Dieting with Obstacles - Twin holding me back

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11-11-2013, 07:06 AM
Hi there!
I think this is the right forum, please feel free to move it if its not.

I have been gone a while (a whole bunch of personal issues) and now im ready to get back on track - theres just one detail - my twin!

I have an identical twin and we have always been the same size and have shared clothes our whole lives, but now with me loosing weight and her not (she just doesn't seem to want to, I have tried to help and motivate her but she always slipped off the band wagon)
We are different sizes, clothes that are too small for her slip right off of me and its making her jealous and feel bad about herself, which makes me feel bad - I don't want her to be the "Fat twin" but she wont lose the weight so I find myself subconsciously sabotaging my diet and exercise regime so I don't lose any more weight (infact I have gained) but then it makes me feel low about myself and resent her!
Also it feels weird not being identical anymore, people have no problems telling us apart where as before even my parents got us muddled up and it feels like im loosing something, if that makes sence.

Any ideas on how to get past this?
I really want to lose the rest of the weight but not at the expense if my sisters self esteem.

11-12-2013, 12:05 AM
I have a similar issue with my cousin. We are not identical, but we have always been the same size. I have tried to get her involved and lose weight with me, but she not showing any interest. I have gotten to the point where I have to do what is best for me, and I hope one day she will decide to do the same for herself. I think that is the best you can do. You are not responsible for your sister's self esteem, and if you stop losing weight just for her, where does that leave you?

11-12-2013, 02:50 AM
my head tells me that's logical and its great advice but I cant seem to stop sabatoging myself!
i think i need to try make it a conscious effort to stay on track no matter what.
she will be out of town for a few weeks so maybe if i reach my goal weight by the it wont be so bad.........

11-12-2013, 09:05 PM
I would definitely say do everything you can while she is not there. Maybe seeing you happy after reaching your goal will motivate her to reach hers!

12-12-2013, 11:03 PM
I suggest having a straightforward talk with your sister and telling her what you just told us. Getting the subtext out in the open removes some of its power, in my experience.