Maintainers' Weekly Chat 2 September - 9 September
Good morning! A new week begins and for me, it's one of returning routine. School for the DB begins tomorrow and I plan to draw up a timetable for myself. I think this will help to ensure consistency which has been thrown to the four winds over the last eight weeks of spontaneity.
Silverbirch thank you for starting the weekly thread while Bill is off enjoying the trees.
I am going to have a completely unfamiliar week this week. I am taking the week off work (today is a holiday) to deal with the rest of the paperwork and appointments resulting from my father's death on Saturday. I hope to do this all this week and wrap it up on Friday with his interment. I think I have to go to a lawyer and to the bank and that's pretty much it for now. I am going to try to pick up his things from the palliative care unit today. One thing per day for him.
All of the immediate stuff resulting from his death wraps up on Sunday with the reception (?) at my cousin's house. I already have a little speech prepared. I didn't say anything at my dad's birthday for fear of starting a fight with him. But he's pretty quiet now . And I will "play nice" on Sunday and acknowledge the support he got and the support I got. I think I need to remind my cousin that, despite not having professional credentials and being blonde and a woman, I still do have a brain and am a force to be reckoned with.
I am also going to complete all of my projects for the new house. They involve shopping and will take 3 trips. I am going to take my paddleboard out a couple of times and just coast around on the flat water and enjoy being out there without a whole schedule to follow.
And I am going to cook real food for dinner most nights. I'm embarrassed to admit we had to resort to McDonald's last night - the 4th time I've ever had their food in my life. But you know what? DH suggested a menu choice for me and it was fine. And they make darn good fries!
I'm up early and enjoying my coffee on this holiday. DD has been home for the weekend and we've enjoyed each other's company.
DH and DS installed a new doggy door specifically for Misty and she's still confused! We put it in the sliding door she always goes in and out of but requires assistance when using the dog door. I sure hope she figures it out soon.
Dagmar....just a thought for your speech. I know some of your relatives helped with his care? Perhaps you can thank them for their help. That way you don't have to talk about your dad much and people always want to be recognized for their help.
Allison- has your dd set a wedding date yet?
I've got the day off and plan to spend it going to yoga, donating blood, reading, and whatever else I decide!
Not really. Sometime in the summer. I asked if they're planning on going to Seattle for Christmas again this year and they are (as long as her fiancé can get away--it depends on whether or not he gets a job). If they do go up there, they'll do more planning at that time.
Michele (or any other Californian)~do you have a Eureka! Burger near you? It's a small California chain of maybe 10 restaurants. While burgers aren't necessarily the best diet food, these have to be the BEST burgers I've ever eaten. We're going for lunch today (and had them for dinner on Friday).
Another Californian here, haven't heard of Eureka Burgers but will check them out.
Dagmar, I hate to brag but I think I can make a better burger than McDonalds.
dagmar, 4 trips to Mickey D's in your life puts you far ahead of the rest of the "civilized" world. I still have weak cravings for their fries occasionally. I don't think of it as evil stuff - it's just highly processed food and a rare necessity when caught between a rock and a hard place. Sounds like once you get past this week, the "must do's" will fall back a bit and give you some real breathing room!
DS starts high school tomorrow. Wow. Just ... wow. Color me boggled. I mean, I've killed every plant I've ever owned, y'know?
Becky, I too have managed to kill most every plant I've ever owned (and usually in less than 6 months). OTOH, I have a 10th grader as of tomorrow, as well as newly-minted 6th and 3rd graders. Hard to believe I haven't killed any of them yet, either by accident or on purpose :>) And, like Silverbirch, I am deeply relieved that the (way too) long summer break is over and we can resume a normal routine. This, even though I know how much harder it is on all of us when we have to supervise homework, enforce bedtimes and pack lunches every day.
Dagmar, I haven't written since you announced your father's death here. Knowing full well the nature of your relationship these last years, I will refrain from offering condolences but hope that you will be able to make peace with his legacy now. Certainly, saying a public goodbye is a good step in that direction.
As for me, we're back from a 4-day trip to Chicago (4 1/2 hours drive), which was slightly disappointing in that we didn't see and do as much as I would have liked, but was nonetheless a pleasant getaway. I will now be buckling down to a long Sept. and Oct. with many meetings, deadlines and oodles of patient care.
Thanks Andrea. I am going to take DH's advice and take the high road where my father is concerned.
I kinda previewed what I'll say to my cousin, whom I'll address on Sunday "in public" ie with the rest of whatever little family we have. He emailed me about funeral arrangements - I guess he's a little worried I won't even bother to get the old boy cremated - and I sent him a shorter version of the little speech I'll give. I imagine he's still seeing me as the crazy drunk who'll yell and scream about how badly my father treated me.
Dagmar (much like Fat Megan) still exists but she doesn't come out any more at all, or at least her brief appearances are limited to one evening alone @ home.
I am going to be calm and polite and say this, with people's names at the appropriate places:
"Family is a very important thing. It gives us comfort, support, understanding, love. Unfortunately my father and I were unable to give each other this during our adult years. I'm so glad, as I saw by your continuing support of my father this past difficult year and by your daughter's Fb tribute to him, that dad was able to find family with you and your wife and kids. Thank you for that and thank you for giving us this opportunity to remember him."
My other cousin's wife will have to get a preview and an explanation. She thinks we're going in there to eviscerate everyone with steak knives. There are, as with most families, long standing grudges between her and the older cousin's wife. if she decides to get out her knife I will try to stay neutral but, if pushed, will side with her. SIGH. My dad is dead but he's still going to provoke war it seems.
Dagmar, I agree with Silver - your plan is just right. Hopefully some of the longstanding grudges will fade away without your father around to poke the ashes, but some people just really get off on the negative energy.
andrea, good to see another plant-murderer! You have my utmost admiration in taking on the task of raising three small humans. As much as I am fascinated and entertained and hopelessly in love with DS, there is no force on earth or otherwise that would have enticed me to repeat the deed.
I too like the predictable groove of the school year. I have heard from friends that our school system is notoriously bad about communications and tends to give very late notifications of events; so far things seem to be okay. In my world, it's been pretty simple: give me at least a few days worth of notice, or you're not going to see me or my kid. This tactic has made DS quite good at paying attention to and relaying information to me about things he wants to do!
It feels like everyone around me at work is overperforming this morning, to make up for yesterday's holiday and any summer vacation days. I've been answering emails & on the phone in meetings for the past two hours straight through.
Microsoft in particular has been making my life difficult for two weeks now with its various important announcements that have to be analyzed and written about extensively.
Also late yesterday some black sludge oozed upward into my bathroom sink, when I hadn't used it for an hour or two. Since I'm on the ground floor, this could have occurred as a result of my upstairs neighbors' cumulative activities. I've put two calls into maintenance on this & am waiting for them to come by. I suspect they've got to do some snaking through the pipes or something.
It feels like one of those days where ending the day standing upright and financially solvent and sane is the most that I can manage.
I've been thinking a lot lately about chocolate....
I realized recently that for as long as I can remember, I've always had something chocolate every single day.
When I was losing weight, I still had chocolate-- a fiber bar, a fiber brownie, a low cal ice cream. Every day....
I realized that I have pretty much eliminated chocolate from my diet because I'm not eating dessert anymore. If I want something sweet at night, I'm having a piece of fruit. The only time I'm having desserts is once every few months when I'm out of town and I have a splurge.
This is weird territory for me. Has anyone else given up a food they thought they never would? I thought I wasn't missing chocolate but I keep thinking about it. Last night I had dreams that I was eating chocolate!!
Wondering if I should incorporate some chocolate into my diet or leave well enough along as I'm still working on getting 5 or so pounds back off....
Maintainers' Weekly Chat 2 September - 9 September
. And I will "play nice" on Sunday and acknowledge the support he got and the support I got. I think I need to remind my cousin that, despite not having professional credentials and being blonde and a woman, I still do have a brain and am a force to be reckoned with.
about how badly my father treated me. 
Dagmar (much like Fat Megan) still exists but she doesn't come out any more at all, or at least her brief appearances are limited to one evening alone @ home.
between her and the older cousin's wife. if she decides to get out her knife I will try to stay neutral but, if pushed, will side with her. SIGH. My dad is dead but he's still going to provoke war it seems.
You have my utmost admiration in taking on the task of raising three small humans. As much as I am fascinated and entertained and hopelessly in love with DS, there is no force on earth or otherwise that would have enticed me to repeat the deed.
