General chatter - long time lurker finally posting! (fyi very personal questions)




sparklesgirl007
07-23-2013, 12:11 AM
Hey guys!

I've been browsing 3fc for many years, finally got around to joining it :) Sorry if this is posted in the wrong area!

Lately I've been feeling very down because of my weight but more so in the case that I feel like I don't have a boyfriend/any love interests because of it.

I'm 26 years old, haven't had a relationship in the last 10 years, and I don't think I'm ugly or have any issues like that (putting myself down etc) but since i've starting working towards losing weight, I feel like it's the reason ive been single in so long.

I'm also scared, scared if this guy comes around that I will be very backwards about everything because I haven't had a boyfriend in ages, I don't know why I'm thinking about all these things when I don't even have anyone at the moment but it does scare me.

Not sure what has come over me lately, but I've just been feeling lonely I guess! I have a great job (makeup industry) which I love so much! and I finally feel like I'm happy with my work life but I wish I could go on fun dates like the rest of my friends.

Just wanted to see if anyone else has ever had these concerns? How do you make them go away?!

I have had people recommend online dating, and I'm a little turned off to the idea, just because the week i was on it, all these dudes just wanted one night stands, which I am NOT about. sigh. so much harder than it looks! and I don't think I'm a bad looking girl, yeah I got a few lbs but I have a good personality and I took care of myself, at least i like to think i do! lol

Anyway, sorry for the novel guys! Really excited about being a part of this great community! Would love to hear any advice you guys have =) Btw I wanted to ask advice on here but didn't know if it would be TMI and get banned. They are 100% honest concerns I have about certain issues (sex and related to weight) but i didn't know if I would get banned so I thought I would leave it for a different thread.

Ok I'm going to stop typing now! thank you for listening to me 3fc! :hug:


Zeitgeist
07-23-2013, 06:32 AM
Which online dating site(s) were you on? Depending upon your area, some are more hook-up sites than others. I had great luck with OKCupid, but in other areas, I guess it is not the best place to find someone. Pay sites are usually better at weeding out the creeps than the free sites.

So, I guess my recommendation is to not give up on online dating yet. I totally understand the fear. I did not date for over ten years and I was SO scared to start. You just have to go for it.

Also, I'm not sure if you like to dance, but see if there are any contra dances in your area. Contra dancing is sort of like a mix between line and square dancing, but you dance with different partners within EACH dance. You definitely do not need to bring a partner and in fact, they discourage people from dancing with the same person more than once or twice in a night. It is a great way to socialize with all sorts of people of all ages. AND dances change so everyone is learning a dance at the same time, so if you are worried that you won't know what to do, no worries, as no one knows at the start (they do a walk through before the music starts for each dance). It is a lot of fun and a great way to meet people.

NJChick78
07-23-2013, 10:13 AM
Well don't give up on dating. It will sometimes be scary but push yourself to do it.

I met my husband 4 years ago via the internet. He knew up front that I was heavy. We talked on the phone for hours and hours at a time before we met. When it came time to meet I was scared but I did it.

Fast forward a couple years later and I told him I had been scared, especially when it came to being intimate and getting naked. He told me that most men are just thrilled that a woman would get intimate and naked with them and did not focus on the woman's flaws.

You are worthy of dating, you are worthy of having a good man that treats you right.

When you do find a guy: Set boundaries early that you will not permit name calling EVER. My husband and I do not call each other names when we argue, not even "jerk", its just not allowed and its great. Especially in this day and age where people refer to their SO as "a-hole" or "b!tch".


Aclai4067
07-23-2013, 08:12 PM
I don't have any advice, as I have yet to master dating issues myself. But I feel where you are coming from. I've also been single for quite some time and feel like I'm just waiting to be thin... which is such a long way off. OKcupid definitely seems to have a lot of guys looking for a hook up. I suppose it's possible to weed them all out and find a good one (my friend met her husband on OKC), but I've not actually dated anyone from there. I have a match account, but just the free one, which is kind of pointless. I think I just create the profiles because I feel like a SHOULD date. And I would like to meet someone, but when the time comes to be proactive about it, I chicken out.

NJChick78
07-23-2013, 08:27 PM
Okcupid is known for being just for hookups. Basically free sex. Harmony is good. Match is great.

Aclai4067
07-23-2013, 08:48 PM
I just checked my OKC and found I have a message that says "I'd like to play ur ear" I don't even know what that MEANS! lol

BreathingSpace
07-23-2013, 10:20 PM
I just checked my OKC and found I have a message that says "I'd like to play ur ear" I don't even know what that MEANS! lol

Well that's... cryptic LOL!!

Online dating - you could try it with the sole goal of just having fun on some dates, testing the waters, social interaction, etc. Keep your expectations low. I know nothing of OKC. It was match.com and lavalife.com during the time I did it. They just seemed like another thinly veiled "guys just wanting to hook up" type thing. You probably just have less of them to weed through due to these being pay sites.

sparklesgirl007
07-24-2013, 05:54 PM
Wow, thank you all for your responses, I feel a lot better to know I'm not alone here :)

I tried plenty of fish actually. I just couldn't do it, I always feel like the person might be a creep/serial killer/all of the above lol I know it's an awful way to think but I just don't trust the internet, especially when it comes to something like dating...

and can i just say I hate when people say they like me because they like "bigger girls" I would never message a guy and say i like them because of their size? it's just so weird.

Maybe if I get the courage one day, I'll go back and try it lol.

I also wanted to ask a question, someone who I did not meet online was interested in me a few months ago asked me a question after our 2nd date and it was regarding sex, and I had mentioned to him that I was a virgin, and his face was SO turned off, I mean it was very obvious. I didn't know what to do, felt really awkward. I told him It's not like I'm waiting until marriage or anything, I just haven't had a guy interested in so long to get to that pt!

Anyway, the date ended awkwardly and I never heard from him again after that night. and I'm too self conscious/scared to ask him why but part of me feels like if he was in anyway put off by that, maybe he just wasn't the right guy.

Is it really weird to be 26 and a virgin? I think my weight has been something that has me scared about that too. I dont think I'll ever wear a bikini, let alone let someone see me naked at this size!! but I have a lot of fears I can't get over =( can't tell if these are obvious to the people who see me.

oh boy sorry writing the novel again, but thank you all for the replies! I'm so happy I got the courage to join and ask my questions on here!! you guys are great!


I just checked my OKC and found I have a message that says "I'd like to play ur ear" I don't even know what that MEANS! lol

Literally burst out laughing reading this! I got a lot of weird messages that this on plenty of fish!

Aclai4067
07-24-2013, 07:08 PM
Some guys may be intimidated by the idea being with a virgin at our age. He may be worried that he's going to have to wait forever to get any, or that if he's your first he'll have this big responsibility to stay with you a long time or you might get super clingy. Basically, they're worried they'll have to ACTUALLY have a relationship. I say if that worries him, no sense in wasting time on him anyhow.

AwShucks
07-25-2013, 12:44 AM
I told him It's not like I'm waiting until marriage or anything, I just haven't had a guy interested in so long to get to that pt!

Honey, don't think of it that way! You've just been spared from having bad sexual experiences. No sex is better than lousy sex, heartache, and the misery of the aftermath. Consider yourself lucky and blessed to not have that kind of baggage to carry around at this point in your life. If you find "the guy" - what a gift you have to share with him! Something that will be his and yours alone.

Forget that loser. He didn't see you for the prize that you are.

sparklesgirl007
07-25-2013, 01:52 AM
Some guys may be intimidated by the idea being with a virgin at our age. He may be worried that he's going to have to wait forever to get any, or that if he's your first he'll have this big responsibility to stay with you a long time or you might get super clingy. Basically, they're worried they'll have to ACTUALLY have a relationship. I say if that worries him, no sense in wasting time on him anyhow.

I thought maybe that was it! I really felt awful though because he didn't seem like a guy who just wanted a one night stand. He has only been in long term relationships, well educated, nothing seemed shady, but who knows these days!

I felt like if I told a guy this, he should be less intimidated, I mean I have nothing to compare it to? lol Oh well....

Honey, don't think of it that way! You've just been spared from having bad sexual experiences. No sex is better than lousy sex, heartache, and the misery of the aftermath. Consider yourself lucky and blessed to not have that kind of baggage to carry around at this point in your life. If you find "the guy" - what a gift you have to share with him! Something that will be his and yours alone.

Forget that loser. He didn't see you for the prize that you are.

Aw thanks lady! this made me happy to read! I really don't know how I am supposed to feel! I have a lot of friends who have no problem with the one night stands, but i'm too afraid to ever do that, knowing my luck I would catch an std too, and besides all of that, I want to have a meaningful relationship!!

Also, ever since I had this weird reaction from that guy, I decided to not bring up this issue with my friends either (wanting a bf) they don't know that I haven't had sex (only two of my friends do) but I'm afraid to bring it up and have them judge me after this ridiculous guy just walked out out of the blue!

Sorry forgot to mention: the reason i was going to bring it up in the first place with my friends is because they will literally give me a guys number who I can "hook up" with (awful I know)

Blehh so many things running through my head recently since I started really thinking about things, I wish my weight didn't make me so conscious about issues like this!

MAK247
07-25-2013, 10:24 AM
I'm in the same, or at least a similar boat. I am very shy (social anxiety), especially with men, until I get to know someone. I've gotten better but it still takes me a bit to open up. I have been on dates but they usually end up horribly with me getting panicky and leaving abruptly to avoid any further embarrassment, therefore they never lead to more dates or a relationship. My friends have tried setting me up with people, and this is going to sound really judgmental of me, but it has hurt my feelings because of the type of guys (mental problems, drug problems, etc.) they have suggested. Really? Single does not equal desperate...The way I see it is I am used to being single and I take care of myself, if I meet someone then that's great, if I don't then I'm OK with that. I don't know why my friends don't see that, and it really kind of alienates me from them because in my head I feel they are talking to each other and other people about it which makes me feel like I'm being judged all the time just because I'm not in a relationship.

sparklesgirl007
07-25-2013, 01:34 PM
I'm in the same, or at least a similar boat. I am very shy (social anxiety), especially with men, until I get to know someone. I've gotten better but it still takes me a bit to open up. I have been on dates but they usually end up horribly with me getting panicky and leaving abruptly to avoid any further embarrassment, therefore they never lead to more dates or a relationship. My friends have tried setting me up with people, and this is going to sound really judgmental of me, but it has hurt my feelings because of the type of guys (mental problems, drug problems, etc.) they have suggested. Really? Single does not equal desperate...The way I see it is I am used to being single and I take care of myself, if I meet someone then that's great, if I don't then I'm OK with that. I don't know why my friends don't see that, and it really kind of alienates me from them because in my head I feel they are talking to each other and other people about it which makes me feel like I'm being judged all the time just because I'm not in a relationship.

This is the same way I look at it! I actually never had a problem being single until recently when I was trying to hang out with some friends for dinner and maybe some night on the town type stuff, and they all couldn't make it because they had date nights planned. It made me think of how I have been single all these years! But now it bugs me, but it shouldn't clearly somebody thinks I gotta wait for the right one to come along :)

I totally agree about the friend setting up thing!! I have had friends set me up with awful guys, and I mean like smell awful, no manners, they want to smoke or try to get me to, it's like really? If you know anything about me, you would know I wouldn't date those kinda guys.

I know they're trying to help but you're totally right, it does not mean I'm desperate!! I hope we meet "that guy" one day and I'll understand why nothing worked out sooner! lol

thank you all for your responses!!! can't tell you how much better I feel knowing I'm not alone on this!

Btw MAK congrats on your weightloss!!!! YOU ARE DOING AMAZING!! are you calorie counting?? I'd love to hear what you're doing!

PreciousMissy
07-25-2013, 05:52 PM
I was on Plenty of Fish years ago and had to throw them all back! I have had more than a couple of friends (3...3 is more than a couple) who have had success on Eharmony and Match. Two of them are married, the other is getting ready to move in.

In my opinion (and experience) guys using the free sites aren't committed to finding a relationship because they have to pay, and have to take the time to email per the site requirements, before you meet up.

Disclaimer: I don't want to pigeon hole the guys who are there honestly looking for a partner, I'm just relating what has been my experience :D

MAK247
07-25-2013, 09:20 PM
Btw MAK congrats on your weightloss!!!! YOU ARE DOING AMAZING!! are you calorie counting?? I'd love to hear what you're doing!

Thank you! You just made my day. :) I started out using Diet To Go which worked great because they did the calorie counting for me. It got to be too expensive for me so now I am calorie counting. I haven't really been exercising a whole lot other than hiking with my dogs once every week or two and mowing the lawn. I seem to still be losing weight despite doing it all on my own, so knock on wood that the trend continues. :)

KellinaKatrina
07-26-2013, 01:21 AM
Is it really weird to be 26 and a virgin? I think my weight has been something that has me scared about that too. I dont think I'll ever wear a bikini, let alone let someone see me naked at this size!! but I have a lot of fears I can't get over =( can't tell if these are obvious to the people who see me. !
I'm 28 and the only way I've found to decribe my experience in life is as "forever alone". I'm a virgin, never been kissed, no past relationships, and never been on a real date. As much as I'd like to blame this soley on my weight in the past, I know my situation is more closely related to my almost crippling anxiety about being intimate with someone which I'm sure has everything to do with being teased and bullied in school BUT I'm an independant woman who supports and takes care of myself and while I get sad sometimes, I'm content if this is how its meant to be.

Here's the kicker though and your thread has hit at the most perfect time...

Almost 2 months ago I went to visit a friend that had just moved 3 hours away. We went out dancing at a bar she goes to pretty often. I was introduced to a guy when we walked in that she knew just from going to the bar and later in the night we started dancing. Fast forward a month and he starts facebook messaging me and we ended up starting to text each other and he invited me to a party this weekend. I leave tomorrow after work and am scared out of my mind! I'm not scared to talk to him but I'm terrified for him to see me again. I'm trying to tell myself that he's seen my pics on facebook. He knows what I look like. He knows roughly what size I am (a size im damn proud of btw). But its no use and what terrifies me more is if we hit it off and the conversation turns to past relationships and experiences and I've got nothing. It honestly makes me feel like a freak!

And if all he's wanting is a hook up, that's not happening and he's not the one for me... I'm just really hoping that's not ALL he's about because we've seemed to hit it off.

Sorry for the rant and hijacking your thread. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

sparklesgirl007
07-26-2013, 03:17 AM
Thank you! You just made my day. :) I started out using Diet To Go which worked great because they did the calorie counting for me. It got to be too expensive for me so now I am calorie counting. I haven't really been exercising a whole lot other than hiking with my dogs once every week or two and mowing the lawn. I seem to still be losing weight despite doing it all on my own, so knock on wood that the trend continues. :)

That's awesome! I gotta look that up! Although that sucks that it's expensive =/ I hope it continues!! I just started back on a diet plan and i'm trying out a few things so we'll see where it goes. I wish things like ww were cheaper for people!!

I'm 28 and the only way I've found to decribe my experience in life is as "forever alone". I'm a virgin, never been kissed, no past relationships, and never been on a real date. As much as I'd like to blame this soley on my weight in the past, I know my situation is more closely related to my almost crippling anxiety about being intimate with someone which I'm sure has everything to do with being teased and bullied in school BUT I'm an independant woman who supports and takes care of myself and while I get sad sometimes, I'm content if this is how its meant to be.

Here's the kicker though and your thread has hit at the most perfect time...

Almost 2 months ago I went to visit a friend that had just moved 3 hours away. We went out dancing at a bar she goes to pretty often. I was introduced to a guy when we walked in that she knew just from going to the bar and later in the night we started dancing. Fast forward a month and he starts facebook messaging me and we ended up starting to text each other and he invited me to a party this weekend. I leave tomorrow after work and am scared out of my mind! I'm not scared to talk to him but I'm terrified for him to see me again. I'm trying to tell myself that he's seen my pics on facebook. He knows what I look like. He knows roughly what size I am (a size im damn proud of btw). But its no use and what terrifies me more is if we hit it off and the conversation turns to past relationships and experiences and I've got nothing. It honestly makes me feel like a freak!

And if all he's wanting is a hook up, that's not happening and he's not the one for me... I'm just really hoping that's not ALL he's about because we've seemed to hit it off.

Sorry for the rant and hijacking your thread. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

No need to be sorry! Hijack away! I'm so glad I'm not alone on this because I don't have one friend that I can really relate to about this stuff.

Girl you need to go to this party!! That's sound a great way to mingle! I know what you mean I'm a little traumatized by the whole past relationship thing, but trust me I ask for a lot of advice from the few guy friends i have and a lot of guys would rather you have less partners than a ton, so I don't think it could go too bad!

Unless of course, it's a hook up, but you wouldn't want that anyway. and don't be scared!! I know i know much easier for me to say, but he def knows what you look like, and after a month of meeting he messaged you so clearly he had been thinking about you!! Let us know how it goes!! and great job on your weightloss!!

Btw got a message today from POF, asking me what my 3b's were?? Anybody know what that is? I've been googling it now and then and all I get are gpa calculators! lol

KellinaKatrina
07-26-2013, 10:31 AM
Thanks hun! I'm actually really glad you posted. Its nice to vent this to someone who gets it rather than the "you have no reason to be nervous". Really? No reason, huh.

I have a bff that's almost 25 and is a virgin but she's at the top of the list of people who don't understand and we've never really talked about it before.

Aclai4067
07-26-2013, 07:22 PM
I'm 28 and the only way I've found to decribe my experience in life is as "forever alone". I'm a virgin, never been kissed, no past relationships, and never been on a real date. As much as I'd like to blame this soley on my weight in the past, I know my situation is more closely related to my almost crippling anxiety about being intimate with someone which I'm sure has everything to do with being teased and bullied in school BUT I'm an independant woman who supports and takes care of myself and while I get sad sometimes, I'm content if this is how its meant to be.

Here's the kicker though and your thread has hit at the most perfect time...

Almost 2 months ago I went to visit a friend that had just moved 3 hours away. We went out dancing at a bar she goes to pretty often. I was introduced to a guy when we walked in that she knew just from going to the bar and later in the night we started dancing. Fast forward a month and he starts facebook messaging me and we ended up starting to text each other and he invited me to a party this weekend. I leave tomorrow after work and am scared out of my mind! I'm not scared to talk to him but I'm terrified for him to see me again. I'm trying to tell myself that he's seen my pics on facebook. He knows what I look like. He knows roughly what size I am (a size im damn proud of btw). But its no use and what terrifies me more is if we hit it off and the conversation turns to past relationships and experiences and I've got nothing. It honestly makes me feel like a freak!

And if all he's wanting is a hook up, that's not happening and he's not the one for me... I'm just really hoping that's not ALL he's about because we've seemed to hit it off.

Sorry for the rant and hijacking your thread. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.


In the event that past relationships come up (which it very well may not) you can always dodge it with something like "there hasn't been anyone significant." I definitely think you should go and give it a shot. As nerve wracking as it can be to push yourself into a social situation, I hate the "what if" feeling of skipping it more.


Btw got a message today from POF, asking me what my 3b's were?? Anybody know what that is? I've been googling it now and then and all I get are gpa calculators! lol

I googled "dating sites-3b"... got a bunch of BBQ sauce sites and one that said Brains/Body/Beauty. That sounded plausible, except the question doesn't entirely make sense with that. But it wouldn't be the first time a guy on one of those sites was completely incoherent.

sparklesgirl007
07-26-2013, 09:39 PM
Thanks hun! I'm actually really glad you posted. Its nice to vent this to someone who gets it rather than the "you have no reason to be nervous". Really? No reason, huh.

I have a bff that's almost 25 and is a virgin but she's at the top of the list of people who don't understand and we've never really talked about it before.

Same here lady! My bff doesn't even know I'm a virgin!! So it's kinda awkward when she starts telling me about all the guys she hooks up with! All I think about is how unsafe it must be, but it's completely different for her.

Did you go to the party or is it tonight?! Come and let us know what happened! I went to foreign exchange today and managed to squeeze myself into a small!! crazy! haven't seen that little S in a looooong time lol

Hope you have/had a fantastic time at this party!!

In the event that past relationships come up (which it very well may not) you can always dodge it with something like "there hasn't been anyone significant." I definitely think you should go and give it a shot. As nerve wracking as it can be to push yourself into a social situation, I hate the "what if" feeling of skipping it more.



I googled "dating sites-3b"... got a bunch of BBQ sauce sites and one that said Brains/Body/Beauty. That sounded plausible, except the question doesn't entirely make sense with that. But it wouldn't be the first time a guy on one of those sites was completely incoherent.

I totally agree about the "what if" situation. There have been so many things in my life that i have not done due to my weight when i shouldn't have. Good thing now I know better!!

Ugh so I messaged that guy, and he replied back with this " wtf serious? boobs, belly, butt, i need digits girl"....yeah i give up on online dating. maybe one day when i build up the courage and have enough $$ I'll pay for eharmony lol

amandie
07-26-2013, 10:08 PM
OMG! Eff that dude with the 3Bs. Sorry that happened! One day for sure! :hug:

AwShucks
07-26-2013, 10:15 PM
Ugh so I messaged that guy, and he replied back with this " wtf serious? boobs, belly, butt, i need digits girl"....yeah i give up on online dating. maybe one day when i build up the courage and have enough $$ I'll pay for eharmony lol

Oh my gosh! I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm so glad I'm 20 years older than you girls. Men my age can be aggravating, but I don't know what I'd do if a guy asked me that! I've heard some weird/crude comments, but that takes the cake. Yeah... like you would want to date a guy like that... :dizzy:

It's a big world, girls. Keep looking for the one that YOU want -- Mr. Dreamy! Don't settle for less. Repeat -- Do. not. settle.

hhm6
07-26-2013, 10:45 PM
I've heard of the "3bs" before but only in chat rooms when those existed...

I agree with your girls though, I've been single for a LONG TIME and it sucks, and the guys i run into aren't that great either :( what's a girl to do!

KellinaKatrina
07-28-2013, 03:55 PM
Update: I went up for the weekend to go to this party. The friends I was staying with took it upon themselves to change up the plans and I ended up watching 2 games of beer pong with guys they had invited and then detoured to a bar out of the way and not in the plans so the party was over by the time we made it to the bar near his house. Drunk and irritated, I found my guts and tracked down his roommate at the bar and asked where he was. Found him, said sorry for flaking, and danced the better part of 2 hours with him.

I really need to work on a visit that is just me and him sober. I think the best part for me though is I could tell he thought I looked hot. :)

StrangeJourney
07-28-2013, 04:25 PM
I share your hesitation about online dating! I tried it once and it led to me settling for someone out of loneliness and trying to get over someone else. Let's chalk that one up as a learning experience. But I do have a friend that met her fiance online.

I don't know if anyone has suggested this, but do you have any hobbies at all? I've found that I've met really cool people ( not just guys) just doing things that I'm into. Meet ups, art classes, music stores, etc etc.

I agree with what someone earlier said about no sex being better than risky or lousy sex. There are ways around needing a partner but once you find one you aren't really into, they can be hard to get rid of! That sounds so mean. But you know.

Dating is scary at any age, any time! Don't worry about posting so much, I hope posting about it helps!

Aclai4067
07-28-2013, 09:48 PM
I really need to work on a visit that is just me and him sober. I think the best part for me though is I could tell he thought I looked hot. :)

Woot! :carrot:

sparklesgirl007
07-30-2013, 01:08 AM
Update: I went up for the weekend to go to this party. The friends I was staying with took it upon themselves to change up the plans and I ended up watching 2 games of beer pong with guys they had invited and then detoured to a bar out of the way and not in the plans so the party was over by the time we made it to the bar near his house. Drunk and irritated, I found my guts and tracked down his roommate at the bar and asked where he was. Found him, said sorry for flaking, and danced the better part of 2 hours with him.

I really need to work on a visit that is just me and him sober. I think the best part for me though is I could tell he thought I looked hot. :)

Oh man don't you hate when people change plans without telling you?! Have had that happen numerous times! I'm glad you got to see him AND DANCE!!! That's sounds awesome!!

yes I think a sober date would be amazing and you could get to know each other better :) Look at you lady!! So happy for you!

I actually met up with a friend today and ended up spilling everything to her that i had bottled up inside and it felt great! She has had a lot of bf but is now single and she said it's better to have no bf than to start looking and finding one just of loneliness, it made me feel a lot better, just thought I would share that!

StrangeJourney: thank you for the advice :) I do have many hobbies unfortunately it consists of many many girls haha (makeup shopping etc) but I do think i need to get out and be more fit when it comes to outdoor activities maybe like hiking? Time to give it a shot I think!

KellinaKatrina
08-09-2013, 12:18 AM
yes I think a sober date would be amazing and you could get to know each other better :) Look at you lady!! So happy for you!
Thanks!

So quick update! First date is Saturday. Not only first date with him, first date EVER! I'm only mildly freaking out at the moment. I'm sure full blown meltdown will happen in the car driving tomorrow night.

I don't know who this girl is that I'm becomming but I really want to like her and stay brave. It's really hard pushing back the insecurities and memories of how previous attempts at putting myself out there went horribly wrong and I feel like I'm scarred from how hurtful they were.

I'm a big brave dog, I'm a big brave dog... (Chuckie Finster--Rugrats)

Aclai4067
08-10-2013, 12:01 AM
Yay, that's so exciting! Don't psych yourself out. Have fun on your date!

Do you know where y'all are going yet?

KellinaKatrina
08-10-2013, 07:19 AM
Yay, that's so exciting! Don't psych yourself out. Have fun on your date!

Do you know where y'all are going yet?

Dollywood (local amusement park) and I'm so excited for that because I'll be in my element. Lo e it there and have been several times.

Also, the nerves hace definately set in. Trying to calm down.

sparklesgirl007
08-10-2013, 11:31 PM
That's awesome!!! So you guys are totally hitting it off yayy! That place, dollywood sounds adorable!! So quick question for you guys, when a girl and guy are dating when do you know when it becomes gf/bf?? is that a question that the boy asks?? I'm just curious since my friend told me her now boyfriend had asked her before when they were dating. I initially thought things would just lead up to that and you would know?

So a guy today walked into sephora and I thought he was gay (pretty judgmental of me I know!) but rarely do I see a guy in sephora unless he's with a girl but anyway he gave me his number and said I have beautiful eyes!!! ahh what an ego boost.

Lol, I don't think I'm calling but it felt nice! I'm such a loser hahaha

KellinaKatrina
08-11-2013, 12:33 PM
That's so exciting! Its always flattering when you get a compliment like that.

We had fun but I have no idea how to even sort all my thoughts and my lack of experience with dating etc is eating at me. He had brought up his past relationships but then we miracle-y run into a couple he knew and it derailed that conversation. He text me first after the date ended which made me feel better. I'm planning on asking him to go to dinner if I can manage the drive next weekend and I'm going to lay it all out there. Its not fair to him to notnlet him know and its not fair to me to try to make it work if he's not ok with everything. I'm going to need quite the courage to get through that conversation.