Weight Loss Support - How do you feel about your picture being taken?




Euphy
07-02-2013, 11:20 AM
My boyfriend and I went to the zoo last week, so I was just uploading everything on my camera. I discovered a lot of pictures my boyfriend had secretly taken of me. In the kitchen cooking, on the couch, at the computer.

I don't think I've ever felt so bad about myself. I didn't know I looked that gross. I honestly just feel disgusted with myself. I was so excited this morning too, because I've FINALLY starting dropping some weight ever since I quit birth control. I don't want this to send me into a depression.

I've asked him not to take pictures of me because I can't handle seeing what I look like to other people. I don't know if he does it to make me feel bad about myself so I'll try harder to lose weight, but that's how it makes me feel.

I know some people like before pictures to see the progress they've made, but it just really tears me up. It doesn't help me at all.


Hyacinth
07-02-2013, 11:57 AM
I've had some pretty shocking photo moments as well, and avoided the camera forever. I joined facebook at my near-top weight, and the horrible photos I saw of myself (dancing, red-faced and sweating at a wedding) had a fair amount of influence over my decision to lose weight. Other things motivated me as well, but that was certainly a poke in the direction I wanted to go!

Don't hate yourself, and don't hate your appearance. The camera is a 2-dimensional representation of a 3-dimensional world. The more overweight you are, the more the camera distorts.

I used to tell people that my beauty was a moving sort of beauty. lol

GlamourGirl827
07-02-2013, 12:04 PM
I have never liked it. Even at my goal weight, I avoid being in photos. When I'm at this weight, forget it. I'd rather jump off a cliff than be in a picture!


Lolo70
07-02-2013, 12:07 PM
I've had some pretty shocking photo moments as well, and avoided the camera forever. I joined facebook at my near-top weight, and the horrible photos I saw of myself (dancing, red-faced and sweating at a wedding) had a fair amount of influence over my decision to lose weight. Other things motivated me as well, but that was certainly a poke in the direction I wanted to go!

Don't hate yourself, and don't hate your appearance. The camera is a 2-dimensional representation of a 3-dimensional world. The more overweight you are, the more the camera distorts.

I used to tell people that my beauty was a moving sort of beauty. lol

This made me smile. Exactly my story. Almost two years later, I feel a lot better about myself.

Desiderata
07-02-2013, 12:14 PM
I'm surprised I'm still so unhappy with how I look in most pictures. I'm a lot happier when I look in the mirror - and abstractly, I know the camera and the mirror aren't comparable and the mind plays tricks, etc, etc. But still. I was at a family event with a lot of photos recently - and got many positive compliments on my weight loss - but I'm still embarrassed by 90% of the photos of me. :/ To be fair, that feeling is 10x worse when I look back at older pictures.

Psychic
07-02-2013, 12:15 PM
I hate seeing pictures of myself. I have this one friend that loves to take candid photos and post them on facebook. The most recent uploads included a tagged picture of me partially bent over with my shirt riding up my back. Bleh. I never realized that I looked that fat from behind until she started taking pictures of me.

Tuscany
07-02-2013, 12:28 PM
Remember that cameras don't really tell the "truth", no matter what...plus cameras definitely add pounds. Even my skinny friends and relatives look bigger in photos than they do in person.

I always love photos of me that are taken by professional photographers and I hate photos taken by amateurs. Relative to a mirror, the amateur photographs look much worse and the professional photographs look much better. So, what's the truth? The mirror? The amateur photos? Or the professional photos? Darned if I know!

As for your boyfriend...try to be flattered that he wants a photograph of you.

Song of Surly
07-02-2013, 12:45 PM
I've asked him not to take pictures of me because I can't handle seeing what I look like to other people. I don't know if he does it to make me feel bad about myself so I'll try harder to lose weight, but that's how it makes me feel.

From the way you said he took the pictures - candid, in the moment, every day - it actually sounds quite the opposite of how you feel. It seems to me he probably thinks that you're beautiful doing these things, and because of that, he wants a picture. You "inspire" him. My boyfriend has taken several shots of me like this, and sometimes they have not always been very clothed. Some of those I can't even stand to look at, but he thinks I look beautiful.

He also has taken pictures purely for embarrassment, but those are not tied to my weight. Me with a cold sleeping with my mouth open. Catching me candidly so he can get some really atrocious looking face. His favorite is taking a picture in the dark so he gets my stunned, eyes half closed drunk-looking face. If that is what your boyfriend is trying to achieve, then that's kind of out of love as well - only a more teasing love.

Also, I don't mind cameras terribly. I've been embarrassed by a few facebook photos, but I figure that everyone knows my size - no use hiding it. Yes, some times I wish photos had gotten my "good side," but I don't worry about it too much.

gagalu
07-02-2013, 12:51 PM
i used to hide from cameras. now i wish i could have more pictures taken just so i can know how other people see me! my journey has tendered loads of body dysmorphia and i often feel a lot bigger than i actually am.

tubolard
07-02-2013, 12:55 PM
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Run away run away!!! Panic!!! Hit the dirt!!! Hide, hide, hide. Um yeah that about sums it up for me, lol.

Kayles
07-02-2013, 01:37 PM
I usually quite like photos, I go off the idea of the more pictures people take of me the more likely I am to find one I like ahah
You're boyfriend doesnt sound like he's taken these pictures maliciously, it sounds like he was actually just taking photos of his beautiful girlfriend. :)

kaplods
07-02-2013, 03:18 PM
I've never been camera shy and I think it's because in my family, photos were always associated with love, happiness, good times, important milestones and accomplishments.

I don't always like how the pictures turn out, but very rarely have I been ashamed of them.

The exception is naughty pictures. I don't mind hubby taking naughty photos, I just make him delete them when we're done playing, "so they don't fall into the wrong hands."

Hubby teases me about my paranoia, and it is kind of funny. I mean it's not like the tabloids are clamoring for naked pictures of me, but I'm not taking any chances.

saef
07-02-2013, 08:06 PM
I'm fascinated by them, because of my own body dysmorphia: I really honestly want to see what I look like.

That's not to say that I always like what I see. Just that I really, really want to see it. To know it.

Vex
07-02-2013, 08:46 PM
Hah, I find I want MORE pictures of me now, but no one ever takes them! I can take them of myself, but that's kind of lame. I'd really like to see how I'm comparing in size now to other people, because it's tough mentally to get a handle on it.

TheSecondHalf
07-02-2013, 08:47 PM
My boyfriend and I went to the zoo last week, so I was just uploading everything on my camera. I discovered a lot of pictures my boyfriend had secretly taken of me. In the kitchen cooking, on the couch, at the computer.

I don't think I've ever felt so bad about myself. I didn't know I looked that gross. I honestly just feel disgusted with myself. I was so excited this morning too, because I've FINALLY starting dropping some weight ever since I quit birth control. I don't want this to send me into a depression.

I've asked him not to take pictures of me because I can't handle seeing what I look like to other people. I don't know if he does it to make me feel bad about myself so I'll try harder to lose weight, but that's how it makes me feel.

I know some people like before pictures to see the progress they've made, but it just really tears me up. It doesn't help me at all.

I like some photos better than others. I've had the experience of thinking I look pretty good, only to see the pics later and think wow, who is that sweaty fat lady!

But my real concern is why is your boyfriend doing anything "secretly" that you've asked him not to do, and do you really think he'd try to "shame" you into losing weight and then try to pass it off as "for your own good"? These are not the markers of healthy boundaries.

Missy Krissy
07-03-2013, 09:40 AM
For me, the more pictures taken of me the better!

I feel like most people aren't satisfied with most pictures of themselves. I look at in a mathematical way: Say you only like 1 out of 100 pictures of yourself. Ok, so why not take 200 pictures so that you can have 2 pictures that you like?

You can always throw out bad pictures of yourself or un-tag yourself from photos on facebook.

As an aside, I will say that at my high weight I have very very few pictures of myself that I actually like, but I also did not have many photos taken of me. Now that I'm at a weight that I'm more comfortable with my relationship with the camera is completely different.

Euphy
07-03-2013, 09:44 AM
I have never been photogenic, but I never minded being in pictures until I got over 180 lbs (20 years ago). Thinking about it now, it was once I passed over from being overweight to obese that I started really have issues with my body although I have been dieting since I was 11. Interesting. With that said, I think we are always critical of ourselves in pictures. I still occasionally see a picture I like, but it is usually candid shots and never "posed".

I think that's what bothered me. I'm at my highest weight ever right now. I was always just kinda chubby but never obese.

Oh well, what can you do? Can't change it overnight. I let myself feel sorry for a little bit, but now it's back on the hamster wheel. :p

Wannabehealthy
07-03-2013, 10:05 AM
I hate to have pictures taken and avoid it whenever possible. Candid pics are the worst. At least let me stand up straight and make an effort to look my best. I think a Facebook friend who posts pictures of you without your permission should be unfriended immediately. A true friend would consider your feelings.

As for the boyfriend taking pics, he loves you the way you are or he wouldn't be your boyfriend. Hang onto him!

I recently went through a bag of old photos and found several of me when I was 130 lbs. I never thought of myself as beautiful back then, but I look at those pictures and say "Wow!" Of course, I was also 35 years younger! LOL

Hyacinth
07-03-2013, 10:12 AM
I find that since I've lost weight, I am now frequently pleasantly surprised with how photos turn out. Like others have said, body dysmorphia ... we haven't internalized how we look yet.

People are not shy about posting pictures and tagging on facebook, are they? I've had friends who do that, but I've also had friends say "let me see the picture" right after it was taken, and then asking them to retake if they look bad in it.

I've also seen people post a note on a facebook photo of themselves and say "crop this ASAP, please!" about an unpleasant view of their waistline.

sontaikle
07-03-2013, 10:55 AM
I love having pictures taken of me UNLESS I HAVE MY HAIR UP. I don't know; it's a thing. I don't really like how I look with it up. I think it's a holdover from when I was obese...I felt like my head looked too tiny.

I don't really MIND so much if someone snaps a picture of me with my hair up now, but I don't really make an effort to be in a snapshot like I do when my hair is down.

If it's been a while since I got my eyebrows threaded AND my hair is up, I run from the camera! :lol:

krampus
07-03-2013, 11:01 AM
A flattering photo vs an unflattering photo can make me look up to 20-30 pounds heavier or lighter than I am.

Chronostasis
07-03-2013, 01:16 PM
Hah, I find I want MORE pictures of me now, but no one ever takes them! I can take them of myself, but that's kind of lame. I'd really like to see how I'm comparing in size now to other people, because it's tough mentally to get a handle on it.Totally this! At my high weight I avoided the camera like the plague. Now I wish I had more pictures at all points! It's slightly disappointing to me that I don't have a "start weight" picture or any "along the way" pictures to compare.
I'd also like to get more pictures of myself right now. I'm always a little startled every time I walk into a YMCA class and look at the mirror wall (the entire front of the room is a giant mirror to "check form" or something.) We don't have any full-length mirrors at my house, so it's a very different perspective. I look a LOT smaller, particularly in my legs (which I have never liked before, because I tend to carry more weight there.) It seems like the size difference between myself and the "fit-looking" people in the class is rapidly shrinking. But I want photos to really prove to myself that it's not just mind tricks!

Buffinlovin
07-03-2013, 01:23 PM
Remember that cameras don't really tell the "truth", no matter what...plus cameras definitely add pounds. Even my skinny friends and relatives look bigger in photos than they do in person.

I always love photos of me that are taken by professional photographers and I hate photos taken by amateurs. Relative to a mirror, the amateur photographs look much worse and the professional photographs look much better. So, what's the truth? The mirror? The amateur photos? Or the professional photos? Darned if I know!

As for your boyfriend...try to be flattered that he wants a photograph of you.

I love photos that are taken by professionals, too, and have contemplated getting a couple professional photos taken to "start" my photo journey, so to speak. I want a few pictures that I can look at from the start of my weight, but I don't want them to be the ones my friends or family takes, because I feel I just look hideous in those pictures. I love my smile, but in the pictures my friends and family take it always seems like my smile gets lost in my chubby cheeks. :(

luckymommy
07-03-2013, 01:29 PM
Did you ask him why he took the photos? I have taken photos of myself to see what I look like and I'm horrified. It is rare for me to like any of my photos, but honestly, when I look back at photos from when I was younger, I can see that I was overreacting and even though some aren't necessarily flattering, some are quite nice.

I can see why you're upset, but try to focus on the fact that by this time next year, you might not mind being photographed quite as much. ;)

Dreamer2012
07-03-2013, 07:49 PM
Having pictures in general, I used to hate! I always just felt like I had so much extra weight and didn't like the pictures. Last year when I lost weight and looked a lot slimmer, I was fine with pictures of myself. Right now since I've gained, I hate most pictures of me but not to the point I used to hate them. While I'm back to my original start weight at the moment, I feel in the past year, I've actually come to like my body to a certain degree. I guess at the end of this, I will be able too look back at pictures of me now and compare to how I look once I reach goal. It will be nice to see the comparison.

I've only just looked back at old pictures of me from as far as 2010 and the differences in my weight. I got down to 128lbs by the end of 2012 and it was such a change!

I can completely understand the hatred for pictures. We all need to love ourselves and our bodies but it can be hard to accept this and to learn to love ourselves. I'm sure at some point you will reach the body where you will like yourself in pictures. I think it's down to confidence and how you feel about yourself but over time it will change! And remember, your boyfriend loves you no matter what! :)

olehcat
07-04-2013, 10:48 AM
I was kind of a ham and liked my pics when I was in the 120s (in weight), but now that I am WAY too close to 150 (I'm only 5'2"), I avoid the camera like the PLAGUE. In fact, recently my friend who is 5'0" and 100 pounds wanted to take a pic with me and I thought I looked so hideous and hulkish (in comparison to my friend) that I deleted it immediately. That's how pathetic I feel. I can't even bear to be in a pic with someone smaller than me right now because *I* used to be the small one in pics and now I'm not.

Whew, that felt good to write out. I know this is something I need to get over, but I really, really hate myself in pics right now, only because I don't feel like I look like myself at the moment...

Wannabeskinny
07-05-2013, 08:34 AM
Mostly I hate it. I didn't always, but now I do. But it is a helpful indicator of reality isn't it? In fact I have learned now that taking a picture of myself while shopping is a very good indicator of how those clothes look on me. When I try things on I really really can't tell if it looks good or not, and I'm usually in disagreement with my shopping companion like she thinks it looks awesome on me and I'm really uncomfortable in it. Or I think it looks really good and she thinks it looks terrible. Perception is very strange. So I take a picture of myself in the mirror and when I look at it I see that it looks COMPLETELY different on camera than it does in the mirror and is usually a better gauge of reality.... if only reality were kinder :(

Hyacinth
07-05-2013, 01:33 PM
Wannabeskinny, that's an interesting observation, and good idea. I will have to try that (taking photos while trying something on).

jd6418
07-05-2013, 04:04 PM
Wow. I can't believe what I am reading. I am sure all of you are beautiful in your own way and have features that are better than others. I will admit I didn't always like pictures being taken, but if it is that bad (from what I am reading) then you know you should become healthier and feel better about yourself. Even if you don't lose weight right away, eating healthy and exercising makes anyone feel WAY better. Let your photos be a journey of your weight loss and inspirations for others.

Euphy
07-06-2013, 04:04 PM
Mostly I hate it. I didn't always, but now I do. But it is a helpful indicator of reality isn't it? In fact I have learned now that taking a picture of myself while shopping is a very good indicator of how those clothes look on me. When I try things on I really really can't tell if it looks good or not, and I'm usually in disagreement with my shopping companion like she thinks it looks awesome on me and I'm really uncomfortable in it. Or I think it looks really good and she thinks it looks terrible. Perception is very strange. So I take a picture of myself in the mirror and when I look at it I see that it looks COMPLETELY different on camera than it does in the mirror and is usually a better gauge of reality.... if only reality were kinder :(
I have noticed this too. Honestly, when I look in the mirror, I don't think I look that bad. Then I see a picture of myself that someone else has taken and I see a totally different person. It's pretty disappointing, but I'm trying to work through it.

Missys Mom
07-06-2013, 05:15 PM
I'm another one who hates having pictures taken of them....I did have professional photos taken of my dog and I a few years ago from work....those I loved except for my fat arms. My mom's friend is a photographer and she will be taking some pictures again this year of my dog and my cats and I....I will most likely love those as well. Any other pics taken of me I am ashamed of even though others have seen results in my face and whatnot....but, I hate how I look.

Rift
07-07-2013, 11:58 PM
For the past few years I have absolutely hated having my photo taken. Photos did nothing other than to further cement my feelings than I was nothing other than an obese loathsome creature and in turn tapping into one of my worst weight loss issues/hurdles, emotional eating...I would eat because I was depressed about the way I looked.

Now I'm determined to document my weight loss and change in self (my countenance looks less stressed and tense and happier) through photographs...whether they are selfies or photographs taken by others.

I'm trying to take a negative and turn it into a positive.

Michelle2008
07-08-2013, 02:41 AM
I hate photos and it has been be cause of many family arguments! I am a till about 15lbs heavier than when I feel okay to be photographed - but I am missing out so much.

My neices are my world but thy will think I was never around when they we babies!!