, if at all. I'll report back here once I'm back on Monday.

SouthernMaven
01-22-2014, 09:36 AM
mainecyn, those 20 tips are excellent! Thank you so much for sharing.

I particularly like #1, #4, #17, and #18.

Forgive me if it's already been mentioned, but I am currently reading Overcoming Overeating by Hirschmann & Munter. Like so many other books, there are parts that I do relate to and parts that I don't. If you can get it from the library you may want to do so.

Good luck - you can do this!

MeganTheMushroom
01-22-2014, 03:14 PM
Finally, a day that seems to be going well.
I had been wonderfully for most of break. I had my "I'm home, i can eat whenever/whatever I want" phase which faded into small portions and healthy choices and working out. About half way through our ski vacation, I started binging again and kept binging once I got back at school...
I'm up 7 lbs, but I'm sure a lot of that will shed off when I stop eating so much sugar and salt.

Today is about half way over, I just need to figure out how to spend the rest of the day.

mainecyn
01-22-2014, 04:33 PM
mainecyn, those 20 tips are excellent! Thank you so much for sharing.

I particularly like #1, #4, #17, and #18.

Forgive me if it's already been mentioned, but I am currently reading Overcoming Overeating by Hirschmann & Munter. Like so many other books, there are parts that I do relate to and parts that I don't. If you can get it from the library you may want to do so.

Good luck - you can do this!

I will look for that book. I think you are correct when you say that there are parts one person will relate to and others they can't. I need to find a book that works for me. I am a little shocked when I search our libraries online and see that there are so little books on binge eating. That is why I posted that info yesterday. I still haven't printed it out and want to, I only really scanned it yesterday.

I am hoping that by the end of the week I will drop a pound or two. I am on day three of eating well, eating clean. I have taken a real step forward these last two days. I am an emotional eater and when I'm angry, sad, etc. I turn to food. Well, last weekend I started out getting upset and angry over issues at home-needing something and not receiving it, so I internalize the anger and then the next thing you know I am eating, and binge. This is my cycle.

I took a look at my actions, the reasons I eat, or at least some of it, and the anger I felt that caused me to binge was over not getting something, but I didn't even ask for what I needed. It really hit me in the face Monday that while I like to think that people will give you what you need or want without asking, it doesn't happen.

So, how can I change things. Well, for starters I can ask for what I want, need, and let people know how I want to be treated. I have issues asking for help from my husband, then I get angry when he doesn't "just see I could use help" or offer to help..like I want him to read my mind. I cooked a huge meal over the weekend with a house full of kids and a husband playing video games in the living room for hours.

After they all ate, I ate last, I waited and waited for someone to take care of dinner and then I knew no one was going to do it. I then spent 20 mins (angry mins) taking care of dinner while no one noticed and I was fumming thinking how could my husband not notice and not come help. I then spent another 20 mins cleaning up the huge mess that was left. After doing all this, I then started binging on everything I could find while they stayed in the living room.

I understood that in order for my husband's actions to change I needed to TELL HIM I need this or that from you. I told him today and you know what, my husband told me you are right, I need to help you out and I am sorry I make it come across as you are unappreciated and that all of this should always be your job.

Wow, success. I had no idea that this is how things really work. You have to ask for what you want or need before you can get angry over not receiving it. So, there I go, an answer. Before I turn to food and get angry over my husband not magically reading my mind I need to say something. I have this binge reaction because of this at least half the time. I just decided since I seem to have an issue controlling the binge, I might be able to control what makes me turn to the binge BEFORE it happens, cut it off the cause before getting the effect. You know, it could help and might work?

I had a stressful time at work today, this entire week has been difficult.Our boss seems to be very stressed out with some big things happening and it is coming back down to us in the office. I also had to start coming in half an hour earlier as I am training. A lady in the office is going on maternity leave soon. I am training to do her job, and will also be taking over that job full time later on this school year. Its not a job that I really wanted, but it is a step in the right direction and experience in the office, more experience than I currently have.

However, I don't do well answering a million phones, dealing with rude people, and no I do not have a great deal of organization skills. This is going to be a stresser for me, as well as organizing and sending out other employees every day. Guess I will learn, right? So, I started my day off right by getting up to go to work at 4:30, instead of 4:45 this morning. I still was 10 min. late. So, guess I have to get up even earlier tomorrow.

This morning there was an awkward moment for me at work. I was in the "breakroom" and microwaving my cup of coffee. My main job in our department is to record all DOT physicals, driving records, keep track of all training Cpr, etc. for each employee (130+ employees).

I had a newer employee stop me and he was very upset. He asked me if I new about the "new regulations" coming out in May regarding passing DOT physicals. I said "Yes, I know that the government is now going to make it so every single dr office gives the physical the same way and has the same guidelines, they will be enforcing rules already there."

Then, he let it all out. He said he was scared that come May the dr told him he would no longer meat the requirements and pass the physical due to his weight. The drivers will now need to be able to lift a certain amount of weight to prove strength, as well as meet weight requirements themselves. This man is over weight, he told me over and over about how he has tried to drop weight before and he can't and that I didn't understand how hurt, how humiliating it was to be told this "because you are skinny". :?:

I looked at this man as he told me he weighed in at 317 on the dr scale, actually he didn't know I keep the physicals and know that he weight was really 394 lbs. He was going on and on about how skinny people just don't understand how humiliating, upsetting, and hopeless being told to lose weight makes a person. He said to me just how would someone like you understand anyway, and this is my job on the line..I looked at that employee and said, I understand better than you think I do, I lost 100 pounds a couple years ago..he told me, no way, you are skinny. I told him again, I lost that much weight.

Eventually, this driver seemed to look at me differently. He seemed more accepting knowing that I had been overweight, even though he didn't believe it. I told him I had weighed 250 lbs a couple years ago. I couldn't walk, couldn't breath, high blood pressure, type two diabetes, and couldn't fit into theater seats or on fair rides with my kids. He asked me how I did it and I told him I went on a low carb eating plan, gave up all flour and sugar. When he didn't freak out over the mentioning of low carb I used the word Atkins. I explained I knew just how hard it was to drop the pound, and that I still battle my weight and self esteem every day. Of course this man had the wrong impression of Atkins, told me "isn't that where you can eat all the cheese and meat you want?" I told him no, it isn't. I offered to sit with him and listen to his concerns and what was going on with him if he needed it later.


I told him I cut my carbs to under 20 g a day, upped my water intake, and that I walked and walked. When he told me that wasn't possible i told him yes it is, eat lots of salads with cooked checken breast, boiled eggs, chopped bacon, and lots of fresh veggies. I also told him that I understood he drives all day and didn't feel he could exercise but that there was a walking track right behind our building and that I used to walk it every day before and after work for at least 30 mins. I was hoping I got the message across that for each excuse he gave me there was a way to fix it and get what he needed. At times the guy really wanted to hear it, and then other times you could tell he just kept making excuses in his own mind..he told me maybe it was his hormones, or that he just couldn't lose weight no matter what he did. I told him no, it isn't. I offered to sit with him and listen to his concerns and what was going on with him if he needed it later.

This conversation really got me thinking. For over a year I have felt like a huge failure, that I keep gaining back 20 lbs, can't seem to stop binge eating, and this conversation made me look at things and understand that what we may view as a personal failure is really a huge success story for someone else.

The man kept going on about how skinny I was. I look at myself and think FAT and ugly. This man looks at me as someone who had no problems whatsoever and was perfect, not being able to relate to him or others who are over weight and now facing this at work. This man also made me think that while I thought this driver was making a great deal of excuses for not tackling his weight, and was as defensive as I was at that size, I was and still am making excuses to myself over being able to stick to my own eating plan and get back to exercise. I did it once right? I am someone success story, WHY CAN'T I BE MY OWN? Do I make any sense?

I had an emotional issue coming home. I started to go into panic mode. I got home and saw a post it note stuck on our door. At first I was thinking it might be a :val1: note from my husband-I often leave cute love note post its for him. I was all excited until I noticed that it wasn't the color of any of our post its..I got to the door.

The post it had my husband's name on it and asked him to call this man who said he had legal papers for him. I started freaking thinking my gosh maybe he's being sued? Is his x asking for more support etc. I felt that feeling creeping up on me again. I started to make myself busy and then analyzed the situation and came up with other reasons..I felt ok what kind of process server would leave a post it note asking you to call you with a thank you under their number? Also, I reminded myself that 1 we just paid off his car loan and maybe it could be his title since we have waited for a month and it hasn't arrived, and 2-he works with high risk kids who have come out of the jail and court system.

One student just recently went back into jail and is due in court again..he may be getting told he has to come to court-the kid was removed for a great deal of reasons but my husband has had to control him when he has become violent at school..Then of course I went right back to thinking maybe he's getting sued? His dog bit someone a year ago. While not bad and nothing happened with it but the dog being kept inside for 48 hours, maybe they changed their minds, even though they were the ones on our property..my mind just keeps going. UGH I hate it.

A great deal of things happening, so many that I DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER. I want desperately to be able to control what I CAN control..like my eating. My binging is just as out of control as my life. Years ago as a teen I felt like this as well with my life, invisible as well, and instead of binging I became anorexic. It was so different than I got a high off feeling control, off from depriving myself of food. I felt stronger and more in power as I physically became smaller, weaker. I starved myself down to 77 lbs. Yet, no one noticed. It was a long road back, done on my own, no one in my family even noticed the eating disorder then.

I didn't hide the anorexia I just didn't eat at all, I often said I ate before our meal, or just didn't eat. Now, I hide this binge eating, this disorder, and people should notice it since I gain weight and that is difficult to hide..yet I am embarrassed about this eating disorder and feel controlled by it, weak and out of control..how crazy. Anyone else have this experience of having a previous eating disorder before binge eating?

I tend to ramble on this thread, but at least I get it all out. Right? I also take comfort in the fact that you all can just skip over what I am saying if you don't want to read it :D It just makes me feel stronger to get everything out and not keep it in. I dont' have friends to talk to and figure things out with.

I hope everyone has a great day today. I hope we all get what we need today and have the strength:hug: and ability to ask for what we don't.:hug:

:grouphug::grouphug:

:dust:
Here we go, some for everyone.

mainecyn
01-22-2014, 04:36 PM
I'm up 7 lbs, but I'm sure a lot of that will shed off when I stop eating so much sugar and salt.

You will, and you will feel better emotionally and physically. Adding vacation and anything different to your day to day activities and it really does result in a change in your eating. I always have the best intentions of behaving over vacations from school, the holidays, and even the weekends..but so far it hasn't worked, or at least I haven't made it work. :hug:

orangesmartie
01-22-2014, 05:04 PM
Really struggling tonight. I've had a really long and busy (but not overly stressful) day. I'm busy justifying to myself why I should eat the breakfast bars I have in the car, or a bowl of cereal. I am already over my calorie allowance for the day, so what would it hurt? I am not hungry and I do not need those things. I will not give in to those urges to binge. I will not rationalise and engage with them. I will ignore them. I choose to ignore them.

orangesmartie
01-22-2014, 05:31 PM
Mainecyn, I also want to say well done to you on 3 days B-Free! Its a great start.

I know how you feel about regaining lost weight. When I started my weightloss journey in 2012 i weighed 280lb. By June 2013 I was down to 190lb. By December 2013 I weighed 220lb. I put 30lbs back on in 6 months. I am gutted that slipped so badly and put on so much weighed, that I fought so hard to lose. But i slipped back into bad habits. I thought I had the weightloss thing licked, boy how wrong i was! Now i have to lose that 30lb all over again, before i can even think about losing any more. I think your description of carb creep is exactly right. Although in my case it was sweet creep. Just a treat, here or there, or ice cream here or there.

I have found the Brain over Binge book so helpful in thinking about what the urges are doing/saying and what the real messages are. I think we have to utilise a number of tricks in our arsenal to keep the binge monster at bay.

With regard to your colleague at work, who looks at you as a success (which you ARE!) could you and he support each other? Walk together round the track? Share food diaries and recipes? He may feel so overwhelmed and daunted and have no idea where to start, so some encouragement from someone as successful as you might help kick start him. And the positive benefits for you are someone to be accountable, and the extra incentive to go walking and keep on track with good food. And you can get support in your day to day life from him too. ITs often easier to keep on track with support than doing it by yourself.

Try not to let the stresses of the day overwhelm you. Easier said than done i know! but all of those things are out of your control. The one thing you do control is what food you put in your mouth. Focus on that and the decisions you make about your food.

You can do it, one small step at a time.

mainecyn
01-22-2014, 09:19 PM
Mainecyn, I also want to say well done to you on 3 days B-Free! Its a great start.

I have to say congratulations on 4 days yourself! I know how you feel about regaining lost weight. When I started my weightloss journey in 2012 i weighed 280lb. By June 2013 I was down to 190lb. By December 2013 I weighed 220lb. I put 30lbs back on in 6 months. I am gutted that slipped so badly and put on so much weighed, that I fought so hard to lose. But i slipped back into bad habits. I thought I had the weightloss thing licked, boy how wrong i was! Now i have to lose that 30lb all over again, before i can even think about losing any more. I think your description of carb creep is exactly right. Although in my case it was sweet creep. Just a treat, here or there, or ice cream here or there.

I have found the Brain over Binge book so helpful in thinking about what the urges are doing/saying and what the real messages are. I think we have to utilise a number of tricks in our arsenal to keep the binge monster at bay.

With regard to your colleague at work, who looks at you as a success (which you ARE!) could you and he support each other? Walk together round the track? Share food diaries and recipes? He may feel so overwhelmed and daunted and have no idea where to start, so some encouragement from someone as successful as you might help kick start him. And the positive benefits for you are someone to be accountable, and the extra incentive to go walking and keep on track with good food. And you can get support in your day to day life from him too. ITs often easier to keep on track with support than doing it by yourself.

Try not to let the stresses of the day overwhelm you. Easier said than done i know! but all of those things are out of your control. The one thing you do control is what food you put in your mouth. Focus on that and the decisions you make about your food.

You can do it, one small step at a time.

Thank you for the reply to my long post. I have to say that yup, your description is just what happened to me. I feel that since I didn't reach my original goal weight , I failed. I mean I lost so much weight, and then slowly began putting it back on when I got to that time in weight loss where no more would come off..I began that attitude of well I can't take it off anyway. I did the same thing with a little bit here and a little bit there with the eating. In the beginning I would over eat on acceptable foods that were in other phases, like berries. Pretty soon I was eating 2 or 3 containers of strawberries instead of a real suggested serving. My thought process was, but they are a healthy food choice so it isn't like i'm eating ice cream, right. I bought into that logic. I eventually went from berries to maybe I could eat chocolate occasionally, then it became a lot and often. Then I would spend several days eating horrible foods and try to make it up with a day or two of eating induction foods. Like that is going to help?

Anyway, I am trying. I figure if I can at least try to keep track of my carbs and pay attention, I can do better right? I also made myself not eat last night after dinner, generally thats when the snacking starts. I felt so hungry and upset, then after a while the hungry feeling left. Usually, I just would get up and eat.

The co-worker, hes a new employee and really has no interest in "buddying" up. After talking with him some more this guy isn't really wanting someone to work with him and help him drop the weight he says he needs to. Instead, he wants to complain about how unfair it is, be defensive about his weight, and tell me I still don't understand. He also sees me as "thin" never knew me as heavy, I think if I still was heavier he might be more comfortable. But, he seems more like someone who likes to talk about it and not do anything. There are a couple of people like that at work, 4 at least. They used to be friends of mine until I began to drop weight a couple years ago, now they ignore me and rarely even acknowledge me. It hurt when my friends starting ignoring me and then had nothing to do with me because I changed my lifestyle and my weight when they did not. :(

I made it thru a stressful day at work, it got worse this afternoon when the phone wouldn't stop ringing. I ended up staying an extra hour at work answering the phone-68 calls in an hour. There were questions about a bus that broke down, lost children, etc. I eventually made it out of work and came home to make dinner. So, everyone will be eating very late.

My husband learned that his important papers were the child support papers that I thought could be a possibility. He is going to be paying more childsupport, an extra $150 every two weeks. Luckily for his x he always pays his support, pays his part of the medical bills, buys clothes, and gives her money for "extras".

I have to be at my desk at 6 a.m. tomorrow to train some more in the new job, it will be an every day thing. I'm not looking forward to the time I will miss sleeping. Ive always been a morning person and have no issues with getting up, always worked, but its been since my teenage years that I had to get up before 4:30 in the morning. I look at it this way, at least I'm not a new mom who gets up 8 or 9 times in the middle of the night too. Right?

MeganTheMushroom
01-23-2014, 11:17 AM
Thanks mainecyn :)
Yesterday got really tough. I kept doling out leftovers from my dinner, then putting it back in its container and in the fridge, taking it out again, piling some into a bowl, and putting it back... I wound up winning! :) Of course, I had spoonfuls of food while doing that, and two bananas, but fruit is always good and I didn't let things get out of control.
I just keep reminding myself of how good it will feel to be successful.

Day 2 is going well. I had a good breakfast, am going into town later today with friends, so that will distract me for a few hours, and I should have homework to do tonight to keep me busy.

LilDazed
01-23-2014, 11:30 AM
Got invited to a wine and cheese party tomorrow evening. =P Aagh! Couldn't say no.
I can be good. A few nibbles of cheese and maybe treat myself to two glasses.

mainecyn
01-23-2014, 04:42 PM
I just spent an hour writing a post to a different thread about binge eating. A member posted something about her own personal views towards what she described as binge eating. I wrote over and over, poured my heart out, and in the very end I couldn't hit the post button. She relates binge eating to a habit in her case and a few other things that caused others to post and disagree with her opinion. She also mentioned that binge eating is due to restricting food or dieting and that you don't see skinny people suffering from it (binging). I totally didn't agree with what she said.

I know things are different for everyone, but I believe she was over generalizing binge eating, which has multiple causes and symptoms. I wanted to ask her just what were her "binge" experiences, how long did she "have it", what were the amounts of binge foods, etc. For me personally I feel the term binge eating is thrown around to often and used to describe those that may occasionally sit at the tv and eat a container of Oreos and pint of ben and jerry's once in a while.

The true disorder encompasses so many different mental and physical issues that her explanation just doesn't mesh with me. I wanted to tell her so many things, or post my own thoughts, but couldn't after 3 attempts. I suffer from this eating disorder every single day. I have normal willpower and emotions, but then there is another side of me, when I have an episode and binge it is totally different. I wondered, but didn't ask, if she suffered from the binge eating cycle with all the emotional issues that come with it, and the hiding of food etc. It just didn't seem like she did. Who am I to judge? Maybe she just has found the magic answer and suddenly is cured, but it seems so unlikely to me as this eating disorder has been with me my entire life.

The idea that someone can just suddenly decide they are no longer a binge eater and figure out the one problem? It has so many multiple problems it just doesn't seem possible. For me my binge eating disorder is a mental or physical problem like depression. I feel it is a chemical imbalance that is triggered or acts up..somehow and for some reason that area of my brain that controls the eating response becomes over stimulated and I binge. Like the chemical imbalance in depression, to much or too little of one chemical in the brain can change everything.

I was on amino acid therapy a year ago, after reading promising results using them to treat binge eating..the articles and the dr said that binge eating is often associated with to little of certain brain chemicals and the response is the binge. They worked for a couple months and then it got to where I had to keep increasing the amounts I was taking to help keep the sharpness of that need to binge off. It didn't totally take all the urge away but the need to binge became a tiny voice in the back of my mind compared to a barreling train screaming thru my head and causing physical reactions of sweating, increased heart rate, etc. I keep thinking that maybe I will begin the therapy again after taking time off from it, hoping for results again. I just don't know. I cant explain my binge eating or give it just one source. There are multiple factors that combine to tip the scale in the favor of a binge. I feel that the chemical imbalance I have makes me prone to the binge behavior and then you add in other day to day factors, stress, emotions, anything like that, and my body kicks that binge reaction into gear-binging is a physical response for me due to mental and physical stimuli (real or imagined such as a real insult and stress or the imagined insult I sometimes feel due to low self esteem when someone looks at you and you think they are judging you saying you are not good enough etc..that triggers a response from me).

I am of the belief that eating disorders vary from person to person. There are some people that seem to genuinely begin something like anorexic or bulimia or attempt to and "cant" and then there are those who dont try to be that way and they are anyway..sort of the same thing in people who drink. There are people who can drink and they don't become addicted to it. I only use this as an example because I do remember in high school a couple of friends trying to lose weight by "becoming bulimic" and they didn't have all the other factors that cause the eating disorder..I can remember them in the bathroom trying to thru up their lunch and hearing them saying well thats just gross I can' t do this each time I want to eat-they had no emotional issues tied to the disorder or physical "need" to act out the cycle or binge and purge that a bulimic knows.

I never tried to become a binge eater, don't remember my first binge because it seems like such a part of me and there never was any real choice or decision made on my part. I had just as much choice in suffering from binge eating disorder as I did being born with green eyes..it just happened and its part of my makeup. For whatever reason, the action to binge is part of me. It is as much a disease as asthma, depression, etc. I'm not saying it is the same thing, I am just saying you can not chose being born with any of those either. There may be some people who some how, some where, are able to say I am going to "binge" on Friday night and eat a pizza, ice cream, and everything else I want, then be good all week..to me that signals more of an over eating kind of thing that we all might do on occasion. Heck, I am able to feel three different things towards food, there is the normal eating behavior that i have, an occasional over eating, and then there is the binge that I can't make a choice in it occurring (the feeling or need to binge)..its like an attack and I feel like I will die, like I'm obsessed, a true addictive behavior and actions, unless I follow thru.

I don't know, maybe I am just different. But, does anyone else have these experiences? I mean there are times when I can have a normal relationship with food-go to a restaurant or family gathering, not even want to eat or just eat what would be a normal amount and stop because I am full. I don't have that binge feeling with me. The binge isn't about being hungry, I've felt hungry too and I just eat a normal amount til I'm full, then there is the binge action that happens and I'm not hungry, I don't taste the food, and its not about enjoying the food I am eating-the food is just a way to deliver the high or a tool that I use during the binge storm. Eventually, after enough of the food is consumed the physical feeling stops. I don't feel full psychically even though I've often consumed 20,000 + calories, I just feel flat and indifferent towards the food. I could still go on to eat a normal meal later after eating enough for 5 people-and I often eat dinner an hour or so after a full out binge. Its a mystery and I don't know how my stomach doesn't just burst.

I am hanging on today, went into work just before 6 to start training. I can't begin to explain how much I disliked getting up at 4:05, instead of 4:45 which I had thought was bad enough. I will do it, and learn what I need to learn, but I dont' see me getting much gratification out of this job that I am learning since its not a job I really want. But, I will try to learn as much as I can, and do the job well. It is a lot more work that I have never done before and there will be the added stress of dealing with tons of parents on the phone, running the office and people at work..I worry that changes wont be good for me and that I might eventually have food issues when I have a bad day or get stressed, guess we will wait and see. I hope it has at least once bonus for me in the fact that I might walk away with a little more self esteem, feel a sense of self worth, learning something I thought I'd be no good at and not able to do? Maybe, it might be good for me? I'm trying not to be negative. One plus, my husband called and left me a voicemail this morning telling me he loves me, proud of me, knows I will do a good job, and missed me this morning because I was at work before he even woke up this morning. It means a lot to hear him be confident, and also great to hear his voice saying "I love you". He wants to hear all about my day when I get home tonight.

I did make an appointment to have my hair cut about 4 weeks ago..its tonight at 4:30 after work. I can tell that emotionally I am not as confident, not as sure of myself after gaining back these 12 lbs. I was upbeat, happy, and liked how I was feeling and looking last time I made that appointment..this time I am having the anxious feelings I often get going into public, the feeling of being judged, not fitting in, being surrounded by those perfect women at the salon and just not being able to handle it. Well, it could be worse right, I will remind myself that at least you don't have to be naked in public to get a hair cut:) its not like anyone can really see what I look like under my clothes-right. lol. I just often get that feeling emotionally of being judged of others seeing me and knowing I'm "fake" that I am not as good as they are, that I am fat, that I binge and can't control myself which is why I'm heavier than when I was there last time, and I always have that feeling of being stared at-all my life and that voice in my head tearing me apart with things like those ladies are thinking about how ugly you are, you can't do your hair, your nose is to big, and if they were you they wouldn't come in here, you don't belong here. Oh, the joy. right>

orangesmartie
01-23-2014, 07:17 PM
Hi Cyn,

I'm sorry but I don't totally agree with you. I haven't seen the other post. But i do know that for me personally, binge eating has become quite a habit. In certain situations, when i feel certain emotions (most of 'em) I turn to food. It probably didn't start out that way, but now it has become an automatic reaction to some things. The only reason I now call it a 'habit' is because I am more mindful of my behaviour and why I am doing it. At the same time, when the urge to binge comes on, i feel completely out of control, it pushes me to get in the car and drive to the shops for a mountain of sweet food. So there perhaps two types of binge behaviours - that urge that seems to come from nowhere and nothing but what i crave will suffice and those binges which aren't driven by urge, but driven by a habit, the memory in the brain of 'when i sit and watch xxxxx show, i eat xxxx'.

My binge eating is clinically diagnosed, by specialist medical staff, so I do fit the clinical definition of a binge eater. My binges can consist of many thousands of calories in a very short space of time, and have the secretive behaviours, the hiding and hoarding. Like you, i can binge on a good 10,000 worth of calories and then sit down to a meal with the family.

I have no idea what triggered this behaviour. Looking back through my life, I realise that I have had these behaviours since I was quite a young child (6 or 7). There was certainly no dieting involved. My mother has never been on a diet in her life (and she is quite large). All of my family are large. Only my maternal aunt has ever worried about weight and dieting. My grandparents owned a confectionery shop, one of those old fashioned ones, and there was never any restriction on me having sweets. So I disagree slightly that binging starts because food is restricted.

Since i realised what my eating problem was and got my diagnosis (about 14 months ago), I did a lot of reading and research on the subject. None of it resonated with me. Everything i read told me that my problem was emotional. That i ate because i couldn't deal with my emotions. That I ate because i had unresolved issues in my past and i was trying to stuff them down with food.

I didn't believe this to be true. I am a fairly self-open person. By this i mean i don't hide from myself. I acknowledge and embrace my faults and failures for what they are - an opportunity to learn. So i went back over the major events of my life to see what was lurking from there that I was ignoring and I couldn't think of anything. I've had two sessions of therapy with a counsellor and we've gone through my life timeline in some detail. He agrees that he doesn't see anything in there as an emotional time bomb.

I do eat in response to my emotions, but not because I'm trying to suppress them, or hide them or ignore them. But because it seems to me to be learned behaviour. I feel happy, lets celebrate with cake! I feel sad, lets make it better with cake. I feel angry, lets calm down with cake.(and ice cream and biscuits and chocolate and cheese and milkshake and and and!).

However, I did start reading Brain over Binge at the weekend, and so much of what is said there did resonate with me. The thing i need to figure out is what triggered the cycle way back in the beginning. What she says about neural pathways forming stronger and stronger chains in the brain the more you repeat an action makes perfect sense to me.

However, for me, its not a case of I've made a decision to stop binging, so now I've stopped. I have made a decision to stop binging. Its the same decision I've made every morning for the last 18 months. But now, I have an understanding of how i make it stop. What the urges are. And thinking about it in that sciency-logical way so far makes it easier than thinking i'm emotionally deficit in some way. But I have battled with it on a couple of occasions this week (yes i've only been trying a few days, but thats a win for me!). The urges are still there, growling in my head, but i feel better equipped to deal with them. I don't know how long it will last. But should I fail, i will pick myself up and start again. I am not suddenly cured. I will have to be on my guard against this for the rest of my life I think, but now i have some tools in my arsenal which seem to be helping. I don't think there is one magic cure. I think I need lots of different techniques, used in combination or rotation to help me. For example, when i was initially losing weight, it was because i was hosting a big dinner for my dad. I wanted to have a beautiful dress. I wanted to look good. I wanted him to be proud of me. That gave me the strength to resist the urges. Pretty much the week after the dinner, i returned straight back to old habits and eating patterns. Even though I had 'goals' of walking a 15 mile charity walk the next week and running a 5k 3 months later, they did not motivate me in the same way to 'break my programming' and in less than 6 months I gained back almost half of the wait I'd lost in the previous year. No goal set by my trainer has yet inspired me in the same way.

I feel lighter knowing that my emotional health isn't whats holding me back. There is nothing wrong with me per se, nothing i can't change. Perhaps its a feeling that I can change it, I can be in control, whereas binging left me feeling so out of control, so hideously weak.

All we can do is take it one day at a time, use whatever tricks we can to get us through the day and pick ourselves up when we stumble. And support each other as we do it. Our 'triggers', emotional responses and needs and urges to binge are all different, but we're all here for the same reason.

BethC
01-23-2014, 10:34 PM
Happy New Years!! 🎉🎉🎉 after a long holiday season, needing root canal and a few horribly cold days in NY when I didn't want it go outside, I'm on Day 1 and thrilled to be back here with you all!!

Fiona W
01-24-2014, 12:06 AM
I just want to say, to mainecyn and orangesmartie, that yours are two beautifully written portraits of individual binge eaters. I personally don't think "binge eating is a disease" and "binge eating is a bad habit with neurological underpinnings" are irreconcilable points of view. I think they are points on a whole spectrum of different individuals. And they are also different angles, different takes on what is helpful.

We need to listen to each other to overcome this monster. I'm glad we have this place where we can do that, and I'm humbled by both of yours ability to put these horrible experiences in words.

mainecyn
01-24-2014, 05:15 PM
I agree with Fiona. I think that binge eating, or any eating disorder, is a very individualized issue for each person. There are different opinions, there are different things that work for everyone. I can agree with what orangesmartie says as well because if it works for her, than it works. Its as simple as that. But, in my case nothing has ever completely worked.

I did really think about about the differences between habit and addiction and then got technical and looked it up

Addiction - there is a psychological/physical component; the person is unable to control the aspects of the addiction without help because of the mental or physical conditions involved.
Habit - it is done by choice. The person with the habit can choose to stop, and will subsequently stop successfully if they want to. The psychological/physical component is not an issue as it is with an addiction.

I've tried looking back as far as I can remember to the very first time I experienced binge eating, I can't. I can see how a habit, can develop INTO an addiction or a compulsion. I understand the connect, when I was a teen I began smoking. I wasn't addicted on the first cigarette and it was a habit, as time past, and grew into years, I had a physical need or addiction for nicotine. It may be that binge eating starts out small, just as everything else and grows. There are so many things that can influence the way people behave. But I have tried over and over for years to conquer my binge eating deciding that this is it, I can control it etc. Doesn't work for me. I believe that binge eating is an eating disorder and it ties into so many other things for each person.

I care about how everyone is doing here, and I know that the others do as well. We all have offered support, encouragement, and listen to each other and do it respectfully. I like that we can disagree and be ok. I post based on my own personal experiences and what binge eating has been like for me. I am sure that there are others here that can relate to everything we say. I think orangesmartie said it best when she said

t probably didn't start out that way, but now it has become an automatic reaction to some things. The only reason I now call it a 'habit' is because I am more mindful of my behaviour and why I am doing it. At the same time, when the urge to binge comes on, i feel completely out of control, it pushes me to get in the car and drive to the shops for a mountain of sweet food. So there perhaps two types of binge behaviours - that urge that seems to come from nowhere and nothing but what i crave will suffice and those binges which aren't driven by urge, but driven by a habit, the memory in the brain of 'when i sit and watch xxxxx show, i eat xxxx'.

I have lived this as well but when I feel the ugre to binge it seems that the feeling is there first and then the actions follow. I have been in a middle of a binge and then ran down the street buying everything I can get my hands on that is covered in chocolate or peanut butter. I have been in that situation but at the same time while that is going on there is a huge physical and mental reaction happening to me when I binge. It is a total uncontrollable compulsion to act the binge out, I think we are both probably speaking of the same thing just using different words. I use addiction, disorder, compulsion, because my binge eating has just taken over my life. For me habit just isn't a strong enough word for what happens (to me personally). I do have moments when I am trying to control the binge eating and a strong emotion (anger) can seem to suddenly make me snap and then its like I have boiled over and what every it is that makes me binge finally has reached the level it needs to come on..does that make sense?


But now, I have an understanding of how i make it stop. What the urges are. And thinking about it in that sciency-logical way so far makes it easier than thinking i'm emotionally deficit in some way. But I have battled with it on a couple of occasions this week (yes i've only been trying a few days, but thats a win for me!). The urges are still there, growling in my head, but i feel better equipped to deal with them. I don't know how long it will last. But should I fail, i will pick myself up and start again. I am not suddenly cured

I agree with what your saying and its a set of skills that I've tried to aquire myself. I have tried to understand the binge, why I do it, and I've had some success for short amounts of time controlling it when the urge is there-but only when it is a small urge, not boiling over or screaming at me. I suppose it means that somewhere I have made some success because I am able to control it even the littlest bit is positive right>?

Youve said everything I wanted to say only YOU made sense. I tend to ramble and go on. I try to sort thru the jumbled mess while I am typing. Its a way to think. I guess I also should have explained the post that I had read, what I was trying to explain. I also want to say again that I do agree with what you said. I feel my binge eating is two sided, or a zillion sided at times, I think I am prone to this binge eating due to whatever mental makeup I have and environmental, emotions, etc. I think for me what Ive been trying to say is my binge encompasses everything and I can see that there are the two types of binging. The post I had read was one sided and said that binging is the result of one thing, not taking into account the individual differences we all face, triggers, etc. Its to complicated.

I also after reading your post am looking at it and explaining it to myself. I want to develop the habit of exercising, getting out and walking each and every day. I want that habit to develop into something that is automatic. I think that if you dissect it enough and really break it down the binge began once, that action of binge eating helped and made me feel better to a point, I then repeated that behavior over and over until it became an automatic response. The only problem with the binge eating for me (and I am sure for others) is eventually the other issues with it came, the emotional hate towards myself, the feeling of fat, hiding food, etc. those down feelings didn't start out with the binge eating or one never would have repeated the behavior. I see a great deal of similarities in addicts and the way that works.

BethC
01-26-2014, 09:55 PM
Day 3 and feeling stronger like this time I'm going to keep on going!!

MeganTheMushroom
01-26-2014, 11:00 PM
My teeth are brushed, I'm getting ready for bed, and Day 3 is done.
These past couple of days have been really good.
I went for a workout yesterday morning, and though I only intended to spend 45 minutes there, I stayed on the eliptical for an hour, plus 2 shifts (5 hours) of dishwashing. I ate well, too.
Today I worked in the morning again (food prep in the kitchen this time) for 5 hours, ate when I was hungry there, and then came home, did homework, and went snowshoeing for an hour and a half. I had veggie lo mein for dinner, and had a clementine afterwards instead of more lo mein :)

Mondays are my busy days with classes, so I'll be occupied tomorrow

Locke
01-27-2014, 03:00 PM
Mainecyn,

I apologize if it was my words you were reacting to as it sounds like something I might have said. What you described as the other person's writing sounds right out of the book "Brain Over Binge". I'm a recovering bulimic and alcoholic. I went through therapists, AA, treatments of all sort, and self help books but nothing helped me like the book Brain Over Binge. Identifying bulimia and alcoholism as habits rather than as diseases and differentiating between the upper and lower brains was tremendously helpful in my struggle. I have seriously not had a drink or a binge since reading the book and adopting the methods that she describes, and yes I would have considered myself a hopeless case in the past. Everyone's recovery is individual, and some methods work better for others. You should see people's posts and advice here as simply stories from their own experiences which don't necessarily apply to everyone. We're all here to try and help each other and learn. :)

mainecyn
01-27-2014, 03:18 PM
Today I worked in the morning again (food prep in the kitchen this time) for 5 hours, ate when I was hungry there, and then came home, did homework, and went snowshoeing for an hour and a half. I had veggie lo mein for dinner, and had a clementine afterwards instead of more lo mein

Snowshoeing-wow, great exercise. I remember snowshoeing years ago growing up in Maine. It was a great way to get a workout, raise the heart rate, and it also really helped with my balance.

It sounds like you are in control and staying the course, growing stronger each day. I have a weakness for take out Chinese food..you showed great control not going back for seconds.

I have made it a week. I am trying to handle things and believe in myself. I know we all have our own way of handling things, and doing things, that is why this thread is so helpful (board as well). It is full of advice, what worked for someone, and support.

I am still going in early to work, started last week. I get there just before 6. I seem to do ok eating wise while at work in the morning. I was tempted to hurry out the door this morning but stopped to make myself a wrap using two slices of turkey and some cream cheese. Its been stressful at work and stress seems to make me want to snack. The protien stuck with me. Thank goodness because when I got into work there were two sheet cakes in the breakroom the size of 2 x-large pizzas each! An employee from another department left the cakes as a thank you for our help. Within ten minutes of opening the offices for the morning one cake was almost entirely gone, and the other 1/4 of it had disappeared. I don't know what it was, the idea of free food, or the fact that it was cake, but employees were running around holding plates and acting like they were possessed trying to get a small slab for themselves.

On another note, concerning work. I work with an older lady, upper 70's. Physically, this lady is healthy very healthy. My husband worked with her 20 years ago with special needs adults. She now works with me, has for 8 years. She attached herself to me the minute she discovered I was married to her former co-worker. I have worked with her one on one for two school years now. The issue is that she has developed alzheimers, and it is progressing fast. She used to be a driver for the district but has been removed since she just couldn't process information.

The poor sweet lady repeats herself over and over, she has to have me do more and more things for her..she confided in me this morning that she was in an "almost" car accident over the weekend. She apparently went to Walmart over the weekend and forgot to put her car in park when she got out. When she returned to her car she found it had rolled into a car near her. Her memory is obviously getting worse, her meds are not working. She was very lucky no one was hurt and no damage done that was noticeable but it worries me. I observe her at work with help and reminders and she still is almost not able to function well enough to do her job. I am scared of what she is like alone outside of work.

There is no family here in our state, an older son far far away that has nothing to do with her. Just what do you do for someone like this to help? I worry about her but she doesn't listen to what I tell her and not to sound mean but I can tell her something over and over all day and she forgets it in ten mins time. Her organization is gone, she is paranoid that others are "out to get her" and has created stories in her head about other co-workers and repeats them to me as truth. Her confusion is at an all time high and I have noticed that she really confuses the kids we deal with because they know something isn't right with her behavior but can't tell what her problem is. I honestly am concerned when she speaks to parents or teachers from the district because sometimes she blurts out things that make no sense or that are very personal about herself. This is not what she used to be like.

Valkyrie1
01-27-2014, 08:57 PM
Here in California you can call in social services if an elderly person is in trouble. You could ask the local hospital for the right number, or call the non emergency number at the sheriff or police station to get a referral. In Cali we can dial 211 for social services.

mainecyn
01-28-2014, 02:10 PM
Here in California you can call in social services if an elderly person is in trouble. You could ask the local hospital for the right number, or call the non emergency number at the sheriff or police station to get a referral. In Cali we can dial 211 for social services.

Thats a great idea, thank you. I will see what we have here. I really truly worry about her own safety at times.

Another day almost finished, hanging in there. Busy with meetings the rest of the day.

Eating, had greek yogurt with fresh berries this morning, lunch some chicken breast soup. I am in an ok place. Nothing up or down emotionally and no signs of a binge. I have been going over and over in my head just what this is, how after so many years I've failed to control it (binge eating). I remember years ago saying I would get this under control because I didn't want to turn 30 and still be this way, well I'm 40 now and still not a good relationship with food. I don't want to be an 80 year old lady trying to binge in the nursing home.

I do remember something very odd from last year concerning my binge eating. I can't seem to control it at all here. Last year I returned home to my parents to take care of a very ill mother. I was home for a long time and while I had been binging constantly before the trip I felt the urge disappear, in fact I rarely ate, and when I did it was just to the point of being full. I remember thinking wait a min. why do I not binge here at my childhood home especially full of stress dealing with having to take care of my mother who had a major stoke. I still am wondering about it. I often think is the binge a response to my environment here, and I felt safe at home or no need to binge?

mainecyn
01-28-2014, 04:46 PM
Valkyrie1, thank you for the information about what to do for co-worker.

I spent a lot of time thinking about it this afternoon and came to a couple conclusions, one I am unsure about going to our boss as I hate to cause her embarrassment, and start with the place she earns her income. It may sound like I'm babysitting my co-worker, but until I have a better solution I will just try to really keep her close and handle the one on one with the parents. Secondly, I was referred to a senior center here in our city. The only issue with getting help for her thru the senior center is the fact that unless she belongs (which she doesn't) they are not involved and will not get involved. So, the third idea I came up with is her church.

My co-worker is LDS (Mormon). In our city there is a huge population that are LDS, majority of the town. She does attend church a couple times a week, drives there (which scares me). So, I got a hold of a bishop in her ward. There is a large community involvement with the missionaries, and the "brothers and sisters" (which basically what you call others in the church I guess). I learned that there are women's groups and men's group that do at home studies and also are known just to check up on members who have not attended church recently.

I am still doing well today. I had an appointment with my lawyer this afternoon. I was in a traffic accident that resulted in multiple neck and back surgeries for me. Its been stressful the past few years dealing with all of this emotionally and physically, but I came thru the meeting fine. I remained objective and didn't get emotional. I have come to terms that this is how the game is played with lawyers and insurance companies. In the past I would feel like a criminal myself by the time I came home. I'd feel sad, angry, and a million other emotions. I'd also stop and get a shake on the way home as well-chocolate peanut butter. I didn't do it:carrot:

Its been 9 days since my last binge. I'm working for more.

orangesmartie
01-29-2014, 02:36 PM
Sorry I haven't been around for a couple of days. I've been away for work and getting organised to move 200 miles away and all sorts of things. Very stressful, but still binge free! Feeling really good about it.

However, I have noticed that I still overeat at times (not a binge by any stretch, either by thoughts or calories consumed) and this seems to be more a habit. e.g i'll get a sandwich for lunch. most shops do a 'meal deal' which includes a sandwich, crisps (chips in American ;) ) and a drink, and out of habit i'll add a chocolate bar. And I'll eat it all. And feel over full, for hours. Something I haven't felt in a long long time. So now I am going to try and focus more on thinking consciously about what i am eating and how much. It does feel like a real step forward for me though. In binge mode, there wasn't enough food in the world to fill me up.

Cyn, i really enjoy reading your 'rambling' thoughts, it gives me an opportunity to think things through and sort through my own thoughts and feelings.

mainecyn
01-29-2014, 02:47 PM
It sounds like your still doing well,11 days way to go, congratulations. Moving is a major stews event and don't envy you. You mention eating and it does sound more "normal" because your right, in binge mode an entire restaurant buffet wouldn't be enough for me.

I am still doing well, no binges, but I'm feeling the effects of so many binges my pants are very tight and uncomfortable.I also have begun adjusting my clothes to try to keep the new flabby hanging over my pants from showing. Over 20 lbs, its so said all I have gained these past couple months. I stepped on the scale this morning and couldn't quite tell if I had gained another pound. If so its got to be the nuts I'm eating and the sodium from them as well. I remember telling myself last night no more nuts and no more smacks after dinner. Then my husband came to bed with a Carton of ice cream and I caved and began eating smoked almonds. I didn't over eat them and did really well but I broke my own rule an hour or so after making it :(

orangesmartie
01-29-2014, 05:53 PM
I found that every time i made a 'rule' not to eat a certain thing, or even eat anything, i would immediately break the rule and then eat far more of it than i would have initially. So now i don't make that rule. I dunno if its just my contrary brain that says if i can;t have something i want it more. But try to stop giving your self rules and restrictions and see if that helps any.

mainecyn
01-29-2014, 07:05 PM
I found that every time i made a 'rule' not to eat a certain thing, or even eat anything, i would immediately break the rule and then eat far more of it than i would have initially. So now i don't make that rule. I dunno if its just my contrary brain that says if i can;t have something i want it more. But try to stop giving your self rules and restrictions and see if that helps any.


That's the odd thing, I had that discussion with myself a week ago and then I noticed that I just kept leaning towards snacking on nuts again, or swinging into the coffee shop "just this once". I seem to be trying to find where the boundary is. I have said to myself several times this week to just try to focus on eating whole, healthy foods, that if I have to restrict things I am still not going to develop a healthy relationship with food. But, there has to be a middle group, right. I don't' want to say that one thing is totally forbidden, just still trying to figure out how I can eat certain things and not have issues or cause binges.

orangesmartie
01-30-2014, 06:01 PM
Hi All, really struggling tonight. Its been a very emotional day, for one reason and another and I'm feeling tired and overwhelmed. And i find myself looking to food to quiet it down.

Oddly though, the binge-monster is not present. It is not roaring and stamping through my head. In fact, my head is strangely quiet.

So i don't know whats going on. Physiologically I'm not hungry. something in my brain is clicking for food, but its a quiet rumble, not an all-consuming screech.

I very nearly gave in. I thought i could have a bowl of cereal. No harm right? but how would i know that would be the end? So instead I've logged on here and am posting just rambles that are in my head. Just another distraction technique.

Locke
01-30-2014, 07:38 PM
I've been fighting off binge urges today. Instead of eating intuitively I started trying to do a very low carb diet this past week. It made me super sick and now I'm having the urge to binge on sugar. *sigh* I've eaten way too many sweets throughout the workday today but I haven't had a proper binge. As long as I can make it past the drugstore on the walk to the bus station without stopping to load up on sweets I think it will be okay. :(

mainecyn
01-31-2014, 08:41 AM
very nearly gave in. I thought i could have a bowl of cereal. No harm right? but how would i know that would be the end? So instead I've logged on here and am posting just rambles that are in my head. Just another distraction technique.

Sounds like you are really doing well thinking about what you are eating before you eat it-late night cereal is a major binge item for me. Your right to take a pause, you know yourself best. I cant count the times I got "just one bowl of cereal" because I was craving it and promised I'd stop at just one..well, one box later:?:and I'd be dragging my crumb covered self back to bed. I have even gone so far as "starting out" with a healthier choice of cereal:o and tell myself see how good I am:^: well, then I'm going back for another, and then that carb monster is awake and I find myself digging for the kids cereal I've got for the kids. Thats just "normal" carb craving form me, not binge eating. When I binge I find it almost impossible to do so on cereal, I mean I have but it is hard to eat fast.

Instead of eating intuitively I started trying to do a very low carb diet this past week. It made me super sick and now I'm having the urge to binge on sugar. *sigh* I've eaten way too many sweets throughout the workday today but I haven't had a proper binge. As long as I can make it past the drugstore on the walk to the bus station without stopping to load up on sweets I think it will be okay

I had great success with lc for years. I had found the first time I followed a low carb life style, my cravings for carbs totally died. My binge eating was totally gone for almost 3 years, I quit smoking, and lost weight, all at once. It was amazing. I had the headache, grumpy and dizzy sick feeling, for several days, but once I past it I felt physically great. My issue since has been i never addressed the mental or emotional reasons i ate carbs, not the physical ones. I use them to binge so obviously there is an issue there.

Just how low carb are you doing? how many days has it been? I know the first two weeks I found it best to make sure I was eating at least 20grams of natural carbs-tons of salad veggies, and got plenty of protein, if not you are depriving yourself of so many different types of foods that its all you think of. Hang in there. I am trying to eat lower carb lately. I am not following the super strict style I had with atkins induction, but lately more focused on the 2 or 3rd phase to learn to eat whole foods and not feel so deprived-I am eating greek yogurt for breakfast right now-cherry..I snack on nuts (although I probably eat to many :smug:), rolled up sundried tomato turkey breast with cream cheese, things like that. It helps me feel more incontrol and are easy to grab when i feel the urge to eat.

I text an online friend of mine yesterday. He and I have been friends for more than 10 years..he also has ability to find any single book I am looking for online. He sent me brain over binge. I am going to start reading it. I agree right away with the first thing read "an eating disorder provides solutions to one's problems in life and is not simply about food and weight" If anyone is interested I have it on my kindle and could also send it to them.

Heading to work, feeling pretty good this morning. Was happier at who was staring back at me in the mirror this morning. After all its been awhile since last binge. I am dreading the weekend. These are the times I binge (all three step kids will be here as well) the level the house reaches when they are here is crazy.I will try to hang on. We can do this, right?

orangesmartie
01-31-2014, 11:55 AM
Cyn, if you find its all getting a bit much with all the kids in your house, is there a quiet area you can retreat to to just relax for a bit, take a cuppa and a book? Maybe a hot bath? I know when we have the kids (my nephew, 18months and my partner's goddaughter, aged 8) that i find it too much and i retreat to my bedroom to calm down and destress for half an hour. If you can, let your husband know tonight, so you can just say to him when you need to, i'm going for a time out.

Locke
01-31-2014, 01:07 PM
Just how low carb are you doing? how many days has it been? I know the first two weeks I found it best to make sure I was eating at least 20grams of natural carbs-tons of salad veggies, and got plenty of protein, if not you are depriving yourself of so many different types of foods that its all you think of. Hang in there. I am trying to eat lower carb lately. I am not following the super strict style I had with atkins induction, but lately more focused on the 2 or 3rd phase to learn to eat whole foods and not feel so deprived-I am eating greek yogurt for breakfast right now-cherry..I snack on nuts (although I probably eat to many :smug:), rolled up sundried tomato turkey breast with cream cheese, things like that. It helps me feel more incontrol and are easy to grab when i feel the urge to eat.

I text an online friend of mine yesterday. He and I have been friends for more than 10 years..he also has ability to find any single book I am looking for online. He sent me brain over binge. I am going to start reading it. I agree right away with the first thing read "an eating disorder provides solutions to one's problems in life and is not simply about food and weight" If anyone is interested I have it on my kindle and could also send it to them.

Heading to work, feeling pretty good this morning. Was happier at who was staring back at me in the mirror this morning. After all its been awhile since last binge. I am dreading the weekend. These are the times I binge (all three step kids will be here as well) the level the house reaches when they are here is crazy.I will try to hang on. We can do this, right?

I was eating less than 20 carbs/day for about a week. Brain over binge is a great book. I don't agree with everything the author says but it's changed how I view my eating disorder. I feel like less of a victim now, even though I still struggle. I haven't binged since I've read it. I've overeaten, had too many sweets but none of that mindless food-stuffing monster type behavior from a true binge. I'm going to keep trying at the ketogenic diet. I think I didn't drink enough water and my electrolytes were out of balance. I'm interested in it because I want to preserve my lean muscle mass during weight loss. We'll see how it goes!