Weight Loss Support - Weight loss is hard for everyone! (mini rant)




AlyN
08-06-2013, 06:15 PM
Hi everyone!

So I just wanted to share a comment that I had gotten earlier today from someone I'm very close to... they know I'm on a diet and when I told them that I had just came back from the gym they told me "oh, you better be glad you're doing it now that you're young, its so much easier when you're young and so much harder when you're older."

I understand that it probably is more difficult, I mean sheesh, my 22 year old baby fat doesn't want to go ANYWHERE... but the way she said it, just made it seem like it was so easy for me.

It's not the first comment I've had from someone older telling me that... and I'm sure it wont be the last. But it's annoying... and here's why.

#1 I work just as hard as everyone else. I have to say right at 1200 calories (it's almost a science for me to lose weight, when I go over, I don't lose anything)
#2 I have to work out at LEAST 5 to 6 times a week to see any change in weight. Cutting calories isn't enough. Doing whatever diet program isn't enough.
#3 I don't think anything about weight loss is easy... so being told that what I'm doing is "easy" doesn't set well with me. Especially since I'm 4' 11" and need to lose over 1/2 of my body weight to be considered healthy...

I work hard... WE ALL work hard! Even if it's easier for me now, it doesn't feel easier, and comments like that just grind my gears! I'm sorry if this offends anyone, I just had to rant somewhere!! And I knew going off on my loved one wasn't going to make the situation any better!

Love you all!


olehcat
08-06-2013, 06:40 PM
I hear you, especially as another shortie!

I'm one of those "older people" (an ancient 42 *grin*) and I'll be honest. What's true is that I can't get away with stuff I got away with when I was in my 20s (as far as drinking, eating junk, etc.) If I ate/drank the way I did back then, I'd be really overweight.

But when I put the effort in and do what I need to do to lose weight, I actually find it easier to lose than a lot of people in their 20s. I don't know if it's because I'm blessed with a good metabolism or if it's because I never dieted when I was younger or just luck, but when I put in the effort I see the same results I did when I tried in my 20s. So right now I'm heavier than I want to be, but I do NOT blame age, I blame some REALLY bad eating/drinking habits that I've fallen into over the last 2 years or so (too much wine, going out to eat too much, being lazy and inconsistent about diet and exercise, "treating" myself too much on the weekends, etc.). All my fault. None age related.

So in other words, I'm agreeing with you. However, I do know that there are probably some folk my age that have more trouble, maybe due to specific health issues or medication. Everyone's different.

kaplods
08-06-2013, 06:54 PM
When I was young, it really annoyed the hella out of me to hear older people saying how much harder it would be to lose weight as I got older.

Now that I am older, especially as I approach menopause, it really annoys the hella out of me to hear young people talk about how hard weight loss is, and I wish I had listened to all those fat, old people when I was younger.

I now lose a pound or two a month on a calorie level that once yielded me (at this same weight) 5-7 lb loss PER WEEK. I can't exercise very hard because of health problems and what I can do HURTS so, so, so much worse than the so much more I could do when I was in my teens and twenties.

I had no idea what hard was until I got old and worn out from years of obesity and yoyo dieting.

If I had a time machine, I would go back and tell my 12 year old self "it only gets harder and more painful," but if I didn't listen to my mom, grandma, aunts, and fellow WW members, I probably wouldn't listen to an older me, either. After all, she'd be just another fat, old lady who doesn't know what she's talking about and who doesn't remember how hard it is to be young.


MauiKai
08-06-2013, 07:11 PM
I see both sides. It's never EASY to lose weight, but when young it is "easier" to do. I totally get your frustration, you feel like you're struggling and working so hard, and someone comes along and makes a comment that seems to indicate it's not that hard. I think I'm still probably considered "young-ish" at 31, but I'm also disabled now so that makes weight loss SO much more difficult than it used to be.

TooWicky
08-06-2013, 07:14 PM
Yeesh, I feel bad :o , I pretty much said this to a younger co-worker of mine. Not exactly word for word, but close enough. She's a sweetheart and I really like her friendship; I wonder if it upset her : /

Never would I ever want to imply it was easy to lose weight as a young person. She's busting her tail to get healthy and I know it's hard! I meant that it was so much better for her to lose it as a young person, so don't wait and delay until you are an older woman that has carried the extra weight for two decades (I'm in my late 40s.) Hormonal and body changes at midlife are a pita for me - they bring a host of challenges when it comes to losing weight, shaping up, and skin shrinking back up. Having been younger and older, it's more difficult for me to lose the weight as an older woman. Also, as I'm losing it, it's decidedly less aesthetically pleasing even as I am getting smaller overall, because I have been obese for so long.

You've definitely given me something to think about. It would never have occurred to me that she might have taken my comment that way. Now your friend may have indeed meant it's easy for you to diet because you are younger (I don't agree with that.)

LadyPetite
08-06-2013, 07:24 PM
I agree with kaplods. I'm 28 and I'm sure a lot of fit individuals older than myself can easily kick my butt in the fitness department. But for the most part, I haven't yet had the kind of health problems that come naturally with getting older or from carrying around so much weight for so long. While I may start running now without causing significant harm, a person twice my age with the same fitness level (null) might think twice before starting something so drastic.

I'm sure the person who told you it's easier to lose weight now than if you're older wasn't trying to piss you off or make it sound like you don't need to put in any effort. I'm sure they just meant they wish they had the energy and strength that generally comes from being in your youth to help them with their weight loss effort.

luckymommy
08-06-2013, 07:40 PM
This post made me think of why it's harder for us older people (I'm 42 as well). As far as I know, we lose muscle mass as we get older and having muscle means a faster metabolism. I think if someone is lifting weights at my age and they test out their metabolic rate against someone who's half my age and has very little muscle, they'd find that it's easier for someone my age to lose weight. But overall, older people do have less muscle so that means they need to eat less.

I'm not sure if that's all there is to it....there are, of course, mobility/health issues that can make things even more challenging.

The key is to just focus on your own situation and make every effort not to compare. I know someone who dropped a bunch of weight (a man) just by having a protein bar for breakfast instead of his regular huge muffin. His wife is doing Medifast and is losing weight but she couldn't believe how easy it was for her husband to reach his goal weight in no time. Comparing myself to any man or anyone younger or anyone who doesn't struggle with my chronic pain will just lead to frustration and a possibility that I'll give up because it's too hard.

Everyone struggles with something so just let comments like that roll off your back and stick to your plan.

QuilterInVA
08-06-2013, 07:52 PM
It is harder when you are older and one of the reasons is that for everyone, you have to cut 100 calories a day starting when you reach 40, at 500 its another 100, etc. and that's just to maintain whatever weight you are at. What you eat is the biggest thing in determining how successful you will be at weight loss. I'm 71 and my BMR is 1251 (hospital tested). I'll not be able to eat much more when I am at my goal but I do exercise 5 days a week with cardio and heavy lifting. I've maintained my weight loss since 1977 and it has always been an easy thing to do. It is definitely much easier when you are younger.

Radiojane
08-06-2013, 07:57 PM
It is hard work at any age. Believe me, I know. But youth is a blessing. I've seen people function really well at a high weight and then not do anything about it, and then age exacerbates all the problems and makes getting the weight off that much harder.

Keep in mind that there's some envy there too. A lot of people feel they've wasted their lives fat, and seeing someone with much more time ahead of them making changes can be tough.

CIELOARGE
08-06-2013, 08:05 PM
It is easier to lose when you are younger. No that it doesn't take a lot of effort and willpower, but the weight just comes off easier, faster (given that you have no medical issues)

I can tell from my own experience, that it was way easier for me to lose 10lbs when I was in my early 20's than it was during my late 20's. And all my friends keep telling me that things really do change after 30... So, I don't think she is taking away the fact that you have to still work hard to lose weight, but it is a fact that it is easier to do when younger.

AlyN
08-06-2013, 08:20 PM
I guess maybe the problem lies with the fact that I've been overweight for nearly my entire life... I am sure it gets harder, but it's really really hard now... I've had knee issues my entire life as well, and mobility has always been something I've had to just push through the pain with...

Personally, I don't think losing weight is any easier for me now than when I was 20 or 15... But I do get where you are all coming from! I don't think that the person who said it to me meant it maliciously, so I definitely didn't want to say anything to hurt her feelings!

But I guess my thought process, is that it can be really challenging for anyone at any age... and you don't exactly know what that person is going through to lose weight.

shutterbugmama84
08-06-2013, 08:32 PM
I get where you are coming from! Sure, physically it may be harder for someone who is older but we all have different life circumstances that others may not be aware about that make it harder too. For example I'm in my 20s but I have two small kids, I'm a stay at home mom and I run a small business. My time is much more limited and I ahve a lot more stress than say my mom who is in her 50s and newly retired. She has all the time in the world to devote to losing weight.

Someone else in their 20s might have thyroid issues, or injuries or any other medical problem. So I do think it's a bit presumptuous and unfair to assume someone has it easier. Everyone's situation is just so different so we can't assume it's easier for someone based solely on their age. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it but ya I would be annoyed too.

Suzanne 3FC
08-06-2013, 08:41 PM
Weight loss is difficult at any age, that's for sure. I didn't have a weight problem until my late 20s, and didn't try to lose weight until much later. What I wish I had known back then was the long term effects of obesity if you don't lose it early on. Losing it later in life is still a great thing, but it comes at a price for a lot of people. Something to think about :)

Only Believe
08-06-2013, 08:44 PM
I've said it to those younger than me (47) and I mean it in the best way possible, not meaning it's easier but it's great that they will get healthier in their youth and not wait until they are older. By that I mean they won't be carrying extra weight for years which can take it's toll on a body and can prevent some from living life to it's fullest. Missing time with children because mommy don't feel like doing (or can't do) outdoor activities with them. I also think a younger person's skin can bounce back after weight loss much better than an older person's skin can.

newleaf123
08-06-2013, 09:14 PM
Losing weight is hard for everyone. When someone makes that comment, my take is that they mean that AlyN at 20 will find losing weight easier than AlyN at 48. I don't think it's meant as a comparison that it is easier for AlyN at 20 than it is for NewLeaf123 at 48.

Everyone is different. It's just a comparison of your young self to your old self.

Personally, I haven't found it more difficult to lose weight at 48, but I have found that it takes a lot longer.

frankelure
08-06-2013, 10:41 PM
When you are heavier you burn more calories, when you lose weight you burn less. It takes burning 3,500 calories to lose only 1lb. This means that it won't get easier to lose it'll get harder. Your body does not want to lose weight; it wants to maintain. This is why when you exercise or diet you get so hungry. It's ok and also neccessary to feel hungry sometimes. I personally like to go to bed hungry.
Be mindful of your diet. Try not to significantly increase your intake with your exercise. If you burn 400 calories it doesn't give you a right to eat 400 extra calories. Yes, you will feel hungry. If you keep it up though eventually your body will need less and less calories to thrive and when you get to your goal weight and quit trying to lose your body will start to level out and you won't need to feel hungry anymore!

Aclai4067
08-06-2013, 11:24 PM
I'm definitely finding it harder to lose weight as I get older (and I'm only 27). But it obviously wasn't EASY when I was younger, or I wouldn't be here. I understand it's frustrating to feel like someone is discounting your efforts. What you should take away from it is just stick with it now, while it's not quite as hard. I wish I had done it sooner (don't we all). So just push through and don't let anyone discredit how hard you work to lose it, and how hard you will work to keep it off!

amfay11
08-06-2013, 11:29 PM
i'm 4'11 too! i have double baby weight to lose (have a 5 yr and a 5 month old) :) just keep on pushing, you can do it!

memememe76
08-07-2013, 12:29 AM
"oh, you better be glad you're doing it now that you're young, its so much easier when you're young and so much harder when you're older."

Just looking at the comment itself, but I don't see it being all that bad. She said that it's good that you're trying to improve your health now instead of later. The longer you continue with bad habits, the harder it is to break them.

To me, she made a positive and complimentary comment that you are taking action now.

Rhiko
08-07-2013, 12:59 AM
I, too, reflected on how I've said something like this myself. I haven't said it in the same way, more like I said it to someone thin saying it must be easy for them to keep their weight down. Hah!

Congratulations on keeping up your weight loss and not being deterred because you don't see changes as fast as some others might. :)

patns
08-07-2013, 02:27 AM
Losing weight is hard for everyone. When someone makes that comment, my take is that they mean that AlyN at 20 will find losing weight easier than AlyN at 48. I don't think it's meant as a comparison that it is easier for AlyN at 20 than it is for NewLeaf123 at 48.

Everyone is different. It's just a comparison of your young self to your old self.

Personally, I haven't found it more difficult to lose weight at 48, but I have found that it takes a lot longer.


That is the point, you have to compare your young self to your old self. Weight loss has always been difficult for me, I have been overweight since childhood and can relate to all the issues younger people mentioned. But sadly it is brutal in my 60s. As quilter mentioned you have to cut 100 calories a day for each decade staring at 40, My tested BMR is under 1000. Another big problem is that starting at around 40 women lose muscle and it turns to fat. Then add in the hormone changes after menopause.

But it is not impossible, I have very slowly lost 60 pounds since I turned 50 and am continuing to do so. I also have excellent health.

The person who made the comment to AlyN probably did not mean to be rude. We all wish we had the chance to give advice to our young selves. I would holler at myself BUILD UP MUSCLE! This would have made such a huge difference and that is what Alyn was working on. Keep that up and it will serve you excellently in later years.

mariposssa
08-07-2013, 03:31 AM
Well, I can certainly agree with you that weight loss is hard. For everyone. It was hard for me in my 20s. It is hard for me now in my 40s. But, having done both...I am sorry and I am not just saying this because I am fat and old...but, it is infinitely harder. In fact, in my mid-thirties I lost 50 lbs and it was also substantially easier, just a few years back. The longer you let it go, the more you have to lose and the older you get, the more difficult the process becomes. It might be because of increased age, declining health, decreasing metabolism, yo-yo dieting or any other number of problems.

But, that being said, don't let us old fatties get you down. Don't let anyone negate your feelings or experiences whatever your age because weight loss is HARD. For you. For me. For most everyone.

Good luck to you!

Wannabeskinny
08-07-2013, 09:12 AM
I can't speak for others, but losing weight was definitely easier for me when I was young. For many reasons. A little bit of effort yielded a lot of results. Now that I'm older there are more obstacles, time being the biggest one. With a toddler in the house, my own business to run, and no family to help us with babysitting it's a killer on my time and energy. I used to work hard when I was in my 20's too, don't get me wrong. But now I fall asleep when my head hits the pillow... at 9pm lol. Added to that is some injuries that make it more difficult to work out the way I'd like to. Add to that a husband who's a pasta freak and a healthy weight, it makes it difficult to navigate food too. When I was young I was responsible for my own self, I had less wrinkles and body image issues, and more time to spend on me and all of my money went to me me me me me. Now I really have to think about other things first. As much as I want to go and exercise, I couldn't quite afford to get the necessary sneakers for months!!! Just last week I finally bought a good pair of sneakers, for such a long time I've been wearing shoes that hurt my feet - not good with injuries!

Yes, it is easier to lose weight when you are young. That's just a fact of life I'm afraid. I'm not saying it's easy for YOU to lose weight. I'm saying it's easier for you now than it will be later. If I imagined myself as that lady who said that to you, I'm willing to bet she was lamenting herself, and comparing the yield of her efforts then versus now. Do it while it's easier!

patns
08-07-2013, 12:57 PM
Back to add, I was taken aback by the original post because I thought I had said the same thing to younger people. But then I realised I didn't. What I actually say is ; You are very SMART to lose the weight while you are young.

AlyN is doing everything right, but true it is NEVER easy.But in the long run it is all about being healthy. I am the same weight now I was when I graduated from high school; granted 145 was way too at high 18 and 5'1". It is still too heavy at age 65 to have clothes fit around my belly, but it is way better than the 204 I got up to.

I had an eye opener about this last week. I had a visit with someone I had not seen since high school. We were the same size then, both short and round.

We are both 65 now. She has beautiful skin and hair but I am sure she is much more than 100 pounds heavier than we were in high school. She had to be helped out of her car, they had been travelling several hours. She first asked for some milk to take her morning pills, the number of which I couldn't believe. She has had a hip and knee replacement and needs a cane to walk.

I suddenly appreciated that I am on no meds.

So yes, maintaining healthy eating and exercise is tough. Very tough at an early age too with being pregnant and looking after a young family. It deserves rants at any age.

But in the end it could result in a much healthier life.

Keep doing what you are doing AlyN and keep ranting when necessary, it burns off calories.

Elladorine
08-07-2013, 03:42 PM
I do believe there's something to be said for losing it while you're young, mainly in hopes of avoiding the health issues extra weight can cause over time. And with that being said, I wasn't able to get it off when I was young. I'd work hard, but with completely the wrong mindset and would just give up when the results weren't happening.

I gave myself years of undiagnosed type 2 diabetes and a floodgate of horrible symptoms. I developed such sick, weakly lungs that I reached the point of having mobility issues. Yeah, in my late 20's I was so fat and out of shape that walking across the room sometimes wound me up in the ER! That was an extremely difficult point to start from and made me wish I'd have lost weight when my body hadn't been so damaged (and I was relatively young still)!

Pulling myself out of that was the most difficult thing I'd ever done and something I won't soon forget. I currently help lead a local weight loss group, and as a 37-year-old I'm by far the youngest member as everyone else is old enough to be my parent or grandparent! And I'm often told it's good I'm working on this now while I'm so "young."

That is something I don't mind hearing as it's something I agree with. But I'm also occasionally snarked upon over it, as if I have some type of unfair advantage over them: "well of course you're losing weight, you're young!" That tends to irk me; if youth was the key to weight loss I'd have never spent the majority of my 20's and 30's being morbidly obese.

crispin
08-07-2013, 03:56 PM
My body was better at weight loss when I was younger, but my mind's better now.

I find it so much easier now to be patient and consistent. I also am far more informed now about nutrition and my own body. So yes, right actions led to the pounds falling off more quickly 10 years ago, but now it's so much easier for me to do the right actions.

AlyN
08-07-2013, 04:08 PM
I do believe there's something to be said for losing it while you're young, mainly in hopes of avoiding the health issues extra weight can cause over time. And with that being said, I wasn't able to get it off when I was young. I'd work hard, but with completely the wrong mindset and would just give up when the results weren't happening.

I gave myself years of undiagnosed type 2 diabetes and a floodgate of horrible symptoms. I developed such sick, weakly lungs that I reached the point of having mobility issues. Yeah, in my late 20's I was so fat and out of shape that walking across the room sometimes wound me up in the ER! That was an extremely difficult point to start from and made me wish I'd have lost weight when my body hadn't been so damaged (and I was relatively young still)!

Pulling myself out of that was the most difficult thing I'd ever done and something I won't soon forget. I currently help lead a local weight loss group, and as a 37-year-old I'm by far the youngest member as everyone else is old enough to be my parent or grandparent! And I'm often told it's good I'm working on this now while I'm so "young."

That is something I don't mind hearing as it's something I agree with. But I'm also occasionally snarked upon over it, as if I have some type of unfair advantage over them: "well of course you're losing weight, you're young!" That tends to irk me; if youth was the key to weight loss I'd have never spent the majority of my 20's and 30's being morbidly obese.


That's exactly how I felt! I think it was the tone she said it in too that made me feel like I had an unfair advantage. I completely agree with everything you said, you nailed it!

AlyN
08-07-2013, 04:09 PM
Thank you everyone for all of the replies! It helps to see the other side while also getting support! :) You guys are awesome

EagleRiverDee
08-07-2013, 04:17 PM
I understand your frustration. Your friend probably had a different experience, but that doesn't mean everyone has the same experience. I know that before I turned 30 I had no problem at all maintaining myself at 130-135. After I turned 30 it got progressively harder and then I got a thyroid condition and gained 90 lbs. But that doesn't mean anything about anyone except me.

patns
08-07-2013, 05:29 PM
My body was better at weight loss when I was younger, but my mind's better now.

I find it so much easier now to be patient and consistent. I also am far more informed now about nutrition and my own body. So yes, right actions led to the pounds falling off more quickly 10 years ago, but now it's so much easier for me to do the right actions.


So true.

Lunula
08-07-2013, 06:00 PM
Yep, it bugs me, too. I'm 42 and my mom says the same thing to me...it bugs me not because it isn't true, but because I feel like she is somehow "excusing" herself from even trying to lose weight, ya know? She isn't obese, but losing some weight would likely help her - even if it just took some pressure off her joints. It bothers me less when much older people say it to me because I know it's true.

I'm only 42 and I gotta say, it *is* harder to lose it now than it was at 22. Not to say it's ever easy, but I do feel badly for women trying to lose past menopause. I used to go to WW meetings, and there was a woman who had been a member for like 2 years, she was in her late 60's and she would celebrate when she lost like 3 ounces. But she kept working, kept coming back, exercised 4-5x per week, tracked everything she put in her mouth. I think she said in her 2 years of coming, she'd lost 20 pounds and she was very happy about it. Most people (including me) would've given up. She had such a positive attitude, but it was very obviously hard for her to lose anything.

Personally though, I would never ever say that to anyone, because I think it's condescending, too.

jessicado22
08-07-2013, 06:13 PM
Losing weight is hard, no matter if you're 12 or 90. If you developed habits to gain the weight, chances are it is going to be really hard to change those habits to lose the weight. Healthy food doesn't taste as good as unhealthy food most of the time, and there are so many activities that are more compelling than exercising everyday. But facts are, the younger you are when you lose the weight -- the easier it will be strictly metabolism wise. Does it make it easy? No, losing weight still sucks. But it makes it easier for you than it would be for you 20 years from now when your metabolism has changed with age.

So many years I wasted being overweight. Not to mention losing weight now (32) has left me with saggy wrinkly skin that wasn't an issue before (I lost weight when I was 22 and my skin bounced right back). Losing weight when I was 22 was also much easier than it is now. Of course none of were there when your relative made the comment, but I would try to take it as encouragement if I were you. :)