Chicks in Control - Binge Free and Overeating Free in December




thesame7lbs
12-02-2013, 09:40 PM
Hi Everyone,

I didn't see a new thread for December so I figured I'd start one. This thread is for anyone looking for support to end, limit, or understand overeating and binge-eating behavior. All are welcome!


thesame7lbs
12-02-2013, 09:44 PM
Hello everyone!

I hope everyone had a great weekend and a tolerable Monday. :) I returned home after a week at my in-laws. After eating relatively well all week, I launched into a weekend of moderate binging. I know it is in response to the stress of being in someone else's home and not having control of my food/schedule/freaking room temperature, etc, all week (especially, of course, my food). Today I am back on track and feeling rather serene (though 4 lbs heavier than when I left :o)

missunshine
12-03-2013, 07:31 AM
i'm restarting my binge free and weight loss journey today. at the end of the month i'm returning home for holidays and i don't wan't my family to see how much i've balooned up in one month. i've had some crazy binges in the last few weeks. my weight is at the highest ever since i reached my goal a few years back.
i made a plan, now i just have to stick with it!

good luck to all of you who are on board ;)


HuggerBunny
12-03-2013, 08:51 AM
Wow, can't believe I've been on the forum a bit more than a month and it's time for a new thread! Glad you started a new one, thesame7lbs.

I must admit that I didn't do so great with Thanksgiving. I mean, the day of was fine, but I indulged in leftovers more than I should have. No binging, but I meant to get back on track after allotting 2 days for Thanksgiving and one day of some leftovers, it was more like 3-4 days. Oopsie. Today was a good day though and I think I'm back on track :)

Also, my cousin announced on Thanksgiving that she's pregnant and due in the summer. Very exciting news, my cousin and I are close and I can't wait to watch her child grow up. Wish it was me who's pregnant, though. She got pregnant the first month she was off hormonal birth control. Hopefully by the time the baby is born, I will be pregnant as well!

Fiona W
12-03-2013, 10:16 AM
thesame7lbs and missunshine— I hope I don't sound like a broken record on this subject, but if y'all have trouble with binging, I strongly recommend that you read Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge (http://www.amazon.com/Brain-over-Binge-Conventional-Recovered/dp/0984481702/). She has a simple and powerful technique for how to say "no" to the urge to binge that looks to be a game changer for me. I'm really excited about it! Of course only time will tell, how helpful it is in the long run, but so far, I feel like a whole new binge-free person. (See my sig.) =smile=

ILoveVegetables
12-03-2013, 01:48 PM
Hi everyone. November wasn't a very great month for me. I didn't end up losing anything and think I gained about 2 lbs. I slacked quite a bit with my portion control, though I improved by the end. Had my birthday yesterday, which I decided not to feel guilty for and had a fairly unhealthy dinner (roast chicken, jacket potatoes, chicken soup), though I just had one piece of chicken. Anyhow, I'm determined for this month to be better. I'd like to restart my exercising which I haven't done for months, and I'm aiming for just 30-45 minutes of walking or swimming 5 days a week, which I think is doable.

Rhiko
12-03-2013, 09:31 PM
Hello again :D

I have a new resolve this month to get back on track and mentally prepare for Christmas so I don't eat too much of anything! I managed to beat the binge last year where my weight gain stayed under 1kg, so I'm aiming to do it again this year. My new goal this month is to stop my midnight snacking. I've decided that I can't eat after 10pm (because I'm usually up until 3-4am). It worked last night, so I'm going to keep it up :D

:goodluck: to everyone else this month!

Fiona W
12-04-2013, 03:43 AM
Oh man, I'm wanting to binge tonight. It's because I'm angry. Anger is my hardest emotion to just live with and not stuff myself with sweets.

But I feel stuck with this commitment I made not to binge for 30 days.

So....that's that. No binge for me. =arrrrrggggghhhh=

thesame7lbs
12-04-2013, 12:49 PM
Fiona, I hope the rest of your evening got better! I think it's great you came here to post rather than give in!

My victory yesterday was eating well... [until book club, which was wine-and-dessert-heavy]... and then NOT continuing to indulge when I got home. I'm really proud of myself for not having more treats late night.

Hope everyone is having a good day. Mind over matter!

Fiona W
12-04-2013, 03:37 PM
thesame7lbs— Thanks for the support. Good for you that you had sweets with others, but then did NOT indulge anymore after getting home! That's always a hard one for me: the "I've already blown it, so why not eat more?" craving. That's why I didn't go to my family's Thanksgiving this year: I was afraid that I'd give in and have a piece of pie, and then go on a binge in the aftermath.

Yes, my evening eventually got better: I just listened to the voice in my head crying out for sweets, making sure that I felt separate from it, until finally I was exhausted and fell asleep. That was the first acid test of Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge technique. She says that once you start ignoring the voice saying "Binge!" that eventually it gets quieter and quieter until it goes away. I am SO ready for that. I feel really blessed that her book came along right when I am eager to give up binging completely, eager to put all this nonsense behind me. I kinda think that you do have to be very ready to quit, for her technique to work.

Fiona W
12-06-2013, 01:39 AM
Tonight I've been beseiged with cravings for sweets. I'm eating macadamia nuts and trying to ignore the hubbub in my head. No binge behavior, just Zevia soda and macadamia nuts.

I hope I don't have to go through many more nights like this before the urges to binge die down and go away. This feels like giving up a powerful drug. I was a bigtime emotional eater for nearly 50 years, and this is the first time I've tried to give it up completely. I guess it's not surprising my brain is kicking up a fuss.

I'm trying not to fight it... just letting it roar without acting on the urges...

Rhiko
12-06-2013, 06:31 AM
Keep going Fiona, you're doing awesome :cheer:
I eat when I'm bored or when my mind isn't busy and when I'm stressed too. Your mind will kick up a fuss for a little while, but it does get easier! Just keep going with what you are doing and you'll find one day that the urges are gone.

Fiona W
12-06-2013, 07:25 PM
Thanks for the support, Rhiko... I've been meaning to tell you: I love the picture of your beautiful cat! My husband and I usually have a pair of oriental shorthairs runnin' 'round our house, but we are currently catless, as we wait for our breeder to come up with a new pair of kittens for us. I've been surprised, these past several months since our last cat died, at how hard it is to live without a cat or two. They may be smaller than people, but they take up a lot of space in our hearts and our minds. =smile=

Jubilee77
12-06-2013, 08:04 PM
Anger is my hardest emotion to just live with and not stuff myself with sweets.


Hi there,
I'm new - just today.
I am realizing that uncertainty, as it relates to my health, creates hopelessness in me which is my hardest emotion to live with without stuffing myself with sweets; specifically Reese's peanut butter cups.

Rhiko
12-07-2013, 08:54 AM
Thanks for the support, Rhiko... I've been meaning to tell you: I love the picture of your beautiful cat! My husband and I usually have a pair of oriental shorthairs runnin' 'round our house, but we are currently catless, as we wait for our breeder to come up with a new pair of kittens for us. I've been surprised, these past several months since our last cat died, at how hard it is to live without a cat or two. They may be smaller than people, but they take up a lot of space in our hearts and our minds. =smile=

Thank you :) Hopefully you get a new kitten soon :D

HuggerBunny
12-07-2013, 06:51 PM
Haven't posted in this thread for a few days, mostly because there's been nothing to report. I've done a good job at sticking to eating what I should. A couple of times I've wanted something sweet and a tiny piece of chocolate has taken care of it- I consider it okay for me to have a square from a chocolate bar, I've been munching off the same one for a month now and half of it is still there.

We also finally got to the store yesterday (the roads were terrible for a few days, we'd originally intended to go on Tuesday), so I have all manner of nutritious choices to pick from. The past few days were basically eggs, clementine oranges, peanut butter, cheddar or string cheese, and whatever healthy leftovers and frozen veggies I could scrounge from the freezer. We now have a type of apple I haven't tried before, grapes (love grapes!), raspberries (love raspberries!), carrots, cucumber, 2 kinds of tomato, zucchini, and 2 kinds of lettuce to pick from! Plus I picked up 2 new kinds of tea to try and we have stuff for me to make dinner for the next few nights, both recipes are things I've never made before. Made the first one last night and we loved it, hoping for the same success tonight :)

Going to the store was kind of hard though, didn't help that I was hungry. Although normally I'm not super into candy and sweet things, the holiday season is a time I really associate with desserts. There were so many tasty looking, festive treats at the store! Would have picked one for myself for dessert to go with my "free meal" in a few days, but they all came in big packages. I just want one. Swung down the Christmas candy aisle to get some Reese's PB trees and ended up putting a bag of Gingerbread Twix (interesting!) and a bag of peppermint nougats in my cart as well. My hope was that my husband would want to try the Twix as well, but he thought they sounded gross. For the peppermint nougats, I was thinking maybe eating one could replace my little square of chocolate if I really want something sweet this month. Problem is, the bag was really big! Before we checked out, I put back both bags and instead grabbed a small bag of Brach's Holiday Mix, which has a rather pretty variety of different hard candies, I think in assorted flavors (only tried on so far!) I picked them instead because a) hard candies last longer in your mouth, b) the bag is small, and c) I don't think I have ever in my life overindulged, or been tempted to overindulge on hard candy. Carefully selected my first piece yesterday, it was raspberry flavored and quite enjoyable :) Resisting the siren song of all the holiday treats and emerging with just a bag of hard candy (and the PB trees, which are for Christmas with my in-laws) is pretty good I think!

Does anyone else here in the thread find that tea helps them with eating what they should? It's definitely helped me. Tea doesn't have any calories, so I can pick whichever variety pleases me and there are basically countless options, especially if you get into the world of tea blends made by small companies. Sometimes I'll add a tiny bit of milk or Splenda to the tea, but my default for years has been to drink it as is with nothing added.

Anyway, enough about me. Fiona, good job resisting, especially when facing your most difficult food related emotion! That must have been hard. I hope the book is correct and the desire to binge will wane the longer you resist it.

Thesame7lbs, nice work resisting eating what you shouldn't the evening of the book club! How have you done since then?

Rhiko, how are you doing?

Jubilee, welcome! I am pretty new as well, but everyone has been very nice. Identifying the emotion that leads you to overeat I think is an excellent step towards changing that, good job!

Rhiko
12-07-2013, 08:42 PM
Rhiko, how are you doing?

I'm doing good. Thanks for asking :) I've managed to not eat after 10pm all week and I've not binged or indulged :)

I also drink tea in place of eating... I have one after 10pm now when I feel the urge to eat. I have light blue milk (NZ) that is also 98% fat-free, so in all my tea is only 14 calories max because I like a double shot of milk lol

Jubilee77
12-07-2013, 11:21 PM
Thanks for the welcome, HuggerBunny. Sounds like you did great at the store! I am envious that you have no problem with Reese's peanut butter products. That bag of trees you mentioned would not have made it home intact in *my* car!

I did pretty well eating out with family tonight at a Mexican place: not a single chip! It was great because I've never left that restaurant without feeling distended. :dizzy:

J.

mainecyn
12-09-2013, 09:19 AM
Fat fat fat and not the good kind either. All started with one little taste and not sure why all the way back to just before thanksgiving I binged all vacation and then did well this last week and binged all weekend.

Mrs Snark
12-09-2013, 09:39 AM
Mainecyn-- There you are! Hang in there, you've done it before, you can get back into a good pattern, I know you can!

mainecyn
12-09-2013, 09:50 PM
Thank you Mrs Snark, I have made it thru today so far and doing better. It has been a horrible couple weeks. I feel terrible emotionally, and physically. Its one of those things that we have all thought, "Why did I do it, what started it, what made me binge?" I cant remember, I don't know what caused it except for opening my mouth and shoveling food into it. It honestly was the worst binge episode I have had to date so far.

ILoveVegetables
12-09-2013, 11:05 PM
Mainecyn, I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think. Take it one day at a time.

I've been pretty happy with December so far. Not started exercising so far, but I'm going to do it today. Food wise, I've been doing well. Mainly I'm cautious about Christmas and New Years, but I'll take them as they come.

Fiona W
12-11-2013, 06:48 PM
Well, I ended up having to modify my Atkins very low carb diet because it was making me severely depressed, but I'm happy to report that (A) the addition of a serving of muesli at noon seems to have cleared up my depression, and (B) I resisted the urge to follow up the first time I had the muesli with a binge.

When I went to the grocery store to buy more muesli (since I'd been eating my husband's supply), it was such a strange feeling, to be buying carbohydrates, I was sorely tempted to pick up a bunch of cookies. But I didn't. I'm not even sure why, except that using Kathryn Hansen's Brain over Binge technique for nearly 20 days straight is beginning to have a momentum of its own.

No one is more amazed than I am that I have made it this far without a binge...

HuggerBunny
12-12-2013, 12:09 AM
Mainecyn, I'm sorry to hear you had a rough time after Thanksgiving! I enjoyed leftovers longer than I should have, too.

Another check in for me! I've done a good job resisting cravings and sticking to my plan. Today is the day once a week when I get to have whatever I want for a meal! I'm going to have 7Up, mac and cheese, and will bake reindeer shaped peanut butter cookies later tonight. I also told myself I could have one of the Reese's PB trees I purchased a few days ago, but I'm not really craving it and don't want to eat it just because I can. Sweets never were my downfall (I've thrown away so much candy over the years and missed out on so many desserts that I saved for later but were eaten by someone else) and I do NOT want to turn them into my downfall!

Four nice things weight loss related have happened for me this week. First, I hit 203 pounds, so 17 pounds lost. I've lost 3 pounds since November 19th. Not bad considering I admittedly haven't been sticking to my healthy eating plan as much since it's the holiday season. My goal is to be down to 200 on January 5th. The second thing was that pants that were only a bit loose on me before now will not stay up without a belt. The third thing is that I'm down 2 holes on my belt from when I started this! And the fourth thing is that the mother of a child I provide therapy to asked if I'd lost weight, she hadn't seen me since the very end of September. Admittedly, I find it embarrassing when people comment on things like this, but it's good to know that my efforts are showing some.

ILoveVegetables
12-12-2013, 04:13 AM
Wow, today was a stupidly bad day for eating, and it's only afternoon.

I've eaten about 4 times since I woke up, and not all of it was healthy food. Even the healthy stuff I ate were big portions. I don't know what triggered this ridiculous binge today but I'm trying to keep myself busy for the rest of the day so I don't eat any more.

Fiona W
12-13-2013, 12:06 AM
ILoveVegetables— Sorry to hear about your rough day, but hey—you get all kinds of credit for coming here to post about it! If you possibly can, next time try to post before the overeating happens...

HuggerBunny— Good for you on your weight loss and also for resisting cravings! Your once-a-week meal sounds nice! I bet those reindeer PB cookies were good. You're a lucky woman that sweets are not your downfall: I would not be a fat person today if sugary treats had never been invented. =laugh=

mainecyn— I'm so sorry you're goin' through a difficult time. Do you have someone with whom you can talk about what's goin' on? You know you can write about it here. I'm new on this thread, but from what I've read so far, you seem like a very special person. =warm smile=

Jubilee77— I hope you'll come back soon and tell us more of your story...

Mrs Snark— So what's new with you? =grin=

Rhiko— Good for you that you can stave off the urge to eat with a cup o' tea. I do something similar in the morning to get my day off to a good start: I have two big mugs of Mexican coffee. But I'm afraid my coffee has rather more calories than your tea, because I put real cream in it: it's allowed on my low-carb diet. I also drink hot chicken broth as my "dessert" after dinner. Give that lovely cat a nice rub for me!

I had a surprising moment in the Co-op grocery store today: I was waiting for the office to approve my exchange of Familia muesli w/ sugar added for the kind with no sugar, and just as they handed my box to me, I realized that I had been standing right next to the basket of my favorite huge organic cookies, and hadn't even given them a glance. And I knew that's where they were always located, on the shelf in front of the office, because oh boy, I used to binge on those puppies: I used to buy like half the basket at once. I just can't believe it, how quickly my binge behavior has gone away...even with my adding the carbos to my diet, I only think of them as a daily serving of muesli, not anything else!

HuggerBunny
12-13-2013, 04:37 AM
Fiona, sweets aren't my downfall, it's savory carbs. Pasta, breads, rice, potatoes, crackers, chips, tortillas... I love them all. I'm not following the Atkins Diet or anything, just cut out the above as well as sugar (not counting sugar from fresh fruit), then once a week I can have a meal plus beverage and dessert of my choice and once a meal I can have some other non-meal treat. I also allow myself a small square of chocolate or a small piece of hard candy if I really want something sweet, that happens maybe 3 times a week. So far so good!

worththeeffort2
12-13-2013, 07:50 AM
Since going onto a medically supervised diet on Nov. 1, I've been binge free. That doesn't mean I haven't had the impulse to binge. I just didn't act on it. I'm hoping, as time goes on, this will lead to a retraining of my behaviors and a permanent change of habit in response to the impulse to binge. I dream of the day the binge impulse is gone forever and I can have a normal relationship with food. I do have to admit, being low, low carb right now and getting sugar out of my system really has improved my mood. I just feel better in general.

Valkyrie1
12-13-2013, 10:16 AM
Hi. I'm new to the thread, but I've been lurking for a while, and I want to say that I admire you all and can relate to your struggles with bingeing and the urge to binge.

mainecyn
12-13-2013, 01:58 PM
Mainecyn, I'm sorry to hear you had a rough time after Thanksgiving! I enjoyed leftovers longer than I should have, too.

Problem for me was it wasn't just Thanksgiving, that day. In fact, I did ok that day because there was everyone watching. I ate later that night after everyone was off doing other things..then the day after until this Monday I binged every single day. I mean eating half a pie, make a batch of pancakes and eat the entire batch myself, bags of chips, candy, cereal, that was just one day. I did this every single day until this Monday. I ate all my normal meals, but I also ate this amount on top of it each day. I ate so much each day I became physically sick and spent lots of times in the bathroom, or would be doing ok and then have to rush to the bathroom. I suffered from upset stomach, acid reflex, diarrhea, and constipation. Its not been pretty.

mainecyn— I'm so sorry you're goin' through a difficult time. Do you have someone with whom you can talk about what's goin' on? You know you can write about it here. I'm new on this thread, but from what I've read so far, you seem like a very special person. =warm smile=

Thank you, this is why I keep coming back to this board and this post with you all. I tried to reach out to my husband over and over. I tried explaining to him that I wasn't just over eating, that I was binge eating and explaining just what it was like and that I was having such an unbelievable time being able to stop eating things I shouldn't and stopping the amount I was eating. I explained the gaining weight, etc.

My husband is a sweet, caring, loving man, but he doesn't get it no matter how many times I tell him and try to explain it is not just over eating or eating the wrong things that I'm addicted and I binge, he goes, "Your a strong person and you either stop eating or you don't". He thinks its STILL is just about over eating and gaining some of my weight back. I just can't explain to him and he doesn't get the addiction or understand its an addiction he cant wrap his mind around it..yet he is aware of addiction as 30 years ago he had addictions of his own as a teen.

So, why can't he understand that food is just as addicted as drugs? He is never going to understand any of it I've run out of breath trying to explain to my DH, I could slap him in the face and say "I have a disease" and he still wouldn't get it. When I binge its not just eating a little bit of this and that, its cleaning out the cupboard, the fridge, the freezer, eating it all in one setting, everything..and its for days. Its no different than a drug addict digging thru the trash to find some they threw away, I've done it myself for food I tossed and then changed my mind.

I have done well this morning but have had two times I've been tempted to eat what I shouldn't, things that would start a binge. I have made it to today, day 5 binge free.

I am not sure where the energy and confidence has gone like it did the first time but the binge is fighting me and not letting go.:?:

Jubilee77
12-13-2013, 08:24 PM
Hi. I'm new to the thread, but I've been lurking for a while, and I want to say that I admire you all and can relate to your struggles with bingeing and the urge to binge.

Welcome, Valkyrie1!

I'm new, too. :)

**************
I've been doing well. I haven't binged since November 24th; I've overeaten, but not binged. Most of the overeating was done on and around Thanksgiving, too. Identifying what my trigger foods are has REALLY helped me. I had myself on a very low carb plan until I, too, started feeling depressed and downright achy. I know some detoxing is to be expected, but I felt lousy and weak. I can't afford those physical problems with three kids to homeschool! After adding back in some safe (non-trigger) carbs, I began to feel better within 48 hours.

Hoping everyone continues strong through the holiday season.

Blessings,
J.
:wreath:

Jubilee77
12-13-2013, 08:34 PM
Its no different than a drug addict digging thru the trash to find some they threw away, I've done it myself for food I tossed and then changed my mind.


Mainecyn: I've done this many times...and not just from the garbage inside the house, if you catch my drift.

Hoping you are able to get settled in, again.

J.

HuggerBunny
12-13-2013, 10:36 PM
Okay, I have to admit that I don't think I've ever actually binged? Overeaten for sure. But I've never eaten an entire package of anything or a whole (or half) a pizza or half a pie or anything. I've polished off an entire box of Cheez Its or Triscuits in a couple of days a few times, had 2 sandwiches instead of one, or 2 Hot Pockets, 3 little frozen burritos, or a whole 21 oz thing of frozen mac and cheese. Once in middle school I had 4 donuts in one sitting. I definitely used to overeat, specifically carb rich things, but I'm really not sure if it counted as binging.

missunshine
12-14-2013, 08:10 AM
hi guys, i've been doing great the past two weeks and i even managed to lose some pounds...probably water weight. but yesterday i returned home from uni and i'll be staying here for 3 weeks and today is my mom's birthday party where all my family is going to be and i feel a little embarassed because i gained some weight when my sister who gave birth 6 months ago lost so much weight so fast. when i saw her yesterday i was amazed and she was overweight all of her life. i do feel happy for her but i'm so dissapointed in me. i have a goal not to gain anymore during the holidays and start losing after i get back to uni but my mom is cooking like crazy everytime i return home and it's really hard to resist.
i wish you loads of willpower to resist for the rest of the month!!!

imnotperfect24
12-15-2013, 02:48 AM
I don't remember posting in here or not. Anyway...

I'm not new.. I've been a in and out weight loss person for awhile now. It's always i'm going to start now.. Then after a couple weeks I'm back to my same habits of overeating/binging at night.

So far I've done pretty good. Been 13 days I believe. Not a straight 13... I went 10 days straight then had a bit of a break down one night and overate. then back on the horse the next time and it's been 3 days so far. I'm trying pretty hard here. So far tonight i've done good.

Anyway thank you all for reading my posts. lol.. I needed somewhere to get my feelings out since I cant talk to my family (none of them are binge eaters/overweight).

MeganTheMushroom
12-15-2013, 08:33 AM
Uggh, I have not been doing well lately.
I'm so sick of constantly disappointing myself. I'm always so good for most of the day until after dinner hits, I guess I just need to keep myself busy/out of the house.

Well, today I have work from 8 to 1, and after that I have two more finals to finish and then I'm done. Today will be my first Day 1 in a while.

Fiona W
12-15-2013, 06:18 PM
Oooooo I had a really close call last night on the emotional eating front, but I managed to squeak through with my streak intact. What happened was, my husband Bob and I were talking as we were getting ready to go to bed, and something I was saying about how moderate exercise elevates one's mood got Bob all defensive (because his agoraphobia has him housebound these days) and he more or less bit my head off. Normally I would have protested and we'd have had a chance to clear the air, but right after Bob's outburst, he put his head on the pillow and promptly fell asleep! I mean, one second he was making me feel terrible, and the next second he was snoring.

So I went downstairs all in a storm of feeling treated unjustly (which, I should add, Bob rarely does). I was irritable anyway from my incipient virus, so I was really mad. Anger, I have discovered in the past few months, is my biggest trigger for having an episode of emotional/compulsive/binge-type eating. And it's especially dangerous for me to get angry on a Friday or a Saturday night, when our local Starbucks drive-through window is open all night long. Even though it was like 2 o'clock in the morning, I could very easily have popped in my car and gone and binged on those big Starbucks oatmeal raisin cookies I love so much, with a vente-size caramel macchiato to boot! I swear, y'all, my right hand had already picked up the car keys before I caught myself. =whew=

So what I did first was to practice Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge technique of separating yourself from the urge to overeat, where you view the urge as what she calls "neurological junk" from a lower part of your brain that you, the person in charge, choose to ignore—not fight, just ignore. That got my head considerably clearer and allowed me to put the car keys down.

And then I quietly and deliberately fixed myself a small serving (1/2 cup) of muesli. This may sound silly, but it was like that little bit of carbs served as an escape valve for my overheated brain. I ate the muesli slowly, concentrating on every bite, then went to bed.

Now I'm not counting that small serving of muesli as emotional eating: rather it was an emergency measure to help prevent emotional eating.

So that's my scary tale of rage running amok... =laugh=

mainecyn
12-15-2013, 09:21 PM
I've done ok over the weekend. I haven't felt strong, but I have made it. I am already worried about Christmas vacation and being home. I thought about tasting cookies this morning as I was baking them, almost convinced myself, then pulled away. If I can just keep at least that much self control.;)

I've been wrapping presents since this afternoon. I've got it all done. That is something in its self right there. My son got the tree up, now we have to string the lights, and actually hang stuff on it. Only issue, there just isn't much room at all left to move around in the living room now. We have a new sofa and an extra chair since last year. It makes it even more difficult in a small area with trying to install a tree in there as well.

I kept busy so there really wasn't much eating or thinking of eating. I should tell mysef that I even baked "goodies" and didn't try a single one. The are for my husband's party at work tomorrow.

I am still feeling such guilt over ruining how well I had been doing. I mean I had been about 25 days binge free and I can't even remember completely:?: what sparked it, it always does..so how do I prevent it? I haven't relost the weight I regained, I can see it in the waist band of my underwear-tighter in the hips or rolls down, and the top has a bit coming over it again. grrrr.

mainecyn
12-16-2013, 03:23 PM
Ok, it looks like I've made it a full week again. Thank goodness. I've got a little better control today, its day 8. I have been keeping myself as busy as I can it does help.

I look at everyone here in the thread and realize that we all have so many challenges in our daily lives, so many expectations from other people as who we are and what we do for them.

I don't feel like I "own" myself, does that make sense? Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a daughter in law, and x wife (unfortunately you get dragged in to deal with them at times), an employee, a supervisor, the bill payer of the family making sure all bills are paid on time and where they need to go, the grocery getter, the laundry, the dishes, the meals, ...so many different things. I don't see me, I don't' know what i like or dislike anymore, in all honesty, EXCEPT FOR WHAT I EAT. This is all I do know..

I am expected to make more than 100% of myself and my time available for everyone in the family, I don't ask for anything for anyone yet I am the one who hears, if you get a chance can you do this, or why is my this or that...I'm empty, I'm in the negative. Nothing ever fills me.

mainecyn
12-17-2013, 04:41 PM
Well, one more day just about done. I have kept extremely busy during my break from work. I had to take the oldest to the orthodontist this morning. Before that, grocery store, been home on break and have spent it doing dishes, tackling laundry, vacuuming, and doing everything I can not to think about eating what I shouldn't.

I hope everyone is doing ok, its very quite around here lately, but I am assuming we are all very very busy with things going on.

Jubilee77
12-17-2013, 08:39 PM
I've been doing ok. I have ongoing trouble with my health, so when I have little incidents, I panic and this is what triggers binges for me. Yesterday, I had such an issue, but instead of running to my drug of choice, a Reese's binge, I had two pieces of 85% cacao chocolate and a decaf cup of coffee with half and half and stevia. This seemed to work. I continued to want to binge after an on plan dinner, so I had an apple with plenty of natural peanut butter and milk. This may seem like a lot of food, but at least it's wholesome and not as calorie dense as a Reese's binge.

Since I've stopped binging, all of the feelings I've been medicating for 30 years are coming to the surface, demanding to be dealt with. It is somewhat scary. I'm realizing just how much anger I have had inside. At least it's coming out now. I have a very supportive husband who will listen (in short sessions) to my discoveries.

Hang in there Mainecyn. :hug:

Fiona W
12-17-2013, 08:41 PM
I don't feel like I "own" myself, does that make sense? Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a daughter in law, and x wife (unfortunately you get dragged in to deal with them at times), an employee, a supervisor, the bill payer of the family making sure all bills are paid on time and where they need to go, the grocery getter, the laundry, the dishes, the meals, ...so many different things. I don't see me, I don't' know what i like or dislike anymore, in all honesty, EXCEPT FOR WHAT I EAT. This is all I do know..

I am expected to make more than 100% of myself and my time available for everyone in the family, I don't ask for anything for anyone yet I am the one who hears, if you get a chance can you do this, or why is my this or that...I'm empty, I'm in the negative. Nothing ever fills me.

I know what you're talking about. Many years ago when I read Susie Orbach's Fat is a Feminist Issue for the first time, I learned that it's very common for fat women to be in the position of give, give, give to all the people in their lives, and to not be able to give to themselves—except for what they eat. It becomes such a strong pattern in their (our) lives that they (we) do not know how to fill themselves (ourselves) emotionally.

And it's very sad, what you say about being empty, in the negative. I used to be a lot like that myself, but I'm retired now, and I'm much better at giving to myself than I used to be. That's why right now, even as we speak, I am giving myself two huge gifts: (1) weight loss and lifestyle changes, leading to a much healthier and more comfortable body, and (2) becoming free of emotional/binge-type eating, leading to a much healthier and more comfortable mind. I'm 58, and I'm looking forward a lot to my 60s. I want them to be terrific years for just being me. So that's why I'm working so hard on these issues now, so I'll be in a whole new place by my 60th birthday.

I hope so much for you that you can learn how to fill yourself. What would you give yourself if you could have anything you wanted? What do you most desire? I don't mean like material goods, I mean like food for the soul. What would nourish you on the inside?

Fiona W
12-17-2013, 08:54 PM
Since I've stopped binging, all of the feelings I've been medicating for 30 years are coming to the surface, demanding to be dealt with. It is somewhat scary. I'm realizing just how much anger I have had inside. At least it's coming out now.

Oh man, that is exactly what's been happening to me: anger, anger, and more anger. I don't binge when I'm bored or lonely or depressed, but I do binge when I'm angry. This project of trying to go 30 days (now on Day 26) without a binge has really taken the lid off a box full of rage inside of me.

But I'm learning that while it's scary, it's not going to burn my house down, it's not going to destroy my marriage (I have a really supportive husband, too), it's just a feeling and it's OK to be with that feeling for a while. I find myself taking a lot of deep breaths, and meditating is helpful, too—those mindfulness skills where you just observe the emotion (and the urge to binge) but you don't interact with it. You don't try to stuff it away, you don't fight it, you just watch it unfold and then slowly fade away. =whew=

Do you know what I'm talking about? What is it like for you, to let that anger hang out instead of binging it away?

Jubilee77
12-18-2013, 02:17 AM
Do you know what I'm talking about? What is it like for you, to let that anger hang out instead of binging it away?

It is downright scary for me to think what these emotions have been doing to my psyche all these years. I literally DID NOT KNOW the anger was going on. I had become so efficient at self-medicating with food that I rarely felt anger. I knew that I was frustrated with certain aspects/people, but I had NO idea that I was enraged!

When the anger surfaces, I go through a process of: anger - shock - sadness - firm boundary setting/plan of action - release. It seems that as long as I'm able to come up with a way to be proactive about dealing with the issue/person, then the anger automatically goes away. Sometimes I'll get the same issue a few times in a row. I'll go through the same process until my brain gets the point that "we have a plan."

This seems to be working for now, but I've only been binge-free since November 24th.

How are you dealing with it? :hug:

Here's to supportive husbands. (poor guys) :)

J.

pixelllate
12-18-2013, 01:12 PM
I know what you're talking about. Many years ago when I read Susie Orbach's Fat is a Feminist Issue for the first time, I learned that it's very common for fat women to be in the position of give, give, give to all the people in their lives, and to not be able to give to themselves—except for what they eat. It becomes such a strong pattern in their (our) lives that they (we) do not know how to fill themselves (ourselves) emotionally.


I think I read something similar to that or the same thing awhile ago - and that binging was something that we could do for ourselves without hurting anyone else. It wouldn't....inconvenience anybody (I say this with bitterness!).

I was always angry with my narcissist family and did not know it. I wasn't actually angry about my awful job - I was angry because I was OK with being mistreated because I thought that that was just what I deserved cause the stars aligned the way they did when I was born. I rarely speak to family now which has given me mental clarification - and anger. Precious deliberate not-roundabout anger. Now I feel it and it feels great. I no longer blame myself for feeling upset - which is something that happened often as my family would tell me how I "actually feel and how I actually SHOULD feel" making me question my instincts. Now I realize that I was annoyed with them because I should be annoyed with them. Since having a job and hardly talking to them, I hardly even have the SAD I thought I had.

I think of this sometimes - “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a$$holes.”


― Steven Winterburn

mainecyn
12-18-2013, 04:44 PM
I'm just checking in. I haven't had a binge but I am really still paying for my last binging activity, lots of stomach and digestive issues still. I am hoping that it reminds me over and over as to why I shouldn't do it-binge. I am still very bloated, very irritated, very emotionally.

I have been asking myself about this need or want to lose weight. I am questioning if the constant want to drop the pounds add to the problem of binging, if I need to address only one of those issues at a time..such as learning to get full control of the binging and address that, then focus on losing the weight. I don't know. It doesn't seem like its mattered over the years.

Weight wise I get as low as the 170's, and can maintain that type of weight but never get lower. I am wondering just what lies buried deep inside, that makes it so..I was in the 180's a year ago so even now I am less than I was, but not as happy as I was last Feb when I weighed 152. Should I ditch the scale? Should I try to only focus on eating healthy, being happy, not focusing on what the number says? I don't want to turn 41 in May without having taken a large step in the binge eating issue. The problem is, my binge eating has gotten worse over the past couple years, I am worse now at 40, than I was at 30. I weight less, but I am more UNHEALTHY and hurting myself.

I have downloaded some samples of books about binge eating, thanks for mentioning the books on binge eating.

The drive thru, while i haven't gone to the Starbucks (only because my step-daughter works there) this morning I was facing this same issue square in the eye. I had planned on going to the drive thru coffee shop on the way to work, even started the car early so I'd have time. I still felt pretty yucky after a horrible digestion issue last night and into this morning, I talked myself out of the coffee stop only by saying I wouldn't' enjoy it since i already felt bad.

I suffer from huge stomach, intestinal issues from binging ,and also ulcerative colitis. I know that the eating/binging doesn't help and only makes this worse, and then there is the stress..when I am stressed it is so much worse and that is what happened yesterday..after a hugely long day with stress lately, emotional and mental, it all came to a head last last night around bed time.

To all those that have hung on, congratulations on plugging along and mentally reward yourself-celebrate what you have done. For those like myself that keep having ups and downs, we can just keep going-right>

ILoveVegetables
12-19-2013, 08:45 AM
Checking in as well.

I had a huge wake up call today. I post my weekly weight in the Valentine's day challenge discussion, and I realized that I actually haven't lost more than 2 lbs since September. I've been yoyoing all over the place when it comes to checking my eating, and I've fallen into this rut where I just try not to overeat, rather than actively eat less than I should. Well, no more. I'm going to cut out eating between meals completely. I've done it once so I know I can do it again.

geoblewis
12-19-2013, 12:37 PM
I've been busy and offline for a few weeks. But I've been doing well. Not weighed in for at least a week. Haven't tracked any calories in nearly two weeks. Have exercised five days a week consistently for months. And have been doing really well with the mindful eating. So yesterday a couple people told me they thought I had lost more weight. I really don't know. I had to get new smaller bras last week.

Fiona W
12-20-2013, 11:49 PM
I had a bunch of holiday errands to run today, and I was a little apprehensive about venturing out into the Friday holiday scene. All turned out well, though: people were helpful and upbeat everywhere I went. They were even having a wine tasting at the Co-op, so while I waited for Bob's scrip to be filled at the pharmacy, I got to drink a couple glasses of Pinot Grigio, my favorite white.

My monthly weigh-in is usually on the 22nd, but I'm going to do it tomorrow, a day early, because I'm going to allow myself a bar of dark chocolate at our Yule celebration. I realized today that I don't even care about how much weight I've lost this past month, or if I've lost any at all, because I've just about wrapped up my mini-goal of 30 days of no emotional, compulsive, or binge-type eating. I can't believe how utterly changed I feel, to have that horrible monkey off my back. Cookies & candy & donuts & their ilk are no longer ordering me around and making me miserable. =whew= I have so much to be grateful for!

My best wishes to all of you for a lovely weekend filled with peace, comfort, and joy...

Songofsusannah
12-21-2013, 08:36 AM
Hi all! I'm joining the thread in hopes of breaking the binging habit which has seemed to rear its ugly head especially badly this month. :/
I slipped majorly last night…. I went to my company's holiday party (I even prepared myself by eating beforehand) and I ate 10 HUGE cookies, and a TON of crackers/cheese… more candy than I can count. I woke up today feeling awful. But today is a new day. I have a second work related party today, so I am going in with the intention of not even starting with the sweets. Not even one. Because, apparently, I can't even have just one. This door is so difficult to close once it's been opened….

ILoveVegetables
12-21-2013, 11:52 AM
Welcome to the thread, Songofsusannah (Stephen King fan?). Nice to have you here :)

My check in for today. I went for a movie (Desolation of Smaug... oh jesus, I fell in love with about 6 people in the movie) and had popcorn and a small pepsi. Not good, but once I got home I decided to skip dinner, which I think evens out my calories for the day since I only had lunch before that.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that I don't like pepsi (or coke, or colas in general) much anymore. I could only have about half the cup before I got sick of it and wasted the rest. When I started out with the weight loss thing, I used to have at least a 3 to 4 bottles of coke each week, but cut it out completely for a couple of months. If I managed that without too much pain I think I can cut something else out. Like fried food (which will be torture). Or something else. I don't know.

Rhiko
12-21-2013, 08:31 PM
Hello all. I won't be back this year but I thought I'd check in :)

Aside from my planned TOM late night eating (because 2 hours after dinner I'm starving again :mad:), I've only had one night of midnight snacking. I'm going to switch to maintenance over Christmas and pick up my weight loss next year.

Good luck to you all.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :dance:

AllyG47
12-22-2013, 06:08 AM
I ate at a buffet for supper last night and totally overdid it. Now I'm paying for it. It is 4 AM and I can't sleep. My stomach feels even fuller now than it did when I got done eating at 6 PM yesterday evening. It hurts and I can hear it gurgling and making noises. I'm tired and just want to go to sleep but when I lay down, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Binging is not worth it at all. I can't believe I ate so much at that buffet. Ugh! :barf:

Fiona W
12-23-2013, 09:30 AM
I have a little Christmas fun to share with you guys. It starts with a poem titled "Nicolas Was" by Neil Gaiman:

Nicholas Was...

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

And here's the animation of the poem. (http://vimeo.com/17911948). Enjoy!

Jubilee77
12-23-2013, 08:32 PM
Tomorrow will mark one month of no binging. Physically I feel really good, but mentally I am a mess. The emotions and memories that I had been stuffing with food are continuing to come up and with more intensity.

I tried to see if I could take the edge off the feelings by allowing myself one "free/eat whatever I want" meal. We go to In-N-Out as a family once a week. Lately I've been getting a cheeseburger, leaving 1/2 to 1 bun behind, and iced tea with lemon, sweetened with Stevia. In the old days, I would get the burger with fries and a full sugar soda. So for this "free" meal, I planned to eat my old order. (Note: this meal was not a binge for me in the past, just poor choices.) It backfired. Even though I didn't finish the food, I ended up nauseated and feeling "high", but not in a good way (if there really is such a thing, anyway). So, I guess I won't be doing that again.

I don't really crave to eat like I used to, I just wish the emotions would go away. As difficult as it is, I'm thankful that stuffing them with food is not working, anymore.

I'm looking forward to weighing in on Wednesday. I skipped last week's weigh-in because I was starting my cycle and was incredibly bloated. I had been eating really well, but was just super PMSy and didn't want to make myself feel as though I had failed because of what clearly would have been water weight. My clothes are much looser, so we'll see what Wednesday brings.

Hope everyone is enjoying the season and hanging in there.

Blessings,
:wreath:
J.

Fiona W
12-23-2013, 09:01 PM
Congratulations, Jubilee, on going a whole month without binging! Way to go! Actually, we could congratulate each other, because I'm on day 32 without binging. I find that I'm not even having the cravings for sweets the way I used to have. I have no sugar at all in my current diet, and that really helps me in not getting into that horrible "eat sugar, then want to eat more sugar" cycle.

I know what you mean about the emotions, too. I'm having trouble with anger and depression feelings. But I feel SO much better without that nasty binge demon bugging me all the time, I'll take the negative emotions as they come. I'm finding that a bit of dried fruit—like raisins or dates—can take the edge off my anger without triggering a binge.

I hope you have someone you can talk to—I mean really talk to...

Jubilee77
12-23-2013, 09:46 PM
Congratulations, Jubilee, on going a whole month without binging! Way to go! Actually, we could congratulate each other, because I'm on day 32 without binging.

I hope you have someone you can talk to—I mean really talk to...

Congratulations, Fiona! I didn't realize we had stopped binging around the same time. It definitely is a good thing!

My technique for addressing the feelings that come up is still working, but is now becoming overloaded. Initially, the feelings would appear every few hours, but now they seem to be constant. I'm still processing through the feelings; I'm just falling behind.

I am able to really talk to my husband, but I don't want to overload him, either; he always has a lot of stress at work when the end of the year is here.

Thanks for the encouragement. Keep up the great work!

J.

davina
12-24-2013, 12:53 AM
Im just posting to say hello and basically post because i feel on verge of a binge. I've only been binge free for a few days but thats the longest ive tried in a few years. Something comes over me for a while and suddenly I can resist foods for a short while..But i will likely need to add more food because the dieting mentality is too strong. I just inhaled some almonds and don't want to slip tonight there is an item in the freezer calling my name its a shame i share an apartment and can't fully control what's in my place.

Ive been literally going to buy my meals daily because if I stock up on say lean cuisines I will likely eat more than one.

UH
I will keep try to distract myself tonight


The only Holiday derailment I may face is on Dec 26th which will be my holiday dinner at a buffet. It's too soon for me to go to a buffet but I'm going to eat whatever I feel like for that one meal and try my best not to let it open the floodgates

Fiona W
12-24-2013, 11:15 AM
Good for you, davina, that you came here to post—instead of giving in to the binge! I find it helps me to do that as well: somehow casting the impulse into words makes it easier to resist. It's when the urge is utterly intangible, not verbalized, that's when it takes over your body and actions.

It must be hard to have to share a kitchen with someone else, but is there a way you can clearly demarcate which food is yours? My husband and I share space in the kitchen, but we each have designated areas: one side of the freezer vs. the other side, this cabinet vs. that one. It also helps to develop a very strong mental distinction between what belongs to you, and what belongs to them. If you did not buy it, it's not yours to eat...something like that.

Best wishes for getting through the next few days binge-free!

Fiona W
12-24-2013, 11:23 AM
My technique for addressing the feelings that come up is still working, but is now becoming overloaded. Initially, the feelings would appear every few hours, but now they seem to be constant. I'm still processing through the feelings; I'm just falling behind.

One way to slow the feelings down is to write about them, by hand, in a journal. At any one time, I always have a journal for "spilling"—just writing down exactly what it is I'm feeling, what thoughts are charging through my mind. I don't know it that would be helpful to you, or not—or if you're already doing it.

pixelllate
12-24-2013, 11:31 AM
Im just posting to say hello and basically post because i feel on verge of a binge. I've only been binge free for a few days but thats the longest ive tried in a few years. Something comes over me for a while and suddenly I can resist foods for a short while..But i will likely need to add more food because the dieting mentality is too strong. I just inhaled some almonds and don't want to slip tonight there is an item in the freezer calling my name its a shame i share an apartment and can't fully control what's in my place.

Ive been literally going to buy my meals daily because if I stock up on say lean cuisines I will likely eat more than one.

UH
I will keep try to distract myself tonight


The only Holiday derailment I may face is on Dec 26th which will be my holiday dinner at a buffet. It's too soon for me to go to a buffet but I'm going to eat whatever I feel like for that one meal and try my best not to let it open the floodgates

Davina, if you need to, feel free to totally abstain on the 26th and go for like the cleanest salad possible. I find that when I first start to take control of my diet, it is easy to fall apart during the first few weeks, so I have to start off strict to wean off cravings. For me anyways, the joy of seeing that I actually can say no takes away any scariness of "missing out on big food events" and I feel pretty victorious for doing so.

I found that the best way to modify my old eating habits was to do what I can when I feel ready - so if I am not ready for moderation, I choose to be strict. Almonds and nuts in general are very hard to put down!

missunshine
12-24-2013, 02:31 PM
my mom and my sister found some of my notes/rant about my sugar and weight obsession and other things that bother me in life and i feel so embarassed and i just don't know what to do right now, how to behave around them. they haven't brought it up yet but i heard my sister talking to my other sister over the phone about it and saying how i am much more complexed than they thought :(
i cringe everytime i remember what i wrote in there. things i would never say to anyone especially not to them. aaaaarhhg i'm so mad at myself. i just want to go to store and buy some chocolate and stuff my face with it.
i feel theypre supervising my food even more than before.
i just want this to pass but i know it will be brought up again soon.

davina
12-24-2013, 08:27 PM
It must be hard to have to share a kitchen with someone else, but is there a way you can clearly demarcate which food is yours? My husband and I share space in the kitchen, but we each have designated areas: one side of the freezer vs. the other side, this cabinet vs. that one. It also helps to develop a very strong mental distinction between what belongs to you, and what belongs to them. If you did not buy it, it's not yours to eat...something like that.
Best wishes for getting through the next few days binge-free!
Thank you very much. my roomate is more of a friend and we share foods,etc it's not strict yours/mine in the fridge so I can just help myself to what I want in the freezer. I don't want to really announce I am on a diet because technically I'm not and don't want to go into a long explanation.

Davina, if you need to, feel free to totally abstain on the 26th and go for like the cleanest salad possible. I find that when I first start to take control of my diet, it is easy to fall apart during the first few weeks, so I have to start off strict to wean off cravings. For me anyways, the joy of seeing that I actually can say no takes away any scariness of "missing out on big food events" and I feel pretty victorious for doing so.
I found that the best way to modify my old eating habits was to do what I can when I feel ready - so if I am not ready for moderation, I choose to be strict. Almonds and nuts in general are very hard to put down!
Thanks :) It's chinese so I am thinking of just going for the most protein/veg options, non fried although it's hard as most everything is in some kind of sweet sauce. I don't want it to look like I am dieting to anyone. I agree on the almonds I find yogurt is the one snack that doesn't make me binge so I 'm going to look to incorporate more yogurt snacks in diet.

davina
12-24-2013, 08:30 PM
my mom and my sister found some of my notes/rant about my sugar and weight obsession and other things that bother me in life and i feel so embarassed and i just don't know what to do right now, how to behave around them. they haven't brought it up yet but i heard my sister talking to my other sister over the phone about it and saying how i am much more complexed than they thought :(
i cringe everytime i remember what i wrote in there. things i would never say to anyone especially not to them. aaaaarhhg i'm so mad at myself. i just want to go to store and buy some chocolate and stuff my face with it.
i feel theypre supervising my food even more than before.
i just want this to pass but i know it will be brought up again soon.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know you're exact situation but maybe try ignoring it unless they bring it up. Those are your most personal feelings so you don't have to discuss them if you don't want to. Maybe that is terrible advice and you should ignore me but I've been in similar embarrasing situations and it will pass and be forgotten :)

MeganTheMushroom
12-25-2013, 01:35 PM
my mom and my sister found some of my notes/rant about my sugar and weight obsession and other things that bother me in life and i feel so embarassed and i just don't know what to do right now, how to behave around them. they haven't brought it up yet but i heard my sister talking to my other sister over the phone about it and saying how i am much more complexed than they thought :(
i cringe everytime i remember what i wrote in there. things i would never say to anyone especially not to them. aaaaarhhg i'm so mad at myself. i just want to go to store and buy some chocolate and stuff my face with it.
i feel theypre supervising my food even more than before.
i just want this to pass but i know it will be brought up again soon.


Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry that happened! I don't know what I would do if my parents and siblings read the private things I write, whether about food/weight issues or other personal things. One thing I have learned from having private things become not so private is that people eventually forget. Forgetfulness can be a blessing :hug:
This brings up something I've been thinking a lot about lately- how insecure I am. I have such poor self-esteem. I can't imagine how awful my mom would feel if she knew how down on myself I can be. I tell myself that if I lose weight I'll feel better about myself, but I hate the idea that my weight determines my self-esteem. Well, since I got home last wednesday, I've been working out most days, and that alone has been helping.

Some more good news- After the first couple of days of being home, I straightened out my eating habits a lot and have been doing well. I weighed in at 167 yesterday, which is great! Today would be Day 6, but I'm going to take today off for the holiday and will resume tomorrow.

I really hope that by the end of this break, I will have developed better habits and when I get back to school, I'll be able to control myself more.
Happy Holidays everyone! I hope they're not too challenging to get through! :)

EskaDee
12-29-2013, 07:14 PM
missunshine I just wanted to add that I bet you are dwelling on this more than your mom and sister are, even though it might not feel that way at the moment. This too shall pass and you don't need to binge to get through it. I'm sorry that has thrown you though :hug:
I have been pretty lax about eating and exercise the last week (like everyone else I'm sure! ) and today I bought a huge bag of salted popcorn, one of my biggest binge triggers :mad:. However, I've just eaten half of it and put it away because I'm full. I've never done that before- I usually inhale binge food completely in minutes even if I've eaten a 3 course meal and I'm about to go to a feast! I couldn't think of anyone else to share this with and I'm really feeling like this is a successful and positive step. Well, either a success or an indication that I really have eaten too much over Christmas :shrug: I probably shouldn't have even eaten that first half bag but I did stop. I did!

Fiona W
12-30-2013, 06:43 PM
Hello Binge Free and Overeating Free Folks! I'm reading a great book on...well, it's hard to describe what it's about. I would say that so far it's about how to co-exist peacefully with one's thought patterns—thought patterns about eating, about exercise, about losing weight, about housework, about everything. Instead of being a self-help book, it seems like a book on not needing self-help books anymore. It's Amy Johnson's Being Human (http://www.amazon.com/Being-Human-Essays-Thoughtmares-Bouncing/dp/0615870279/). It's already helping me feel more at peace, and I've only read a few dozen pages. It's the kind of book you want to stop reading frequently, just to absorb what the author is saying. It induces a state of mindfulness, a state of relaxed meditation.

My diet is going well, and I'm still binge-free. I just realized today that while going on the Atkins diet and sticking to it carefully was the cause of my binge behavior—my "storm eating," to use Brooke Castillo's phrase—that's actually not a bad thing. It's like I got all my self-sabotaging eating under one roof—cookie binges—which made it easier to deal with. Once Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge showed me how to get rid of my urges to binge, and I did so, now I feel at peace with the diet.

mainecyn
12-31-2013, 09:26 PM
After a week long binge I am trying to pull myself together and attack this situation for January. I'm tired of being held prisoner by food. Food is a love Hate relationship for me. Its that poisonous lover that I keep returning to, even though I know the relationship is unhealthy I return to the behavior. I get something out of it but don't know what, positive wise, I only see negitive, the self Hate, the horrible emotional and physical response I get from the binge. I have felt like a super hero, the amazing pack food away woman able to eat three times her body size. Ive eaten to the point of being sick, bloated, miserable, gas and constipation all super attractive. An online friend reminded me that years ago I went on a fat fast or a period of time when I ate mostly protien to kill any and all cravings. I am debating doing that again. I have binged so badly and lied to my family for a week about food that has disappeared, loves of bread, boxes of cookies, containers of ice cream, cakes bags of chips, a bag of peanut butter cups. Ive binged each day and have been thrilled to get up first to be able to eat, or raid the freezer while husband is in tub.

Jubilee77
01-01-2014, 01:00 AM
After a week long binge I am trying to pull myself together and attack this situation for January. I'm tired of being held prisoner by food. Food is a love Hate relationship for me. Its that poisonous lover that I keep returning to, even though I know the relationship is unhealthy I return to the behavior. I get something out of it but don't know what, positive wise, I only see negitive, the self Hate, the horrible emotional and physical response I get from the binge. I have felt like a super hero, the amazing pack food away woman able to eat three times her body size. Ive eaten to the point of being sick, bloated, miserable, gas and constipation all super attractive. An online friend reminded me that years ago I went on a fat fast or a period of time when I ate mostly protien to kill any and all cravings. I am debating doing that again. I have binged so badly and lied to my family for a week about food that has disappeared, loves of bread, boxes of cookies, containers of ice cream, cakes bags of chips, a bag of peanut butter cups. Ive binged each day and have been thrilled to get up first to be able to eat, or raid the freezer while husband is in tub.

:hug: Keep your chin up.

J.

Fiona W
01-01-2014, 11:01 AM
mainecyn— Have you read Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge? Your intelligence and self-awareness suggests that you're exactly the kind of person who could make good use of Hansen's technique. For me it's been a real game changer. Not only have I been binge-free ever since I read it, I don't even have the urges anymore. It's such a relief to be rid of that maladaptive behavior pattern!

MeganTheMushroom
01-01-2014, 01:05 PM
Happy New Year everyone!
I've been bad about posting here lately,
but today is Day 4, and I've been going very strong. I had some salty snacks and wine last night to celebrate, but nothing crazy. I had a banana this morning, then got hungry so I snacked on carrots, kale, and hummus. I'm going out to eat with a friend in a couple hours, so I need to make sure I'm plenty hungry for a big restaurant meal.

I hope 2014 brings success to all of you! :)