40-Somethings - New here. Need support please

View Full Version : New here. Need support please

09-11-2013, 03:48 AM
My background:

I'm 48, 5ft 7 and 11 stone. I think I'm about 36% body fat.

It feels like I've been counting calories all my life and never felt good about my body. As I'm getting older though I'm also feeling creaky and I have bouts of over eating which make me feel bloated and tired - although I generally eat healthily. I'm a vegetarian.

What I'm looking for is finding a way of getting rid of the excess body fat and toning up. My main problem areas are my torso (front and back) and I want to prevent the dreaded bingo wings.

I am a very 'all or nothing' person and on numerous occasions have decided to go on diets and start exercise routines - couch 2 5k, various DVD programmes and done great for a week but then not lost any weight so got fed up and given up.

I really want to sort myself out and would love some support.

09-11-2013, 06:34 AM
:welcome3:. I find the support on 3FC amazing. Make sure you join some support or a challenge if that is helpful to you. Some of the ones I have found helpful and most welcoming are Women on WEED.(water,exercise,eating,Determination) I also like what is currently the 40something September chat. Sometimes they turn it into a challenge too. Everyone I have found are welcoming and supportive.

I have been doing 3fat chicks since May I think. The support on here is helpful and I find it keeps me accountable. You can't be accountable if you don't post.
I record my food every day. Even when I cheat. I also try to exercise every day. I get it done first thing in the morning and often find I will get a second amount done later in the day when I do that. I try to get at least a half an hour. Currently on C25K week 4.
Hope this helps,

09-11-2013, 07:00 AM
Welcome Jaz, 3fc is a great tool for helping to get on track. Sometimes I just browse around different forums and read, lots of great stuff and great people on here.

I'm wondering if you might try focusing on either changing your eating habits or starting an exercise program, get that going and then add in the other. I've found that approach has worked for me in the past. I started with exercise and then worked (always working) on eating healthier.

If you need to be all or nothing, challenge yourself to stay on your program for longer than you did last time and if you fall off challenge yourself again to just try and stick with it longer than you did.

I'm doing c25k, too, just finished week 2, trying to just focus on completing the next days workout and hoping to make it through the whole 8 weeks, determined to do it, so if I fall off, I'm going to try it again, i feel so much better just at week 2...

Best to you and as they say, don't quit :sunny:

09-11-2013, 07:10 AM
Welcome! I'm an all or nothing person, too. The thing that's hard is, as you have found, I can't maintain that momentum and commitment level indefinitely. I had to find a way to make peace with just accepting a new normal so it doesn't feel like a commitment, just a way of being.

Being overweight didn't take all my intensity every day. Losing weight and maintaining weightloss has to be the same way for me. It's just something I do, like brushing my teeth; my new normal.

Best of luck to you!

09-11-2013, 02:05 PM
Thanks very much for your replies. Really interested in your responses. Never thought of it like that before- I can't maintain that intensity for long and maybe I should take it gently- doing one thing at a time. I feel you've made me have an epiphany but then is it possible that 'not being obsessive' is my new obsession?

09-11-2013, 09:33 PM
lol, yes it's possible.

09-11-2013, 11:13 PM

Mrs Snark
09-12-2013, 09:30 AM
Too funny. It seems we can all relate to being obsessive, and I can definitely be obsessive about anything!

I will say I had to let go of the idea of "perfection" to be able to just get on with the process of getting healthy. It used to be when I messed up I would feel this overwhelming sense that it had just "ruined my weight loss attempt forever" it wasn't "perfect anymore" and then I'd get so angry at myself that I would then go waaaay off plan making everything extra UNPERFECT. Very self destructive.

Now I expect to mess up. I will make mistakes. I will occasionally make a cruddy choice. It isn't the end of the world, I was never perfect, I was never going to be perfect, and perfection is overrated any way. It doesn't mean I'm a stupid person, or weak, or fatally flawed. It just means I'm human. I can move on from that mistake and in the very next moment make a great decision. This was key in stopping my binge eating pattern.

09-12-2013, 02:04 PM
Thanks so much. You really are very wise people. Today I rerread Eating Less by Gillian Riley and am going to concentrate for a bit on just eating healthily and not over eating. I'm goi g to forget about calories and stepping on the scale. I want to think about FEELING better instead of just looking better.

09-12-2013, 07:46 PM
That's exactly it. You can't do it for the wrong reasons. You have to choose the right ones.
I have a doctor that I work with that came up with a pretty simple plan. If you do these three things you will lose weight. It is the 5-15-30 plan.
Eat 5 colors of fruits and vegetables daily. White/brown; Purple/black/blue; Red/pink; orange/yellow and green. When you get all 5 in daily you slowly start to not crave as much sugar and chips.
Meditate 15 minutes a day(I will admit this is the hardest for me.) this is supposed to help bring your inner calm in and lower your stress so you don't stress eat.
Finally Exercise 30 minutes a day for your heart. I like to tell him that I try to do one workout for my heart and a second one for my a*#! :D
Hope this helps with your focus on healthy.

09-13-2013, 04:55 AM
From replies to this and to another post i put up, I'm beginning to think that I need to get rid of my all or nothing mentality and start slowly. I haven't got too many bad habits and generally eat OK but obviously not good enough, or else i wouldnt be over weight. I'm thinking of bringing in one new target a week and rewarding myself with a coin if I meet it each day. I will then buy a new charm for my bracelet when I have enough money.

I think I will use Eating Less by Gillian Riley to help with my targets as well. This week will be think before I eat anything- do I want to eat because I'm hungry or for another reason. I rarely eat out, so when I do, I'm going to allow myself to ignore this.

09-14-2013, 12:35 PM
Sounds like a good plan. You got this.

10-02-2013, 06:42 PM
I'm 46, and I'm also new to weight loss, and I need to lose about 30 lbs. We'll get through this together.