Babysitter eating our food, including diet food? Advice?
We have an awkward situation approaching. In 2 days I will be going in for an induction. We booked our babysitter to come over for the day to sit with the kids while DH and I are at the hospital. I actually will not be seeing her. Our plan is for DH, I and the kids to go to the hospital (I have to be there at 6:30am) get me "settled" so the kids see where I am and say good bye, and DH is going to take them home, get them breakfast and the babysitter is coming at 9am. And then DH will come back to the hospital.
The problem is the babysitter will be there all day, and she helps herself to anything in the kitchen. Not that I would want her to feel that she can't eat, but I have made a point of stocking up on certain prepackaged items, specifically for after the baby gets here. Prepakaged, healthier items for when I get home so I can start calorie counting and of course because I do not want to go to the store when I get back from the hospital. And all easier stuff as I will not be cooking of even preparing snacks with a newborn and 2 little ones at home.
These items include things like individual cheese sticks and individual packages of nuts (100 cals each). The last time she babysat for us, she ate freely from the kids goldfish snacks and cheerios (including milk) and this is only in a few hours of babysitting...I wouldnt mind except we do budget our food for how fast we go through it and when suddenly several servings are gone, its kind of a pain. Like I just opened a box of Cheerios today, and because the kids eat small servings it will last awhile, but if an adult comes along and has 2-3 bowls, now its close to needing to be bought. Same with a gallon of milk. But I can't buy to accomodate her since I don't know what she will eat.
I am a little concerned she will help herself to my "diet" foods specifically for after baby. And in this case getting to the store is not something I will be doing, henseforth stocking up. I could hide the nuts as they don't need to be in the fridge, but not the cheese. I feel weird telling her some foods are off limits. I don't know if she plans on bringing her own lunch and dinner or if she plans on eating our food?? And I won't even be here to feel out the siutation when she gets here. DH unfortunately doesnt care. In his mind if she eats most of say, the nuts, I can just eat some of the kids goldfish until I can go to the store. (I HATE sending him because he cannot seem to handle finding specific foods and comes home with excessive junk food.) I also will be breastfeeding so I tried to pick foods that are nutritious as well as healthy.
So what should I do, just hope she doesn't eat us out of house and home? And in case anyone is wondering, she is not overweight at all! She is acutally very fit, but she still eats a lot.
I mean this with all kindness. In my experience, before bringing my babies home and also before major surgery, I have had a huge desire to try to control everything because otherwise I feel out of control. This sort of seems similar. I think you have to just throw up your hands and let things unfold. You have much more important things to focus on (baby,delivery,establishing nursing, DH, sibling jealousy, etc). At the end of the day, if eating healthy cheese sticks has to wait, it will still all be okay.
To answer your question, no, I wouldn't say anything to the babysitter. Just let go and put your energy where it is most needed.
best wishes for a smooth delivery and healthy baby!
How much are you paying her per hour? Maybe that'd dictate to me if she should eat freely or not but you've already set a precedent. If you are paying her something like $15+/hour, I'd possibly expect her to bring her own food and feed the kids out of your stash. If she does eat freely, you could put stuff away or mark do not eat if you really wanted to set aside some things for you. Otherwise I'd stock up on extra cereal and cheese sticks.
I know you meant well,and I understand what you are saying. However I have close to 100 pounds to lose. I only named two things as an example, but I specifically got everything ready so I will not have to worry about any cooking or food preparation. This also includes precooked things I froze, and prepackaged frozen meals, though I doubt she would eat those...
I do not want to eat goldfish or fruit snacks as part of my calorie alotment especially while breastfeeding, I want to have nutritious snacks as I will likely be snacking a lot. I BF my second son and I was hungry. all. the. time. as I think most breastfeeding mothers are, so I want to make my calories count. In my experience its very easy to reach for empty cals because of being so hungry, so I wanted to make sure I didnt do that. Once I stopped breastfeeding my appetite did become a bit more manageble.
I do not have any help other than DH who has to go back to work the next day. Because I will be breast feeding, I will be attached to my baby at the hip (breast? ) in the beginning. I FF DS #1 and aside from only having one child to care for I was basically a free woman whenever I needed to be. Popping out a formula bottle in a grocery store was a lot easier than standing in an isle trying to BF a newborn...which would be while my other two kids run up and down the isle. or leaving a cart full of groceries to go back to my car to BF...in the beginning, I found my DS BFing sometimes every 20 for a few hours, clouster feeding, so it was hard to do much of anything that I couldnt BF him right away.... So a short trip to the store is not possible until I atleast pum some milk, but I'm not sure how soon I can do that, as I will be establishing my supply first.
I wouldnt mind her eating one or two, but she might end up being here the whole day (depnds on how fast labor goes) and I would be pretty pissed if she ate half the bag. Like I said, I don't want to replace the foods I bought with something of less nutritional value. Also, it is very possible she might pass up my food and devour half a box of the kids gold fish. They don't eat it often, but enough that it would mean I'd have to be rationing it out so as not to run out.
We are not stocked to feed another adult, mainly since we dont know what she might decide to eat. I dont mind a little but past experience shows she eats quite a bit. In the past we just replace said item. This specific situation will make it a hassle to do so. I am thinking I will ask hubby to just replace what ever she ate while I'm in the hospital, hopefully it will be somehting he can easily find! lol And deal with all the junk he will bring home (whole seperate issue)
I absolutely need to have as many things in order as I can before baby arrives. I was a bit less prepared when I brought baby #2 home and it was difficult. I have NO help. Most people seem to have a parent or sibling or someone...I have none. HUbby works 13 hour shifts, so I'm with the kids from the time they wake up till they go to sleep, I do not have the help of a husband coming home at dinner. My oldest son is special needs and alone requires a lot of time and attnetion, so I am very worried how I will care for a newborn and keep him functioning. I'm sure after some time I will get into a routine, but when I first get home, I don't want to fall back on ordering pizza 3-4 x a week because I wasnt prepared, henseforth the frozen meals. I doubt I will be able to exercise anytime soon, but I can alteast begin to count cals. I cannot stay this weight. I am fat and uncomfortable, I don't have the engery to do what I need to do as a mom, I cant even get down on the floor comfortably. I know I'm pregnant, but I was this size after each baby, and I cannot function happily as a mom as this size. I don't want to put off weightloss or use the baby as a reason to eat poorly, and wake up a year from now the same weight. That's why I prepared everything. Yes, I am controling as much of my environment as I can so I am the most prepared for the things I cannot control. That's just me
I wouldnt say anything to her, I just find it annoying that she eats so much here, and that I guess that will be including lunch and dinner? And we do pay her well. When we hired her, she actually asked for less than we pay! We started her off at what we have paid our sitters in the past, and DH and i agree that we want to pay the person watching our kids more than minimum wage.
Not much I can do about it since I don;t want to approach her about it at all! So I come here to complain.
How much are you paying her per hour? Maybe that'd dictate to me if she should eat freely or not but you've already set a precedent. If you are paying her something like $15+/hour, I'd possibly expect her to bring her own food and feed the kids out of your stash. If she does eat freely, you could put stuff away or mark do not eat if you really wanted to set aside some things for you. Otherwise I'd stock up on extra cereal and cheese sticks.
SHe asked us for $8 an hour! We pay her $12, but she is getting a flat rate for the day. $175. If she is there 12 hours (from 9a - 9p) that's $14.50. My labor with my last was 12 hours. I'm going in at 6:30am. If for some reason I am done early, DH wil be coming back to get the kids and she still gets the full pay. I don't want to say anything to her, she;s a sweet girl. We dd tell her on her first night that she can have something if she wants, typically other sitters in the past eat a small something, if anything. We were surprised how much she ate. Its like that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, when Larry tell the guy to help him self to anything, and the guest does! And eats like the rest of Larry lunch meat, and Larry is like when someone offers for you to help yourself, its just known you dont take them up on it! And the guest is like "but you offered!" It was funny
Do you happen to have a 2nd fridge where you can put all this stuff, and instruct hubby to tell her it's okay to eat from fridge 1 but not from fridge 2 since that's where all your post-baby food is stored?
Or do you have a good friend that you can share a laugh with about this, and store the stuff at her house?
I do understand; I had 2 babies, nursed them both, and a DH who worked for a startup and travelled all the time, and no family nearby. I did take my newborn out and nurse him in the grocery aisles, but that was when I lived in a very liberal state. Where I live now is very conservative, and the pendulum seems to have swung backwards on nursing, sadly.
Anyway, I'm sure that distance from my baby days has romanticized it all. I know it's difficult, and that your concerns are very real.
Well if you don't want confrontation, then I don't know other than setting aside a few snacks or buying a few extra snacks. If you want her to bring her own lunch/dinner, then you'd need to ask and I'd call her to do so. Or you could leave money to order pizza for her and the kids? or something similar. When I was young, the only time I really ate pizza was when I was baby sitting because the parents would just want me to order pizza for myself and the kids.
Do you happen to have a 2nd fridge where you can put all this stuff, and instruct hubby to tell her it's okay to eat from fridge 1 but not from fridge 2 since that's where all your post-baby food is stored?
Or do you have a good friend that you can share a laugh with about this, and store the stuff at her house?
I do understand; I had 2 babies, nursed them both, and a DH who worked for a startup and travelled all the time, and no family nearby. I did take my newborn out and nurse him in the grocery aisles, but that was when I lived in a very liberal state. Where I live now is very conservative, and the pendulum seems to have swung backwards on nursing, sadly.
Anyway, I'm sure that distance from my baby days has romanticized it all. I know it's difficult, and that your concerns are very real.
We actually do have a extra garage freezer, so anything frozen that's off limits I'm going to out in there. I think I'm going to hid some of the stuff in the frige behind the stuff that no one looks at near the back! If she's willing to go behind the 3 month old half eaten jar of tomato sauce and the expired dressing, maybe she earned the cheese sticks!
More than feeling comfortable BF in public (although I admit I don't feel 100% comfortable in all places) its my fear of what my older children will see it as an opportunity to run away or tear the isle apart!
I'm going to fall back on sending hubby while I'm in the hospital and hope for the best.
Thank you. I think I'm just so nervous about having two kids and a baby, specifically because of my older son's issues. To be perfectly honest I am also embarassed and ashamed of my current weight. I don't want to leave the house at this size. I just want to get the bulk of the weight off asap so I can go out without feeling like everyone is staring at me. That is due to my own issues with weight, but they are very real and overwhleming for me.
Last edited by GlamourGirl827; 07-28-2013 at 06:14 PM.
Well if you don't want confrontation, then I don't know other than setting aside a few snacks or buying a few extra snacks. If you want her to bring her own lunch/dinner, then you'd need to ask and I'd call her to do so. Or you could leave money to order pizza for her and the kids? or something similar. When I was young, the only time I really ate pizza was when I was baby sitting because the parents would just want me to order pizza for myself and the kids.
Ah this is a good idea! We can even do it for lunch, as she might not be there for dinner. Hopefully I'll have a shorter labor. I lile this idea a lot. I'm going to mention it to hubby. Plus, my kids eat like a slice each, that means she can have lunch plus maybe snack on the remaining pizza later. I know I would! lol
Or you could leave money to order pizza for her and the kids? or something similar.
This is what I was thinking... leave a note explaining that you have certain foods prepped for when you get home and to avoid confusion this one time you are asking her to eat the kids snack only and leave money for ordering food for lunch and/or dinner. It would be an extra cost but would be easier in the end than worrying about replacing it, especially the prepackaged meals.
I'm sending you good thoughts for a smooth and wonderful delivery. It sounds like you've gotten things set up very well for your own homecoming - don't worry about what you can't control, things will work out all right. Enjoy the coming addition to your family!
Thank you everyone. I'm thinking between hiding food, moving frozens to the freezer, leaving money for pizza and sending hubby to the store while I'm in the hospital, my stash will be ok. I really like the pizza idea, I think that will really help minimize other items in the house being eaten.
Think of all the help that she'll be giving you and your family. Be at peace with most of the issues running through your mind. Yes, it'll be extra to have to replace single-portion things, but in the big picture, you're finding someone who is dependable and that you trust with the most important things in your life - your children. Don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck with your delivery.
I agree with the pizza!! That was one of the fun times with babysitting, the parents would leave a $20 or something for pizza, and food for the night! Another option would be if you really wanted them to have something homemade, you could pre-prep something that the babysitter can just toss in the oven. You could leave a note saying "hey, I just wanted to make sure my kids have a good snack, I prepacked them into little baggies and I even made you one! Have a fun day!" Usually saying something like that as an off-hand comment is easier than confrontation and will usually get you the desired effect.
Like others have said, don't let the smaller things get to you! Sometimes just gotta go with the flow on things lol!! I really wish you a smooth, speedy delivery
Babysitter eating our food, including diet food? Advice?
best wishes for a smooth delivery and healthy baby!
However I have close to 100 pounds to lose. I only named two things as an example, but I specifically got everything ready so I will not have to worry about any cooking or food preparation. This also includes precooked things I froze, and prepackaged frozen meals, though I doubt she would eat those...
