Depression and Weight Issues - Ups & Downs Support Group: January 2014

01-01-2014, 01:50 AM
Hello Everyone and :welcome3: to our support group, Ups & Downs! Happy you found us here! You can get to know our members in the previous thread, Ups & Downs Support Group: December 2013; or just jump right in here if you want to give and receive support in your weight loss journey. Everyone is welcome! ;)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Here's to a happy and healthy 2014! :celebrate:

Fiona W
01-01-2014, 11:19 AM
Greetings Kathleen and everyone else! Happy New Year!! Bob and I stayed up, as we always do, listening to a rock concert (live on satellite radio) and watching the ball drop in New York. It's a gorgeous day here in the DC area, so I'm trying to work up the gumption to go for a walk on the lake trail in a nearby park. I don't know if I'll be able to do it: as usual, I'm deep into a book. At least thinking about taking a walk is the first step toward making the new habit.

I recently ran across a tip, I think in was in Brooke Castillo's book, for how to get yourself to exercise. She says to pay attention to what you want rather than what you feel. That is, when you're thinking "I want to exercise because it will help me be in a better mood" at the same time you're thinking "I don't feel like exercising," you should value the first thought over the second one. There's no reason why the "I don't feel like it" has to win the argument. Hmmm.... I'll try that today.

mountain walker
01-01-2014, 01:35 PM
Does ups and downs mean Bipolar (which I am ) or up and down in the weight department....which I am too????

01-01-2014, 01:58 PM
Thought I'd jump onto your thread. I'm aiming for a new year/new me (actually a better managed me).

I struggle with anxiety and SAD. Food has been my drug of choice. I've had a bad year in 2013 and want to make 2014 a better year.

I was laid off my job last year and was forced into an early retirement. My parents are both 92 and still in their home. My sister and I are struggling with helping them. Dad is stubborn, mom is becoming forgetful with short-term memory and my sister is frequently short-tempered and snippy.

I want to make 2014 a better year and manage my life better. It can really be a slippery slope in the Fall and Winter with anxiety and SAD.

Catch everyone later.

Fiona W
01-01-2014, 02:51 PM
Nice to meet you, Munchey! I go by Fi (pronounced "fee"). I'm Bipolar. Sorry to hear about you bein' laid off: I had to retire early because of my bipolar disorder, and last year my husband got laid off & forced into early retirement. It seems like it's happening all over. I have an elderly mother who became so forgetful and confused this past year, my sister and I had to move her out of her house into a place where they take care of people with dementia. It was very stressful!

And nice to see you here, Donna (mountain walker). Ups & Downs means ups & downs of whatever kind, but especially mood: I think most of us here struggle with depression, of one variety or another.

Well I did it! I walked around the lake. It was a mile and a half altogether. With my short legs and bein' out of shape, it took me an hour to do it, but that was a full hour of brisk cardio. My injured knee was a little wonky at first, but it got better as I kept going. So nice to be out there on a trail through woods, with the bright sunlight making beautiful patterns on the surface of the water. I feel so lucky to live right near a park with a lake, but it's been a couple years since I've walked all the way around. I sure hope it will be a bit easier the next time! And it sure is good motivation to lose weight, because I have to work so hard to carry my bulk. I was working harder than anyone else out there today, even the people who were running. =laugh=

01-01-2014, 03:01 PM
:brr: Happy New Year, to all of us. I'm happy to say I'm starting the first day of 2014 on an UP. Ten days of vacation from work has done wonders for me. I'm hoping to make this relaxed mood last well into the New Year.

My next weigh in with the doctor is Jan. 30. My goal is to lose more 10 pounds prior to that weight in. I've been inspired by a friend who is successfully completing the Brazen Fit 24 Day Ab Challenge to give it a go. Today was day one and I learned I cannot do a proper plank but I'm going to keep at it and give it my best.

Wishing everyone a brilliant, happy, and successful New Year!

01-01-2014, 03:02 PM
Fi: Take that walk!!! As Nike would say, "Just do it!" You will be glad you did!!! ;) I am reading Brooke Castillo's book now.

mountain walker: Ups & Downs encompasses all of the ups and downs we all go through ~ with life in general, life on meds, bipolar (which some of us, including me, have been diagnosed with), weight fluctuations, etc.!!! So you belong here! ;) Please tell us a little bit about yourself.....however much or little you want to write. We are all here to give and receive help in our weight loss journeys. So :welcome3: to our group! Glad you found us! :)

munchey: :welcome3: to you as well! It sounds like you have your hands full with challenges, but we are here to support you through it. You told us some of your challenges. I'd also like to hear about some of your blessings, too. Here's to more blessings for you and all of us in 2014!!! :)

I woke up with a bad migraine. :( Took my meds and I am going to eat a late lunch right now, so I have to run! Will check back in later! Hope everyone is having a great New Year's Day! :)

01-01-2014, 06:33 PM
Fi: I must have been writing my last message while you were posting yours, so I just now saw that YOU DID IT!!! Way to go on walking today!!! :carrot: What a great way to start off the new year!!! :D I am so proud of you! ;)

worththeeffort2: :welcome3: to our group! So glad you found us here! :) Good luck with that Brazen Fit 24-Day Ab Challenge!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :carrot:

I still have a terrible migraine, so I've just been taking medicine for it and laying around today. It is a hormonal migraine, and they are the most difficult to get rid of. I have a massage in the morning, thank God. That will help! But I am going to do my best to get some treadmill time in tonight, despite my throbbing head.

Did everyone make it on to the new January 2014 thread? Please post and at least say "I made it," so we know you are still with us!!! ;)

Fiona W
01-02-2014, 02:46 PM
Man am I sore today! I was complaining to my husband Bob that it didn't seem right to me that I should be so very sore, from only walking 1.5 miles. He said that since I'm about 150 lbs. overweight, what I did yesterday was comparable to carrying two 75 lb. bags of cement for a mile and a half. That helped me get some perspective!

I hope, Kathleen, that your headache is over now. I had migraines in my late 20s, early 30s, and then they mysteriously vanished. I used to hate the nausea & photophobia as much as the throbbing pain.

Best wishes to everyone else! If you're a lurker, won't you post and be friendly? This is a good place to get support.

01-02-2014, 04:08 PM
Had a nice new year - watched the ball drop with husband and kiddos.
I struggle with my weight (have since I was a child) I have done alright lately but still need to lose about 20 pounds. I have major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, both of which get worse in the winter - of course, right? I'm currently taking Effexor and Wellbutrin.
Goal for 2014 - be more active, more often. If I look back at my running log from last year I see a month where I ran 5 - 6 times a week followed by 2 months when I didn't run once. Cycles like this - probably follows my mood??... Treadmill tonight (it is -12 - brrr)

Anyway, I look forward to getting to know you and sharing the love!

01-02-2014, 08:33 PM
Hello and Happy New Year! :)

I started the January Exercise thread here love to have others post their exercise there too :)

Fi, my motivation to work out isn't even consciously for calorie burn or weight loss; it's for daily functional fitness, for lugging groceries, helping a friend move boxes, crawling into my car through the seats when a car door is frozen :devil: and keeping strong abs for keeping my back not hurting when I'm at work.

HI and :welcome: to the newbies! :wave: and I love that abs challenge! wow.

Been out of control with eating Christmas goodies; I threw out the cinnamon muffins I was eating daily; tossed remaining chocolate into the back of the freezer; and am currently NOT eating a piece of toast with peanut butter even though I want it!

01-03-2014, 11:38 AM
Been out of control with eating Christmas goodies; I threw out the cinnamon muffins I was eating daily; tossed remaining chocolate into the back of the freezer; and am currently NOT eating a piece of toast with peanut butter even though I want it!

I had to toss stuff still on the counter too. I just couldn't bear seeing it there anymore and was wasting :dust: on hard, old fudge and cookies. Gone. Done.

01-03-2014, 03:29 PM
Run4three and tiredoftears: :welcome2: Glad you found us and posted! :)

Fi: Hopefully, your soreness is a "good sore," where you know you've worked your body without overdoing it. You are doing great!!! Keep it up! :D I have battled this migraine for 3 days now. They come in clusters. Thankfully, it is at bay for now. :^: Despite the migraine and tummy rumbles, I was able to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes and then work out with my trainer for an hour. YAY ME!!! It feels good to be an active exerciser now! :carrot::broc: I am approaching the exercise as being good for my health and I trust that the weight loss will follow. Regardless, it is definitely good for my mood and self-esteem, too! :D My 14-yr-old daughter, with Spina Bifida, has been working very hard on her exercise and eating, too, especially so far this new year. She inspires me to keep on going!!! :hug: Love that girl!!! :love:

Holly: Great to hear from you!!! I will check out your January exercise thread. I am keeping a log of my eating and exercise in a journal, but maybe I will post there as well. ;)

Did everyone else make it to our January thread? Trish? saraphin? Any other newbies? Please post an update when you get a chance! We are a team :grouphug: and here to support one another through both our ups and our downs!!! ;)

01-03-2014, 03:58 PM
Hello everyone - After a hiatus, I am back online and happy to find this immediately! Fi- congratulations on your walk, that is great and sounds like a beautiful park. I have been struggling very much lately, with eating, anxiety and depression, and also I have been having new nerve pains in my foot on occasion. I spent most of the last 2 weeks hiding under a blanket. I am trying to be hopeful for the new year, but seem to find little faith in myself lately. I have been considering a career change, but have yet to talk to my SO about it, since it would mean a drastic reduction in pay and loss of benefits. It would allow me the opportunity to be more active and I would have time to pursue my personal dream. We shall see.
My personal goals for the year are: Eat more raw vegetables and less simple carbs! Also, find the appropriate calorie intake for my size, and stick to it.

Thats it for now, wonderful to come back out from under the blanket.

01-03-2014, 04:04 PM
Hi everyone! I've been on 3FC a few times in the past and have been making some good weight progress since October despite terrible issues with my GAD!

I was on lexapro for almost 5 years and in the long run gained around 80 ish pounds. Since going off I have lost 17 ish pounds with not too much effort and am now on a new drug Viibryd that doesn't seem to be causing the same weight issues.

Only issue now is that my GAD is not yet under control. I've been on this new med for about a month now but we've had to mess with the dose a few times so I'm still deciding if this dose I'm on now is going to be effective. I HATE the medication struggles....I just want something to work plain and simple with no crazy side-effect!

I'm working with my therapist on positive ways to DISTRACT from the obsessive anxieties (psych says my anxieties lead towards OCD tendencies). And hoping that focusing on positive improvement in my weight and exercise habits will be a wonderful distraction and good thing to be focused on.

Will check back in with you all later. Hope you have a wonderful morning/night was tough waking up middle of the night and obsessing too much to fall back to sleep, but I'm trying to see positives right now and say today will be a good day.

01-03-2014, 09:55 PM
I had to toss stuff still on the counter too. I just couldn't bear seeing it there anymore and was wasting :dust: on hard, old fudge and cookies. Gone. Done.

Right on!! why waste our precious calories on food that is not worth it!

and HEY to a fellow Vermonter! (well...lived here for 30 years :D)

Fi - I am recalling one of my crazy customer stories!

Her - I want a sandwich..but I don't like your bread.
Me - ...alright...
Her - can i just buy some of the ingredients and take it home?
Me - yes, of course.
Her - Is that real turkey?
Me - YES it is real turkey breast.
Her -OK I'll have a few slices of that. What else would be good in a sandwich?
Me - Would you like some cheese?
Her - No! I have that at home.
Me - OK. Um, lettuce?
Her - I have that at home too.
Me - (getting irritated) How about tomatoes?
Her - ew, winter tomatoes? I don't like those. What else?
Me - (really irritated and sarcastic now) Do you like our green peppers?
Her - What kind are they?
Me - the green and crunchy kind.
Her - That sounds good!

Fiona W
01-03-2014, 10:28 PM
I don't have anything special to report today, except for the fact that Kathryn Hansen, the author of Brain Over Binge, posted my story about using her technique to her blog: you can read it under "Tips for Beginners...Continued (Inspirational Testimony)" ( I think the technique I describe would be useful not just for binge eaters, but for anyone who struggles with cravings and urges to overeat. Enjoy!

01-04-2014, 02:10 AM
Chelsea: It is so great to hear from you! Sorry you have been struggling lately. Best of luck to you as you make decisions about your career. Trust your gut! :hug:

LawGirl88: :welcome: to our group! Glad you found us here! Interesting that you switched from Lexapro to Viibryd. My niece has terrible anxiety and was put on Viibryd, but it hasn't helped her yet at all. She wants to switch to Lexapro. She is probably too thin right now, so not sure how it would affect her weight. Anyhow, I can relate to gaining a lot on meds. I gained 60 pounds in a year's time on a Zyprexa trial several years ago. Still working to get that and more off. :( It is such a "catch 22" to need the meds that sometimes cause weight gain as a side effect. Then the weight tends to make us more depressed and anxious, so we need more meds. Vicious cycle! :( It really is a lousy reality of life with depression/anxiety and meds. Best of luck to you as you work with your therapist on distractions from the obsessive anxieties! You can overcome your anxiety AND lose the weight!!! Keep on posting. We are here to support you! :)

Holly: Funny story about you and your customer! :lol: She sounds like a real piece of work! :dizzy:

Fi: So cool that your story was featured in the Brain Over Binge blog! :cool: You will help more people than you know! You are a good communicator. :)

01-04-2014, 10:10 AM
I don't have anything special to report today, except for the fact that Kathryn Hansen, the author of Brain Over Binge, posted my story about using her technique to her blog: you can read it under "Tips for Beginners...Continued (Inspirational Testimony)" ( I think the technique I describe would be useful not just for binge eaters, but for anyone who struggles with cravings and urges to overeat. Enjoy!

wow! that is fantastic! :carrot::carrot:

good morning to everyone :) I am really glad that I am feeling good (duh :D ) I have tried VERY hard in the past few days to curb my 'I want something sweet NOW' impulses and have kept to it. I definitely have a problem with controlling my food, as opposed to working out..I always have my go-to excuse :rolleyes: of working in a deli, with the scents of food constantly attacking me..I'm not given a food break so I eat in the stairwell in about 1 1/2 minutes...AND if I eat in front of my bosses (husband/wife) they comment on my food, and they are known 'fat haters'. Ugh. So I make a breakfast/lunch wrap and take it in the car, and park 100 feet away from my work at 10:50 am, and eat in the car, then drive to work :rolleyes: And I have to resist the 4:00 or 5:00 pm mad urge to eat a cookie.

01-04-2014, 07:03 PM
oh vermont mom that is too sad for your horrible work conditions. do you know when i was teaching i was the union rep and i knew about workcover issues (our 'rescue' haven in australia) anywaym, you current condition would have caused a HUGE uprising jere…can't you look around for a better job? it's only a shitty deli for crying out loud! hey, there must be lots of different stores near by where you are respected as a PERSON and ACTUALLY HAVE A STAFFROOM TO EAT IN! and nobody frowns at your food either. gosh you are trying so hard too. well done for all you great efforts. i would want something sweet if i were there…i would be like the side of a house and lucky to FIT in the stairwell!!!!!

sorry everyone….i just get so cross when people have to tolerate poor work conditions because of the stupid power imbalance. money always drives it. blah!

good morning everyone! hi how are you all? it's sunday morning here…a pearler of a day too, by the looks. the sun is shining and the skies are blue. how awesome!

just had to call in the dogs because they are making too much noise. DH has gone to the dump. he'll be back shortly. walkers. with dags is all. our dogs (3 of them) make a terrific racket when walkers go past our fence. well, i mean to say..what a nerve! we get a lot of walkers because we are on a corner, and by the edge of the block sob it makes sense. until they get scared out of their wits by a black german shepherd…..bahahaaaaa LOL


saraphin xxx

01-04-2014, 07:17 PM
fi, i read some of that brain over binge stuff, because i just realized IT'S WHAT I DO! BINGE. OH GOSH AT 55 I'M ACTUALLY LEARNING SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT MYSELF!

the other night i binged on ice cream, biscuits and ovaltine. i made me=y DH throw away the ice cream next morning.

next time, i'm going for that yappy dog! i actually, have a yappy dog so i don't need to imagine too much!

i'm going to try and go, say, 30 days with out bingeing. whoa. 30 days that's heaps. ok, i'm starting now.

i just need a thingy for my signature. i'll try now. bye f n, saraphin xxx

01-04-2014, 08:13 PM
I believethanks!!!! How interesting about your family member. When I went on lexapro I was also tooooo skinny. The majority of my weight gain those was after 2 years of us. Ugh!
vermontchick How sucky that your bosses have an attitude? Have you tried to pack a sweet granola bar or something that reasonably healthy but won't get any comments and can curb the midday sweet tooth? That way when you get home after work it won't be like you've suffered all day without food and thinking about the yummy cookies you could be having!!!

Today's been okay. Short day at work and told myself I'd do some me work with my affirmations and therapy reading after work so that should be happening at some point but hey it's only 4 in Cali I've got plenty of time right? Let's just hope I don't put it off all day. I know working on that stuff will help!!!!

01-05-2014, 12:31 AM
Slept in again this morning and then went shopping with my daughter. Then out to dinner with her and to my nieces' house to visit. Got home late. Haven't done any cardio today, as planned. :( I need to get on that treadmill tomorrow for sure!!! Food was pretty good today. In general, I have been eating much healthier lately and not stuffing myself quite so much. So that's PROGRESS!!! :D

Holly: You should be able to eat whatever your little heart desires at work..... or anywhere for that matter!!! That is horrible that you have to eat in the stairwell or in your car in 1 and 1/2 minutes. :( You do deserve better than that! Stand up for yourself! And, yes, as LawGirl88 said, take a granola bar or something healthy to eat later in the day. You really need to eat several small meals throughout the day to keep your metabolism going, as you probably know. Glad you are feeling good!!! :D

saraphin: We are having terribly cold weather ~ and worse coming soon ~ in Ohio right now. It is supposed to get down to -17 this Tuesday, with 40 below wind chill factor. BRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! :yikes: I will be staying indoors as much as possible. The kids are supposed to go back to school Monday, but if it is going to be as cold as predicted, they will probably have Monday and Tuesday off. We are also supposed to get more snow Sunday. Funny story about your pups! :) We have 3 dogs, too! I love them to pieces!!! :love: Yes, my pups go crazy whenever anyone walks past the house, especially if they are walking a dog. They are funny and they sure keep me company during the day, as I am a stay-at-home mom. Good luck on your 30 days without bingeing!!! YOU CAN DO IT..... ONE day at a time!!! ;)

LawGirl88: Did you do your affirmations and therapy reading? It's about 8:30pm your time, so the day is wrapping up. Hope you fit it in! ;)

Waving HELLO :wave: to everyone else! Hope all is well! :)

01-05-2014, 02:17 AM
Working on therapy reading as I write this. Thanks for checking in ibelieve it added extra motivation to do it knowing you guys were cheering me on. And got to a page in the book that was specifically about obsessions and behaviors like mine! I was meant to sit down and read it today!! Going to try this ticker method it recommends I'm a bit nervous about it but we shall see how it goes!!!!

Ibelieve Was it nice to spend time shopping with your daughter? You'll get to the treadmill tomorrow I'll check in with you for sure!

Wishing everyone a wonderful night.

Fiona W
01-05-2014, 04:26 AM
I'm doing well in general, but I'm kind of frustrated about my muesli situation. (For those of you who recently arrived, I was on strict Atkins induction for a while in the fall, and then went into a brief but very severe depression. Then I suddenly recovered, and I attributed my recovery to the fact that I ate a bowl of muesli. Some people who go on strict Atkins do get depressed. But alternatively, it could've been the change in my meds. Sort of superstitiously, ever since then, I've modified the Atkins diet to include a bowl of muesli every day around noon.) Yesterday I had a weird experience shortly after eating my muesli that I'm pretty sure was a panic attack. Some people who get depression also have panic attacks, but they're super rare for me, and when they do happen, usually there's some kind of trigger event that sets off the escalating anxiety. Yesterday there was no trigger at all: the panic state just blew in like a sudden storm. Well anyway, as a result, I got sick to my stomach, and eventually my whole gut acted up.

After I described it all to my husband Bob, he said maybe there was something off about the muesli, or about the cream I put on it, and that's why I got sick. I didn't think that made much sense because I had all the other symptoms of a severe anxiety attack. So today I sat down at noon again and had my bowl of muesli. I didn't have a panic attack, but my gut acted up again!

So Bob volunteered to be a guinea pig, and he ate a bowl of my muesli with cream. That was hours ago, and he hasn't gotten sick. So now we don't know what the heck is going on. I'm tempted to just bag the muesli and go back to eating only eggs, meat, cheese, occasional nuts, & salad greens. Maybe I'm not one of those people who get depressed on Atkins, after all. I sure would like to be on strict Atkins, because I like the food and I lose weight really well on it. I think I'll take the risk and see what happens...

saraphin— I'm thrilled to hear that the Brain Over Binge materials are motivating you to go binge-free! I am so relieved to have that nasty monkey off my back, I just can't tell you...Remember when you do get the urge, the trick is to separate yourself from it, but not fight it. If you fight it, the urge just gets stronger. Instead, you take the role of being an observer, that's all. Let it yap at you all it wants to. If you just observe it, it will fade, sooner or later.

01-05-2014, 09:55 AM
[QUOTE=saraphin;4911100]oh vermont mom that is too sad for your horrible work conditions. do you know when i was teaching i was the union rep and i knew about workcover issues (our 'rescue' haven in australia) anywaym, you current condition would have caused a HUGE uprising jere…can't you look around for a better job? it's only a shitty deli for crying out loud! hey, there must be lots of different stores near by where you are respected as a PERSON and ACTUALLY HAVE A STAFFROOM TO EAT IN! and nobody frowns at your food either. gosh you are trying so hard too. well done for all you great efforts. i would want something sweet if i were there…i would be like the side of a house and lucky to FIT in the stairwell!!!!!

sorry everyone….i just get so cross when people have to tolerate poor work conditions because of the stupid power imbalance. money always drives it. blah!


This made me cry a little to hear someone so passionately on my side :hug::hug: THANK YOU serafin and Lawgirl and IBelieve... You are right it is horrible and wrong and they have no right to be like that...I did bring plain yogurt yesterday and had that around 2 pm and that helped. However I BINGED when I got home, just because I had such a long day on my feet, stupid customers, etc. Ugh.

Seraphin I love your expressions, Im so glad it was a 'pearler' of a day yesterday for you!! I will remember that expression when it is summer here and I am on my motorcycle and at my other job that i like :) :) :)

Fi, I am so sorry you are puzzling over what is upsetting your tum and making anxiety!! :(

i'm sorry i don't have time to address all of you fantastic chick, I need to shower and get ready for work (and i WILL find some food to bring and make sure I eat it without hiding :rolleyes: ) as I am a human being and i need to eat during 7 hours, for cryin out loud.

Fiona W
01-05-2014, 10:31 PM
Well if I didn't have enough reasons to be serious about getting the weight off, now I have a really big reason: I had an episode of angina last night. Oh jeez... It's not the first time I've had chest pain resembling angina: the first was in July 2012, when it was scary enough I was hospitalized and had all kinds of blood tests and tests on my heart (echo, stress test, etc.). I got a clean bill of health that time—no cardiac damage, heart working just fine.

What happened last night was I did my leg exercises a lot faster than usual because Bob and I had a "date" to meet upstairs, and I got up to go climb the stairs while my heart rate was still elevated, and I was carrying a heavy bag full of stuff. By the time I got to the top of the stairs my chest was hurting—that intense crushing pain that is pretty unmistakeable for angina. (It isn't at all like my depression pain.) I had to lie down in bed and just try to relax and take deep breaths and ride it out. The pain radiated to my left arm and also up my neck and into my jaws on both sides. It was no picnic, and the darn thing lasted for well over an hour. Bob thinks it was even two hours before it subsided completely. The duration bothers me because the previous episode I had only lasted 15 minutes.

So I guess I better make an app't to see my internist. My father had bad coronary artery disease leading eventually to heart failure: he died at 80, which was way longer than his doctors thought he would make it. Sheesh... family history, plus being this much overweight... I don't know whether they're going to want to do a catheterization study at this point, or what will happen. At the very least, I should be able to get a medication (nitroglycerin?) to help with the pain, if it happens again.

I've been very tired all day today, and as you can imagine, I've been pretty worried. I wonder if my recent increase in exercise—walking a mile and a half on Wednesday—has anything to do with it. I'm going to be very careful about not letting my heart rate get too high, at least until I get my doctor's opinion.

Damn it all! I want to live to 90 or more. Everyone on my mother's side of the family are very long-lived. I have a great aunt who is 102.

Sorry to be so grim, y'all.

01-06-2014, 12:10 AM
Fi: Oh, my goodness, what a scare you had!!! :( How do you know the difference between angina and a heart attack? I would have thought I was having a heart attack from what you described. I am so glad that you recovered okay, and ~ yes ~ I sure hope you will contact a good cardiologist to get thoroughly checked out! Better safe than sorry!!! I hope you get your muesli situation figured out, too. Could the anxiety attack, gut pain and vomitting be related to the angina attack at all? Just wondering. Please proceed with caution and take good care of yourself! :hug:

LawGirl88: Yes, I had a wonderful time shopping and going out to dinner with my daughter! I treasure our "alone" times! I have not yet done the treadmill today, as I said I would. :o :( But I've been known to be walking on that daggone treadmill at midnight, so I haven't given up for the day yet! ;) I absolutely HAVE to get it done by the end of the day tomorrow (Monday)!!! I was supposed to work out with my trainer Monday, but we have terrible weather coming, so I switched it to Wednesday (and Friday). But I need to get my own cardio in between training sessions. Our training sessions are mainly strength training.

Holly: Good to see you posting! Be kind to yourself at work. I have been reading about how we teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. So true! I need to constantly remind myself of this very lesson, too! We need to make ourselves a PRIORITY, because we are worth it! :D

Trish: Did you find our new January thread? I am worried about you. I hope you are okay!

Chelsea: What is new with you? Hope things are looking up for you! I am sending you sunshine :sunny: and big hugs! :hug:

01-06-2014, 08:56 AM
good morning...

Fi! that is so scary! I also immediately wondered what is the dif between angina and a heart attack, we are worried and hoping this can be taken care of! :hug:

Kathleen, I think it is fantastic that you will tackle the treadmill even at midnight! I hope your weather is not horrible, maybe it will miss you.

Lawgirl, are you in a warm spot in Cali? and yay to you for trying to improve with your reading .

Hello :wave: to everyone else.

I get so frustrated with my boss for other reasons. Yesterday , a young man dropped a bottle of iced tea by accident. My boss went to see what happened, then got the guy a broom and dustpan for the customer to use to clean up!! Then came back to the deli to say "and I bet Michele (the cashier) won't charge him for it!") The young man came over with the broom and dustpan full of broken glass and was apologizing..then when he went to pay, he apologized again, and said 'and I guess I had TWO teas' and the boss was right there and did not say a word, so the young man was charged for the broken tea :( I felt so bad for him .

And the boss guilted a lady into putting a dollar in the tip jar. I don't really believe in the tip jar at the deli counter; and the owner of a business should not be soliciting tips for himself!! yet right when a lady was picking up her two sandwiches, he says loudly, 'we busted our butts today Holly and no one gave us any tips' and she looked started, went to the cashier to pay, then came back and put a dollar in :( I felt bad for her!!

you will all notice that I complain about him so much; I will shut up if it's a problem :rofl: the thing is, i love my summer job but do need a place to work when that seasonal position is closed. The deli/bakery is very glad to have me and its a secure position.

I hope everyone has at least an OK day and at the best a great day :)

01-06-2014, 11:02 AM
Good Morning all! Crazy, wet, rainy winter day here - ughh! Despite the weather I am feeling pretty good, though, so I'll take it.

VermontMom: I can't believe the attitude of your boss. I'm no human resources expert, but I'm pretty sure they are required to provide a break during your shift. AND whining to gain tips for himself seems really petty.

Fi: I really hope things are improving and that you are feeling better. How SCARY!!

IBelieve: Sounds like a great, fun day with your daughter. We all need to treat ourselves - probably more often than we allow.

Is it just me or do we seem to take care of everyone but ourselves?

Fiona W
01-06-2014, 05:36 PM
Thanks for the votes of concern, everyone. I just got back from seeing my internist: my physical exam is normal and so is my EKG. If that had been a heart attack, there would be changes in the EKG. So it was probably angina, just like I thought. I have an app't to see a cardiologist soon and get a repeat stress test. (My last stress test was normal.) I guess I'll hold off on any intense cardio exercise until I've had the stress test. In the meantime my doc has put me on a beta-blocker to lower my heart rate and take some of the stress off my heart. He says it will be up to the cardiologist whether to give me some nitroglycerin, in case it happens again.

And my doc was thrilled by my weight loss! It's been 40 pounds since the last time i saw him. He shook my hand twice, saying, "Congratulations!" and "That's really impressive!" That made me feel good, to hear that from someone in person. My husband supports me a lot, but it's hard for him to appreciate the change, since he sees me every day.

01-06-2014, 06:55 PM
At work so super speedy update then tonight ill come and check in on everyone :).

Full blown breakdown last night. BF had to keep telling me to take deep breathes and calm down it was ugly. Then we discussed that after 2 weeks on this dose and over a month on this meds they seem ineffective. Called doc this morning and will be going to see her in a couple hours.

I know this drugs not right but I hate this merry ground. Lexapro completely numbed me and I spent years having no real emotions and gaining a ton of weight, pristiq made my heart beat crazy and my head feel totally off like foggy and in lala land. Viibryd causes mild stomach issues which I could handle but it seems to maybe help 10 percent.

Ugh!!!!! Supposed to as about prozac as its good with ocd and can have less weight gain but who knows.

Wish me luck. That and that the illnesses im obsessing over the doctor will say arent worth my thoughts.

Xoxo checking in later.

01-06-2014, 07:35 PM
Well, after doing no cardio Saturday and Sunday, I finally walked on the treadmill for 35 minutes just a little while ago! :D :carrot: Hip, hip, hooray!!! :cp: It is about -6 degrees here today and the kids were off school today and will be off tomorrow, too, because of the bitter cold temperatures. We are staying indoors as much as possible. It is supposed to be even colder tomorrow. But my daughter is supposed to work out with our trainer tomorrow afternoon, so we will most likely brave the weather for that, unless our trainer cancels. I will do my cardio at the gym while DD works out with the trainer. My food has been great lately, but nibbling at night is still a problem, so definitely not perfect.

Holly: Your boss sounds like a real jerk!!! :devil: Sorry, but it's true! ;) Good that the deli provides secure work for you, though. Just be sure to stand YOUR ground with him!!! Or else tell him that your "fat chick friends" will be coming in to deal with him!!! :lol:

Run4three: Great to hear from you again! No, it's not just you about taking care of everyone else but yourself!!! I am working to change that, though, because it really is true that the better care we take of ourselves, the more we will have to offer others. :) Glad to hear that you are feeling pretty good, despite your bad weather! ;) I am sending you some sunshine! :sunny:

Fi: SO, SO happy to hear that everything checked out okay, but also glad that you will follow up with a cardiologist, just to make sure. How great that your doctor was impressed with your weight loss!!! :D It is always nice to know someone notices!!! :carrot: :broc:

LawGirl88: So sorry to hear about your breakdown! :( It does sound like your medication isn't working. I'll be anxious and waiting to hear what your doctor says. Please keep us posted. I understand about hating the merry-go-round with meds. I had to go through a lot before finding the right combo of meds for me. Hang in there! You will get the help you need as long as you keep pursuing it. Best of luck to you with everything!!! ;)

Waving hello to everyone else! :wave:

01-06-2014, 11:22 PM
hi everyone.

now listen i'm getting angina attacks now…because i'm reading vermontmom's post!

i can't stand it. i'm goona come over there and rip his bloody arms off, in a miinute!

fi, get a qualified opinion, eh?

stay warm…i'll send some fine weather your way too!. i'm hanging out the washing today …it's so fabulous outside (sorry to make you jealous hehe).

when i bring it in, and water the petunias (which happen to be cascading at the moment) i'll blow over a few of the fluffy white clouds that are decorating our blue skies!

love to all


01-07-2014, 02:09 AM
Fiona So scary. Good job staying calm though and I'm so glad everything showed up okay on your doctor stuff so far hopefully they can give you medication to manage it. And your doctors right to high five you you're rocking it!!!

ibelieve Yay for your cardio so proud of you guys finding was to exercise despite your major crazy weather!!!! How old are your kids are they going store crazy or old enough to stay entertained.

Doctors appreciate went well she's so kind and just wants to help me find a solution. Weren't trying yet another SSRI as she agreed a meltdown and a sad crying episode in one day are not equivalent to working meds.

:) actually feeling pretty good this evening and think I can start recording my calories and just making all sorts of positive changes tomorrow. This sadness derailed me quite a bit from actively working towards weight loss but now that the weight has stopped magically dropping off its my turn to put in the time.

01-07-2014, 09:52 AM
Good morning friends! It is crazy that the weather can swing from -20 to 53 to 8 in 36 hours!! Welcome to Vermont, right, VermontMom? We are seriously covered in ice - everywhere!! I've skating on rinks that weren't as smooth as parking lots and driveways are!!

LawGirl - keep talking and working with your doc. I am really sorry you are having a hard time finding regulators that work. I went through this for years as well, it sucks. Don't give up, be honest about how you feel, and keep advocating for yourself! Also, you may not find a single remedy but may need a 'cocktail'. I am currently fairly well managed, but am on 2 different rxs one I take at night, one in morn, to counteract various side effects each give me. I hate being chemically enhanced, but I hate depression and anxiety more. I am a much better wife and mom now. Sending lots of love and hugs.

Fi: You are a rock star! Great job staying focused about trying to find answers to your previous attack without letting it consume you and spiral down. AND kudos from the doc for your weight loss is tremendous!! You deserve it. 40 lbs baby!

IBelieve: keep it up! Treadmill on!

01-07-2014, 05:07 PM
hi all, I am sorry that I can't be more active on here. working full time and having about an hour drive to/from work is very time consuming.

Kathleen, thank you as always for your wonderful support. I am always encouraged to hear you are doing your cardio, it helps to remind me to do mine(even if I don't get to it!!).

Fi: Congratulations on having your writing published! And 40 lbs! recognition for hard work is soo nice to receive. It is always really helpful to me to hear what you have to say, especially since you go through books like crazy! Your insight is so clear. I am sorry to hear about your angina, but am glad that your test results have been good so far. Always thinking good thoughts for you, even when I am not able to post.

Lawgirl: I really feel for you! I wish that I had some good advice, but the only thing I can offer is to keep trying.

I have decided to apply for the greenhouse grower assistant position that I found. A friend reminded me that an interview is for both the employer, and for me! We will see what comes of it.

After doing more physical stuff at work yesterday instead of just sitting in front of a computer all day, I really realized how important it is for me to be active during the day. My cognition was higher, and I was so much more productive. I talked to my partner about it, and though he is apprehensive about the loss of income that may come with it, I know that he would like me to be able to earn my living doing something that really brings me joy. I did completely break down and hide under a blanket last night after we talked about it though, it was really difficult for me to bring it up.

Because of my mood stabilizer and the celexa, I constantly feel like I'm trying to think through a cloud of pudding. as my celexa dose has dropped, some clarity has come back to me, but it is packed with anxiety now! I thought the welbutrin was working ok, but the last several weeks have really made me doubt that any of my medications are doing what they are supposed to. its time to go back to the dr. i guess.

Fiona W
01-07-2014, 11:46 PM
I just wanted to say I'm doing fine—slowly getting over being freaked out by my chest pain episode. Thanks again for all the support!

Y'all might be amused by my two latest collages on the theme of wacky New Year's resolutions: they're here ( and here (

Sorry I don't have the energy to respond to y'all individually tonight, but I'm reading your postings and thinking good thoughts in your direction!

01-08-2014, 01:36 AM
Got my cardio in this afternoon while my daughter worked out with our trainer. :carrot: I work out with the trainer Wednesday morning. The worst part will be going out in these cold temps, although it is supposed to get a bit warmer tomorrow. The kids have been off school Monday and Tuesday due to bitter cold temps. So they have been off since before Christmas. Back at it tomorrow! I have a bunch of stuff to return from Christmas that I have put off until they are back in school, so I plan to do much (or all) of that tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday. I always procrastinate on returning things. I hate it. But it needs to get done. :dizzy: Eating was good today, except a bag of 100 calorie popcorn and 2 sugar-free fudge pops late tonight (like just now). :o I really need to get a grip on night-time eating! :( I haven't weighed myself in awhile. Keep forgetting to do it first thing in the morning. Hoping for that scale to budge down soon!!! :^:

saraphin: Enjoy every minute of your nice weather!!! Yes, I am jealous! :p I think we should turn you loose on Holly's (VermontMom's) boss!!! :lol: That, I would like to see! ;)

LawGirl88: My kids are 17 and 14, so they pretty much entertain themselves. They have loved having a few extra days off of school. But it's back to the drawing board tomorrow! Did you say you ARE or aren't trying another SSRI? Regardless, I hope you get your medication situation working for you soon! Keep plugging away at it and you WILL find the med combo that's right for YOU. As Run4three said, you might need a "cocktail" of meds (rather than a single med) to get where you want/need to be. Don't give up! :hug:

Run4three: Wow, your weather sounds even crazier than ours right now! -20 is just RIDICULOUS!!! :yikes: Be careful on that ice! Thanks for the encouragement on my cardio! :)

CDubs: It is great to hear from you! Don't worry about how often you post. Just do what you can! We understand! ;) Good luck on the greenhouse grower assistant position! :goodluck: Please keep us posted on how things go with it. It sounds like you had some great revelations about being more active at work and how it affects your productivity. Good for you for discussing it with your partner, despite it being difficult. You crack me up on hiding under your blankets! :lol: I've been known to hide under my blankets, too, during stressful times! ;) I hope you get your meds figured out!

Fi: Thanks for checking in! I will check out your latest collages tomorrow. Gotta hit the sack now. ;)

01-08-2014, 01:45 AM
run4Thanks for the support!! It seems my body responds very well to a loooow dose do meds so I believe that's why we haven't done much of a combo other then the as needed benzo which they hate prescribing. Hopefully we will find a solution and one without the lethargic blah and excessive weight that came with lexapeo.

cdubsGo for that interview and kick some you know what. It's so important to have a position you enjoy it'll make it so much easy to stay happy and keep making progress with your weight. I just noticed were around the same weight and height and have the same goal yay buddies!

ibelieve Yay for your cardio and fighting the cold. So awesome. And good luck with the returns maybe you'll find something special for yourself in the process. Haha I'm the chubby girl who still has a shopping problem just not with clothes so I'm probably a bad example.

So today kinda kicked booty. I mean I could have been 100 times better but it was sooooo much better then anyway I've had lately. Therapist confronted me about not making the efforts myself to go to the gym and treat the anxiety with something within my own control so I went. I rode the elliptical for an hour got wrapped up in a silly dr Phil episode and walked to and front he gym (not far at all) and to the store twice. :) Guess as powerless as I feel I do have some control over this stuff!!!

01-08-2014, 09:10 AM
Hello all.

I'm not depressed right now and don't expect to be a for awhile but i have a long history of depression. And have been working on personal growth since 1997 to tackle it and everything else.

My weight's always gone up and down. I joined this site a few days ago. I"m using it a fair bit to make procrastinating easier . But i also started a new diet around new years.

I thought it a good time to decided that 2014 should be a year long effort to get down to my goal weight and stay there, get fit and try to just generally become a healthier person for more than just a few months as is my usual way.

I'm keeping a food log in the vegetarian section as i am on the whole a vegetarian.

I've been a long time member of depression website. But i'im starting a business this year so i don't expect to be depressed for a while.

01-08-2014, 11:10 PM
Hello everyone,

I haven't checked in all month. My weight's up, I need to start doing some work out videos or something? I haven't been this heavy in a long time. My motivation is really low though. How can that be though? YOU'd think I'd be so motivated to get going considering my weight being so bad.

Stress levels have been up. I have had an infected finger, it had to be drained. It was pretty gross. Money is still tight even though I am working. My anxiety is still bothering me, meds are working and helping me to a certain extent but they never control all of the anxiety.

I will try to come back and post more. I think it would help me to share my anxieties with you all.

01-09-2014, 10:43 AM
Pattience: :welcome2: to our group! I am happy that you found us here and that you aren't depressed right now. I am in such a better place now than when I started this journey with depression and anxiety and meds. Unfortunately, I am still carrying the excess weight that the meds put on me and I seem to be incredibly weight-loss resistant due to the meds I am currently on. I recently weaned down on Abilify, but my doctor doesn't want me to go below 15mg right now. I am also on Buspar for anxiety and Effexor (anti-depressant). Good luck to you with starting your new business and on your weight loss journey! Keeping a food log will help. I am keeping track of my food and exercise in a journal. Stick with it and keep on posting! That helps, too! ;)

ohiofreespirit: :welcome3: to you, too! It is nice to have a fellow Ohioan on board! :D How do you like our weather lately? My daughter just went back to school (8th grade) today! After Christmas break, they were off for bitter cold temps Monday and Tuesday and then her school had a water main break yesterday morning, which forced them to cancel school. She is lovin' going back to a 2-day week! :) I aactually like snow, but can't stand these bitter cold temps, so winter is my least favorite season. I am at my all-time high weight and I, too, struggled with motivation for a long time. I've learned that it can't be forced. You need to consider if and why you truly want to lose the weight and want those things more than you want your current lifestyle that results in being overweight. At least that's how it is for me. We get certain pay-offs by staying overweight (like eating whatever we want; not exercising; etc) and ~ as long as those pay-offs outweigh the pay-offs of being thin, we stay the same. Try to really visualize yourself and your life at a healthy weight..... and make that vision more enticing than your current lifestyle. Maybe that would help your motivation? Just trying to help and share what is currently helping me to keep my motivation up. Also, try "acting as if" you WANT to be thin ~ and taking the steps toward better health ~ until it becomes your reality. The ol' "fake it til you make it" principle. I am sending you some :dust: in the meantime! You can do this! Keep on posting in this group and we will do our best to support you. :hug:

LawGirl88: Great job getting to the gym and riding the elliptical and walking lots, too! You should be proud of yourself! :D Glad that you were able to meet with your therapist and get some guidance ~ and YOU followed through by DOING IT!!! You go girl!!! :carrot: You are NOT powerless over this stuff, as you PROVED to yourself when you "just did it" and went to the gym and worked out! Glad that it helped you feel a sense of control. You are funny about me finding something for myself while returning Christmas items. Yes, half the time I return things, I end up spending more money than I originally did in the store! :o Shopping can certainly be a good distraction and an addiction. I just call it retail therapy. :lol: It usually lifts my mood...... unless I get depressed while trying on clothes. Then it makes my mood worse.

Waving hello :wave: to everyone else! Hope all is well with everyone!

01-09-2014, 03:18 PM
Does ups and downs mean Bipolar (which I am ) or up and down in the weight department....which I am too????

Hi Mountain Walker, I have seen your post and would like to recommend Herbalife to help with your weight loss, I lost 4 stones in 7months and I was constantly gaining losing and just yo-yoing constantly until my friend recommended Herbalife at first I thought she was trying to make money out of me until I realised that I felt great! As well as the Herbalife I was also taking my meds and I felt so full of energy and was losing weight rapidly! I am now still taking Herbalife and have took up running, and guide people along the way now by distributing Herbalife at a non commission price! im not out to make money im out to help people that were in the same situation as me and help build confidence!! I hope this helps you, feel free to message me at anytime just for a chat or for more info :)

cheryll :D

Fiona W
01-09-2014, 03:51 PM
Finally getting the chance to write a proper posting...I'm quite a bit calmer about my angina episode now that I have an action plan: (1) workup with cardiologist later this month; (2) go to an E.R. if, Goddess forbid, it happens again!

My moods are pretty good these days. I've started a habit of tracking them in my day planner—just jotting a quick number rating for morning, afternoon & evening every day. I find it helps me keep perspective when I feel like I'm going through a rough time, and is very helpful for my shrink to look at, of course. Mostly I have trouble in the afternoons: there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about the daily dip around 1-5 PM. Although some days I'm pretty good: I'm writing this posting at 2 PM.

Dietwise, I continue to find it SO much easier to stay on plan since I read Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge ( and started using her technique for resisting urges to eat what I shouldn't. My "binges" were never as extensive as Hansen's—sometimes a "binge" was just a few cookies—but her technique works just as well for mild binges and garden-variety overeating. If any of y'all have issues with cravings for food you know you shouldn't eat, I highly recommend her book. Her technique just gives me a sense of being more in control—not in a rigid, restricting kind of way, but in a way that's like being in the driver's seat, controlling where my life is going.

Trish— 'Haven't heard from you in a while, girl! If you're still reading this thread, I want you to know that I'm thinking about you—wondering what's up and wishing you well.

ohiofreespirit— Welcome to Ups & Downs! Even before you get motivated, I think you'll find that posting every day, whenever possible, will help you get the ball rolling. I find, myself, that if I just start making changes in my diet and exercise levels, however small, that the motivation will come into place later. The old Nike "Just do it!" has a good bit of wisdom in it.

Patience— Welcome on board! I like your user name: patience is so important, isn't it? Please don't think of yourself as "procrastinating" if you've started posting here, especially not if you're keeping a food log! Once we start documenting our behavior, even if we haven't made any overt changes yet, the process of getting more healthy has begun. And you certainly don't need to be depressed in the here and now to find this a supportive place to hang out. I look forward to reading more of your postings! What kind of business are you starting? Don't forget that even "good stress," like getting something going that you care about, still counts as stress, so be sure to take extra good care of yourself during this time.

LawGirl88— Congratulations on the positive changes you're making in diet & exercise! Those pounds coming off will keep your spirits up and you'll be more motivated to exercise, which is also good for your mood, and so on in a self-reinforcing cycle.

Kathleen— Here's a thought about your nighttime eating: Why don't you try setting a definite time after which you're not going to eat anything, and then, when the urges come on, just separate yourself from them and remind yourself that you are the one in control, not that food that seems to be calling your name. I like Brooke Castillo's distinction between what you want vs. what you feel: tell yourself that you want to start a plan of no eating after such-&-such a time, even if you feel like reaching for the munchies. There's no reason why "I feel like eating" has to win the argument. Just observe your feelings, let them squawk all they want, but stay fixed in your mind about what you want. And you could set a mini-goal of going 30 days without any nighttime eating, and put it in your postings, or your signature, so you can give yourself credit for how many days you've gone so far. Give it a whirl...

Chelsea— Good for you that you've identified what makes you feel better, and are taking steps to make a change in your job situation! I have a dear friend who works for a gardening supply company, and she always talks about the positive effect on her mood from being around plants all day long.

Run4three— Thanks so much for the supportive comments! I wouldn't worry so much about being "chemically enhanced," if I were you: we are all quite fortunate to have these medications that help us be more at peace and to function better. I think of myself as more the "real me" when I am taking my psychotropic meds than I would be if I were suffering the ravages of depression, anxiety, etc.

Holly— Good luck with taking deep breaths and not letting it faze you the next time your boss is being an ***hole! What's your summer job? Now you've got me curious...

saraphin— Can you tell us more about what's going on with you? For example, how has your insight about binge eating begun to help you? Often just recognizing and owning up to things like that is a huge first step on the way to making changes in our behavior.

Stay warm, everybody! Even here in the mild climate of the DC area, I've started wearing gloves when I go out!

01-09-2014, 11:33 PM
I just realized how many typos I have in my posts. Sorry guys I'm typing on my iPad and I'm kind of challenged cause I'm not super-duper used to it yet. I promise I'm smarter then I seem.

pattienceWelcome! That's so great you're starting a business and doing well with your depression!
OhioSorry about your finger that's nooooo fun is it healing and doing better now? As for the money I feel you, I work and work and still feel like I'm always needing more money to pay another bill. We are here to help you stay motivated! You can totally do this, don't worry about it being the heaviest just think you'll never see these numbers again. :)
Fiona yay for having a plan. Hopefully now that you have one though it won't be necessary other then in practice. And we all have times of the day that are harder does it have anything to do with less activity during that time or less people around anything to specifically pinpoint?
Thanks!!!! You have your trainer in the frozen cold tomorrow right?? Do you look forward to those days? I feel like it would be dreaded and looked forward to at the same time.

3rd day of the 30 minutes or more that my therapist told me I needed to do, and probably the least woohoo day of the three but also still better then the days I've been without. Tomorrow is jam packed from the very beginning which will hopefully lead to distraction not more worries.

On the new meds which are an SSRI sorry me and my typos, but obviously at this point they won't be doing anything yet. We shall see.......

Hope everyone's looking forward to Friday!!!

01-10-2014, 01:01 PM
Short little note today. Since I have a 'free' night, I convinced my partner that he should run with me! Hooray since I have been doing terribly with my exercise. Unfortunately still having anxiety/upset stomach in the mornings but it actually feels less severe today so I am trying to be hopeful. In other news, I didn't get the job that I applied for. That has been weighing on me but it isn't so much the specific job itself but the situation I guess.

Does anyone have advice on what to look for when searching for a therapist? I have been reading through profiles like crazy and am having a hard time finding someone that I think I would be really comfortable with. I'm a bottler so it is hard for me to be really vulnerable and open with someone, which kind of negates going in the first place.

Thank you all as always, and good thoughts for everyone!

01-10-2014, 03:45 PM
Well, I tried on some clothes again yesterday when returning some items, and man was I depressed! :o :( After how hard I have been working out and watching what I eat, you could still see my rolls through the clothes I tried on. Could have gone into a deep negative place, but I coached myself through it. I know that I am doing the right/healthy thing by working out and eating better, so I will just keep on keeping on and things will eventually get better with my body. Then, last night, I went out with some friends and had some drinks. On my way home, I stopped at Steak 'n Shake and got a large fry and regular chocolate shake. :o :o :( I made a conscious decision to go there and eat that food, so that part is good. But I think it was a bit related to my earlier experience at the clothes store. I kind of thought, "What the heck?!? My good eating isn't helping anyway..... and I WANT the fries and shake." If I hadn't had some drinks and felt stronger, I probably would have resisted more. But oh well, this is a process and setbacks are a part of it, so I will move forward again. I worked out with my trainer this morning. Was dreading it, but I did it anyway! :D And I'm glad I did! :carrot: I think my mind is back in the correct place now.

Fi: Happy to hear that you have an action plan just in case of any more angina attacks. Smart lady! ;) Also glad to hear that your moods are pretty good these days. I hope you can use your mood tracking to figure out why you have the afternoon dip in mood. That doesn't sound like any fun! Do you dread afternoons because of it? Thank you for the tips on my night-time eating. I just read that part in Brooke Castillo's book about what I want versus what I feel. It is helpful to remember and I will attempt to apply it to the night-time munchies. I usually stay up late, which is when I get into trouble. But I could at least make better choices at that late hour (e.g., veggies), so as not to sabotage my weight loss efforts.

LawGirl88: Our bitter cold has subsided, so we are just having normal winter weather and temps now, thank God! You are right: I both dread and look forward to my workouts. One thing is for sure though: I am always happy that I worked out afterward!!! I try to use that feeling to motivate me for next time. HOORAY for 3 days of 30 minutes or more working out!!! WAY TO GO!!! :D Keep up the good work! It WILL help both your mood and your weight loss efforts!

Chelsea: Did you get your run in with your partner last night? I hope so! Sorry that you didn't get that job you applied for. Must not have been meant to be. My suggestions of what to look for in a therapist are: 1) professionalism, 2) expertise, 3) compassionate, 4) years of practice, and 5) empathetic/encouraging (especially since you said you are a "bottler"). Those are just some of the basic qualities I would look for (not necessarily in the order listed). You need to find someone who is a good fit FOR YOU. If you don't feel like the person is helping you (in your gut), definitely seek out someone new, until you find the right match for you. It may be uncomfortable at first, but the right person can help to put you at ease over time. It might take a few tries. I applaud you for searching for a therapist. I believe it is a step in the right direction! ;)

Fiona W
01-10-2014, 05:34 PM
Chelsea— Kathleen's comments about looking for a therapist are excellent. I also suggest that you (1) try to get a chance to hear their voices on the phone, even just through an answering machine: you can tell a lot from someone's voice; (2) narrow the list down to three people, and go interview all three of them. You are hiring the person for a very personal service, so there's no reason you can't take a pro-active stance and view yourself as their potential employer. Just be upfront about it and tell them, "I'll get back to you" at the end of each interview. It's worth the extra dollars to be sure you get the right "fit." Good luck!

01-12-2014, 06:33 AM
I Believe- Thank you for the warm welcome.

I am so glad our weather here in Ohio warmed up. That sub-zero crap was for the birds. My furnace ran non-stop for 4 days, -11, -6 , -4, that stuff was awful. I was so scared my car, despite it being relatively new, wasn't going to start. I am always scared about the battery not working.

Now, to my weight problem, I don't exercise and that is my problem. I have a walking video that would be perfect for me to use. I just need to pop it in and go.
I also need to lay off the sweets.


Thank you for welcoming me to the group. I will certainly take your advice.


Thanks for asking about my finger, it is still not healed. I am soaking it every day, several times a day. It's not so bad that it needs drained again by a Dr. It is still bleeding underneath the nail a little, so it is draining a bit on it's own. I am keeping a close eye on it.

Well, i am going to turn in for the night. Sweet dreams.

01-13-2014, 12:07 PM
Hello Buddies! It has been quiet around here the past couple days. I have checked in but didn't have anything new to post. Just got home from a morning workout with my trainer, so I am feelin' good! :carrot: I am keeping a food and exercise log, which also asks me to list goals for the week and recaps the week at the end of each week. Just started this a week ago, but it is helping me already. My biggest success this past week has been exercising more consistently. My biggest challenge has been night-time eating. My goals for this week are to limit night-time eating and to get in more days of cardio. I can do it!!! :D I forgot to weigh myself this morning, so not sure if my weight has changed at all yet, but I know that I am heading in the right direction, so that is what really matters right now! I will NOT let the scale deter me from my goals!!! I am STAYING POSITIVE no matter what!!! :D :carrot:

Trish (lilturtle): Are you, by chance, reading along?!? I am afraid that we lost you on this new thread. :?: Please post, if only to say hello, if you are here. I am worried about you! :(

Fi: Your input is always supportive! Thanks for being here! Hope all is well with you. :)

Waving HELLO :wave: to everyone else!!! Please post when you can with an update. ;)

01-13-2014, 06:50 PM
Hi....sorry I have been out of contact for a couple of weeks. There has been a lot going on in my life. I'm going to try and commit to post every day again. I've been watching what I eat but I haven't been weighed recently. I hope I am still losing.

01-13-2014, 07:29 PM
Trish (lilturtle): Thank you so much for posting!!! I am just happy that you are still here. I haven't weighed in awhile either, so I am going to try to remember to weigh-in first thing in the morning one of these mornings. It's the only time I like to weigh myself.

Right now, my family is giving me grief about the clutter around our house. I want it gone, too, and have been working on it for such a long time to no avail........ that I am literally afraid that I won't be able to conquer this problem of mine. The issue has once again come to the forefront (as it periodically does) because my son has a new girlfriend (his first "real" girlfriend) that he wants to bring over to meet us. I really want to meet her and understand that we need to get the house in much better shape first, but I just have such a mental block about this subject (clutter) that I don't know what I am going to do. I HAVE to get this place cleaned up......somehow. My organizer comes this Friday, which will help a lot, but I can't ever seem to maintain any progress we make. :( This whole issue seriously makes me feel like crying. :cry: I feel so hopeless when it comes to clearing the clutter and now it is such an emotionally-charged subject for EVERYONE in our household that it causes arguments and hard feelings whenever it comes up. I just seriously want to crawl in a hole right now. :cry: I have been working so hard to stay positive with my weight loss efforts and have used up all of my energy to just stay positive for that ~ and I feel like I have nothing left for this (clutter) battle. But, I will pick myself up and dust myself off and give the clutter my best effort. I will survive. I will be okay. I will NOT eat my way through this!!! I have come too far. Please send me all of the strength and :dust: you can!!! I really need it right now!!! :cry: Thanks for listening! I know it sounds ridiculous, especially if you have never had a problem with clutter, but this issue has been a HUGE one in my life for as long as I can remember..... I just want it to go away!

01-13-2014, 08:46 PM
Kathleen, you are ALWAYS here for us so we are sending you LOADS of :dust::dust: I am so sorry that this is causing you such strife :( and I hope you are able to get through it :hug:

HI Ohio!!! :wave: so good to see you :) very sorry for hearing about your finger, sure hope it gets better like now :) yeah that cold weather was awful wasn't it!

I am having to type this with my Kindlefire so it is slow going, really kinda inhibits doing longer posts.

Fi, I am going to TRy to ignore my particular "yappy little dog" which is mindless eating, snacking, second helpings.

HELLO to everyone else!

01-13-2014, 10:10 PM
hi everyone! i'm so sorry i haven't been around much lately. well, the heat here is horrible. what a contrast to what you are going through! i am worried about myself because i have been bad lately. it could be the heat. i hope i haven't had a stroke or the residual stuff in my hed hasnt't grown or isn't bleeding, those are my 3 biggest fears. i hope it's the heat making my symptoms worse only…a doctor once told me that happens with brain injury like mine. oh.

my DH said go see the doctor but i don't want to leave the house except to do my own things. i just want to spend all my time doing my own things…art,craft etc.

i have been making things to swap and it's been fun

the tennis is on.

the australian open. great viewing. my DH is watching briefly before he goes out to finish a job he's doing.

i read your posts.

you know it would take me one day to tidy your clutter, ibelieve. if you went out. lol. you should see my art area. a place for everything, and everything in it's place!

i keep everything btw. don't throw it out - put it in a box and lebel it. each individual thing. i gave a box for little pink buttons and one for orange buttons and a pretty bag for envelopes and one for used cards and one for double-sided tape and foam mounting pads are in together.

then i put cray-pas in a box, and pencils in a tin and paper to use for the printer by itself in a spot, and a little bag for little pictures for swapping, and a bag for postcards, all labelled, and so on. can you afford to go buy storage bags and boxes? from the cheap shops i mean. they are pretty and cheap and keep your stuff organised. it's fun to dlo, trust me :-) please don't worry. your family should support you not grumble. but i understand. they need a tidy home.

your home just needs to be organised, is all. nobody's gonna damae anything or throw anything out. just put it stored neatly in a container of sort. i even use tupperware boxes for things like one for coloured cellophane, one for clear cellophane, one for tissue, one for bubble wrap, one for notepaper/notebooks. stackedm labelled using bits of paper and sticky tape, or a black sharpie.

i must re-write some of my labels, actually, because my eye-sight is so bad i can't read them!

i'm doing so well in the weight-loss area. another kilo lost this week brings me down to 81.2 kilo's!!!!!!!!!!yah!!!!!! i'll be in the 70's soon.

sorry for the typo's.

love to you all


01-14-2014, 08:58 AM
saraphin - what great ideas and tips you gave! do you have a picture of your work area, would love to see it. So sorry about your terrible heat..and I'm not sure if we know about your previous head injury? (or if I'm being nosy ignore me :D )

and my almost dead MacBook is behaving this morning so that's why I'm typing so fast and furiously, lol

Fi - my summer job is kewl! I do the pastry baking for a private fly fishing club...yes there are such things, haha. We serve 3 meals a day and have lodging for about 80 max but can accomodate up to 100-ish . I also cook breakfast there 2 days a week to help the day cook have a day or two off. I love it because it is a gorgeous 22 mile commute on my motorcycle that ends on a 3 mile dirt road deep in the woods. A very large and nice kitchen, someone to wash my bowls and utensils, and can make up my own menu. But its a seasonal place, only open from mid-May to end of October. So that's why I stick to the yuck winter job, because they adjust to lose me during the summer, then gladly take me back each winter.

Hello to everyone else! I am doing terrible with eating but each day I have a little hope for myself.

01-14-2014, 01:44 PM
IBelieveInMe2 have you ever heard of Fly Lady? Google her. She has wonderful solutions for clutter. I might check her out again. I could certainly use some help too.

For one of the first times in my life I don't have much of an appetite. I'm not doing small meals but I'm not binging either. Yesterday I ate a banana, a turkey sandwich and a granola bar. Today so far I have not eaten anything. Am I hurting my diet? I'm not going to get weighed until the 21st so I have no clue. My pants are starting to feel looser. That's a good sign right?

01-14-2014, 04:04 PM
ibelieveYou can totally overcome the clutter but maybe don't put the pressure of your sons gf on it immediately. You guys could totally meet her in a neutral place!! She doesn't have to come to the house just yet, but that can be a goal! That way you can meet her soon with the goal in your own head of having her over in the near future. Talk to your organizer too about your goal and maybe a task list you can work on between her visits. That way it's not this daunting pile of all the clutter but rather a to do list you can check off and feel accomplished.

saraphinyour craft room sounds amazing!!! I can say without a doubt I am not that organized! Congrats on your weight progress. As for your other issues I'd say if your doc said heat can make it worse give it a little while and see?? If your not in the heat directly but inside in air conditioning are things better? Sorry don't know anything about brain injury just guessing.

VermontYour summer job sounds so amazing and fun for you. Guess that makes your miserable bosses during the winter a little bit easier to deal with!!!! And don't worry you'll do better with the eating you're aware you're doing bad and that's a step in and of itself.

lilturtle Not feeling the need to binge is awesome!! I'd just make sure you're still getting enough calories. I know some people do those starvation days but since that's not your intent you don't want your body to hold on to and store food because it thinks it won't be getting more. :)

As for me this weeks been mediocre. I've now done the 30 minutes of cardio for 6 of the last 7 days and that did for sure help. The new meds have been a week and I am supposed to be increasing my dose as of today but haven't just yet...I'm not sure if I'm noticing an effect from them or not. I'd say not yet.

Been working so much lately cause coworkers and their families have been sick and out of town. Today's the first shortish day I've had since Friday.

Hoping I can be in a good mood and positive head the rest of the week with my birthday Thursday and a trip for said birthday over the weekend.

01-14-2014, 09:16 PM
Hi everyone,

I had to go yesterday and have my finger drained again. I am on antibiotic for 10 days. They numbed my finger, I think they called it a "block." She then ran a scalpel underneath my cuticle to open it up. I just want it to heal and be over with.

I am applying to DeVry and had to take tests to get in.

I did REALLY well on the reading portion of my tests. My advisor said I scored in the highest ranking they give. I could tell by her voice she was in shock and impressed.

Now I'm waiting to hear if I passed the writing portion of the tests. I just heard and I did VERY well on my written portion. I scored in the highest class for both the written and reading portions.

I still have to retake the arithmetic part of these tests. If I don't pass, I can't get in DeVry. I'm going to take a couple of days and study really hard. I've got to pass this test.

Have a great few days, ladies.

01-14-2014, 10:16 PM
Hey there-

I'm sorry that I didn't post sooner, life has been busy. I think that all in all things are going pretty well though and I am actually considering getting Lap-Band, which would be a huge step for me. I'm going to the information session soon. I can't wait to become more active, I did as much PT as my doc and I thought was right, now I hope to start working out more.

I was doing Overeaters Anonymous for awhile but I don't think it is for me right now. Good luck to anyone who wants to try it though.

Hi to Vermont Mom and Ohio Free Spirit-

I hope that you are both well!

Ohio- there are certain types of ortho docs who specialize in the hands and wrist, maybe consider checking that out. I hear you on math, I am not good at it. There are some free websites that you can use to brush up on math skills. Good luck with that!

01-14-2014, 11:34 PM
Thank you to everyone who wrote messages of support to me about my clutter situation. All of your thoughts and ideas are helpful. My hubby started cleaning out some stuff on the first floor last night, which actually helped me to see some hope in the situation. He always makes a lot of progress. At first, I feel anxiety when he starts throwing things away, but ~ once it's gone ~ I usually don't miss it. My progress comes much slower, but I am trying to change my frame of mind before I dive in. I need to realize that I CAN clear the clutter ~ one thing at a time ~ and MAINTAIN organization ~ despite my failed attempts in the past. It won't be perfect, but I can certainly make a lot of progress in our house if I regularly attend to the clutter. I CAN DO THIS!!!

Holly: Thank you for being here for me and for sending me :dust:! I need it! :hug: Glad to hear that you are holding out HOPE for yourself despite being challenged by your eating habits lately. At least you are being honest with yourself. This too shall pass. Your summer job does sound very KEWL!!! ;)

saraphin: Thank you for taking the time to describe the organization you have achieved in your art area. You gave me many helpful ideas. I wish you could tidy up my clutter in a day!!! I would gladly go out while you work! I just might beg my organizer to do it all for me!!! :lol: I thought she was coming this Friday, but it is NEXT Friday, the 24th. I have high hopes for our organizing session! Your heat wave sounds awesome to me right now. I am SO ready for Spring!!! I was not aware of your brain injury either (as VermontMom mentioned). I sure hope everything is okay with you! :hug: Please keep us updated on your health. Congratulations on losing another kilo this week!!! That is awesome!!! :carrot:

Trish (lilturtle): I actually have heard of FlyLady. Tried it awhile back, but I couldn't even maintain the shiny sink. :( I was in a really bad place then, though. I did like many of her ideas. I have her book Body Clutter that I may revisit ~ since I am now (once again) attempting to conquer both body and house clutter at the same time. It is related, I think. Thanks for the FlyLady reminder! Good suggestion! ;) HOORAY for looser pants!!! :cb: That must feel great! I hope you are proud of yourself! :D

LawGirl88: I like the idea of a task list from my organizer for between visits. She has done that before and it helped. I talked to my son about meeting the gf at a neutral place and it turns out he isn't in a hurry for us to meet her; he just wants to bring her over to our house, I guess, so they can "hang out." I understand. He has been on me about the clutter for awhile now. Takes after my hubby, who is very patient for a long time and then blows his stack about the clutter every now and then. I just felt a bit ganged up on yesterday regarding the clutter. They have every right to a clean home and, as I mentioned above, my hubby cleaned a bunch of stuff last night. He is more than willing to help, which I do not take for granted. He is a very involved husband and dad, thank God! Hey, 30 minutes of cardio 6 of the last 7 days is AWESOME!!! YAY FOR YOU!!! :broc: I will take this moment to wish you a very Happy Birthday this Thursday!!! :bday2you: I will be thinking of you and hoping you enjoy your day and weekend trip! :) You are a great addition to our group! :hug:

ohiofreespirit: Ouch and yuck on having to get your finger drained again!!! That sure sounds like a nuisance. Hope it heals soon! Glad you are on an antibiotic. CONGRATS on doing so well on the reading and writing portions of your test to get into DeVry. Best of luck to you on the arithmetic part of the test!!! You can do it!!! ;) Please keep us posted!

seabiscuit: It is great to hear from you again. It's been awhile. Good luck with your decision whether or not to get Lap-Band surgery. Please check in whenever possible with updates. We care about you! ;)

Fi: I hope you are okay! Haven't heard from you in a few days. Please post as soon as you get a chance! Sending you hugs! :hug:

Chelsea (CDubsGotGoats): How are things with you?

Thank you all again for taking the time to share your ideas with me about conquering the clutter. You helped me feel like it IS possible, and believing I can do it is half the battle! :)

01-15-2014, 02:36 PM
Hello everyone,

Kathleen - Sorry for the late response... I too am a clutter queen! It took a long time for me to come to terms with throwing a lot of it away. With our recent move I was able to get rid of a lot of it, but there is still more to go since we don't really have the space. I know you can do it!
I think that the most helpful practice I had was to remind myself that I am not the things, and the things are not me. No matter how much I feel connected to them, in the end they are just items and whatever the emotional connection there is, I will have without the physical representation that the item provides. Some stuff still is hanging around though :) It is so wonderful that you have the support and help of your husband in this, and that you were able to clarify with your son the situation better, how relieving! I know I would not have been able to make the progress that I have without my partner. Thank you also for your advice on finding a therapist. I am still looking, but it was very helpful to have some feedback. I feel pointed in a good direction now instead of just floundering.

Holly - Your summer job sounds so nice! I love to bake and cook, it must be so satisfying to be able to be queen of a whole kitchen :) Just keep trying with your eating, every day and every minute are a brand new chance to start making a change.

Fi - Thank you for your advice on finding a therapist. It really put my head in a different and better space about it. I have not had a good history with therapy, so being able to look at it from that perspective has been very healing and I feel like it is doable now, instead of something that is doomed to fail. I hope that you are doing well, and I am sending good healing thoughts and hugs to you!

Lawgirl! Buddies! How great to be able to see someone close to my own goals, a good inspiration to keep on track :D Also, happy birthday tomorrow! My birthday is this month also. Woohoo!

Things with me are mixed. I have been having mixed episodes, and rapid cycling. I have not had my dr appointment yet, but have been reading up and it seems that the antidepressants possibly have been aggravating my ability to level out. Unfortunately my morning nausea has turned back into morning throwing up again. Yuck.
I didn't get the job that I applied for, but have ben able to talk to my partner about our future and what we are going to do when he is finished with school. He has always been against planning too far in advance, so it was a really big step that he was willing to address it, and we made some really good progress and things are looking pretty good.

Sending the best to all of you,

01-15-2014, 04:14 PM
... My pants are starting to feel looser. That's a good sign right?

I say YES that is great!!! :) :) sometimes we just don't feel like eating much and I personally am very grateful for those times :D

01-15-2014, 04:31 PM
Good luck Ohio!

I ate pizza today from Dominos. Not really diet food but I have been doing well otherwise. I'm having some mood swings. I see my doc next week.

01-15-2014, 11:31 PM
Hi everyone.

Thank you all so much for the support. You all are so great. I have a couple more days to study. I am studying fractions right now and not doing too bad. Word problems are a pain and really hard for me.

My finger is healing up finally, I think. It looks pretty good, it's still red but improving. I have been milking it and not getting anything out of it. I am trying my best to do what the Dr told me to do. It's been covered 24/7 to keep it clean.
I'm also soaking it in epsom salts and warm water 3 times a day.

I hope this post finds you all well. I know we all go through our difficulties but being here for each other is so important. I am so lucky to have you all to support me.

Hugs to you all.

01-16-2014, 03:44 PM
Just a quick note to say:


Happy Birthday, LawGirl88!!! :balloons:

Hope you are having a GREAT day!!! :celebrate:

01-16-2014, 05:13 PM
Happy Birthday, LawGirl88!!!! I hope you are having a great day!

I'm trying to hang in there. I'm going to try a scale a friend bought me to see if it works yet. I hope it does but won't be surprised if it doesn't. I have been craving sweets like ice cream. I haven't eaten yet today. (it's after 4pm) I sort of feel like giving up. I have a lot of other things going on that I need to work on and it is overwhelming me at the moment.

01-16-2014, 11:11 PM
Hi there...

I am a bit depressed tonight, I had to have a pet euthanized this morning, I posted about it in Pudgy Pets. This has been a very rough and traumatic day, I am looking forward to getting some sleep.

I will see my therapist tomorrow, I hope that will help.

Take care.


01-17-2014, 08:28 AM
belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Lawgirl88! :) hope it was a good day, or that you can celebrate this weekend.

01-17-2014, 08:33 AM
Seabiscuit - I am so sorry about your little fuzzy girl :( what a shock! You absolutely did everything you could in a bad situation, poor thing. I don't know what to suggest about keeping her cremated remains or scattering back to nature..maybe take time to decide that. You are in our thoughts :hug:

01-17-2014, 10:06 AM
Hi there...

I am a bit depressed tonight, I had to have a pet euthanized this morning, I posted about it in Pudgy Pets. This has been a very rough and traumatic day, I am looking forward to getting some sleep.

I will see my therapist tomorrow, I hope that will help.

Take care.


I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing is more difficult than getting over the loss of a family member. Hang in there and remember the good times!

01-17-2014, 10:09 AM
I worked out Monday and Wednesday morning with my trainer and walked on the treadmill Tuesday evening. Didn't exercise Thursday at all, but plan to do treadmill sometime today. My eating has been okay ~ much better than it had been, but still room for much improvement. So, I have been doing this for about 2 months now and I finally stepped on the scale yesterday morning.............. and................... NOTHING!!! :( It read nearly the exact same # as before I started all of this! :?: I know that I am building lean muscle and that muscle weighs more than fat, etc., but come on! I don't care how healthy I am (well, actually I DO!), 220 is NOT a healthy weight for someone who is 5'4". I NEED that scale to move DOWN!!! I am trusting that it will go down if I keep everything up and improve my eating (and limit night-time eating), but I am afraid that I just can't shed this weight. :( Just venting............ I will be okay and keep on working out and eating better. It would just be nice to see my hard work pay off on the scale at some point. :^:

Chelsea (CDubs): Thank you for your insights about clutter. Very helpful! I am so sorry that you are experiencing morning nausea and vomitting and rapid cycling. That just isn't acceptable. Hope you will see your doc soon and get things resolved. Good that you had a productive talk about your future with your partner.

Trish (lilturtle): Hang in there until you see your doctor next week!!! Please don't give up!!! You matter and so does your health!!! :^: Keep on posting here ~ about ANYTHING ~ and maybe we can help you get through this rough patch. Also, do you journal about your feelings? That often helps me so much when I am feeling overwhelmed. Just write and write and write, without worrying about sentence structure, etc. Just write what is on your mind. It helps to get it out on paper. Then you can throw it away if you want. The process of getting all of the overwhelming thoughts in your mind OUT is what matters. It can be very therapeutic. Sending BIG HUGS your way! :hug:

ohiofreespirit: Ugh, word problems! Hate 'em!!! I hope that you have had a good chance to study as planned and that you feel prepared when you take the arithmetic portion of your test for DeVry. Please let us know how everything goes! I will be thinking of you (and I'll say a prayer for you, too). :) Glad to hear that your finger is finally healing. What a relief! It sounds like you are doing your part to take good care of it. I agree that being here for each other during the hard times is so important. That's why we are called "Ups & Downs." Both times matter and I want everyone to feel free to share both their ups AND downs. We can learn from both. ;)

Amy (seabiscuit): I am so sorry about your beloved hamster! What a horrible experience you endured. :( It sure sounds like the pet store was either not up front with you about Cashmere or they were negligent for not knowing the correct info about her. (I like her name, btw!) I believe you did the humane thing by having her euthanized. Good luck deciding what to do with her ashes. We have always just opted for common cremation. I hope you are able to get some answers to provide you with some resolution and closure regarding her life and death. :hug:

Holly (VermontMom): Thanks for checking in! ;)

LawGirl88: Hope you had a great day yesterday and are enjoying your b-day weekend trip! Please tell us all about it (if you want) when you return! :)

Fi: Where have you been? I am worried about you! Please post when you can! Hope all is well. Sending you hugs! :hug:

01-17-2014, 10:12 AM
LilDazed: Thank you for posting and for supporting seabiscuit! Do you want to share a bit about yourself and your own "Ups and Downs" with weight loss, life in general, and/or life on meds? If so, we are listening/reading. ;)

01-17-2014, 10:25 AM
.. So, I have been doing this for about 2 months now and I finally stepped on the scale yesterday morning.............. and................... NOTHING!!! :( It read nearly the exact same # as before I started all of this! :?:

:( I would be sooooo very frustrated also!! but do ... not ... give ...up! It's gotta show sometime! maybe it will be a big whoosh. Or even a small whoosh :devil: give us any whoosh! You are doing all the work, it WILL pay off.

01-17-2014, 02:44 PM
Amy (seabiscuit): I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost four legged friends too and it is rough. Be gentle with yourself as you grieve. Big hugs to you.

I'm really getting nervous to get on the scale on Tuesday. What if I haven't lost much or anything? I've been trying although sometimes not as hard as I should especially over the holidays. I wish my scale at home worked so I could check in my own private way. I have about 24 lbs to lose before it will work. I am tired of being fat and all the stress that goes with it. I just feel so overwhelmed by the numbers though. It feels like it is going to take forever and I am going to have to be perfect every single day if it is going to work. I am not a very disciplined person. I'm kind of weak. I guess I am just feeling down about my weightloss. There are other things going on in my life. I made some bad life choices over the holidays and I am paying for them now.

01-17-2014, 06:39 PM
I just found something, and it really brightened my day and helped me to think about my weight differently. I can't post links yet, but if you have a second look up A Year Without Mirrors.

"Interesting women lead interesting lives, period, no matter what they look like. "

01-17-2014, 09:24 PM
Thank you, everyone for your thoughtful and compassionate replies. The past few days have been so tough, but I know that Cashmere is resting in peace now. I was so impressed by the emergency vet and their staff. I sent them a gift basket, it should arrive by Friday, and I'll pick up Cashmere's ashes at the end of the week. I think I want to spread her ashes at a local lake. This has been a very tough last few days, the pet store tried to get out of reimbursing me, but I talked to a district manager who said they will give me back the vet bill cost, minus cremation which is about $135. I dread going to the pet store tomorrow to go through this. I won't go back to this pet store again or the local vet, there were a lot of lies and some very untrue parts here.

Take care.


Fiona W
01-18-2014, 10:56 PM
Howdy folks! I just wanted to check in and let y'all know I haven't disappeared. I went through a very rough week in my relationship with my Belgian friend (I'll spare you the gory details), which resulted on my eating some of the evil c-word*, plus a whole jar of peanut butter, plus rather more muesli than I should have for a couple days in a row. But as of today, the storm seems to be over: I fasted until the evening, and then had some smoked turkey for dinner. I feel back on track, and that's a good feeling!

I think I taught myself something: when I'm in a rough place, emotionally speaking, eating the wrong foods does not help me feel better, and ends up making me feel worse because of how much I castigate myself in the aftermath. Why is it that such a blatantly obvious lesson is so difficult for me to learn?

*my evil c-word = cookies

01-20-2014, 09:02 AM
Seabiscuit - what a nice thing for you to do, to send that gift basket! I agree though that it feels right to let people know when they have performed 'above and beyond' and wth compassion. Rest in peace little Cashmere. :angel:

Why is it that such a blatantly obvious lesson is so difficult for me to learn?

I don't know!! I do the same!! Eating a handful of chocolate chips while thinking how much I want to lose 15 pounds?! :rolleyes:

Hi to everyone else :)

I'm doing pretty good mentally, just can't stick to a calorie or carb restricted diet for even one day , ack!!!

01-20-2014, 04:19 PM
I hear you Fiona. It does the same to me.

Tomorrow is weigh in and I am scared. What if I only lost 5 lbs or something? What if it is even less. I tried hard over the holidays but I wasn't perfect. I'm worried about disappointing a person who is supporting me. I don't want to have not done well and they give up. I have been struggling with a lot. I really am doing my best eating wise.

01-20-2014, 06:40 PM
Holly: Thank you for the encouragement! I appreciate it! Unfortunately, I don't think I've worked out since I last wrote and my eating has been poor. :( We were busy all day Saturday and Sunday at my daughter's sled hockey tournament, so ate out and on the go. I didn't always make the best choices. :o I think I might be throwing a little temper tantrum :tantrum: about not losing any weight. Makes a bunch of sense, right..... to eat crappy and NOT work out since I haven't lost weight?!? :dizzy: Yeah, THAT will help! :dizzy: Oh well, I can't go back, so I will start over THIS MOMENT and walk on the treadmill tonight. We just got back from getting my daughter new AFO braces in Cleveland (small road trip) and I also ate an unhealthy lunch on the road. :( I will eat a healthy dinner. Oh, how I hate relapses, but I thank God for the ability to START OVER right where I am!!! I just need to DO IT! :tread: I work out with my trainer in the morning, too, so that will help get me back on board. I just hope I haven't done too much damage over the weekend. :o I can't afford to GAIN any more weight!!! :(

Trish: I am sorry you are so nervous about getting on the scale tomorrow. If you have been doing your best eating-wise, that is all you can do (other than exercise, too). Remember that you cannot control someone else (i.e., the person who has been supporting you). You can only control YOURSELF and your reactions. If the person is a TRUE source of support, they will be there for you through both your ups and your downs (weight and otherwise)! I sure hope that you have a good result, but maybe spend your "time in waiting" preparing your mind for ANY possible result. Ask yourself the questions you posed to us. What if you haven't lost any weight? What if you "only" lost 5 pounds? (I'd kill for 5 pounds right now!!!) Promise yourself that, no matter what, you will continue to try to make positive changes, because it is healthy for your body and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Remember that the goal is PROGRESS and not perfection! We both need to trust that the weight WILL come off sooner or later if we are doing the right things for our bodies!!! ;) Good luck with your weigh-in! Please let us know how things go. I will be thinking of you! BREATHE through your anxiety! HUGS!!! :hug:

Chelsea: I haven't had a chance to check out A Year Without Mirrors, but I will check it out as soon as I finish this post. Glad to hear it brightened your day and anxious to see if it will help me to look at my weight differently, too.

Amy: Hope you are doing okay as you grieve the loss of Cashmere. Nice of you to send the gift basket to the ER vet and staff! Hang in there! :hug:

Fi!!!: I am SO HAPPY to finally hear from you!!! :) So sorry you had a bout with storm eating, but glad to hear that it seems to be over. Get right back on track.....NOW!!! You have been doing so well and I don't want you to sabotage yourself. Easy for me to SAY to someone else, but so difficult to PRACTICE myself! :dizzy: But I know you can do it! ;) Glad the incident taught you a lesson. I know what you mean about these blatantly obvious lessons being so darn DIFFICULT to learn!!! :rollpin: It is frustrating, but each time we learn from our "mistakes" it is PROGRESS and that's what this is all about! HUGS to you, my friend! :hug:

01-20-2014, 09:06 PM
Trish - so sorry you're struggling and feeling so apprehensive about the weigh-in. :hug:

also to Kathleen, go ahead and throw a tantrum girl :tantrum: :D but don't give up!! I want to give up all the time, I say to myself 'oh you don't look that bad' but I also keep foremost in mind my body, my flexibility, my strength to do daily things, being at the mid-point of my life (53) and I have GOT to keep at least trying.

Hey I just absorbed that you're in Ohio; are you in a southern part of Ohio? we have gone to a big biker rally in Chillicothe 4 times, and to this New England chick, you all sound so Southern :D and I love that! Love being called 'baby' by other women; or "miss" or "ma'am" .

Hello :hug: to everyone else here! Have to tell ya that this is the most active I think I've ever seen a Depression forum thread, good job!!!

01-21-2014, 11:54 AM
Well my appointment was cancelled because of the snow so now I get to wait even longer for my weigh in. My last appointment was cancelled too because of weather. I am very frustrated.

Aunty Jam
01-21-2014, 12:46 PM
Hey everyone :) Remember me? There are a few names here that I still recognize.

I'm not sure how often I'll be on, but I'm going to make more of an effort than I have before. I've mentioned that I find this place over whelming sometimes and that's the reason I've distanced myself from it. Honestly I'd love to rejoin the depression form but I've found that I have a hard time not letting negative thoughts influence me. I'm in a really good place... my depressions are mild and short! Mentally I'm a lot stronger and much more positive then I think I have ever been in my life! I don't know if the welbutrin made that much difference or what, but I had an epiphany of sorts and kind of snapped out of it. Odd isn't it? ;) In any case it's great!

01-21-2014, 12:54 PM
Thought I'd go ahead and do a quick vent. I'm getting very anxious about money. Yes, there's more to life than just money, but it's stressing me out on how much things cost. I've lived with my parents since graduating college back in December 2012. A year has passed and I really REALLY want to move out, but after calculating expenses, I'm so nervous about paying for EVERYTHING. I come off my parents' insurance plan in October so I really will be all on my own very soon.

I'm good at saving, but I am only making $10 an hour right now so not too much is being put away.

I know I can always stay at my parents' house longer, but there are things I just can't progress with when I'm there (i.e meeting a guy, leaving whenever I like without an explanation).

01-21-2014, 03:59 PM
I'm here I swear! Reading your posts on my phone but have been crazy busy with no chance to sit down and respond. :) Hoping to check in with everyone tonight!! Thanks for the birthday wishes!!!

01-21-2014, 05:33 PM
Thought I'd go ahead and do a quick vent. I'm getting very anxious about money. Yes, there's more to life than just money, but it's stressing me out on how much things cost. I've lived with my parents since graduating college back in December 2012. A year has passed and I really REALLY want to move out, but after calculating expenses, I'm so nervous about paying for EVERYTHING. I come off my parents' insurance plan in October so I really will be all on my own very soon.

I'm good at saving, but I am only making $10 an hour right now so not too much is being put away.

I know I can always stay at my parents' house longer, but there are things I just can't progress with when I'm there (i.e meeting a guy, leaving whenever I like without an explanation).

:hug: Your story reads very closely to mine. I graduated college in spring 2012 and well I still have the same part time job and had to move back with parents. I haven't dated since I've been back at home and quite frankly, I have a lot of other things like getting a better job and my own place n my mind. Most of all, I feel a lot of interpersonal loneliness which stays a lot on my mind. I don't have much of a consistent emotional support network outside of myself so I'm feeling alone in the struggle but it's when I read posts like yours and everyone else's, I know I'm not truly alone. I feel for your situation. It's perfectly fine to be nervous about moving out and worrying about covering expenses. :) Your day will come when you'll be able to move out and feel confident to provide for yourself.

01-21-2014, 05:50 PM
Good Mornafternoon,

Lil' Turtle: I am sorry that you are struggling right now. I know that your weigh in will be ok. You may(MAY) not have lost as much as you were hoping, but you could have lost more than you think! Every pound is a victory, and every moment is another chance. If someone is supporting you in your efforts to improve and make progress(weight and otherwise), they will see that also. Don't forget to support yourself too, all changes start within. Don't let your frustration take you down, you are much stronger than it is. Kathleen is so right about breathing! Mindful breathing can be so helpful with anxiety and fear or any kind of stress. A simple pattern is: breath in 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds, breathe out 6 seconds, wait 4 seconds, repeat. Remember to pull in with your diaphragm. Breathing into the bottom of your lungs(the belly part) helps to balance the oxygen levels in the blood stream and causes a physiological change in brain chemistry. If it makes you light headed, take a couple of normal breaths between and start over. If it helps you, counting "one" with each breath may help you to focus your thoughts away from the negative and keep you on track. This is a good thing to practice when you are feeling good also, so that if you need to do it when you are feeling bad it will be easier. Anywho, I hope that the weather will calm down and work with you very soon, and I am sending good calm thoughts to you.

Kathleen, Hang in there! You are kicking some major butt and it will show soon. Have patience with yourself, and it will be sooner than you expect that the numbers will start dropping. Staying focused on the process and not the results will help keep your attitude positive! And just think how EXCITING it will be the first time you see that drop on the scale!

Fi: I am sorry to hear about troubles with your friend, and the c-word incident that followed. You are such a strong woman and an inspiration, and every single one of us takes a nosedive sometimes(not just the group, but humanity). I am glad that you are feeling back on track :)

Seabiscuit, Sending you support and healing thoughts and encouragement. Time will help but losing a pet(a friend) is so painful. You are a truly good person and can take comfort knowing that you did everything possible to give Cashmere everything she needed right to the end. I know she would love to be laid to rest near a lake, and it will be nice to be able to go there to remember her. Good for you that you are following up with the pet store, they need to know that it is not ok to treat the animals or the people who are looking to find a furry friend in that manner. Your kindness to the emergency staff will not go unappreciated I know, and your willingness to go above and beyond is a testament to your kind heart. All my best wishes!

LilDazed: It is ok to stay with your parents a little longer! Many times I have wished for that option. It is not ideal forever, I know, but in the interim while you are trying to save a little it is very nice to have a safe place. I had to move out before I was even done with high school, so if it helps to have a different perspective this is a really great opportunity for you to get a good savings base under you before you move out to your own place. At the same time, you could have plenty of money if you follow a budget. It might be a good idea to work out several potential budgets, and see what your realistic options are. Would your parents be amenable to you moving back in later if you had the need, or would they help you out getting started on your own? On another note though, don't let money scare you out of doing what you want! While it plays a part in living, it doesn't control your life and shouldn't hold you back. If you want it there is a way to make it work as long as you are cautious and plan well. How exciting and best of luck!

Well, I had a Dr. appt this morning and it went ok. meds are making some changes, and my doctor is recommending me to the psychiatric program at the clinic, which I haven't been able to get into before since I haven't been enough "at risk" (I have insurance, but use the county clinic since I always have. The programs aren't always roomy). I'm not more at risk now, but my new dr. is really great. The last few days have actually been steady and good, and though I feel it has been a bit to the hypomanic side it has not been detrimental to my health and has in fact helped me to function on a "normal" level; ie, I got through my chores AND some of the stuff on my to do list instead of barely getting through my chores and then going to bed before the sun sets because I am mentally exhausted. In other news, I lost 3 lbs!!!!! What a nice surprise. Even with my boots on, so it could be more but I'm not going to be particular about it. I swear I thought I was gaining(bad eating), but I guess my increased activity level has done more than I thought. I am going to a farming conference in CA this week, and am sooo excited to get some learnin'. I will be attending a couple of different sessions on financing, and one about FLOWERS!!! I love flowers and part of my future business plan involves a greenhouse :)

Anyway, sorry for the novel I guess I am overcompensating for not being on very much.

All my best wishes, good thoughts, and encouragement,

01-21-2014, 09:26 PM
good evening and HI and a huge HI to Aunty Jam!!! :) we're buds from way back. got my new computer tonight and Oh how I miss my good ol' mac book. This is an Asus, I don't even like that name :rofl: too close to ... well you know :D but it's hard to get used to and weird and ugh.

01-21-2014, 11:00 PM
It's great to hear from everyone, thank you all so much for the support.

Hi Aunty Jam!!! :carrot: It's so wonderful to see you here :)

Cubsgotgoats, Aww thank you so much for your lovely heartfelt reply about my little Cashmere. She was a fighter and she tried to bite the emergency vet! I admire that feisty spirit! I miss her tons but I know her soul is in Heaven, I get her ashes back next week. The emergency vets office sent a lovely card to me, it is so sweet and thoughtful. Thank you.

Holly, it's awesome to see you and you are funny! ;). I hope you're doing well.

I'm going to bed. We had a bit of a snowstorm here today, I hope it doesn't ice. I hope to go look at guinea pigs soon!

Good night :)

01-22-2014, 10:58 AM
Hello Support Buddies!

Holly: I am right in Central Ohio, near Columbus. But I do have a southern accent. My hubby was born in Chillicothe. Hope you get used to your new computer soon! ;)

Trish: Can't believe that, after all of your worry, your appointment was cancelled. :( Hang in there! Things will go okay! :hug:

Aunty Jam: :welcome3: to the group!!! Neat that you still recognize some of the people here. Glad to hear that you are doing well. Our group is named Ups & Downs to reflect all of the different places each of us might be at any given moment..... in life, with weight loss, on the scale, and elsewhere! So you are welcome here however you are feeling! I, too, need to focus on staying positive, so we can help each other out! :) :hug:

LilDazed: Vent all you want! We are listening. Yes, there are costs AND advantages to staying with your parents, but it is a blessing that you CAN stay longer if you so choose! So you do have options. Money concerns are such a drag. :( Hang in there and good luck with your decision!

LawGirl88: Thanks for popping in to say hello! Hope you get some down time soon! ;)

letsgetaway: :welcome2: So sorry to hear that you are experiencing loneliness right now. Do you have ANY family members, friends, or acquaintances who could be supportive to you on a consistent basis? Regardless, we are here for you, so please post often and we will support you. :hug: It sounds like you and LilDazed have a lot in common.

Chelsea: Thank you for your support! CONGRATULATIONS on losing 3 pounds!!! That is awesome! :bravo: Glad to hear that you really like your new doctor. Hope you get into the psychiatric program and that it will be helpful to you. Enjoy your conference! :)

Waving hello :wave: to everyone else! Hope all is well! ;)

01-22-2014, 02:53 PM
I'm trying to reschedule today but can't get a live person on the phone. I'm still kind of frustrated but I suppose that is normal.

Thanks so much for the support. It helps reading what others share. We are all in this together.

Aunty Jam
01-23-2014, 04:04 PM
Appreciate the welcome guys :) Nice to see some familiar faces.

I don't have a lot to add right now... I still have bipolar it's just that I feel much more in control of it now instead of it controling me. It's a good place and I hope you all get to experience the feeling on control some day.

(Please please don't take it personally if I don't address you... I find it very over whelming and just can't do it - Haha.. anxiety disorder ;) )

Holy - How are you? Still riding?

Seabusicit - Hi.. I'm so sorry to hear about your pet :( It's never easy however they go.

01-23-2014, 05:18 PM
Checking in for today. Not much new is going on. I still haven't rescheduled my appointment. It is hard to get a live person and I have been playing phone tag. As far as diet goes I guess I am doing ok. I eat one meal a day and one to two snacks of fruit or a granola bar. Ok this is probably not the healthiest but I haven't been overeating this way. I think next month I will make a meal plan and think things out more. I grocery shop once a month and I did a really poor job of it this month.

01-23-2014, 10:12 PM
Hello friends, still getting used to the new computer..I've always only had a Mac so a PC is I just realized I have to get all my email contacts on this and that is a daunting task..I wll try to stop complaining because I'm lucky to get this new sucky computer, haha.

I had my one day off today and it was kinda sucky (I am fixated on that word today) Slept til 9:30, got up and drank 3 cups of coffee and checked email; then went back to bed. Got up at about 11:30, was almost inspired to start doing stuff then crawled back to bed for another 2 hours. I hate myself when I do that. Got up again and this time stayed out of bed. Did a dinky 8 minute warmup and then went out to do errands. I hate wasting my day so bad but was just not able to fight hiding in bed. :(

01-24-2014, 04:46 PM
I'm not having a good day. I didn't sleep hardly at all last night. My stomach hurts. At least I am not eating. My diet is the only thing going right and it is because I am too sick to eat. I hope things get better.

01-24-2014, 11:43 PM
Hello Everyone,

Lots going on with me lately, but nothing I can discuss here. I have a stomach ache today, but not sure if I am getting sick or it's from the wines I drank last evening on my night out. :o Or it could all just be emotional, but I did eat lousy today since I've felt lousy. :( I will attempt to start over again in the morning.

Trish: Sorry you aren't feeling well. Hope you feel better soon! :hug:

Aunty Jam: My bipolar is also under good control with meds and therapy. My negative thinking and baggage from the past are what hold me back most of the time now. And I am extremely weight loss resistant due to the meds I'm on. :( Please don't worry about addressing us personally if it overwhelms you. I am just glad to hear from you! ;) I have a ton of anxiety, too, btw! :dizzy:

Holly: I've had those days too ~ lots of them ~ when I just keep going back to bed. It brings me a lot of shame, but sometimes it just feels so good to hide under the covers and rest! ;)

Fi: How are you? I miss hearing from you!!! :hug:

01-26-2014, 08:11 PM
Hi everyone...

It's nice to see some friendly faces!

On Friday, I adopted a little male guinea pig, he's brown and white, I named him Snickers! He is very cute, sweet and friendly, but a bit shy...

I got upset tonight on the phone with my Mom, I wasn't angry but we were talking about teasing and kids, and I am pretty angry that I was teased so much and went away to boarding school.

I'm going to a concert with a friend on Thursday, it should be fun. I love Lady Antebellum!

Take care...


01-26-2014, 09:42 PM
Hey all :) Kathleen I was sorry to hear that you were not feeling well, did it go away? thank you for the commiserating about hiding in're right that it is shame that I feel about it, and not-nice-feeling about myself. Li'l turtle, how are you? I think that having one meal and a couple snacks is great! (if that works for you) and HI to everyone else :)

I did work out this morning and am so glad I made myself do it. I don't get a high from endorphins but I do a mental pat on my back. I did not eat anything bad at work, also, which is HUGE for me.

Seabiscuit congrats on your new little friend! we had a couple guinea pigs back when we first were married, we took them from a friend who had to give them up. We named them Spot and Fang, lol. They were great watch-dog-pigs!! their tank/cage was by a window and anytime anyone walked by, they would do their whistling thing, very funny.

I am a jerk for not addressing everyone personally, sorry!! very happy that we have this group :)

I am getting used to this computer. and not banging on the keyboard as much as the first couple days :D

have a good night!!

01-27-2014, 04:34 PM
I'm doing ok. It's been kind of slow here. I hope everyone can check in soon. I am trudging along with the diet. I haven't been weighed in two months now so it is hard to know exactly how I am doing. I am keeping to my low calorie diet but probably not in the most healthiest way. I am going to work out a meal plan for next month.

01-27-2014, 06:21 PM
Hi everyone.

It is darned cold here and a lot of snow. I have my car backed in so that I can get out easier but it gets stuck kind of easy with so much snow.

I have been doing some walking DVDs, it is good for me. When warm weather comes around, I'm going to buy a bicycle and pedal my way around this town. LOL

I'm really sorry I haven't been around much. I'm not a very good friend.

01-27-2014, 08:23 PM
Ohio, you stop that talk right now :D YES you are a good friend! you know there are times we don't come here for a few days, that is OK!!! and its nice to see your pic in your avatar! :hug: I always try to back into parking spaces, it came from years ago when I had a crappy car that always needed jumpstarting and it was much easier to be facing out :D Do you have alot of snow?

I saw a really pretty sunset at about 5:05 pm and it was still a little light out! so much better than the cloaking black by 4:30 pm. remember in the summer when it would be bright sunlight still at 7 pm? and even when sun started to set, it was sooo slow, like an hour. Then fireflies, and crickets...oh god I want that!!

OK back to reality :devil:

01-28-2014, 10:26 AM
Well I do have to work today, but I stayed in bed til 9 o'clock!! just because I don't care. I've never been late to work because of my apathy but it's been close.

01-28-2014, 11:07 AM
I dunno what I did, but I'm HUNGRY. =P Thought I had a good-sized enough breakfast. Maybe not? Normally I eat my granola bar at 11:00, but I tore into it at 9:45 this morning.

Might be the anxiety just telling me I'm hungry. I dunno. Had another little meltdown yesterday, but gym and sister made things better.

01-28-2014, 06:00 PM
Not much to report here but I want to keep checking in as a habit. I really wish I could check my weight. I still don't have an appointment yet. It's frustrating not knowing if what I am doing is paying off.

01-28-2014, 10:33 PM
Sorry I was AWOL the past few days. Feeling better. I think my stomach aches lately are due to anxiety. I am really frustrated that my efforts have not paid off on the scale. :( I have been rebelling a bit, which only hurts my efforts to lose weight, I know, but I am mad. :mad: I never quit working out, but my food intake has not been good. :o I keep going back and forth with food. Had a few splurges while throwing my tantrum :tantrum: and the poor food choices tasted good! It just does not seem to be in my chemistry to quit craving the bad stuff. I think I always will, so I must maintain control over my choices as often as possible.

Trish: Happy to see you checking in often! It is always great to hear from you. I hope you get an appointment soon to get weighed, just so you know where you stand. Keep your chin up! A meal plan for February sounds like a great idea! Go for it! ;)

Holly: You had me going with your beautiful description of a summer night! :sunny: I can't wait! My kids have had 2 more school days off (today and tomorrow) due to the extremely cold weather. I am so over the bitter cold!!! :rolleyes: Thanks for being here for lilturtle and ohiofreespirit in my absence. :hug: And, btw, you are NOT a "jerk" when you don't address everyone personally!!! It is just nice to hear from you! :)

Amy: Congrats on your new guinea pig, Snickers!!! I am so happy that you went ahead and got another furry friend, despite your horrible experience with Cashmere. Snickers will bring you lots of joy, I'm sure! :D That's my favorite candy bar, btw! :lol: So sorry to hear that you were teased as a kid and that you got upset when discussing teasing with your mom. :cry: I have ZERO tolerance for mean kids (or adults, for that matter)!!! My daughter is handicapped and I hate the thought of kids teasing her. :devil: So far, it has never been an issue, thank God!!! She is a very tough kid, though. She doesn't let much of what others say get to her like I do. Have you ever talked to anyone (like a therapist) about your experience of being teased? It is such a serious issue. On a happier note, have a blast at your Lady Antebellum concert on Thursday!!! I love them, too! Saw them recently at a local private concert and they were fantastic!!! :D

ohiofreespirit: Yes, it is extremely cold here lately!!! BRRRRR!!!!! Hope you are indoors and staying warm much of the time! I am so ready for spring!!! :sunny: Glad to hear from you! Keep on doing your walking DVDs!!! :exercise: Way to go!!! :carrot:

LilDazed: What happens when you have a meltdown? (Only answer if comfortable doing so.) Sorry to hear you had one, but happy that the gym and your sister helped make things better! Thanks for checking in. I can relate to feeling HUNGRY!!! Some days, I feel that way all day long. It helps if I stay busy.

I am worried about Fi. :( Does anyone have any contact with her outside of this group? I hope she's okay. Haven't heard much at all from her for awhile. :( Sending you BIG HUGS, Fi, if you are reading this!!! :hug: Please check in, if only to say hello!!! :^:

01-28-2014, 11:55 PM
IBelieve Don't try and quit the cravings try and find the healthest ways to meet them. Eliminating things makes it hard to stick with it but if you find small healthy ways to give into your cravings you will feel better. And anxiety defiantly messes with the stomach, hope it gets better soon!!!

LilTurtle You'll get that appt just stay positive!!! How do your clothes fit and how do you feel! That matters too!

VermontChick Omg you have no idea how much I feel you on the loafing around all day and not dragging yourself out of bed till the LAST minute on work days, literally think I made that post. If I'm off I sleep half the day and that feel mad I did that and if I work I wait till I literally have the exact right amount of minutes no extra and then I'll get up! It's so frustrating, but I am learning I suck at working out after work, and if I don't work out I get 10x as anxious so I'm trying to force myself out of bed at a better time.

ohio Can you let us borrow some snow? I want snow! Too bad that DOESN'T happen where I live, like ever! Good job finding ways to work out regardless of the snow, that would be SUPER hard for me.

auntyWELCOME! :) Look forward to getting to know you. Don't worry about not addressing everyone!

As for me I've been busy busy busy, but doing REALLY well with my anxiety and stuff. Well REALLY well compared to where I was two weeks ago. The dosage and new meds is really good and if I work out I'm much much better too! Feeling good and everyone keeps commenting on my weight!

Has anyone noticed that people comment when it starts to stall? Like you lose 20 pounds and maybe one or two people says something, but then you sit at that 20 pound lost for a bit and it seems during THAT time way more people comment!!!!

Looking to start my new job which is much more related to my future field in the next few weeks. :)

Need to go work out since I worked early this morning!


01-29-2014, 01:24 PM
Hello! I have today and tomorrow off; I stayed in bed til 11:30 this morning! but I am going to try not to beat myself up about it. I just slammed down 3 cups of delicious coffee and feel OK to tackle some cleaning in here. Sunny and 16 degrees outside; that is relatively mild compared to the -15 we've been having!

Kathleen - I am so sorry you are (were) frustrated by not seeing recent results despite your efforts. All I can say is, keep on keepin on! It's better than the alternative, which is not trying at all, right? Hey and your daughter sounds like an awesome person! You are right that teasing is a horrible thing. I was teased by my weight from 3rd grade to about 6th grade, and those few years scarred me for life.

Lawgirl - congrats on the new job! and I'm not happy that you also share my bed-loving but glad there is someone who knows what it's like! Yet today, I know I will hustle and get alot done this afternoon. I am SO glad that you say that your dosage is good and that you're even better if you work out...GREAT!!!

Hi AuntyJam :) we are here, you don't need to feel obligated, just know we are all in the same boat and trying to get through.

Lil'turtle, really sorry you havn't gotten your appt. yet. But good that you check in often here :) Must be frustrating not to know if you've made progress but knowing that you are trying, that is what to hold onto.

Ohiospirit, Hi :) glad that you are doing well with the walking dvd's. I am an at-home exerciser, have been for years.
Looking forward to your riding a bicycle in warmer weather! I know I've mentioned it before but I love and you can find their workouts on youtube. Everything from stretching, light cardio, weights, and cah-razy 1000 calorie workouts! :eek:

Hi Li'lDazed - really great that the gym and your sister helped you through :)

HI Amy :) HOw is Snickers? (cute name) and how are you?

Fi - we are missing you and hoping you are okay? :hug:

I am any of you experience such a swing from depression, to okay behavior? not quite manic swings..what I find, is that if I think I am low, depressed, apathetic, no energy, I can continue that mode...but sometimes if I try to force myself to a more upbeat mode, I can salvage the day ..does that mean I am not clinically depressed? does that mean I am just lazy in my thinking or something? I am really glad that I CAN do this sometimes. But I also remember before I was on Wellbutrin, that I truly had suicidal thoughts at the worst, and extreme apathy at the least (I can remember thinking, 'if tomorrow doesn't come, i really dont' care')

01-29-2014, 06:57 PM
Thank you all for the enocuragement. I am hanging in there. I am sick now which is probably good for the diet. It's the flu or some bug. I feel awful. Still no appointment but I am going to buy my own scale on Friday. I need to be able to keep track myself.

01-29-2014, 08:07 PM
Hi there everyone...

Believe- I love lil Snickers, I took him to the vet today and he got a GREAT report :D :carrot: Thanks, I love his name too! Tonight, I held him close to my chest tonight and I think he was a bit scared at first but he seemed to relax. He is such a sweetheart...

Thanks, yes, I have talked with therapists about the teasing although it is still a subject that is sore and I haven't made peace with maybe because my parents were going through their divorce at the time and I blamed myself for that too. I am a much happier person than I was then, so thank God for that!

Holly- Thanks! I love his name because he looks like the colors of a snickers bar, he is brown and white and the brown is the same color as the chocolate or caramel. He is adorable, my new bundle of love!! :)

I am okay, thanks but I am a bit tired. I think I had a bit of a stomach bug yesterday but now I feel better. I am so psyched to go to the concert tomorrow! It should be a lot of fun! I am pursuing the possibility of moving into Philly and I received some listings from a realtor yesterday.

Lil turtle- Feel better :)
Take care everyone, night.

01-29-2014, 09:39 PM
Ok I have Bi-Poler and I'm depressed. I'm on Citalopram (Celexa) and I've been on it for a month. I dont have a doctor (mom is trying to find me one). I dont know what to do. I think I'll call the place where I get my Citalopram (Celexa) from and talk to them. I'm stressed out because my coach is moving away and I'm in the process of trying to a new agency to go to.

01-29-2014, 10:43 PM
Tiffany, the best advice I can give to you is to use skills to get you through until you can get to a Dr. Now don't laugh but these small things can help your depression.
Get outside and walk, even if it is only for 15 minutes. Don't stay trapped inside, make yourself go. Next, start a journal and start writing. Just write, anything at all, even if its your name over and over and over. Sooner or later words will start to come out, your thoughts and feelings will start to come onto the paper. It is important for you to do this. Please take my advice, it really will help your depression.

I hope you get into see a Dr soon and maybe they can up/change your meds. Try to find yourself a good therapist also. You need someone to talk to, to work out your problems. Therapy saved my life and helped make me strong.

01-30-2014, 05:47 PM
Just checking in. Nothing much to report. Still on the sick side. Feeling a bit anxious too. Maybe because of not eating. I am ordering the scale tomorrow on Amazon.

01-31-2014, 09:37 AM
Yesterday was good. Glad I was out of my anxiety funk and it seems to have carried over today too. I woke up feeling refreshed. The B Vitamins seem to really help keep me awake and wanting to do something productive. Not to mention the endorphins from the gym.

Weigh-in day is tomorrow. Crossing my fingers that I've lost at least 2 pounds. We shall see!

01-31-2014, 11:45 AM
Hey everyone - Mind if I join? I see a lot of familiar names.

VT Mom - I can relate to those swings. They're not huge swings, but it's like a mild teeter from 'down/no energy/why do I even both exercising' to 'this is why I do it/feeling better/make myself workout' kinda swing. It's rarely a feeling of "OMG I'm so happy and full of energy!!" Yeah, I can relate.

I'm blaming my current mood on the weather. It's exhausting and I'm tired of the cold and no sunlight. As far as my diet/exercise, I feel like I'm good for a few days, and then I get tired/lazy. I cannot wait for Spring.

01-31-2014, 02:14 PM
Hi Everyone,

I caught up on everyones posts, and I FEEL for you! I am so glad that we can all come here where there are many people who really understand what we are going though.

Trish, it is so nice to see you checking in more often. I am sorry for your upset stomach, are you working on your anxiety at all or taking a med for it? I suffered from the same thing from about ages 15 to 24 until I started taking celexa. I hope that being able to check on your weight at home relieves some of that for you.

Seabiscuit! I am so happy for you about Snickers! My aunts have both had guinea pigs for as long as I can remember, and they are wonderful little guys :D

Kathleen, I am glad that you are feeling a little better, and you have obviously been a wonderful mother since your daughter seems well able to take everything that life throws her way. It's ok to have those moments of rebellion, they can be a great reminder of what you are working for in the first place. Sometimes they end up as more of a slap in the face, but as always every single moment is a new chance to begin again.

Holly, those swings are part of the normal cycle of depression, and bipolar. Everyone experiences a different cycle and it can change when medication is introduced(that is the goal after all!) Wellbutrin has been a help to me in changing the amount of time and the severity of my depression vs. normal time. It doesn't mean that you are lazy!!! It is just what the anti-depressant is supposed to facilitate. I imagine that it is just what "normal" people do automatically, but which we need a little help with and that with practice and the support of the med, will become easier over time. Do you check in with your Dr. regularly about your meds and how they are affecting your moods? He/She can be a good reference point for you, and let you know what is normal or abnormal and what kind of changes to be looking for or looking out for.

LilDazed, I am glad that you are feeling better!

Fi, I hope you are well and you are in my thoughts.

I went to the DR. before I left for the conference last week and had my med levels adjusted. Increased my mood stabilizer, decreased my celexa again. It seems to have helped some but it is soon to tell for sure I guess. I feel pretty functional right now anyway, and more motivated. I have been under the weather, my mood stabilizer makes me sick when the dose is changed, and then I caught a head cold so haven't been exercising very much but I have been managing my food intake a little better, aka not stuffing myself :). unfortunately my nerve issues are not getting any better and have actually gotten worse in my left wrist so its time to go see someone again. Someday I hope to not have to go to so many appointments. I WILL be healthy.
In other news, the geese are laying eggs again like crazy! Yumm! I love this time of year. The days are noticeably longer, and the animals are all becoming more active. Its nice to get home before dark some days :)

All my best to all of you,

01-31-2014, 05:37 PM
I am going to be starting therapy soon. Anxiety is one of many areas I need t work on. I'm starting to feel better. I might eat some real food today. I hope to ave a good, relaxing weekend. Going grocery shopping tomorrow.

01-31-2014, 05:51 PM
Tiffany189 and coffeeshopgirl: :welcome: to our group! Glad you found us. Tomorrow, February 1st, we will begin a new thread, titled Ups & Downs Support Group: February 2014. Please follow us there and post to let us know you found the new thread.

Tiffany189: What sport are you involved in? Sorry about the extra stress about your coach moving away. Have faith! It will all work out for you in the long run. I think the first thing you need to do is find a good, qualified therapist to talk to; one who you trust and feel comfortable opening up to. It helped me immensely. I still touch base with my therapist (12 years later) on a regular basis. There was a time when I went to her twice a week, because I needed it. It was my lifeline. A good therapist can help you with your depression and anxiety about finding a new agency to coach you. You should really have a qualified psychiatrist prescribing your meds as well. I like the tips that ohiofreespirit gave you to use in the meantime. Journaling saved my life as well. As she said, just write anything and everything that comes to your mind. It will help. And, yes, exercise of any kind is supposed to help with depression, too. Best of luck to you as you get things settled. I am happy you posted. We are here for you with our support and advice, but you really need to be under the care of professionals, too, since on meds and depressed. There IS help for you and you deserve to be happy!!! Hang in there! :) :hug:

coffeeshopgirl: Of course we are HAPPY to let you join in the group! I won't even hold it against you that you are from..... :eek: ..... Michigan! :p Sorry, but I am a HUGE Buckeye fan! Couldn't resist! :lol: Our weather has been ridiculous, too, and I am so ready for Spring!!! Love the warm weather! :)

01-31-2014, 06:05 PM
Sorry that I don't have time to reply to everone personally right now, but I want to take this time to remind all of you that tomorrow, February 1st, we will move to a new thread: Ups & Downs Support Group: February 2014. Please make sure that you look for it and post to let us know you made it onto the new thread. I am doing this new monthly thread thing to help keep our group organized and to keep threads from getting out of control with too many pages of posts. Hope it isn't too much of an inconvenience.

I will try to check in later, but I don't know if it will be tonight or on the new thread in the morning. I am reading along and keeping up with everyone as much as possible. Still haven't heard from Fi. :( Hope she will join us again on the new February thread!

Trish: It is so nice to see you posting more often!!! Glad to hear that you are going to start therapy soon. It will change your life for the better! :) :hug: