[kateleestar]

And I know that sounds so selfish. I understand that, lol...

Backstory: I lost, with the help of this wonderful place, about 100lbs in '11-'12. (Note: I'm the kind of person, that if I don't work out, no matter my calorie intake, I will gain.) I was at 172ish all through the holidays, and at the start of 2013. In April, we found out we were pregnant... Yey! In May, on Mothers Day no less, we miscarried. I was mentally almost okay - the mental part wasnt my 'hard to deal with' part, it took a huge toll on my body. I was off for a week from work, I was told by my OBGYN to stop working out, and I felt completely awful... I'm guessing from blood loss? Anywho, in about 10 days, I think I gained 15lbs, lol. I ate anything that I could keep down. I was... horrid.

I was told I had to take it 'easy' for a while. That's fine, I get it. I went from doing my ellipical for a 1/2 hour a day, doing a Leslie Sansone walking DVD and running on my treadmill, doing zumba 4 times a week to.... nothing. It was... it sucked. So bad.

Here I am, taking it easy, feeling awful for about a month... Slowly, I started eating better again, walking on my t-mill... and then, early August, we got pregnant again. The first 15weeks, I felt like death. I didn't throw up a lot, I was just nauseted 24/7. Car rides sucked, walking too fast sucked, standing sucked... it just sucked. I'm much better now, but I've put on about 20lbs... 35 total. And I'M FREAKING OUT. Like, I know its for a great, awesome reason, yes. I know.

I was in weight loss mode for 26 months. It's all I did. Every food/body decision I made revolved around it. I'm finding that the most difficult part of being pregnant isnt the change to my body - I was fat almost all my life, stretch marks don't scar me, having a belly is nothing.... its getting to my 'oh no, i've gotten too big, oh no!' place/weight and I'm freaking out, lol.

Any advice? Any thoughts? Anyone been there and have a hard time mentally watching that number tick back up while you tried to get it to go down for SO LONG?

I'm going to the grocery store tonight, getting all my salad supplies, so can have those as snacks, and I'm planning all my meals for the next two weeks.

(ps, sorry if there are letters/spaces missing. My keyboard doesn't like making new messages!)

THANKS in advance, everyone!!

[Ishbel]

Hi Kate,

I'm with you, I lost from my highest recorded 151 lbs and now I'm watching it creep up with the intention that it must be slow. It's difficult and I feel selfish also. I'm also not allowed to complain about it to too many people as then it's 'complaining' and I should be happy being pregant. I'm SO very happy but when you work hard at getting it off and work hard at keeping it off, releasing the reins mentally is very tough.

I keep telling myself it's temporary and for a obviously a good reason...also that I'm using the healthy habits I learned losing and using those to gain in a healthy way. Most of my choices are good choices but I still indulge and still feel guilty as I can't 'fix' the indulgence now.

I've had a bit of a rough go as I was running up between 5-8 km 3 times a week and then I was told not to run and then told not to walk. Recently I came down with a sinus infection and I'm so READY to get back to a consistent routine for exercise.

I'm due at the end of May, when are you due?

[Pink Hurricane]

I am also right there with you! And hey, we must have the same due date because our pregnancy tickers are the same haha!

Anyways I understand what you are going through when it comes to the weight gain during pregnancy. I also had lost a large amount of weight back in '10-'11 and maintained throughout most of '12. After I married my wonderful husband, I slowly started gaining, and within our first year of marriage I had put back on 40 pounds! When we found out we were pregnant we were so excited! But the gaining part scared me a bit. I have gained about 16 lbs so far, and I am starting to gain more consistently. During my first trimester I lost a little weight due to extreme nausea, but the second trimester hunger has changed that haha!

The most important thing to remember is that this gain is just temporary, as soon as we both birth our precious babies into the world, we will be able to work on our bodies again! I know it is so, so hard mentally to see the number on the scale go up, but try not to let it bother you too much. I know that is much easier said than done, but remember this is for our babies! I am spending my pregnancy creating permanent healthy habits to stick with me after baby comes too! I am truly the happiest I can be right now regardless of the gain!

I eat healthy, lightly exercise a few days a week with light yoga and strength training, and enjoy my cravings when they hit too! All that matters is that you and your baby are healthy, the weight part will be taken care of after baby comes! Take this time to create healthy habits or keep the ones you have, be kind to yourself, be in awe of what your body is doing and what your body is capable of, and always remember the gain is only temporary! But if you ever need someone to talk to, please PM me because I really do understand where you are coming from and you are not alone!!!!

Congrats on your pregnancy, and also congrats to Ishbel on your pregnancy too!