Chicks in Control - need to lose weight/binge and overeat but dieting leads to binges




davina
12-18-2013, 01:30 AM
HI.

I just have a bit of a vent to get out. I know all about losing weight, foods to eat but havent not attempted to lose weight for a good 3 years. I'm at my very heaviest ever to the point where I literally felt like I couldn't breathe the other day after carrying two bags over garbage down the block.my back hearts after doing the dishes..you get the idea...Like completely winded I simply need to lose weight now just so I feel I won't drop dead of a heart attack..

I'm suddenly confused now if I overeat or binge, it's like I can't tell anymore..I have had this problem for so long now, being overweight that I just dont know..I was hoping to get some clarification about bingeing as we know dieting leads to bingeing so how to we quit dieting and lose weight? I saw a ED therapist once and she had me eat very regulary on the clock no more than 4 hours apart. I felt this worked but in the back of my mind was losing weight and for BED that is not the goal.....We are not supposed to cut groups out either but I feel like my main compulsion is things like fries,carbs...For example I want to try paleo but this goes against recovering from binge eating disorder...if anyone could share their plans or thoughts I would really appreciate. I've lost weight 3 times before but obviously something's gone wrong every time and I want to do it for good. Also I've never felt more out of control with food than at this moment, like I can't stop and am ALWAYS hungry. I'm creeping to 300 pounds, just 20 pounds away but the scale doesn't matter anymore I am just miserable and don't want to be ashamed of my body anymore.


Jubilee77
12-18-2013, 02:01 AM
Hi Davina,

I'm really new, but what seems to be working for me (so far), is instead of trying to lose weight/diet, I've just been concentrating on not binging. If I feel that I want to binge (which for me is planning a trip to the store to buy chips, soda, candy, cookies; eating most of it alone in the car; throwing away the evidence at a gas station), I have been substituting wholesome foods that I enjoy like peanut butter, apples and milk (and not eating them alone in the car, BTW).:dizzy:

What I'm finding is that as I continue to not give into binging, the feelings that I've been feeding for 30 years are coming up and I'm able to realize/clarify what they are. Of course, I have to figure out what to do with them. For me, I've been able to talk to my husband and pray.

Hope you find a solution that works for you.

:hug:

Valkyrie1
12-18-2013, 02:08 AM
I'm no expert, but. I think that you need a way of eating that includes all of the food groups and is not restrictive if you are recovering from BED. The only restriction I personally believe you might want to consider is to eliminate sugar and flour and processed, simple carbs. They set up a craving cycle that is hard to fight. Of course, with BED, you may want to chose your diet plan or way of eating with the help of an ED therapist. If he or she agrees, eliminating the sugars, flours, and excess carbs can prevent the blood sugar surges and crashes that result in the constant hunger.


davina
12-18-2013, 02:41 AM
"instead of trying to lose weight/diet, I've just been concentrating on not binging. If I feel that I want to binge (which for me is planning a trip to the store to buy chips, soda, candy, cookies; eating most of it alone in the car; throwing away the evidence at a gas station), I have been substituting wholesome foods that I enjoy like peanut butter, apples and milk (and not eating them alone in the car, BTW)"

That's great. I want to try and start with the fast food runs at least. I spend over 150$ per pay period on fast food runs and I eat alone in the car...I don't know what to do with myself without it especially since I work part time and have a lot of spare time. I was told by the therapist once eating is normalized, your weight should also begin to normalize. it's just I've been overweight my entire life and lately it's gotten harder to lose weight for some reason. I feel like I need less calories to drop the amount of weight I need to lose, around 80-100 or so pounds, drastic calorie cutting is necessary in my opinion :/

I guess always feeling hungry even if not technically "dieting" is normal when calories are so drastically reduced?

thank you both for your replies.

Changergirl
12-18-2013, 04:56 AM
While I've never officially been diagnosed with BED, I definitely have struggled with it in the past and even though I've been on my 'new lifestyle' for over a year now, it is still something that I struggle with.

There's a couple things that I found worked for me this go around that I didn't do in the past which often led to more and more binges. This go around I didn't drastically cut my calories. Meaning I didn't try to eat only 1200 calories. I lost about 35 pounds in 6 months eating at about 1650 calories. There were definitely days when that wasn't enough and I did eat more than that on occasion (probably once every other week). But for the most part 1650 worked for it.

Eating at higher calories also allowed me to have foods that I had previously cut out in past diet attempts. My biggest weaknesses being chocolate and ice cream. Probably once or even twice a month I'd buy a pretty substantial size chocolate bar and I'd weigh it out into proper portions. At first it was hard to stop there. I easily could have eaten the whole bar in the past in 3 minutes but instead I was eating it over 5 days. There were days and still are that that one serving isn't enough and I have gone back for seconds, but it is still much better than the past. I also try to keep food that I can't help myself but go back for seconds out of the house. If I want chips, I'll buy a snack size and therefore I can't eat a giant bag in one go.

As for fast food, I'm really luck because that would have been an issue in the past. But I currently live in a tiny town in Korea where there's one fast food option and it isn't very good. Up until this weekend I hadn't had fast food in over 6 months. Maybe you can try cooking your meals and bringing them with your. Not only will that take up time you're not thinking about eating, but you can make a ton of healthy foods that you enjoy. It'll probably be cheaper than your fast food habit and you can use your savings to buy something, not food related!

Oh and one last thing, write down what you eat and be completely honest. It'll help you stay accountable. You can do it publicly, I use MFP or just write it in a journal if you want it to be private.

bargoo
12-18-2013, 07:31 AM
Don't have binge foods in the house.

Mrs Snark
12-18-2013, 07:35 AM
There isn't anything wrong with cutting out foods (and groups of foods) that do nothing but harm you and cause you to suffer with binging.

I can't imagine my doctor telling me that I was somehow wrong to replace ice cream with fruit.

Wean yourself off the foods that make you binge for a good long time and get out from under the compulsion to binge. You can always add those foods back later if you find you have that sort of control (I don't).

QuilterInVA
12-18-2013, 09:52 AM
It's a proven scientific fact that the more carbs you eat the move you will crave them and binge. There is nothing wrong with not eating fast food, fried foods, desserts but replacing them with healthier choices. Weight loss is a choice. You either choose to do what supports your goals or you choose to ignore what you need to do to feed yourself damaging food.

freelancemomma
12-18-2013, 10:12 AM
I don't know what to do with myself without it especially since I work part time and have a lot of spare time.

Perhaps you can develop a new hobby, like a craft, or a pursuit like learning a new language or musical instrument. I agree you need something to replace the eating.

<<I guess always feeling hungry even if not technically "dieting" is normal when calories are so drastically reduced?>>

Well, if you're drastically reducing calories, you're dieting. And yes, feeling hungry is normal when cutting calories. To minimize the feeling, don't eat too little (at your weight I would suggest no fewer than 1,500 cals per day) and include a lot of high-bulk, high-fibre foods in your diet. Many people also find protein more filling than carbs, calorie for calorie, though I myself haven't noticed a difference.

F.

pixelllate
12-18-2013, 12:53 PM
I consider any method - whether it is going on Weight Watchers, some ultra extreme plan or incorporating some sort of lifestyle with intent to be at a lower weight to be some form of dieting - just different degrees of it. I have done it all, and binged - it had nothing to do with how severe or lax my diet was. I never "relapsed" from any extreme diet.

I don't know any sort of ultimate solution, but what helped me was improving areas in my life -
1.) TIME. Too much spare time is a dangerous thing for me. Although I no longer compulsively eat the hours away, I do get very frustrated if I don't get out of the house! Growing up, the only thing that I was ever allowed to do was eat, so my instinct goes towards food. I am relearning how to spend my days.

2.) OVERALL MISERY - I rarely speak to my emotionally abusive family and I also have a better job. I still have life stressors - such as money, but I definitely have fewer issues to focus on and greater security ----> more focus on other areas. Like critically thinking about how I spend my days.

3.) CLICK/FEELING READY - I don't know - it wasn't a loud click like a BANG! that i would get before I got really into weight loss. It was just like a very general inner decision that I would do whatever it is that I wanted to do - diet, exercise, hobbies, anything and commit to it whenever I feel ready (external and mysterious internal readyness)

4.) PHYSICAL - Lifting betters my mood. Diet helped with cravings, but just FYI, I still went after them when I didn't take care of 1/2/3 - I go after carbs after going low-carb if I am sad about life - I NEVER crave the carbs first - I feel sad and I know that carbs will help me overeat so I go after them and don't find them tasty at first - the carbs TURN ON my cravings gradually.

What helps me as well is telling myself "Really?! My ancestors, or even my grandparents did not eat Twinkies. They will likely die without ever eating a Honeybun. How is it that I am somehow doing myself a disservice by deciding No to these things forever?" Not that I have or haven't, but even if I did restrict those things forever, it really isn't the end of the world. I just think about dying the next day without ever having a slice of cake ever again, and it doesn't feel so bad, and makes saying "No thanks" way easier.

I also tell myself "I will most likely die without having a Chanel handbag, doesn't make me want to spend my meager savings on 4 of them. Why should I do this with these foods? Foods that in some cases, were highly engineered to make me want them more and more and my not-much-evolved-from-ancestors human body is sensitive to?"

magical
12-18-2013, 03:58 PM
I echo what others have said on this thread, but wanted to emphasize this fact:

Weight loss is a choice. You either choose to do what supports your goals or you choose to ignore what you need to do to feed yourself damaging food.

Dieting is hard work and yes, I too consider that anytime we watch what we eat and when we eat, falls within the definition of "dieting" no matter whether or not we restrict the types of food we eat. You know it's not easy so it's really a choice that you need to make.

If you have some form of BED, that makes dieting worse because you need to cure the BED before you can really focus on your diet. There are many ways to stop bingeing - some do not keep trigger foods in the house and eat them only outside, others use moderation as a form of control and yet others stay away from trigger foods altogether, while the rest follow a particular diet plan. It really is something you need to experiment with and it may be months and years before you can successfully eliminate bingeing in your life.

Most important thing is to start taking control. If necessary, be accountable to an outside source (e.g. nutritionist) or check yourself into a stay-in weight loss center.

I've never really experienced the "always feeling hungry" thing and perhaps the first step to weight control for good is to find out why you are having this feeling and take steps to resolve this.

tommy
12-18-2013, 05:41 PM
In my long weight control struggles I have been the anorexic, the binger, the secret eater who looks like she eats next to nothing unless you knew what she secretly scarfed. I have felt at times that I would explode if the idiots around me did not let me sneak off and eat.

Today I just do not eat certain foods. I have said this elsewhere but it bears repeating. I know that one cookie is never enough. In work situations where others bring sweets in I do not even stay around. At parties I do not go near the dessert table. the compulsion is gone, but why tempt fate. I eat well with very few "processed" items. Yes I make bread from plain old white flour, but it no longer takes possession of my mind & will.

The always hungry or constantly eating thing starts to creep in if I am working from home and avoiding a task. Suddenly I am in the kitchen just browsing... When I notice that I get out and walk, or write, or allow myself some blog browsing. I also tossed out the common concept of diet. I may watch what I eat, but the way I eat everyday is the way I need to eat to maintain my weight in a healthy place forever. There is no magic pill or food combination. Our bodies are all a bit different. Refined carbs are not my friend so I say (out loud) that I can't eat them. Some folks think I am diabetic an that is ok - stops the "oh just taste it" or "you are so good". No, I had to save my life!

Feeling hungry is normal. Learning to embrace that you are hungry and have a great meal or snack planned for mealtime is normal. Cutting calories and binge/massive overeating are not. It takes a while to get used to but it can happen for you.

davina
12-18-2013, 06:48 PM
These replies have been so helpful with so many great tips. Thank you so much and I enjoy reading what you all are doing.

I should maybe clarify by food groups I don't necessarily mean the junk/refined stuff only..I usually eat whole grain nutty breads and actually prefer them, but I wonder if eating that and even stuff like quinoa which I also like leads to the bingeing in my particular situation. It's been my whole life I've lost faith I can do it on my own ..So much so that I had my doctor refer me for bariatric surgery consultation. These next few months/year are kind of like a last gasp for me to try one more time before resorting to something so extreme,I hope something can click.

pixelllate
12-19-2013, 01:32 PM
These replies have been so helpful with so many great tips. Thank you so much and I enjoy reading what you all are doing.

I should maybe clarify by food groups I don't necessarily mean the junk/refined stuff only..I usually eat whole grain nutty breads and actually prefer them, but I wonder if eating that and even stuff like quinoa which I also like leads to the bingeing in my particular situation. It's been my whole life I've lost faith I can do it on my own ..So much so that I had my doctor refer me for bariatric surgery consultation. These next few months/year are kind of like a last gasp for me to try one more time before resorting to something so extreme,I hope something can click.

I've binged on whole wheat bread for years. WAY more than white bread. Another time it was "really good for you style" plain oatmeal.

davina
12-19-2013, 06:59 PM
"I've binged on whole wheat bread for years. WAY more than white bread. Another time it was "really good for you style" plain oatmeal."

Have you removed all bread/ non veg carbs from your diet?
To be honest If hungry I've binged on roasted vegetables, even cabbage soup in the past lol

pixelllate
12-20-2013, 11:41 AM
Davina, somewhat. While bread items cause a physical craving in me, its pretty easy for me to not binge on them if I have some for 1 meal or something. Its emotion that makes me start and KEEP eating them cause I need something to pass the hours of misery (went thru some big things). I too have binged on anything/everything -

Bread + sadness = physical and emotional cravings to keep eating
Veggies + sadness = just emotional cravings to keep eating

Both resulted in gains.

My life has improved though, so I rarely eat bread because its just not that tasty. There's no point in going after a food that doesn't do it for me taste-wise and causes instinctual cravings. I'm cool with moderation when I am in this mental stage, because otherwise, when I say "oh I want it in moderation" I secretly think "great - this is a way for me to get my FIX in steady, small amounts" like an IV dripping carb cravings in my bloodstream...rather than an all-out binge-fest (neither of those things sound good).

Basically, I just cut out what i craved (grain carbs) and took care of my life issues, and the rest fell into place. "i dont want to want it anymore" ---> no real sense of deprivation