General chatter - my rant!




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amfay11
07-19-2013, 04:07 AM
Please hear me out before passing on any pearls of wisdom...

First of all i know processed, and foods containing any GMOs are BAD

I KNOW THIS!!!

but please PLEASE dont tell me that my baby will DIE from eating formula for the first 6 months of her life from CANCER... :?:
who does this? the couple of foodie, green-living females i know on fb...
I told them both my kids were/are formula fed, because i am doing what i have to do to feed my kids... i have a 5 year old daughter who is intelligent, happy, beautiful and healthy! She eats regular foods, and eats a variety... also loves chocolate milk lol

My youngest daughter is 4 months. She is a babbling, rolling, teething, smiley, beautiful, healthy,thing! she eats formula and also cereal...

They both have regular check-ups and are doing JUST fine, so why should society make me feel bad for the choices ive made as a mother?

sorry, they just made me so angry, and hurt and i dont know why i let em get to me...

Thanks for reading

~hugs


SuperHeroTeacher
07-19-2013, 04:16 AM
My formula fed daughter taught herself to read at the ripe old age of 3, is now 16 years old and #1 in her class of over 500 students. She's a star athlete in 3 sports, shes the best flute player in band, and healthier than 99% of people I know.

Breast feeding isn't for everyone, for various reasons (sometimes it isn't a choice). I wish women could just support each other instead of knocking each other down.

Saying that feeding your baby formula is going to give him or her cancer is just ignorant.

amfay11
07-19-2013, 04:24 AM
Thank i appreciate that very much! And yes, i did breast-feed both my girls for awhile, but my oldest was a 31 weeker, had a 7 week NICU stay... married to a horrid man at the time...

My second was a 35 weeker, 4 week NICU stay and her daddy is the best man ever, and much more of a daddy to my oldest than her REAL daddy...

But my bp, stress, anxiety and ppd were all factors in my milk supply diminishing quickly...
I did try and did well for the time i HAD milk...

it should be a womans choice how she feeds her babies!

Thanks again!


kaplods
07-19-2013, 04:25 AM
There's actually no proof that GMOs are "bad," their biggest "danger" is that we don't as much about them as as we probably should. The same could be argued about the food additives in processed foods.

Remember that society is not trying to make you feel bad, only a few self-righteous, arrogant and ignorant food zealots. They are twisting and warping the actual facts in order to attack yo so they can feel good and justify their own choices.

If a person has to believe that formula causes cancer in order to breastfeed, or feels the need to attack and fearmonger to those who make a different choice, they can't be very confident in their own decision.

nelie
07-19-2013, 06:02 AM
I'm going to go with there is no proof that GMOs are bad. I'm cautious regarding GMOs and I think that the agricultural issues are larger than the human consumption issues. Also, most of the GMO soy isn't even eaten by humans. (I'm guessing the formula is soy based?)

Zeitgeist
07-19-2013, 06:32 AM
Defriend them. Or, at the very least, change your settings so they can not see what you post. You are obviously in a different life-stage than they are and their fanatical view of childrearing is causing you needless stress.

GlamourGirl827
07-19-2013, 06:44 AM
Please hear me out before passing on any pearls of wisdom...

First of all i know processed, and foods containing any GMOs are BAD

I KNOW THIS!!!

but please PLEASE dont tell me that my baby will DIE from eating formula for the first 6 months of her life from CANCER... :?:
who does this? the couple of foodie, green-living females i know on fb...
I told them both my kids were/are formula fed, because i am doing what i have to do to feed my kids... i have a 5 year old daughter who is intelligent, happy, beautiful and healthy! She eats regular foods, and eats a variety... also loves chocolate milk lol

My youngest daughter is 4 months. She is a babbling, rolling, teething, smiley, beautiful, healthy,thing! she eats formula and also cereal...

They both have regular check-ups and are doing JUST fine, so why should society make me feel bad for the choices ive made as a mother?

sorry, they just made me so angry, and hurt and i dont know why i let em get to me...

Thanks for reading

~hugs

:hug::hug::hug:

Reading your post after 5 hours of crumby pregnancy sleep seriously got me emotional that there are such horrible, self righteous mothers out there, saying such hurtful UNtrue things to other moms.

There is nothing nothing nothing wrong with formula feeding. I have two boys, one is almost 6, and the other is 3.

My older one was formula fed, and let me tell you, he is light years ahead of my 3 year old that was BF. I mean neither of my little guys are fools ;) but my older son had perfectly clear speech at 2 years old. He has been reading since about 2 1/2. He tests as highly gifted, way beyond his age level. He is going into 1st grade next year, but as of last year was doing readin and math on a 4th grade level. He is also in the 95% for height and weight. Absolutely perfect, tall, lean build, not skinny, and no extra chunk.

My 3 year old is typical. He turned 3 a few months ago, and his speech is still hard to understand. We work with him regarding, but its so strange considering our first son was speaking in clear full sentences at 2. Our 3 year old the BF one is also very small, to the point that we have a doctors appt next week to discuss this with the doctors and ask for some labs to make sure nothing is wrong. He is in the 10% for height and 3% for weight. He's energetic and eats well, but with me being 5'6" and hubby being 6'4" we are wondering why he is so small.

Anyway, my second son does have his strengths (he was a better sleeper and is more laid back, better listener). But my point is that physically speaking, my older son is probably what breastfeeding ****'s want you to believe is not possible with formula feeding.

By the way for this one I plan to BF until about 6 weeks to get my supple up, then pump and supplement with formula as needed. But no pressure on myself, and I will do what works best.


I'm so sorry that someone said such awful things to you. :( It just amazes me with the parents out there that are beating their kids, the are having crack addicted babies, that are leaving their kids unattended at home to go to the bar, and all the other horrible things we read about, that anyone would knock a good mother for formula feeding.

CanadianMomma
07-19-2013, 07:28 AM
It doesn't matter what you do, there will always be someone there to tell you you aren't taking proper care of your child. I honestly think this usually comes from that person's own insecurities. I choose to breastfeed, partly because I think formula is too much work and too expensive haha.

But I had lots of discussions with my mother about it, she breastfeed all four of her children. Back when she had us she lived in Newfoundland where the norm was to feed infants carnation milk, not even formula. When she visited her in-laws and they saw that she was nursing her mother in-law made comments about how there was no way the baby was getting enough and she was starving the child.

There is no 'right' and no 'wrong' and there will always be someone to tell you that your right is their wrong. You just have to do what works for you.

amfay11
07-19-2013, 08:01 AM
thanks girls, this is why i LOVE this site... so much support!
And for poster above who asked about soy formula, no it isnt soy... its just what her pedi prescribed. :)

krampus
07-19-2013, 10:44 AM
Fools, probably half the posters on 3FC are formula fed and are ADULTS therefore not dead of cancer at 6 months...

NJChick78
07-19-2013, 12:56 PM
Oh gosh, all the stuff in air today can cause cancer too. Oh and the water and detergents and fabrics. Don't let your baby breathe or touch water. Oh and no clothes either.

Vex
07-21-2013, 02:27 PM
That's pretty ridiculous. Some mothers CAN'T breast feed. My son was born at 25 weeks, so the chance of breastfeeding was pretty much 0. What about adoptive parents? Yeah, no breastfeeding there.

Sounds like a defriend button is in order for people who can't look at things objectively and just have to make you feel terrible.

GlamourGirl827
07-21-2013, 04:15 PM
Ironically, I just signed on to facebook to find one of my "Friends" someone I met through a "friend" (again not a real friend) and that works where I used to and we have a lot of mutual friends, andyway she just had a baby, and posted a thing about extended breastfeeding, including the claim it lowers cancer rates, and raises IQ. Now aside from wanting to cyber punch her for doing what I can't stand on facebook, using it as a platform to state your opinion but not have to deal with feedback if you don't want to, I thought I'd come here and say that I find those types of post obnoxious.

I find it particularly obnoxious because she has made other lifestyle choices (and I will leave it at that so as not to inadvertantly offend anyone here) that I feel and have been shown to negatively affect children in the long run. And her older kids are not healthy, at all. Like really she has no business preaching about what's healthy for kids on facebook. I think she's kind of irresponsible in many ways and it shows, and it just pissed me off that now she's going to be one of those moms, that posts that crap because she's BFing right now and so proud she's doing something "right". And I quote "right" because thats the attitude some of these women get...and may I remind you I BF my second, but I still cant stand that righteous BFing mom.

Anyway, she didnt insult formula feeding moms, so I'm trying not to get all huffy over it. I just find it annoying when people have several things that they are doing that are so obviously screwing up their kids, so they pick the one thing that they are proud of, and start getting all preachy about it....I just want to be like, yeah we get it, you're going to BF until your kid is 12, but how about you stop doing XYZ because your kid's health IS suffering from that!!!

Tuscany
07-21-2013, 04:56 PM
I breast-fed my daughter for 2 weeks, following which I had to go back to work and she was formula fed thereafter. She is now 32 years old. She has a law degree, a Master's degree, and is currently doing her PhD at Oxford University. She's also very healthy and health-conscious. Clearly she got off to a bad start and being formula-fed has haunted her ever since! :dizzy:

In your shoes, I would just ignore the idiots on facebook. I feel sorry for the type of values their children are likely to be raised with.

GlamourGirl827
07-21-2013, 05:07 PM
I breast-fed my daughter for 2 weeks, following which I had to go back to work and she was formula fed thereafter. She is now 32 years old. She has a law degree, a Master's degree, and is currently doing her PhD at Oxford University. She's also very healthy and health-conscious. Clearly she got off to a bad start and being formula-fed has haunted her ever since! :dizzy:

.

:lol:

In my opinion, I think mothers that feel the need to shout their parenting choices like BFing from a mountain top (or facebook) are doing so because they are insecure in their other choices, or maybe how their other kids are turning out...

I've met this women's older children, and the apple has not fallen far from the tree, they are very nice but not too bright, the whole family. Oxford is absolutely not in their future ;) , and sadly enough probably not even college. I think that type of insecurity on the mom's part becomes like "look look I'm making better choices for my kids than you because I'm going to BF them."

I think normal mother's that don't need to prove anything just do it if they want and don't spent the rest of their kids life thinking every accomplishment is due to breast milk. IDK if you read all the posts, but my first reply I explained the difference between my first and second son, #1 was FF and #2 was BF. And actually my first son is highly gifted (I forget the exact range, I think it was label superior, IQ of almost 140), and my second son, while no dumby, is more average.

But anyway, I think it comes down to insecure mothers that feel the need to preach BFing, rather than just doing it and going about their day.

Wannabeskinny
07-21-2013, 06:10 PM
As someone who chose to breastfeed until LO self weaned, it's upsetting to hear someone who supposedly supports bf threaten such ridiculous consequences for formula feeding. It's absurd. I always was I awe of my friends who formula fed with all the hard work they had to put into feeding their children and respect them immensely for it. It's the harder option what with cleaning, sterilizing, going down to the kitchen in the middle of the night while baby is screaming, lugging around bottles and formula while out and about, it's work! Not to mention the cost! The truth is that people who breastfeed should be supportive of all mothers no matter how they feed their babies. If there's anyone to preach to it should be the doctors and nurses who give very very very very bad advice regarding BF. In fact everyone I know who took advice from a doctor or a nurse actually gave up BF within a month. They load you up with firmula samplesbat the hospital, advise you to supplement with formula and b
Bfeed on a schedule and that pretty much guarantees that your milk supply will lessen. In fact I cringe when I hear women say that they dried up or that they didn't have enough milk because except for a very few rare cases all women are capable of BF. But I would never blame a woman for thinking that if that's the only advice she's gotten from a doc.

Likewise there is lots of prejudice on the other side of this don't forget. I can't yell you how many people accused me of starving my baby, of doing something indecent, of being asked to nurse in the bathroom, and of being laughed at for coddling my son. I wish everyone would respect parenting choices and if anyone has a problem with formula feeding take it up with the real culprits: the medical community.

GlamourGirl827
07-21-2013, 06:38 PM
As someone who chose to breastfeed until LO self weaned, it's upsetting to hear someone who supposedly supports bf threaten such ridiculous consequences for formula feeding. It's absurd. I always was I awe of my friends who formula fed with all the hard work they had to put into feeding their children and respect them immensely for it. It's the harder option what with cleaning, sterilizing, going down to the kitchen in the middle of the night while baby is screaming, lugging around bottles and formula while out and about, it's work! Not to mention the cost! The truth is that people who breastfeed should be supportive of all mothers no matter how they feed their babies. If there's anyone to preach to it should be the doctors and nurses who give very very very very bad advice regarding BF. In fact everyone I know who took advice from a doctor or a nurse actually gave up BF within a month. They load you up with firmula samplesbat the hospital, advise you to supplement with formula and b
Bfeed on a schedule and that pretty much guarantees that your milk supply will lessen. In fact I cringe when I hear women say that they dried up or that they didn't have enough milk because except for a very few rare cases all women are capable of BF. But I would never blame a woman for thinking that if that's the only advice she's gotten from a doc.

Likewise there is lots of prejudice on the other side of this don't forget. I can't yell you how many people accused me of starving my baby, of doing something indecent, of being asked to nurse in the bathroom, and of being laughed at for coddling my son. I wish everyone would respect parenting choices and if anyone has a problem with formula feeding take it up with the real culprits: the medical community.

I completely agree that there should be more public support for breastfeeding, like the example you gave of going to the bathroom to breastfeed. I think its disgusting to expect a mother to sit on a closed toilet, smelling other people sh!t, literally, while she BF. I wouldn't do it while BFing, and I think people need to get over seeing a breast. I've felt this way even before I was pregnant with baby #1. Also I think if a mother chooses to do extended breastfeed, that as much as she is not entitled to preach to mothers that don't breastfeed past the one year mark, I do not feel others are entitled to comment on her choice either. The sooner people stop trying to push their personal choices (BF, not BF, co-sleeping, crib sleeping whatever) on each other, the happier we will all be.

Seeing as you are in NYC, I would expect your hospitals all have lactation consultants. I know all of ours do, and when a mother says she is BF, an appointment is automatically set up. I'm not sure why anyone you know that was commited to BF was not meeting with a lactation consultant while in the hospital? Its odd that you are just getting fly by night advice from staff randomly, but even so...

I also think you are overly generalizing, as I've gotten plenty of accurate advice regarding BFing from the nurses and OB when I was in having my kids, and I still met with the lactation consultant. I have never been advised to BF on a schedule or given formula without asking or told to supplement *unnecessarily*. Actually *I* asked for formula my first night in the hospital with baby #2, because my milk had not come in and I was raw from "feeding" him and he was still not satisfied. He took a little bit, went to sleep, I got some sleep and guess what?? I exclusively BF him from there on out. You have what, one kid? So you've only done this once. The nurses that see 1000s of women going through it know that in the beginning at the hospital that its not the end of the world to use a little formula after attempting to BF because sometimes its helpful until milk comes in. I was advised this with my first and actually did not use formula in the hospital, but did seveal weeks later for other reasons. The point I'm making is maybe with your one kid you didn't need to supplement at all in the hospital, but some women do and it doesnt affect their BF, and I wouldnt expect you to know that, but an experienced nurse would.

The fact that you take your small experience and generalize it to all doctors and nurses is ridiculous, but expected. Most people lump us all into one group when they want someone to blame, you are by no means the first! I'm not sure what the medical community has to do with FF, as its a mother's choice. But I guess that's your opinion after one kid and talking to some friends of yours and their experiences...really quite a small sample in the grand scheme of the entire medical community, isnt it?? :lol: