Chicks in Control - Feeling guilty




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Chulel
10-30-2013, 11:54 PM
Hi,

I used to be stuck in a cycle of going on diets and then overeating. I can remember that I used to feel so guilty after overeating and I was wondering, has anyone felt the same way? And why do you think that is?

I'm trying to figure out if I felt guilty because of the way my body looked or because of the way that I was pigging out? Maybe both?

Guilt is quite a heavy emotion tied to going against deeply seated moral and ethical beliefs and I just can't figure out how eating a large amount of food or looking a certain way has anything to do with ethics and morals?

Please share your experience and thoughts! I am very curious about this! =)

Regards, Natalie


freelancemomma
10-31-2013, 08:30 AM
Guilt is quite a heavy emotion tied to going against deeply seated moral and ethical beliefs and I just can't figure out how eating a large amount of food or looking a certain way has anything to do with ethics and morals?

Are you sure it's guilt you're feeling and not just irritation with yourself? I know I often feel very irritated with myself when I pig out. If I sit down and think about it, it's because of the effect it will have on my body rather than the pigout itself. If I could eat 5,000 cals per day and not gain an ounce, I don't think I'd feel much, if any, of that irritation.

F.

thesame7lbs
10-31-2013, 10:01 AM
I wish I had some insight, but I am more of a post-binge anger + disappointment + frustration + sadness kind of girl.


tefrey
10-31-2013, 01:06 PM
Hi Natalie!

I can totally relate. Big hugs!

What works for me is:

1. The right diet. If you are on the right diet for you, it will be much easier to stay on track. Think about why your previous diets failed and try to find a diet that will keep you on track. And remember: the right diet is not the same for everyone, you need to consider what your body needs and how your brain works.

2. Forgive the slip ups. A bad meal or a binge isn't the end of your diet ... unless feelings of shame and self-recrimination cause you to give up. So when you overeat, forgive yourself, analyze what went wrong, and make changes. Then forgive yourself again.

3. Allow yourself to go (slightly) off plan now and then. I don't believe in having a cheat day but an important part of dieting is allowing yourself the things you crave while practicing moderation. Decide what and how much you are going to eat (or drink) and make sure that you stick with what you decided. One warning though, don't schedule to go off plan very often ... every time you do you risk setting off your cravings.

4. If a certain food causes you to overeat, banish it from your life for at least a month to give you time to detox. Hopefully, in time, you will be able to eat anything you want in moderation ... but it can take a while.

5. Think of ways to make yourself feel good and stay committed. Some people keep a scrapbook of before and after photos, others make jewelry with beads symbolizing the weight they've lost, still others hang onto articles of clothes from before the diet, and put them on to show how much smaller they are now!

Successful dieting is a huge undertaking and it can really play with our emotions. Recognizing that is a big first step!

Chulel
11-01-2013, 01:32 AM
Are you sure it's guilt you're feeling and not just irritation with yourself? I know I often feel very irritated with myself when I pig out. If I sit down and think about it, it's because of the effect it will have on my body rather than the pigout itself. If I could eat 5,000 cals per day and not gain an ounce, I don't think I'd feel much, if any, of that irritation.

F.

That is a good point! But I think I would feel disappointed with myself rather than annoyed and that disappointment in turn made me feel guilty.

So I guess maybe I didn't feel guilty because of the binging in itself but because I had let myself down and once again created a greater distance between myself and my goals.

That conclusion leads to the next question: What moral belief is behind feeling guilty for letting yourself down? (if that makes sense)

Getting deep here.. =P

Chulel
11-01-2013, 01:41 AM
Hi Natalie!

I can totally relate. Big hugs!

What works for me is:

1. The right diet. If you are on the right diet for you, it will be much easier to stay on track. Think about why your previous diets failed and try to find a diet that will keep you on track. And remember: the right diet is not the same for everyone, you need to consider what your body needs and how your brain works.

2. Forgive the slip ups. A bad meal or a binge isn't the end of your diet ... unless feelings of shame and self-recrimination cause you to give up. So when you overeat, forgive yourself, analyze what went wrong, and make changes. Then forgive yourself again.

3. Allow yourself to go (slightly) off plan now and then. I don't believe in having a cheat day but an important part of dieting is allowing yourself the things you crave while practicing moderation. Decide what and how much you are going to eat (or drink) and make sure that you stick with what you decided. One warning though, don't schedule to go off plan very often ... every time you do you risk setting off your cravings.

4. If a certain food causes you to overeat, banish it from your life for at least a month to give you time to detox. Hopefully, in time, you will be able to eat anything you want in moderation ... but it can take a while.

5. Think of ways to make yourself feel good and stay committed. Some people keep a scrapbook of before and after photos, others make jewelry with beads symbolizing the weight they've lost, still others hang onto articles of clothes from before the diet, and put them on to show how much smaller they are now!

Successful dieting is a huge undertaking and it can really play with our emotions. Recognizing that is a big first step!

Thank you so much for all your ideas! The world need more of supportive and dedicated people like you! =)

I have to say though that I am actually a former dieter, in other words, I have left the dieting behind after doing A LOT of work with my beliefs, feelings and thoughts around myself, my body and my eating habits. Nowadays I pretty much eat what I want and what I know is good for my body and beneficial for my general well being.

I lost 25 kilos after my first pregnancy (my daughter is 20 months) so I guess it works ;)

But, in saying that, there's always more to learn about yourself and your behaviour, past or present, that's the actual reason I'm on this forum =)

Chulel
11-01-2013, 01:47 AM
I wish I had some insight, but I am more of a post-binge anger + disappointment + frustration + sadness kind of girl.

No you're not, It's just who you think you are. Behind all the anger, disappointment, frustration and sadness there is a beautiful flower waiting to blossom.

Every seed has to go through some dark s*it before they reach the surface and realise the world is full of light.


<3 <3 <3

freelancemomma
11-03-2013, 06:58 AM
That conclusion leads to the next question: What moral belief is behind feeling guilty for letting yourself down?

Well, morality is about right and wrong, so perhaps you feel you are "wronging" yourself by dishonouring the goals you've set for yourself. (Not that you actually are dishonouring them, but in the moment that may be how you feel.)

F.