Chicks in Control - Binge Free and Overeating Free in November




Mrs Snark
11-01-2013, 10:34 AM
New thread for November. :)

November and December -- tough months for those of us who have problems with overeating and binging! Junky foods all around, social pressure, holiday parties, family gatherings, yikes!

If you would like to stop your old habit of binging or overeating, please join us! It's not about being perfect, it's about changing habits. Little by little, we can stop this destructive behavior together. It takes time to reach this goal of not turning to food when we become emotional, but we can do this together.

Let's be binge free or overeating free this month!


LisaTcan
11-01-2013, 10:42 AM
Hi everyone! I'm going to try and join in this month! Last month was a bad month for me with overeating and binging as I was visiting my family who make me very stressed and have bad eating habits. I'm going to try and really stay on track this month. I'm one of those people who doesn't like to speak up if when i'm not doing well. Hope everyone has a great November!!

momwithdogs
11-01-2013, 11:00 AM
Thank you for starting this thread, Mrs S:carrot:

For whatever reason, I am so thankful for this thread, where as in real life if I were stuck with a group who felt the need to talk about one's feelings and hug it out on a daily basis, I'd pluck out my eyes with a soup spoon.;)

Roll on Thanksgiving!:^:

Welcome Lisa!:hug:


Mrs Snark
11-01-2013, 11:15 AM
Later today, Momwithdogs will be leading us in a round of Kumbayah. Don't miss it.

;)

mainecyn
11-01-2013, 11:54 AM
I finished out October on a high note, been more than a week since my last "binge". I have been eating clean and keeping control of myself, shocked and happy. Its been a day to day thing, but I'm doing it. Halloween is a difficult time. This is the first year that I haven't gotten up early to hit the stores and buy up all the leftover halloween candy that I can get ahold of. My thought process has always told me, well if your gonna binge might as well save money. So, i would go out and buy $20-30 worth of chocolate candy, stash them away and feel confident with myself.

I haven't stepped on the scale because I don't want to upset myself with no loss. But, I have done well and gotten stronger every day eating low carb again. I also have reminded myself that low carb doesn't mean over eating on other items and not counting calories that I have always needed to count because I gain over a certain amount of calories no matter low carb or not.

momwithdogs
11-01-2013, 12:24 PM
Later today, Momwithdogs will be leading us in a round of Kumbayah. Don't miss it.

;)

Don't forget to bring your guitar and the kool-aid!;)

MeganTheMushroom
11-01-2013, 01:00 PM
I was doing very well last weekend- no binging, I was on my feet a lot, monday went well, and tuesday ended with a bad binge of corn chips, salsa, no bake cookies (essential wads of chocolate, peanutbutter, and sugar), and cereal. Wednesday was good, I even managed to stop a binge!,
Yesterday was Halloween and I was a little loose. I had a minor binge, but I was good for the rest of the night.

And today is officially Day 1 of no binging, no minor ones. I worked out this morning for a half hour (not too long, but at least I'm getting back into morning work outs), had a good breakfast, and now lunch- soup and bread.

I also weighed myself for the first time in months today- 170lbs. I was shocked! I thought it was going to be a lot more. So this is good, and good motivation! :)

I hope we all have great weekends! It's going to be another busy one for me, but at least I will be active and have no time to binge!

thesame7lbs
11-01-2013, 07:35 PM
Well, unfortunately I am not here to report on my Halloween success or even my today-so-far success, but at least I got a good laugh courtesy of MomWithDogs and Mrs. Snark -- so thank you, ladies!

Looking forward to working with everyone here to make November binge-free, OA-free, and full of smilies. :bubbles:

(never noticed that one before)

fatwillburnyou
11-01-2013, 08:47 PM
Count me in!
I've had absolutely no control in october and gained back all the weight that i've lost and it needs to stop so im going to try and give my all to make this month binge free or at least eat in moderation and just enjoy myself once in a week with ONE cheat meal and not a cheat day. Its going to be tough though but its worth a shot. I can do this!!!!:cool:

MeganTheMushroom
11-01-2013, 10:27 PM
Today was tough, and I definitely ate too much, but not nearly as much as I wanted too, and still want to, but I brushed my teeth and am done for the day.
Day 1 complete

Bilbi
11-01-2013, 11:22 PM
October wasn't a month to remember. Lets hope November will be better. November 1 wasn't that great. OK, who am I kidding, it was terrible, but what's one bad day when there are 29 more days to go.

darius
11-02-2013, 01:54 AM
Hello I would like to join this thread for November. I will weigh in on Fridays. Starting out:
1 Nov.....0 lb lost

Mrs Snark
11-02-2013, 09:05 AM
Good morning ladies, hope the weekend is treating you right, or at least doesn't have you tied up with Twizzlers and locked in a closet!

I'm looking at the month ahead and mostly thinking: GAAAaaaaah! Already the parties have started (I have one to go to tonight). I've decided I'm going to start meditating every day, or at least doing some positive visualization quiet time (sometimes my mind is just too darn busy to truly meditate) to help me focus on my goals, and why they are important to me, and why they are worth the effort. I can use every advantage I can get!

What strategies are you planning to deal with the temptations of the month?

Welcome Lisa! It is certainly easier to talk about the good days than it is to talk about the bad ones. But sometimes coming and sharing a cruddy day can help stop a slide into more binging and help get the goals back in focus!

Mainecyn - You sound like you're in the groove and are feeling good, congratulations! My husband and I used to do the same thing with the after-holiday candy sales, we'd be waaay out of control. But no more!

Same7lbs - Hang in there, I'm glad the challenges of Halloween are behind us at least! I hate having candy in the house, even candy I can't eat because it isn't vegan just makes me think about candy all the time (like a zombie with braaaaaiiiinnnnnssss!). I swear I can SMELL the stuff from all the way across the house!

Fatwillburnyou - Welcome! You CAN do this!

Megan - Great job on completing Day 1! When you wake up this morning take some time to be proud of the fact that you completed day 1 and exercised restraint. Day 1 is so darn hard, it really is!

Hey Bilbi - there is still plenty of time to make November a good month, one day at a time!

Welcome Darius!

LisaTcan
11-02-2013, 11:28 AM
Hi everyone! I made it through Halloween without eating any Halloween candy and then had a pretty awful day yesterday. I had an afternoon snack of 2 brownies and eggnog (I love it when this stuff hits the stores, it's my fav) and then went to the movies with my fiance and had a whole box of movie theatre candy. I felt bad but I came home and logged all my calories and I was at a semi OK 2200. I also did a Pilates and a spin class yesterday..so hopefully I won't gain. Today is a new day!

Megan - congrats on the way in!

Mrs. Snark - Thank you! This seems like a very supportive thread.

Mainecyn - That is a pretty good Halloween victory! I was sooo tempted at Target yesterday to buy tons of mini chocolate bars.

thesame7lbs
11-02-2013, 12:50 PM
Bilbi, welcome! I had a horrible day yesterday, too. So bad I was up in the middle of the night with sweats, chills, and nausea. Ugh! The way I'm looking at it is... November can only get better!

Mainecyn, I'm so happy for you! You have made so much progress since you started posting. :)

Welcome, fatwillburn and darius! Let's make November great!

Megan, I need to remember the brushing-the-teeth idea. Even in the middle of the afternoon, maybe right after lunch to get me through to dinner.

LisaT, pat yourself on the back for tracking. I think that's an important step in taking responsibility for your actions (one that I have not been doing).

Mrs Snark, I need to come up with some strategies, but I'm feeling at a loss. I'm nervous because November 2010 is when I really spiraled out of control and began my worst period of binging. I know I am in full control of what I put in mouth and I am not doomed to repeat the past, but I wish I felt more powerful, less powerless. Redundant, I know, but I wish for both!

momwithdogs
11-02-2013, 01:18 PM
Well, I waited around the campfire last night and no one showed!:tantrum:;)

Hope everyone has a fab Saturday! I had a sort of epiphany this morning; I ate lentil soup for breakfast bc it's what I wanted. Who knew it was ok to eat soup for breakfast?!:D

I'm going to try some IE and see if I can make it work.

ILoveVegetables
11-02-2013, 03:26 PM
Hi guys, hope everyone is doing great. I'd like to join in for this thread as well.

My house has been and will be pretty crowded for a few weeks, which was also why I stopped posting in the October thread and may not be too regular in this one, but I'll check in as much as I can.

October was a far from perfect month for me, but my portions have definitely reduced significantly with much less eating between meals and almost no nighttime snacking. This month I want to focus on reducing my portions further and go back to my exercising, so let's see how it goes.

Mrs Snark
11-03-2013, 10:56 AM
Morning all! Happy Sunday!

Well, I made it through my party last night perfectly, but it was the "after party" that was hardest for me. It is so much easier to be in control when people are around and EXPECT me to be in control. The group of people I was with last night now totally expect me not to eat -- because that's my usual strategy. So I don't eat, and that part works fine (I always eat a healthy meal either before or after).

But when I leave the party and then am alone, I swear the monsters are twice as bad for me. But I was on guard for that and managed to get through it. Yesterday was a really exemplary day of eating for me -- really good choices, the right amount (I think, I'm trying to lose a bit more weight so the amount of food is somewhat experimental at this point). And even though I did struggle some, I was ready for the possibility and was OK when all was said and done. Still, I'd like today to be struggle-free please, I'm mentally tired!

ILoveVeggies -- Perfection is overrated. When I can look back on a month and think "that was a pretty decent month overall" I call that a WIN!

Momwithdogs -- I got lost on the way to the campsite -- I was too busy hugging trees and talking to the bluebirds. I look forward to hearing about your experience with IE. And I eat dinner food for breakfast fairly often, good stuff!

Lisa -- I swear sometimes the day AFTER a day we've had to be super on guard for is even harder than the day we were so worried about in the first place (does that make sense?). Like our defenses are weakened because we expended so much energy avoiding Halloween candy that the day AFTER Halloween becomes a nightmare! Hang in there!

Same7 -- I hate that feeling of powerlessness, it really stinks, so stressful. I know you can make it through the holiday season without spiraling (and I know I can too). Come Jan 1st we will be looking back and saying, "Hey, we did pretty darn good the last 2 months!". I look forward to that moment, we will be proud.

geoblewis
11-03-2013, 11:58 AM
Well, there you are! Thanx for the redirect, Snarkie. :)

I am feeling quite motivated this morning. I fasted yesterday, made it till the 21st hour when I caved while cooking dinner and had a cheese sandwich. For dinner: grilled chicken thighs, salad with avocado, roasted butternut squash and Brussels sprouts. Didn't hold back on the olive oil and butter either. I can put away 1200 calories in a meal! :D

My motivation today is to do it all again. When I used to do an all-day fast, I would eat about 1900 calories between 5 and 10 pm. Kinda defeated the reason I fasted, to cut down on calories. I can really eat a lot at one sitting. But since I've worked on not eating until I was overfull, I guess I'm able to eat less at one sitting, as long as I'm not eyeing dessert or cocktails after dinner.

So tonight's dinner is lamb chops, split pea soup, dandelion greens with olive oil, and braised green beans with tomatoes. A classic Greek meal from my childhood, so I guess this is my comfort food. Just counted the calories...1280. I plan to eat dinner around 7 pm, but if I'm still hungry later, I have leftover butternut squash and Brussels sprouts.

Trying to stick to a 10 pm bedtime. This is a struggle for me, but I did notice that getting enough sleep, like at least 7.5 hours, seems to be the best defense against overeating the next day. Troubleshooting. It's all about the troubleshooting with me.

mainecyn
11-03-2013, 01:12 PM
Good day today. I have followed my induction for a week now, eating strictly and not over eating. I am down 4 lbs.

I am feeling better and stronger. I keep telling myself that I can do this. Last night I wanted to eat in all honesty. I made myself think about it last night and really evaluated what I was thinking and feeling. I decided to start by eating something with fat and protein, couple bites. I still felt hungry, actually hungry. I decided after thinking about what I'd eaten during the day I probably was hungry and needed more protein. I had skipped lunch because i wasn't hungry and only ate half my breakfast. I decided to compromise, I had a dish of sf jello that was made with adding unsweetened whipping cream in the mixing process. I ate half of it, then put the rest away.

Today would have been a challenge. It was supposed to be a birthday party for my children's grandfather. These types of activities are usually difficult for me. I can do well at the party with everyone watching. Then I get home and tell myself how well i did and how i deserve a reward because I must be strong enough to just eat a little something I shouldn't..then it becomes out of control. The party has been cancelled due to illness. But, like you Mrs. Snark, parties are difficult for me and I try to avoid them.

HuggerBunny
11-03-2013, 06:04 PM
I would like to join this thread, too :) Can we just talk about how we're doing with eating this month and encourage/chat with other members?

My eating has been pretty good so far this month. For some reason yesterday I kept thinking about the Halloween candy we have, specifically the mini 100 grand bars. On Halloween itself I told myself I could have as much candy as I wanted (this was planned ahead of time, not a spur of the moment decision) and I only had a couple of pieces! I'm telling myself to wait until my next free meal next week and I can have my little piece of candy then :) This from someone who, in pre-diet days, would enjoy sweet things on occasion but usually ended up throwing away candy and ice cream because I don't eat it before it gets stale/freezer burned. My repeated thinking about the candy is kind of odd for me. Could totally see myself daydreaming about mac and cheese or biscuits or mashed potatoes or any number of other starchy, savory wonders, but not really sweets.

It's kind of funny that my diet started right before Halloween, which leads into Thanksgiving, which leads into Christmas... Great choice, huh, HuggerBunny?! Last time I tried to lose some weight, I started around the same time and did okay for a month but then Christmas cookies happened (I do love baking at Christmas time and used to make all of our favorites!) and I threw in the towel. That will not happen this time, though!!

I've already planned out exactly what I'm cooking for Thanksgiving. Decided to make what I normally would, but halve the recipes so we won't have as much in the way of leftovers. Then the day after T-Day, I'm going to make a really tasty sounding baked butternut squash and cauliflower recipe I found that is diet friendly and can take the place of some of the less healthy leftovers, which my husband can have.

Is it okay for me to ask what people are making for Thanksgiving, or is that frowned upon in this thread? I don't want anyone to read about yummy food and then feel bad and end up binging!

mainecyn
11-03-2013, 06:47 PM
Honestly, it doesn't sound odd that you are trying to set up a plan on what you might be cooking a serving for the holidays. I have found that planning the meals out often helps me the most, especially if we are going to he Grandparents for holidays..which is almost always. I visualize just what will be on the menu, its never varied in 25 years. So, I start from there.

I know one Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, there will be two sources of protien. There is always turkey and ham. From there it up to me to fill out the rest of my meals because the only other things my inlaws have are potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and pie. Always the same.

I always, always, bring a veggies tray, includes cheese stuffed celery, baby carrots for kids, and any other lc fresh veggies I have. I made a homemade Greek yogurt dip with dill or roast pepper..I include many types of olives and pickles on this tray not the general run of the mill ones but specialty ones.

Besides the tray, deviled eggs. Without fail every event they are asked for, I have a lc family recipe ive made the same way for these 25 years..they are fought over so I always take mine first.

I bring a huge bowl of salad that has multiple baby lettuces. I also bring a side of another hot veggie dish. I make sure ahead of time that I will have what I need to eat available so I can not say well I have to eat something..then begins the downward spiral into pie. I have learned this only by mistake. My very first fall off the wagon was on Thanksgiving years ago when I decided I was strong enough to be rewarded with "real Food" potatoes, gravy, pie, everything and anything. I haven't been the same since.

geoblewis
11-03-2013, 08:29 PM
This year, Thanksgiving is at my house. I've got food sensitivity issues, so I'm making everything I want to eat and if someone wannts something else, theyy are welcome to bring it. They all know better than to get offended if I don't what they bring.

I bought some pasture-raised turkeys. With that, I'm serving mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, butter rolls, salad, spanakopita, cranberry sauce and pecan pie. I'm not doing appetizers. And I'm not serving alcohol while certain family members are in the house.

I know that since I'm cooking, I'll be tasting. So for the meal, I'll servee mmyself a small portion of everything. I plan to stop at one plate for dinner and one slice of pie for dessert. And during clean up, one cocktail.

So, that's the plan...

mainecyn
11-03-2013, 08:50 PM
Ive noticed that this time of year (holidays) the magazines are throwing food panic at readers already, and a few morning news programs as well. Everything Ive been reading or seeing is talking about people gaining weight this time of years due to foods, then they have mag covers full of cookies, candies, and such. They, and Tv, are also full of reciepes for the season full of extra sugars, flour, bad fats, and frankien foods..then after Christmas these same Mag's and shows will be pitching some unliveable trend diet to get you to watch the show or buy the magazine. Its a never ending battle. Then there are the show and Mag's that focus on things such as winter depression, loneliness, weight gain. Years ago I always felt they might as well put those types af magazines by the ice cream freezer because they made me feel like binging, helpless, worthless.

HuggerBunny
11-03-2013, 09:41 PM
Geoblewis, your menu for Thanksgiving sounds really good! Yum!

I'm planning to roast a turkey, make cranberry sauce, gravy, homemade rolls, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, creamed corn, fruit salad, deviled eggs for an appetizer, pie for dessert, and sparkling apple cider to drink (obviously won't be making the last one). The mac and cheese will be just a tiny amount and the mashed potatoes, creamed corn, and fruit salad will be half the normal amount I make for Thanksgiving. Usually I would have a veggie based salad in there too but decided to forgo it this year, one day of no salad isn't going to kill me. I'm going to make a normal sized batch of rolls, but will freeze half of them for Christmas and the ones that are leftover I will just thaw one at a time for my husband to have with dinner :)

So I'm still thinking a lot about that mini 100 Grand bar. I'm almost curious if the craving for it would GO AWAY if I just ate it! But I would probably feel guilty if I did :( I'm torn between eating it and seeing what happens with the craving, or remaining strong and saving it for a few days from now. Should probably wait, it will be interesting to see if I'm still thinking about it tomorrow and the next day and the next day...

MeganTheMushroom
11-04-2013, 12:07 AM
Thanksgiving is coming up, isn't it? I'll be going home for it, and I know it will be really difficult to not get in that "I'm at home, on break, and it's a holiday so I will eat whatever and everything" mindset. I hope I can do it.

Today was another day 1. Yesterday was really tough, but I didn't do as badly as I could've let myself. But today was great. I didn't realize it was day light savings until I turned on my computer. I had an extra hour before work to do some homework, which was great. Work was fun, and I didn't eat too much despite working in a kitchen. I had friends over for studying, then went to do my laundry, played piano... Keeping myself busy really helps. I hope tomorrow is just as good.

geoblewis
11-04-2013, 12:50 AM
maincyn, I know how you're feeling with the holidaze food madness! I try to watch my shows through the DVR so I can skip all the ads, but it's getting ridiculous out there! Food marketers have no interest in helping us be healthy. We have to be our own advocates.

HuggerBunny
11-04-2013, 01:11 AM
I love Christmas so much and food- specifically cookies and holiday candies- is such a big part of it. My plan is to make maybe 2 or 3 of our favorites, eat one, then send the rest to work with my husband. I love the process of making them so at least I'll still get that. Then I think I'm going to make a sugar free red and green Jell-o recipe for me to enjoy. Hopefully that will be enough to still seem festive.

Also my mini 100 Grand bar obsession has subsided for the time being, yay! And I didn't have one :)

Mrs Snark
11-04-2013, 08:38 AM
Happy Monday (also known as: gah, look it is Monday already, where did the weekend GO?!?)

Sounds like everyone has great strategies for Thanksgiving. Not completely sure what mine are yet. I usually do OK on Thanksgiving, it is all the holiday parties between the end of Nov and Christmas that are harder on me.

momwithdogs
11-04-2013, 11:08 AM
Happy Monday!

Sounds like everyone has a good plan for the holidays; wish I could say the same, but not even close, lol.

This IE game is pretty interesting, however, I cannot quite see how it would work for weight loss, bc there is not supposed to be any restriction on what one eats.

I know people will say I could eat 1400 calories worth of candy all day and lose, but I'm just not sure if that's true.

Any thoughts?

Mrs Snark
11-04-2013, 11:39 AM
I don't know that much about IE, just what I've read online, but that being said I do know that I can't "intuitively" eat my trigger foods. Period. Over 40 years of trying has taught me that fact, because I have tried over, and over, and over to be a person who can eat ALL THINGS moderately. I love the whole idea of ALL THINGS in moderation.

And for 40 years I have failed at moderation for trigger foods. Failed spectacularly.

I don't think of my trigger foods as "bad" foods, I just accept that I don't act like a normal person when I eat them. It is what it is, I am what I yam.

Maybe I'm just tired of fighting after all these years, but I gave up trying to eat junk for in "moderation". Once I really accepted that I wasn't going to be feeding myself a steady, "moderate" diet of Fritos, dark chocolate, and jelly bagels (which is what my body WANTS) life has been getting a whole lot less stressful.

My trigger foods aside, I would say I actually AM an intuitive eater. I eat the rest of my foods pretty much without restriction, particularly veggies, salads, beans, and fruits. I eat those foods until I'm satisfied, 3 x per day.

A few high calorie items I do measure, just so I have a general idea how much I'm using (EVOO, nut butter, mayo), but I don't shy away from those products and eat plenty of all of them.

I do think IE sounds like a great plan and is definitely worth looking into, because it may work great for some people. We are all different.

geoblewis
11-04-2013, 12:31 PM
Well, 1400 calories worth of candy...I'm not sure that's actually doable. If you're IE, at some point you're not going to be interested in the candy any more. I read one of Geneen Roth's books, I think it was When Food is Love, and she started eating chocolate chip cookie dough till she couldn't stand it any longer. There was a point when her desires switched to healthier food choices.

I do know that when I stay away from processed foods altogether, that I do successfully keep to IE. Processed foods seem to be designed to be overeaten. Easier to chew and swallow, and we fill up far too much on them before our brain realizes we achieved and surpassed satiety.

thesame7lbs
11-04-2013, 12:58 PM
Good morning everyone!

After a terrible Thursday and Friday (binges, both), I had a great weekend. Now, one step at a time, one day at a time, until.... argh, Thanksgiving! Out of the last three, I spent two of them in horrible pain from overeating. I need to come up with a plan, which I think will have to start with a limit on wine. :(

HuggerBunny, I agree with you that food is so much a part of the holidays. I struggle with this because I know, for me, it is a problem, but I'm not sure what to do with my kids. I don't want to be a strict, lock-down, no-holiday-treats-here kind of house, but I'm afraid of passing along to them this idea that for some reason we have to consume vast amount of crap every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. As I write this, I know it comes down to balance -- I just wish I was better at balance! :dizzy:

MomWithDogs, I have no insight on IE, because it is absolutely outside of my abilities. I can't even imagine it. But I will say, while mathematically you should be able to lose on 1400 cals of candy or twinkies or whatever, I think it would be an awful ride. Eating too much crap messes with our blood sugar and everything else. 1400 cals of good healthy food is satisfying -- 1400 cals of sugary junk would leave a person with cravings from blood sugar spikes and crashes. I figure that's one of the reasons it is hard to recover after a binge (especially a carby, sugary binge, which is my specialty).

Hello to everyone else -- Mrs. Snark, Geoblewis, Mainecyn, MegantheMushroom -- and anyone else reading along!

mainecyn
11-04-2013, 01:55 PM
I had a great weekend. Now, one step at a time, one day at a time,
That is great news:carrot:You should be proud of yourself. Any type of progress is something to congratulate yourself on.

I had my binge eating under control for over 3 years when it came crashing down on me during a Thanksgiving about 7 years ago. I had done Atkins, was still on the plan, had been carb free, binge free, for years and lost almost 100 lbs. I hadn't had a temptation once to binge or eat anything I shouldn't. I dont' really remember what it was that made me decide to eat just a little of all the holiday stuff..never had done that before. I started with a little taste, then more, then huge amounts on a plate. I hadn't looked back since, I've been battling it and trying to stay on Atkins ever since. I lost it completely and hadn't been able to stop. I don't know how I'm going to do tomorrow, or an hour from now. The holidays are the hardest, I can relate 7pounds.

I made it thru the weekend binge free and not once eating anything that I shouldn't..not even over eating on items I can have. I used my keto sticks to visualize the progress, tell myself it was working, i was working. I was in ketosis all weekend and tested this morning, still am in ketosis and even after drinking tons of water its even darker on the strip, in-between small and moderate. I am feeling the effects, the wellness, the serenity that I used to feel during ketosis, its here...not to mention the COLD I always freeze when I'm in ketosis.:?:

Taking my son to the dr today, he suffers from Asthma, bad cough and sour throat..he has physical therapy tonight as well.

Hello to everyone, hope we all have a strong day.

momwithdogs
11-04-2013, 02:03 PM
Thanks for the responses and I guess I should have added a disclaimer; I don't eat candy and was just using it as an example. My downfall in anything crunchy and salty.:D

It was more just the idea that some IE followers say it doesn't matter what one eats bc one is only eating until satisfied...WTF ever that means, lol:dizzy:

7-FWIW, I have a 16yo DD and I must tell you, she has no food issues. She still has a box of chocolate in her room from the Easter. She takes a bite or two and calls it a day. She eats everything else in the same manner. Currently she is 5'1" and 117lbs.

I fully believe she is like this bc I never put any restrictions on what she eats and that includes when she was a toddler and would only eat mac and cheese. I hear a lot of parents focus on not raising picky eaters w/o taking food relationships into account. I think this is even more important with girls.

Just watch your kids and if you see them stuffing cookies, observe the next meal. If the kids eat less, then you know there's really no problem and the kids are self-regulating. :hug:

Sorry for the soap box.

geoblewis
11-04-2013, 02:14 PM
Gotta share one trick I learned this year...a swimmer's nose clip. I am a highly suggestible eater. When I get a whiff of something, I WANT IT! Its tough when I live in a town that smells like Cheerios all the time (there's a General Mills plant here). When my kids are cooking something for themselves, and it smells so good, I want some even though I'm not hungry. So I put the nose clip on and it instantly frees me from wanting that food!

mainecyn
11-04-2013, 03:37 PM
I fully believe she is like this bc I never put any restrictions on what she eats and that includes when she was a toddler and would only eat mac and cheese. I hear a lot of parents focus on not raising picky eaters w/o taking food relationships into account. I think this is even more important with girls.

Just watch your kids and if you see them stuffing cookies, observe the next meal. If the kids eat less, then you know there's really no problem and the kids are self-regulating.

I understand where you are coming from on this. I never made foods a no no or used foods as a reward. I encouraged healthy eating, veggies, fruits, etc. I never lectured my kids about cleaning your plate, watching your weight, or had dinner fights. To this day they eat a variety of veggies and fruits on their own and desserts are just that-not a daily thing but not forbidden.


I have food and weight issues, I have no self esteem. I grew up hating myself, even though looking back at it now I really wasn't over weight as a kid, just was developing faster than others. I did however develop a weight issue after having my kids.

I did however have food issues that I developed as a child. I grew up in a household where you ate it until it was gone. My dad was a big hard working man, food was the reward. My mother was emotional and always was plus size, used to hide foods and eat them as her rewards. Food was used as a congratulations, a way to treat happiness or sadness. We were not taught portions. We were also poor, any time we would have a treat in the house you really had to fight for your share, 4 kids. We got to where you would find the "good stuff" and eat it fast, till it was gone.

I never got on my kids about what they ate because I raised them to have a healthy relationship with food, have good eating habits. I especially didn't want my daughter to be like me. I also never ever lectured my daughter about her eating, or say things to make her self conscious about weight. I tried to never talk about diets around her. My daughter has great self esteem and is happy young women.

However, I did step up and take her to the dr when I noticed her weight increasing. Instead of focusing on her weight, I told her we were going to the dr to make sure she was healthy. The dr diagnosed her as insulin resistant, and also she was very vit d deficient. I still do not focus on the weight that she has gained, she is losing it. I tell her if she continues to eat healthy and be active it should come off. If it doesn't, then we will address that.

I've taught my children that when I notice something different in their eating habits, or weight, it must be dealt with because it could mean a health/emotional issue. We are focusing on whole foods, lots of veggies, low whole grain carbs a couple times a week, berries, and some dairy. I

I've never used the word fat, or told my daughter she needs to lose weight. I do however tell her that she needs to eat healthy and really watch she eats, keep track of things. We do it together.

As the weight started coming off my daughter felt better. Instead of using food as a reward I have found things that she likes, a movie, a new cute belt she picked out, earrings..things like that. I want her to have a healthy relationship with food, not binge.I've shared my eating issues with my daughter, admitted my own problems. Neither my daughter, or son, went trick or treating this year. My step kids, all three, did. We have the added issue of my two step daughters being rail thin and can eat everything and anything. They were not raised in a home where they learned to eat veggies or fruit..they seem to survive on candy, Hawaiian punch, a ramen noodles. I have also tried to explain to my daughter that thin doesn't always mean healthy-as with her step sisters that eat garbage and are smaller than she is.

Rhiko
11-04-2013, 05:15 PM
Hello again everyone :)

I've been doing all right the past week and I think everything has been under control. I'm so glad my semester is over, but I can't remember my password to see my results LOL! I'll have to sort that out this week, tee hee

MeganTheMushroom
11-04-2013, 10:23 PM
Today was a good day. I had a quick workout this morning, and did eat a little too much at dinner, but I beat a binge :)
Day 2- finished!

tarabella
11-04-2013, 10:46 PM
:(
Day after day, I got rid of more and more snacky triggery foods. And still I go to the shop and buy a fruit and nut bar, then eat cereal and yoghurt after dinner. Not one day yet have I managed to not overeat. I know my cereal is sweetened with agave so another thing to go out in the garbage. Lordy I am getting despairing of myself!

I really believe if I could just get a little run on of like a week without problem foods or overeating I could keep it up. I just can't seem to get a start. Any hints on getting a go on? I am thinking I should try to skip dinner just once so at least I could wake up not still full from the night before. I don't know that I can realistically do it though.

I am so frustrated with my eating habits.
I am making myself bitter for the sake of the sweet!

I haven't had a full blown binge for over a week though so that's some progress!

I'm just having a vent, sorry.

HuggerBunny
11-04-2013, 10:54 PM
Tarabella, awesome that you haven't binged for a week! Good job! That sounds like a step in the right direction to me.

What is it that you're having for dinner when you follow it with cereal and yogurt? If you're feeling hungry a couple of hours after dinner, maybe you could have a healthy snack and then eat dinner later than normal?

Today I had a tiny victory! My husband and I were out doing things longer than we expected, and lunchtime came and went. Our last stop was Sam's Club to get a veggie platter and some things for him for work. We were both really hungry so the plan was for him to get a hot dog and for me to get a salad. Well, they did not have any salad! They've had salad every other time, not sure why today was different. But my husband got his hot dog and ate it while I dreamed about getting a pretzel, then we got what we came for and went home. I had my late lunch of a cup of split pea soup when we got home. Glad I didn't give in and get my much loved pretzel. I'm allowing myself one unanticipated "snack" per month but it's only November 4th and I didn't use it for the pretzel because something better might come along later this month!

Also, Sam's had both raspberries AND strawberries in the produce section so I now have a 12 oz carton of raspberries and 2 pounds of strawberries. These are my two favorite berries so I'm pretty pleased. They're probably the last I'll see this year so I was happy to find them. Dinner's going to be leftover chicken, cauliflower, and strawberries- yum!

mainecyn
11-04-2013, 11:04 PM
Mrs Snark, what you said describes me completely. Ive tried for years to be a person that can eat a little of everything, trigger foods included. At times Ive fooled myself into believing I could, with horrible results. After 20 years I. Know that personally I can not eat trigger foods, they have to be banned completely. Ive tried all types of diets and support groups to over come it. What ive wondered is why is it wrong for me to cut something out of my eating when I know it posions me and robs me of my power and self control? To those that tell me I need to eat all foods I ask one question of them when they give me a hard time..would you give an alcoholic a bottle of booze and tell them you just need to learn moderation? No, and its the same type of advice. Any substance that is used to alter your mind and body, makes you feel helpless and out of control, that makes you Hate yourself, is a drug reguardless if it is "only food"

LisaTcan
11-04-2013, 11:13 PM
Hi everyone!

Boy, this thread is hard to keep up with! It moves so fast! I didn't overeat at all this weekend but I also didn't lose anything this week. I'm getting married in six weeks and I really wanted to be at goal by then..now I'm thinking it probably won't happen :( Trying not to beat myself up about it though.

MomWithDogs I've tried intuitive eating, there are books that suggest that is a great way to overcome disordered eating and find your natural weight. I however cannot do it, intuitively I snack on carbs all day without ever eating any actual meals. I think it's worth a try though as it seems like it would be really amazing if it worked for you. My therapist said that she thinks it works well for people who used to have normal, healthy eating habits but started binging later in life. I have never had normal eating habits..I was never taught them...I was an obese child and an anorexic teen so for me I can't trust my intuition, I need to follow an eating plan.

Tarabellam - Congrats on not having a full-out binge this week! That is totally progress. I would suggest eating dinner, skipping meals just sets you up for a binge. It seems drastic but the only thing that I find works for me is not eating anything other than my breakfast, lunch, dinner, and post dinner "treat" (either a dessert and a cup of tea or a glass of wine). Snacks just don't work for me, I'd constantly snack and before you know it I'm binging. You can do this!!

LisaTcan
11-04-2013, 11:25 PM
Mainecyn Your childhood sounds similar to mine except that I actually was very overweight. It's really nice to hear that your daughter has a healthy relationship with food. I'm about to get married and my and my fiance both worry about me passes on my disordered eating habits and poor body image to my future children. I glad to hear that other people have had success in raising healthy kids! I'm trying to work it out now so that when I do have kids I can model healthy habits for them. I doubt I'll ever have a positive body image but If I can at least hide it from them that will be good.

tarabella
11-05-2013, 05:15 AM
Thanks for the support ladies.

LisaTCan, I'm going to try a day with no eating between meals and see if that helps. I haven't tried that in a looong time. I have finally let go of every food that I overeat consistently (including the sweet cereal!) so that too gives me a better chance for tomorrow.

I too am so worried about my how to give my future child a healthy relationship with food- I am newly pregnant- so that is why I am really trying to at least stop with the binging and sometimes purging that I have engaged in for many years.

Mrs Snark
11-05-2013, 09:53 AM
Good morning everyone! I don't have children but I read those posts about instilling good habits in your kids with interest. I have great parents who had normal relationships with food when I was growing up and I had an active childhood, and yet I started sneak eating very young. It's a mystery.

Mainecyn -- It sounds like low carb really suits you, I'm glad you are feeling so good! I hope your son is feeling better. I agree with you that I don't want to eat things that rob me of my self control (I just wish those things didn't have such a powerful pull!)!

7lbs -- congrats on your good weekend, I know that felt good after the rough end of the week you had. Giving up the wine, gah, I'm crying right there with you. I am not the best decision maker when I'm drinking, but I hate to give up a nice glass of wine or cocktail.

geoblewis -- I know food manufacturers spend millions researching how to make their food irresistible, no wonder it is so easy to over eat it. I think you're right, it is designed to be exactly that! Thanks for the tip about the noseclip, that's very interesting!

Rhiko -- congrats on the semester being over, hope you find your password and discover you did GREAT!

Megan -- Yay, congrats on Day 2 and on beating a binge, great job! :carrot:

tarabella -- tapering off the binges is a huge accomplishment. Yes, we also have to control overeating and the snackies and such, but avoiding a binge for a whole week -- that's AWESOME! I generally don't eat between meals, less interfacing with food works for me, so maybe it will work for you also?

HuggerBunny -- Congrats on skipping the pretzel, I'm sure that was sooo hard to do! It sounds like you have a good approach for enabling yourself to pass on a treat like that, that's great!

Lisa -- congrats on a great week! Don't let the scale get to you, it isn't the whole picture that's for sure. And congrats on your upcoming nuptials, so exciting!

ILoveVegetables
11-05-2013, 03:07 PM
Just checking in here. Not a very controlled couple of days. My portions have been fine, but the food I've eaten hasn't been healthy. Please don't mind but I will be posting a one or two liner each day to note whether or not I've been good over the next few weeks. I think posting here keeps me more mindful of my eating :p

mainecyn
11-05-2013, 04:27 PM
Mainecyn Your childhood sounds similar to mine except that I actually was very overweight. It's really nice to hear that your daughter has a healthy relationship with food. I'm about to get married and my and my fiance both worry about me passes on my disordered eating habits and poor body image to my future children. I glad to hear that other people have had success in raising healthy kids! I'm trying to work it out now so that when I do have kids I can model healthy habits for them. I doubt I'll ever have a positive body image but If I can at least hide it from them that will be good.

I was always afraid that my children would inherit my binge eating and poor relationship with food. I have a cousin that was hounded constantly as a teenager by her mother, rode her non-stop about her weight, belittled her. All it did was make things worse for her, gained weight, began hiding food, was depressed, and also developed a stutter. Mom didn't care about anything else but her weight.

As an adult, she is still over weight, but she also married a man who does nothing but put her down and belittles her about her weight..and she takes it. I wanted to teach my children to respect themselves and know that they are not what is on the outside. There are also things like genetics to take into account, two people with huge skeletal structure are likely to not produce a frail boned waif of an offspring. A great deal of women in my family have a pear shape and carry it all in their hips. Some things you can not change, but you can work on being healthy.

My mum never emphasized weight or appearance, yet I developed these issues. I was never really sure what made me feel the way I do about myself, or disrespect myself so much by abusing my body by binge eating. There were lots of issues, a crazy household with older siblings that were involved in drugs and drinking that kept our parents busy, abuse from a cousin, a mother who was always dieting, a father that loved food..what is odd is before I became a binge eater in my late teenage years, I suffered from anorexia. Yet, no one noticed as I got smaller and smaller. No one cared.

HuggerBunny
11-05-2013, 06:37 PM
Mainecyn, that makes me so sad about the anorexia and no one noticing :( Hopefully they would have cared if they had noticed! It sounds like you had a lot of things going on that could lead to food issues. I feel for your cousin as well.

geoblewis
11-06-2013, 12:11 AM
Having a low-calorie day today. It's 8 p.m. and I've only eaten 1100 calories. Definitely genuinely hungry now, but I'm still at work for another 30 minutes. At home, I have a salad with feta and Kalamata olives and grilled chicken breast waiting for me. It actually sounds good tonight.

And then I'm going to bed!!!

HuggerBunny
11-06-2013, 12:17 AM
Geoblewis, that salad sounds really good! I was lucky enough to go to spend a week in Greece and had a salad like that every day for lunch, minus the chicken :) For the dressing, they just gave me a bottle of olive oil and a bottle of red wine vinegar. Yum!

Also I'm happy to say my ongoing desire for the mini 100 Grand bar seems to have subsided. Haven't really thought about it today or yesterday, and I didn't give in! Yay! Incidentally, lunch tomorrow will be my once weekly "whatever I want" meal and I've been telling myself I can have the min candy bar then, wonder if I'll feel like I want it.

geoblewis
11-06-2013, 12:25 AM
Oh HuggerBunny, bottles of olive oil are never far from me...:D There must be four different bottles in my house right now! I pour it on cooked greens, steamed veggies, brown rice and whole wheat pasta. Us Greeks know how to eat!

Congrats on resisting the call of the wild candy bar! Sometimes, if I haven't had sugar in a really, really long time, and then I eat something with sugar that I used to like, like a Snicker's bar, I wonder what I ever liked about them. They don't seem to taste as good any more.

Zima
11-06-2013, 12:49 AM
I need this thread. Just came back from a two-week-long binge. Yesterday was my first day back on track. I plan to go all the way until Thanksgiving with no slip-ups.

Dolores Claibourne
11-06-2013, 06:00 AM
Hi. Have been struggling for years with out of control eating. I use food as a drug really to sooth myself when I feel jumpy or empty or just for the buzz, the happy feeling you get when you finally give in and unwrap the chocolate bar...:o
I have to give it up, somehow. It's self destructive in so many ways.

Rhiko
11-06-2013, 06:53 AM
Rhiko -- congrats on the semester being over, hope you find your password and discover you did GREAT!

Thanks! I had to reset my password and I found out I have 1 out of 3 grades - and it's looking good so far. I'm only worried about one of my papers that I REALLY don't want to repeat because the lecturer is both boring and a dragon lol
__

I'm doing ok on the binge free side of things. I have to stop going into the kitchen after 10pm or get better at saying no! :lol:

MeganTheMushroom
11-06-2013, 08:45 AM
All the talk about raising kids is interesting, my parents were great. They raised us to make good decisions, know how to do many things in moderation, not get wrapped up in ideas... but with food, they didn't do a great job. My siblings are both very overweight, and I'm getting more and more overweight from binging.
We had pizza night, chinese food night, and pasta night every week, and desserts weren't just for occasions. I know I have a lot of problems that stem from anorexia/orthorexia from high school, but my siblings also eat to the point where they get too full, snack on unhealthy things even when they're not healthy, and see exercise as a chore.
I love my parents so much, and they are so wonderful, but I wish they taught us better eating habits.

Anyway, yesterday would have been day 3, but I messed up big time. I wanted to binge so badly all day, and managed to hold it off until the evening, when I had 2 bowls of potato chips, a huge bowl of pasta, lots of oil dipped bread, 6 cookies, and a half bag of caramel corn. My stomach hurt so badly, and now my face is breaking out from all the sugar.

Today is a new day though, and I will do better. At least I can constantly remind myself how terrible I will feel, both physically and mentally, after a binge. And there were a couple moments before the binge when I was about to start that I told myself no, and managed to follow through with that. I wish it wasn't so hard, though.

My goal: To go the rest of the week binge free. That would put me at Day 4 at the end of saturday- which would be a record.

momwithdogs
11-06-2013, 09:13 AM
Hi Girls!:hug:

My parents never made a big deal out of food, one way or the other.

I'm Korean, so obviously fairly short with dark hair and dark eyes. My mother was 5'7" with blond hair and blue eyes. The American ideal, lol. On a bad day she weighed 120lbs. She really was one of those naturally thin people.:dizzy:

Never in my life did she ever give me reason to think of myself as less than stellar. I just couldn't see it then.

Anyway, I think I'm an overeater, not so much a binger, so I can hide it really, really well.;)

Day 2 of IE and I kinda like it. It will take a very long time to get out of the diet mentality.

Mrs Snark
11-06-2013, 09:17 AM
Good morning! Everyone ready for Wednesday? I'm struggling with a cold and that makes me feel depressive and snacky so I'm not having the easiest of days. I hope this passes quick!


Bunny and Georgia -- I'm olive oil fan, too. Love it to pieces and fortunately I find it is really satisfying as well (without being a trigger).

Welcome Zima and Dolores! You've come to the right place, we all struggle with the very things you describe!

Rhiko -- I have to school myself to stay out of the kitchen also, nothing good happens in there after 8pm!

Megan -- Hang in there. I get what you're saying about the moments before the binge. I have such a disconnect in those moments, also. Like I don't believe myself when I try to remember how BAD I'll feel in every way after a binge. And then I go and do it anyway. Crazy. And remember that the binge doesn't wipe out the good work you've done on previous days!

IloveVeggies -- controlling portions is a great thing, even if the foods weren't that great. Actually, it is so much harder when the foods aren't that great, so well done!

HuggerBunny
11-06-2013, 03:16 PM
Am I unusual in this sense? Although I've managed to get up to 220 pounds, I am not an emotional eater. Or at least, not a sad emotions eater. If I'm feeling stressed, worried, or upset, I don't want to eat anything at all. Before my wedding I inadvertently shed several pounds that made my dress fit kind of iffy because I was under a huge amount of stress (think hand raising very frail and sick baby birds that needed 23 hours a day tending as they slowly died off one by one, plus the regular pre-wedding stress, plus another major source of stress). The idea of eating was simply repulsive. My reaction has been the same at other times when I've been really stressed. Even just being sad makes me not want to eat anything. My husband's always offered to go get a treat if I'm sad about something and I always turn him down because sadness makes me the opposite of hungry.

Instead, I eat when I'm happy! If I'm having a great day, or it's my day off, or I just got off work and the day was really fun, then I want to have pizza or pasta or whatever the heck else that I shouldn't.

Is anyone else here like this? And I should note that all of this was before I started my weight loss effort. Today is Day 13 :) I get to pick a meal today and think I will have a frozen bean and cheese burrito, my long awaite mini 100 Grand bar (or a PB cup!), and a little bottle of Odwalla juice that I chose at the store yesterday. Frozen burrito may seem like an odd choice but that's what I wanted.

mainecyn
11-06-2013, 03:53 PM
Afternoon everyone. I am on a streak, this is the longest binge free I have been in a couple years right now. I am 10 days in (at least) and going strong. I am unsure how or why, just that I am and it is a miracle.

I am trying each and every day, dealing with stress, long days at work, sick kids, appointments etc. I am unsure what is going on but I am sure its a combination of many things. I have stayed away from anything that might trigger any type of reaction-bbq sauce, stuff like that.

I tested again this morning, still reading ketosis. I am hoping that this will keep going and I will hit that two week mark, having carbs under control.

ILoveVegetables
11-06-2013, 06:10 PM
Day 1
Today was a decent re-start. Didn't eat between meals even though I was super tempted (in the interest of full disclosure, I caved and went out to get something from one of my favourite snack stalls, but as luck would have it, it was closed. I took it as a sign and came back home). It's 3:30 am right now, and I got a major case of the nighttime munchies because I didn't fill myself much during dinner, so I had a couple of raw tomatoes, cucumber and sweet lime.

HuggerBunny
11-07-2013, 07:40 AM
Well, my "free meal" ended up being more than it should have been. This might sound really odd, but it was kind of an experiment. I've read a lot lately about how carbs work in the body and how they're digested, and for me it definitely does seem like carbs leave me hungry sooner than healthier, more protein rich foods. Interesting to learn, but I don't think I should be repeating this particular experiment anytime soon. Also, my long awaited mini 100 Grand was not that awesome. The day's food did include strawberries and a bunch of raw veggies, so it wasn't all awful.

Back on track today, hopefully not too much harm done :) Also, the great big container of whey protein I ordered arrived yesterday, my husband and I tasted it. I got Optimum Nutrition Whey Isolate powder in the French Vanilla Creme flavor. It smells gross when mixed with milk (odd because it smells fine in the container), but tastes pretty decent. I'm going to try having some every other day or so for breakfast, hopefully it will be filling. Going to try it mixed with water this morning.

momwithdogs
11-07-2013, 11:03 AM
Well, my "free meal" ended up being more than it should have been. This might sound really odd, but it was kind of an experiment. I've read a lot lately about how carbs work in the body and how they're digested, and for me it definitely does seem like carbs leave me hungry sooner than healthier, more protein rich foods. Interesting to learn, but I don't think I should be repeating this particular experiment anytime soon. Also, my long awaited mini 100 Grand was not that awesome. The day's food did include strawberries and a bunch of raw veggies, so it wasn't all awful.

Back on track today, hopefully not too much harm done :) Also, the great big container of whey protein I ordered arrived yesterday, my husband and I tasted it. I got Optimum Nutrition Whey Isolate powder in the French Vanilla Creme flavor. It smells gross when mixed with milk (odd because it smells fine in the container), but tastes pretty decent. I'm going to try having some every other day or so for breakfast, hopefully it will be filling. Going to try it mixed with water this morning.

I'm just the opposite; anytime I try and cut carbs out of my diet, even for just a meal or two, I end up famished. Cannot figure it out at all. The only thing I can ascertain, it's my body telling me protein should be a side dish, not an entree. Being Asian, I wonder if my body is just naturally designed to eat that way, since a true Asian diet is carb heavy and protein light.

ILoveVegetables
11-07-2013, 01:06 PM
Meh, messed up today because I went for a movie and just couldn't resist the popcorn and soda, even though I never have soda anywhere else anymore. Starting with day 1 again tomorrow.

geoblewis
11-07-2013, 01:33 PM
HuggerBunny, I find eating pleasurable and a real go-to with every emotion. I'm one of those feed-a-cold-feed-a-fever-can't-remember-which-one-heck-let's-eat-anyways! people. :D I've been actually trouble shooting this with my therapist. I find that I overeat when I want to share emotions with someone but don't have anyone handy with which to emotionally connect. So I connect with the food. My idea of a perfect vacation is a beautiful hotel room with a beautiful view off a balcony, fabulously appointed bathroom, great cable TV and to curl up with a good room service menu. ALL. BY. MYSELF!!!

This weekend is a dangerous 3-day weekend for me. Both my sons will be gone. All my friends are married w/children and have family plans. It's just me and Daisy Mae for the whole weekend. I am planning to give that dog a good wash on Saturday, and we're going for several walks. But I really don't have any other plans. So I'll be catching up on TV and movies, and I'll have my kitchen filled with veggies, healthy protein and healthy fats. But I may be overeating at some point, because I'm going to have moments of boredom or loneliness. And after six months of absence, my period just showed up and I already feel carby cravings and I'm bloated! WTH?! All my progress may be blown by Monday.

EskaDee
11-07-2013, 03:29 PM
I'd like to join back in, please! I got a lot of support from the binge free threads earlier in the year, and I need to come back.

I was doing really well with losing weight steadily until August. From June to August I was losing 1 lb a week almost consistently - but still bingeing at the same time. I had the long school holidays off work over the summer and completely lost it. I had no control, not only over the binges but over what I was eating for meals on top of that. It was really hard to be so out of control, and the idea of stopping seemed impossible. I managed not to put on too much weight at first, but only because I was balancing it out with exercise and I just ended up putting on weight or maintaining. Anyway, to cut a long story short, after going from losing 1 lb a week steadily for a few months I am here on 7th November weighing the same as I did on the 17th August. I'm sick of it now, starting over and failing and having to start all over again. In February 2014 (only 3 months away!) I will have been on my weight loss journey for two years, and I had expected to be a lot further on by this point.

I am determined not only to get back on track with weight loss but to kick the binges forever. Unfortunately, I think the idea of living without bingeing is sending me fleeing back into the welcoming arms of binges. Today, however, the closest I got to bingeing was eating two muffins in a row which is nothing compared to my usual habits, so I am counting today as Day 1 Binge Free. I would love to get to the end of the weekend binge free, although even three genuine binge-free days would be longer than I have gone in years :( I'm really struggling at work, as I moved offices when I went back to work in September and it is next to the canteen. I can access great smelling food multiple times per day, and I work by myself so I have no peer pressure not to just sit and eat 6 bags of crisps and as many cookies as I have the guts to buy. By the time I get home, I already feel like the damage is done and I just eat whatever I want. Then I eat dinner too :mad: I know better, and I've spent so much time and tried so many things to stop bingeing that I'm relying purely on "hoping for the best" at this point. I suppose anything is worth a shot....

Ok, I'm sorry this is so long. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all of you, and hoping I can manage Day 2 Binge Free tomorrow.

HuggerBunny
11-07-2013, 06:24 PM
Momwithdogs, it's probably relevant that I have some degree of insulin resistance due to PCOS and from what I understand, carbs and insulin resistance are not the happiest combo.

MeganTheMushroom
11-07-2013, 07:26 PM
I'm just the opposite; anytime I try and cut carbs out of my diet, even for just a meal or two, I end up famished. Cannot figure it out at all. The only thing I can ascertain, it's my body telling me protein should be a side dish, not an entree. Being Asian, I wonder if my body is just naturally designed to eat that way, since a true Asian diet is carb heavy and protein light.

This is why diets that say one macronutrient is best annoy me, like Atkins with protein and 80-10-10 with carbs. They glump all people together, assuming we all have the same needs. Some people need more carbs than others, and other people need some extra protein or fat. Humans are a diverse species, I just can't believe we all have the same exact nutritional needs.

Anyway, today is Day 2. I had a big dinner and lots of chocolate and granola. Definitely too much, as I feel a little sick from it, but I'm not counting it as a binge because 1) I didn't eat any peanut butter, the banana, or the bowl of cereal I wanted, and2) I got my period today and have been craving chocolate all week, and I finally have some :p
I plan on working out tomorrow morning, getting lots of work done, and then RELAXING!

HuggerBunny
11-07-2013, 08:51 PM
Megan, like I said, I forgot to mention in my post that I have insulin resistance issues so carbs might affect me differently than some people :) I didn't mean that I though all people are the same as me. My doctor specifically told me to cut carbs way down because of my health issues.

mainecyn
11-07-2013, 09:17 PM
I am almost finished with day 11 of being binge free. I haven't done this well in years. I am hoping I just keep going and get stronger every day. I haven't felt the urge to binge.

mainecyn
11-08-2013, 11:17 AM
I am home from work today, a much deserved day off taken, I think I've missed two days of work in 5 years. Just doesn't happen. Work has become crazy, stressful, and emotional lately. More so than normal.

I have dealt with a child suffering from child abuse and neglect, turning in a co-worker for drug use, providing information for a deposition against a co-worker I like personally, and the news of three supervisors retiring this year and the struggle for replacing them is on...two of these people have already seemed to dismiss the rules and are grooming individuals to take their place (favorites personally of theirs).

I am the one on the side lines that always puts my head down and works, but I don't network like these people do. I don't play the "game" I continue to work with my (and their) boss, but I admit to hurt feelings this week watching these other two employees get lined up for jobs that I can do, want, and with more sonority etc. I am in line to get them too, but unlike them I have been waiting for the jobs to actually be officially posted. I think its going to be a case of those that follow the rules will miss their chance and the jobs will be gone before they are even available, filled by these other two.

I know how the came works, those that have to be trained less have a better chance to get the jobs as the transition is easier. One of the employees had been told since this summer to train me in her job by our boss..instead she has skipped over me and is grooming her friend. When asked by our boss over and over how my training is going she just replies, we haven't gotten to it. The past two days at work this employee has told me it would just be easier for me to tell the boss I am interested in her friends position instead since her friend knows almost all of her job now.

I am THANKFUL to have my job, sure am. But after years of being passed over, it is difficult to take when each evaluation is exceeds standards, and daily emails from boss about what a great job "once again"... This is when I would normally turn to food. I actually began to tear at work yesterday in my office, the stress. I have never ever done this before, I was alone. The stress is eating me alive as I do my job, their job, and several others. Anyone else have issues like this at work? Clicks continue even in the workplace and adulthood..the old lectures from parents about hard work paying off etc. as a child, well in the real world that doesn't always happen.

My weight is still down 172 officially today, might have even been 171 or 171.5 I'm hanging on but feel the cracks emotionally and hope not to turn to food.

I am throwing a party for my husband Saturday (family only) which includes another favorite meal of his and the kids choosing since it fell on a week day he wanted to wait till Saturday to do cake and ice cream. I am hoping I am not going to stand over that cake at 2 a.m. or steal a piece.

I am home today, surrounded by food with no one hear to watch me. Also this weekend all five kids will be here, always a stresser when the step kids are here as they argue between themselves constantly are loud, don't sleep etc etc. It disrupts everything in the house. I also have a child that has been home all week sick.

geoblewis
11-08-2013, 11:59 AM
Started my day very hungry. Stupidly let that take me over and I went to McDonald's. Twice. A total of 938 calories. Good thing I'm headed to the studio for two back-to-back workouts (cardio/weights and Pilates). I think I'll just skip eating again until dinner. And dinner will be very veggie oriented.

Mrs Snark
11-08-2013, 01:59 PM
I've got a cruddy head cold -- and even worse, I've got a husband with the flu. Gaaaahhh. Hope everyone is hanging in there.

tefrey
11-08-2013, 02:11 PM
I've been binging since Halloween ... and purging, at least once a day.

I don't even know if it's a real binge, since I'm not eating a lot of food, but it's more than I planned to eat so I feel bad, throw it up, then feel worse.

My weight loss slowed down, and I've begun really missing the foods I really shouldn't eat.

I don't know if I should back off from the diet (just for a week or two) and aim for maintenance, let my skin firm up, let my metabolism rest, and adjust to the new lower weight ... or if I should keep pushing forward on the diet.

Whatever I do, I need to stop purging.

LisaTcan
11-08-2013, 04:42 PM
ahh again so behind! It is nice everyone is so active on this board now. I'm only replying to the last few posts!

mainecyn - I feel terrible for your cousin, that is so awful! I'm very lucky that my fiance is very supportive and treats me like a queen. My parents also turned a blind eye to the issues I had as a teenager..actually everyone in my life did. When I was in my early twenties I made friends who were very supportive and that helped. I don't blame them, I know that mental health issues of any kind make people uncomfortable.

Mrs. Snark - I hope you and your husband feel better soon!

geoblewis - Way to go on the double gym classes! I can hardly ever do that.

tefrey - I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with purging! I'm normally reluctant to share this on this board but I've been bulimic for 8 years. Like you I don't really binge..purging is my main problem. Something silly that worked for me was a sticker chart! It's such a concrete behaviour that it's easy to measure. Whenever I start purging again I open up an old fashioned calendar and buy some stickers and keep track of how many days I can go without it.

----------------

So same old, same old here. I can't seem to lose any weight (140 is about my set point). I'm doing really well with eating reasonably and getting exercise every day though so that is a plus!!

mainecyn
11-08-2013, 05:11 PM
I am determined not only to get back on track with weight loss but to kick the binges forever. Unfortunately, I think the idea of living without bingeing is sending me fleeing back into the welcoming arms of binges.

I have experienced this often. I would clean out the house and tell myself that this time I can do it. Eventually, I would obsess about food, couldn't stop thinking about it no matter what I did. I focused so hard on kicking the binge, its all I thought about. It makes it difficult and scary at the same time and whenever I faced anything difficult, scary, or stressful, I'd binge. It was a never ending struggle. It still is a struggle.

I am still going, longest I've been binge free in years.I am half way thru day 13 binge free. :carrot: But, I can feel it hanging over me, or sitting on my shoulder. Its there, hasn't left me and I dread:devil: thinking about if and when it might win.:devil:

I have tried distracting myself all day, I have done probably 8 loads of laundry, a load of dishes, vacuumed the bedroom, cleaned the counters, made a loaf of banana bread and a huge triple batch of Apple squares. Odd as it may sound, baking never set off binge eating for me-I can bake up a storm and not have it bother me. What does is stuff I pick up and bring in the house, ice cream, cake for birthdays, chips, snack cakes, anything like that.

The count down is own. I am getting stronger I am sure every day, but I am am training wheels, or "walking on egg shells". I don't know what to do to help this weekend be a good one.

I have noticed that I have eaten two things today. I had a Carmel coffee Atkins shake for breakfast. I had leftover chili jack cheese chicken breast for lunch, a large one. The sauce had whipping cream, green chilies, shredded cheese, plenty of fat. I didn't over eat, and it has kept me full all day long.

ILoveVegetables
11-08-2013, 06:28 PM
Day 1 - Did well, didn't overeat. When I started craving food in the night, I settled for an orange so I'm pretty happy with myself. Tomorrow will be a bit of a challenge since I'll be out with friends almost all day.

MeganTheMushroom
11-08-2013, 06:48 PM
Ugh, messed up again today :(

I don't know why I can't go more than two days binge free. Maybe it's just stress from school and work? It must be it. I have a paper due by midnight today. It's mostly done, just editing, refining, and rearranging. But it's so hard to organize this paper. I just can't do it. And I eat to deal with it. I work on it for 10 minutes, get up and get a snack.
I have eaten so much today. And way too much salt.
I don't know how to deal with binges like this. Sometimes I can say no, I can distract myself, and tell myself I'm going to regret it. Other times, everything inside me is focused on food.

Well, tomorrow is yet another Day 1. I have a field trip tomorrow that will keep me busy for 8 hours out of the day, then 5 hours of work on sunday.

I need to get back on track.

MeganTheMushroom
11-08-2013, 06:50 PM
Megan, like I said, I forgot to mention in my post that I have insulin resistance issues so carbs might affect me differently than some people :) I didn't mean that I though all people are the same as me. My doctor specifically told me to cut carbs way down because of my health issues.

Oh, I wasn't accusing you of anything, I was agreeing with you.
I was talking about people in general, not about you, who get so set on diets and their opinions on what an ideal diet is for people, when really, there isn't one ideal diet. :)

HuggerBunny
11-08-2013, 08:00 PM
Mainecyn, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time at work! It really does feel unfair when you're doing what you're supposed to (and more!) but others are the ones who benefit. I used to work with a guy who was very charming and everyone loved him, he always got tons of positive comment cards and the like from people... but he didn't do his job. He was really lazy and left half his job to me to take care of. So frustrating.

Also, Mainecyn- is the chicken recipe from Taste of Homes? That sounded really good so I did a search for it and found a recipe with that name and the ingredients you described. I'm not very fond of meat but have eaten it almost every day for the past two weeks, out of necessity. That recipe sounds good! Thinking of trying it with 4 servings of chicken instead of 2, cutting out the butter, and leaving the cream and amount of cheese the same. That should make it a bit healthier.

Megan, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page so thought it was worth clarifying :) I definitely agree that not everyone's bodies are the same or react in the same way to things! And I really wish I handled carbs better because those are definitely my favorite things to eat! It's really interesting to me though that a day with say 1,000 calories from non-carboyhydrate sources has me completely satisfied and happy, but a day with double that amount of calories and many of them carbohydrates actually left me hungry at the end of the day.

As for your paper, do you think you're eating to avoid working on the paper? Some papers are so hard to write and you just need to pause and reflect a ton as you write them! Would it work maybe to set mini goals for yourself with the paper- say, once you finish editing two pages, then you can get a snack- instead of getting up every few minutes for one? In any case, good luck with the writing!

domesticbliss
11-08-2013, 09:35 PM
I'm late, but I'm in.
I'm ok during the day, even if I'm hungry I can control myself, but when night hits it's like a switch gets flipped, the worst is the time right before I go to bed, it's like clockwork... it's terrible. And the only reason my weight is an issue is because of the binges... my difficulty will be learning how to stop them, cause I have no idea.

mainecyn
11-08-2013, 11:35 PM
Huggerbunny, I don't know if the reciepe came from Taste of Home originally, I'm sure they probably have one like it. I Googled the other day and found four versions of the recipe I make on low carb websites, all a little different. I have two recipes I make with this as a base, one with the green chilies and one with fresh red Salas. I also use the base and add mushrooms instead of the Chili, and use real bacon diced up in it, sprinkle shredded Swiss cheese. Its great for several recipes.

Last night we had stuffed peppers, pretty good. I only ate part of my green pepper, never cared much for green peppers.

I managed to make it thru last night without over eating, and today. However, I am seriously running thru options in my mind tonight, what could eat. Telling myself, stay away!

Domesticbliss, you and I are completely the same. I have used the same example, a switch. That's how I have described my binge eating. Its as if that switch gets turned on and cant be turned off. Its stuck in the on position. Horrible helpless feeling. I have done everything besides sell my soul at times to stop these binges.

This is the longest binge free streak I have been on in a couple years. Anything has to be better than binging everyday several times a day. That's what I was doing before I was finally able to stick to Atkins again for more than a few days.These binges is what moved the scale,justlike you. I went from 147 pounds on Feb to 183 in October. Ive been gaining and losing the same pounds over and over.

I purposely took today off from work, I hit my limit yesterday and needed to step back before I said or did something Id regret like yell or walk out, even fleeting moment of quitting. I always work hard, slays do a good job, always told wow thanks great work by all the supervisors who I work with daily, but I'm forgetable not forceful. I come in save he day and then fade into the woodwork again..or make the mistake of telling others ideas and next thing you know I hear them telling the boss of their new idea. I need to go somewhere, I'm stuck in the position I'm in currently, there is no upward movement available with it, I'm at the top of it. But, its not fulltime compared to the other jobs, and no benifits. If I had more confidence abhor knows? I had all I could do to express interest in my current position and shocked everyone including myself and my husband by requesting an interview. My husband says ive Provence myself and not to worry, but I'm also smart enuff to know that everyday that goes by these ladies are being taught the skills mered for these jobs getting an upperhand while I'm not. Frustrated. A few weeks ago I would have stayed home eaten chocolate cake, chips. Anything. Or hit the Mcdonald drive thru getting flurries, frapacinos, and a Sunday, many times. At least I haven't done that. Its progress right?

ILoveVegetables
11-09-2013, 01:12 PM
Day 2 - Stayed on plan, didn't eat outside mealtimes so I'm pretty sure I didn't go over about 1400 calories. The night has just started but I'm determined not to get out of bed until morning so I don't eat.

Mrs Snark
11-09-2013, 01:17 PM
HuggerBunny, I find eating pleasurable and a real go-to with every emotion. I'm one of those feed-a-cold-feed-a-fever-can't-remember-which-one-heck-let's-eat-anyways! people. :D

[snip]

My idea of a perfect vacation is a beautiful hotel room with a beautiful view off a balcony, fabulously appointed bathroom, great cable TV and to curl up with a good room service menu. ALL. BY. MYSELF!!!

Ahhh... hello there long-lost twin! I am very similar, in that I turn to food for every emotion. I'm am retraining myself, but it is a hard switch to flip, that's for sure.

thesame7lbs
11-09-2013, 02:59 PM
I am determined not only to get back on track with weight loss but to kick the binges forever. Unfortunately, I think the idea of living without bingeing is sending me fleeing back into the welcoming arms of binges.

EskaDee, I struggled mightily with that same cycle a few years ago. I don't know if this will work for you, but this is what worked (more or less ;)) for me:
1. One day at a time. Don't worry about not binging forever, just focus on not binging today, or until bedtime, for the next hour, whatever it takes. "One day at a time" has become such a cliche, we don't think about what it means or how very important it is. Don't let "forever" intimidate you or convince you that you can't succeed -- just worry about today. You can do today!!!
2. For me -- accepting that I will probably binge again. It might be once a month (not ideal), or once every six months (acceptable), or once a year (seems totally reasonable). Yes, it would be lovely to never binge again, but if I can keep it to a minimum, that seems reasonably healthy to me and also takes the pressure off -- no quest for perfection, perhaps a bit less beating myself up when I do succumb -- and, truthfully, there is some comfort in knowing I am not "giving it up forever."

I know some/many may disagree with the above and I totally respect that. This is just what I have come to believe for myself.

LisaT and Tefrey, :hug:. Please take care of yourselves. I have a dear friend IRL who purges and I worry so much for her health. I am going to borrow the sticker chart idea for staying on plan. A visual reminder is always such a good reinforcement.

Mrs Snark
11-09-2013, 05:20 PM
1. One day at a time. Don't worry about not binging forever, just focus on not binging today, or until bedtime, for the next hour, whatever it takes. "One day at a time" has become such a cliche, we don't think about what it means or how very important it is. Don't let "forever" intimidate you or convince you that you can't succeed -- just worry about today. You can do today!!!
2. For me -- accepting that I will probably binge again. It might be once a month (not ideal), or once every six months (acceptable), or once a year (seems totally reasonable). Yes, it would be lovely to never binge again, but if I can keep it to a minimum, that seems reasonably healthy to me and also takes the pressure off -- no quest for perfection, perhaps a bit less beating myself up when I do succumb -- and, truthfully, there is some comfort in knowing I am not "giving it up forever."

Exactly what works for me as well. Agree with every bit of it.

tefrey
11-09-2013, 06:33 PM
Thanks for the kind words everyone! I did break the binge purge cycle years ago, but I always worry that I'll slip back into it if I get too obsessive about my weight. With my husband gone it was something I could do without anyone knowing ... so I've been really worried. And yes, I totally considered breaking out a package of reward stickers! But instead I wrote my husband and admitted everything, and then wrote about it here. That gave me the courage to go 'off my diet' yesterday ... I ate my diet meals but then filled up on bland non-cravable food like high fiber cereal and greens. Getting to feel really and truly full (and not feel guilty about it) seems to have reset everything and today I have had no cravings and no problem sticking on plan.

I'll have to try this again when my cravings get too strong and hopefully I can nip them sooner!

HuggerBunny
11-09-2013, 08:39 PM
Can you kind ladies help me out? This thread has really got me wondering. What do you all consider to be the definition of "binge"? Of course I know that binging is eating a lot of food at once unnecessarily, but what does it mean to you? How much food qualifies as a binge? Do you consider being at the mall and giving in and buying a cookie from Mrs. Field's and an Orange Julius "binging"? Even if you get up and dust yourself off after and continue on with your healthy eating later that evening? Or is not binging unless you do something like eat an entire large pizza and a package of Oreos?

Thank you :) I just find the term interesting and want to know how you all interpret it.

Mrs Snark
11-09-2013, 09:59 PM
Huggerbunny - as you note, we will all have slightly different definitions.

For me, personally, binging is eating alot of food very quickly in an out-of-control manner until I am WAY over full, sometimes until I am actually sick and in real pain. I am always alone when I binge eat. I sometimes (too often) eat things I don't even like (because I do a pretty good job of keeping the house free of junk). This is usually followed by intense shame and stress because the out-of-control feeling is very scary and awful to me. I honestly feel out of my mind when I binge, it is like an out of body experience.

Separately, I also have to control what I call "thrill eating" or "celebration eating", which is eating alot of junky food when I should be eating healthy stuff instead. I never thrill eat things I don't like. I will thrill eat with other people. I generally don't get as overfull as I do with binging, but I do get full, but never full to sickness or pain. I'm not feeling out-of-control, I'm usually just willfully chucking my plan and saying to myself "what the ****, I want a damn pizza." I tend to thrill eat with my husband -- we used to do it every weekend night, it was part of the entertainment and we loved it. Thrill eating is usually followed by general guilt about "why couldn't I just have had a salad instead, dammit."

Both binge eating and thrill eating are major problems for me as I try to manage my weight, though the binge eating is far scarier for me. They would tend to go in cycles for me. I'd thrill eat, feel stupid for being off plan, get depressed and stressed, then truly binge, then feel even worse, then over-restrict, then binge again, then eventually get a little control, then thrill eat on a birthday or holiday and start the whole damn cycle over again.

A cookie and an orange julius would be neither binging or even thrill eating for me. I wouldn't even worry about a cookie and an oj, I'd just write it down and make it my dinner calories or something. I might make an extra effort to be on guard for the urge to snack, since the sugar would make me want to.

geoblewis
11-09-2013, 10:29 PM
And the carby binge weekend rolls on...

Started last night after my veggie dinner. Home alone and was feeling lonely, but didn't want to make any effort to connect with anyone because I didn't want to feel rejected when they turned me down. Then this morning I started with toast, later had an almond croissant, and I just had a plate of pasta. And I'm craving sourdough bread with butter now.

I feel a bit overwhelmed with things I have to get done. I'm ambitious with my plans, then once I get started, I see the imprudence of my plans and commitments. I still have time to get things done, but when I get overwhelmed, I want to quit and retreat with TV and food.

I also think this is about hormones. My period showed up after 6 months, and along with it, hormones are triggering incontinence and joint issues, more insomnia, lots of water retention and fatigue.

I just need to hang on for another week and then I'll be able to get back on track. I filled up my fridge with veggies today. I intend to roast a bunch of them in the morning so they're instantly ready for me. And I'm going to bed early tonight. Hoping extra sleep will help me kick the carby binges.

MeganTheMushroom
11-10-2013, 09:11 AM
Huggerbunny- definitely. I have bad binges that seem to come out of nowhere, but a lot of them are from stress and to procrastinate homework that I just don't want to do. I'm going to try hard to break this habit, especially since finals aren't too far off.

Yesterday was another Day 1, and it went pretty well. I woke up at 7, had some mango for breakfast and had a quick workout (so happy I motivated myself to go to the gym!)
Lunch and dinner were good, and I went to a museum, so I spent a decent amount of time walking and socializing. I was home for a little bit and then had chocolate, made some cookies and had 1 1/2 of them, and had a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter. I ate this in front of my friend, and wasn't hurried about anything. And I stopped when I decided I had enough, I didn't finish the cookies or the chocolate :)

I have work today until 1, then I need to get homework done after that. I really want to start eating at slight calorie deficits of just 200 or 300 calories everyday, and I need to eat less sugar and more salads. My body is really starting to feel all the crap I've been putting into it.

momwithdogs
11-10-2013, 09:56 AM
I consider myself an over eater, not so much a binge...but I do think it's a very fine line between the two and I've bee close to crossing many times.

Even after all of this time, for me personally, there aren't really bad foods. There are items I should not keep in my house bc I will over eat them, but I'm not one to beat myself up over a trip to McDs.

I don't hide food, nor do I eat alone and if/when I do stuff myself in front of friends or family, no one says anything and I don't make excuses for it.

However, most, if not all of my OE is emotionally driven and this is where I need to focus my energy. In the last 15 months, my DS was born a preemie, sold a family business bc I decided I wanted to try the SAHM thing and moved across the country. Two weeks after we got here my dad had a heart attack and he chose not to tell me until after he had bypass surgery. :mad:

I feel like I'm 20 again, doing the whole "who am I and why am I here drama.";):dizzy:

thesame7lbs
11-10-2013, 11:26 AM
Well I feel a little silly for posting advice here yesterday, and then proceeding to spend the rest of the day binging. Boo.

HuggerBunny, a cookie and an orange julius wouldn't be a binge for me. That would be "going off plan" and probably "going over my calories" for the day. A binge would be the cookie + OJ, and then stopping for a bag of candy and eating the whole thing in the car on the way home, and then getting home and eating one piece, two piece, three pieces, more! of the kids' halloween candy, and then having 3 glasses of wine instead of one with dinner (and eating at least a 1/2 cup of walnuts while I cook), and then dessert, and then raiding the pantry -- who ate the pralines? never mind, there's Nutella -- etc etc etc. That was yesterday. This morning I weigh 5 lbs more than I did last week.

Day 1 for me. One day at a time.

mainecyn
11-10-2013, 01:45 PM
A cookie and drink wouldn't be a binge for me either. My last binge day, will tell you what I do remember eating, there is some Ive forgotten. All of this was on top of three regular meals eaten that day as I hide all my binge eating. This was 14 days ago today.

The day started at 630 in the morning as I got up early to make a run to the doughnut shop for the family. I had already fantasied about this binge and planned out this trip since the night before, trying to figure out how I could get to the shop by myself so I could start the day with a binge in private. Told my husband I would get up the next morning and run to the shop and get the family a treat.

Also doing so means I can eat donuts alone outside the house because in 5 years my husband has never seen me eat carbs. I was so deep in my dream that while my husband was focused on trying to be romantic that night, while he was kissing and touching me, only thought on my mind were those damnable donuts. I had pictured the binge in my mind so much already that I was already experiencing that repulsive feeling of failure, depression that cones with the eating. I don't want to binge to eat but its an explicit dream running thru my head.

Sunday morning at the doughnut shop. I order, like I don't care, a mixed dozen of donuts to be brought home. Making sure I tell the cashier "they all like their donuts at home and I'm stuck picking them up even though I don't eat them, cant eat them" then as an after thought after boxing the donuts and being asked "is there anything else?" I reply, "I forgot I was supposed to pick up an extra box for company this morning, almost forgot." I look like I'm scanning the display checking out the options but Ive known since the day before what I was there for..oh give me a dozen of those Boston cream donuts, everyone loves those, thanks.

By this time I am physically itching to get out that door and get to my donuts thinking come on lady just throw them in a bag and let me out the door. I wont mind, heck after eating the donuts id rip the bag open and lick the frosting off the inside of the bag, that's faster and easier..but I wait as she gets the box and uses the tissue paper to grab each single doughnut and torturing me with the slowness of it all.

Out the door and into my jeep. I toss the box of donuts for my family on the passenger seat in the back and start ripping the box of my donuts open before I even place my purse in the car. It sits in the shotgun seat. I cant eat them all in this parking lot, that would make me look like I have an issue. Luckily ive learned to park a few slots down from the front of the shop, an empty store front in the mall. I grab three donuts as easily as one. I eat all three in seconds with moans, feeling complete and utterly high. You couldn't take them away.

After eating the three I daintily grab tissue and clean my face, the front of the shirt covered now in chocolate and crumb..I squirt some germs on my hands to wash them before taking the steering wheel. I still have a job to do, I'm stopping down the street to get coffee to really make it a morning. The coffee I order might as well be a milkshake, I drink it, 24 ounces all the way home with the remaining 9 donuts. After the first four donuts I don't know if I taste them so much as I eat them but its the act the high of eating doughnut after doughnut in two bites. It doesn't even take ten mins to get to the doughnut shop from our house and by the time I pull in to the yard my box is empty. A dozen donuts gone. I roll up the box and on the way up the stairs I stuff it into the trashcan outside making sure I lift old bags of trash and place that box under them so no one sees.

During the morning after everyone has had a doughnut or two I start to scope their box for ones left, flavors I don't even like such as lemon or jelly filled. There's one in the box someone took a bite out of and tossed it back. I walk all around the kitchen checking the hallways, doorways etc to see if anyone is around. I turn on the kitchen faucet to mask any noise that might come as I open the lid of the box. I cram the entire doughnut into my mouth and walk over to the washer and dryer turning my back so no one would see my face if they came in. I barely chew and feel the rush.

Fastfoward awhile and husband is in the shower, kids in their rooms. I scope out the pantry and find a large box of cereal, kids cereal. Not something I generally binge on because its hard texture but its sweet and has chocolate flavor. I grab a mixing bowl, yes a mixing bowl, dump half a box of ceral into it, some milk, and a large spoon so I can shovel it in fast.

I'm eating as quick as I can with one ear listening to the bathroom, and the other to the bedroom door in case kids come. Eventually kids do come and I put this bowl on the bed. Pull a blanket over it and try to yell out come in. I quickly get rid of the kid and go back to eating before husband gets out of shower.

While hes in the shower I raid his candy drawer looking for items that might not be missed, anything. I come out with half a dozen little candy bars, sleeve of cookies, old licorice, a granola bar. I begin eating the candy as fast as possible wrapping up wrappers and hiding them in my sock drawer. I'm already nervous as I'm not ready for the binge to be over and I'm running out of time and privacy. Ive got to find a way to be alone.

After his shower husband tells me the words I want to hear, hes running in town do I wanna go? No I tell him, you deserve some alone time I will stay with kids. He gives me that honey your the greatest look. I practically chase him out the door and wait for his car to back out. I watch thru the blinds and wait a few mins because hes been known to come back after forgetting something. He doesn't.

I grab three taken noodles, dump them into a bowl with water and microwave them. While that cooks I grab an old bag of chips off the top of the fridge. I sit at the computer and grab handfuls of chips at a time shoveling hem in and eventually crumble them to eat faster. I check out the pantry under the bags of flour and sugar where I have hidden a box of a dozen rice crispy treats I take all the wrappers off first because its quicker. I rip them into pieces and begin eating them. Ive had six eaten before the timer goes off on the microwave, four min earlier id put the ramen in to cook. Its hot and so I drain it then bump half a stick of butter into it and all three packets of flavoring. I eat the rest of the rice crispy treats while I wait for it to cool.

Half way thru eating the ramen I'm getting that itchy feeling like Someone is coming I race into our bathroom and keep chewing as I hear the knock I stuff hat bowl in the cupboard under the sink. Chew and swallow and say what. Its someone wanting a ride. I think opportunity, ok give me a second. I cram shoes on and race a child up to a friends house. Way home I debate the pros and cons and then swinging to convenience store grabbing two huge slim Jim's, four king size peanut butter cups, and a blended coffee that's basically ice cream. I eat the candy bars in the parking lot but the drink proves to be hard to eat fast head freeze. I smuggle it into he house and actually microwave it to make it warm, then gulp it.

There's half a pan of cake in the kitchen, I cut a slab of it and eat cake that I normally Hate. I also grab old jelly beans outta the husbands drawer. When done I wash the dish and fork putting them back. Husband comes home and I hear hey where's all the donuts. I tell him first thing I can think of..kids had a couple each and I fed the last one to the dog. I've used this excuses many times.

Out running errands that afternoon an hour or so later I go thru a sonic drive thru and get a large shake the largest size they have and large fry. That shake is enough for three people my teenage son has had one with me, I was desperate for a binge and had him with me one day. We had each ordered this meal and a shake the same time. Mom your so cool. Yeah I'm thinking to myself and yet id prefer I was alone. I finish my burger and held my shake when he tells me hes stuffed. I finish the feast of mine fries and all. He is proudly saying wow mom I cant beloved you finished that and I hardly drank my shake and yours half gone. What he doesn't kow iss when we get home and asks me to throw his shake away, I will microwave it a bit and eat it with a spoon till gone.

I should be sick by now but not and grab six creamed filled cupcakes that are hidden under the kitchen sink..no one but me goes in there. Those are eaten and I keep thinking there's a few more. I'm making lunch seconds later, Mac and cheese for the family. Ive eaten half a cup of it already when I make my own lunch, a sensible salad.

Later that night I will eat an entire package of cheese slices, bag of pepperoni, 8 pudding cups,an old bag of candy corn, four yogurts, and a baggy of leftovers taco seasoned meat I find in the fridge melting cheese on it dumping sour cream and salsa on it. I grab a bag of popcorn chips and use them to eat it as a dip...eating the entire full size bag.

Dinner I make homemade meatballs for sub sandwiches. I am good and make a point of not eating bread but I half at least 10 large meatballs in a bowl with sauce and almost half a cup of green can parm cheese on top. I have them gone sitting in the living room before my husband has his meal done. Later for dessert I sit on the couch eating half a tub of sf ice cream that is my daughters. I will pay for it and have stomach issues thru the next day.

By the end of this free day of eating I am still thinking if there is anything left I could eat, want to eat. Fast forward few minutes and I'm filling a bowl with creamy peanut butter, feral bowl size, microwave it and put a large blobs of strawberry jelly in it, stiring till its creamy and sweet. I stand at the kitchen sink eating what is 3/4 of a jar of peanut butter and 1/4 of jelly. Get that down with the help of a glass of chocolate milk.

I remember a jar of candy cherries for Sundays in the fridge and start eating those as well..then think the last time we had Sundays I had bought Carmel and a bucket of cookies and cream ice cream got this flavor cause its not a favorite of mine. I try to decide if I have time, I microwave ocean bucket to make it softer to scoop and take a huge bowl, dump huge amount of Carmel on it and walk quickly down the hall to the kids bathroom. I eat it fast and hen think how am I going to get this out?

I put the evidence under the sink under all the towels and after inspecting myself for evidence I come into our bedroom as husband is coming outta our bathroom from his bath. I turn my head as he goes to kiss me. I don't want him kissing me on the lips and tasting what ive eaten I brush my teeth, shower quickly, put on a night shirt, hating myself I emerge from that bathroom playing the role of in control wife, the wife that dropped 82 pounds, the wife that tries not to let her husband know I'm not in control, that I'm a pig, I'm a glutton, the wife who at times cant wait to have him leave so I can cheat on him with food, have my affair, the wife who at times while we are at our closest physically doesn't have another man on her mind as he touches me but wonders when we are done if I can find a way to sneak into the kitchen the wife who will never tell him what I really do to myself, how I might as well be a junkie.

This is a typical day and intake of calories when that binge switch is turned on. This is normal and generally not spread out through the day but done all at once. But, as things got worse months ago I found my binging activity to stretch into days instead of hours. Every weekend I binged. I gained another 20 lbs.

ILoveVegetables
11-10-2013, 02:49 PM
Day 3 - Cheated a little by having a second serving of pasta for dinner. Ok, I lied, I took three servings. Gah. But had a pretty light lunch with fish and salad, so I'm going to let this slide.

thesame7lbs
11-10-2013, 06:08 PM
Mainecyn, :hug:

mainecyn
11-10-2013, 07:51 PM
Thanks 7pounds. I typed this out while trying to figure out how do you explain to someone just what a binge is. This is not simply over eating a little, and its huge unnatural. Amounts of caloriies and food consumed.

I have never ever shared this with anyone ever. I was so terrified of typing it I did it on my kindle scared somehow my husband might read over my shoulder and see some of what I'm typing. I hide. I hide my true self from him, my family, my parents, my coworkers, everyone but myself. Its a jeckle and hyde thing for sure.

The calm and in control wife and mother picking up stuff ive dropped on the floor during a binge..throwing items away wrapped up in plastic only to change my mind and fish them back out if nothing is in the trash can here in the house. It is an utter addiction. Ive been 14 days binge free today. It was hard to type it all out I couldn't type fast enough relieving the binge and responding emotionally and physically as I let it flood out. It is difficult to face. This was just one day, I gained twenty pounds in just a couple months doing this, tells you the amount of calories consumed. I'm hoping this brief period of control continues.

MeganTheMushroom
11-10-2013, 08:13 PM
Mainecyn- you really described how much of an addiction binge eating is, I hope you can oversome this, and a 14 day steak is awesome! I'm still waiting to make it to Day 4.

Today is Day 2 for me. I had a light breakfast, worked 5 hours (on my feet), and had a decent lunch.
Then I ate too much for dinner, as usual. I finished some veggies with a tahini sauce that were in the fridge, rapidly spooned cold soup into my mouth, a big spoonful of peanut butter with jelly, 1/2 a yam, and a plate of steamed kale with olive oil. It wasn't terrible, and when I said enough, I stopped. I'm pretty sure I stayed under my expended calories today.
I hate how hurried I am with dinner. I never know what I want to eat, so I taste a bunch of different things, decide to cook something, keep snacking while I cook it, eat the meal, then snack more. I need to make a plan of what exactly I will make, make it, put it on a plate, then eat it. Not take snacks and pick at everything while I cook.

I'll try harder tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a busy day, so I need to really be on my toes when I finally get home.
I do not need peanut butter or chocolate or bread or pasta to relax....

momwithdogs
11-10-2013, 08:38 PM
mainecyn-:hug::hug::hug::hug:


I know this may not work for everyone, nor is it that popular, but I sip one glass of wine before/while cooking dinner. It is enough to slow me down and take the edge off of the hunger.

It is not unusual for me to eat dinner, usually to the point of OE, then to snack very heavily until I go to bed.

I justify it bc I don't hide it, but I'm totally full of s&%t!;):dizzy:

HuggerBunny
11-10-2013, 09:30 PM
Mainecyn, I think it was brave of you to share with us! And a huge congrats for going 14 days without binging, good work :)

mainecyn
11-10-2013, 10:10 PM
Busy days this week, appointments every single days, sometimes two. Monday the dentist for myself, Wednesday the appointment for my back procedure. I worry I might comfort myself with food after my surgery, hoping not. They make you eat after the procedure, after you get out of recovery and before you go home. Its always a carby granola bar or something. I need to figure out if I can bring something in.

Mak78
11-11-2013, 12:40 AM
Hello all,

I participated in last months challenge and it was extremely helpful. Things went well initially, actually almost to well and it started to make me feel a little nervous which led to me starting to put pressure on myself to be perfect again. I have also been going through a transitional period returning back to work after being a stay at home mom for a few years ,as well as my husband has taken a new position which requires more of his time and that has been difficult to adjust to. To make everything worse I also had a yucky stomach flu to deal with at the end of the month!

So here I am now ready to get back to staying on plan and using my tools to avoid overeating or binging. Surprisingly to me I only had one binge at the end of October. Leftover cupcakes from our Halloween party ended up getting the best of me. And I have struggled with a few incidents of overeating as well. I don't feel as bad about myself for struggling and not being perfect as I used to. I hope that is a sign that I am making progress. I have noticed that the better I feel about myself and the less pressure I put on myself the less I feel like binging or overeating. I'm starting to feel confident again in my ability to get back on track and keep going despite all the ups and downs.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. :-)

Mrs Snark
11-11-2013, 09:58 AM
Welcome back Mak78! I find feeling confidence and trying to be positive definitely helps me. Sometimes it is "a fake it til I make it" kind of thing, but if I set out to be positive it usually becomes real, no matter how cranky I am when I start!

Sending positive vibes to everyone in our group here. Some days are really hard, but it is always worth the effort in the end!

mainecyn
11-11-2013, 03:32 PM
Welcome back to you. I am fairly new to this thread but it has helped me so much in my struggle. Knowing I am not alone, that others are suffering right along with me and can understand things without me saying a word if necessary.

Mak78, it seems that for everyone holidays are the worst. In all honesty, Halloween starts the downhill spiral. I mean when you think about it it is a celebration of candy so to speak..you are encouraged to get as much Halloween candy as possible. I remember going thru my kids candy, even last year, eating what I could..then hitting the sales at the stores the next day. In all honesty, the day after any holiday seems to be chocolate time to me. I head off to that store and buy up bags of it. I didn't this year after Halloween.

We have Thanksgiving coming next, another holiday that seems to revolve around food, lost of it, pies, turkey, anything..then its followed out by Christmas..the parties, the "goodies" that everyone brings to the office or gives as gifts. Again, used to head to the store afterwards and buy bags of "stocking stuffer" candy.

I am on day 15. Strong eating wise so far. I haven't felt that great, I don't seem to be building that sure feeling or confidence I thought I'd get as each day passes..stronger, I'm still looking for it. I still have way to many doubts as to if I can do this and its not any easier. When will it? Or am I just worrying to much about the eating coming back?:(

ILoveVegetables
11-11-2013, 03:37 PM
Day 4 - Ate a really light dinner and got the munchies at night. Had a sweet lime, a banana and a handful of almonds. I'm managing to make do with fruits in the night when I'm hungry, but I want to figure out how to cut it out completely. I find it really difficult to sleep earlier than 3 or 4 am so I always get hungry around 2.

grabec
11-11-2013, 07:56 PM
I am never bothered with Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas. I binge so bad all the time that these holidays are no worse than any other day. I'm glad to read the posts on this thread and I need a strategy also. Just completely out of control. Hate this.

Rhiko
11-11-2013, 09:54 PM
omg... I shouldn't have done it last night but I did... My partner got KFC and I ate it :( A full meal. I felt so bad eating it and afterwards I wanted to puke it out, but I don't do puking so I felt guilty all night ... :cry:

MeganTheMushroom
11-11-2013, 09:59 PM
Day 3 done!
Today went very well. Healthy meals, and I only snacked on popcorn (with just salt and garlic powder) and an apple. I didn't snack at dinner.
I'm a little hungry now, actually, but it's too late to eat. I'm so happy with how today went :)

ILoveVegetables
11-12-2013, 03:17 PM
Day 5 - Cheated a bit again with unhealthy dessert after dinner, but still not too much. These days I'm being a little less strict with dinner since I only have two meals in the day and my lunch is almost always about two spoons of rice with curry and a salad. On plan so far, but I'm worried about the upcoming weekend because I'll be alone at home, and having the house and TV and nothing to do, I tend to eat a lot. Need to figure out how not to fall into that little rut.

LisaTcan
11-12-2013, 04:40 PM
Had a pretty awful day today - got a huge bill this morning and we're already having trouble paying for our wedding :( The ate like 1/2 a box of cereal while watching TV instead of going to the gym.

Hang in there everyone!

mainecyn
11-12-2013, 04:41 PM
omg... I shouldn't have done it last night but I did... My partner got KFC and I ate it :( A full meal. I felt so bad eating it and afterwards I wanted to puke it out, but I don't do puking so I felt guilty all night ... :cry:


I can eat something i shouldn't, or binge, and feel guilty for days. This issue seems to be that the heaviness of the guilt, walking around with the anxiety, the self hate, sets me off for the next binge. I may not accept that I binge, but I have learned that to not make it worse I have to stop focusing on the last binge. If I do, it sets off a domino effects since I seem to use binge eating to deal with stress, anxiety, everything. Dont not keep beating yourself up over it and move on to the next day. Try.

Craziness continues today. I worked til 9, then had a dr appointment. I had to change my appointment from 10:30 to 9, race there from work in 5 mins.I had to see the dr to get a new prescription. I am now taking 60 mg of my meds. I had started at 20 mg and have been working up every two weeks. Its getting old, and expensive to keep filling this new script every couple weeks instead of getting a full weeks worth.

Also, they took my weight while I was there. The scale did read that I was down 4 pounds since my visit with them two weeks ago. However, it also said I was 9 pounds heavier than what my home scale says??? I was fully dressed, shoes and coat, but still that sounds off. It used to be news like that would make me go into a tail spin..I already weigh more than I thought so I might as well it this or that..Still holding and not eating. I tell myself that even with all the clothes, shoes, fluid, etc. I am four pounds less and don't let what his scale says bother me. But, it stung to see that number. And the pounds just aren't coming off fast. Years ago I would've lost 7 pounds in a week, now 4 pounds in 2 weeks?

I knew there was no way I would make picking up my daughter at her school and get her to her appointment at 11. I had to then go get the rx, then had to go pick up my daughter for her orthodontist appointment.

From the orthodontist office I ran home with the groceries I had picked up while waiting for my meds. From there had to come home, take care of groceries, fed my daughter lunch, made lean hamburger patties on lettuce. I then transferred money from my savings into checking, paid off my dr balance, and the (gulp) $400 that was left on my daughters medicals since the dang insurance wouldn't pay for the tests she had. Wrote out checks on house taxes, house payment, cable and internet, another different dr bill, and now just thinking how the heck am I gonna keep swimming?

Tonight I still have a chiropractor appointment at 4:30, that lasts at least an hour due to physical therapy. After that appointment I have a board meeting across town for the food bank. It will last a couple hours and begins at 6. The stress, the running. So far not turning to food. However, when I get going like this it stresses and it was always so easy to just grab something to eat. Or, the worse. I come home and then just graze all night. I worry, am still worried.

I'm worried about all this running, I'm worried about trying to do everything, be everything to everyone..not let one thing go undone and fullfill everyone's needs. Those groceries at the store while I was getting scripts, there wasn't anything in that batch of groceries that was for me, it actually wasn't food it was items like toothpaste, shampoo, toilet paper..stuff like that.

I have surgery tomorrow and needed to get everything done. Then, husband asked this morning since I was going could i pick up this and that for him. I always say yes. In the 6 years we have been together i made myself think have I ever asked him for ANYTHING? Besides marriage vows, open a jar here or there..:?:When I had my surgery in Feb. he did run and pick up prescriptions from the dr while I was still in the hospital...but I couldn't think of another thing. I make a homemade meal every night for dinner, I do the laundry, I run errands for him, pick up his food his supplies, anything he might need or want...He doesn't clean anything.

I am an independent woman, I am a modern woman, kept my own name for crying out loud, yet when I look at our marriage it isn't 50 50 it is very much like my own parents..old fashion in that sense, yet my mother didn't work and I am still trying to do all those things as a wife and mother that I feel make me important, or are my roll. Yet, I'm trying to think if there is ever a time I truly ask for any help or say hey can you do this? I wonder what his job is? I also wonder if this is half my stress. You can't be everything to all people and no one for yourself. I hate to ask him for anything I am so independent. But, I wonder if it is time to ask for help from him-not my kids, they do have chores, but from my husband himself.

I use my binge eating as a stress reliever, and I keep piling on the stress and responsibilities, then eventually I explode with a binge. If I can't completely cure myself of this binge, maybe helping relieve some of the actions that led me to binge might be a way to go. I still during all this running around today, and every day, work a job as well. I sleep less than 5 hours a night, up at 4:30 for work. Does this make any sense? I'm 16 days in so far on my binge free episode. Still going. I am worried about the days I will be home after surgery but hoping I'll hurt to much to even worry about food.:^:

MeganTheMushroom
11-12-2013, 08:31 PM
Today was rough on me too,
I did well up until dinner time (like always), I had a pile of sauteed veggies, a hummus wrap, lots of potato chips, a pb&j sandwich, a bowl of oatmeal, a bowl of pumpkin pie filling, soup, and bread.
But I'm just going to focus on making up for it tomorrow- fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch, and a planned dinner. Hopefully a workout if I wake up early enough (I have an 8:30 meeting).

HuggerBunny
11-12-2013, 11:01 PM
Mainecyn, I agree, it sounds like you have too much stress in your life and maybe that's contributing to your binges. Cutting some of that out would be ideal, and I agree that asking your husband to contribute more sounds fair. What isn't fair is for you both to be working full time jobs, but you also doing all the cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, etc, etc, etc while his work ends as soon as he gets home.

Megan, was it like a bowl of canned pumpkin pie filling or did you make it yourself? I'm amassing a list of HuggerBunny-friendly treats to make after Thanksgiving so I'm not tempted by the Christmas cookies, and one of the things I have on the list is pumpkin custard. My plan is to basically bake a pumpkin pie without the crust and replace the sugar in the filling with Splenda!

So I had an unexpected treat last night that I probably shouldn't have. My husband made chocolate chip cookies. I'd already created the rule that I can have ONE of whatever cookie/sweet treat is baked. Treats will also only be baked occasionally. My plan come December is to bake one kind of cookie per week (on my day when I get to choose anything I want for lunch), eat one, then save a few for my husband and send the others with him to work. Hadn't really expected him to make cookies (chocolate chip cookies are the only thing he bakes or cooks), but I reluctantly decided that the Eat One rule applied to his cookies as well :) So maybe I shouldn't have had the cookie, but I did, and it was wonderful! He only bakes them once or twice a year so I don't think it's too big of a deal. I compensated for the cookie calories by considering it to be my dinner.

mainecyn
11-12-2013, 11:15 PM
Thank you for your input huggerbunny, part @f me has felt guilty for even wanting to ask for help of any kind I haven't since we married. But, this is how Ive always been. I know I take care of my kids, my husband, and house..as well as all the meals and shopping etc. Throw in I do all his shopping when he needs things etc. I have to figure out how to talk with hm. What I really want is help from him, not him delagating it to kids. I want him to lend a hand. I will have to figure out something. I also don't ask him to pitch in financially 50 50..Where do you find a spouse like me? I need one.

If your watching calories then accounting for the cookie calories should help. Maybe watch fat the next day or so. I envy your ability. To eat just one cookie and not to have to never eat another one.

Tired. I got home at 730 tonight. Long day when you've been running nonstop.

ILoveVegetables
11-13-2013, 03:12 PM
Day 6 - Good day today. Just had one snack in the evening, a pretty light lunch and a dinner of about 600 calories so did well today. I'm planning to go for a movie tomorrow and my personal challenge is to, for once, not have popcorn and coke. I don't know if I'll be able to though. I'll try to find something less fattening, or skip lunch tomorrow.

mainecyn
11-13-2013, 03:41 PM
I am home from my back surgery. All went well, feeling emotional, but not hungry emotional. In fact have had a kinda lump in my throat and stomach since surgery, a heaviness.

I have been binge free, carb free, for 16 days now. I was almost forced into eating carby garbage at the surgery center today. Before I could be released I had to eat something and drink something..they brought in a basket full of artificially sweetened grape juice, boxes of apple juice, and orange juice..the 2nd basket, 3 flavors of granola bars, cereal bars, and crackers with cheese. I looked at that stuff and thought are you serious? I wasn't going to compromise how I was doing by eating that stuff. This is what they offered when on my info sheets I marked I do not eat grains, gluten, sugar etc..I am type two diabetic and I also have found it easier to just tell people in offices that I have a gluten allergy.

I told the nurse I was fine with my bottle of water and when she was gone I unwrapped the crackers and fake cheese she left me, putting the crackers in my bag and leaving the wrapper out. Im sorry, I wasn't gonna eat it. The next thing I would have done was come home and keep eating. I wasn't going to binge or eat something that can trigger a binge just for them.

After surgery today they put me in a recovery room and stayed there for an over an hour. I got a little nervous because I could feel my legs during the procedure, but 10 mins in recovery my right leg and foot went totally numb. I couldn't stand on it, walk, nothing. They stood me up and I toppled over. I was pretty scared. I had driven myself and wasn't able to be put under for my procedure..instead they gave me an epidural which I remember from the times I was pregnant.

I am not sure what is really going on. I don't know if its the medication I am taking, the new added supplement of chromium picolinate which is supposed to help control binging, but I haven't had the urge to binge, not at all. I took it the first time last years ago and had some success with it..but didn't last long. I know that some regular medications may also change things..but I had been taking it when I was binging, just the dose is upped.?? who knows maybe I am trying to think or analyze it too much and should just accept it?:hug: I just want to get to the bottom of what triggers these binges while I am strong enough not to binge.

Weight, I am STILL sitting at 171..nothing, no change since last week. But, at least it isn't a change in weight due to weight gain:dizzy: I am getting frustrated, but unlike all the other attempts to lose weight this no movement in the scale hasn't set off a binge reaction. I generally get this far dropping a couple pounds,:mad: and then when no more comes off I just give up and eat everything.

MeganTheMushroom
11-13-2013, 10:53 PM
Huggerbunny- it was homemade, it wouldn't of actually made a pie, but it included a lot of sugar and maple syrup

Today was a really good day though. I was pretty busy, an 8:30 meeting, after that I had classes, then lunch and another meeting 45 minutes later, then 5 hours of work. I ate well all day, healthy and reasonable portions. When I got home from work, I had some dried figs- turkish, my favorite :)
Day 1 over.
Can't wait for Day 2 :)

mainecyn
11-14-2013, 09:53 AM
Finally that dang scale moved down again, 170 lbs this morning.

I am starting day 16 binge free :)

Mrs Snark
11-14-2013, 10:36 AM
Mainecyn - I hope your recovery goes well, it sounds like you are continuing your great stretch of control! Great job! 16 days, whoo hoo!

Megan - I hope Day 2 is going as well for you as Day did, sending you positive vibes.

Iloveveggies - I'm sure you can figure something out for your movie snack, and if you decide to work in the popcorn and coke that seems reasonable also!

HuggerBunny - good job on controlling yourself around the cookies!

Lisa - I'm sorry you had such a rough day, money stress can really do a number on you! Hang in there!

Grabec - Welcome to the thread!

Rhiko - I know it is frustrating, but one meal isn't the end of the world, hope you are feeling better after getting some distance from that evening!



Sending positive thoughts to everyone who is struggling, one day at a time, we can do this!

HuggerBunny
11-14-2013, 07:21 PM
So I did not eat what I should have this morning at breakfast. The power went out during the night (it was super windy and icy and rainy AND snowy out!) and stayed out for several hours. Absolutely did not want to open the fridge and let any cold air out because I was hoping we'd be able to save the fridge contents. But I was also hungry and we didn't have anything appropriate for me in the cabinets, unless I wanted something like a can of diced tomatoes (which I definitely did not want). We really need to go to the grocery store but the weather has made the very inadvisable. So after much thought, I spread some peanut butter on saltine crackers and had that for breakfast. I'm supposed to be staying away from carbs that come from grains. Then literally as I put the last bite of cracker in my mouth, the power returned after having been out about 7 hours! Oh well, nothing I can do about it now.

Also it occurs to me now that I had a container of almonds and some Larabars that would have been better unrefrigerated choices, but those did not occur to me even though I was contemplating what to do about breakfast for a solid 2 hours before finally having crackers and PB.

mainecyn
11-14-2013, 09:25 PM
Huggerbunny, you did the best you could with what you had. Don't beat yourself up over it. I Hate to admit we had a power outages a couple months ago as well, I used that time to convince myself of the value of the ice cream in the freezer. I turned a day without power into a binge day. It didn't take much to convince me. I tell myself to have an emergency stash of things I could eat, so far only thing I have a nuts, which I can eat a million of and then move on to something else. Not a good choice.

HuggerBunny
11-15-2013, 10:08 AM
Well, I definitely screwed up and I'm ashamed to admit it! I had 2 servings of raisin bran with a little milk, then a sandwich with cheddar cheese in it. Should not have had EITHER. Checked the nutrition info after and that right there was about 800 calories, WOW.

This has been my first big goof up since I started 23 days ago :( I have my next doctor's appointment on Tuesday and will be weighed for the first time since I started losing weight...

So the sad thing is that neither of those two foods were even as good tasty as most of the "healthy" things I've been eating lately, like hard boiled eggs... fruit... raw veggies with ranch dip... tuna with tomato... the meatballs, soup, and chicken I've made lately... The raisin bran was store brand and kind of "blah", and I haven't had sandwich bread in about a month- it tasted really salty.

Based on this, I think the key for me might be in keeping plenty of HuggerBunny-friendly foods on hand. We're super low on groceries that I can have right now. No fruit, nothing in the fridge except string cheese (which I didn't want), and I completely forgot (again!) about the almonds and Larabars in the pantry.

Time to get ahold of myself! Next time before I eat something I shouldn't, I'm going to try to sit down and think about my goals and why I shouldn't have whatever it is, and what I could possibly eat instead. I was legitimately hungry- my belly was rumbling- so it was okay if I ate something, I should have just contented myself with the string cheese! Of course I KNOW why I shouldn't eat those things, but it's like I just temporarily forgot :(

mainecyn
11-15-2013, 11:33 AM
Well, I definitely screwed up and I'm ashamed to admit it! I had 2 servings of raisin bran with a little milk, then a sandwich with cheddar cheese in it. Should not have had EITHER. Checked the nutrition info after and that right there was about 800 calories, WOW.

I have done this. Especially, with cereal myself. I used to pour huge bowls of cereal and devour them. Afterwards, I'd really think a bit and say why did I do that? It didn't satisfy anything, wasn't really what I wanted to do or eat, but I did it anyway. It is so discouraging and makes me feel sad when I do it. But, usually this is the beginning of overeating for me. I will start out with something that is borderline, something I don't really truly want, then I will move right along..eventually I'm going from one bowl of raisin bran (did this months ago with same cereal) to half a pan of cake.

You still sound like you have a plan, really analyzing what it is you want, your goals, before you eat next time. I admire your plan, wish I could do the same thing. Nothing ever deters me from getting what I want food wise, I'm not able to really trick myself into eating healthier or make better options if I'm in the mood to binge.

I finished day 16 last night. I was afraid I might have an issue. I was actually craving something sweet. I haven't had any cravings for a long time. I decided to go with strawberries in the fridge, with a little liquid whipping cream for fat. Since I am on Atkins, and it had been 16 days with no sugar, no fruit allowed etc, this was ok because after 2 weeks of induction you are allowed berries. I at the berries, nothing else. I didn't stray from plan, kept that binge at bay, and that craving was killed. I don't plan on eating berries or fruit again for a while,but it worked for me last night.

So, I decided to use my ketosis sticks to see if I had knocked myself outta ketosis. I think that being in ketosis keeps me from craving and binging to be truthful. I tested, still in range. While not moderate ketosis, I was still in the small range and ok. I don't plan on eating anything today or this weekend that might kick me outta ketosis and really get the cravings and binging happening. I've not been able to go this long in years..17 days with no binge, its a new record for me. I don't want to spend my weekend hiding in my bathroom eating food.:devil:

LisaTcan
11-15-2013, 11:37 AM
Hungerbunny - I've definitely had meals like that, 800 calories isn't that bad!

mainecyn - Sounds like you're having a rough time but congrats on the 17 days with no binge! What a big accomplishment :)

ILoveVegetables
11-15-2013, 07:46 PM
Man, I barely made it a week without overeating or bingeing and today I screwed it up. I haven't been sleeping much at night, and I was watching a couple of episodes of different tv shows and made myself a big bowl of noodles. The entire time I was making it, I kept telling myself that I shouldn't, that I'd regret it and have to start over, but I just didn't stop. My lack of willpower really frustrates me, and I can't blame anyone but myself.

HuggerBunny
11-15-2013, 09:48 PM
We're going to the store tonight. Haven't been able to go the past couple of days because the roads have been very treacherous. I'm glad that I'll have good food choices to pick from now! Quick snacks that I love are cottage cheese, fruit, raw veggies, and peanut butter, and now I'll have all of those to pick from :) I DID actually have peanut butter but already had some yesterday and that's why I didn't pick any for this morning's breakfast freakout. Isn't that ridiculous?! Should have just had some more PB instead of the raisin bran and sandwich! I find peanut butter to be quite filling.

Mainecyn, I actually love raisin bran and that's what I wanted. But usually we buy I think Post brand (the one with the sunshine holding the scoops of raisins?) and this was Safeway brand, the bran flakes were really thick and hard. But as much as I love raisin bran (and plain Cheerios and Crispix), even before I started this new way of eating I RARELY ate cereal because it only keeps me full for about an hour. The other day I was loading up some bags of food to donate to the food pantry. Foods that aren't appropriate for me and that I didn't think my husband would eat. We'd purchased the box of raisin bran back when I was so sick because it's what I wanted, but for whatever reason I didn't get around to opening it. Of all the things I put in the bags to donate- noodles and cake mixes and even a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies (my favorite)- the thing I was sad about was my box of raisin bran. Said box has been opened and I feel kind of bad because of course I can't donate it now :( At least my 2 bowls were normal sized... I had one bowl because I was really hungry and thought of the raisin bran and basically poured myself a bowl after contemplating it and the string cheese for a few seconds (even picked up the string cheese and closed the fridge!). Then I had a second bowl because the first bowl was so crunchy and I thought letting it sit in the milk a little longer would help. It didn't really and I was disappointed, so I had the cheese sandwich which was also unremarkable. I guess at least I stopped there?!

Also, awesome job on avoiding things you shouldn't have! 17 days is great. The strawberries sound wonderful. Kind of kicking myself for going into this when I am. Right before Thanksgiving and Christmas, and when all the best fruits are leaving the shelves because it's winter. I adore strawberries! Although I do eat lower carb (or uh TRY TOO), I'm not following the Atkinds Diet or any other specific diet and have at least one serving of fruit a day. My doctor said I do not need to avoid fruit. Not being able to have any fruit would I think be really hard for me.

Mrs Snark
11-16-2013, 11:42 AM
Ilovevegetables - I know it is frustrating, but one bowl of noodles doesn't wipe out a whole week on plan. Just think what you might have been eating through the whole week if you weren't making all this effort. Think of all the junk you DIDN'T EAT!

If you went week after week binge-free except ONE big bowl of noodles each week, that would be a pretty darn big improvement over previous behavior, right? You're not really "starting over", all the previous effort you have made still counts. You're just continuing on, marching forward, doing great!

Just a different way to look at it!

mainecyn
11-16-2013, 03:33 PM
I have to agree with Mrs Snark and her advice. At my worst a few weeks ago I would have gladly just of had one binge free day there's so much stress to make a drastic change to stop the cycle of highs and lows. If your like me you either have a stress or a low that makes you binge, the binge brings an euphoria and energy like no other and you ride that wave, its the high. Somewhere in the middle the guilt, the shame, the dirty or sad feelings take hold. That's how it is for me anyway.

I think the people that say one day at a time are correct. If your looking at he big picture and feel its a total failure for any slip ask yourself why? When I smoked a pack a day half a pack a day would have been better for me, eventually I weaned myself down and then stopped cold turkey. If your binging every day a week just a bowl of noodles once a week, average size bowl, eaten slowly and calmly with out the guilt shouldn't be a failure.

Some people have what they call reward meals, I tried that years ago but it didn't work for me. Others have great success with it. I don't like the term because it still sets food as a reward, but if it works I don't see what's wrong with it.

You don't have to live an all or nothing life style with your food. Ive learned that this is not what healthy eaters do. Addicts that can be a different story. Example for me is I see my husband take a small piece of several different candy bars, and put them away. He tastes a bit and then moves on. I couldn't do it, but he does. For me the person addicted to binge eating, Id rip that candy drawer open and dump it all in my mouth ( been known to raid his candy drawer). We are much like alcoholics who cant stop at one glass of wine.

Every person is different, every solution is different. I know in the past using a plain old rubber band on my wrist worked for me..each time I wanted to eat something, binge, or felt a binge coming, I'd snap that band on my wrist. If it didn't work the first time i did it over and over.

It actually did work for a while, a conditioning, it sort of snapped me out of that line of thing at the very first sign. I've tried the post it on the fridge with my old weight on it, anything. There are a million ideas that can be used to help control. Something as basic as this and then there are relaxation techniques, anything that works for you.

If for some reason you are able to control the all out every day binging I don't see how an occasional bowl of noodles should be treated as a punishment. I'm not sure what you describe as a binge, or what your state of mind was when you ate them. What do you allow yourself to eat> Is this more of you ate something that you don't' want yourself to eat and gave into a temptation? Don't shame yourself with food because that's where it gets worse..you will do what I do, hide, and sometimes giving into a smaller urge like eating a bowl of noodles can be a defuse type mechanism keeping you from totally exploding later.

I am at the start of day 18, keep going. Yesterday was difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. i found myself eating a ton of different cheese as a snack last night, and had already eaten way more of it during the day. I sensed a few moments during the day of that euphoria as I grabbed several cheese sticks, peeled them and stuffed them..not even tasting them..I had to remind myself and get control, it was that ahhhh moment and I was scared it woke up for a min. Tons of calories thats for sure as i ate so much cheese druing the day and last night. I also think the cup of snow peas I ate with yogurt dip was a mistake, they were too carby and I noticed I tried moving on to the next item in the fridge, not good. I tested using my keto sticks this morning and I was only at trace.

I actually love raisin bran and that's what I wanted

So do I, that's the problem. I always have. I don't care for the store brand as often. I have a binging history with raisin bran as we always have a box in the pantry..I'd pour one bowl telling myself a bowl of this is way better than the kids lucky charms or captain crunch..right? I would literally moan as I ate it, then have a 2nd bowl. By then I had been eating it standing up, looking thru the pantry. I would then get mini wheat picking out a bowl of the most frosted, eat that, still telling myself its a healthier option..then I would start with the kids cereal.

I would eat bowl after bowl of the little ones and then just get out a salad type bowl and fill that. I always ended the binge of cereal with a last bowl of that raisin bran..like somehow that made it better. I love raisins, its a weakness. I used to love Crispy Wheat and raisins as a kid goosh that was good stuff!!! Anything raisin can start a binge which is odd as its "healthy" but its the sweetness. I adore yogurt raisins and chocolate covered raisins too.

HuggerBunny
11-16-2013, 11:22 PM
Mainecyn, I love Raisinets! They're one of my favorite candies. It seems like most people don't like them, but I've always liked them. Yogurt raisins are good, too. Isn't it interesting what can set people off? I don't think my box of raisin bran will be a problem. If I have another "episode" of eating it when I shouldn't, then I will get rid of it. I hadn't had raisin bran in at least a year and I'd specifically chosen it about a month and a half ago, so I think maybe I just felt ripped off or something at the idea of not getting to have any of it.

Is this odd? Even when I was eating my raisin bran and sandwich the other day, I did not do it quickly. I've NEVER been a fast eater. When I was 10, my mom actually started putting time limits on my eating because I was so slow. Not that I'd sit at the table for 2 hours eating a ton of food, but it would take me half an hour to eat a PBJ or an apple. She started giving me, say, 15 minutes to eat my sandwich and then would take it away if I wasn't finished yet. So that did help me learn to eat faster, but I'm still pretty slow. I probably spent 20 minutes with my raisin bran and 10 with my sandwich the other day.

ILoveVegetables, how are you doing today? I hope you've forgiven yourself and are moving on! Would it help if you kept some Miracle Noodles in your pantry? That's I guess the brand name for shirataki noodles, a type of noodle made in Japan for the past couple thousand years. They're made from a type of yam and have no calories or carbs or anything (somehow). I've had the angel hair type and they're very much like rice noodles. They take on the flavor of whatever you cook them in. So if you really want a bowl of noodles, you could cook some of the shirataki noodles in some broth and add some veggies or a beaten egg (like egg drop soup) if that sounds good :)

ILoveVegetables
11-17-2013, 02:15 PM
Today was good, and thanks for the advice. I'm thinking of having one cheat day every two weeks or so. If I know I can have one day where I don't have to think about controlling portions, it'll be easier to do it for the rest of the days. On the other hand, I've also heard that having cheat days aren't a good idea because you never really get used to eating healthy as a lifestyle. What do you guys think?

thesame7lbs
11-17-2013, 03:18 PM
Mrs Snark and Mainecyn, great advice in your last two posts. I think the "all or nothing" mentality is a HUGE achilles heel for people with binging or overeating problems. We have one "bad" thing, one "off-plan" thing, one high-calorie indulgence and we think I've failed! I've blown it! It's over! Think about it -- you can eat a 1,000 calorie piece of cake (in addition to a regular day of food) and it may cause a blip on the scale. But so often, after eating that cake, we say, "I suck, I'm a failure, I'm a loser, I'm a pig, etc etc etc" and throw in the towel (or, for bingers, we keep eating).

ILoveVegetables, there are as many different opinions on "cheat days" as there are subscribers on 3FC. :-) The consensus (as I see it) is that some people can do it, and get right back on the wagon, and some people can't. For me, I can't live on 1600 or 1800 or 2000 calories each day for the rest of my life. I love going out to amazing restaurants, or sitting around a table with good friends, good food, and good wine and not trying to estimate the calories in the meal in front of me. But I don't call them "cheat days." I call them "eating like a normal person" days. No stigma. I'm not cheating anyone or myself.

mainecyn
11-17-2013, 03:23 PM
I say do what works for YOU. Id personally not even call it a cheat day, implies you are feeling guilty or not allowing certain things. Just once in awhile allow yourself to lax your rules a bit, that's all. Don't worry and stress on it. I don't remember the name of the eating program but remember years ago someone telling me of an eating plan hey followed where it was pretty reugular weekly and once or twice a month they were allowed to eat whatever they wanted. They didn't have issues of big binges like I do, it worked for them and I think it help establish a healthier view of food for them because there was no forbidden foods.:)

mainecyn
11-17-2013, 06:52 PM
I think nuts might be a no-no food for me. I hadn't had any for more than two weeks when I ate some last night. Ive had three fifteenth varieties sitting by the bed for months because always like smacking on them. However, this afternoon I ate more than I was going to. What's funny is two weeks ago I would've eaten the entire can and then moved on to something else. Today, I ate several handfulls and then stopped. The cashews tasted great and enjoyed them, but was able to stop. But, they are the only food ive found myself over eating and worried it could start me down a slippery slope, not to mention that calories wise they could stall any weight loss. Nuts always stalled me before. So, thinking to keep myself going, stay strong with this weightloss and not binging I need to not eat them...dang it. I probably wanna lay off the cheese as well. Ive had it everyday, often more than the serving recommend. My trouble started when I went looking for breakfast, nothing in the fridge I could eat, same issue at lunch. I need to shop and get acceptable go to foods. I don't know how I suddendly ended up with empty fridge. Today is I think day 19 for me binge free.

Mrs Snark
11-18-2013, 09:56 AM
Ilovevegetables -- I agree with thesame7 and mainecyn, "treat days" (or cheat days or however you prefer to think of it) work for some people and not for others. No reason not to try it out and see if it works for you, I think an open mind and a willingness to experiment is always a good thing. It could be a key strategy for you! Let us know how it goes!

I am now pretty used to eating healthy and I do occasionally have treat days. I can't do them frequently (more like every couple of months) but so far, so good.

ILoveVegetables
11-18-2013, 03:27 PM
Thanks so much for the different perspectives, guys. I've decided to try having one treat meal per week. I thought one day every week was too much, but every two weeks was too little, so I'll allow myself one meal per week to eat whatever I feel like (within reason). I've decided to try it out for a month to see if it works for me.

mainecyn
11-18-2013, 03:33 PM
Day 20 binge free for me. Can't believe I've gotten this far. :carrot:

I came home and made myself eat a high protien lunch, large hamburger patty. I had some errands to run and i was going to skip eating but not a good idea.
Tonight after work there is another appointment, my son has physical therapy. The appointment is at 5 so I knew skipping lunch, wouldn't be good idea.

I didn't step on the scale this morning. It was my first day back to work and I woke up at last 5 times afraid I'd over sleep. Then I was off track and forgot to weigh. I

MeganTheMushroom
11-18-2013, 05:41 PM
Today is Day 6, and it's going well.
Friday was great- I worked out in the morning, ate well all throughout the day, and didn't binge after getting home from a long day of classes and work.

The weekend was rough. Saturday I definitely overate, mostly from snacking way too frequently in the afternoon. I stopped eating after 6, though, and went for a walk instead of eating the pasta I made (which will now be tonight's dinner :) ).
The following morning I ate really lightly for breakfast and lunch to make up for eating too much on saturday- because my body wasn't that hungry and didn't need too much food. Eating lightly all day made me eat a little too much at night, mostly on dried figs after a heavy dinner. I got to go to yoga yesterday thought, since I didn't have work! I forgot how much I love yoga

darius
11-18-2013, 07:27 PM
I was doing pretty well this month but yesterday - i was starving all day and couldn't stop snacking. I was up 1 kilogram (2.2 pounds) last night before I went to bed and felt terrible. This morning I am up only .3 kg and I felt good; I felt like today is a new day and I will commit to doing a good job today and not to beat myself up over yesterday.

HuggerBunny
11-18-2013, 11:11 PM
ILoveVegetables, I'm doing the same thing as you- giving the once a week "free meal" thing a try. So far it seems to be working pretty well, but if it causes issues, I'll have to drop it. Tomorrow is my free meal for the week :)

Mainecyn, awesome job! 20 days, cool! And Megan, great job walking away from the pasta you cooked. It must have been really hard to decide to have something, cook it, then change your mind and save it for later. I'm a pasta junkie though. Can't believe I haven't had any since Halloween, that's the longest I've gone sans pasta probably since I was old enough to eat it.

Darius, good job leaving yesterday behind you and continuing on :) Glad you're feeling good about today.

Tomorrow is my first weigh in at the doctor's office. Kinda nervous, I hope I've lost an acceptable amount- I'm hoping for 5 pounds over the past 3 weeks. This past week was kind of rough in the eating properly department. I had the crackers with PB on I think Wednesday and then the raisin bran and sandwich the next day. Oops! Good news is we got to the store last night though and now I have lots of better food options.

mainecyn
11-18-2013, 11:18 PM
Darius,Same problem here. I have noticed that I need to eat something during the day even if I'm not hungry. If I do not at least something by 1 in the afternoon I will snack all late afternoon or after work. I can go all day and not eat anything until dinner, but then I set myself io for being hungry and just start eating everything.

Wow, I am ending day 20 and I really do not know how it is possible. I came to this board, and thread, at the absolute rock bottom with my binges. I can not even begin to explain how horrible the binges had become not to mention they had gotten to be daily. Nothing had worked and I had been out of control for months. Whatever it is this is working. I am still binge free, and still after more than a dozen attempts in four months I am living on Atkins and getting stronger. No urge to binge, to eat candy, cake, etc. I cant believe it

Mrs Snark
11-19-2013, 10:23 AM
Let's see, today I am 51 days binge free, and I had only one binge in the last 219 days. It goes without saying this is the absolute best I've ever done. :carrot:

ILoveVegetables
11-19-2013, 02:30 PM
Mrs Snark, mainecyn and everyone else, that's awesome. Seriously inspiring to know that it can be done without seeming like torture :p

I'm going to restart, with today as Day 1. I won't reset the day as long as I stick to my one treat meal per week. My first mini goal is to go one month without overeating or bingeing. I can do this!

mainecyn
11-19-2013, 09:44 PM
Wow Mrs Snark, that's something to be proud of and very inspiring! It makes me feel better knowing that it can be done.

Unbelievable stress at work today, 2 hour OSHA meeting, and unsettling (to say the least) phone call after work concerning the expense of my back surgery. It is looking like a mess right now, Dr. is saying "oops" I don't see that I made any notation saying it was caused by your work injury, I can't "tie" them together..I am now facing the possibility of having to pay for the surgery I just had outta my pocket. It was great that they left me the cheery voice mail.

Work has gotten so much worse and the two ladies in the office next to mine don't even try to lower their voices anymore when they talk about me and the fact that they have worked together to have the newer employee take over for the one retiring, well that just reminds me of why favoritism sucks.

I learned so much happened while i was out having surgery, getting overlooked sure seems to be the way things go for me..the latest "employee of the month" award given to me today doesn't make me feel any better..I won it last month too. Tried explaining to husband and he doesn't understand he kept saying well they have to post the job etc and train you like they said they would..I said listen, there is what is supposed to be done and then there is what really is being done. There is not going to be any interview, this lady hand picked her replacement and is already training her. Heard the two of them talking in their office this morning about me and how they have decided to tell the boss their idea that I should be given a certain part of a job I don't' want, change my schedule etc..the idea that someone else can decide things for me, change my job, give me aspects of a job that no one else wants..well it bothers me.

My husband kept telling me I could take this job I don't' want, which is just secretary, and then advance..I told him the job doesn't advance, that is why the lady that currently has it doesn't want it..I will go nowhere for years if I take that job, or should say, if I'm forced to do the job. Gone are the days where you could just let your job performance speak for itself its who you know even in the grown up world. I also learned that the other lady that started after me was just taken off what she had been doing and put in the office every afternoon and most mornings...how does that happen when I was told for 4 years you can't just create an office job, I'd put you in there full time if i could Cynthia..yup, sure..sorry to babble. Its been a bad day and these types of days are when i normally turn to food.

I have a husband that doesn't understand what work is really like, coworkers gossiping about me and planning my future with no input from me, and currently doing a job I don't' like. I am tired. Ive been in this job for 8 years now..tired of hearing what a valuable employee, what an amazing job I do, and yet i am over looked and stepped over constantly.:?:

Food wise, I had lunch today, thats it so far. I am trying to figure out what it is I want to eat. I made dinner but that doesn't sound good. This worries me becuase snacking is what causes binges and only planning meals and sticking to it works.

momwithdogs
11-20-2013, 12:33 PM
Hi girls!:hug:

Went AWOL for a few, but have been following from afar.

I think I need to stay in this thread only- ventured out to read a few in other parts of the forum and wound up feeling worse about myself. Who let's the internet get to them like that?!:dizzy:

Mrs Snark
11-20-2013, 12:49 PM
Hugs to you momwithdogs, I'm sorry you read yucky stuff, whatever it was let it roll off your back. There, it's gone. :)

ILoveVegetables
11-20-2013, 01:29 PM
Day 2 - Not very healthy food, but small quantities. Also had a super healthy breakfast after ages.

LisaTcan
11-20-2013, 01:55 PM
Congrats to everyone!!! You are all doing so well!!

mainecyn - 20 days!!!!

MrsSnark - 51 days!!!

I've binged (and purged :( ) twice this week and then last night I ate a burger and fries for dinner. I'm letting the fact that I can seem to lose anymore weight give me a "to h*ll with it" attitude and that is no good. I need to do what mainecyn mentioned and get back to meal planning every day. I find that really helps. I've been trying to skip lunch which never works and always makes me overeat or binge.

mainecyn
11-20-2013, 03:40 PM
Hi girls!:hug:

Went AWOL for a few, but have been following from afar.

I think I need to stay in this thread only- ventured out to read a few in other parts of the forum and wound up feeling worse about myself. Who let's the internet get to them like that?!:dizzy:

I do. I need to follow your example and just take control, avoid things and people that make me feel bad.

I've noticed I am eating less. I had two eggs this morning, this afternoon for lunch a few slices of salami and cheese. I'm drinking my water. I think my appetite is just winding down.

Day 21, half way thru. I am tired, but the week is almost over thank goodness. Tomorrow, more to do than today, but Friday is looking like it will be an easier day at work and at home.

I've got to come up with something for dinner that fill be ok for 3 different tastes..Chicken usually is pretty easy, I am planning on coating them in three different things, carb free for me, lower carb for my daughter, and something for my son and husband.

I am doing better today, no thoughts about snacks like I had last night.

Not stepping on the scale today, maybe tomorrow. I am not really comfortable today and I don't want anything to set me off, make me eat when I don't want to..stepping on the scale has a tendency to do that when I have that binge urge.

Arnotts
11-20-2013, 10:16 PM
Congrats to everyone!!! You are all doing so well!!

mainecyn - 20 days!!!!

MrsSnark - 51 days!!!

I've binged (and purged :( ) twice this week and then last night I ate a burger and fries for dinner. I'm letting the fact that I can seem to lose anymore weight give me a "to h*ll with it" attitude and that is no good. I need to do what mainecyn mentioned and get back to meal planning every day. I find that really helps. I've been trying to skip lunch which never works and always makes me overeat or binge.

Hi I'm new here but in the exact same boat. I binged 3 nights this week then got up super early to exercise it off but still probably didn't do enough to fix the damage. I'm almost to my goal weight and the binging only just started back up again, I thought it had gone away for good! I realise my calories are super low and have been for a long time so probably should up them, but then I'm scared I wont lose any more weight despite it still being under my recommended daily limit. Or it will take forever, and I'm so impatient! Although I realise binging will prolong it even more, I'm stuck.

love4allsizes
11-21-2013, 12:52 AM
I'd like to join for the rest of November and the evil December! I've just started intuitive eating for real, after many failed attempts. My last binge was November 1, because I did exactly what mainecyn described! Bought halloween candy for clearance and ate it all in the car (ahhh). But, I am confident that I can make it through this holiday season. I wish everyone the best !

mainecyn
11-21-2013, 09:02 AM
Day 22. I am more in control today than the past couple days. Thought id even lost little weight when stepped on scale read 169 then I thought about a donut and it went back to 170. But, ive stopped the gain the binges were killing my weight.

Mrs Snark
11-21-2013, 09:42 AM
Welcome love4allsizes and Arnotts!

Arnotts: Congrats on being so close to goal! Tough spot you've found yourself in, and I almost don't want to give advice because each of us have to do what works for us individually. But I do know that for me, going very low calorie (as a way to get to the goal number faster) inevitably leads to binges, which are always more detrimental to weight loss than eating a steady higher calorie daily diet.

It was a tough lesson for me. I remember being so proud of my awesome super low calorie days because they somehow made me feel powerful and in control and I'd always make excuses for them to rationalize why I'd only had 600 calories that day (but inside I was secretly pleased because I wanted to lose faster). They always came back to bite me in the butt. Always. And yet I repeated that pattern alot through my 30s.

Hang in there!

HuggerBunny
11-21-2013, 12:03 PM
Mainecyn, so sorry to hear work is getting so bad! It must be incredibly frustrating.

Momwithdogs, this is such a nice thread and I hope reading here makes you feel good!

Love4allsizes, welcome to the thread :) The people in here are very nice!

Mrs Snark, how bad is it to have lower calorie days? According to My Fitness Pal, most of my days are working out to about 800 calories. I'm not trying to limit myself, it's just how things are adding up. Don't want to cause any problems for myself! Once I add exercising to my day, I'll probably be eating more. Haven't added exercising yet because the health issues that led me to revising my eating habits and trying to lose weight caused me to lose a lot of blood and I became very anemic and weak. Happily though my energy is returning now that my body's not losing blood all the time!

So I had my doctor's appointment on Tuesday and I was really surprised to find out I lost 14 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. Was 220, now 206. I was hoping for a 5 pound loss so was really surprised, but pleased. My next doctor's visit won't be until January and my plan was to weigh myself at the doctor's office only, but I'm not sure if I really want to wait 6 weeks for my next weigh in. Might do it here at home in 3 weeks or a month. Got a ticker of my very own and decided to do bunnies for each 10 pounds lost, though I wish we had a cat smiley since my Grand Prize for getting down to my goal weight will be a kitten!

Exciting news for me and kind of TMI so proceed with caution- things looked pretty good at the doctor's appointment and if things are also good at my next one (including blood work), we're going to start trying to have a baby in earnest. Seriously hoping the Metformin will finally let me ovulate, and the doctor's going to prescribe Clomid as well. Ideally I'd be at a healthier weight before trying to conceive, but the doctor believes my uterus has an expiration date on it and we need to try to have a kid while it's still a possibility.

Mrs Snark
11-21-2013, 01:16 PM
HuggerBunny -- Congrats on your loss and the good news from the doc! I don't know how eating only 800 calories most days will affect you, we are all different. What did your doctor say about it?

My gut reaction is, "yow, I wouldn't want to eat only 800 calories per day, day after day, long-term", but that is just me. I maintain my current weight and have plenty of energy for running on more than double that amount of calories on most days, and maybe even more on weekends.

If you Google "very low calorie diets" I'm sure you can find information about possible negative effects, but since you are getting ready to try for a baby I'd really suggest a conversation with your doc!

Mrs Snark
11-21-2013, 01:27 PM
I've binged (and purged :( ) twice this week and then last night I ate a burger and fries for dinner. I'm letting the fact that I can seem to lose anymore weight give me a "to h*ll with it" attitude and that is no good. I need to do what mainecyn mentioned and get back to meal planning every day. I find that really helps. I've been trying to skip lunch which never works and always makes me overeat or binge.

:hug: I'm sorry Lisa! Hang in there! Meal planning sounds like a great idea!

Meal skipping never worked out for me either, it was set up for failure. My only exception is that occasionally I am not hungry first thing in the morning, but on those rare occasions that I don't eat breakfast my lunch is much bigger -- so I basically just eat my breakfast cals with lunch. Not the same as really skipping and cutting those cals out.

HuggerBunny
11-21-2013, 01:37 PM
Mrs Snark, maybe I should say about 900 calories a day on average? I have days that are lower (600 range) and days that are higher. I'm not TRYING to limit myself and don't want to have issues. The thing is that my menstrual cycle started getting all out of whack when I weighed about 160 pounds. That isn't that much, but apparently my cycle is very sensitive to weight. After about 160 pounds, I'm not sure how frequently I was ovulating. Can't conceive a baby if I'm not ovulating, all the Clomid in the world won't help that problem! Of course, there's a decent chance the Metformin will help me ovulate, but I can't depend on it! I'm not especially eager to add more calories every day since I am quite happy with how I'm doing it right now, since more calories might mean longer until I get to a weight where my body is actually willing to ovulate on its own.

The doctor estimated that we have a 50% chance of having a baby and I really want to do what I can to be fall into the happy 50%. I've always loved kids, went to school for a teaching degree, and now work with special needs children. My husband doesn't want to adopt. I fully support anyone who does not want to have children, but darn it, I REALLY do and never having a baby would be upsetting (to say the least). We originally wanted 3 and are now just extremely hopeful for 1, I don't want to blow my chances either by not losing weight fast enough OR restricting calories and causing issues.

Mrs Snark
11-21-2013, 01:45 PM
HuggerBunny - I totally understand! That's a lot of stress and I know you want to do everything just right and maximize your chances of conceiving!

I think when people do medically supervised very low calories diets, they eat special things (prescription bars/shakes or whatever) in order to make sure they are getting proper nutrients. That's why I thought your doc might be able to help make sure you get the MOST out of those calories you are eating! :)

HuggerBunny
11-21-2013, 01:53 PM
Good news is my doctor was super pleased with my weight loss. I thought she might say it was too much, but she was happy with it. I'm eating the things she told me to eat but it didn't occur to me to tell her how many calories I'm consuming each day.

My brother knows about our fertility struggles and gets really frustrated when he sees or hears about parents that don't take good care of their children because he thinks it's unfair that they get to have kids and I don't. Then one of my best friends has had a couple of abortions and I've been there for her when she's recovered each time, she always says she wishes she could give her fertility to me. This might be kind of odd, but I don't begrudge people who have kids easily. I'm always thrilled when a friend or relative has a baby and am only a little annoyed at the injustice of unfit parents having kids easily when I can't. Regardless, like you said, I want to do everything I can to make this happen, especially since there's kind of a time limit. I don't want to have a hysterectomy but I'll be devastated if it has to happen before I have a baby.

mainecyn
11-21-2013, 04:38 PM
Momwithdogs, this is such a nice thread and I hope reading here makes you feel good!

Love4allsizes, welcome to the thread The people in here are very nice!

Welcome. There are times in my day that this thread is the only place to turn. The only people that have the same thoughts as I do, the same struggles, it matters so much. You can share anything, as much (too much sometimes in my case) or as little as you want.

Good news is my doctor was super pleased with my weight loss. I thought she might say it was too much, but she was happy with it. I'm eating the things she told me to eat but it didn't occur to me to tell her how many calories I'm consuming each day.

Yipee!!! Great news from the your doctor is always welcomed. Way to go. I hope they really emphasized your over all health. I used to hate going to the dr when i was very over weight and trying so hard. The dr used to just keep saying drop the weight, didn't give me direction or recommendations at all.
I see my own dr this next week and I am worried over what he will say concerning my weight, blood pressure, everything. I also need to make an appointment for a pap test and see the dr who did my hysterectomy surgery. I haven't been in a couple of years and as a cancer survivor its really really not a good idea.

I need to do what mainecyn mentioned and get back to meal planning every day. I find that really helps. I've been trying to skip lunch which never works and always makes me overeat or binge.

Its the only thing that works for me Lisa. I get in so much trouble. I can work all day and into the night and just not eat. But, the second I get home I want to eat. It wouldn't be so bad if that meant I would eat dinner but then I get snacking on anything and everything, then dinner goes out the window and I eat whatever I want. I start getting very anxious if I can't decide in the morning what I will have for dinner. I buy in bulk and freeze meat so I have to decide in the a.m. before work what to take out for the evening meal. I do better on those days.

I noticed today that I also need to start bringing a snack with me to work. Or, leaving items there that I can snack on if need be. I have bought salami sticks out of the vending machine two times this week. Its not good. Since I'm doing ATkins they are a better choice than the chips or crackers that the machine has.

I am 22 days in binge free and really trying to take a collective look at my binge eating. I am still wobbly, not quite ready to say I can control it totally on my own all the time, but i want to try to break things down while I can be objective and not as emotional or defensive figuring out what it is I do and why I do it. I don't know why I try to fill myself with bags of chips or trays of cookies, forcing it it, when what i need to fill is my self esteem and confidence. To be able to look in the mirror and be ok with what I see. Hear that voice in my head say, you know your pretty smart, good job, and while

I may not totally like the reflection looking back at me value myself. See that person, those qualities stare back at me that my husband said first attracted him to me. See the smile, the life in the eyes, find my true passion. I lack all of these things, its why eat, why I binge.:hug:

I stopped at the grocery store this morning on my break and ran into my mil (she is actually my former mother in law but we remain best friends and she calls me her daughter still). We used to grocery shop every week together. I asked her if she minded if i tag along and she was thrilled. She, my mil, sees me with genuine love, she doesn't see the insecurities I have and is always proud of me. She isn't even my "own" mother but after 25 years she is the one mother I have a relationship with. If I could see myself as she sees me.

While shopping i picked up fresh veggies, some cheese, hamburger, eggs, sf sweet pickles, onions, and then a few snacks. I was looking at my cart compared to my mil and I had all whole foods, real foods. My mil's cart had bags of chips, saltines, cheese its, noodles, fish sticks, Gatorade, and so many fake foods in it I questioned the nutritional value. My mil and fil have type 2 diabetes, are over weight, and fil has so many health problems. MIL used to really get on me, my fil as well, over my eating or lack of eating certain foods. They have been with me thru "thick and thin" literally and I wish with all my heart I could get them to make changes. Both my inlaws, and their doctor, promotes a low fat high carb diet and it just isn't working for them.

Sorry to go on and on. I have all of this on my mind, and more at work. It was bad today. I had to drive a bus out north of town to pick up some students and the roads were so bad they should have been closed, bus slid everywhere and you couldn't stop at stop signs. There were idiots all over the road, this was at 6:30 in the morning. I work for the transportation department in our local school district and I will fill in and drive when they need someone. Rest of the time I'm in my office.

I then went back to my office and worked on some projects the boss gave me. I heard the boss "chew out and yell" at the man across the hall who I am supposed to work with. He was basically telling him to mind his own business and do what he tells him. My boss gave me a project that used to be this other co-workers. He has not been keeping up on it and its OSHA required. This man was supposed to being working with me for over a year and he is the biggest male chauvinist pig, wont work with me or hand over things so the boss will now just come in and take things from him and say Cynthia's doing this from now on.

Well long story short after the boss cut him in half this guy decided to talk to another employee in his office. I know he was trying to "save face" and make himself look better in this other employees eyes (be the man) and he had just but cut down..so I heard him tell her a bunch of rotten stuff about our boss how stupid he is etc and then I hear "and he gives those OSHA safety data sheets to Cynthia of all people and she doesn't know a damn thing about anything"...Well, I heard it, my stomach dropped, I went from hurt, to sad, to mad, to wanting to hide in embarrassment. I usually would just tuck my head down, leave work early, and swing by the doughnut shop on the way home. Instead, I decided you know what stand up for yourself.

I don't know what gave me a back bone today but I went right into his office and in my polite little voice said excuse me but you do realize I was given this assignment by our boss. You may not think I am capable of doing this project but you feel no one can do anything but you. He gave it to me because you have not shown yourself to be capable of keeping up with the assignment. I'd be more than happy to sit down with you and have you go over things, show me how you have done them. But, if you ever decide to talk about me again and question my abilities, either close the door so I can't hear you and everyone else walking by can't hear you either, or don't start talking about things YOU don't know about or have all the facts about. I took a huge risk, really really did. :o

Mrs Snark
11-21-2013, 05:13 PM
I'm cheering for you Cyn!

*doing a little Cyn victory dance around the room*

Everything you said to that idiot was very professional and appropriate and I think you did a GREAT thing standing up to the office bully (insert much worse words here!)! AWESOME!

LisaTcan
11-21-2013, 10:27 PM
Arnotts - yup we're totally in the same stop! I don't know what to stay except I know moderation is what works. I also know that accepting your "set point" works, so you might no make it to 123...I might not make it to 130. I think if you can't lose weight without eating a really low number of calories than maybe it isn't going to happen? Just what I've been told, I definitely don't practice what a preach!

HungerBunny - Hugs. I've never been in your situation, as I haven't tried to get pregnant but I'm sure it is very hard. I commend you for having such a positive, understanding attitude.

Mrs. Snark, mainecyn - thanks for the encouragement

----------
I've been a little depressed and have been kind of undereating the past few days days as I haven't had much of an appetite. I need to get a handle on it and buy some healthy groceries. I don't want to start a restrict/binge cycle!

mainecyn
11-22-2013, 09:23 AM
23 days today. Nothing major happening binge wise..but nothing weight wise either. Little discouraging but what can I do? I tell myself getting upset and eating or binging wont help. Tough past few days and weekend coming with birthday part tonight for one @f the kids etc.

MeganTheMushroom
11-22-2013, 09:27 AM
Wednesday was a little rough, and yesterday was a binge. Another one of those days when my stomach hurt soo badly from all the things I ate.
Today would've been Day 11, but I'm not too disappointed, since I feel like I'm really making progress. Although my binges can still pack in 2000 calories like that, when I binge, I don't keep doing it for the rest of the day anymore. Instead, I lie down until my stomach stops hurting and get out of the house.

Today is going well. I had some fruit and a small bowl of cereal and granola. No peanut butter, I had enough yesterday. :)

momwithdogs
11-22-2013, 12:02 PM
High five for Friday girls!:carrot:

I cannot believe this is the last weekend before the holiday season really kicks off. I hope we each make it through the trove of wonderful food headed our way.:dizzy:

Hugger- IF sucks and I am really sorry you're dealing with this. You are going to hear horror stories about Clomid, but it's not bad at all. Think of it as just 5 days out of the month and it's nothing.:hug:

HuggerBunny
11-22-2013, 12:46 PM
Momwithdogs, not trying to be nosy, but did you take Clomid and did it work for you? What was it like?

So I successfully resisted cookies! On Wednesday, my sweet husband made another batch of chocolate chip cookies, but he used Andes mints instead of chocolate chips. They were amazing. I had 2 and they were out of this world good. 2 went into the freezer and he took the rest to work. Earlier I was really wanting a cookie so I made some peppermint tea. Cookie craving gone :D I love peppermint! Also made a big pitcher of peppermint iced tea, just for the heck of it.

Now for some weird reason I want frozen bean and cheese burritos. The El Monterey ones that are really basic. They don't even taste like they have cheese in them, it just seems like refried beans in really doughy tortillas. Not that good. WHY do I want them?! We don't even have any in the freezer so there's no risk of me "breaking", that's nice! I've told myself if I still want them later, I can have refried beans for lunch :) Does anyone else crave weird things sometimes?

ILoveVegetables
11-22-2013, 03:32 PM
Day 4 - Wasn't well so I barely ate anything today. Not healthy, I know, but I don't feel bad about it since the scale shows me 1 lb lighter.

mainecyn
11-22-2013, 04:58 PM
No peanut butter, I had enough yesterday.

This is one of my downfalls as well. I just can't resist it whenever its available. I always say just a taste, a small taste..well 20 tastes later the jar is empty and its a good bet that I might have made 1/2 a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some of it as I'm eating it out of the jar.:(

I have been very very busy. Work, well there is still that feeling in the air. I don't know if it the gloom of the time change, or the shake up at work, but so many people are just being mean. The "nice" people just can't compete. I feel like we all have a bulleyes on us and its hunting season. :devil:

I left work early with a plan. I had to pick up my son at the high school and get his glasses repaired. I decided to leave work early. On the way I decided to see just how strong my resolve was. :^: I stopped into that donut shop, the one that I generally eat over a dozen at a time when binging. I had seconds thought but had already committed to the turn lane. I went in. Ok, first off, I have to admit that I could smell the dough. They make these donuts by hand so there is always dough proofing. Its the only thing I could smell. I wasn't bowled over by the smell, but it was pleasant. I also noticed that my reaction was different..there was no mouth starting to salivate, sweaty hands, already feeling the first bite..none of that.

I went shyly up to the counter when the lady called. I scanned the selections really quickly. I remember I told myself to see how it made me feel. Instead of ignoring the donuts I purposely saught out the Boston cream donuts on the shelves. I remember skimming over them, seeing them and mentally thinking ok, nothing..nothing happened, no reaction at all. No wanting them, no needing them. I ordered just two donuts, one for each of my kids at the high school. I do remember thinking at least they were both donuts that I don't care for. I remember walking up to pay and as she asked "anything else" I didn't even hesitate for a second I said NO. Generally, when I asked I always "remember" that I need to pick up donuts for everyone at work or everyone at home. This is the excuse I always make for picking up an extra dozen.

I walked out of that store with my head held high, no guilt piling up and waiting to rip into donuts. I set the two little bags on the seat next to me, fastened my seat belt, and started driving. I really questioned myself, took inventory of what was going on in my head and physically if I noticed anything. Nothing:hug: I decided to test myself by saying "you know no one knows I picked these donuts up I could eat them. I've been very very good for so long. No one would know. I also told myself after well you could eat them, but they aren't even ones you like, remember that, and would it really be worth it? Worth giving up how good I have felt about myself. Remember, I had said the other day I was really going to try to rationalize the binge eating and trying to figure out what is at the root of it.

I made it to the high school with both donuts intact. Nothing, no response. I could have had a box of newspapers sitting next to me. I picked up my son and we headed to the eye dr to get his glasses fixed, didn't want him to do the tape thing at school :o and while we were there the assistant told me that he qualifies for a fee replacement of lens because they are scratch free and wouldn't you know if Zak's glasses are full of scratches.

After the eye dr I had to stop at the food bank where I volunteer. I signed paychecks and while I was there the director reminded me to pick up my thanksgiving turkey that all us board members get. I did that, and since we qualify financially she often sends home a box of items with me since I don't get paid to volunteer on the board. I took it all home, got it inside put away. Ive done all the dishes, the laundry, make 8 dozen cookies, swept and mopped. I'm trying to keep busy. I will be heading back to work in a minute.

I feel I really past a test today at the donut shop. I faced one thing that always wins, always breaks me down, and I didn't feel the need to react. It is amazing. So, day 23 and going strong. I have noticed eating more and wanting things like slim jims :o more cheese, snacking things. I really need to focus on meals this weekend or i will get in trouble.

We are having a birthday party tonight for the middle daughter. Saturday, we plan on taking kids to a movie as a present..another place where snacking and the popcorn is difficult to avoid.

HuggerBunny
11-23-2013, 12:25 AM
Mainecyn, that's awesome! Great job resisting the donuts! I'm really proud of you :D I'm sure you can do great this weekend with the popcorn as well. Maybe just don't get popcorn at all? We don't get popcorn or snacks at the movies, just going to the theater is expensive enough that it's a once a year (or less, we didn't actually go yet this year) treat. Sorry to hear work is still bad though!

I'm not sure what in the world is going on with me today, but I had strong cravings for THREE things today. First was chocolate mint cookies, which I already mentioned- averted that one with peppermint tea. Second was burritos, just kind of powered through that one, distracted myself by taking a shower, and drank some great big glasses of super cold water (I love cold water). The last one was mac and cheese. I REALLY wanted mac and cheese and we happen to have a couple boxes of Kraft in our cupboard for my husband. Every night I write down what I plan to eat the next day and a cheese quesadilla (made with a low carb tortilla) and an apple were already my lunch plans, so I went ahead and ate that for lunch. It took care of the mac and cheese craving, yay! So the day is almost over and I didn't give in to any food cravings. Not as impressive as Mainecyn's accomplishment, but I'm pleased regardless.

Mrs Snark
11-23-2013, 10:43 AM
Oh jeeze, my husband is on a food jag. Man, he is making it tough right now. He is in the, "hey it's the holidays, what the heck, I'm going to eat it ALLLLLLLLLL" frame of mind. He just came home from the store with a ton of BOGO junk, just an absolute ton of crap.

I am trying to tighten up my eating to lose a couple pounds by the New Year and he is in a free-for-all! What a curve ball. I'm going to need to duct tape my mouth shut.

Arnotts
11-23-2013, 10:47 AM
Welcome love4allsizes and Arnotts!

Arnotts: Congrats on being so close to goal! Tough spot you've found yourself in, and I almost don't want to give advice because each of us have to do what works for us individually. But I do know that for me, going very low calorie (as a way to get to the goal number faster) inevitably leads to binges, which are always more detrimental to weight loss than eating a steady higher calorie daily diet.

It was a tough lesson for me. I remember being so proud of my awesome super low calorie days because they somehow made me feel powerful and in control and I'd always make excuses for them to rationalize why I'd only had 600 calories that day (but inside I was secretly pleased because I wanted to lose faster). They always came back to bite me in the butt. Always. And yet I repeated that pattern alot through my 30s.

Hang in there!

Thank you so much and I think this is really the best advice possible. I'm slowly reverting back to old patterns with this impatientness and need to realise slow and steady wins the race at weight loss. And I'm just getting worse and worse with the binging so I might as well just go with a healthy higher calorie plan as I'm gaining weight anyway.

Arnotts
11-23-2013, 10:52 AM
Arnotts - yup we're totally in the same stop! I don't know what to stay except I know moderation is what works. I also know that accepting your "set point" works, so you might no make it to 123...I might not make it to 130. I think if you can't lose weight without eating a really low number of calories than maybe it isn't going to happen? Just what I've been told, I definitely don't practice what a preach!


----------
I've been a little depressed and have been kind of undereating the past few days days as I haven't had much of an appetite. I need to get a handle on it and buy some healthy groceries. I don't want to start a restrict/binge cycle!

Yeah that's true. Why can't we just be happy with the weight we have lost? My problem is I don't see the weight loss anymore and feel like I look back up to 155 again. I'm going to try the same thing as you, eat more during the day even if I'm not hungry so as to avoid overeating later in the week.

EskaDee
11-24-2013, 06:55 AM
Mainecyn I just wanted to say I love reading your posts as I really relate to them and find your words so inspirational!

I've managed to go two weeks with only one semi-binge. I think this is the longest time I've gone without multiple binges in.... 7 years or so??!! I've managed to lose 3 lbs this week and the only thing I did differently was not binge. It scares me to think how much crap I've been putting into my body for so long if I lose 3lbs solely by not bingeing :(

My habits are starting to change too! My trigger is salty crunchy snacks, particularly potato crisps. Last night I permitted myself to buy one small packet to eat with a sandwich and I didn't want them! So I didn't buy them! I've never done that before :)

MeganTheMushroom
11-24-2013, 11:36 PM
This is one of my downfalls as well. I just can't resist it whenever its available. I always say just a taste, a small taste..well 20 tastes later the jar is empty and its a good bet that I might have made 1/2 a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some of it as I'm eating it out of the jar.:(


Yep, this is me the past couple of days. I have been doing badly... well, yesterday was really good up until after dinner when I ate a family sized bag of kettle corn, 3 bowls of rice, pasta, and bread. The day before was a peanut butter binge.
Today was great though. I wasn't hungry in the morning, so I didn't eat until almost noon (I woke up at 7). I worked from 8 to 1:15 today, so I was on my feet for most of that. Afterwards, I went up to the library to finish up my research paper due tomorrow. I had an apple for a snack, then a healthy dinner of some parsnip soup, garlic bread, salad, and some chocolate :)
I went to the art building to work on my painting homework, then finally went home after around 9. I had some trail mix and a cup of tea when I got home.

Tomorrow's going to be another busy day- a couple hours of work in the morning then 6 hours of class. But afterwards, I can finally relax (but still get homework done).
I'm going home on wednesday for the holiday. I don't even know what our plans are for the day... I love thanksgiving, but I'm going to try not to eat too much :)

Day 1 done.

Mak78
11-25-2013, 01:32 AM
Hello All,

It has been a really tough month for me. I have had a very difficult time staying on track. I am feeling very disappointed in myself and am struggling with some health concerns that would be greatly improved if I lost weight and was able to keep it off. I feel really discouraged which I hate because it doesn't do anything to help my motivation. I feel sort of lost again ,but I know that it is the old voice from the past trying to tell me that I can't control what or how much I eat. I know it's not the truth ,but somedays it feels like it is.

I am at this point in my life that I now have these health issues that would either resolve or be greatly improved and that should be such an incredible motivator , but instead I feel really overwhelmed and stressed about it and that always leads to eating too much of the wrong foods.

On a positive note although I have been overeating I have not had anymore binges other than the one I had at the beginning of the month. And even despite my inclination to not seek support when I am struggling here I am sharing my struggles.

I hope everyone is well. :-)

Mrs Snark
11-25-2013, 12:01 PM
Happy Monday, all. I can't believe we are in the last week of November! Already! Hope everyone has their Thanksgiving strategies in place. I've been working mine in my head and am not feeling very stressed about the day. Once I gave up the idea of having pie I felt alot of my stress dissipate, so that's good. Who needs the stress!

Mrs Snark
11-25-2013, 12:04 PM
Mak - I'm sorry you are having such a rough month. It is very stressful to make changes, even when you have a very good reason for making them (like health). I can understand feeling overwhelmed. Do you follow a particular plan?

Rhiko
11-26-2013, 06:31 AM
Ugh... I've been having such a hard time since my fun run nearly 10 days ago. Granted, I was probably too hard on myself because I just knew I could've done better. I should've run the course before the day to put my energy to better use on the day. So, I've been moving past that aspect of the day, but another aspect disturbed me: they way my boobs bounce when I run. I know mine are relatively large (DD/E), but I just thought that my bras were stopping them from moving so much. This has caused me to avoid running because I dislike them--always have--and I feel so self-conscious because of an instance or two where girls made fun of me...and they just get in the way and drag me down.

So, I've been trying to get passed these issues and I have been out for a run since to 'get back on the horse' and I forced myself to ignore everyone--even when I saw people staring at them (which is only natural curiosity). However, my TOM has been looming and I always hate running the week leading up because it's uncomfortable. That feeling coupled with my self-consciousness has seen me avoiding running.

To top it off, this weekend I've reached my breaking point with a friend and, well, completely cut her off. She only communicates with me through Facebook telling me that she has no money--even though I know she spends $$ texting the dirtbag guys that are interested in her. I say interested in her because she'll fall in love with anyone that gives her attention. On top of that, she has the maturity of a 10-year-old and no matter how hard I try, she can't move passed that. I mean, I try explaining to her my position in her recent decision (which I won't get into) and finish with telling her I was obviously upset, and all she says is 'oh no, are you ok?'
So I blocked her. That was Sunday and I haven't heard anything. I'm the obsessive type when it comes to people because relationships are hard for me to figure out and sometimes I say things that upset people--though I have no idea how it all happened!

As you can imagine, my diet is suffering. I haven't seen the scales for, ooh, maybe a week. I'm too scared to get on them and have a look because I've been indulging. It doesn't turn into a binge, but my impulse control dial has been turned down a bit. I baked a cake yesterday and of the half that's gone, I've had 3/4 of it in the last 24 hours. Plus, we were saving or fizzy drinks until closer to Christmas because they were cheap and I was thinking ahead... I cracked one of them--a 1.5L- open and had one in, say, 36 hours. Usually I can spread it out over 5+ days, having little bits at a time.

I just have this tight feeling in my chest where I don't know whether to explore or let it go. My head tells me to let it go, but I'm just waiting for two things to happen: my friend to finally stop playing the victim and message me for closure (because I'm NOT becoming friends again) and for someone to comment on my bouncing chest while I'm out running.

I know you'll tell me not to be, but sorry for ranting and letting it all out. I just needed an outlet and everyone on 3FC has been patient and understanding :) :hug:

I'll be all right; I know this is just a curve ball meant to make me stronger.

Mrs Snark
11-26-2013, 02:09 PM
Rhiko -- venting is good, let it out!

After you vent, sometimes it helps to go back and re-read your own post and pretend it was written by someone else completely (at least I do this, does any one else?). Pretend I wrote your post, instead of you. What advice would you give me? I find this a good exercise in finding solutions that actually work for me, because I automatically suggest things from my own frame-of-mind and perspective.

Hang in there!

mainecyn
11-26-2013, 04:10 PM
Mainecyn I just wanted to say I love reading your posts as I really relate to them and find your words so inspirational!

I've managed to go two weeks with only one semi-binge. I think this is the longest time I've gone without multiple binges in.... 7 years or so??!! I've managed to lose 3 lbs this week and the only thing I did differently was not binge. It scares me to think how much crap I've been putting into my body for so long if I lose 3lbs solely by not bingeing :(

My habits are starting to change too! My trigger is salty crunchy snacks, particularly potato crisps. Last night I permitted myself to buy one small packet to eat with a sandwich and I didn't want them! So I didn't buy them! I've never done that before :)


Thank you so much. I am sometimes a little too honest and share too much :o but if someone else doesn't share things, totally honestly, how can we not feel like we are the only ones with the problem? Congratulations on going two weeks binge free :bravo: I am so proud of you. It sounds like we both have the same concerns, worrying about just what type of damage we have done to our bodies with the cycles of binging and at times starvation. I have stomach and digestive issues that will never go away, ulcers as well.

I am still binge free, 26 days. I did up my carbs and allow myself some snacks this past weekend that I hadn't been doing, but I didn't binge or over eat. I am trying. I wanted to stick to total induction but I allowed myself the extra. I still am eating less and even though I am not dropping weight I am NOT binge eating and I am not gaining 5-7 lbs on a weekend. It is a new feeling for me:) I am still doing well, not as strong emotionally as I had been, its been a very tough week. But, I am still going. I also have till Thanksgiving to drop the 2 lbs I have left for my early goal..I signed up to drop 7 lbs by Thanksgiving. I may not have dropped any in a long time but I am trying to focus on the fact that I have already lost 5 lbs. It just gets harder to stay positive and motivated.

Work, well its work and the drama just keeps continuing. I don't know if it will ever stop. I am planning on tacking all my days off this week instead of just Thursday for Thanksgiving. I'm worried that I will snack the entire time and I will need to find something to keep myself busy and not focus on food.

Fiona W
11-26-2013, 05:20 PM
Howdy y'all, it's late in November and maybe I should wait for the December thread before I join the gathering, but the fact of it is, I need this thread now. In the 5 weeks or so that I've been on 3FC, I've found a couple of other good threads, and posting to them has been helpful, but no one seems to understand what a problem I've had with emotional eating. I suppose I could call it compulsive eating, too, since it certainly is compulsive, but I don't tend to think of it as binge eating, because the quantity of food I eat during my episodes isn't always very big. Something as seemingly innocent as eating three cookies can be one of my episodes, if the compulsion is there and the emotions are there. (Maybe I don't know the definition of "binge eating.")

My big weakness is sweets, especially cookies, candy & donuts. I don't feel tempted to indulge when I'm happy—only when I'm angry, frustrated, or blue. I had gotten to a point a few months ago where it was so bad, cookies had become a drug for me. I would think about them dreamily like a drug, crave them like a drug, seek them out like a drug, and savor the buzz I got from them as if they were a drug. I wasn't embarrassed about eating them in front of anyone else, but I developed a bigtime habit of eating them alone in my car, because I didn't want anything or anyone to distract me from my "drug experience." And I also appreciated the feeling I would get from having the cookies in my stomach. There is no way I was ever inclined to binge & purge.

I'm writing about my cookie fixation in the past tense, because I really am trying to put those days behind me. Not because I am fat, not because I need to lose weight, but because I'm sick and tired of behaving like a drug addict. I'm ready to give this pattern up, even if it means facing up to some pretty ugly feelings.

I'm on Atkins, and I only weigh myself once a month, on the 22nd. When I weighed myself on November 22nd, I had only lost 1.6 pounds in a whole month. Why? Because I wasn't really doing Atkins. I was doing Atkins plus emotional eating episodes.

So I have a new mini-goal, for the month starting 11/22 and ending 12/21: I want to have NO emotional eating episodes for thirty days.

And I'm scared.... I've never gone a whole month without an episode before.

But I'm not afraid that I won't be able to do it. No, I'm afraid I will be able to do it. And as a result, something awful will happen...but I don't know what that something awful is...it's an irrational, nameless sort of fear.

Do any of y'all know what I mean? Are any of y'all afraid, too, of the consequences of eating like a normal person, like someone who doesn't have a problem with emotional/compulsive/binge eating? Or have you been afraid of those consequences in the past, but not now?

Or am I all alone in this crazy thinking...

MeganTheMushroom
11-26-2013, 11:18 PM
Welcome Fiona!
I know exactly what you mean about food as a drug. There have been times when I had such bad cravings that I could focus on nothing but the food I wanted. I get less work done when I'm binging. I sometimes think why it's so hard to stop, even when I know how badly I want to eat intuitively, not obsess over food and feel the need to cook alone and eat alone. I don't know why it's so hard to achieve.

But today is Day 3 for me. Yesterday got sloppy after dinner. It took everything in me to put a half finished bowl of post-dinner oatmeal/granola cereal in the fridge, but I managed it.
Today I stuck to fruit after dinner. I got myself to brush my teeth and not eat anymore, so today is done and over.
Tomorrow I'm going home and will be stuck in a car for 4 hours. Then I'll get home and hopefully do well and not fall into a "Oh I'm home, I'll eat whatever I want" state of mind.

ILoveVegetables
11-27-2013, 12:51 AM
Hi guys, confession time for me.

The good news is that I haven't binged apart from my one meal in the week (when I ate like a BEAST and felt like dying afterward... never again). The bad news is that somehow I find myself 2 lbs heavier, and it's not the normal fluctuation. While I haven't been bingeing, I know I haven't been controlling my portions like I did a month ago. I'm getting really frustrated with myself at this lack of control. I remember when I first started a couple of months back and I lost 6 lbs really fast and felt on top of the world. I want that feeling back, but I'm too hungry to work for it, and it's annoying me.

Also, I haven't posted in this thread for that very reason, because I felt embarrassed to come and say that while others are managing weeks and months without overeating, I cave within a week and manage to gain weight.

My one saving grace is that TOM is starting soon, so I hope to god this weight will go down in a week or so, but I feel like I'm just grasping at straws here.

Sorry for the mini-rant. I've just had a bad couple of days and seeing the scale this morning was the cherry on the cake.

Fiona W
11-28-2013, 01:00 PM
Just checking in to say "HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!" to everyone. I'm working on Day 7 right now of my project to go 30 days without an emotional eating episode. I'm not going to the turkey dinner hosted by my sister-in-law, because if I went, I'd have a couple of glasses of wine. The wine wouldn't be a problem in itself, but I'd get just enough disinhibited that I'd want to have a piece of pie, or whatever else was sweet & tempting. Once I started having sweets with the family, I'd be a setup for going out and getting cookies afterwards. That's a chain of dominoes I just don't want to knock over.

I'm not big on Thanksgiving anyway, or any other family-related events, because I had an abusive childhood. Too many bad memories. So... sorry if that constitutes raining on anyone's parade, because I certainly don't mean to do that!

I do use this time of year to make lists of things I am grateful for. Close to the top of this year's list is 3 Fat Chicks: I really appreciate the support and sharing in this community. Thanks, y'all!

So have (or I hope you did have) a great turkey day, everyone!! =smile=

Rhiko
11-29-2013, 08:24 AM
Rhiko -- venting is good, let it out!

After you vent, sometimes it helps to go back and re-read your own post and pretend it was written by someone else completely (at least I do this, does any one else?). Pretend I wrote your post, instead of you. What advice would you give me? I find this a good exercise in finding solutions that actually work for me, because I automatically suggest things from my own frame-of-mind and perspective.

Hang in there!

Thanks! I took your advice and that of others on 3FC and vented in the Dear (whoever)-Letters you wish you could send! (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/286419-dear-whoever-letters-you-wish-you-could-send.html) thread. I believe it has helped me let go, since I find that I can't until I either confront the perpetrator, which wasn't an option, or let everything out.

Today I realised that I was fooling myself a little. I had been binging on junk and pulling the wool over my eyes that it was only small indulgences. No matter. I'm keen to get back into my running and just ignore my self-consciousness--especially since I've gained about 1.5-2kgs, which takes me 1-2 months to lose :cry: :mad:
I've learned my lesson on emotional eating: it feels great while I'm binging, but it undermines everything I've achieved. :)

I hope everyone else has done well this month! If not, no matter, we'll do better next month! We have to believe in ourselves, because we're the only ones who can make changes in our lives.

LisaTcan
11-29-2013, 10:00 AM
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! I had a horrible eating day yesterday. I don't think I ate anything but carbs! Bagel, donut, pizza, bread and cheese, burger, booze!! Oh man I feel gross today :(

Fiona W
11-29-2013, 02:17 PM
Rhiko and LisaTcan— Sorry to hear y'all have been having trouble with your eating. Have either of you read Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge? I'm new to this thread, so I don't know whether this book has already been discussed to death, but I must say, when I finished reading it yesterday, it was like a blast of fresh air for the head. In fact, Hansen's detailed but boldly practical idea is probably going to be a total game-changer for me. I haven't tested her technique against a serious urge to binge yet, but already I feel much less apprehensive about my future relationship with food.

I'm curious to know what y'all think of it, if you've read it...

shr1nk1ngme
11-29-2013, 02:46 PM
Hi friends! Just checking in here because I am really suuuper tempted to eat Thanksgiving leftovers for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but I really need to get back on track today after being a little indulgent yesterday (but not too bad). Anybody else struggling to keep away from the fridge this morning?

Just tell me I can do it and I'll believe you.

Plus I am sooo tired since I cooked the entire feast yesterday single-handedly, and today I am decorating the house for Christmas (there are boxes, boxes everywhere) AND I have to be done (house decorated, boxes away, floor swiffered clean again) by five PM, because that's when the guests are arriving for my teenage daughter's birthday sleepover. After that it's pizza (not for me), going out for pie (none for me), and then the girls are staying up all night watching movies, eating pizza, popcorn, and pie, and watching DVD's all night long.

I am so overwhelmed I just want to eat. And eat. And eat.

But I'm not gonna do it.

Sheesh what a long weekend.

OK, gotta go get back to work now. I'll check back in later.

Mrs Snark
11-29-2013, 03:58 PM
You can do it shr1nk1ngme! Close your eyes and think about how you will feel in the 5 minutes right AFTER indulging in the leftovers. Really imagine it. Do you want to feel that way? I'm betting NOPE.

Now go eat a lovely salad (or whatever is your on-plan yum yums) and think of today as a cleansing day after Thanksgiving. :)

Fiona W
11-29-2013, 04:44 PM
shr1nk1ngme— You can do it! You can tell those urges to overeat just exactly what you think of them, and where they can get off. I'm sympathetic with you about having a bunch of teenage girls in your house chowing down on junk food: that sounds tough!

Mrs Snark
11-30-2013, 08:55 AM
Last day of November, ladies, the whole month is behind us now, can you believe it?

Good luck moving forward in December!

missunshine
12-01-2013, 11:19 AM
hi guys...i'm back after two months and guess what...i gained about 12 pounds in these two months!! i binge almost every day. that's my confession.
my boody is itchy and i guess that means new strech marks :(
for a while i was doing good but ever since i moved to a new appartment with new people it's been going downhill. i feel such a pressure because i'm different from them and guilt to be around them when i should be studying and in the end i don't do either of the two. in 3 weeks i'll be returning home and i don't want to go back all blown up, i must do something asap. maybe i'll join a new gym tomorrow but i'm so broke currently because i haven't gotten my scolarship.
so here's to a new month, binge free december

mainecyn
12-16-2013, 03:51 PM
I just came back back to read over several of the posts from November for inspiration and strength. I was in control and "high" from my success. Just looking to recapture it.

Mrs Snark
12-18-2013, 07:41 AM
Smart idea Mainecyn.

Also, I saw on the other thread where you said you felt like you'd "ruined" all that work from when you were 25 (or more, I might be misremembering the number) days binge-free. You haven't ruined anything. All those days of hard work are still there, counting. You did that work, it still stands and counts towards your physical and emotional health. Every day you add, whether they are in a string of days or solo moments COUNTS. Every binge avoided COUNTS!

I'm glad you are feeling more in control now. Sending you lots of positive vibes!