30-Somethings - How do you filter out the bad weight loss advice?




KarlieB123
11-12-2013, 12:39 PM
So we've all had friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, random strangers who see you're on a weight loss journey and then feel like they absolutely HAVE to give you their advice. We have all heard it... "Have you tried the cayenne pepper, lemon juice, death cleanse?" or "You have to avoid all carbs and white foods" or the "You need to do Pilates, My sisters best-friends brothers cousin lost 100LBS!!!" . I've done some research and ultimately have come to the conclusion that the best change for me is whole healthy foods, and moderation/portion control. My question is... with all of the diets, Secretly Unhealthy Healthy recipes, New Exercises, etc... How do you wade through the crazy and find what the healthiest options are?


elvislover324
11-12-2013, 12:53 PM
Honestly, I didn't tell anyone (except my husband, of course) that I was on a diet. I didn't want anyone's opinions or advice, I had a doctor's office monitoring and guiding me and they were the only ones I listened to.

I also didn't see many people for the 10 months it took for me to get these pounds off and by the time they saw me, no words came out when their jaw dropped to the ground. Instead, they just stared at me and most said nothing because of the shock plus it was apparent that whatever I was doing was working for me.

It's too stressful when people know I'm dieting. I feel like they watch every bite or sip I take. It's a little harder now as people want to know what and how I eat to mimic the results. The best thing about it? It keeps me on track from taking Doritos or pizza in a group setting as I'd rather be thinner than eat that stuff. It doesn't mean I don't eat it, it just means I eat in my own controlled setting (never where there are endless bowls of junk or stacks of pizza to feast on).

Wishing you lots of luck!

LaurieDawn
11-12-2013, 12:53 PM
"Healthy" is such a difficult adjective. I take supplements. Fish oil, daily multivitamin, lysine, magnesium, calcium, iron, vitamin C and biotin. I do this because my calories are fairly low, and it's sort of an "insurance" against potential malnutrition issues. I had a coworker walk by my office as I unloaded the pills (I don't like to eat right when I wake up, and the pills upset my stomach if I don't have anything in it, so mid-morning work tends to work best to take them.) and we talked about possible mercury in the fish oil (even though it's filtered for mercury), and I came to the conclusion I always reach. With all that I've read about nutrition and exercise, I can tell you why your plan, regardless of which plan it is, is unhealthy. Heck - I even have a friend who believes that veggies are not good for people. But I will never criticize anyone's plan, unless they specifically ask for feedback because it's not working for them. Then, I only brainstorm with them. What each person puts into her mouth is a very personal choice.

So, I think you have to just accept that you will not find the "healthiest options." You will just find what works for you. And I promise - it will almost certainly be healthier than the diet that helped you gain weight in the first place. In my mind, I am not choosing between the vast variety of "diets" out there. I am choosing between my "gain lots of weight really fast" diet that got me so heavy and a new way of eating. And for the new way of eating to be healthy for me, it just has to be better than the way I would eat without a diet plan. Which means it has to be sustainable. I cannot subsist on beets alone. It has to be palatable. I do not want to drink cayenne pepper lemonade. And it has to help me lose weight. Not Uncle Johnny. Not Cousin Steve. Me. Once I've decided (and believe me -- the decision changes frequently. I used to eat egg whites virtually every day. Not so into them any more. But ranch-flavored Starkist tuna packets - Heck yeah!), I listen to see if a new exercise fad or great new food fits into my goals and my lifestyle. If it does, bring it on! If not, I say how happy I am for the suggester's sister's best friend's brother and maybe even throw in a "It's great to hear other people are successful. It inspires me." and move on with life.


KarlieB123
11-12-2013, 01:29 PM
Thanks for the inspiration ladies. I like the attitude of it has to work for me and my life!

kaplods
11-12-2013, 02:56 PM
Weight loss advice, really isn't (or doesn't have to be) any different than all the other advice we filter through every day.

Sharing opinions and giving advice (solicited or not) is often as natural (and as unconscious) as breathing.

For some strange reason "bad" weight loss advice tends to stir up more controversy than other types of "bad" advice.

I don't like the term "bad" when it comes to describing opinions and advice (thus the quotes), because usually the opinions and advice are useful to someone (even if only the person sharing).

On a daily basis, we get (and give) lots of opinions and advice that aren't as helpful as we would like. We sort through it by judging whether it fits logically with everything else we think and believe. If it doesn't fit, we can ignore it, look for more information, or we can experiment to see if it might work for us. If it does fit, we have pretty much the same choices.

Weight loss, parenting, finances, education, career path, dating, marriage, politics, religion, medication, recreation, entertainment... we filter through a lot of well-meant, but (to us) useless advice.

I'm not sure why, but weight loss advice often is given more weight than even dating, career, marriage, and parenting advice. It makes me wonder whether we (as a culture) are more afraid of screwing up weight loss than screwing up our personal lives and relationships?

Kinda soap-boxy, but I wonder sometimes if we're not taught to make weight loss harder and more complicated than it has to be. And maybe, if we treated weight management more like everything else we successfully accomplish in our lives, it would be easier and more successful.

Fiona W
11-12-2013, 03:14 PM
I think everyone has to flail around a bit through different efforts to lose weight and keep it off, but that once you find a plan that works for you, stick with it.

Everyone's body is different. No one can tell you what to do. Have the strength of your convictions! And don't argue with the people who disagree: just ignore them.

Courage!! We are rooting for you here on 3FC. =grin=

CJinTX
11-21-2013, 06:27 PM
I agree with what everyone else is saying. Use the ideas that work for you and ignore the rest. For me, it's about portion control, moderation, eating more fruit/veg than carbs (but not obsessing about carbs) and exercising more. That seems to be helping a lot.

I have a friend who is easily 100 pounds overweight (probably more). I have no idea how much she weighs, but anyone who looks at her can tell she weighs too much. She has great difficulty walking and probably couldn't fit in an airplane seat. She has health issues and tries many of the "supplements" and such that she hears about. Personally, I couldn't do that, but who am I to tell her what she's doing is wrong?

Becky Quilts
12-04-2013, 10:21 AM
I've done some research and ultimately have come to the conclusion that the best change for me is whole healthy foods, and moderation/portion control.

I think you said it best, yourself! Now, can you find a way to put it so you can repeat it comfortably?

Another option is to smile and say thanks. (I'm guessing they're just trying to offer support and advise.) And after, stick to your plan. If they're nosy enough to prod more, repeat your words above, you've thought it through.

pixelllate
12-05-2013, 12:36 PM
I get a TON of unsolicited advice because I look young for my age and like I just jumped into the working world.

I just regard it like how I get other advice, "If I wanted to do what everyone else did, I'd end up like everyone else (sometimes good? sometimes...not so much!)" and usually its the "unsaid" advice (seeing little signs here and there) which are really valuable. Maybe its the Sociologist major in me, but I love reading little signs and observations. So I just try to analyze advice and make observations before I decide if I incorporate it into my own life cause some of it might be of use to me =)