Weight Loss Support - My attitude needs an overhaul ( can't get on the weight loss wagon)

07-29-2013, 07:14 AM
Hi everyone,

I have been 'trying' to get dieting for over a month now and blow it every day. I work out everyday but am slowly gaining and am soooo frustrated and angry at myself. I have a really healthy, satisfying meal plan, with a reasonable calorie goal; yet I just keep finding darn excuses.

I have been feeling sorry for myself, like it's harder for me than everyone else or something. I have had issues with binging/purging, and depression for a long time. I thought this last week that maybe I was a food addict and needed to avoid certain foods completely but now I realize I have been using that idea as another excuse to keep overeating!

I'm really over my whole attitude and just want to get on with it. I am over embarrassing myself by gaining weight when I say I am trying to lose it!!I CAN stick to a plan, I have done it before-though not for a couple of years now. I need an extra push in the right direction....something!!

I am hoping that by committing here to my diet that tomorrow I will be able to get on track.

Any words of wisdom appreciated, please. I am so tired of this groundhog day of starting the day well and then gradually slipping further and further until I've far exceeded my calories, or eaten junk, or binged and purged. Or all of them, usually.

Sorry for the negativity.

07-29-2013, 01:41 PM
Maybe stop thinking of each day as starting fresh, and instead realize that each meal / eating time is a fresh start? Figure out what your specific, derailing triggers are -- journal and really think about it -- then work out specific alternative solutions. Could be not keeping a certain food around, or having quick, healthy back-ups available when you're tired - whatever it is, it has to be something that works for you.

Another long-time poster (forget who) has a neat technique - she counts daily calories, but instead of starting at breakfast, she starts the 'day' at dinner and carries onto the next breakfast/lunch. I think she says it works best for her because more of her cals come later in the day at dinner - this way she doesn't run out before the end of the day, but can instead adjust for healthier breakfast/lunch choices. I've been debating trying that technique out myself.

07-29-2013, 02:04 PM
^ That advice actually makes a lot of sense, especially if you're calorie counting.

I'd also suggest, since you say you have a healthy diet planned out, to get ride of all the unhealthy food choice or whatever does not fit into the plan (if you have the possibility to do so (i.e. no husband, children to feed). And try to think if it's really worth it to eat your hard work away. When you get in the dieting zone, just stay there. Don't look back.

Good luck!

07-29-2013, 06:33 PM
Thanks for your replies.

Thinking of each meal as a fresh start rather than each day is a really good idea; at least I can eat well MOST of the time that way, rather than having to be perfect or else stuffing the whole day. I DO have a partner and children so can't eliminate trigger foods from my house unfortunately.

But that advice to stay on the diet train once I get on is the biggest click so far for me...I did have ONE good week of eating at the beginning of the month, but then I allowed a "free meal once a week" which just sets me off eating again! So I am for sure getting that out of the picture, it does waaay more harm than good for me.

Thanks again, it's great to have some support.

07-29-2013, 09:42 PM
I get overwhelmed if I think about all the months I have to be at this (and really...for the rest of my life when it comes to maintenance). So far, what has helped me is to tackle each day individually (the ol' one day at a time method) and also, exercise. If I start the day off with a good sweat session, I"m a lot more motivated to stay on track. I already have my workout clothes set out for me the night before and I put it on and then I just have to put one foot in front of the other, so to speak. I just think working out puts me in the right state of mind.

Also, I find that coming here frequently helps a lot.

If I feel like having something I shouldn't, I try to drink tea, chew gum, find something to occupy myself (cleaning a closet, painting, calling a friend, taking a walk, etc.). I also use visualization of how proud I'll feel when I wake up the next day, having resisted the temptation.

A quote that helps me a lot that I saw here is: If food is not the problem, then food is not the solution.

07-31-2013, 04:58 AM

I really like the idea of imagining how proud I will be the next day. I keep trying imagine my end goal to motivate me but it's like it's too far away to really have any impact.


07-31-2013, 05:59 AM
tarabella - you sound like me! ;)
We are the same height and almost the same weight, almost same goal! I also had the same issues.
Im still trying! As you can see ive been a member for a long time and maintained rather than lost.
I do find treating it as 1 meal at a time helps! My ethos is: Do as much as I can when I can. Thats all you can do! As long as you keep trying you will get there eventually :) Xx

07-31-2013, 12:50 PM
We're in similar boats size-wise and I can tell you one issue I have with consistency. I'm really not that miserable in life.

Sounds odd, but when I'm at a high weight, it is sooo miserable (clothes not fitting, looking horrible in pictures etc) that almost any short term discomfort is worth changing that.

But, once I lose a few pounds and I feel/look better that type of determination is a bit harder to come up with.

Right now, I look 'ok' in pictures (not awesome, but no double chin either) and I fit comfortably into my size 8 clothes. Is that where I want to be? No. But I look good and I'm smaller than anyone else in my immediate circle.

That gives me a false sense of 'that's okay'. It's easy to settle in that frame of mind.

My guess is, you are relatively comfortable, have an overall positive self body image and life is going okay. You are happy in those areas and mentally your body does not feel it's worth the effort to feel deprived. It doesn't see the need for it.

I was kinda stuck in that frame of mind for about two months, and I'm just now getting the scale moving again.

Every diet has it's obstacles and yours may very well be that you are actually happy :)

07-31-2013, 06:19 PM
I strongly agree with the advice to go one choice, one eating opportunity, at a time. If you slip up - and we all do - get back on plan with your very next bite of food. Don't give into "oh well, blew this day/week/month/year, may as well eat mindlessly now." Just get right back on plan with the very next eating opportunity, the very next bite.

If you cannot keep trigger foods out of the house because others like to have them around, then try considering them as "someone else's food." Here in my office, if I see a delicious-looking thing in the refrigerator, I can't just take it and eat it - it belongs to someone else. Try taking on the same mentality with your trigger foods at home. It's a good trick to play with yourself.

07-31-2013, 08:09 PM
Hi Lilbert, Katydid, and carter,

We are all at a similar weight so it's nice to have some solidarity here. It is so important to make that one choice at a time attitude. It's true that although I am definitely unhappy with my body it's not "that bad" so I too easily justify extra treats etc.

In my world though I am the biggest woman in my age range. I live near the beach and all the women I know are athletic, healthy surfer types and I am...not. This coming summer I really want to be able to hang out in bikini's with everyone else and feel at ease. I'm ok with the exercise and am still working on the eating.

I hope to post a success today. I have upped my calorie goal for now just so it is a bit more achievable, so can actually feel I "won" for the day, and build on that, rather than failing to keep to my lower goal and so adding on an extra 200-300 calories at night out of that sense of failure.

I hope you all have a great day!