Weight Loss Support - Freaked out my weight
12-27-2013, 07:42 PM
So as right now I am under 250 lbs (247 to be exact) for the first time in I don't even know when. I'm the smallest I've been since middle school/junior high school (I think). Of course, I am happy about this. However, I'm having a really hard time processing this.
I always looked back at my high photos when I was at my heaviest and wanted to get back to that point because I thought that was when I was at my slimmest. However, after looking at old photos from prom and finding my prom dress (which is three times the size I wear now) I realized I'm smaller than I was then. I'm in uncharted territory and I'm freaking out a bit. I don't know this person. I only have pictures back from high school (I dodged the camera when I was younger like a bandit-I have no pictures from my early teen/adolescent years). I never weighed myself so I can only guess I'm at the weight I was at before I started high school.
Has anyone ever dealt with this? I realize some people aren't no where near my my current weight even at their heaviest and I still have about 50 lbs to go myself. How am I going to feel 50 lbs less from now where I'll be in REALLY uncharted territory?? But have any of you been at a weight you don't even remember and not know how to deal with this "new" identity?
12-27-2013, 08:28 PM
It definitional makes it hard to adjust to any change in weight, gaining or loosing. For me it was the opposite of your situation. I gained so much weight but soo slowly that when i looked at pictures of myself I hardly recognized who I was looking at in the photos...and the mirror for that matter. Friends and family look back at pictures from just 2 years ago and say the same thing "that doesn't even look like you",...having said that I am still in the process of losing weight and it does take time to adjust to the idea that I am a smaller version of who I once was. It really does take some adjusting to.
In your situation i can see myself feeling a bit shocked. Always being on the larger side then losing as much weight as you have then looking at yourself and not recognizing yourself...embrace this !!! This is your chance to be a new you! your taking control of your body. Its scary, its shocking its new but its a wonderful thing. Once you get used to being in your "new skin" you can take steps to getting used to your new figure. go try on new clothes, play around with different outfits you may not have tried on before. For me trying on dresses was an amazing feeling! I was not restricted to plus size stores anymore I could shop almost any store. A change in clothing and acceptance of your new figure helps to bring out a new found confidence. You will start to become more comfortable with how you look and feel..but keep in mind you have to allow yourself to feel this.
You are a new you. Embrace it, love yourself, be proud of yourself! You deserve it!
12-27-2013, 08:48 PM
im at the lowest weight that I've been since at least high school....I was in the low 200s when I was 19 and got pregnant and was 270 by the time he was born...right now i'm somewhere in the 180s although I weigh myself very infrequently...
I never noticed a change in how I looked until one day I realized my face looked WAY slimmer than it used to...and when I look at recent photos I always look skinnier than I feel, which is odd
i'm not sure i'm completely used to it, honestly...it's very weird still....but I haven't let it get to my head enough to make me gain weight back...I try to reassure myself that everything else in my life hasn't changed just because my figure did...and fall back on that familiarity so I don't get too freaked out lol
12-27-2013, 10:05 PM
It takes time, but your brain does usually catch up with your body after maintenance for a few months. I look in the mirror or at pictures and they don't feel strange, finally, after several years of being near the same size.
Until that point, you just have to fake it til you make it and tell yourself the truth - that your body is healthy and real and yours and you deserve it. Eventually you'll believe it, but it's an individual process and it takes time - how much time is totally up in the air.
12-28-2013, 01:28 AM
Like you, I'm 5' 8", and given that my highest weight was 360 our stats are pretty similar. I actually spent most of my adult life around 250-275 and could never stay under that range for long. Twice before when I was much younger I'd managed to get down to the 220's and felt downright skinny there, but could never sustain it. For years I felt that if I could just get down to the 220's again I'd be ecstatic, and knew that anything beyond that would be uncharted territory (I'm unsure of my weight throughout junior high, but do know that I hit 250 when I was 14 as a freshman in high school).
It feels weird for me to be anywhere below 250, and when I reached the 220's for the third time about a year ago I didn't quite know what to do with myself. It wasn't long before I became pregnant though, and I stayed well below 250 when I reached full-term (although my big baby bump felt more like my old, heavier self than an actual pregnancy at times). Now that I've given birth I'm trying to adapt to my smaller body all over again. It's mostly a good thing mind you, but it remains surreal and bizarre to approach a more "normal" weight, despite the fact that I'm still obese. I was so used to always being the biggest person in the room and that's rarely the case anymore. I've often pondered on not knowing how not to be a fat person, if that makes sense. That's been me my whole life and I don't know how to be anything else! But I think it's something that my mind will adapt to as time passes, and it's something that you'll do as well as you continue to lose. :)
12-28-2013, 07:31 AM
I could've written this post word for word so yes, there are many of us out there. When I graduated HS I was 250. My old prom dress swallows me, as well as various other dresses that I had to wear. The best dress that makes me laugh is a dress I had to buy from an online store because nothing at David's Bridal fit me for a wedding I was in.
Watching the numbers and the pant sizes fall is very fun, and yet scary. You really don't know how to recognize yourself even in photos. It is very hard to even process you've lost as much weight as you have. I keep a picture in my wallet, and when someone starts talking weight loss with me, I pull it out and show them. Everyone is always shocked and said, I never would've thought you weighed that much. That's probably the weirdest to hear because I still feel so BIG.
In the end, everyone says we'll catch up. Here's to hoping!
12-28-2013, 09:28 AM
Thanks everyone for responding! Of course, the weight loss makes me happy but I just wasn't expecting the scary, unknown feelings I would feel. I've looked at old photos of myself at my highest and now that I look back I think I weighed a lot more that my "highest" of 345-but I guess I'll never know for sure. Others have also commented that they "never remember me being that big" when they look at old photos. I really don't remember it either.
12-28-2013, 01:57 PM
Honestly, I went to a therapist cause I couldn't grasp the feelings and emotions I was having. I'm not better, but I'm better than I was. It is very weird to not recognize yourself or constantly hear, "I didn't remember you being that big"! It isn't that we aren't happy, we are but we are adjusting to a whole new world.
Everything you've said so far is so touching cause I was/am in the same boat. Please let me know if you want to e-mail when you are feeling overwhelmed. I totally got you.
12-28-2013, 01:59 PM
Thank you Wishfuiiy! It's good to know there are other people out there that feel/have felt the same way.