General chatter - Did other aspects of you change as you lost weight?
08-14-2013, 08:28 PM
Often it seems that weight loss, especially large amounts of weight loss, comes along with a slew of lessons and changes that we seem to ultimately undergo. What kinds of changes have you gone through? Are there any life lessons you've come across throughout these journeys that you'd like to share? I'm just curious and contemplating my own, so I thought it might be interesting to discuss and hear about the wisdom others have unearthed, but no pressure. :)
Looking back, I originally assumed I would just become a thinner version of me. But that has not happened. Me has changed as well, which may be a good or bad thing....we'll just have to see. There have been a lot of drivers but some of the main ones are: 1) exercise, and exercising more with other people (I used to be a bit of a loner and exclusively focused on my wife and family); 2) doing new stuff - there was a ton of stuff I just never did because I was obese, like ride a motorcycle; 3) appearance - when I was obese I just did not care how I looked, now I am buying nice clothes, looking after my hair etc.; 4) relationships with other people - old friends, new friends, family - there will be changes.
So, in a nutshell....it's been a headf@ck. I hope it will turn out all OK. I'm still trying to work out who "me" is now.
08-14-2013, 09:18 PM
I am still me.
BUT, I am more confident, more adventurous, and friendlier.
I am less self absorbed - I think just feeling better and having TONS more energy has allowed me to get out of my head.
This is but a tiny glimpse into how much my life has changed.
08-15-2013, 02:07 PM
I am much less self-absorbed even though I suppose I log more hours in the day doing things that affect my appearance. I am less judgmental of what other people put in their mouths or decide to do or not do with their bodies. I used to crave and enjoy attention from strange men but now I don't want it at all. It's hard to say what was determined by weight loss and what was determined by simple maturation, though!
My wallet is probably happy about this, but I dreamed of getting to "goal" and spending a HUGE amount of money on a BRAND NEW wardrobe. It just didn't pan out - now I'm basically here and I buy all my clothes at thrift stores or clearance racks. The whole TOTAL REINVENTION OF SELF thing was all a lie, if an excellent motivational tool at times.
08-15-2013, 02:09 PM
I've become much more patient. I think more in terms of investments and delayed gratification now. I look at my weaknesses w/o judgement but also w/o denial. Instead, I take an honest look at the facts of a problem and make a plan for solving it.
Basically, I feel more like a grown up. :D I'm, by nature, very idealistic and individualistic. This experience has taught me about structure and rules and how those things can work for me, not against me, as long as I come at it with the right mindset.
The main thing is I feel much more patient and realistic & that, in turn, has me feeling more empowered and peaceful.
08-15-2013, 02:30 PM
For me, overeating to the point of obesity was, and still is, all wrapped up in a bunch of junk in my attic. Food was a way to self-medicate and to not feel anxious or sad or depressed or stressed or, or, or... When I was gobbling down food, I wasn't happy but I was kind of numb. It took me a while to figure it out that I was basically committing suicide by food.
Losing weight and changing my eating habits has caused me to find different ways to deal with anxiety and other negative emotions. It has caused me to examine the junk in my attic, to discard quite a bit of it and to work on clearing out the rest.
To say that it has been challenging is an understatement.
08-15-2013, 02:41 PM
I'm a better friend, sister, daughter, housekeeper, pet owner, and employee. I take better care of my self, my money, my possessions and my home. I over react less and where I used to seek attention in outlandish ways, now I actually focus on blending in - I think, because that's an actual option now. When I was really heavy (I still am, but I mean ALWAYS the heaviest person in the room), I stood out no matter what, and I seemed to want to control HOW I stood out. Now, I'm happy to be "just another girl".
08-15-2013, 03:28 PM
I cant say it has changed me per se....I have over the last six years or so been somewhat of a loner and I still am, maybe moreso....I mean, I get up, go to the gym and work out every day, come home (I live in my mom's basement) and do things around here since I currently am unemployed. I tend to stay behind the computer and not accept invites to anywhere. I still hate how I look, HOWEVER, my neighbours from down the street saw me last week....the husband says to the wife - "who is that girl walking Missy (Missy is my border collie)?" - the wife says "I dont know, I know Ive seen her walking with the mom of the girl who owns Missy"....anyway, the wife comes running over to me and says "OMG!!!!!!! Its you!!!!!" And I was kind of taken aback - I didnt know what she was talking about. Then her husband comes over and says to me that he's in shock about how different I look because I have changed so much since the last time they saw me (a few months ago)....I didnt say much....he told me I should be happy cuz a guy noticed that I look pretty good, lol. I have been working out, doing Weight Watchers, however, I havent lost much weight according to my weigh ins but I have to be doing something right since people are noticing. Mom says its muscle Im building and Im getting more defined. I do notice a change in my clothes tho too and I notice that I have a bit more energy etc.
08-15-2013, 06:48 PM
The things that have changed, or that I've learned is an on going thing. I hope that I am always growing as a person but I've been taught this past year that my self-worth is not to be defined by others. I still find myself needing attention, and that's pretty shameful but I hope I grow out of it. I've learned that you can love and lose, and it really is better than to not have loved at all since I have a hard time opening up with men. I've learned that the outdoors excites me with all its natural beauty. I've learned to dive into situations I wouldn't have before. I've learned people see me differently than I see myself, and they think I'm amazing and beautiful. I've been called beautiful and gorgeous more times this year than I ever thought I was capable of. I finally feel like my outsides are starting to match my insides. I'm trying to grow as a person though and embrace all this because I have a hard time seeing it, but I am working on loving myself.