100 lb. Club - It's About My Comfort Level, Not Yours!




Garnet2727
07-08-2013, 02:12 PM
OK, warning, this is a snarky, snotty vent post. Lately, a couple of people in my life have been giving me flak about my clothing choices. Particularly about the fact that I donít wear sleeveless anything and I rarely wear short sleeves. I have two reasons for that. One, Iím freaking cold most of the time and two, I donít like the way my upper arms look. The truth is, though, I shouldnít have to give any <insert profanity> justification for what I choose to wear! If Iím not comfortable in sleeveless or short sleeves then why the <insert string of profanities here> should I wear them? Hereís a news flash, I wear clothing that I like, that I feel comfortable in and that I find pleasing. I donít give a single <insert another profanity referring to a ratís rear end> if you are more comfortable sleeveless, Iím not! I donít care if you think that my arms look ďjust fine,Ē I donít! I have a mirror and I can clearly see these cottage cheese batwings of mine. I donít care if you think I should flap them about anyway, Iím not comfortable with that!

Anyone else having problems with people saying, ďOh but you should wear this,Ē when ďthisĒ is not something youíd touch with a 10-foot-pole?


NYFLAgirl
07-08-2013, 02:37 PM
Haha-that was quite a vent! I hope it made you feel better. :)

I had the exact same thing happen to me a few years back. I hate my upper arms too-with a passion. They are huge and weight loss has not made them much smaller. I never wear short sleeves or sleeveless unless I'm outside and its ABSOLUTELY necessary (like it being summer and I live in Florida). I went to party with a couple of my friends and my one loud mouthed friend decided to blurt out in front of everyone "OMG why do you always wear long sleeves??? It's not wintertime!" To which I said "why does it matter to you what I wear?" She didn't reply.

Its no one's business what you wear. As long as you are comfortable that is all that matters. I think people project their own insecurities on others (my friend is very overweight and has been struggling with it for years). Guess what-I still never go sleeveless and I'm very happy and comfortable with that decision. :)

JenteIsving
07-08-2013, 02:41 PM
I hear you. Oh yes. And lately people have been trying to tell me not only what to wear but also where to buy my clothes. Meaning, they've been trying to convince me to leave the plus size clothing shops behind and start shopping in "regular size clothing" stores. I know they mean well, but... as silly as it may sound, this is a huge step for me, it really is, and I'm just not ready to take it (yet).
So, yeah, no solution or advice, but I know exactly what you are talking about.


kaplods
07-08-2013, 02:55 PM
Sometimes the easiest way to get people to stop doing something that annoys you is to tell them to stop because it annoys you.

If that doesn't work, you can try giving them similar advise every time they offer their opinion. "I'll give your suggestion some thought, by the way you shouldn't wear that neckline, it shows off your turkey neck and makes you look old.... and you really should try some concealer on those dark circles under your eyes.

Just a thoughtm

Garnet2727
07-08-2013, 03:02 PM
Oh, believe me when I say that I let people know when their comments are unwelcome. It's just that all of a sudden, this is an issue that keeps popping up and from more than one person. I swear that I feel like I'm playing a real life game of whack-a-mole right now. "No, I don't wear sleeveless!" Whack! "Please stop bugging me about this, I don't wear sleeveless!" Whack! "Would you shut the H up about this? I DON'T WEAR SLEEVELESS!" WHACK!

Response from bugger: "Oh, but you'd look so cute in that dres..." WHACK, WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!!!!!!

Annie on a roll
07-08-2013, 03:15 PM
I hear that too.

I have never worn sleeveless shirts or shorts above just above my knee. Even when I was a size 8. It has less to do with my size and more to do with my comfort level.

I am the same in a bathing suit. Skirts and shorts with a rash guard less to sunscreen and burn. I even have long sleeve rash guards now and love them.

You are not alone.

Mozzy
07-08-2013, 04:39 PM
Hugs

Underwater
07-08-2013, 05:12 PM
I could have written this exact post!!! Except mine is short(er) skirts.

I bought a dress Saturday when shopping with my sister. I felt like it was too short. Now, this wasn't even shorter than half-way between my crotch and knees, but anything above that sport RIGHT above my knees feels "too short" for me.

I bought it because she insisted it was fine. And she encouraged me to push my comfort level "just a little bit" to "open up my clothing options." "You look normal now" she told me.

Well, I wore it that night out to eat with 2 other couples and was self-conscious the entire time. I'm returning that dress. I'm happy Kohls has a great return policy.

Moral of the story- don't buy clothes you don't love. Why spend the money?

Good for you for speaking up for yourself!

Hyacinth
07-08-2013, 05:23 PM
I totally get this.

When I was younger, probably 11 or 12, I wore shorts to my friend's house. I was probably considered to be a "solid" weight at this time, not as chubby as I'd been a year before. My friend's mother asked me what I had been doing. I said riding my bike, that's all? She asked why I had an arch of dirt above each knee. She tried wiping it off, and it was just my skin being a little discolored or bunched up there or something. Guess what? I made it my goal to never show my knees in public again. Eventually that became unrealistic, but I became known for always wearing pants, I got flak for years and years and years for not wearing shorts and shorter skirts.

sontaikle
07-08-2013, 05:38 PM
I understand completely.

Since I hit goal, I've become everyone's favorite dress up doll. I keep hearing "you're skinny now!! You can wear this!!"

Just because I CAN wear it doesn't mean I want to.

punkrocksong
07-08-2013, 11:37 PM
I'm starting to get that a little...and what irks me is that no one dared say anything about what I wore when I weighed over 300 lbs, but now that people know I'm losing weight I get all sorts of unwelcomed advise.

I don't so much get the "you should" as the "can't you wait until you're skinny so you can wear A, B, or C?" I find it tiresome.

I also get comments on how I went from going weeks without wearing the same thing to "Didn't you just wear that last week?" I've lost almost 60 lbs. people - and I can't afford to buy new clothes every time I drop a size! I'm making due with what I have - why has my life become so fascinating all of the sudden?

Or I get remarks about how things are too big for me...I know it's too big for me...I have limited options right now...leave me alone.

Gee...I guess I'm feeling a little annoyed too...this is a great topic!

SeeMyFeet
07-09-2013, 12:49 AM
OK I have to post....Just because I love Hyacinth's avatar!

You guys must be "young" and surrounded by other females a lot. I really cannot relate. (Wish I could.) When you look like me and ol' Hyacinth, you would take encouragement to wear sleeveless as a royal compliment. A compliment that you would relate to every poor salesman who rings your pearl-white slim-line push-button digital telephone with automatic last-number redial. You would feast on that compliment for a good three months.....if you were me and ol' Hyacinth, that is.

So think of me and ol' Hyacinth when you turn those "compliments" around. "Sleeveless!?! And give the all men in this county a look at these guns? They'd be drooling so much--the CDC would be called in to investigate a new rabies epidemic in these here parts! I can't do that to the CDC! These ManMagnets cannot be revealed!" And then brag to the next girl about the compliment you just received, and the next girl, and the next girl...

Oh what fun! How I wish I had that problem! If I did wear sleeveless, you would be hearing all the folks around here screamin' for me to cover up! Guar-an-teed!

No, I'm not crazy:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1316058/Its-legs-breasts-make-men-weak-knees--catch-fellows-eye-bit-arm.html

Go figure.

Right to bare arms (or not). Haha! You Go Girls!!! You're obviously rockin' the weight loss!!!! :carrot:

Garnet2727
07-09-2013, 09:56 AM
LOL! Well, I'm not young. I will be turning 50 this year. But you know what? I am rockin' the weight loss gig. *big grin* Thanks for that, SeeMyFeet, you made me smile.

Hyacinth
07-09-2013, 01:25 PM
@Seemyfeet - Right to bare arms, :lol:

I don't get a lot of advice on what to wear, but I get a lot of advice on what diet trick should work for me! Oh, I should try Weight Watchers? I did, in 1991 and in 1995. In fact, I am pretty sure I have done them all. Let me tell you about my 20 years of disordered eating behaviors. ha ha

kaplods
07-09-2013, 01:56 PM
People love giving their advice and opinions. This site wouldn't be here if we didn't. Some people have lots of opinions, some have only a few. Some are talented at sharing without coming across as pushy, others try to sell or force theirs onto others. Some have difficulty differentiating between opinion and incontrovertible fact.

Broken-record opinions can get tiresome, especially when they're not our own, but I think it helps to know that we all do this. For every opinion we're tired of hearing, there's someone sick of hearing what WE have to say.

Garnet2727
07-09-2013, 02:07 PM
True that, kaplods. :D

cincorn
07-09-2013, 02:11 PM
In my opinion there are many, many overweight and obese young women walking around showing entirely too much! Fat rolls are not attractive! Tight low cut jeans and tight spaghetti strap shirts showing fat rolls, muffin tops, fat pouches, flab etc. are GROSS in my opinion. I can't believe how some people dress! They seem to think they are a size 6 instead of a 26. I've seen women in bikini's that had so much fat rolling over that you couldn't see the bottom of the bikini at all! YUCK! Disclamier: I am an old fuddy-duddy, born in 1959. HOWEVER, I would never say anything to anyone about what they are wearing. It's their choice---even if I think they made a poor one. I say wear what you want to wear and good on you for having some sense of decorum and modesty which is sadly lacking today in my opinion.

GlamourGirl827
07-09-2013, 02:27 PM
OK, warning, this is a snarky, snotty vent post. Lately, a couple of people in my life have been giving me flak about my clothing choices. Particularly about the fact that I donít wear sleeveless anything and I rarely wear short sleeves. I have two reasons for that. One, Iím freaking cold most of the time and two, I donít like the way my upper arms look. The truth is, though, I shouldnít have to give any <insert profanity> justification for what I choose to wear! If Iím not comfortable in sleeveless or short sleeves then why the <insert string of profanities here> should I wear them? Hereís a news flash, I wear clothing that I like, that I feel comfortable in and that I find pleasing. I donít give a single <insert another profanity referring to a ratís rear end> if you are more comfortable sleeveless, Iím not! I donít care if you think that my arms look ďjust fine,Ē I donít! I have a mirror and I can clearly see these cottage cheese batwings of mine. I donít care if you think I should flap them about anyway, Iím not comfortable with that!
Anyone else having problems with people saying, ďOh but you should wear this,Ē when ďthisĒ is not something youíd touch with a 10-foot-pole?

You had me at "ok warning..." lol First very gracious to vent here instead of ripping into the actually guilt parties that you are obviously quite irritated with. I am not so self controled. Also kudos for editing out the 4 letter words, as my Irish temper does not seem to support that way of expressing myself!

On the topic of your post, I think you are completely justified to become annoyed at people's comment especially if the same people are badgering you about it and especially if your asked them to stop. We all have the clothes we are comfortable in, and its very annoying when peope try to put their fashion opinions on your body. I must admit, that nearly all those types of comments in my life came from females. Friends or family saying, oh you should do this or wear this. For the most part the males in my life wouldn't care if I wore a burlap sack, lol.

I personally don't mind the occassional "oh you'd look nice in XYZ", but I've know a few people over the years that were repeat offenders, suggesting the same thing over and over and over. After awhile, it moves from being an innocent comment or idea about what they think would flatter your appearance, to IMO them trying to say you willl only look good if you wear what they are suggesting. I don't think it is good for anyone to harp on a friend or family's appearance so much that it creates negativity.

I'm sure they don't mean to upset you, but I can still see how it can be annoying after a while. Have you tried asking them to stop? maybe they just don't realize that you are getting annoyed by it.

Nagazim
07-09-2013, 03:34 PM
I'd say you're justified in being annoyed. I think I must have a neat little filter that most people around me have either lost or ignore. Why is it anyone else's place to tell you how to dress? Maybe you should start suggesting what they should wear since x,y, and z on them isn't working for you anymore. ;) (Ok, maybe not since that came from a very snarky place.)


My newest annoyance with, of all people, my hubs is poking me in the stomach to express how good I look. Really, you just had to poke it didn't you. We're due for a hospital run. :devil:

PreciousMissy
07-09-2013, 07:23 PM
*stomps foot*

Just because something is "in style" doesn't mean I have to like it, or wear it!

I wear what makes me feel good and what I am comfortable in.

Vortex_VVV
07-09-2013, 07:42 PM
Here's a plan I've considered but haven't carried out: Print up some little slips of paper that say something like "I'm sorry my clothing choices don't meet with your approval. But I'm also tired of justifying my personal decisions to others. I value you and don't want to fight, but I'd be really grateful if you would drop it." Then just silently hand them out to every critic.

Trazey34
07-11-2013, 08:47 PM
if it's OK for people to squeeze themselves into ill-fitting clothing meant for kids much younger, and it's ok for people to wear PJs to Wal-mart, I say wear whatever you want.

I've just recently started wearing real "short sleeves" the one that's mid upper arm and I feel naked LOL and my arms are pretty jacked these days. People say "let me feel the guns" and I flinch -- umm NO please don't touch my touchy area ;)

that being said, when i see people wearing fleece hoodies and sweatpants on 99 degree days I think "serial killer" or something :D

happy dance
07-13-2013, 03:44 PM
Hee Hee, great profanity laden post.

You could always go with a completely ridiculous, over-the-top reply to show how "over" these comments you really are.
"Thank you for your suggestions, but I need these sleeves to cover the track marks from my years of heroin abuse."

"...., but I can't show my arms. Since Johnny Depp and I broke up, I just can't stand looking at the tattoo we got together."

Garnet2727
07-13-2013, 04:45 PM
LOL! I love those responses, happy dance!