General chatter - Dream about the death of my ex...

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10-22-2013, 02:18 PM
For the last month or so I've been having some really crazy dreams... they are almost like nicotine patch dreams for anyone who has experienced those. I've been wanting to write them down, but never seem to find the time.

The one I had last night was sad and disturbing, so I feel like I need to write it somewhere and see what other people might think about it. I know this isn't a dream interpretation forum or anything, so I hope it's not too off topic to post here.

Well, as the title says, I dreamed that my ex died. But I feel like I need to give some background on the relationship before I go into the dream.

I knew him for ten years before we dated, we have a lot of mutual friends. We dated for nine months. While the relationship was not perfect (obviously, we aren't together anymore) it was a really unique relationship in some very positive ways. For one, he was the only man I've ever dated who actually understood my vision problems and didn't give me crap about them or insinuate that I was faking. Some of you might remember my thread about this... I am legally blind in both eyes and have severe tunnel vision. This makes driving impossible. But other then that, I function normally. Normal functioning is what causes people to think I'm just faking, exaggerating, etc. He was completely blind in one eye. He also didn't drive because of this, but like me he also lived a pretty normal life. So, that was one way him and I bonded. He was also one of the few people I've dated who didn't have some kind of ex girlfriend hangup. I don't know why those types always find me. But I usually end up with guys who are either still in love with the ex, or the ex hurt them really bad and they decided to take all that anger toward her out on me. He didn't do this.

But, as mentioned, we did break up. It was the worst breakup I've ever been through. But I survived. We still talk occasionally. He is one that I think I will always carry a small torch for, even if it didn't work out. I am with someone else now.

So... in the dream he died. But I don't know how. And I remember being pissed off that no one actually told me. I learned about his death by seeing some of our mutual friends posting about it on facebook.

And someone told me he was being buried with a key to my apartment. I guess in real life I wouldn't mind this, even if it's bizarre. But in the dream there was no way I was going to let this happen. So, one of my friends and I broke into the funeral home the night before the funeral to steal the key.

So we got in there, and he was laying in a casket, all ready for the funeral. He was wearing a suit, which I thought was so strange. He never wore a suit in his life. And the morticians did such a bad job on his hair. He had really long curly hair... and it looked awful. The suit he had on had a lot of pockets... and I remember thinking why did it have to have so many? Because I had to look in all of them before I finally found the key. I found it in the last pocket. In another pocket there was also several hundred dollars. I thought for a split second about taking the money too, but decided not to. My thoughts were along the lines of "Well, I'm already committing a felony, why not take the money?"

My friend kept telling me to hurry up. She was acting as a lookout while I was digging around in his pockets. When I was done and it was time to go, I stood there for a second looking down at him. I touched his face and said goodbye and that I would always miss him. And I even shed a few tears. It's actually making me tear up a little now just writing it.

So we left... and the next day I was at the funeral. I felt so paranoid that someone was going to discover that I stole the key. I had the key with me too, in my pocket. I kept reaching in my pocket to feel it and make sure it was still there and didn't fall out. No one found me out I guess. I woke up shortly after that.

I really don't know what made me dream this. My current boyfriend just told me he loved me for the first time this past weekend... maybe that has something to do with it, idk. I've been waiting for a long time to hear that from him. Maybe this means it's time to bury the past, (no pun intended.)

Does anyone have any thoughts or comments?

10-22-2013, 04:56 PM
I will preface this by saying I'm no expert but your dream seems rife with symbolism.

Death in a dream often indicates the loss of that person in your life. Perhaps you just recently came to terms with the fact that this relationship is truly over (possibly even the friendship aspect of it?) Perhaps it was that your BF told you he loved you that triggered this. Or maybe it's something your subconscious has been working through for a while.

The key may represent his access to you. And taking the key back might mean you don't want him to have that access.

The pockets may indicate confusion or roadblocks. I used to have dreams all the time where my efforts would be stymied by something- a phone that wouldn't dial right, stuff like that. The pockets appear to have been there for a symbolic reason.

Again, I'm guessing. I used to have dreams just full of symbolism and completely understand the frustration of trying to figure them out. Some stuff is obvious but most stuff is more subtle.

10-22-2013, 07:34 PM
Eagleriverdee pretty much said it all.

I agree that you're mourning the friendship. Considering that you envisioned him in a horrible suit and bad hair cut I'd also venture to say that you're brain is remembering the relationship as it really was (unattractive at the end), rather than romanticizing it.

But of course, I too, am making this all up from my own thoughts.

10-22-2013, 08:58 PM
Oh yea... tons of symbolism here. I thought that too. I have more to say but want to wait till I get home. Too much to type on my phone.

10-22-2013, 10:45 PM
The other pockets represents the rest of his life without you. I wonder if there could have been other girls' keys in there!

His dead body is the dead relationship. You stealing the key back is really you claiming your power back, even though he stole your heart/had the key to your heart.

It's ironic that you felt so powerless YOU felt GUILTY for "stealing" your OWN key back/taking your power back!!

Finding out on FB about his death is the feeling that he has/had a whole other life without you and how is that possible.

10-23-2013, 02:03 PM
Last night I had a disgusting sex dream about yet another ex... this one I find repulsive. He cheated on me with one of my friends, and he was a financial abuser. Him and I also worked together and he gave such a sob story to all these people at work (especially the women) about what an awful person I am.

A lot of exes are showing up in my dreams lately... I have even been dreaming about my boyfriend's ex girlfriend. I mentioned that a lot of the guys I date have ex girlfriend complexes... Well my current boyfriend is no exception. I think he's getting over his though. He realizes it's a problem and I know he wants to work through it. But the girl he has/had the complex about is the one I have had dreams about.

THanks to everyone for the replies. It helped me gain some insight. :)

10-23-2013, 03:18 PM
The fact that you've started dreaming about exes where things didn't work out well right after your BF told you he loved you makes me wonder if your subconscious isn't trying to warn you about something. Do your friends/family like this guy? I've often found that friends/family are terrific indicators of whether the guy is good or bad. If they don't like him, red flag.

10-23-2013, 05:40 PM
Yea, my friends and family love him.

I was actually dreaming about exes before he told me this. The ex dreams have been going on for about a month now. I think a lot of it has to do with his issues involving his own ex. I dreamt a few weeks ago that him and I got married and she crashed our wedding reception. She was really sweet to me and I didn't really mind her being there, but he was outraged and told her to get out. I also dreamed that I cheated on him... with her. Lol... I know that's a really strange one.

10-23-2013, 05:56 PM
I also dreamed that I cheated on him... with her. Lol... I know that's a really strange one.

Wild. Freud would have a field day with that one, I'm sure. :) Dreams can be so strange sometimes.

11-08-2013, 01:45 PM
Sorry to randomly bump this thread...

A week or so ago I Dreamt that he was engaged to someone else. And I remember waking up and thinking maybe my subconscious finally let go of him.

Then we come to last night...

I was alone in the house I grew up in. I don't live there now, so it was strange that I even was there. But I was there all by myself, and he stopped over. It was raining really hard outside so I let him in to get out of that.

There was a 12 pack in the fridge and him and I was sitting in the kitchen drinking and talking. I remember thinking maybe the two of us alone together and drinking isn't a good idea. But my dream self didn't seem to care much.

I was telling him about how my first grade teacher was really mean to me and she used to pull my hair. (and this is true, my first grade teacher actually use to do that.) She used to grab the really sensitive hair at the nape of my neck and just pull really hard. I reached over and grabbed his hair the way she used to grab mine, but I didn't pull it, I was just trying to show him. And he turned his face toward me and we kissed. It was just a short kiss at first but then we started kissing pretty passionately.

I let this go on pretty long before I stopped. When I stopped kissing him he asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I told him no, we can't be doing this, and I think he probably should leave. He apologized and left.

And then I remember sitting there with my laptop really upset and feeling really guilty. I was trying to get ahold of my boyfriend to tell him what I just did. But the computer wasn't working right. I was also debating with myself about if I even should tell him at all. It was just kissing, it's not like we had sex or anything... But I figured I should fess up and tell him and I was really scared to.

Then, when I was waking up and realizing this was just a dream, I remember thinking "Man... if I would have realized this earlier on in the dream I would have just let him take me upstairs." I know that's probably not healthy, lol. But I won't deny still feeling sexual attraction for this man.

So... that was pretty interesting... Thought it was worth updating.

11-11-2013, 03:09 PM
In your waking hours, do you feel there are unresolved issues with this ex? Or could he represent something else to you? For example, I dated a guy before my DH that was super fun, super exciting- but overall a bad boyfriend. Still, some of my best adventures were had with this guy. Multiple day remote kayaking trips, camping trips, rock climbing, etc. It took me years to get over him - despite the fact that I broke up with him- and I finally realized it wasn't him I missed. It was me, the way I was when I was with him. Since then, I've begun actively seeking adventure again. My DH isn't into the outdoors, so I joined an all-ladies Meetup group so I could still get my outdoor fix.

12-09-2013, 12:32 AM
I dreamed that my ex died.

I've copied a dream interpretation from a dictionary for you. Hopefully it will help.

"To dream about death represents change. Your personality or life situation is transforming for better or worse. An area of your life has come to an end, an era is over, or roles are shifting. You may also be preoccupied with someone else's death or illness. Alternatively, death in a dream can reflect failure or loss. " original source: