40-Somethings - New and desperate

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11-18-2013, 12:34 AM
hi there,
I'm new here although not new to the weight loss thing. Needing some hope, I'm panicking a bit very quietly to myself and I need to lose about 30 lbs. hormones have gone cray cray on me and I am in the later months of "just about to be menopausal"... My abdomen and torso fat has become overwhelmingly an issue in recent weeks. My stress is big, this year I have expanded caregiving to my DH, my MIL, and my Mom. I am a prior Atkins grad that somehow I've fallen off the wagon and I just can't seem to face eating eggs for breakfast anymore, used to love eggs... Ate gobs and gobs of em on Atkins. Yikes, scary place for me, any encouragement welcome. I just need some hope I've got to start over and I'm so discouraged. Thanks, Javagal84

11-18-2013, 07:47 AM
Hey Javagal... take some deep breaths and then get started on your journey one step at a time.. I can't tell you how to lose the weight, but I'm happy to be part of your cheer squad if you need it.

No matter how overwhelming it seems right now, you can tackle this and get on top of it. :)

And welcome.. :)

Mrs Snark
11-18-2013, 07:53 AM
Hi there Java, WELCOME, and hang in there! As Bindii says, DEEP BREATHS, you can do this!

If Atkins worked for you in the past maybe start again? Try something non traditional for breakfast -- like ham and cheese rollups, or BLT lettuce wraps or something?

If you can get yourself on a bit of a roll I think your stress level will drop, which I'm sure would be a big relief. You have ALOT on your plate, so I imagine you'll want to keep it simple.

We're here for you!

11-18-2013, 09:25 AM
Thank you Bindii and Mrs Snark.
I really appreciate the support, somehow I do better being part of a group like this; helps for all the tedious but important stuff that I need to talk about but I know my DH doesn't completely get. He's great btw, but you know, he's not a lifetime dieter, and guys have such a different experience than us gals when it comes to weight loss. Since we've both hit our middle age together, I'm finding that he does struggle more than he used to, and we do work together on eating and trying to be fit. He's a gem. I know I'm totally blessed with him b/c I've known of other women who have guys that trash them for being not model skinny. Thank God I don't have that problem to add to my list, guys who trash me for being too chubby. I love my DH.

Ok, well thanks to your support here, I had the courage to face my scale this am. This is a huge thing. I've actually found myself in fear of stepping on in recent weeks. Fear. At one point DH helped me get on and only he looked at the number and was so sweet and supportive. Honestly I think the fear of seeing my weight break over 200 is what makes me run away. -sigh- there, I named it. Today I took a good long look at the mirror (face! Not full length!) and decided to guess where I thought I was before I got on. Just to try to be brave. Well, I guessed and then got on. My actual number was EXACTLY what I had guessed in my head. Wow.

So for the many-th time, I have a starting weight. 195.0 just totally relieved it wasn't 200 or more. My all-time high was 212.5, that was about 10 years back. I don't want to go there ever again. Ever. EVER.

Goal now? Mm. Realistically, about 35 pounds. -sigh- I've worked so hard in the past, and now I've got to start over. Again. Face palm. But what is the alternative? Denial. Nope. I've never lost weight or kept it off with denial.

Not sure exactly what I'm going to do from here, but I know I've got to make a plan of some sort. Thanks for the suggestions. Oh, one other thing about me. I am chemically sensitive, so there are certain things I never eat anymore because I will get siiiiiiiiiiick. I call it frankenfood. Cool whip for one. Leave off sour cream. Skip the pickles. Sad for those last two, love both of those. No, it's the chemicals that get me. Specifically propylene glycol and any derivatives, such as polysorbates.

I ramble. Sorry. Just wanted to say thank you and yay I have a starting weight. Again. Have a good Monday.

11-18-2013, 11:42 AM
Congrats for looking for support and wanting to make a change!!! Take one day at a time, breath and take care of yourself. Everyone makes choices from time to time that are "falling of some sort of wagon"
...however see the power in that you want to get back on the wagon :)

Mrs Snark
11-18-2013, 01:08 PM
Great job getting on the scale Javagal. Sometimes doing something we fear like that is what we need to do get back on track and to make a serious break with what we've been doing (misbehaving with food) and embrace a new plan (being healthy!).

Come join us on the chat thread, lots of great support there!

11-19-2013, 09:50 AM
Thank you Diana,
Yes one day at a time. True, good point about power. I think we become really good at negating our own power, discounting ourselves, when we should be looking for ways to empower ourselves.

And that is so true, Mrs Snark, facing our fears and actually doing something is a key to breaking with past misbehavior. I run and run away in my own mind but that is no solution, and I know it. Sometimes it's painful to be honest with myself, but it hurts more when I can't fit into my clothes and I do see people flinch or raise their eyebrows when they see me so heavy.

I am strong. I am beautiful. I am intelligent. I matter. I love myself enough to care how I live.

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I will join in the monthly chat thread. See you over there :)

11-20-2013, 01:42 PM
Welcome, javagal :coffee:

Sounds like you are a whirlwind of energy. Great job facing the scale, and getting back on the horse yet again... I've been there. I think we all have.

Good luck!