Weight Loss Support - Sometimes I feel like I've come so far...




thewalrus0
12-27-2013, 01:33 PM
and other times I feel like I'm getting nowhere.

It's not even been six months yet and I definitely don't intend to quit, or even have the urge to, but sometimes I feel like I'm not even close to where I want to be.

:/

It's a bad attitude, I know, and usually I feel great about everything but the last few days I've just felt like I'm still trapped in a fatsuit.

/sigh/

I know it's a lifestyle change and that it can take a long time to lose such a large amount of weight but sometimes I just get so impatient. I know it's improper to think that the end of the weight loss journey is where my life will start because that's not true. My life is now and I'm just lucky to have found a way of eating that actually allows for consistent weight loss but argh I want to feel like I've actually gotten somewhere.

Anyways this is mostly just me whining.

But, I'm also afraid that something is going to just switch in me and this whole six months has going to have been a fluke and I'm going to be back to my old binging ways. Even today I thought, "Maybe today could be a cheat day" and then I realized, I don't want it to be. There's nothing out there that's so tasty that I want to break my plan for it, at least not right now. I've broken plan to eat some sugar cookies and drink and wine and eat some chips, but it's always been during big gathering where I could truly enjoy it. I don't want to break my plan just to eat Doritos in my bedroom alone. I would tell myself I would not feel guilty but I would. I would feel bloated and I would get heartburn and I would feel bad because it wasn't worthwhile.

But still, the initial thought is what scares me. It starts with a 'maybe you could...' and used to escalate from there. I think I can stop it now, where before I couldn't, but it's scary. :(

So, I'm two weeks from being six months on plan and almost 50lbs down and these are the thoughts that have been plaguing me. I'm going to go get some exercise and clear my mind. I hope I don't bum anyone out!


gardenerjoy
12-27-2013, 02:36 PM
First, you are totally awesome to be six months in and 50 pounds down. Give yourself tons of credit and lots of pats on the back for all that you have done to achieve that. It's important to give yourself positive feedback, because that's part of what keeps things going for the long term.

And, yeah, I'm more than 4 years in and reached my goal weight and I still go through phases where I have those old overeating thoughts. The good news is that they are getting less and less frequent over time. The bad news is that I suspect they will never go away entirely. There's still a long past of overeating habits that occasionally get triggered. But I have a large mental tool kit of tips and tricks for dealing with those episodes, now, just as you do. Great job talking yourself out of eating treats alone and dealing with a down mood by exercising!

thewalrus0
12-27-2013, 02:45 PM
Well I've just done some solid exercise and it always gets me thinking.

I realize, it's not my fear of the thoughts about binging that's getting me. It's that I'm having the thoughts about binging because the past couple days I haven't felt good enough. I have felt self-conscious and overweight and just bad at generally everything I do. Now I know that's not true. I do fine at a lot of things and even excel in some areas. I am progressing everyday with things I want to be progressing with and I am excited for my future.

But sometimes the underlying fears get too strong, like what if I finish college and never find a good job? What if I'm not smart enough to finish college? What if I never do X,Y or Z. Just general fears. It's manifesting and becoming thoughts of binging.

Now that I've uncovered that actual fear I don't want to binge. It's really interesting. I'm not generally a negative person so I think it's taken me this long to see that those negative thoughts can get to me even if I'm trying to be positive.

I feel 100% better. :)

Just a little slump I had to push through. Had to remind myself that I'm strong inside and out.


thewalrus0
12-27-2013, 02:47 PM
First, you are totally awesome to be six months in and 50 pounds down. Give yourself tons of credit and lots of pats on the back for all that you have done to achieve that. It's important to give yourself positive feedback, because that's part of what keeps things going for the long term.

And, yeah, I'm more than 4 years in and reached my goal weight and I still go through phases where I have those old overeating thoughts. The good news is that they are getting less and less frequent over time. The bad news is that I suspect they will never go away entirely. There's still a long past of overeating habits that occasionally get triggered. But I have a large mental tool kit of tips and tricks for dealing with those episodes, now, just as you do. Great job talking yourself out of eating treats alone and dealing with a down mood by exercising!

Thank you! It really grounds me when I hear people say that these thoughts are always there, they just become easier to deal with, and it reminds me I'm not doing anything wrong.

jynx
01-05-2014, 06:01 AM
Thewalrus0: I completely get where you're coming from. Literally every time I start a healthy eating plan I am terrified of something switching in me to make me binge and gain everything back. And, actually, with me it's happened every time.

I think you have done so well to keep going for 6 months and the chances are you've manage to form some fairly solid good habits and, from what you have written, you're getting rather good at talking yourself out of those pointless, lonely binges.

So I guess what I'm getting at is "well done" because you're doing better than I feel I could right now. Maybe one day I'll break this cycle too :).

DCJ
01-05-2014, 07:15 AM
Dont forget how hard you have worked - and look at yourself and how much you have accomplished - you can keep at it - you can do it, you don't want all your work to go to waste - keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!

:cheer::cheer2::cheer3::cheer3::cheer::dust:

starbrite
01-05-2014, 07:20 AM
Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your achievements and try not to focus on how far you have to go, rather on how far you've come. Weightloss is such an emotional roller coaster, and needs a great deal of mental focus. Take care of you :hug:

Pattience
01-05-2014, 07:32 AM
Hi there. Are you taking snapshots of yourself along the way. If not, you should do it to remind yourself of how far you've come. Pin the pictures up somewhere you can see them from time to time perhaps.

And you've just reminded me i should do it too because sometimes no matter how thin we get, we still don't realise that we are actually looking pretty good and should be happy with our selves.

If you haven't been taking pics. Start doing it. Do it maybe once a week, wearing the same clothes each time, preferably something your like your bra and undies. You could take just one view of your could a back side and front view if you are really into it.

Later on you can post them all up together or just put one shot up for each month or major milestones. I think its good to keep a record of such things. I usually forget to do it. The fatness pictures are unpleasant to look at but can remind us of what we doing. When you are engaged on a diet and need motivation its good to do this. I should do this tomorrow. You don't have to show them to anyone. I certainly won't be.

pixelllate
01-06-2014, 10:33 AM
I too can get self-critical and get those "maybe i could..." thoughts as well!

Sometimes I say "yes" and most times I say "nah"

Its good that you don't think that the Doritos are worth it! That sort of thought is a powerful tool.

I just try to comfort myself by telling myself that every time I ever gained weight (or even maintained fatness - I was fat pretty much my whole life) it was always a deliberate choice. Weight gain didn't happen TO me - sure it was for good reasons, like growing up in a bad household or facing hard times, but no matter what it was a conscious choice to continuously eat and eat and eat - from healthy and unhealthy foods.

Even if it is something rather addictive, like sugar, its not so bad for me anyways that its to the point of mind control - I can make a choice to say "yes" I can also make a choice to say "no" since I am a relatively independent adult.