Weight Loss Support - Were you treated differently after losing a lot of weight?




tricon7
08-06-2013, 09:27 AM
Just curious for those of you who've lost a lot of weight if and how you were treated differently?


pnkrckpixikat
08-06-2013, 12:55 PM
I noticed that I seemed to be less ignored at 200ish than at 300ish... but that could be attributed changes within myself - self esteem, willingness to put myself out there more etc. - and not necessarily to other people.

dstalksalot
08-06-2013, 01:55 PM
I really only have noticed minimal difference with strangers. Maybe slightly more eye contact and a few more doors opened for me by strangers. My extended family seems to be giving me a bit more notice or respect.....


Wannabehealthy
08-06-2013, 02:46 PM
I have yet to find out.......

crispin
08-06-2013, 03:12 PM
My younger brother lost 100 pounds when he was 19/20. He noticed a lot more attention from girls. It took him a long time to realize they were hitting on him. I don't remember him naming more differences, but I'll ask him next time we speak.

I lost 40-50 pounds, so not as dramatic. I've noticed that women, especially early in our acquaintance, ask me for fitness/diet advice. I guess they assume because I'm thin, I know what I'm doing. But I think that's a bad assumption. Plenty of thin people don't eat particularly healthy or exercise at all; they just naturally eat an amount of calories that keeps them thin. From guys, I've noticed more ogling.

fattymcfatty
08-06-2013, 03:46 PM
Not by my friends...
But strangers are nicer.

CherryPie99
08-06-2013, 03:51 PM
Way way way differently. I actually just posted about this on my blog.

An example is the crosswalk in front of my building that people are supposed to stop at to let pedestrians cross. The drivers used to look straight ahead and pretend they didn't see me when I was fat. I would have to almost step out into traffic to get them to stop.

Now - especially with men - they go out of their way to stop and wave me on, usually with a smile.

It's reality, but a sad commentary on society IMO.

Jen

fatgiraffe
08-06-2013, 04:43 PM
When I was 17 I went from 226lbs to 150lbs and I definitely was treated differently. I got a lot of attention, especially from guys. I didn't mind the attention from guys I didn't know, it was the attention from guys that knew me when I was bigger that I didn't like.

But I did eventually gain that weight back (and more!) and went back to zero attention at all! It definitely has played a huge role in my self-confidence.

MauiKai
08-06-2013, 05:53 PM
Yes.

At my highest weight, I felt completely invisible. Being 6'1" (and slim) I'd always gotten attention from guys. As my weight went up, it stopped, like someone had flipped a switch. I'm married so I don't mind that, but it was startling. When I lost the weight, it happened again. Gained it back, it stopped. So, apparently my social value goes up and down with the scale. :(

Song of Surly
08-06-2013, 08:07 PM
I'm still fairly heavy, but I have noticed more attention from men. I get stares ALL THE TIME from men. I try to brush it off as merely typical people to people staring, but it's become unnerving from time to time.

I've also noticed friendlier sales associates.

Aclai4067
08-06-2013, 11:39 PM
When I lost weight previously (never reached goal though), I definitely got hit on more often below 250 than I do above. Never really by anyone I was interested in, but it's still a nice confidence boost.

alaskanlaughter
08-07-2013, 01:32 AM
people hold doors open for me WAY more now than they used to.....ive noticed stares from men that I never noticed before...and one time a salesman practically CHASED me out the store door trying to put a fur coat on me (that I didn't want and wasn't interested in)...weirdddd

VioletDolphin83
08-07-2013, 03:55 AM
Being at a high weight I feel as if I'm invisible to men because it is rare for them to pay me any attention. But in the past when I lost a lot of weight I attracted a lot more attention from men, for a start I'd actually catch them looking at me nearly every time I left the house. These days it does happen but it is so so rare. When I got more attention from men when I lost weight in the past I wasn't happy about it because it felt as if I was only acceptable because I was thinner.

ReillyJ
08-07-2013, 04:15 AM
i think i get maybe a bit more stares from men but all in all i don't think i notice any different treatment EXCEPT i'm TIRED of getting comments all the time from women telling me i need to stop losing (i have, i'm in maintenance) or that i look sick or or.... i just wish they would not comment at all.
The one's that have lost weight also have said very nice and complimentary things, though :)

dehtripper
08-07-2013, 10:13 AM
I can't figure out whether I'm getting more lingering stares from men now in reality or I'm just noticing them more because I'm more open to that being a possibility and thus I notice it more. If I am indeed getting more stares, then I'm also not sure whether its due to my lack of excessive weight or that I carry myself differently in my new skin. Though to be honest, given my relatively heavily modified appearance for my city (tattoos piercings weird hair etc), I think I've been treated somewhat differently for so long perhapas my meter is off :P

I'd say its less other's behaviour that has changed, but rather my interpretation said behaviour.

rubidoux
08-08-2013, 02:00 AM
Omg, dehtripper, the idea of a heavily modified appearance cracks me up. I live in a part of town where it's pretty normal to be heavily modified, but I still caught myself STARING at some guy a couple of days ago whose face was HEAVILY tattooed, but jeez, if he's gonna make it so interesting to look at, doesn't that make it ok to stare? Alright -- that has nothing to do w you, except that I could see how your meter could get wonky, especially if its out of the norm where you are.

Way way way differently. I actually just posted about this on my blog.

An example is the crosswalk in front of my building that people are supposed to stop at to let pedestrians cross. The drivers used to look straight ahead and pretend they didn't see me when I was fat. I would have to almost step out into traffic to get them to stop.

Now - especially with men - they go out of their way to stop and wave me on, usually with a smile.

It's reality, but a sad commentary on society IMO.

Jen

I had the same exact cross-walk experience of some guy making eye contact and giving me a big smile. It was so strange! And that sort of thing never happened to me when I was bigger. I walked away feeling kinda pissed at the guy who smiled at me bc you know if I was fat, he would not have done it. But of course, as far as I know he was not one of the millions of men who never smiled at me back then. Seems somehow wrong to be mad at him.

One thing that's been on my mind lately that's related is that I'm going to be looking for a job sometime in the next year or two (been staying home w the kids) and I know that would be much more difficult if I were at my heaviest. And it kinda makes me furious that I have to consider that sort of thing. My career has nothing whatsoever to do w my shape, but I have no doubt that I'd do better placement-wise and go farther if I was thinner. In some ways, the idea of being attractive to do my job -- I'm a criminal defense attorney -- makes me feel kinda vulnerable. But it's not the clients who will be hiring and promoting, that's just other lawyers who should know better.

jessicado22
08-08-2013, 02:43 AM
Strangers seem nicer...but that could also be because I am more outgoing. I used to be so embarrassed I would kinda rush wherever I went. I also have a baby on me now, and everyone smiles at you when you have a baby, ha ha. The last time I lost weight though, I definitely noticed a difference in attention from men and kinder store clerks and there was no baby then :)

tricon7
08-08-2013, 10:45 AM
I had the same exact cross-walk experience of some guy making eye contact and giving me a big smile. It was so strange! And that sort of thing never happened to me when I was bigger. I walked away feeling kinda pissed at the guy who smiled at me bc you know if I was fat, he would not have done it. But of course, as far as I know he was not one of the millions of men who never smiled at me back then. Seems somehow wrong to be mad at him.

All I can say is, women and men sure react differently to attention from the opposite sex as a result of weight loss. I've read more than one post in this thread of women getting angry at this new male attention, whereas if a man loses weight, gets trim, and women start "noticing" him he sees it as an hard-earned reward. I guess we're made differently in this respect. But if all the men in the world were suddenly sucked off the planet, I think a lot of the motivation for women to lose weight would go, too, and that goes double for men (er, from women in our case). Let's face it, motives or no, a box wrapped in plain brown paper doesn't look nearly as pretty as one wrapped in rainbow colors.

MindiV
08-08-2013, 12:07 PM
Yes, I started getting noticed. Not that I wasn't "noticed" before, but people started going out of their way to talk to me. Men spoke to me. Women shot me dirty looks. People said I looked sooooo good.

Fast forward a few years, I get pregnant, have a baby. I'm still hanging onto about 13 pounds I canNOT seem to lose. And now the cattiness comes out.
"Oh, you look GOOD. You were too skinny before!"
"You looked sick before. Much better now."
"I prefer you with more meat on your bones."

So either people lied before or they're lying now. Can't figure it out...

SunnySide99
08-08-2013, 12:12 PM
I'm tall so I've always got noticed even at my heaviest weight, but now strangers are much nicer to me (holding doors, making small talk, smiling at me etc.)

I get a lot of male and sometimes female attention with the stares and trying to flirt with me, but I pay it no mind although in my head at times I'm thinking "who...me?"

With people I know I have lost some friends. Particularly those who have been trying to lose weight and haven't succeeded for different reasons. Others I've had to dump because their continued to attempts to sabotage me, or got jealous and kept saying I should stop because I became smaller than them.

This weight loss thing is something else!

dehtripper
08-08-2013, 12:33 PM
Omg, dehtripper, the idea of a heavily modified appearance cracks me up. I live in a part of town where it's pretty normal to be heavily modified, but I still caught myself STARING at some guy a couple of days ago whose face was HEAVILY tattooed, but jeez, if he's gonna make it so interesting to look at, doesn't that make it ok to stare? Alright -- that has nothing to do w you, except that I could see how your meter could get wonky, especially if its out of the norm where you are.



Haha, yea. I'd have to imagine you'd go into getting a face tattoo knowing people are probably gonna look. I don't consider myself actually heavily modified at all. But for my small-ish, industrial city its not super common, especially for women... and people have no tact. I find myself often checking that my fly isnt down nor do I have food on my face before I realize why people are staring.

Though I have noticed that people seem more open lately to asking me about my tattoos. I don't know why that would have changed with weight loss though... not like I really have more than summers past.

wishfuiiy
08-08-2013, 02:06 PM
It is very strange the way you are treated by others when you lose weight. I wasn't invisible before because I've always had a very strong personality with forced outgoingness at times. Now, it is just ridiculous the attention and thought people give me. I make more money as a waitress. I join the league of girls who are both flattered and angered by the new attention from gentlemen. It isn't the strangers I get upset with, but the ones who knew me. My ex-boyfriend who wasn't attracted to me anymore when I was at 350lbs definitely tried to speak to me again and that was shocking, made me feel good when I got to embarrass him by pulling a Taylor Swft a la "We Are Never Getting Back Together"!

GlamourGirl827
08-08-2013, 09:26 PM
yes. I was over 200 after each baby (I just had baby #3) and lost it both times. Men were nicer. Women, mainly over weight ones were ruder.