General chatter - Why Fat Shaming & Skinny Bashing Get Us Nowhere - Great Article

08-22-2013, 02:48 PM
The first paragraph of this article says it all for me:

Let's just get this out of the way right up front, everyone: Don't tell thin women to eat a cheeseburger. Don't tell fat women to put down the fork. Don't tell underweight men to bulk up. Don't tell women with facial hair to wax, don't tell uncircumcised men they're gross, don't tell muscular women to go easy on the dead-lift, don't tell dark-skinned women to bleach their vaginas, don't tell black women to relax their hair, don't tell flat-chested women to get breast implants, don't tell "apple-shaped" women what's "flattering," don't tell mothers to hide their stretch marks, and don't tell people whose toes you don't approve of not to wear flip-flops. And so on, etc, etc, in every iteration until the mountains crumble to the sea. Basically, just go ahead and CEASE telling other human beings what they "should" and "shouldn't" do with their bodies unless a) you are their doctor, or b) SOMEBODY ******* ASKED YOU.

While it gets a little *****y in the answer backs (both authors clearly have axes they wish to grind), The message I took away was one I've been spouting myself since I started this journey : Transferring the abuse we take and the self hatred we feel on to another body type doesn't lesson our own pain. We need to unite ourselves and drop our notions about others.

08-22-2013, 03:12 PM
People tell other people to bleach their vaginas?!?!? Holy crap

08-22-2013, 03:22 PM
HAHAHAAAAAAAA- I loved this! After all, some of my best friends are fat....

08-22-2013, 04:27 PM
I am totally against skinny bashing myself, if for the only reason that snarking on a skinny girl's body doesn't help me like my fat one any better. However, I must say that skinny bashing is not a moral judgement on a person as fat shaming can be. Fat bashing often implies that one's overweight status implies failure of conviction, discipline, education, intelligence and class. Skinny bashing implies...that a person eats too little and it's caused non conformance with a beauty standard. Both are wrong, but they are not exactly flip sides of the same coin.

08-22-2013, 05:06 PM
Good point.

My issue with both is it's such a blatant indicator of self loathing. You either are building yourself up by saying "at least I'm not fat like her" or building yourself up by saying "No man's going to want her she's just skin and bones" or something of the like. Either way, you're knocking someone else down because YOU'RE unhappy.

Personally, I think some of the stereotypes attached to the "skinny *****", things like "slutty", "vapid", "vain" "self absorbed" and "dumb", are even more dangerous than some of the invectives hurled at the overweight.

I personally don't like the idea of living in a culture where I'm a lazy, undisciplined slob at 400 pounds, and then be told I must be a ditzy flirt when I finally hit the "ideal".

08-22-2013, 05:48 PM
This was a GREAT share Radiojane! I was laughing like crazy! Loved her writing style. Perfectly explains how I feel about "Real women have curves" thinking as well as how it is a bit different (though not justifiably so) from thin shaming.

08-22-2013, 08:55 PM
It was all a great read! Thanks for sharing!

08-22-2013, 09:00 PM
Lindy West is a great writer and this was one of her better impassioned rants. She got caught in a huge misogynistic sh@tstorm a few months ago when she engaged in a high-profile debate over the place of rape jokes in comedy. What was a reasoned debate between two comedians got turned into a horrific Twitter mess of thousands of men tweeting really, really ugly stuff at her - threatening sexual violence but also, of course, almost always attacking how she looks. It was truly awful. And she was open about how awful it was, but it only fueled her continuing to write some incredibly powerful stuff on the subject.

I think she's hilarious at times (you should see her video series of 'Lindy eats horrible foodstuffs on camera' - like vile candy corn Oreos) but also incredibly powerful. /fangirling off

08-22-2013, 10:26 PM
I think the article is great.

As someone in maintenance, I understand the annoyances when people comment on how thin/skinny I am. So, I can sympathize.

But it bugs when people respond to the thin comments by saying things like "We would never criticize someone who's overweight!" or "They must be jealous!" or "The people who criticize how skinny I am are always FAT!"

08-23-2013, 12:14 AM
People tell other people to bleach their vaginas?!?!? Holy crap

:rofl: It seems like this one crosses a whole 'nother line, doesn't it?

08-23-2013, 05:09 PM
Hah! Imagine a world where everyone worried about his or her own body and no one else's.

08-23-2013, 07:50 PM
Very good article. The image of "perfection" is so deeply ingrained in our society, I wonder if we'll ever be able to move away from it?

08-23-2013, 08:19 PM
Interesting article. It really does make me sad to read this kind of stuff, and know it will never end, and heck to be honest. I have caught myself in a moment of rage after my buttons have been pushed by someone who has tried to make me feel worthless using certain shaming to get even. I then feel awful about that, on top of feeling awful about being 'me'.

No one is perfect, but I always hate it when people try to make me feel like I am some walking lump of mass that has no discipline, an idiot, and just plain lazy. I am none of those.

08-23-2013, 08:27 PM
I find both articles are hypocritical. Both of them say something to the effect "I don't believing that fat/thin shaming is right BUT."

The "but" just gives them a lack of credibility It like saying "I am not racist but..." and then saying whatever.

There is no "but" in bullying because it is not okay at any time.