So, I got out of the hospital on Thursday afternoon, and binged that day til I was sick.
On Friday, I regained composure and ate normally, maybe even restricting a little.
On Saturday and Sunday, I binged from sun up to nearly midnight. Easily 12k cals/day. Seriously.
On Monday, I tried to get back on track. But I started binging at noon and again, stuffed myself until I was sick. Had to be 10-12k cals/day.
Back on track the past two days, not dieting but not binging either. Maybe 1700-1800 cals each day, and I have walked 1.5 to 2 hours the past two days.
I feel and am so bloated I can hardly cross my legs. Retaining so much water that I can push the skin on my ankles and it leaves an indentation. I look like I am carrying a food baby, I'm so big. I'm so embarrassed: I had to do a #2 and it was so gargantuan that it clogged the toilet (TMI but I just HAD to share :o).
Anyway, the water weight is coming off a bit; I've been in the bathroom a lot today. But I'm worried that this binge was different from others, due to the length, and that the weight is permanent.
Given the volumes of food I ate, how much permanent weight could I have gained? Is 20 lbs possible? I wouldn't have thought so, as I have usually only netted a pound or two after a one-day binge, but I am SO bloated and fat-looking, and the water weight just isn't coming off as quickly as I thought it would.
Why do I do these things to myself?
07-31-2013, 11:26 PM
No weight is permanent! Your success is a testament to that. I don't think you have gained 20lbs, but maybe 5-7 at the most? But some of that is water weight and etc.
Just continue to stay on track and keep drinking water since it sounds like you're retaining a ton of water.
It's okay, we all mess up. I remember you said you were getting help for that, any chance of you being able to talk to someone about this. I hope everything is okay with you since you said you got of the hospital as well.
08-01-2013, 12:48 AM
Why do I do these things to myself?
What's your own best guess?
Anyway, it's great that you got back on track. I suspect you gained no more than 10 true pounds, if that.
08-01-2013, 01:10 AM
Did you read the book Brain Over Binge? Some people found that very helpful.
08-01-2013, 09:38 AM
Hey KittyKat, I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm also a binge eater, and it's been a source of terrible shame and embarrassment for me. I don't have any real answers for you, but I wanted you to know that you're not alone. Try to be kind to yourself, because beating yourself up will only make you want to binge more. Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
08-02-2013, 12:41 PM
I'm going to agree with Amandie and say that I think it's extremely unlikely you've gained 20 lbs, maybe 5-7 at the most. I think the bloating you feel and the bathroom escapades are most likely down to what you binged on. Things like crisps (potato chips), salted popcorn, fast food and salty carby things make my body as you described when I binge on those.
I wish I could help you deal with the underlying causes for the binges but unfortunately I'm still struggling to understand that in my own life! You are not alone! I am going to assume that something kicked off the binge though, and if you are anything like me bingeing then begets bingeing. If you just got back from the hospital, could it have been stress-related eating, or nerves? If not, was it one type of food in particular that you craved and then denied yourself? In either case, I think when that happens that you just have to cut yourself some slack and either have a special hospital day treat meal or just give yourself permission to eat whatever you craved in the hope of staving off a much worse binge in the long-run. Either way, I think sometimes you have to loosen the reins a bit in order to tighten them up again. I think that binge eaters tend to feel the reins closing in and panic, and then go wild whereas easing up a bit helps to dial it down a bit. It sounds like this is what you have done the past couple of days though, not dieting and not bingeing. If this is what you have to do to get back on track then go with it!
I hope you feel better soon, and it turns out not to be a demotivating temporary (weight gain doesn't have to be permanent!) gain so that you can get back on track as soon as possible. I hope that you do cut yourself a bit of slack though, especially if you are having health problems that need a hospital visit. Take it a bit easier on yourself! Lots of hugs.
08-02-2013, 01:05 PM
So sorry about how you're feeling!
If you binged four days and each binge was approx. 10,000, then you consumed 40,000 calories. Let's subtract 2,000 from each day to acct for what might be your maintenance calories. That leaves 32,000. If we divide 3500 into that, we get 9 lbs. or so. That's probably your approx. damage.
You will lose that 9 lbs., but you know as well as we all do that you shouldn't try to do it by cutting back to the extreme; that will backfire. Also, don't beat yourself up. What's done is done. Many others have done the same, so you are not a freak. Just move on from here.
08-02-2013, 01:26 PM
Hey, I used to have binges like that as well. From my experience, the weight usually comes off within a week. The two days after a binge I might be up 15 pounds, but it always seemed to come off within a week, sometimes a week and a half - if I binged for 2-3 days.
As long as you donít keep binging, the weight will come off pretty quickly.
08-02-2013, 01:37 PM
If you burn off 1400 a day(about right with little or no exercise), over a 4 day period, that's 5600 calories burned. Eating 11k calories on the same four days is a net gain of 38400 calories, divided by 3500 calories per pound, is about 11 lbs. Sorry :(. Still, if you can gain them, you can lose them back.
08-03-2013, 03:24 AM
I don't think the standard equations will necessarily apply in this case, because there may be a limit on how much fat the body can store in a single day, and when you overeat a lot your metabolism kicks up and you burn off proportionately more. So it's possible the net fat gain would only be about 5 lbs (after the water weight has come off).
08-03-2013, 12:23 PM
. . . there may be a limit on how much fat the body can store in a single day, and when you overeat a lot your metabolism kicks up and you burn off proportionately more . . .
This is really interesting. I had no idea! Do you have any articles/research that you could point me to on this? (I'm not challenging you at all; I'm just interested in reading more). Perhaps this explains why many people have success with calorie cycling (I do this myself)??
08-03-2013, 01:23 PM
Thinking of you, KittyKatFan. Your predicament popped into my head this morning as I walked to the gym, in low spirits, maybe because of the rain. How are you doing today? Are you still eating a little more sensibly and walking?
08-06-2013, 12:28 AM
Your past does not have to be your future. Don't worry about it move forward onward.
08-08-2013, 02:17 PM
So it happened. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and learn from it.
For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.
-Mary Kay Ash
Good luck and keep us posted.
08-09-2013, 11:22 PM
Wow...thanks everybody for responding. I hadn't checked in lately due to sadness, shame, and just being busy.
So I pigged out last weekend. I just couldn't help it. I got chewed out by a dotted line manager (unfairly, I may add) and was so upset it ruined the weekend. Totally distraught. The jerk gave me an assignment due Monday and I had to go to wrk instead of therapy.
On Monday, 8/5, I got back on track. I think that dealing with cancer and the isolation that I had to go through for my nuclear med treatment, really messed me up, along with the stress from work. And I also had to go on a special diet for two weeks; it was very strict and I felt deprived. So when it was over, it was like being released from prison. And I ate everything in sight, probably to get through the feelings of isolation and loneliness. It was traumatic.
I have gotten back on track this week. I was so afraid of going back to 331 pounds and I made a commitment to maintain. I upped my attendance in outpatient therapy to three days, up from two. It has been a struggle to get those binge thoughts out of my mind, but I have to.
Talk about bloating. My ankles puffed up terribly. In fact, I am still puffy. I decided to face the scale in order to shock myself into reality and it was even worse than I imagined.
Two days before going to the hospital, I weighed 156 pounds (which is probably artificially low since the special diet resulted in consuming less sodium, so I had lost water weight I'm sure). This Tuesday's weigh-in? 194 pounds!!! :o. I felt so ashamed.
I weighed this morning and am down to 182, so 12 pounds of water weight off in three days. My ankles are still puffy so I'm hoping another 5-10 pounds can come off in the next few days. Hopefully damage was limited to 10 real pounds gained and I get to 175 after the water weight is gone.
I'm just going to do my best to fight the urges to binge and work to stay on my meal plan. I have been exercising again, which isn't easy when you're carrying nearly 40 extra pounds!:(. But if I can lose 1-2 lbs a week and just stay on track for 5-6 weeks, I can get back to where I was, hopefully...