Weight Loss Support - What to do when you've tried every diet and never stick to it? Fresh start?




hughs dad
07-19-2013, 12:35 PM
Hi guys,

This is kind of an intro but I'm realtively new here. Not so much in time, but in participation. Here is my question. I've tried it all.. sommersize, atkins, south beach, weight watchers, paleo, etc.. My deal is I stick to them for about a day, then night comes, I'm starving, and I cave.

Everyday I wake up I say "this is the day" and sometimes I'm eating Mcd's 20 minutes later and others I eat great all day, but there is ALWAYS that time of day where I either say "screw it" or "I deserve a little something extra" or "well, you haven't followed the program exactly so you've technically cheated anyway so go ahead and have what you want", insert whatever excuse you'd like.

My story is I am very active. Play golf 3 times per week, ride my bike, lift weights, and walk. Here's the problem. There is no exercise plan that I can't eat through. Meaning, if I burn 1,000 caloeries excersisin, I'll eat 1,100 extra. I feel like I'm stuck in place. Running fast and trying hard, but goinng nowhere.

My mind is so clouded by all of the different ideas. One minute I'm going to do the sommersize program and give up caffene and the other I'm going no carb, then the other I'm just going to count my calories, then the other I'm going to start juicing.. talk, talk, talk, talk, and no action.

So, if anyone can relate to this I'd love to hear what you did to start. I can't even make it a day, let alone a week.

Thanks to everyone in advance.

HD


Andrea85
07-19-2013, 01:11 PM
Honestly, I can't do a diet. I just can't. Restrictions lead to those thoughts of "but I deserve xyz....I'm gonna do it!".

I started by getting the book "Eat this, not that". It was a very simple approach to how to choose healthier options at all the places I would go. I used to think "if I'm paying for this, I want it to be exactly what I'm craving". I had to change that mindset! It was still up to me to choose items for health rather than for taste (but honestly, the healthy options were STILL delicious, just maybe not quite what I was craving). But that book really helped me learn how to eat healthier when I went out. That then turned into cooking healthier for myself.

With this mindset and daily exercise, I lost 35 lbs in 6 months! I've kept it off for 5 years and am hopefully on my way to my goal weight. While I've been off and on with regards to how vigilant I've been, most of my good habits stayed with me, I think because it was a slow and steady process.

bethFromDayton
07-19-2013, 01:23 PM
I can relate to the "determined--and it lasts a day" experience.

I've found real support and guidance from the Beck Diet Solution: How to Think like a thin person by Judith Beck. It is not a diet book as much as it's a "learn how to diet" book. (Her next book, The Beck Diet for Life, does contain an eating plan.) It's a cognitive behavior therapy approach to weight loss. I highly recommend the book. Many people on the Beck forum found it in their library and read it--and then bought their own copy.

A large part of Dr Beck's approach is that we all have sabatoging thoughts--but that we can learn to overcome them and change them.

I also have found that this on-line support group is incredibly helpful. Knowing that I post every day, knowing that people will notice if I disappear, that people will offer advice if I'm struggling, and cheer for me when I'm successful--that has really kept me on track.

About 2.5 months in, I had a real "setback" weekend. BUT, I went ahead and posted Sunday night, because I was committed to doing that, and got right back on track. Knowing that I had "coaches" to return to kept me going.

I wish you all the luck in the world.


krampus
07-19-2013, 01:37 PM
Sometimes less is more. As in less restrictions on what you can and can't eat. If you really internalize "I can eat whatever I want" you probably won't be at McD's because do you REALLY WANT THAT over all other options?

http://www.alphamalefts.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/YOU-LACK-discipline-300x298.jpg

^^^ Not always the best approach!

Also following someone else's rules is like trying to treat PTSD with Xanax - for it to really work it's important to make your own rules and be flexible about them, based on what suits you best.

laciemn
07-19-2013, 03:47 PM
I thought about this the other day when I felt discouraged. I thought to myself, "This time, I'm going to do it." Then, my negative thoughts crept in...how many times have I said, "this time it's for real?" So...I thought about it. Success often comes with a history of failures. At some point, if we are going to reach our goals, one of these "I'm going to do it this time," will have to hold true. Why not this time?

hughs dad
07-19-2013, 04:44 PM
Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it. I'm going to check out both book suggestions.

JohnP
07-19-2013, 05:26 PM
If you're hungry at night you should consider calorie counting while intermittent fasting.

First meal at noon, last at 9 or 10. Adjust as needed.

You don't have to give up McDonald's you just ave to fit it into your calories.

Buffinlovin
07-19-2013, 05:54 PM
If you're hungry at night you should consider calorie counting while intermittent fasting.

First meal at noon, last at 9 or 10. Adjust as needed.

You don't have to give up McDonald's you just ave to fit it into your calories.

I second this. I generally wake up and will have water or coffee, then be fine until about 4-5pm where I'll have my first "meal". I will usually do another meal at around 10-11pm (I'm a night owl), and then a few low calorie snacks in between those and maybe once after my last meal. This allows me to keep my calorie limit higher for my larger meals (generally about 400 calories each), and my snacks range from 80 calories to 110 calories.

I'm only on a 1200 calorie day, so you might be able to adjust that even more. You can eat things that you enjoy, it's just knowing how much of it you can eat. It's not easy to start, and calorie counting can seem tedious, but as you get a few things that you eat regularly it gets a lot easier and it can help you learn how to portion control without needing to count.

Slush
07-19-2013, 06:10 PM
What's worked for me so far is not buying any of the bad stuff I know I can't control myself around. Sure, I've splurged, but it's ok. It's a learning process. I use to think it would be hard because my other two family member bring junk into the house all the time, but as long as I know it's theirs and not mine, I don't eat it. (Except for this morning as I had 3 pieces of my brother's cheese, but it was 3 pieces vs. my usual half a brick.) It really is a marathon and not a sprint and it's not a test you have to pass the first time. I am keeping those things in mind, otherwise I would give up too. I can't change who I am in one day or even one year. I've been this way for 21 years, so it's going to take a long time to become the person I want to be, but that is my incentive to keep working at it. :)

olehcat
07-19-2013, 08:33 PM
I completely sympathize and I'm struggling with this as well!

I really like what others have said. You've got to make up your own rules. Fewer restrictions, fewer temptations to "cheat." But I can hardly give advice right now, I'm still trying to figure it out myself! :)

freelancemomma
07-20-2013, 11:41 AM
The first week or two of a weight-loss regimen are always the hardest. You can set things up to make things easier (e.g., clearing your house of junk food, choosing a relatively unstressful time to begin, lining up substitute activities for when you crave food), but there's no getting around the fact that you'll experience some discomfort in the early stages. It may help if you mentally prepare for the discomfort, so it doesn't take you by surprise and cause you to "cave."

Freelance

Terra1984
07-20-2013, 01:20 PM
Like the title says Im tried dieting many many times before and never stuck with it even being told by my grandpa that he would take me and my grandma to Corpus Christi Texas if we lost 50 pounds and not even that worked, Let me tell you I really wanted to go but like I said that didnt even work, I guess the other attempts to lose weight failed cause I wasnt 100% ready and now I am, I've been dieting and working out since May and I've lost 3 pounds so far so it is working and thats another reason why Im sticking with it this time around, Good luck to everyone that is having trouble.

Sheena82
07-20-2013, 01:48 PM
I use visualisation to help me focus. Imagine what you will look like at your goal weight, really focus, see your shape, the clothes you will wear, how you will feel etc etc, all the good stuff. I do this lying in my bed before i go to sleep and when i wake up. Sounds silly but it does help.

I have eaten stuff that isn't going to be good for me but what i've learned is damage limitation, so what if you eat 500 calories of something you didnt feel you were supposed to, you may have another 1000 calories for the rest of the day, just adjust, no point in losing a day right? Cut down portions for dinner or shave some calories off the next day. I find that the more i label foods as bad the more likely i will crave them.

Theres no such thing as all or nothing, it apparently takes 48hours for your body to create fat (may have been 24 cant remember but something like that) so thats a whole bunch of hours where you can pull back.

For the record i just ate a chocolate cheesecake, it was LOVELY, i haven't given up on my diet but i have managed to fit it into my daily calories. Also if you want something like macdonalds, choose what you are going to have in advance check the calories, note it down and include it in your diary. If its something at home like cheese, pick a serving size, measure it,put it on a plate and enjoy it.

aspen13
07-20-2013, 04:35 PM
Honestly, I can't do a diet.

This!!

In the past I tried Slim-Fast, Atkins, and Nutri System, plus a hodge podge of others. All fails. What has changed is now I am not dieting. I am eating real food and can carry-on with this for the rest of my life. I bought a Fitbit and I log every food, drink, and exercise. I know exactly my calories in and out. I walk or jog 8 to 15 miles per day and weight train on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Now once at goal, I will be able to lighten up exercise a lot. I will walk for 30 to 60 mins then. I eat healthy, watch my portion sizes, nothing is off limits...but treats or just that, treats, used very sparingly. I give myself permission to have one ice cream cup or bar, a Kashi dark chocolate chip cookie, a single serve bag of Popchips, or a small snowcone every day. Often times I will skip it, I know that I am allowed to have it and do not feel a pull to have it every day.

Personally, I feel diets are very easy to fail. To me they are not real life. I also found the *foods* mostly unappetizing. Raw vegetables, steamed vegetables, fresh fruit, chicken, all types of fish, pork chops, sweet potatoes, etc that all sounds appetizing. Actually this is making me crave a grapefruit right now. I guess I will make sure that I have one with my breakfast tomorrow, if I am still craving one.

I am on day 46, have lost 11.8 lbs (that includes a plateau I just broke through - And broke it by taking in more calories), and I am feeling SO much better. I KNOW without a doubt that I WILL NOT fail this time. I can feed my teenage son what I am eating, I can feed my elderly parents what I am eating. We all feel healthier and more alive. I NEVER felt this way on a diet. Honestly I felt better when I was eating huge portions and too much junk food then when I was on diet food. Not sure what happened this time. Not sure how it all clicked but it clicked and I am so thankful.

Munchy
07-22-2013, 09:22 AM
The first week or two of a weight-loss regimen are always the hardest. You can set things up to make things easier (e.g., clearing your house of junk food, choosing a relatively unstressful time to begin, lining up substitute activities for when you crave food), but there's no getting around the fact that you'll experience some discomfort in the early stages. It may help if you mentally prepare for the discomfort, so it doesn't take you by surprise and cause you to "cave."

Freelance

Absolutely!

Another thought is if you're really hungry, you can look into volumetric eating plans. A lot of us do this anyway without the fancy name, but it basically involves bulking up your meals with non starchy vegetables. Not only is it good for you, but it is visually and physically filling without adding a lot of calories.

For example, I won't avoid burgers, but when I'm making them, I shred zucchini, squash, or mushrooms into them. When I make chili, I probably bulk it up with 2/3 veggies (celery, peppers, squash, zucchini) in with my meat and beans. If I make macaroni and cheese, I'll make it with half cauliflower or broccoli instead of pasta. At some point you may even reach a tipping point where you don't need the pasta at all - I often eat thinly sliced zucchini or green beans with tomato sauce and Parmesan instead of noodles.

I try to visualize that all of my meals should be 50% non-starchy vegetables. That doesn't necessarily mean that your plate should look like half vegetables, but if you create your dishes with that in mind, it helps.