100 lb. Club - I'm back and I'm sad

View Full Version : I'm back and I'm sad

07-14-2013, 03:25 PM
Well, after a looooong hiatus, I am back. I went away for the same reasons a lot of people go away.....Over time, I got sidetracked by a bad work situation, a job change, a move, and an injury. One thing led to another, and I've gained back every hard-fought pound that I lost.

I don't see many people here that I remember. So I am a stranger to most of you, even though I used to be an active member of this community. I went back to the photos ("What does 50 pounds look like?"), and I wanted to cry because I looked pretty darn good in my last set of pictures.

So now it's time to start over. I was a calorie-counter and that worked well for me, so I suppose that's what I'll do again. I have an elliptical in the garage that has not been touched in over 2 years. I used to be a runner, but I have an injured achilles tendon that needs surgery before I can even wear shoes with a back on them, let alone run in them.

So today is day one....again. I'm depressed. I don't feel good. I have a closet full of fat clothes that make me feel sad, and I have a bunch of skinnier clothes that I love but can't wear.

So here is my plan:

--My underpants are falling apart, but I haven't wanted to buy replacements because I don't like the size I am. That ends today; I am going to Target to buy a new set of comfortable, new undies in my current size.

--I am going to start logging what I eat. I'm not going to count yet, just log. That always helps because I automatically think twice about eating something if I know I have to log it.

--I bought a scale a few weeks ago, and I will start using it. After all, I weigh what I weigh, whether or not I know the number, right? So I might as well know the number, so I can see when I lose.

--I will post. Posting here helped me immensely before and I think it will help again. I hope that maybe one or two of you will remember me, but even if you don't, I think it will help me to come back.

07-14-2013, 03:36 PM
Sounds good! You can't succeed if you don't try again!

Only Believe
07-14-2013, 03:45 PM
Welcome back!
I've lost and gained many times but the 2 times that hurt the most are the 60 lbs lost back in 2003 and the 30 lost last year. In 2003 when I lost that 60 I got down to 225, a number I hadn't seen in years and was looking so good. I don't know what happened. I just gained it all back plus some.. then last year I lost 30 and then experienced an empty nest and gained it back plus 10. So once again I had to start over. This time there's no going back. I plan to hang on for dear life this time. I wish you all the best!

07-14-2013, 03:57 PM
Welcome back! I remember you. I am back after a regain too. I gained back 55 of 105 pounds lost. I have relost 41 of those pounds. You can lose again too!

I think that this may be a struggle for many of us the remainder of our lives. But we can't give up. Others have conquered this and we can too!

07-14-2013, 04:04 PM
Welcome back and good luck on your journey!!
It sounds like you have a good plan to start back on your weight loss journey.

07-14-2013, 04:09 PM
Welcome back! :hug: Don't know if you'll remember me but I remember you . . . I had a different user name at the time (Sirenity) and had a Dory avatar.

I had a pretty bad regain myself, back in late 2011/early 2012. I too got sidetracked by life issues as my weight climbed, but a tragic event snapped me back into the reality of where my health was heading. After taking several weeks to mourn what I went through and acknowledge what had happened, I grimly pushed myself into a reboot in March of 2012.

I was sad to start over as well, but I knew all I could do was move forward. I started logging my food (no calorie counting, just logging), did a lot of reading on nutrition, and did a lot of browsing and posting here.

It sounds like you've set a good plan into motion! Just give it some time and effort, and you'll be feeling better before you know it. :)

07-14-2013, 04:41 PM
Welcome back! I also recently rejoined this forum and have gotten help and support for my journey back.

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.", a quote by Thatcher has been living for me this time. I regained ALL of my weight over the past 2-3 years and was also very sad and depressed about it. But, then a day comes where we realize that being sad doesn't accomplish a thing. Instead it leads us in a vicious circle of failure. That makes today a good day! We've made declarations and changes. Let's just keep making the right choices day after day and those little successes will build on each-other and we'll experience transformation! :-)

07-14-2013, 07:45 PM
Time2Lose and Sirenity/Elladorine, I remember you and I'm glad to see you! :)

Nori71, you make a very good point. Being sad and depressed and hating myself/my body doesn't do a darn thing to help me, and I remember that from before. The only thing that has ever allowed me to lose weight and get healthier is to be kind to myself. To stop beating up on myself and to stop saying hateful, mean things to myself. So that's why I'm getting new underpants today...forcing myself to wear ratty, ugly undies because I'm "too fat" for new ones makes absolutely no sense!

Thanks for the supportive comments, everyone. I feel a little better already. :)

07-14-2013, 08:01 PM
Welcome back! And I'm glad that you went ahead and bought some undies as no matter anyone's size, having undies that fit is a necessity and the first step to feeling good about yourself. :~)

When I catch myself trying to "self hate" I always ask myself
"Is it ok for you to say this to another person?
(my answer = no)
Then why is it ok to say it to yourself?"

That really does help me snap back and push on.

07-14-2013, 08:23 PM
I'm new here (about 6 months), but I admire your strength to start up again. I thougth earlier today how thin I'd be if I hadn't regained the 30 lbs I'd lost (twice). But that isn't what happened--and forward is the only way to go.

07-14-2013, 08:25 PM
Hi and welcome back :) :)

I am a newish 3FC member so I'm sure we haven't crossed paths on here before. I just wanted to reply to let you know my own needs-new-underpants situation is at Defcon 1, too, for the same reason you stated! Now I have a new mini goal ><

Looking forward to seeing you around the forums :)

07-14-2013, 08:40 PM
Welcome back!

07-14-2013, 09:15 PM
Welcome back. Please stay a while.

Your plan sounds very sensible, and you've set yourself up for some success. I think that losing weight and getting back into healthy habits can be like riding a bicycle. Once you remember how it feels, and get your balance back, you'll be on your way.

07-14-2013, 09:24 PM
So that's why I'm getting new underpants today...forcing myself to wear ratty, ugly undies because I'm "too fat" for new ones makes absolutely no sense!
I love it! I was going to mention that Victoria Secret is having their 5/$26 dollar panty sale right now. While I'm not up for the super sexy panties at the moment, I love their high leg briefs and their cheeky panties. :D

07-14-2013, 09:35 PM
I always think of the Lion King in moments like these--'put your behind in your past.' And it's true. What's done is done and you can only move forward from here. You do have a distinct advantage over people losing weight for the first time---you already know how to drop the weight and you know that you can. That in and of itself can be an amazing motivating factor for you.

You've done it once, you can do it again.

:welcome: back!

07-14-2013, 09:41 PM
Feelings are temporary. They change so often that once you get back on track, you'll start to feel better.

I've also been away for a while because I can't figure out how to get logged in and navigate the website, my job is demanding, and my boyfriend just passed away. But I need to start counting calories again, too, because that also worked for me.

I also have a closet full of clothes I can't wear like you do, but I have to lose weight so I can wear them for job interviewing.

Do whatever exercise you can to get around your health problems, and I'll do the same!

07-14-2013, 09:43 PM
Welcome back. I remember you. I'm returning and feeling the regain blues as well. Only one way to get rid of 'em... re-lose.

07-14-2013, 09:50 PM
Hi there. :wave: Welcome back. We don't know each other from before, but I wanted to say I feel your pain. I lost 70 lbs, then my marriage fell apart and I injured my foot and couldn't run. Gained back all but 13 lbs. Like you, I'm taking those baby steps to get back on track.

What else can we do? In the end, these setbacks will lose their sting after we accomplish our goals. It took me 12 years and more attempts than I can actually remember to quit smoking. I beat myself up every time I quit for a while only to go back to it. Finally, I came to realize that like an alcoholic, I'll never really be quit for life. I don't smoke one day a time. I've been quit for 9 years one day at a time.

Now I see all those past failures as learning experiences. Instead of hating myself for them, I'm proud of the fact that I had those experiences but didn't give up. I'd like to think that a lifetime of maintenance of weight loss will feel the same way.

We can't fail if we don't give up.

07-14-2013, 10:36 PM
Welcome back... :)

I've been yoyo-ing all my life too, so I know how you feel... We'll support each other journey in this lovely forum!!!


Arctic Mama
07-15-2013, 01:03 AM
Welcome back!

07-15-2013, 01:30 AM
I remember you too. I'm so glad you're back on this board...it's SUCH a huge support and it helps me so much. I'm a yo-yo'er and most recently, starting May of last year, I regained 50 out of 70 lbs. that I'd lost. I made a decision that if I ever regained, I would just not try to lose again because I didn't have it in me to fight this fight. I was depressed and miserable and suffering (I have daily pain from migraines), but then I realized that I have to do it again. I have to. I'm just too miserable being fat and stuffing my emotions.

I've been at it this time since about April of this year and I've lost a good amount of the weight I had regained and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. There has been a lot of sacrifice and hard work but I can tell you that you will really feel better sooner than you can imagine. Just being headed in the right direction is so incredibly empowering!

I look forward to seeing your progress and hope that this time next year, we'll all be hanging out together in the maintenance area. :)

07-15-2013, 09:12 AM
Welcome back Windchime; I remember you!

07-15-2013, 01:11 PM
Hi Windchime!! I remember you.
I've only been back a few months and not very active on here but I'm lacking motivation so I think I'll be posting more.

07-15-2013, 11:29 PM
Thanks so much, everyone! Tai, Arctic Mama, Saef, Aclai and Snowbound Chick....so good to see your familiar faces and to have the encouragement of members old and new. :)

07-16-2013, 11:23 AM
Windchime - I cannot sympathize with you for gaining all your weight back, because I have never succeeded in having a big weight loss. My weight has gone steadily up for 30 years, and all I have done was struggle to keep the gain lower than it might be if I wasn't trying. KWIM? The weight I did lose was the result of surgery, not due to any effort on my part.

Congratulations to Beth, I see you made it into the 180's. Good for you!

Nora I have never bought panties from Victoria Secret. I never felt I "deserved" them. Sad, isn't it?

Sorry, I'm just a little down today.

07-16-2013, 11:50 AM
Feelings are temporary. They change so often that once you get back on track, you'll start to feel better.

This is so true! I couldn't of said it better myself!

07-17-2013, 08:44 PM
Welcome back. I did the same, regained a bit but pressing on. You know you came to the right place for support and encouragement! That is why I came back-I needed to know although it isn't easy, we are all here in it together. Jump back in and be encouraged.

07-20-2013, 06:23 PM
Nora I have never bought panties from Victoria Secret. I never felt I "deserved" them. Sad, isn't it?
Sorry, I'm just a little down today.

Girl! Go immediately to the nearest Victoria's Secret and get yourself some pretty drawers! Even if you feel you don't deserve it, just do it. It's something that no one else (or very few others) will see, but it's special just for YOU! Every woman deserves pretty things, and they don't have to be expensive.

I believe women have an innate NEED for beauty - it's in our DNA. Even little bitty girls like fluffy ruffles on their panties! If you get only one pair, please, please, please splurge on a little treat for yourself. Just knowing that something pretty is next to your skin is delicious. It's all the better because you're the only one who knows it's there.

Baby steps, dear. In no time, you'll feel worthy of the "pretties" and wonder why you ever denied yourself.

07-21-2013, 11:54 AM
Welcome back!

07-21-2013, 02:47 PM
Welcome back - comfortable undies are a must!