General chatter - Is your partner similar to your weight?




livelaughlovesunshin
07-29-2013, 10:27 PM
I don't date very much at all. I've met this man who I have a huge crush on. He really acts/shows me that he likes me too. He asked me to take it a step further, I would like to but my weight is holding me back. I am just so embarrassed to be dating a man his size because of my weight. Here I am this big ol' fat girl and he is this thin attractive man.


coffeeshopgirl
07-29-2013, 10:42 PM
Go for it! I'm sure he likes who you are and not concerned with your weight. Perhaps he's proud of you for losing 37 pounds?

Some people can't gain weight at all - they can eat like **** and not gain a pound. Others aren't that lucky, and here we are! My point is, don't let your current weight make you give up a chance to be happy and make someone else happy too.

This is what the lifestyle change is all about. Love yourself - body, mind, and soul. Don't let your weight hold you back :)

IdealProteinNewbie
07-29-2013, 10:46 PM
Go for it!

I started dating my boyfriend when I was at my heaviest (289) and am still seeing him on and off now. He had no problems/issues before but is always complimenting me now.

I still have 30 more pounds to go so he will see the whole transformation from beginning to end!


CanadianCutie
07-29-2013, 11:41 PM
Go for it! I've got a little more than 100 pounds on my hubby, and was a lot more when we met.

kaplods
07-30-2013, 12:19 AM
My husband was the first man I had ever dated who weighed more than I did.

I felt like we stood out more and drew more attention as the "huge couple" than I'd ever felt as part of a mismatched couple, but honestly I think it was only my imagination. I think I felt more noticed mostly because it wasn't what I was used to.

I was used to dating men thinner, and even shorter than myself. Dating a very tall man was almost as strange as dating a bigger guy.

Dating hubby, a guy taller and heavier than myself was odd at first. I did really like feeling smaller than my guy (even if not by much and even with my being more overweight proportionally).

I think whatever you're not used to feels more noticeable, but in reality most people aren't paying any attention at all to whether you physically "match" as a couple.

aka8941
07-30-2013, 12:41 AM
When me and my guy first met I was 30 pounds heavier, and he was 50 pounds heavier. We've both lost some weight over our courtship even with all the dinners and such...it was necessary for our health.

but...now he weighs less than me...and he's 6'0 and I'm 5'8 so that definitely shouldn't be happening. and I don't feel as "small" around him as I used to, and it's affecting me. He can't pick me up as easily as before and I've got some insecurities about it obviously.

MarjorieMargarine
07-30-2013, 01:11 AM
I am going through this, too. A guy I am seeing (and am crazy about) weighs less than I do and I am not used to it. It is very difficult for me to not be super neurotic about it and wonder how he can want to be with me. Here are some thoughts I am trying to think to help:

1. If he were heavier, it would not bother me at all, and I would not be less attracted to him. In fact, I might be more attracted to him. Maybe this is how he feels about me.
2. I am putting more emphasis on weight than I would want him to put on it. I would not want him to be worrying about the fact that I was bigger than him, so maybe I should stop worrying about that, too.
3. Who am I to tell him what body type he is attracted to? And why would I want to "correct" him anyway? He's hot. If he thinks I'm attractive, go me!
4. I could very easily talk myself out of something great over a problem I have literally invented. He has no incentive to tell me he likes me other than that...duh...he likes me. Ending things or not letting things develop because of my own hang-ups is stupid. I have let being heavy dictate a lot of things about my life, and this should not be another one of them.

Hope this helps somewhat. It's still hard to shake, though.

livelaughlovesunshin
07-30-2013, 01:41 AM
Thanks everyone for responding.

I am going through this, too. A guy I am seeing (and am crazy about) weighs less than I do and I am not used to it. It is very difficult for me to not be super neurotic about it and wonder how he can want to be with me. Here are some thoughts I am trying to think to help:

1. If he were heavier, it would not bother me at all, and I would not be less attracted to him. In fact, I might be more attracted to him. Maybe this is how he feels about me.
2. I am putting more emphasis on weight than I would want him to put on it. I would not want him to be worrying about the fact that I was bigger than him, so maybe I should stop worrying about that, too.
3. Who am I to tell him what body type he is attracted to? And why would I want to "correct" him anyway? He's hot. If he thinks I'm attractive, go me!
4. I could very easily talk myself out of something great over a problem I have literally invented. He has no incentive to tell me he likes me other than that...duh...he likes me. Ending things or not letting things develop because of my own hang-ups is stupid. I have let being heavy dictate a lot of things about my life, and this should not be another one of them.

Hope this helps somewhat. It's still hard to shake, though.

Thank you so much for this. It really helps, I just got to get it through my head.

All of my past boyfriends have been thinner than me (even before I gained weight), I have never dated an overweight man but they were all taller than me. Much taller. This guy is 5'6 and *maybe* 150 lbs. So I am almost two of him. I think two of his legs together would make one of mine. He is so attractive though, not only on the outside but on the inside he is amazing.
I can't let my insecurities mess this up and I am scared that I will.

doingmybest
07-30-2013, 01:47 AM
When we started out together as students, my husband was average to skinny and I was "plump". He never ever seemed bothered by the fact that I was heavier.

Thirty years later we are both equally big. We look like salt and pepper shakers! Some have told us we look like brother and sister.

I say go for it. My brother was fat and short and his wife was tall and skinny. They were well suited for each other.

Don't let this hold you back. You may be exactly who he needs.

Arctic Mama
07-30-2013, 02:23 AM
When we met my husband was a foot taller than me and at least 20-30 pounds lighter, if I had to guess. By my high weight, it was even more. His BMI is just slightly overweight, I was super morbidly obese.

And we fell in love with no issues relating to size. He never told me I was anything less than sexy and beautiful. Now, I know from his responses and compliments that he appreciates and is enjoying all the hard work I've put into reducing my size (I'm now 80 pounds lighter than him, maybe more) and working on being as fit and healthy for him and my children as I can be. But it was no barrier to him courting and marrying me at all.

Underwater
07-30-2013, 03:28 AM
I met my husband when I was about 210-220 lbs. He was 149 lbs (and 5'11!)

He loved me all the way up to 265 lbs (he has since gained to 165 over 10 years) and now I"m 155 and lighter than him for the first time ever. We might "match" more in pictures, but our relationship has always been just as loving as ever <3

He was the first slim guy I ever seriously dated.

Then:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/wedding_prod/photos/05f5b3677a98852e45a9ffbfe017a6ff_m

In May (15 lbs ago):
http://i.imgur.com/R0UsUyHl.jpg

nelie
07-30-2013, 08:17 AM
When we first starting dating, I weighed double of what my husband weighed. He was a slim guy at 140, now he is still slim at 150 (more muscle these days). I've always weighed more than him though and he has always said I'm beautiful and has supported me throughout our 8 years together.

EagleRiverDee
07-30-2013, 03:02 PM
I outweighed my DH for years, I was 225 at 5'5", he was 205 at 6'3". It's nice that I now weigh less than him, although I have a ways to go to be HWP.

ArtThistle
07-30-2013, 03:31 PM
When we met, I was 20lbs lighter than my boyfriend. He was 145, I was 125. However, he has the opposite problem that I have. He eats and eats and eats, and is losing weight. He made it up to 150lbs at one point (he's very muscular), but now he's down to 130lbs, while I'm at 155lbs (and dropping!).
He's trying to gain weight because he knows he's too skinny. He's a bit taller than me, and with how much he works out and eats he should weigh more.

I've usually dated guys heavier than me, for no other reason than when I was 120-125lbs, it was hard to find a guy that weighed less. And it feels really weird to me to date a lighter guy.

pnkrckpixikat
07-30-2013, 04:24 PM
Honestly, if it is right it is right and weight won't matter.

When I first started dating my DH we were both heavy but I was about 60 lbs heavier (him around 250 me 300+) now I am 10 lbs lighter, I am about 250 and he is 260 and we are both working at losing. At our wedding last October he was 255ish and I was 210ish so we have been all over the spectrum for who is heavier and by how much. And it has never mattered a whit to either of us past health concerns. And it sounds like you are already working on that :)

bethFromDayton
07-30-2013, 04:35 PM
3. Who am I to tell him what body type he is attracted to? And why would I want to "correct" him anyway? He's hot. If he thinks I'm attractive, go me!


This. Over and over again, this.

Some *men find larger women attractive. Some men like willowy. Some men like curvy. Some men like all shapes :-). Who knows why anyone finds someone else attractive?

*I wrote that from the point of view of straight men finding women attractive, but it can be extrapolated.