Depression and Weight Issues - Lack of motivation...

View Full Version : Lack of motivation...

08-07-2013, 06:10 AM
this is my first post so please be kind if im doing something wrong! why is it that the disgust i feel from looking in the mirror is not enough to motivate me to DO anything about it...then i do this late night thing where it's all i can think about. i have done all the "tricks".... writing goals down to check during the day and other such things ... how can this be the most important thing i have ever wanted (i have no Skinny me to look back on, have always been heavy) and NOT be able to get off the couch! it's like a physical block or something... how do i get motivated to get motivated? thanks in advance for anyones time! :o

08-07-2013, 09:18 AM
Just take it one day at a time. Wake up one morning, decide to go for a 15 minute walk , and maybe you'll enjoy it so much that you'll wake up the next morning an want to go for a 20 minute walk. In my opinion, the it's hardest to get the motivation started, but once you start loosing the first few pounds, you're confidence will boost, and you'll find it so much easier to continue. From my experience, there are no trick, you just gotta wrap your head around this new healthy lifestyle, and once you manage that , hopefully you'll find it a lot easier- Good luck!!

08-07-2013, 02:36 PM
I had a super long reply written, then realized that it was getting entirely too complicated to the point where I was losing my main point.

One: congrats on posting! That says that you're ready to begin a path towards a healthier you. This is a wonderful place to start - 3FC is filled with supportive, knowledgable people to help you out.

Two: Love the body you're in. For years, I looked in disgust at my body and tried to hate myself thin. That didn't work. Last October, something clicked and I went "Okay, so we're here. This is our starting point. Let's do something about it." Think of your body as a new car you've never driven before and you know nothing about. What can it do? How far can it go before it runs out of gas? What sort of maintenance program does it need?

Three: Make a list of THREE things you would like to accomplish. Just three. For right now, don't even put down anything weight-related. After you have your three things written down, underneath, write a detailed plan on how you'd accomplish them. I'll give you an example of my current goals:

1. Train for the 5K I have in November.
I will walk the 3.2 mile trail in town every Tuesday and Thursday with my 5K teammates. We'll time it to see how long it'll eventually take us to finish the race, but we will focus more on building endurance so we're sure that we'll be able to finish the route come race day.

2. Increase my weight load on all my lifts.
I will lift weights every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. I will keep track of what weights and how many reps I can do in a set, train with that weight for a few weeks, and then bump up the weight five pounds at a time. With each new weight increase, I will lower my reps until I can comfortably do three sets of ten for at least two training sessions in a row before I increase my weight again.

3. Eat Paleo 5-6 days in a row.
I will plan my meals for the week ahead of time, create a shopping list, and not stray from the list once I'm in the store. I will pre-cook items ahead of time so I don't have any excuse for not eating healthiy because I don't have time or energy to cook during the week. I will pack my lunch every day so I don't have an excuse to go out and order fast food.

Your goals can be anything you want, from cutting sodas or pastas out of your diet to walking ten minutes every day.

Four: "Appearance is the consequence of fitness." I'm taking that quote from the trainer who worked with all the actors for the movie 300 and I'm crediting Nerd Fitness for bringing it to my attention and making it my personal motto. I have it taped to my bathroom mirror and pinned right over the weight set so I can see it as I work out. As I complete my list of goals, my body is doing weird things: it's getting stronger. It's becoming able to walk more to the point where I can run 200 feet without getting winded (when I started, I could only go maybe ten seconds before I started to feel like I was sucking air through a straw filled with holes.) My body is starting to rely more on whole foods instead of processed and is getting more energy. My clothes are fitting looser. I've taken all focus away from "I have to lose X amount of weight" and put it into my goals that the weight loss has become a very pleasant "Hey! This is awesome!" side-effect.

Are there days where I want to kick the scale across the bathroom because it hasn't moved (or gone up)? Heck yeah, you bet there are. But then there are days when I realize that I'm carrying a 25 pound box of cat litter into my apartment one-handed with zero issues when it used to be such a hassle that left me huffing and puffing.

Five: go back to number Two. As you progress, love the body you're in. Appreciate what you're capable of doing instead of focusing on what you think you can't. After a while, look at your body, not with a critical eye, but like you've gotten another new car that you know nothing about. What can it do now that the old car couldn't before? Don't focus on the roll or bulge or [insert your favorite flaw here.] Focus on what you've accomplished. For me, my favorite thing to poke fun at has always been my flabby, fleshy bingo wing arms. They looked awful. After a month of lifting weights, they're not bodybuilder arms (and frankly, they never will be. I'm not lifting nearly enough to get that big, nor am I eating enough protien/calories to fuel that kind of growth) but they aren't the shapeless, doughy things they used to be. Instead of hating them, my arms are now my favorite parts of my body, flaws and all. I can see the beginnings of muscle definition and it serves as a reminder of just how far I've gotten so far.

Six: Update your goal list as you go. If you went down to 3 sodas instead of 6 per week, try for 1 soda now. If you went from walking 10 minutes a day, try for 15. These goals do not have to be an all-or-nothing approach (in my experience, that route led to constant failure for me) but you can treat them as baby steps. I'm still working on my list now, and I have no idea where I'm going after I complete them, but it gives me something to think about and look forward to.

Seven: Don't beat yourself up if you miss a goal/workout/whatever you've planned for yourself. We're all human, we all slip and make mistakes. Don't feel guilty if you ate something off-plan: ENJOY IT. Just be sure to hop right back on plan as soon as you can. Listen to your body: if it's telling you that you need to take a rest day from your exercise routine, TAKE IT. Going with the gusto all day, every day and not listening when your body says to slow down is a recipe for injury. Even if you do work out every day, take a slow day to let your body recover and heal up.

Eight: And most importantly, look back at number one. We're all here for you! I know that when I've had my down days that this site is the first place I turn to get the oomph back in my step. If you have any questions, just ask any of us, I'm postive that someone will be able to help. Good luck!

08-08-2013, 12:20 AM
:bravo: to the above poster!

Very well said.

Beyond that, if self hate, disgust, negative self talk and so on actually worked, we'd all be super models!

I like Issa's reply, but if at the moment it seems overwhelming, pick one thing, just one. Conquer that, and move on to the the next thing.

You did not get where you are overnight, and you won't get to where you want to be overnight. :hug:

Small changes do add up in the long run.:carrot::carrot:

08-08-2013, 03:28 AM
wow...thank all of you so much for writing back! i am seriously overwhelmed with emotion! i didn't expect people to be so nice i guess....i love all the ideas Issaknit! I am going to list goals more positively. i have tried to write down goals before but it was in that "hate myself thin" frame of mind. this is a different outlook and i am so grateful. Thanks also to snowpatrolchlo and shcirerf; it's wonderful to see everyone supporting each other and your thoughts on how to "create" a starting point are very useful. I am on anti depressants (since forever) so i am no stranger to being consumed 100% by negative thoughts. i am working towards being mentally stronger as well. :)

08-08-2013, 03:37 AM
Hello! I am new to this and yours was the third post that I read and I was so very inspired by it!!! I added you as a buddy and I hope you don't mind...I am almost the same height and weight as you and I would like to lose weight before my knee replacement. I think I just need a little encouragement! Maybe we can support each other...thanks so much for listening!

08-08-2013, 03:04 PM
awesome...i need to figure out how to add a buddy...i will get all this down and am going to post about the goals ive made once i get them done! :)

08-27-2013, 11:56 AM
Like Issa's reply, very positive and motivating thoughts. Do things what gives you happiness, pamper yourself with gifting something or other. Participate in constructive and positive conversations, read books and engage yourself.

10-23-2013, 01:31 PM
Some great replies here, yes especially Issa's. Really resonate with the above post. Start small yes, then *reward* yourself in some small way each time you meet a goal, and *as soon as* you do. Especially right after the early, 'smaller' goals like taking a walk around the block. Adding to the above reward suggestions, you could say positive things to yourself for 3 minutes- use a timer and look in the mirror while you do it. Things like this can really help support the growth in beginning stages.

Brian - Personal Fitness Consultant

10-26-2013, 04:28 PM
I have had such a hard year. I've managed to stay at 257, but I am not motivated to lose weight. I want to really badly, but I just don't know if I could bring myself to count calories again. The very thought is so daunting that I am afraid I will never be able to diet again. Does anyone have any tips for me?

I have been diagnosed with dysthymia since I was 16. I believe that my medications I have been placed on aren't quite the right fit, and that may be causing problems for me. I am very low energy and I have been that way for months, unless I drink coffee.

I hope that I can get my medication changed.

Mori M
10-26-2013, 08:36 PM
I've tried and failed so many times, it's making me wonder if I actually *want* to be fat and miserable for the rest of my life.

Lily Wu
10-28-2013, 03:12 PM
I've tried and failed so many times, it's making me wonder if I actually *want* to be fat and miserable for the rest of my life.

I understand your feeling and that's what happen to me rite now :hug: let's get up no matter how many times we failed, it's worth to fight for

10-28-2013, 09:33 PM
Just wanted to chime in and say that I need to work on motivation, too. It is a constant battle for me. I wish I could say that I look forward to eating well and exercising consistently, but I dread it and procrastinate about it more than I care to admit. I am at an all-time-high weight (again), and I really want to lose some significant weight (ideally 65 pounds.....and that isn't even my "ideal" weight for my height) and get much fitter, but what is it gonna take?!? I have a difficult time trusting that what I do today impacts tomorrow's results. I feel so heavy, so one or two workouts really don't have a noticeable impact. I do feel better AFTER working out, but can't keep it going long enough to see results. If I am not hypervigilant, my weight just continues to climb. I need to lose 15 pounds just to get back down to 200! I am also on depression and anxiety meds, which makes losing weight harder, but I cannot let that stop me! Keep posting and reaching out for help, and try to look forward to posting even your smallest progress here to us! Strive for progress and not perfection!!! YOU DESERVE THIS AND YOU CAN DO IT!!! So can I!!! :-)

Fiona W
11-04-2013, 09:37 PM
Bunnydream, if you're daunted by the thought of counting calories, why don't you do the Atkins diet? I've lost 51 pounds so far on Atkins, and I never count a thing. You get to eat all the meat you wanted, all the fat you want, and then cheese and salad greens in moderation. I've also incorporated snacks of macadamia nuts, without changing my rate of weight loss. I've never hungry for longer than the time it takes me to walk to the kitchen for more food. =laugh=

11-18-2013, 01:28 AM
I am on anti depressants (since forever) so i am no stranger to being consumed 100% by negative thoughts. i am working towards being mentally stronger as well. :)

I know EXACTLY how that is... It's hard not to think negatively about something like this (wanting to lose weight/being discouraged by it) when negative thoughts already come in so easily about oneself in general.

11-20-2013, 12:36 PM
I know we focus more on the way we look, but what we really
need to focus on is our health.
Instead of wanting to look better for society's sake... why not
want to do it to feel better? I have lost a lot of fat and the one
thing I can say positively is that I do have more energy and more
confidence in myself. I was so sad and tired when I was over 300 pounds.
I can only imagine how I will feel when I lose more.

I suffer from depression as well, and I find that there is nothing that
makes me feel better than exercising... it works so much better than medication.

So, again, try to stop focusing on how you look, but focus on how you feel.
Do you currently feel good? No? Then you should take baby steps on working
towards feeling better. Start walking a bit a day and then try to beat your record. Do it for you.

11-23-2013, 05:16 PM

12-26-2013, 09:22 PM
You are not alone. I am having trouble motivating, as well.

04-02-2014, 01:17 AM
Bunnydream, if you're daunted by the thought of counting calories, why don't you do the Atkins diet? I've lost 51 pounds so far on Atkins, and I never count a thing. You get to eat all the meat you wanted, all the fat you want, and then cheese and salad greens in moderation. I've also incorporated snacks of macadamia nuts, without changing my rate of weight loss. I've never hungry for longer than the time it takes me to walk to the kitchen for more food. =laugh=

I have done atkins in the past! I highly prefer Dukan to atkins, however. I am feeling panicked because there have been recent claims that too much protein can be really bad for you.

I'm not sure what I should do. :(

04-02-2014, 11:17 PM
How do you add buddies or talk to people individually?