40-Somethings - Same weight, two different reactions




TooWicky
07-13-2013, 12:45 PM
I made a lifestyle change a few months ago with regard to diet, and I have been keeping at it, with a few slip-ups here and there. Up to now, I've felt positive about my efforts overall. Yesterday something a little upsetting happened : /

I weighed the exact same amount as the day before, but instead of feeling encouraged by my changing shape, I felt... almost ugly :( ... as if the loss of 25 lbs made no difference. I kind of repulsed myself, actually. It was really disconcerting, especially since the previous day I felt really proud of myself and happy! I definitely felt at risk of totally stuffing my face, but I "rebelled" by eating an ordinary portion of baked Cheetos late at night. It could have been much worse. By this morning, the dreaded self-defeating feelings had gone, thank goodness.

I was wondering if anything like that has happened to anyone else.


luckymommy
07-13-2013, 01:41 PM
Absolutely! Weight loss is SO mental. Whenever I'm gaining weight, I basically avoid thinking about my body as much as possible and part of me is in a bit of denial about the situation. However, once I start to lose weight, it seems like everything is shocking...and not in a good way. ;) I think it's the fact that we're focusing on our appearance more. Also, there are times when I'm x amount of weight and I"ll feel great and then a bit later, I'm horrified by my appearance. Part of it has to do with the brain not being able to truly register your own appearance in the mirror...or something to that effect...I've read about it before, but can't recall exactly how it works. Anyway, don't be so hard on yourself. Trust in your methods and trust that things will just get better and better over time.

kelijpa
07-13-2013, 05:44 PM
Interesting, this is one of those things that you think only happens to you.

I've recently looked at my reflection and noticed nothing but my rolls and not how much less of me there is. Just yesterday I took my measurements and was kind of disgusted with myself at the numbers I guess because I didn't have anything to compare with. The thing is I know by my clothes I'm much smaller.

I have to find some notes where I took them a long time ago to compare, the er benefit of this not being the first time I have had to lose this weight.

Glad it passes, but it does suck when it happens!

Thanks for the thread :sunny:


Vex
07-13-2013, 10:43 PM
Oh yeah, this happens a lot to people, especially me. I get discouraged all the time that I've been in the 160's forever and feel like a failure. It's like you completely forget all the accomplishments you've done to get with that point.

I'm pretty sure it's a normal feeling with weight loss and with life in general. It's when you feel that way ALL THE TIME that it might be cause for concern.

Magicsusan
07-14-2013, 03:00 AM
Not much to add, except to say me too. I take naked (yes, naked- I don't want to be able to lie to myself in any way) pictures of myself every month or so and make myself take them out and compare the progress when I start to feel like that. It's so easy to just hide my shame in a box of cookies instead, but this time I'm as determined to combat the negative feelings with as much energy as I combat the flab. So far, it seems to be working.

TooWicky
07-14-2013, 09:04 AM
Thank you for all the responses. Everything mentioned certainly feels like a component of why I had an odd perception day. I'm relieved to know I'm not alone, and I very much appreciate all the advice for how to stay positive, accepting, and determined.

The stages of losing weight definitely don't mirror the stages of gaining weight. I'm seeing shapes of myself I've never seen before, and not necessarily good shapes! I feel like I'm the alien wearing the Edgar suit from Men In Black. Shapewear investment is imminent, lol.

kelijpa
07-15-2013, 07:05 PM
Lol Toowicky, it is funny how it doesn't come off the same way!

MagicSusan-you are a brave, strong woman, congrats on being able to do that, sometimes I don't like to see myself in the mirror in my underwear, but I do wish I could see where I was to fully appreciate where I am.

:sunny:

beth4365
07-15-2013, 10:09 PM
Wow... what a great thread.

I am trying hard hard hard to battle all the old tapes my head plays.

Very embarrassing to type what I'm about to type... but, I'm going to type it anyway...

Nearly every morning when I wake up... I have a thought about myself.. and, it is always linked to how my food intake was the day before. If I was "good"... then I say nice things to myself. If I was "bad", then a torrent of self-loathing takes place before I even put my feet on the floor to face the day.

I ***KNOW*** this is crazy and terribly harmful to my spirit... but... trying to break out of this cycle is almost as difficult as trying to lose the weight.

I would not treat anyone I love this way and cannot account for why I do this to myself.

In any case, I appreciate this thread and knowing that others struggle in similar ways.

Best wishes to us all.

Magicsusan
07-16-2013, 07:36 AM
I know exactly what you mean Beth. It's shocking how much time I waste(d) feeling 'good' or 'bad' and have to keep asking myself, according to whom? Whose business is it what I eat and how big I am? Mine. That why I am determined this time, not to go on a diet, but to get a life I like. I know that being more active and eating healthy is part of that, so that's what I'm doing. I feel so much better than I did 6 months ago. The weight loss is a fantastic plus, and I hope I keep losing, because it will allow me to be more and more active and confident.
I still have to remind myself sometimes, though, that the number on the wii board is *not* why I'm here; it's just an indicator of sorts.

Also, I try to stop assessing the previous day as 'bad' when I ate things that weren't good for me, or didn't get any exercise, but rather to ask 'why?' It's helped me identify potentially harmful situations and also to put that all important pause in before the chocolate lands in my mouth to ask 'Why am I feeling so down I'm reaching for the chocolate when I'm stuffed?'

Thank you so much for saying that, Kelijpa. I think it takes someone who's been there to appreciate my motives and rather (to others, at least) peculiar actions. :D

TooWicky, my problem right now is that my 'fat' is going soft! It used to be sort of solid, but now it's looking a bit deflated. I could easily go down another shirt size, but for my gigantic upper arms!:mad: