Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - Visceral and subcutaneous belly fat bump




geoblewis
08-18-2013, 06:45 PM
Okay, I'm still over 300 lbs. But only just...I'm a big woman. I don't have a problem with that any more. (Yeah for me!) I've been working on it from a variety of directions and I'm so happy with myself.

When I put on my knit column dress with elbow-length sleeves, from straight in front, I look good. From straight in the back, I look pretty good. Large but very shapely. When I turn sideways, I can see my good posture and my dress hangs nicely over my perky backside (which used to be my largest feature).

It's the front profile that bothers me.

I have A LOT of belly overhang from my belly button down. And I think I'd even be okay with this, but I have this pad of fat that sits in my midsection, from half way between breasts to my belly button. It's like a hump of fat. When I tighten my abs, it loosens up that fat pad and I can really grab a handful of loose fat. I hate it! It totally messes with the smoothness of my silhouette. It's there even when I put on a Spanks or other similar garment. There seems to be nothing I can wear to hide it. If I put on a top that is knotted at the breast and flows over my belly, I look like I'm a middle-aged pregnant woman.

This feels like more than subcutaneous fat, though. It feels like there is a lot of visceral fat under my muscles that doesn't want to budge from in there. I've been following the general diet advice for getting rid of visceral fat, but I lose everywhere BUT that belly fat in front.

I did some reading about surgical ways to get rid of it. I can have lipo for the subcutaneous fat, but not the visceral fat. And fat lost from lipo seems to come back as visceral fat. Don't want that!

Dealing with this belly fat is holding me back, emotionally. I won't date until it's gone. I hold myself back from being myself fully. I can be having a perfectly wonderful day, feeling great and feeling pretty, but then catch a glimpse of the belly bump and lose all my self-confidence. Like I don't deserve it at all.

I hate the belly bump! HATE IT! I wish it was a tumor or a hernia so that I could have it surgically dealt with, but it's not. I already checked.

Hate it!


Lolo70
08-18-2013, 06:57 PM
When I started, I had the shape of a barrel and my front formed three rolls. I reduced the overall size of my midsection with exercise. The 30-day shred did some initial damage there. However, it took my a long time to make the rolls disappear. My belly fat is now forming one smallish circle surrounded on three sides by abs. It just depends where your body looses fat. In my case, weight loss jumps around without much logic. I still have that back roll that has so far refused to budge.

Kaitie9399
08-19-2013, 12:53 PM
Keep doing all the good things you're doing and that pesky belly bump will get smaller and eventually go away. I think belly fat is the last fat to leave us as we are losing weight.....stinks but just keep on working hard and it will shrink to nothing.

You can do it!


pnkrckpixikat
08-19-2013, 03:28 PM
Unfortunately the fat comes off where it wants to come off. I wish I could pick and choose where to lose! You are just going to have to keep doing what you are doing and it will eventually go away.

Good for you for finding things you like about yourself and just try to have patience :)

newleaf123
08-22-2013, 05:21 PM
Dealing with this belly fat is holding me back, emotionally. I won't date until it's gone. I hold myself back from being myself fully. I can be having a perfectly wonderful day, feeling great and feeling pretty, but then catch a glimpse of the belly bump and lose all my self-confidence. Like I don't deserve it at all.



I was on a walk today, musing about how I wish my hips were slimmer and I started wondering why. What actual difference will it make in my life if my hips are 2" smaller? Will I be worth more? (no) Will I have more friends? (no) Will my husband love me more? (no) Will I be healthier? (no) The only single actual difference it will make is that I will wear pants that are one size smaller. That's it. Nothing else changes.

Then I read your post. And while we are at very different places, the fact that this bump is holding you back emotionally, and doesn't allow you to fully be yourself, it really resonated as the same. Suppose the bump is gone. Yes, you will be healthier. But none of the answers to my other questions will change. You will not be worth more. You will not have more friends (reading your post, I'm betting you have a lot of friends already!). If you were married, your husband would not love you more.

Please -- you have done so much in the areas of self-acceptance (as per your first sentence in this post) -- find it in yourself to accept this part of you. Lose the bump because you will be healthier. But don't let the bump hold you back emotionally until then.

Mrs Snark
08-23-2013, 02:16 PM
Really nice post Heidi, really great! I reread it a couple times to have it truly sink in.

This is something I am working on with myself, Geoblewis, right down to it being the belly fat, which is turning out to be that LAST thing to go, that I loathe.

I am still trying to lose weight and improve my health, fitness, and appearance -- to be "the best I can be" -- but WITHOUT loathing those parts of me that I feel are too imperfect (belly, belly, belly!).

The truth is, ALL of me is imperfect, but I give most of me a pass and focus WAY too much negative emotional energy on this one part of my body. Silly.

My mother would say to me, "don't make a mountain out of a molehill." She's right!

happybug
09-16-2013, 01:33 AM
Belly fat is the last place I lose weight, belly weight runs in my family unfortunately, but I am lucky to rarely gain on my butt and thighs. I lament the look of my belly and it doesn't seem to have shrunk at all. I would love to have surgery to remove it, but I'll keep going with the weight loss first and see how I go, LOL. Keep up the good work!

geoblewis
09-17-2013, 10:55 PM
Oh ladies, thank you so much for your kind words and support. It's been a month since I first posted this. I came back today to post about an emotional breakthrough I had today and saw this again. I actually forgot I posted it.

So, I'll share what happened for me today, because it was an amazing thing for me. I participate in EBT (Emotional Brain Training) and I was working through an emotional cycle that was popping up because my X is coming to town on Friday. And every time I remember he's coming, I am filled with anger and shame and self-loathing. I don't deal with these emotions most of the day, but the moment I come home and get ready for bed, there it is. And the moment I get up and get ready for my day, there it is. And when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, or suddenly become conscious of my girth in comparison to others...self-loathing.

It seems I have been hanging on to self-loathing for quite some time. When I explored it more today, I realized I was doing that and how ridiculous it was to keep measuring myself against some REALLY INSANELY STUPID set of criteria that X evaluated me by. Back then, to him, I just didn't measure up as a woman in so many ways, which in his mind, gave him permission to be a liar and a cheater. And so much more. So I worked it all out, that I certainly WOULD NOT find security in self-loathing. I said it out loud, about 50 times, with increasing intensity, until I really believed it.

And then it happened. I felt it! A rush of warmth and tenderness for myself! I actually experienced loving myself for the first time! I felt self-compassion! And self-acceptance for who I am, through and through!

I continued to tell myself that I cannot find safety in self-loathing. I will continue to tell myself for several days, until my brain is completely wired to know it to be true. I can live with my belly bump. I don't hate it. I don't hate my flabby arms. I don't hate my graying hair. I don't hate my habitual tardiness. It's all part of who I am! And I really, truly love who I am!

:D

devadiva
09-17-2013, 11:36 PM
Oh ladies, thank you so much for your kind words and support. It's been a month since I first posted this. I came back today to post about an emotional breakthrough I had today and saw this again. I actually forgot I posted it.

So, I'll share what happened for me today, because it was an amazing thing for me. I participate in EBT (Emotional Brain Training) and I was working through an emotional cycle that was popping up because my X is coming to town on Friday. And every time I remember he's coming, I am filled with anger and shame and self-loathing. I don't deal with these emotions most of the day, but the moment I come home and get ready for bed, there it is. And the moment I get up and get ready for my day, there it is. And when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, or suddenly become conscious of my girth in comparison to
It seems I have been hanging on to self-loathing for quite some time. When I explored it more today, I realized I was doing that and how ridiculous it was to keep measuring myself against some REALLY INSANELY STUPID set of criteria that X evaluated me by. Back then, to him, I just didn't measure up as a woman in so many ways, which in his mind, gave him permission to be a liar and a cheater. And so much more. So I worked it all out, that I certainly WOULD NOT find security in self-loathing. I said it out loud, about 50 times, with increasing intensity, until I really believed it.

And then it happened. I felt it! A rush of warmth and tenderness for myself! I

actually experienced loving myself for the first time! I felt self-compassion! And self-acceptance for who I am, through and through!

I continued to tell myself that I cannot find safety in self-loathing. I will continue to tell myself for several days, until my brain is completely wired to know it to be true. I can live with my belly bump. I don't hate it. I don't hate my flabby arms. I don't hate my graying hair. I don't hate my habitual tardiness. It's all part of
who I am! And I really, truly love who I am!

:D

Congratulations on your breakthrough:carrot: Embrace yourself for who you are and how strong you have become.

As for the belly thing I use to have 3 rolls and the just a big bump...well at 61 and below my original goal....and lots of exercise I for once in my life have rock hard flat abs the ones I wanted at 16 and never had....YES it is the last to go!:dizzy:

Mrs Snark
09-18-2013, 06:41 AM
So, I'll share what happened for me today, because it was an amazing thing for me.


What a breakthrough! :hug: I'm so glad you shared that with us!

newleaf123
09-18-2013, 07:42 AM
Awesome!! I am truly happy for you!!

MauiKai
09-18-2013, 09:45 AM
I know the bump of which you speak ;) I call it the jelly bean. Haha!

geoblewis
09-18-2013, 03:31 PM
Congratulations on your breakthrough:carrot: Embrace yourself for who you are and how strong you have become.

As for the belly thing I use to have 3 rolls and the just a big bump...well at 61 and below my original goal....and lots of exercise I for once in my life have rock hard flat abs the ones I wanted at 16 and never had....YES it is the last to go!:dizzy:

This! Thank you, Devadiva. It's just what I needed today! It doesn't matter that I don't have those abs showing right now. I've been working on them for three years, and I know they're in there. And someday, they're going to be visible.