Living Maintenance - Maintainers Weekly Chat August 12 - August 18




BillBlueEyes
08-12-2013, 06:21 AM
It's just fun to have good weather and to be in summer.

We took a neat trip to Salem, Mass to see their great Peabody Essex Museum and street fair. One was healthy the other not, LOL, as DW and I both had an Italian sausage on a HUGE roll.


Mudpie
08-12-2013, 06:27 AM
Good Morning!

I am going to look at the calendar and count off the weeks until moving day every time I start panicking that the house reno isn't getting done quickly enough.

We move in October 29. We do still have a little time. :rofl:

Good week all!

Dagmar :cool:

alinnell
08-12-2013, 10:17 AM
I realized this morning that it is only a matter of weeks until DH and I are officially empty nesters. That's kind of depressing.

I've thrown out my invitation to my family (and friends) for Thanksgiving in hopes of at least one last big fling before DH and I decide to stay where we are or to look for a smaller place. I don't really want to move, and frankly there is no reason to at this point, but something inside me says we ought to.

I had to take Louie (cat) and Misty (dog) to the vet yesterday for annual checkups. Wow. Almost $800 when we were done! Louie has been losing weight for no reason, so a full blood panel to check for--among other things--hyperthyroidism. Misty had a lipoma checked to make sure it was only that (it was) as well as a full blood panel to check for--among other things--heartworm. They each had at least one vaccination. I must love my animals! Chico goes in on Thursday for his oncologist visit where I believe they'll do a chest xray to see if he has any mets.

When we came home from the vet, our other cat, Ringo, decided Louie was a stranger and intermittently attacked him for no reason other than he must have a new smell on him (that or blood because when they drew blood, he started bleeding and it took them a while to stop it). We had to put Ringo in the guest room for most of the evening but his wailing made it evident that we couldn't sleep with that, so we let him have the run of the house and put Louie in our bedroom with the dogs and us. That was fine until 1 am when Ringo tried to break down our door. I let him in and there was no fighting, but Louie was clearly uncomfortable with the situation. This morning Ringo attacked Louie at least once and he isn't eating, either. Darn cats.


paperclippy
08-12-2013, 10:27 AM
Good morning! First couple days back at work went well I think. I'm working from home this morning and off this afternoon to take the girls to the pediatrician. I'm wondering how much they're going to weigh, because they are getting really big!

Weighing in on last week's chat thread, I am also a fangirl. If any other fangirls want to connect on tumblr send me a pm.

traveling michele
08-12-2013, 11:07 AM
Glad things are going well Jessica!

Allison... My cats do that all the time. Charlotte does it to Wilbur for a week after they go to the vet. If he goes without her, I understand he might smell funny. But even if she goes with him, she still blames him!

Speaking of cats.... Only cat people will get this. My dd moved with her laid back kitty to Texas. He's never had an issue with anything before including flying and driving. Not this time. He was so traumatized he hid behind the toilet in her new apartment for almost a month! Last week he decided he would grace her with his presence and now is acting totally normal! His first night out of the bathroom he chewed through her Internet cords!

Dd and dh drive to Arizona tomorrow. I am flying later in the day and hopefully we will all arrive at roughly the same time. Cross your fingers that we can fit everything in my car including six chairs and tons of boxes!

saef
08-12-2013, 12:04 PM
What an array of life experiences are happening here: Allison is about to become an empty nester, Michele is feathering her offspring's nest, and Jessica has returned to work but has hatchlings to watch over.

As for me, on my first day back at work after that tiring trip, all I can say is: There was a really big cockroach in my kitchen at 4:30 AM this morning. Like, really big. Despite my "Oh no no no no!" and repeated, desperate blasts from a can of Raid, it sheltered underneath my refrigerator. Now THAT will be an appetite deterrent today. There will be no standing speculatively before the open door this afternoon. But there will be a call to building maintenance to set up an exterminator visit. I think it came inside where I rarely see them (at least, ones that big!) because its home under the electrical substations & etc. has been disrupted by the installation of individual meters ruined by the flood. At any rate, it is NOT welcome and I am squirming in my chair with disgust today. Maybe with the place empty so much lately for my vacation and business trip, the roaches think they can move in & settle down. They are WRONG.

CherryPie99
08-12-2013, 12:18 PM
Cats are CRAZY! I have found that having 10 of them actually cuts DOWN on the fighting. I compare them to growing up in a house of siblings - I grew up with just my brother and I and we fought CONSTANTLY. But my friends who came from large families with lots of kids - they almost never fought. I think that having so many around they can "hang out" with who they want LOL

The discussion from last week's chat about vigilance versus obsession has been on my mind a lot.

If we look at obesity as a disease - would we (or society) judge a brittle diabetic who checks everything for a sugar count? Or how about someone with Celiac Disease - would we think they were abnormal for "obsessively" looking for gluten free items?

Last year, shortly before I hit goal, DH and I were on vacation. We were in this resort type town and there were ice cream stands everywhere. I hadn't had any ice cream in like 2 years and I actually started CRYING, yes CRYING, because I wanted to have some ice cream SO BAD, but it was not "allowed". That, I think, is sick and obsessional.

But wanting to know where I'm going for dinner so I can get online and check the calorie counts beforehand? That's just vigilance?

Jen

Shannon in ATL
08-12-2013, 12:54 PM
I just got caught up on the obsession, vigilance and disorder discussion from over the weekend on last week's thread. I definitely am prone to compulsive exercising, as Saef described. I also am very quick to pound myself with an extra hour or exercise if I feel I've slipped somewhere. I believe that if I'm not careful I can let that easily slip into a disorder. It is pretty clear that I have some unofficially diagnosed OCD, and I have been told by therapists that I have an addictive personality that falls easily into routines that I can't get back out of, even if those routines are self destructive. I struggle not to let exercise and diet become those - sometimes I feel like my obsessive tracking down to the minute of exercise is setting me up to fall, sometimes it feels like control keeping me safe. Varies with mood, I guess. And other circumstances around me. I grip down harder when I'm out of control other places. Though that is also when I'm morel likely to step off path and fall harder. Saef, I'm going to save your posts and refer back to them when I can think about them more.

Jen - I watched some Warehouse 13 early on, would like to catch up.

Those fanfolk among you will appreciate my Saturday night - our local science museum did their annual "Night at the Museum" science and science fiction night. People wandered around in costume and character for the kids to talk to and ask questions. We had storm troopers, star trek, firefly crew, several dr. who characters, a full size lit up tardis, Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, the Wright brothers, Rosalind Franklin and many others. The museum is very hands on, so the scientists were set up at exhibits that applied to their work, many of the costumed volunteers are school teachers and scientists IRL. It was awesome. And CROWDED. I was pleased to see how many kids were there and having a great time.

alinnell
08-12-2013, 02:53 PM
Jen~that's a good point. On vacation I sat at lunch with a woman who had refused her lasagna and I asked why. She has celiac disease. We had a good conversation about it, mainly my asking if the new "fad" of people wanting gluten free food has helped her in shopping/dining. She did indicate that there seemed to be more choices readily available that weren't there a few years ago, but she said she pretty much sticks to the tried and true things to eat that she knows won't hurt her. I think if I had true celiac disease (rather than following a fad), I'd be awfully skeptical about the dishes put in front of me at a restaurant. After our tour guide contacted the kitchen, they brought her a plate of pasta with marinara sauce. They said the pasta was gluten free, but if I had celiac disease, I'd be wary to eat that.

While I was on vacation, I allowed myself ice cream. Granted it isn't good for me and I gained weight, but gosh darn it--I was on vacation! I'm paying for it now, of course! Nowhere would I have been able to find calorie counts for the stuff served onboard the ship (I assume--I didn't ask). I did make good choices most of the time and didn't eat myself into oblivion.

Oh, and the cats--remember my neighbor with 15 cats? You're right. They don't fight. There are some that hang out in the living room, some in the guest room, some in the back part of the house. They get along just fine.

traveling michele
08-12-2013, 03:49 PM
To add to the cat discussion, my cat Wilbur is the only one who will wear a collar. We put one on Charlotte once and she literally sat paralyzed for over a day until we took it off. Somehow Wilbur's collar must have fallen off last night and we haven't found it yet. He is acting so bizarre. Charlotte accidentally got locked in my office last night so she is acting strange too!

Mudpie
08-12-2013, 05:37 PM
AAARGH! My dad :devil: is trying to stir up trouble again. Either that or he's permanently now in la-la land. I wish the folks at the facility where he is being cared for would accept that he's delusional and quit bugging me to try to change his permanently fixed state of mind.

I am going to take 3 deep breaths instead of heading for the fridge.

Dagmar :yoga:

silverbirch
08-12-2013, 05:39 PM
:hug: Dagmar.

Mudpie
08-13-2013, 07:41 AM
I went over and whacked around in the back garden at the new house last night, instead of sulking and eating. Found two nice hostas and a hydrangea in all the mess and cut down two very badly diseased shrub/trees.

My gardening folks are nowhere to be found so I've decided I'm going to cut some stuff down and tear some up, to see what's really back there. I know enough about plants to pull up weeds and there are lots of things to practice my pruning on :lol:

Dagmar :cool:

neurodoc
08-13-2013, 08:11 AM
Warning, the folllowing may be TMI for some; just skip this paragraph if you prefer not to read about bodily fluids:
Jessica,
My first day back at work after maternity leave is still fresh in my mind even though the most recent occurrence of that was nearly 8 years ago. 6 weeks each time (3 DSs). A mixture of anxiety, relief and annoyance at having to use a breast pump (I never got over the feeling of being milked like a cow, even though I did it for 6 months with each DS). Are you able to work from home frequently? Does your DH take them completely out of earshot? I ask because I never had the option of working from home, but I did have a babysitter who came to our house, and I had her bring my DSs to me at work at lunchtime to nurse in person. That 30 min. during an 8-10 hour day was really helpful at allowing me to focus on non-baby issues the rest of the time. Minus, of course, the 2 milking sessions I also did each day. Note, with some practice, you can get pretty good at reading and answering email 1-handed with the infernal contraption attached to your boobs They sell a hands-free adaptor kit if you want.

Shannon,
totally jealous of your "Night at the Museum" event. We also have a local science museum. I wonder if I could loan them the idea? We're members; I might just try :>)

Michele,
hope you enjoy the trip to TX. Will your DD be back for winter holidays, or is she moving for a few years? Is she your only child?

I am once again slacking on measuring portions and counting calories, and it shows. Up 3 pounds from post-Greece weight, right back to the pre-Greece numbers. Saef, I feel exactly like you - I lose weight on business trips (and, apparently, vacation) because my home habits are obviously more lax than the vigilance I exercise when my guard is up. This has got to stop. It's one thing to gain weight because I refuse to live my life eating 1200 calories; it's quite another to gain weight because I'm sliding into 1800+ daily territory, even without any binging. Today, I vow to start recording my food -again-.

alinnell
08-13-2013, 09:28 AM
So far my little point system is working. I'm still not exercising like I ought to, but the weight is coming off. It'll be a long road, though.

Last night I fixed a "Greek" salad for dinner. It was nothing like the Greek salads we had in Greece, though. In Greece, we'd get a plate with tomatoes, cucumbers, feta and a meat or two on the side. Olive oil for drizzling and bread on the side. And a bowl of kalamata olives. My salad started with lettuce (Romaine and spinach), some shredded chicken for protein, red onions, kalamata olives, assorted peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes and feta. And instead of olive oil I used Greek dressing for more flavor. And pepperocinis on the side.

traveling michele
08-13-2013, 10:43 AM
Andrea.... I'm actually going to Arizona today to move younger dd back to college for her sophomore year. Dh and dd have already left with a very full car and I fly tonight.

We just finished moving older dd to Texas. She just finished her masters and got a job teaching special education. So we assume she is there for good.

I'll be very stressed today until dh and dd arrive safely. I'm an anxious driver which is only one of the reasons I'm flying instead of driving. I wouldn't have fit in the car with all of her stuff and this way I can take extra stuff in suitcases.

I hope I do well weight wise. I will try to be vigilant.

I'm going to bikram in a bit to decompress. I'm also going to target to get two things but I can't remember one of them. How frustrating! Guess I will wander around and hope I remember.

alinnell
08-13-2013, 11:08 AM
Dagmar~Mudpie has a thyroid problem, right? I just found out my cat Louie has hyperthyroidism. I have to call the vet for additional information as I missed her call last night. She doesn't think it is bad enough for medication (yet) but he has been losing weight. Any input?

krampus
08-13-2013, 11:31 AM
I am back from over a week's vacation. First was Chattanooga and Atlanta, then 4 nights tent camping in North Truro on Cape Cod. I didn't grossly overeat and this morning was at 120.6, a pound lighter than my last weigh-in which was August 2.

It was nice to sleep in a bed and take a shower that does not require quarters, but obviously I will miss spending my days reading Star Trek novels on the beach, eating deli meat sandwiches and watching seals, terns and sandpipers from beneath the comfort of a cheap beach umbrella. Real life pales in comparison to vacation! I have missed the weight room though, and look forward to getting back into exercise.

I have read everyone's updates, and am particularly glad to hear JayZeeJay's pup is doing better and to hear from bargoo.

Shannon in ATL
08-13-2013, 04:05 PM
Welcome back from vacation, Krampus!

I've ended up signed up for childcare during open house at DSS's school three nights this week. Last night, tonight and tomorrow. I got my exercise in on lunch yesterday, won't make it today. Might get it in the morning or on lunch tomorrow if I'm lucky. They desperately needed volunteers, so I signed up at the last minute. I have to tell you, I had to force myself to sign up knowing the risk to my exercise schedule. I can't let my patterns keep me from doing the things I need to do.

Mudpie
08-13-2013, 04:24 PM
Dagmar~Mudpie has a thyroid problem, right? I just found out my cat Louie has hyperthyroidism. I have to call the vet for additional information as I missed her call last night. She doesn't think it is bad enough for medication (yet) but he has been losing weight. Any input?

sent you a PM Allison

Dagmar

bargoo
08-13-2013, 07:43 PM
I did send an update on other thread so will add a little to the weekly chat.
Nothing much has changed, I will need to go wig shopping, not looking forward to that as I have no experience with wigs. Continue to be very fatigued, I spend a lot of time on my couch watching HSN and QVC , I have 'hidden my credit cards away so I won't buy something I don't want, can't use and won't like Food is a problem as side effects make food taste a lot like straw, getting in enough calories when food is so unpalatable is a problem and I have lost weight and don't want to.
I reached goal a few years ago and now find myself wanting to reach goal again although the situation is different.

saef
08-13-2013, 08:56 PM
Bargoo, it's good to hear from you.

Is there any local org to help women with selecting a wig, or maybe someone has set up an informational site online? Because a lot of people have to deal with that, who've had little or no experience with wigs.

(What you need is a drag queen friend, like RuPaul.)

If I were in your area, I'd go with you, --or at the least, hang out with you on your couch. We wouldn't talk, we'd just watch TV together. I'm not an HSN & QVC watcher but I am an eBay addict who always checks eBay before buying something elsewhere -- if eBay were a basic cable channel, I'd be in trouble.

On the food, maybe forget about taste and go for texture, like ice cream and milkshakes. The blender could come in handy.

I'm glad when you check in.

bargoo
08-13-2013, 10:05 PM
saef, I understand ACS will provide wigs free of charge for cancer patients I will check them out.
I'm not a fan of HSN or QVC either , only now with time on my hands.
I would enjoy your company on my couch.

dstalksalot
08-13-2013, 10:26 PM
Bargoo...what about Netflix or On Demand? You can stream a TV series or something. Gotta be something better than HSN. :-) take care!

Mudpie
08-14-2013, 05:30 AM
bargoo Glad to hear from you. If I'm not being too intrusive you might want to check this site out

http://www.wigsforcancerpatients.org/

I think jayell mentioned liquid nutritional supplements? Those would be very easy for you - no prep necessary - although I have no idea what they taste like.

I can only imagine how hard this is for you. But you are a very strong person. We are all thinking of you and sending a lot of these :goodvibes :hug:

Dagmar

bargoo
08-14-2013, 07:51 AM
bargoo Glad to hear from you. If I'm not being too intrusive you might want to check this site out

http://www.wigsforcancerpatients.org/

I think jayell mentioned liquid nutritional supplements? Those would be very easy for you - no prep necessary - although I have no idea what they taste like.

I can only imagine how hard this is for you. But you are a very strong person. We are all thinking of you and sending a lot of these :goodvibes :hug:

Dagmar

Dagmar, you are not being intrusive at ali, I appreciate all tips and check them out. Jayell did send me some good information and I am trying to follow her advice.

ICUwishing
08-14-2013, 08:03 AM
bargoo, thank you for taking the time to check in. You're in my thoughts every day. :hug: I hope the vision issues improved.

krampus, your vacation sounds divine! At least that gives you a great "happy place" to come back to when the real world gets oppressive. :)

shannon, volunteering seems like an acceptable reason to postpone your exercise. I always get more of a high off helping than I do off exercise, come to think of it. :chin:

michele, I hope that yoga clears your head. Worry sucks up a lot of potential happiness!

allison, bummer about Louie. What's up with all these furbabies having health issues? Seems like it's one after the other. How's Chico been doing?

I've been overwhelmed lately - haven't even been able to pull together enough time to figure out how to plan for getting unburied. The last three weeks, I've just been dealing with what's in front of me, and as the government has popularized, "kicking the can down the road" on dealing with everything else later. I HATE living in a reactive mode! I'm taking a day off work on Friday to try to siphon in a better opportunity to get my ducks in a row and prioritize.

On the lighter side, my mom is having a garage sale this weekend. I searched for several days to find things to add to the pile, and I think I can safely say that I really have stripped a lot of clutter out of my life. I truly cannot find anything left that is *mine* around the house that I do not "know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful". I have some books that I finished reading, and that's pretty much it. :dancer:

alinnell
08-14-2013, 09:39 AM
Becky~Chico is doing fine, but I'll know more tomorrow after I take him in for his oncology check-up. No more chemo (for now) but they will probably do a chest x-ray to check for mets. I might ask about a brain scan. He's been doing a couple things "differently" since his amputation and I don't know if it is a tumor in the brain or him just reacting to being a tripawd.

bargoo~my secretary wears wigs. She is of Swedish descent and claims her hair is so sparse she has to wear wigs. While I cannot fathom wearing a wig in 110+ temperatures, it doesn't seem to bother her. She used to go to a local wig maker but says they are rather expensive. She buys fairly inexpensive ones off the internet instead. If you buy one with longer hair, your hairdresser should be able to cut and style it to your liking.

Megan1982
08-14-2013, 12:05 PM
I've been overwhelmed lately - haven't even been able to pull together enough time to figure out how to plan for getting unburied. The last three weeks, I've just been dealing with what's in front of me, and as the government has popularized, "kicking the can down the road" on dealing with everything else later. I HATE living in a reactive mode! I'm taking a day off work on Friday to try to siphon in a better opportunity to get my ducks in a row and prioritize.

I can relate! At least with work, I am so busy I only have time to get ready for the next thing in front of me. I hate the feeling when I'm at an event and know I could have prepared better to contribute more, if only I'd had more time. It also continually frustrates me that I can't get any overtime/comp time. I've worked a lot of unpaid overtime this summer and I'm still behind. Is it fall yet? Can't wait.

I have noticed, finally, after almost 2 years of practicing yoga that the weeks I get to yoga I feel much better about how I'm dealing with my stress. The weeks I miss it, not so much. I do think it's making an impact. My teacher has left but another woman I like is taking over the class, so I'm hopeful I'll continue with her.

Jessica, I'm glad to hear the girls are getting so big and the transition back to work is going alright. They are such cuties! Love the pics you put on FB!

Bargoo, I'd join your couch party, too. I was home sick for 2 days a few weeks ago and had my TV almost permanently on HGTV. Apparently they play a lot of "Christian Mingle" commercials throughout the day because by the end of day 2 whenever the song came on ("I want to faaaaall in love with you") I would cringe. It drives me nuts when the same commercials are played over and over again. Maybe streaming a series would be more entertaining? Right now I'm catching up on Downton Abby, but also like Dexter and True Blood. I've heard Breaking Bad and Weeds are good too. Hang in there, I'm thinking of you. :hug:

Speaking of reactive, I've got to get back to work. I'm giving a presentation this afternoon and want to review it once more and set up. Hi to everyone I missed, and sorry I couldn't get more personals in. I miss chatting with you guys. ;)

Shannon in ATL
08-14-2013, 12:58 PM
Good to hear from you, bargoo. Most of the liquid nutritional supplements taste powdery to me, but they are easier than making smoothies sometimes. Now is the time to go for anything that tastes appealing - my uncle eats a lot of ice cream these days, says it is strange after depriving himself of it for so long to have however much he wants. I would also join your couch party, but I'm fighting a cold and that wouldn't be good for you right now. Thinking of you. :hug:

Megan - glad to see you! I am just getting back into my yoga and haven't been able to do any this week with my schedule and my cold, I miss it.

Allison - sorry about Louie. :(

Becky - I get the overwhelmed feeling. I feel like I've been just getting from one thing to another for months, just beginning to come back up from under water and now school starts so more things pile on.

I'm pretty sure I officially have a cold. I feel terrible. I have a meeting with our postage meter guy today and then school childcare again tonight or I would have stayed home.

:wave: to those I missed. :)

traveling michele
08-14-2013, 01:27 PM
Thinking of you Bargoo. I'm sure it's ironic to you to battle your weight for so long and now to have your weight be too low. My dad was very overweight my whole life until he declined late in life. When he was in the hospital, the nurse was talking to me about what a tiny man he was. She was shocked when I told her he had always been heavy.

TriciaV
08-14-2013, 01:36 PM
I went and caught up on last weeks thread. Lots of interesting thoughts. I had a bout of orthorexia during one of my pregnancies and I wonder if that child has more learning disorders due to that. So I was very anti-diet for about a decade until I stumbled into my weight (helping someone weigh their baby, you have to weigh yourself holding the baby and then subtract your weight.)

So with that in mind I've always considered food tracking to be process of nourishment more than control. There are numbers I want to limit, like calories and sodium, and numbers I want to boost like protein and fiber. While I was still nursing a baby, I actually kept an eye to make sure fat was about 30% of my calories because I didn't want it to go lower than that on a regular basis.

I did caloric cycling toward the end of my reaching goal and while it was very effective, I did feel like I was paying too much attention to the numbers, to an unhealthy degree. I would still recommend it for periods of time, but it got to be obsessive for me.

re: Dr. Who, I think Peter will be good as 13. He reminds me a bit of Tom Baker, just the look in his eye.

Mudpie
08-14-2013, 05:22 PM
Another "True Blood" fan here. We lost interest for awhile but are now most of the way through season 5. Our local DVD rental place (yes we still rent DVD's) will rent us 3 epis of any series for 2 nights for $4. Sure beats buyng the set for $60 and then having it sit around after you're done with it. I'm too tired to walk there tonite so will settle for anything that's on TV (and I'm talking anything) as I work my way through a mound of laundry.

Latest news at the new house? Both toilets are broken :eek: now. Apparently the one in the basement had a crack start in the tank. The house owner kept lowering the water level in the tank as the crack progressed. Now it's so far gone it leaked all over the floor. Good thing the basement is unfinished. DH will pick up a cheap new toilet at Home Depot on Friday and one of his "guys" will install on Sat.

Until then I suggested they all go and discreetly pee in the jungle at the back of the yard. No one will see them there and it might kill some of the weeds! :rofl:

Dagmar :tired: :cool:

ICUwishing
08-14-2013, 05:32 PM
Ah, toilets. There is no "small" way for a toilet to fail. My boss was just telling me about getting up from conducting her business, flushing, and the seal between the tank and the stool chose that moment to let loose - in a drenching, 180 degree horizontal spray! In the process of dropping to the floor to grab the shutoff, she was soaked head to toe. :lol:

We had one in our old house that had a very discreet little leak for a long time down at the wax ring. When we unbolted it and lifted it off to replace it with a more efficient one, the cast iron flange (almost rusted through), and rotted flooring came up with it!

Water always wins ...

Mudpie
08-14-2013, 07:41 PM
Yes it's about DH. :lol:

His boss is driving him crazy and he's coming home and passing along all his frustration and anger to me. I can see the anger and anxiety radiating off him when he walks in the door. His boss always needs a whipping boy/office b*tch and now it's DH's turn to fulfill that function. I understand why he's doing what he's doing but, when I explain it to him, he denies it and starts accusing me of picking on him. This is how I feel after any evening discussion with him.

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

He's one of those people who's in a coma in the morning so I can't talk to him then as he doesn't remember anything I say.

We have gone back and forth about the darn hardwood flooring now for 2 months. I found the place I want to buy it, went there and looked at samples, selected the stuff I want, and the installers came and measured and we have the # of sq. ft. we need.

So why can't DH order the flooring? $%&^* knows.

He keeps trying to talk me into cheaper stuff. This is going to be the MAJOR beautifying feature of the entire house. I am already getting the flooring at almost wholesale. So why the $%^&* is he stalling? :mad: :stress:

He keeps finally agreeing with me after we bicker for a month or so about all the items. I KNOW what I'm doing. But if I try to take a task back from him (I would have had the flooring bought and stored at the house a month ago) he accuses me of undermining him and wants to give up the whole supervision of the reno.

I suspect that's at the root of it. If he makes a mistake he thinks I will blame him for the rest of our time at the house. So he doesn't want to take responsibility but then gets all shirty and says he has no say in how the house will be. We will both be making mistakes with the house. Some of them will be expensive mistakes. Some of them we can correct, some not.

Oh for the love of MIKE! His dithering drives me nuts. I am good at making decisions and trust my judgement after sleeping on things. I put together an entire bathroom in 4 days. The tiles I wanted were discontinued so I redid the entire bathroom design in my head in 15 minutes and figured out and bought the tile while wandering the tile aisle at the store. My contractor LOVES :love: me. Give me the info I need to get stuff done and I'll DO it.

DH has major problems making any decision. He lays out 15 plans of action and then does nothing and is paralyzed by all of his choices.

I am trying to let him do a lot of stuff on his own. He keeps saying he has to concentrate on getting the stuff done but then gets distracted. Then he asks for help/hand holding but get mad when I do just that.

Whew! :rollpin: I needed that.

Dagmar :tired:

bargoo
08-14-2013, 08:39 PM
Dagmar, just go ahead and order the flooring.

JayEll
08-14-2013, 09:36 PM
Dagmar, just go ahead and order the flooring.

This. ^^

Jay

ICUwishing
08-14-2013, 09:40 PM
Ditto Jay and Bargoo. :). You can couch it sweetly as feeling a need to help with the ordering, leaving him freed up to deal with the contractors.

silverbirch
08-15-2013, 02:04 AM
Just get it done, Dagmar.

paperclippy
08-15-2013, 08:51 AM
Dagmar, sorry DH is being a pain about the reno. I can relate a little, my DH also gets "analysis paralysis." This is why we only managed to replace our 9-year-old TV (which my dad bought for us) with an actual HDTV because I had enough credit card points to get one for free and there were only like 2 choices. We've been talking about replacing it for YEARS. Occasionally when an issue comes up like this we'll have a discussion and agree that if he gets analysis paralysis he'll allow me to make a decision and accept whatever I decide.

Andrea, I do feel a little bit like a dairy cow. :lol: I'm used to the pump though since when the girls were in the NICU and had tube feedings I pumped every 3 hours for weeks. I could not live without my hands-free pumping bustier! I can work from home but there's no way to have the babies out of earshot in the house. Honestly what makes working from home difficult is that DH talks to me all the time if I'm there. ;) We live about 20-25 mins drive from my office so with two babies it's not really worth the effort to drive for me to BF at lunchtime. I BF in the morning, pump 3x at work, and BF when I get home. Then I pump in the middle of the night too and DH does one night feeding.

The girls are getting big! 9lb 1oz and 9lb 7oz at the pediatrician Monday. They got their Zantac dosage doubled too, and are sleeping much better now.

alinnell
08-15-2013, 10:50 AM
Neither DH nor I get analysis paralysis with purchases, however, I do when it comes to planning a vacation. DH and I decided a few weeks back that we need to replace our family room loveseat and chairs. The loveseat is losing it's cushion on DH's side and the seams in the leather are starting to come apart. We really like the set and regardless of the price we wanted the same brand. We found a local store that carries it, went in, looked, and placed the order. Of course no one in the USA had the exact specifications that we wanted so it's on order from Norway. Yeah, pricey. And I fear it will become fodder for Ringo's claws as soon as we get it home.

When planning a vacation there are so many variables that it drives me nuts so that's why we usually opt for a cruise! With that we don't have to make any decisions (no hotels, no transportation) and we get the benefit of seeing many different places without having to lug our luggage all over. Unpack once! Such a benefit!

I agree with everyone, Dagmar, just order the flooring yourself. If he gets upset, just explain that not ordering it will only delay the renovation.

alinnell
08-15-2013, 02:58 PM
Oh, man. Just got back from the vet oncologist. Chico has major lung metastasis. He's back on chemo and we're looking at 6-12 months for him. Cancer sucks.

Shannon in ATL
08-15-2013, 03:03 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that, Allison. :(

silverbirch
08-15-2013, 03:12 PM
Yes, me too.

CherryPie99
08-15-2013, 03:38 PM
Allison :hug: my heart hurts for you!

saef
08-15-2013, 03:53 PM
I'm sorry, Allison. Yeah, cancer sucks. Across all the species.

ICUwishing
08-15-2013, 03:57 PM
Sorry to hear the news, Allison. :(

bargoo
08-15-2013, 04:40 PM
Oh, man. Just got back from the vet oncologist. Chico has major lung metastasis. He's back on chemo and we're looking at 6-12 months for him. Cancer sucks.

I agree cancer sucks .

BillBlueEyes
08-15-2013, 04:59 PM
Sending supportive thoughts for all facing cancer. My family knows its share.

Megan1982
08-15-2013, 06:29 PM
I agree with everyone, Dagmar, just order the flooring yourself. If he gets upset, just explain that not ordering it will only delay the renovation.

Oh, this is much nicer than I would be. I was going to recommend you order it, then if DH complains, tell him that next time he should get off his rear and order it to avoid the situation again.

Allison, I'm so, so sorry. Give Chico a belly rub for me. :hug:

traveling michele
08-16-2013, 12:48 AM
So sorry Allison. Chico has already lived much longer than my Annie did after her amputation.

My Great Dane, Jozi, is aging rapidly and I don't know what I'm going to do when she declines. I am so not ready to lose her.

My food/exercise today was a train wreck. I feel irrationally like I've gained ten pounds. Breakfast was ok though a little more than usual. I was going to go for a run with dh but it got too late and we had to go help dd with her move. We worked at her apartment and by the time we went to lunch I was starving and made bad choices! Dinner wasn't bad as no one was very hungry so we just got groceries and everyone did their own thing. I just had oatmeal. Tomorrow is our last day in Arizona and we are planning a run again. Lunch will be our planned splurge so I'm sure I will gain even more! Dh leaves for China on Sunday and I will be alone in the house and back to work so I can focus on losing again.

Mudpie
08-16-2013, 05:42 AM
Allison :hug: re Chico.

bargoo :hug: to you

Michele I think you are very hard on yourself. None of us can be perfect every day, day after day. :hug:

I'm letting DH order the flooring. Otherwise it will be a "revenge" item he takes to the grave with him. His work situation is directly overlapping onto our reno situation. I told him that last night as he raged about my ordering furniture for mid-October delivery totally throwing the reno off. :faint:

He is :crazy: right now from working with a :crazy: boss and waiting for news about the company being sold. I will cut him some slack now that I know all of this. The reno plan changes daily and, when I ask, he blows up. so I will leave it alone until the end of August.

He's a funny guy. He talks non-stop :blah: :blah: about a lot of nothing but the major stuff I have to dig out of him with a shovel.

Dagmar :rollpin:

ICUwishing
08-16-2013, 07:37 AM
He's a funny guy. He talks non-stop :blah: :blah: about a lot of nothing but the major stuff I have to dig out of him with a shovel.

Dagmar :rollpin:

Dagmar, I've been with one of those types for 28 years. I give you props for still having the energy to dig.

Mudpie
08-16-2013, 10:03 AM
Becky DH and I have been together for almost 17 years - you've got 11 on me.

And now for the happy news. The gardening people came to the new house yesterday and, after some pruning and weeding and removing of dead things, today the back yard looks like a new place. Beautiful!

Dagmar :dance:

Megan1982
08-16-2013, 11:14 AM
My food/exercise today was a train wreck. I feel irrationally like I've gained ten pounds. Breakfast was ok though a little more than usual. I was going to go for a run with dh but it got too late and we had to go help dd with her move. We worked at her apartment and by the time we went to lunch I was starving and made bad choices! Dinner wasn't bad as no one was very hungry so we just got groceries and everyone did their own thing. I just had oatmeal. Tomorrow is our last day in Arizona and we are planning a run again. Lunch will be our planned splurge so I'm sure I will gain even more! Dh leaves for China on Sunday and I will be alone in the house and back to work so I can focus on losing again.

Michele, remember it's about balance. An unhealthy meal or two will not cause you to gain back the weight. Longer term, if the healthy and well-portioned meals and good exercise habits outweigh the bad meals and exercise sessions, you'll be ok. I picture a scale, and each time I have a good meal or workout it gets deposited on one side, and bad meal or skipped workout goes on the other side. Oatmeal for dinner after an indulgent breakfast & lunch sounds like some balance to me. Take a deep breath. You know this stuff. ;)

For the past month or so I've been going to bed too late and my lack of sleep is getting to me. I was doing much better getting to bed on time in June and into July. What I'm struggling for balance with is the sleep right now. :tired::dizzy:

traveling michele
08-16-2013, 12:35 PM
Thanks Megan. I like your scale balancing analogy.
So far today I've had a planned good breakfast and a run. So far, so good.

krampus
08-16-2013, 02:16 PM
Allison, I'm so sorry to hear about Chico. :( May he enjoy his remaining time with people who love him.

PET TALK ALERT: my roommate and I are getting two cats for (A) companionship and enjoyment and (B) because we have a F*#KING MOUSE in our kitchen. Tonight we make the journey to Walmart to get supplies for them, and Sunday we go to the Humane Society.

paperclippy
08-16-2013, 04:01 PM
Allison, so sorry about Chico. :hug:

Megan, I hear you on the no sleep. :lol:

I am starving this afternoon. Not sure if it's just that I didn't bring enough food to work or because I didn't have time to make a big breakfast this morning.

Mudpie
08-16-2013, 04:13 PM
Allison, I'm so sorry to hear about Chico. :( May he enjoy his remaining time with people who love him.

PET TALK ALERT: my roommate and I are getting two cats for (A) companionship and enjoyment and (B) because we have a F*#KING MOUSE in our kitchen. Tonight we make the journey to Walmart to get supplies for them, and Sunday we go to the Humane Society.

I don't know that you'll have any success with the cats taking care of the mouse. My 2 (street cats both) used to love to play with mice and bring them inside but they wouldn't kill them. DH was home with the 2 cats one day long ago and watched them playing with a mouse all day. They carried it daintily in their mouths like it was a Faberge egg, taking it up and down the stairs, to various different rooms, etc. DH lost sight of it in the afternoon. After our dinner the cats and I sat down on the couch to relax. DH went downstairs to continue studying. Suddenly I heard a noise in the kitchen. There was Mr. Mouse, eating some of the cats' kibble and then taking some sips from their water bowl. Both cats watched with a bit of interest from the couch but did nothing to interfere.

Dagmar :lol:

BillBlueEyes
08-16-2013, 04:40 PM
hmmmmm . . .
Victor Mouse Traps (http://www.amazon.com/Victor-Easy-Mouse-Trap-M038/dp/B000HJ79Y4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1376685436&sr=8-2&keywords=mouse+traps) cost less than a buck, don't shed hair, aren't picky, and don't make noises.




[Hope this helps.]

alinnell
08-16-2013, 04:52 PM
All my cats can catch birds and lizards. The feral one can kill both. I've never seen them with a mouse or rat (rats are more prevalent here). I'd feel better about setting a trap for the mouse (peanut butter as bait works good).

But it's cool that you're adopting cats!!!!!!

Mudpie
08-16-2013, 06:32 PM
hmmmmm . . .
Victor Mouse Traps (http://www.amazon.com/Victor-Easy-Mouse-Trap-M038/dp/B000HJ79Y4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1376685436&sr=8-2&keywords=mouse+traps) cost less than a buck, don't shed hair, aren't picky, and don't make noises.



They don't poop in a litterbox either :lol:

Dagmar :dizzy:

ChrisMohr
08-17-2013, 09:42 AM
Michelle I know how it feels to be hard on myself when I eat too much. I also know it has helped me to just say it out loud, along with your intentions, right here. Wishing you well as you get back on track!

I've managed to keep losing a pound a week these last three weeks. Not nearly as dramatic a weight loss as last year, when I lost 30 pounds and then jumped onto maintenance right away with help from my friends on this site. Over the late winter/spring, I gained back 11 pounds. Now I'm only 8 pounds above my ideal weight (and still nowhere near overweight), so I can say I'm doing pretty well.

Still rather low emotionally, not liking the uncertainty of losing my business one bit, but taking charge of a few things I can contarol (like my weight) helps. Plus, overeating as self-medication is worse than useless... I get more depressed, both physiologically and psychologically.

Mudpie
08-17-2013, 02:30 PM
Michelle I know how it feels to be hard on myself when I eat too much. I also know it has helped me to just say it out loud, along with your intentions, right here. Wishing you well as you get back on track!

I've managed to keep losing a pound a week these last three weeks. Not nearly as dramatic a weight loss as last year, when I lost 30 pounds and then jumped onto maintenance right away with help from my friends on this site. Over the late winter/spring, I gained back 11 pounds. Now I'm only 8 pounds above my ideal weight (and still nowhere near overweight), so I can say I'm doing pretty well.

Still rather low emotionally, not liking the uncertainty of losing my business one bit, but taking charge of a few things I can contarol (like my weight) helps. Plus, overeating as self-medication is worse than useless... I get more depressed, both physiologically and psychologically.

Good to hear from you Chris - I've been wondering how you were doing. Losing a lb. a week is good! Knowing that overeating as self-medication is counter productive - even better! :cheer2:

Dagmar :cool:

traveling michele
08-17-2013, 04:02 PM
Hilarious cat story Dagmar!!

Home from my trip and feeling just huge. Will definitely be going to bikram this afternoon to hopefully sweat out some of the indulgences.

I managed to burn myself pretty badly with a hot glue gun yesterday (hot glue dripped on my leg and I grabbed it off-- burning both my leg and two fingers) Not sure how my blistered fingers will do in Hot Yoga-- we'll see!

CherryPie99
08-17-2013, 09:24 PM
I have come to the conclusion that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to use a hot glue gun without burning myself badly. It happens every. Single. Time.

My body has not been cooperating with me. I couldn't run on Friday due to pain from my Achilles tendinitis. And I have been RAVENOUS for no reason at all. Increased hunger + decreased exercise = guilt/anxiety....

Going to try my long run tomorrow - wish me luck! 1/2 marathon is 2 weeks away!

Jen

TriciaV
08-18-2013, 08:07 AM
(((Allison))) We haven't had a good summer with our pets. And we only have chickens and fish. I think dealing with departure is a big reason we don't have the more endearing animals (though one of our chickens has a sweet, almost puppy like personality.)

I did a 10 mile ride for cancer, which was the longest I've ridden a bike in the actual outdoors. It was fun, I got to talk to family members I was riding with. I probably should have had more water or maybe a sports drink after because I wound up with a migraine. Hitting the bake sale for lunch was also a mistake. I need to remember good recovery food next time.

bargoo
08-18-2013, 10:31 AM
(((Allison))) We haven't had a good summer with our pets. And we only have chickens and fish. I think dealing with departure is a big reason we don't have the more endearing animals (though one of our chickens has a sweet, almost puppy like personality.)

I did a 10 mile ride for cancer, which was the longest I've ridden a bike in the actual outdoors. It was fun, I got to talk to family members I was riding with. I probably should have had more water or maybe a sports drink after because I wound up with a migraine. Hitting the bake sale for lunch was also a mistake. I need to remember good recovery food next time.

Congratulations on the cancer bike ride.

alinnell
08-18-2013, 11:20 PM
Tricia~I have an online friend with chickens, turkeys, goats and dogs. The tales she tells! She has a knack for writing and makes everything funny regardless of the outcome. Pets are pets regardless of their covering.

DH and I went to DS's Student Parent Orientation Program at UC Irvine today. While I could have read it all on line (but really couldn't as it was "required" at a cost of $75) I was glad to have seen the campus. DS had a two-day orientation and slept over in the dorms which he'll inhabit in a month. He loved it. He registered for classes and is taking 3 classes (12 units) and will evaluate how his classes are scheduled for the next quarter (5 at 8 AM, 2 at 11 AM, 2 at 3 PM and two at 6 PM). He's thinking he'd rather have them all in a block, but that is not always feasible.

After orientation we drove to Upland to see DD's new apartment. It won't be easy to visit her as she has to apply for a visitor's parking permit or park on the street--possible blocks away, but it is a nice place. She's met several neighbors who all seem nice (she says others seem sketchy). But I'm glad she has a garage for her car, bike and other stuff--all locked up. Her one-bedroom apartment is spacious, on the 2nd floor with cathedral ceilings. She's met the handy man who has been helpful in installing a couple things for her. She's really happy.