Weight Loss Support - Eating like a thin person...




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thewalrus0
08-10-2013, 10:05 PM
is really hard.

Why am I so compelled to eat the entire bag of gummy worms and not a couple, even when after a serving of them I'm not really enjoying them that much anymore, I'm just eating to eat?

/sigh


kaplods
08-10-2013, 10:26 PM
The book, The End of Overeating, by David Kessler really helped me understand the physiology behind what we call food addiction and compulsive eating (which is almost always carb addiction, especially carbs when combined with fat and/or salt).


I spent years thinking I was fat because I had emotional problems, then thinking I had emotional problems because I was fat, and then finally learned that neither was true. What I was eating was making me fat and unstable.

On reduced carb eating, my mood stabilizes, I have fewer health issues, AND the weight comes off.

There's an old saying (and title of a book,) "It's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you."

Turns out, that may not be true as often as we think. Sometimes it IS what you're eating that is eating you.

angelarm
08-10-2013, 11:14 PM
I second everything kaplods said. For years I wondered the same thing, "What's wrong with me?" I finally learned it was what I was eating. The truth is, I can't eat like a thin person because my body behaves very differently. My insulin levels spike and leave me binging on carbs even if I don't really want them, just like you said. I'm not someone who can stop at one serving of potato chips or candy. I probably never will be, and that's okay. It's not about willpower, it's about my biology.

I'm having success by eating low-ish carb. (50 to 70 grams a day, which isn't so tough.) It's AMAZING how full I stay, and how I never ever binge. To be successful, I had to get ALL carby things out of my house. (With the exception of one bag of whole wheat flour and sometimes lower carb fruits like berries.) If I want an occasional dessert, I buy a single serving so there's no chance of binging.

I promise you this...it's very unlikely you'll binge on steaks or broccoli or straight butter. Fats and proteins just behave very differently in our systems.


gardenerjoy
08-10-2013, 11:25 PM
I discovered there are foods that, for me, are simply about abundance. One potato chip is just a salt bomb. But, even now, if I could have a magical day where there would be no ill effects afterwards, I would eat a big bag. Since there aren't any magic days, I gradually came to the conclusion that I don't want those abundance foods in my life. I prefer to eat things that I can have in more controlled way. And, I look for abundance in other things -- exercise DVDs are fun to collect, and Twitter followers, and library books, and bath salts, and photographs .....

CanadianMomma
08-11-2013, 07:07 AM
Adding another voice to Kaplods recommendation. That book explains how the reward loop in our brains is activated by those exact types of food. There's a reason Lays can confidentially say 'bet you can't eat just one'. It helped me to figure out psychological tricks to combat it; like putting how much I actually want to eat of a treat in a small bowl and putting the bag away before I start eating.

MAK247
08-11-2013, 09:12 PM
I agree, measure out a serving and put the rest away. If that doesn't work, don't buy gummy worms or anything else you can't limit to one serving size. I am very much an 'out of sight, out of mind' type of person...There are a lot of foods I HAD to have before, but since I stopped buying them, I rarely miss or crave them. When I do get cravings I am learning to wait them out. :)

Slush
08-12-2013, 12:06 AM
To be completely honest with you, I have never seen a "thin" person eat less than a "fat" person. All of my relatives and friends in the normal BMI range eat much more than I do. My cousin is probably 140 pounds and when she spends the night, she eats more than my mother, my brother and I combined. It's nuts.

I think this is why we think it is ok to eat a whole bag of chips, or 3 slices of pizza, because thin people can do it and not gain a pound. Now, "fit" people are in a completely different category. The people I know that are "fit" workout regularly and eat healthy. I don't mean that they are bulky, I mean that they are conscious about their bodies.

I think fat, thin and fit are three completely different things. Once people realize that, it'll be easier to lose weight and keep it off forever. Don't think like a thin person, because most "thin" people were born that way and will stay that way and it doesn't matter if they eat a salad or a cheeseburger. We are trying to become fit people. Fit people are health conscious, are mindful of their meals and exercising and listen to their bodies. Thin people don't have to, because it doesn't matter to them, they don't have to worry about getting fat.

freelancemomma
08-12-2013, 12:15 AM
To be completely honest with you, I have never seen a "thin" person eat less than a "fat" person.

My experience is very different. I have never seen a thin adult woman eat like a fat adult woman. Never. They may order the cheeseburger and fries, but leave half of it because they're "too full" or eat "light" the next day because their bodies dictate it. They often skip meals. They say they "eat what they want," but they don't want what we do.

Many people on this board (including me) have admitted to eating 5,000 or more calories per day on a semi-regular basis. I don't know a single thin person who does that. Until research proves me wrong once and for all, I'll continue to believe that people vary far more in their appetites and eating capacities than in their metabolisms.

F.

Slush
08-12-2013, 01:49 AM
My experience is very different. I have never seen a thin adult woman eat like a fat adult woman. Never. They may order the cheeseburger and fries, but leave half of it because they're "too full" or eat "light" the next day because their bodies dictate it. They often skip meals. They say they "eat what they want," but they don't want what we do.

Many people on this board (including me) have admitted to eating 5,000 or more calories per day on a semi-regular basis. I don't know a single thin person who does that. Until research proves me wrong once and for all, I'll continue to believe that people vary far more in their appetites and eating capacities than in their metabolisms.

F.

Oh my gosh, I could name off 15 people right now that I have known for years that do this without any consequences to their health or weight. My mother's friend struggles with putting weight on, she's usually always under 100 pounds and eats 4-5 plates at buffets, whole pizzas by herself, etc, and she does this daily. My best friend from college eats fast food every single day and she's 5'10 and 130 pounds. It's insane. And my cousin that I mentioned, if you saw her eat you would really wonder why she isn't 300 pounds. And neither of those 3 workout, ever.

I don't believe in statistics, I don't believe in studies and doctor's theroies and assumptions. I don't believe any two people in this entire world of 7 billion are alike. I believe that God makes us who we are and no science experiments will ever allow a person to understand why God does the things he does. Some people are born to be thin and never fight to stay that way, others are born to struggle with their weight and must exercise every single day just to maintain.

I've stopped questioning God. We will never understand why a non-smoker develops lung cancer or a healthy person drops dead of a heart attack. It just is and we are just people, fighting our own battles, dealing with our own issues. Some people can eat what they want, others can't. Check out some of those competitive eaters that train to eat 5,000+ calories in one sitting and some don't even exercise. They're out there and the majority of them are thin/fit. Life is definitely one strange miracle. :)

Candeka
08-12-2013, 01:54 AM
4My experience is very different. I have never seen a thin adult woman eat like a fat adult woman. Never. They may order the cheeseburger and fries, but leave half of it because they're "too full" or eat "light" the next day because their bodies dictate it. They often skip meals. They say they "eat what they want," but they don't want what we do.

Many people on this board (including me) have admitted to eating 5,000 or more calories per day on a semi-regular basis. I don't know a single thin person who does that. Until research proves me wrong once and for all, I'll continue to believe that people vary far more in their appetites and eating capacities than in their metabolisms.

F.

I have to agree with this. My best friend says she is "always eating" and "always eating junk"... so I thought she just magically stayed thin while I ate the same and gained weight.... I then stayed with her for a week as she lives in another province and found out this is not true at all! Her eating "a lot" is no where close to mine. She would eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and maybe one snack during the day.

I however naturally eat way more through out the day. I would eat meals with her and still want to hit the fridge several more times throughout the day. It made me realize that no, she did not eat the same as me and magically stayed thin - it was our different opinions on what "a lot" of food was.

I have learned that I will never be able to just "eat what I want" or do that intuitive eating thing where you eat when you're hungry. I will eat and eat and eat. I need to really focus in and pay attention or I will easily consume 5000 calories.

Mori M
08-12-2013, 02:12 AM
I hear so much about metabolism and how it really doesn't differ from person to person. My sister eats mostly junk food, but she doesn't eat a lot in a day. She's able to eat one helping, or even a half helping and be fine. I swear, if we compare what we eat, I'd definitely have more than her. She's also always been on the thin side and maybe her body type is that in a way that she'd never get fat, no matter how much she eats.

kaplods
08-12-2013, 02:49 AM
I've seen a lot of variation in appetite, metabolism and weight in my four plus decades of dieting. Just in my immediate family alone, there's a pretty huge spread. My brother and I were adopted (not bio-related).

In my family, the difference do seem to fall along genetic lines. One sister takes after Dad's slim, Italian/German side of the family (thin except for a tendency towards post-retirement lovehandles) and one takes after Mom's stocky, mostly Polish family (thin until around 30).

My younger brother and I have entirely different patterns. He had trouble gaining weight as a child though he ate as much or more than I did, even though I was two years older, and I was the only family member (and still am, even in my extended family) to have been overweight as a child (and I was obese by 5 and morbidly obese by 8 if not before.

Although I've met a lot of overweight folks with small appetites, I was never one of them.

By the time I was six or seven, I knew I was different from everyone else I knew. I was hungry ALL of the time, and not just a little hungry. Even when I was full, I still felt hungry for more.

I have found ways to drastically reduce my hunger, but my metabolism has slowed more than enough to make up the difference. What I now eat to maintain my weight, in my 20's resulted in rapid losses.

But whatever, it is what it is. Comparing my hunger, appetite, calorie intake, and metabolism to anyone else's (even my own past self) gets me nowhere. It just doesn't matter, because I have to work with what I've got right now. Dwelling on how things used to be, or how I compare to others is just potential distraction. Not that I can't be interested, I just can't let it affect the work I'm trying to accomplish.

Slush
08-12-2013, 03:10 AM
But whatever, it is what it is. Comparing my hunger, appetite, calorie intake, and metabolism to anyone else's (even my own past self) gets me nowhere. It just doesn't matter, because I have to work with what I've got right now. Dwelling on how things used to be, or how I compare to others is just potential distraction. Not that I can't be interested, I just can't let it affect the work I'm trying to accomplish.

Exactly. You just have to focus on yourself. My brother eats twice as much as me and I'm 300 pounds when he's 200. It's not fair, but that's life. People compare themselves to others too much, it's ridiculous. WE ARE WHO WE ARE. That is that. What works for one person doesn't work for another, so why should we all be the same when it comes to how we gained the weight or how we lose it? My brother's best friend gained 100 pounds by being on anti-depressants, not by overeating, so when he stopped them, he dropped it all without doing anything.

I can prove anything by statistics except the truth. - George Canning

If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment. - Ernest Rutherford

Excellent quotes.

thewalrus0
08-12-2013, 04:24 AM
Sorry I disappeared for a while after writing this.

I am so glad to see all your replies. I was having a bit of a crisis when I wrote this. I've been gaining weight for the past few months and I have been feeling really down because of it.

I feel like I've been doing so much and yet getting nowhere. I have more knowledge, definitely, and I am 100% more caring towards myself. I used to be really mean the way I spoke to myself about my issues with food. Now I am more positive.

I've been meditating often and it's opened a world of happiness to me, but I still struggle with food.

I think I know what types of food I need to eat to be successful but I'm going to be 100% honest with all of you about why I think I continue to overeat, even if it seems silly.

1) I'm a college student. I have no job right now. My scholarship leaves me a bit of grocery money but not much. I'm looking for a job but when I don't have one I eat my parent's groceries, which leads to number
2) I live at home. Whether or not I go to the store and get cinnamon rolls or chips or whatever doesn't really matter because I might come home after a long day and find them sitting on the counter anyways. My family is in the same position I am and we cycle on and off, sometimes having no junk food in the house and sometimes one person will get junk food and we all fall of the wagon together.
3) Even my mom's regular groceries tend to be highly processed. She gets things like canned sauces(packed with added sugar), noodles, bread, lunch meat(processed), margarine, tortilla chips...essentially it's all either sugary or carby or both. I find myself struggling to avoid things like pasta for dinner everyday because there aren't other options.

But you know, it's my issue to deal with. I need to find a way to eat healthier foods. I might not be able to eat organic beef all the time, but once my scholarship check comes in I'll have about $30 a week to work with.

I can make healthy meals on $30 a week, I'm sure of it. I know we live in a world where processed, highly refined carbs are cheap but I can't let that keep me down anymore. I'm just gaining and gaining and I hate feeling out of control when I eat.

Thank you guys again. Sorry I'm such a sad sack but it's just been rough. I sometimes feel like I'm not ever going to get this weight off and it hurts. I have trouble taking stairs, standing for long periods of time and shopping for clothes is a nightmare. It's really been getting to me. I've been overweight my whole life but it's only recently I've been so large that these things were an issue.

I'm ready to make the commitment again and I am working on a plan to move out of my parent's house. I think living on my own could help a lot. If I don't have that kind of food in the house then 9 times out of 10 I won't overeat. However, realistically I'll probably be at home another year. I need to find a way to break this cycle of losing weight and then gaining it back. :/ Maybe I should have a long conversation with my family about trying to keep the junk food out of the house, even if they have to stash candy in the car. Of course I can't ask them to stop buying noodles and tortilla chips but it's really the sweets and junk foods that get to me.

memememe76
08-12-2013, 12:25 PM
Although I am in maintenance, I do not and will probably never eat like a thin person. I eat like a person who was once overweight, lost and regained, and now in maintenance.

thewalrus0
08-12-2013, 06:47 PM
I would like to add that I've decided to start watching my carbs again. You've all inspired me to get back on track.

I try to live a paleo-ish lifestyle because I feel better and less hungry when I eat that way, except I still consume dairy. I have been slacking, especially because of my weight gain and my lack of money right now.

But there's only 13 days until the next semester starts and I'll be getting my scholarship money in the next couple days. I should be able to buy myself food every week. It might be rough and I might have to get a little creative but I guess it's either that or I keep eating food that makes me feel bad. I'd rather eat food that makes me feel good. :)

I feel better now. Just by having a plan I feel like I have a little more control.

Couch
08-16-2013, 01:27 AM
Can you offer to shop/cook for your family? It takes some effort, but it's a useful skill to learn, especially as you're not studying yet.

Or ask your mum to buy certain foods? Obviously nothing expensive, but eggs and frozen veggies are pretty cheap.