100 lb. Club - I just feel like I can't do this.

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I miss me
12-13-2013, 11:14 PM
I'm having the hardest time. I did Atkins for 3 months and lost 55 pounds, my gallbladder failed and I had to get it out. I couldn't eat like I did before, now that my body has found a good place I can eat again but falling off the wagon I just can't seem to get back on and am eating very badly. . I just don't know what to eat.. It's not that I love to eat, I love the taste of food and I always feel like I have to give that up if I want to be thin. Plus I have a husband and 4yr old that won't eat most of what I cook. I'm at a loss and eat way to much when I do eat. I have PCOS. And we want another child, it was hard enough to get this one. .. im all over the place I do apologies

12-14-2013, 04:04 AM
You can do this! Just focus on baby steps. One little change, one little choice, one more step. The secret for me isn't thinking about what I have to give up, but what choice can I make that's better. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I don't, but the better choices will slowly out number the bad.

Hang in there. There's tons of support here to help you along the way.

12-14-2013, 04:18 AM
I echo ShelBl's post. It's about making little changes, ones that are challenging and achievable. If it doesn't work out the first, second or third time, there is always a fourth chance to achieve your goal :)

If it helps at all, there are some threads where you can vent and get everything out. I did it recently for a friendship break up that had me binging and I felt so much better :)

judgement-free-whining-zone (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/276038-judgement-free-whining-zone.html)
dear-whoever-letters-you-wish-you-could-send (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/286419-dear-whoever-letters-you-wish-you-could-send.html) <--- this one helped me the most! I wrote a letter to my body, too :D

12-14-2013, 05:02 AM
I felt this. I was exactly where you are now and I failed. I posted it about a year ago after I lost over 40 pounds. I fell of the wagon and I've gained 30 pounds. My bad day turned into a bad week, then a bad month and then a bad year. 30 pounds later I'm feeling like crap but I'm back on track and working hard. Don't give up, that weight that you lost will start creeping back up. Please don't make the same mistake like I did. I promise you it is worth it!!!! Get on track and work hard!!! You can do it!

Go and read this post http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/253008-40-pounds-down-now-i-feel-down.html

12-14-2013, 06:51 AM
You and I have different journeys, but I can definitely empathize with the feelings of not being quite sure what to do, being overwhelmed with everything and feelings of losing control. I also echo the thoughts about taking baby steps.

Take a deep breath. Actually, take four deep breaths. That puts your body in a more relaxed state. Then try to focus on one thing at a time and preferably something that you can actually take action on right this minute. If it's something that you can't do anything about right now, then write it down and think about it later. Try to give your energy only to things that you can control, otherwise you're wasting your energy and feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Changing the way you think and experience things and handle stressful situations doesn't happen overnight, but try to pay attention to it. The serenity that can be achieved is really wonderful.

You don't have to give up good food to be thin. You may need to regulate the amount and timing, but you don't have to give up good food. I'm reading this book right now (OK, I'm reading a ton of books right now, so I'm not sure when I'll finish this one) called The Skinny, Sexy Mind: The Ultimate French Secret by Trish Blackwell. The title is really stupid, but the book is quite interesting. The author didn't battle with weight as such, but she did clearly suffer from an eating disorder. When she lived in France for a year, her attitude towards her own body and food and life in general changed. Reading about her discoveries is kind of sobering. Our relationship with food is very intimate and how we approach it tells quite a lot about our inner struggles or serenity. If you love food, then that's wonderful! Love it and focus on quality over quantity. Your husband and child will have their own relationships with food, which is out of your control. Though I actually just watched this little info thingie on TV that said that children need about 20 times to taste a new food before it becomes familiar to them and they become more accepting of it. I suppose that might work on husbands as well ;-)

Anyway, I think the gallbladder removal affects on how your body can digest fats? There are some enzymes you can take to help in that. You can still be on a low carb diet with quality protein and lots of veggies. You can also cycle carbs, which is what I intend to do: eating low fat carbs after exercising or once per week and eating low carb with moderate fat at other times. You don't have eat the same things every day for the rest of your life. Relax and experiment and remember that even if you choose to have less food right now, the food isn't going to go anywhere and there will be more available later.

This was slightly sporadic :-) But it all came from the heart! You can accomplish much more than you realize. Just don't try to process everything at once.

12-14-2013, 11:44 AM
You can do this! One day at a time!

12-14-2013, 12:12 PM
I get it. It is really hard, especially getting started. Like you, I love the taste of stuff that isn't good for me. If I could be healthy and skinny, I'd probably eat candy, baked goods, pizzas and bags of chips for most meals. Plus mac and cheese. But what I have found is 1) you have to find your motivation and REMEMBER it on a minute-by-minute basis (you could do this by taping a photo of a baby on your fridge, or wearing a bracelet with some baby-symbol on it, to remind you what you REALLY want), and 2) you have to change your taste buds. That sounds hard but can be done. If you get off the unhealthy foods long enough, stop using salt, stop eating sweets and make yourself eat whole natural foods like fruit, veggies, fish, chicken, then your taste buds adjust and I have found when I do that I truly enjoy eating those things. It takes a few weeks in my experience but once it is done, you can be happy and look forward to the healthy foods because they will taste great. Of course, you have to keep it up. For me, if I take a day and eat cake or chips then I start wanting them again. Lifelong change is important.

Hang in there. You can do this.

I miss me
12-14-2013, 04:02 PM
Thank you everyone! Lots of good stuff to think about!

I miss me
12-14-2013, 04:03 PM
Thank you everyone! Lots of good stuff to think about

12-14-2013, 10:19 PM
I don't have much to add to the excellent advice that you received above. I just want to tell you that you can do this. As long as you don't give up, you will find what works for you. It takes experimenting.

12-15-2013, 07:13 PM
Even now, years after losing a ton, I STILLLLL love the taste of crap lol I'm so jealous of people who say they hate it and only crave salad, not me!

I'd eat ice cream with whipped cream and chunks of fudge in it for breakfast if I could LOL

It sucks that I can't but it sucks that I can't afford a Mercedes either. Lots of things suck, but I can live with it

I guess I put things into black and white terms -- losing weight is tedious and boring sometimes, it's time consuming, it's a drag. Being super fat is hard, it hurts your joints, prevents you from doing certain things, can shorten your lifespan significantly, or at the very least, make the last 10 years of your life miserable.

So, I guess I just make choices every day as to WHAT hard thing I want to deal with. Not eating allll the cheesecake instead of a little bite, it's hard. It's not "walking 10 miles to get water in my bare feet" hard, but it seems hard. But I know the alternative is harder, and that makes it easier to make a good choice.

Hang in there, the alternative is even more grim than the pain in the a$$ of getting started, keeping your head down and barrelling thru.