Living Maintenance - Can I just join you guys? Not quite an intro post, but more of a beg!




Arctic Mama
12-05-2013, 11:14 AM
Because, quite frankly, no other parts of the forum fit me well anymore!

Most of you know me, but just in case - I'm Taryl, 27 year old wife and mom of four (currently, we're thinking of trying for #5 :D). I began at 257 pounds, though my high weight was in the 270's, and I've been working at losing weight for five years now. After multiple years of staying in the same weight range or losing little bits more, can I actually call myself a maintainer, even though I keep moving my own goalposts further out?

I think I just need some permission to feel like I've arrived, because part of my brain tells me I don't belong on here since I haven't declared myself done yet. I made my original goal of 160, bounced around, went lower, bounced, and am still picking at ultimately losing another ten or twenty pounds. And yet, unless I'm going at it hardcore I maintain my weight and have since, well, 2012 at least.

I know most of you and think I need a familiar group - does anyone else just get demoralized and tired of watching newbies try and give up and try again and give up, feeling like they're giving the same advice day after day and maybe three people out of dozens actually listen?

Because that's me, right now.

Can I actually call myself a maintainer? Is it okay? It sounds so silly but I've been terribly resistant to the idea of joining 'successful' losers, because I don't think I qualify. This may be the last remnant of warped mindset I'm clinging to relating to diet and exercise - a phobia of actually joining the fold of others who are at the same spot as me :lol: But given that I'm just TIRED of the carousel of those who haven't yet committed to this for life, this forum might just need to be my new little shelter on 3FC. Most days I just avoid visiting because it's so disheartening to watch others struggle in the dark, and see so many folks I've encouraged or enjoyed speaking with over the years disappear and relapse. It's depressing some days!

That's my rambling introduction and plea - I think I need validation that it's okay to label myself, with big and officious looking text,
A Maintainer.

How hilarious lame of me :o


JayZeeJay
12-05-2013, 11:39 AM
Hi MAINTAINER!!!

Glad to meet you, I've seen some of your posts on other threads.

If declaring yourself "done" with weight loss is the criterion for being a maintainer, then I don't qualify. I suspect others might not either. What I CAN say is that I'm committed to this healthier lifestyle for the rest of my life, and that is what I intend to maintain.

Shannon in ATL
12-05-2013, 11:52 AM
Of course you can call yourself a maintainer, honey. Absolutely. Look at the progress you've made! Someone told me once that if you lose one pound and keep it off you are a maintainer. Well, you've lost 100! Come on in, the waters fine. :)

I don't visit many other areas of the forum anymore, and when I do I often feel like I'm seeing the same thing over and over or get told I'm too harsh when I talk about still counting calories five years after reaching goal. I know how you feel about the burnout.

Hang out with us. We often talk about the same things as in the other forums, but we talk about them from a different perspective I believe.

Like JayZee, I'm not done with weight loss, but I am committed to maintaining my healthier lifestyle, sometimes in spite of myself. :)


kisskiss
12-05-2013, 11:56 AM
Hi Taryl,
I was also a little scared to call myself a maintainer. I'm just like you in the sense that I kept lowering my goal weight (at one point it was 175). Even now, I'm still unsure of whether I want to keep going for 5-10 more pounds. I definitely want to be as healthy as possible. I also finally posted in the maintainers forum a couple of days ago and it was a relief. It's a big step, but welcome, fellow Maintainer :D

ICUwishing
12-05-2013, 12:21 PM
Welcome aboard, Taryl! I just say I've maintained a loss of 20 out of the 25 pounds. Some of us need or want occasionally to lose a couple more; we've got a thread for that (see the "5 or 10" threads). It'll be great to have your perspective here - I have very much enjoyed a lot of your no-nonsense posts!

krampus
12-05-2013, 12:23 PM
I was wondering when you'd make the move ;)

I truly believe that 95% of dieters know what they have to do (eat balanced meals including vegetables and not overeat, get some exercise) to lose weight well before joining the site. What we say falls on deaf ears until they decide of their own accord to put it all into action.

traveling michele
12-05-2013, 02:00 PM
Welcome!! Glad you've made the plunge and joined us. We don't bite!!

Mrs Snark
12-05-2013, 02:09 PM
You are definitely a maintainer, the big print says so!

I agree that after a long time on the forums it can be disheartening and draining sometimes, instead of uplifting and supportive. Getting to really know a smaller group of people and focusing on them is definitely helpful for me!

Congratulations on all your success!

silverbirch
12-05-2013, 04:56 PM
:welcome3: It'll be good to get to know you.

newleaf123
12-05-2013, 04:59 PM
Ha! If I can pass for a maintainer, you surely can... Welcome! I've missed your posts lately :)

bargoo
12-05-2013, 05:20 PM
Welcome maintainer !!!!

Arctic Mama
12-05-2013, 06:03 PM
Thank you everyone! Nice to know I can 'pass' as one and still be working on a few pounds (or not, it really depends on the mood I'm in if I have the mojo to work at losing or just maintain).

I'm looking forward to getting cozy and it is nice to see so many familiar faces :)

saraphin
12-05-2013, 06:25 PM
hello , can i join you people please? i am new here too.

my name is michele. i am 55 yo .i am married and i have pets - 3 dogs and a cat. 2 years ago i had to have brain surgery for a tumor. it was horrible.

i still have some motor issues and pain. my mem,ory is not brilliant but i think that is because of the med's

i also am hypo-thyroid. and i have arthritis. lucky me. nerve pain is one big issue.

and chronic fatigue. i wish i could do without thew long long sleeps i have. i only get a couple of hours a day to do anything.

so i'm also typing with one finger!

but on the pluys side i've lost over 14 kilo's and i feel quite good being smaller. i use OPTIFAST. it has worked for me but i'm scared of the futurw. i don't want to put it all back on again.

i'm thinking of paleo, whatever that involes. also definitely low-carb. carb's definitely add weight for me.

what about ytou people? do you have a problem with carb's?

best wishes. someone please write back to me…i'm desp[erate for friends. my husband is gorgewous but he NEVER talks! haha. true. the strong silent type. lol

here's my ticker so far…

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar-chicks/chick01/lb/100/58/85.4/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

saraphin
12-05-2013, 06:29 PM
:dizzy:ps the ticker should read kilo's lost, not pounds. i don't know what the problem is. i hope someone else operates in kilo's. people from america and canada are using pounds, that's ok…i can convert…

Arctic Mama
12-05-2013, 06:34 PM
Welcome sweetie :)

Congratulations on surviving a brain tumor. Wow! And way to go on the weight lost thus far. I do low carb, yes, and pretty much by the book (the one I use, anyway). Just pick a plan and stick with it, through maintenance. Resist the urge to tweak unless it is truly necessary, until you've got a good feel and rhythm for your daily habits. Some people do just fine with calorie counting, but I find it much more effortless to watch my carbs as well, and keep my foods as simple as possible.

You'll find a lot of resources on this site to help and support. Browse around the various subforums and see what others have done. While food tracking every day on Atkins 2002 has worked the best for me, with the least trade offs and strife, that is not the case for other losers. You really have to know yourself and what works for your life and body, what you're willing to give up on and where you won't budge. That differs for each person, and half the journey can be finding out what works best for you. The rest is just determination and a refusal to ever give up. Commit to that, and you're well on your way.

saraphin
12-05-2013, 06:46 PM
:dizzy::dizzy::dizzy:

hi taryl. you must be on the net now too. it's 10.15 am here friday, in adelaide, south aust. what time is it in the arctic? where are you exactly? i'm looking forward to more exchanges thanx for replying to me.

i imagine our weather is a bit nicer atm. hehe we have cool springtime happening with summer threatewning to hit us any day now.i know it's winter where you are. what is it doing now?

:dizzy::dizzy::dizzy:

Mudpie
12-05-2013, 07:25 PM
:welcome: to everyone new. I am STILL (after 4 years here) sometimes struggling to "lose a few more". You guys can definitely call yourselves maintainers if you are still also doing this.

Dagmar :coolsnow:

Megan1982
12-05-2013, 09:32 PM
Welcome Taryl. After, um, 8 (geez, 8? really?) years of "maintaining"ish I still feel like I'm just passing for a relatively normal bodied, sorta normal weight person every day of my life. You're definitely welcome to join us! I understand what you mean. Feeling like I was doling out the same advice and seeing a lot of college ladies come and go in the blink of an eye is what pushed me out of the 20's forum long ago. Please join us!

And hi again Saraphin! I do eat some carbs but try to stick to whole grain carbs. Simple carbs like those found in cookies, white bread etc just seem to make me want more cookies, white bread, etc. I'm never satisfied so I try not to have the first one. A sweet potato or some brown rice I can handle. Come over to the weekly chat and join the conversation, both of you. :D

paperclippy
12-06-2013, 08:19 AM
Welcome! You are a maintainer even if you're still working on a few pounds! Someone (I forget who) once described maintenance as "yo-yo dieting on a very short string." :lol: There are always ups and downs in life and in weight maintenance. I've been a maintainer for eight years and right now I'm up 30lbs because I had twins and haven't lost the extra pregnancy weight yet. I still count myself a maintainer.

saef
12-06-2013, 11:55 AM
Welcome, Taryl.

Maybe the newbies nodded eagerly at your advice and then didn't follow it, but there were others in the audience who silently agreed and enjoyed your post.

Like me.

Glad to see you showing up here.

Arctic Mama
12-06-2013, 12:53 PM
I'm glad I qualify. Saying it out loud just underlined how ridiculous this whole thing has been in my head, but I'm glad I got it out there!

Paperclippy - I hear you on baby weight! I get it off as fast as possible each time because I know if I don't it won't improve by the next child. Thankfully I've lost it all within three months the last two children, and was varying stages of morbidly obese for my first two. Whenever we have our next child I plan on enacting the same post-baby diet, because it worked so well this last time. Singletons are different than twins, though - the first year in your home is survival, whereas newborns/infants are honestly pretty simple for me at this point and easy to work with for getting adequate nutrition and exercise (so long as I don't make a bunch of excuses :o ).

saraphin
12-06-2013, 06:29 PM
Welcome sweetie :)

Congratulations on surviving a brain tumor. Wow! And way to go on the weight lost thus far. I do low carb, yes, and pretty much by the book (the one I use, anyway). Just pick a plan and stick with it, through maintenance. Resist the urge to tweak unless it is truly necessary, until you've got a good feel and rhythm for your daily habits. Some people do just fine with calorie counting, but I find it much more effortless to watch my carbs as well, and keep my foods as simple as possible.

You'll find a lot of resources on this site to help and support. Browse around the various subforums and see what others have done. While food tracking every day on Atkins 2002 has worked the best for me, with the least trade offs and strife, that is not the case for other losers. You really have to know yourself and what works for your life and body, what you're willing to give up on and where you won't budge. That differs for each person, and half the journey can be finding out what works best for you. The rest is just determination and a refusal to ever give up. Commit to that, and you're well on your way.

yes, definitely. thanx for that little piece of advice. i need all the help i can get. and i will remember your words. :-) :dizzy::dizzy::dizzy: