100 lb. Club - Words
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10-12-2013, 12:15 PM
I don't know why, and I know that it's not the author's intent to come across this way, but there are some words/phrases that seem so filled with self-loathing, that I physically cringe when I see them. I get self-hate/loathing. I'm good at it. But, I also *know* that we should love ourselves, no matter what shape we are in, because that doesn't change who we are.
etc, etc, etc.
I know its to express our astonishment that we were somehow that weight, but reading it as someone who is currently struggling at the weight that was so jaw-dropping...I guess it kinda makes me feel a little ashamed. Like, people look at me, or others that are struggling with weight, and see them as ungainly behemoths. I see this at all weights, be it 160 or 500.
I don't have a solution. I just kinda was struck by that while reading all theses success stories on other websites.
10-13-2013, 09:04 AM
I know what you mean...that can be disheartening. Yes, the hyperbole can be comforting when you've reached goal, but can sound insensitive to others who are still struggling. I just read a post yesterday somewhere about someone who couldn't believe that she'd "blown up" to 155 but her husband still loved her. Man, my GOAL weight is 10 pounds higher than that! I understand that if she's small-framed, that can be some extra weight that she'd need to lose...but why wouldn't her husband love her, no matter what she weighed? To me, it implies that heavier people aren't deserving of love.
10-13-2013, 01:07 PM
I hate the phrase "Tipped the scales". For one thing, we no longer use those balancing type scales so it's an obscure and outdated metaphor. But personally, I don't think I need my brain filled with any more nightmare images of something tipping over/breaking/falling from under me because of my weight.
10-13-2013, 03:16 PM
You know what other words I hate? The ones that are used in advertising. Maybe it's due to American Puritan heritage carry-over, but we use a lot of language in advertising tying our food behaviors to morality and "right and wrong". So you get words like:
As if our choice of food at a given moment has anything to do with our character as a person, and we should feel like we are morally righteous for choosing certain foods, and apologetic over other foods. I believe ( I have no proof, just gut instinct) that this may actually encourage disordered eating. If you believe that certain foods are "good" and others are "bad", then I think it leads to more secretive eating behaviors, and makes us more likely to lie to others about what we eat and when we eat it. I think it also encourages an atmosphere of judgement, or at least perceived judgement.
10-13-2013, 03:54 PM
HelloNurse - along those lines, I have always bristled at "cheat days" or any food-related "cheating." It's not the concept of a day or meal off that bugs me - I'm neutral on that, and I get that approach works well for some -- but I think defining those choices as "cheating" has a self-defeating, moralistic connotation that undermines one's efforts. I think you're exactly right that when we frame food in moral terms, it actually leads to more disordered behavior.
10-13-2013, 05:05 PM
Ohh, don't get me started on "cheat day" or "cheat meal". As long as it's a part of your plan, it's not cheating! I prefer to use the term "treat meal". As in, this isn't something I eat often but I want it for a treat, and I've made a plan to make it fit into my healthy lifestyle.