General chatter - I just need to express some sadness . . .




doingmybest
10-08-2013, 02:42 AM
I went online to try to locate a friend from high school, and I found out that that she died 6 months ago from breast cancer. I am sitting here in complete shock.

She was smart, funny, sensitive and a good friend. She was also tall, attractive and moderately overweight.

While we were in high school, I found out that she was extremely overweight in grade school and was horribly bullied by some of the other kids. Her mother was also very cruel to her about her weight in front of her friends, including her high school friends. All of her friends knew that this had a terrible impact on her. I used to try to comfort her and to talk to her about my own experiences of being overweight. She would never, ever talk about her feelings. She would put up walls, and escape into her books and fantasies about the future. I also remember that she always wore a poncho to school to cover up her body.

She had some great and definite ideas about what she wanted to see and do with her life, but as I learned from her obituary, she was not able to do most of them. She never married, never left our home town, didn't have the career that she wanted. I also learned that no one held a memorial service for her. That may have been at her request as her parents and brother had already died, but she did have some extended family and friends.

I imagine that her dreams may have changed over the years and I hope she loved the life she had. She did go to college (which she very much wanted to do), she had a job, hobbies and friends.

I am sad because:

1. A cure for cancer hasn't been found.
2. I didn't think sooner about getting in contact with her.
3. I am sorry that she was treated so badly about her weight. I am sad for anyone who is treated that way for any reason.
4. She didn't do all of the things she dreamed about.
5. No one held a memorial service for her.
6. I wonder if she ever knew what a great person she was.

I can't know how her life was. I will just hang on to my good memories of her.

Rest in peace, Julie.

Thank you all for letting me get this out. I think the lesson is to stay in touch with the people who are important to us and to let them know how special they are.


Cali Doll
10-08-2013, 07:34 AM
I'm very sorry about your loss, doingmybest. **HUGS**

And that's a great takeaway message. Thank you for sharing this.

veggiedawg
10-08-2013, 09:41 AM
Sorry to hear about your friend.

I also lost a friend from high school that I feel horrible about not staying in touch with. She was an awesome person and was friends with everyone. (she was just someone I wish I was more like)

Hugs.


cleancowgirl
10-08-2013, 10:00 AM
I am so sorry for your loss.

elvislover324
10-08-2013, 10:24 AM
I'm so sorry for you loss. I lost my sister 17 years ago and when some people find out, they are utterly shocked that we haven't been in contact for that long or that they never "heard".

I know you are so sad for her and the things she never got to have in life. Maybe you can do something in her honor, such as light a candle at your church, have a Mass said in her name, or even make a donation or do a walk for cancer in her memory.

I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer last year and it was due to the estrogen in my fat cells feeding the cancer (yuck, I know).

The best gift we can give this world is to get ourselves to a healthy weight, in a good eating and exercise routine, and spread the word, paying it forward.

{{hugs}} I hope the sweet and fun memories of your friend bring you comfort.

luckymommy
10-08-2013, 10:26 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend....anyone who knew her was lucky to have her in their lives and anyone who didn't appreciate it was...well....I'll let a higher power be the judge.

Hugs to you!

Arctic Mama
10-08-2013, 04:04 PM
It's so hard to lose people to people to disease. It just makes me long for heaven :(

EagleRiverDee
10-08-2013, 06:07 PM
I'm sorry for your loss. :( I lost a former high school friend this year, also, and understand the regrets for not staying in contact.

gailr42
10-08-2013, 07:42 PM
You have written a lovely tribute to your friend. I am teary eyed from reading it. Thank you for sharing.

doingmybest
10-08-2013, 08:01 PM
Thanks so much everyone for your beautiful comments. You all brought tears to my eyes. It really helps to express these feelings.

Elvislover: I am so sorry for the loss of your sister and your diagnosis. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. I am sending you big hugs. :hug:

EagleRiverDee and Veggiedawg: I am so sorry for your losses too. I think that losing a friend from school feels like losing a part of our childhood. It really hits hard when you think of that person when they were so young and the fun times you had together. :hug: